Many thanks to Bluey for those transcript.
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TV scheduling wreaks havoc with fans' sleep patterns
By: Diana Griffith 
Chronicle Staff

My girlfriend is upside down, her body on the floor, legs on the couch.  She's
not practicing yoga or doing fancy sit ups, she's just trying to stay awake.
For Xena.
Xena: Warrior Princess is her favorite television show, and with football
season, it's been pushed back on Sunday evenings to 12:30 a.m. Monday
mornings.
For a woman who is usually passed out by 9:30 or 10 each night, staying up
this late is no easy task.
Aside form trying out new seating positions, she will watch any lousy sitcom,
surf the net, drink sodas and chatter incessantly, all in an effort to stay up
to watch her heroine save yet another day.
It would be easy to dismiss my friend's behavior as just an isolated
idiosyncrasy, one fan's obsession, if it were not for the legions of other
Xenaphiles doing the very same thing.
Xena has taken hold of the nation, with a following that includes young and
old, men and women, gay and straight.
No matter what time the show comes on, millions are racing home from work,
skipping classes, and even setting thier alarms.
True fans of the show can be counted on to be firmly planted in front of the
television in plenty of time to see the whole episode from start to finish,
including the preview scenes for next week's show.
In the horrible event that they are somehow kept from their couch, be sure
that they have learned how to program thier VCR and are secure in the
knowledge that the taped version will be awaiting thier arrival home.
Fans of this nature are not new to television.  Other shows have inspired
similar responses.  Start Trek (all incarnations) has led many to leave normal
society altogether, becoming the dreaded "trekkies."
And who doesn't know someone who has canceled plans because of a Friends
episode?
In the '80s it was Dallas that had us glued to our TV trays, even during the
ludicrous dream sequence of Bobby's.
Let's not forget Twin Peaks.  There were Twin Peaks parties, happy hours, even
a Twin Peaks wedding.  Thank goodness those days are behind us.  
Just last season the country had a standing date on Wednesday nights with
Ellen, waiting for her to come out of her rather see-through closet.
So this Xena mania is not that unique.  Nor is it too hard to understand,
given the beauty of the star, Lucy Lawless, the extravagant costumes and the
intricate plotlines.
This is not to say that Xena cold be considered great art.  It is more likely
an incredibly fun, well-done inside joke that we all seem to get and enjoy.
Whatever the reason, the show has legions of fans, as can be seen in the many
unauthorized web-sites, t-shirts, Halloween costumes, etc.
Not to mention my girlfriend staying up all night, an act of shear and utter
devotion.
And oh yeah, why do you think I'm writing all this now?
I'm waiting up for Xena too.
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