HOT HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP & TV REVIEW!!!
Volume III, Number 51, 12/21/97
Gossip * TV reviews      
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XENA

Xena gets a band of murderous cutthroats together to 
fight an evil warrior... and one of them is a cute 
blonde woman!
	"That one is a cruel murderer," said Xena, 
pointing one of them out. "That one is a vicious 
assassin.  The third one throttles people in their 
sleep."
	"And the cute blonde woman?" said Gabrielle. 
"What terrible things has she done?"
	"That one's the worst of all, Gabrielle, the 
cruelest battle ax you'll ever encounter," said Xena. 
"It's my ex-wife."

	Later, Gabrielle has some time alone with the 
ex-wife.
	"Why did you and Xena break up?"
	"She cheated on me," the ex-wife spat. "She was 
always out late, saving the world, she said. But I 
knew better."
	"Maybe she really was saving the world," said 
Gabrielle.
	"Really? Then why did she always come home with 
blonde hair in her scabbard and lipstick marks on her 
breastplate?"
	"You mean...."
	"Yes. Xena was two-timing me with Calisto!"
	"Well," said Gabrielle. "That was the old Xena. 
The new Xena would never do anything like that."
	"Really? Does Xena never leave you for a time, 
maybe to tell you that she has to take Argo for some 
new horseshoes, or something?"
	"No, never," said Gabrielle.
	Suddenly Xena walks up. "Gabrielle, I want you 
to stay here. I have to go into town to get some new 
horseshoes for Argo...."

*************
NEWSFLASH:
Gabrielle spills the beans about Xena's preferences!
	"Xena is most definitely not gay, despite the rumors,"
says Gabrielle. "And I'm her lover, so I'd definitely be
the one to know if she were."
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