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Volume IV, Number 14, 4/8/98
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Xena

	Gabrielle has mysterious dreams. "I had the 
same one again, where I was hugging this mysterious 
woman-"
	"You dreamed about hugging a mysterious woman?" 
said Xena. "Hey, how come I wasn't in this dream?"

	Things get even stranger when Gabrielle gets 
mysteriously pregnant!
	"All right, Gabrielle, have you been cheating 
on me?" Xena asked.
	"No, Xena!"
	"Then how did you get pregnant?" said Xena. 
"Listen, I know we had talked about seeing that 
friendly titan for a sperm donation, but did you-"
	"No, Xena."
	"What about that hydra? I saw the way you were 
winking at him."
	"It wasn't the hydra, Xena."
	"hmm.... how about the giant one-eyed Cyclops? 
At the time you told me how you were really turned on 
by his giant... feet."
	"No," said Gabrielle.

	When the baby is born, Gabrielle peers at it 
cautiously. "It's not exhibiting any obvious 
monsterisms."
	"Yes, if you ignore the fangs, claws, and all 
the hissing sounds it makes," says Xena. "It also 
strangled your last two babysitters."
	"We just haven't found the right kind of hired 
help," said Gabrielle.
	"Face it, Gabrielle, your baby is a monster. 
And there's only one thing to be done with monsters," 
said Xena.
	Gabrielle, in tears, says, "You're right. I've 
been in denial all along." She hands the baby to 
Xena. "Here. You're stronger than I am. Do what has 
to be done."
	Xena nods. "Extreme circumstances call for 
extreme measures." Taking the baby on her lap, she 
starts to spank it. "Baaad Baby!"