SLK’S REVIEW

Here’s one of those silly, fun Xena romps that proves it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Although the show had been toying with a little zaniness here and there, with Xena doubles and the like, this is the first episode to dedicate an episode to slapstick adventuring (as opposed to the more earnest kind Herc did), like a spoof Indiana Jones movie, complete with dangerous relic box.

It also introduces us to Autolycus for the first time and he’s a wonderful breath of fresh air in the rogue department.  For a start he’s genuinely charming, rather than just thinking he is (although he does a bit of that too) and he’s a wild flirt, but refreshingly, never in a sleazy way. And he’s also smart – witty one-liners, cunning plans, a Batman-esque array of utility belt accessories, and most importantly, as he himself points out, he has the knowledge that “any good thief knows when to back off”. Autolycus might have meant that advice regarding his “work” but he also knows where the line is in the seduction department, unlike a large portion of the ruffians Xena generally has to sort out with the back of her fist.

It is a shame we didn’t see more of Gabrielle in this episode – Xena once again leaving her behind to prop up a bar for a while (next stop AA meetings, for sure), although I am sure Autolycus would have loved the idea of being accompanied by two concubines.

Speaking of Gabrielle, either the plot was cut or it never made sense in the first place, but how on earth did the bard wind up in the clutches of the real assassin? Even if everyone at port knew she was Xena’s travelling companion and thus ripe for a snatching, there would be no reason for Sinteres to take her as he wasn’t aware Xena was even involved in any of this. When Gabrielle blurts out Xena’s name when they all meet, the assassin is shocked.

So what happened? He just saw a passing redhead and thought, “aha, she’ll be good to test the weapon on?” In which case why did he threaten to kill her in front of the group of killers and thugs (pre-weapon test)  – as if they’d give a flying racoon if this young woman lived or died.

Gabrielle gave the most bizarre non-explanation ever “I’m sorry Xena, I had to do something…” So what exactly did she do? Tell the assassin she knew one of the relic-buying party and ask to be taken to them? That’s dumb even for season one Gabrielle. And it presumes she knew which assassin was which.

And what made her think she HAD to do something? How was she even aware that anything had gone badly awry (and by awry we can only mean Sinteres’ diabolical acting).

All in all, it shows the plot takes a backseat to the action - or the red hair dye is leaching.

I can’t go past the opening half of this episode without asking, what in Tartarus happened to Xena’s hair? Rough night on the road? Fight with feral squirrels? Argument with a wind tunnel? Then just when the sheer awfulness of that Amy Winehouse ’do was still registering, the next day in the tavern Xena’s hair manages to eclipse that nightmare with a full-blown pterodactyl nest.

I’d be wondering if she was storing her coin purse up there if it wasn’t for the fact this episode shows conclusive evidence that she deposits all coins down her cleavage like a piggy bank.

Xena must fairly rattle by the end of the day.

A nice moment in this episode is just the way Autolycus, on first meeting and just after being dunked by Xena, sprints off at a furious pace, dodging, weaving, flinging himself around corners in the village with the most colourful washing in Ancient Greece. Watch Xena *jogging* after him at a sedate pace, a feral grin dancing around her lips as though she’s already slowly, joyfully, planning some torments for the king of thieves when she catches up with him. It’s a really wonderful way to show the two characters – a fox and a cat. Wily speedster, and slinky predator. Love it.

Best scene of course, and a huge fan favourite, is the toothpick toss by Autolycus which appeared to take out a thug, while Xena in reality tugged him down, hidden while dangling from the side of the boat. But even better in my book is drowned-rat Xena reappearing after said dangle-athon to remind Autolycus at the dinner table how he’d left something hanging on the line.

That woman can do things with her eyes that would shrivel small furry animals.

But even when she’s been tossed overboard to drown, left swinging on the side of the boat, humiliated in an outfit designed to make her appear a subordinate sex object (if she doesn’t freeze to death first), and then ordered to feed her ‘man’ grapes, Xena still holds the power. You can see it in those flashing eyes and the high noon way she plants those very angry boots. Lucy is an impressive actress and it’s times like these – even in a silly little romp – that she shows it, often in unexpected moments. This was well worth a rewind for.

Autolycus at least has the sense to look slightly chagrined here, even as he then tried to push his luck again. That Xena even allows him these little moments of chauvinism in the guise of being her master shows she genuinely likes him (to a limit) – after all, any other stupid, ugly meathead thug would have been shown the fish-cutting side of her chakram long before this.

A cute highlight in this episode was Gabrielle asking if Autolycus had received a ring as a gift only to be told, quick as a flash “You’re so young”. In the hands of less comedic actors it’d fall flat. Between those two it was funny and deftly acted without hamming it up. Subtlety and Xena don’t tend to go hand in hand too often, but when it’s there, hey, you have to applaud it.

The downside is that the object of their discussion, that knuckle-duster ring, is revisited at the end of the show, with Gabrielle stealing it from Autolycus. I don’t think a fan anywhere in the world would have thought that was in keeping with Gabrielle’s character. Stealing goods that are already stolen doesn’t make it less of a criminal act. Mercifully they never returned to that little peccadillo or it would be a very strange show, with Xena stopping by to see her little kleptomaniac bard in jail every other week between visiting hours.

On the flip side I also thought it was uncharacteristic of Autolycus to give the gold back to the villagers – and I think it was done to make him, as a new character, more appealing to the fans, and to explain also why Xena and Gabrielle would have a friendship with a proudly-criminal criminal. 

But I would argue had this episode not been the first he’d been in they would have had him keep the money. After all the King of Thieves would not be “king” for long with a huge empathic streak. A deal was a deal, and Xena seemed to think there was nothing unethical about it, and although she did drop hints as to the villagers’ poverty she did not seem to think there was a problem if he’d taken the loot. We already knew he was a rogue, and to me it would have been more believable if he’d pocketed the loot cheerily.

Which led to one other thing – by Autolycus not taking the dough, indeed donating it, we have a bizarre situation of discovering, just as the closing credits roll, that Gabrielle is a worse thief than Autolycus. Ho boy.

Meanwhile, we learn in this ep another of Xena’s many many skills – she can walk the tightrope. I am not going to even begin to wonder where she picked this up from while sacking and pillaging ancient everywhere with her army of 12 extras.

And her other new talent? Dancing. Now this I could believe since the first incarnation of Xena we meet is a seductress, as Hercules and Iolus can attest. I was pretty impressed at how well she did, especially given Lucy tells everyone she was known as unco (unco-ordinated) at school for her two-left feet and general clutziness.

Of course Xena never just does regular dancing – nope, the big WP likes to “value add”. This was likely the first dance of the veils that involved the neck pinch and a big fruit smear as the finale.

Weirdest quibble for the episode – aside from the magic disappearing and reappearing Gabrielle (she does that again, too, reappearing in the cave for the weapons test, which Xena doesn’t seem to think is odd in the least) – check out Xena’s outfit.

Now bear in mind Xena’s undercover. So she wears her civvy clothes all episode long while she’s with Autolycus … except at one moment when she’s creeping around the castle ready to steal the relic box, and then she’s suddenly in her leathers – minus the armour. Now this new look would have been very hard to explain if they bump into anyone – “Hey - you look just like the warrior princess in that outfit – Oh my god, it IS you…”

But by next scene, which takes place moments afterwards, she’s back into concubine chic again. What the…?

But all these quibbles are not really overpowering. In the final analysis, this isn’t an episode to over think. It’s simple, silly, fun and funny. Most of this can be sheeted home to casting, and the fact Lucy and Renee, clearly enjoy a good chemistry, repartee and comedic timing with Bruce Campbell. Loveable rogues are always best when they are actually loveable, so on this score the Xena mob has done a beautiful job at hiring the best.

Subtext is nil but given overt man-of-the-moment swooning is nil too - we’ll call it a draw. On the downside, Autolycus going on about Hercules and whether he did or didn’t bed Xena was getting a bit wearying and had no real point. Was it to remind us the other show existed? An attempt at romantic continuity?

And lastly, writing and costuming gets a nod – Autolycus is helped by more than a few witty rejoinders, while the fabled NZ “frock tarts” excelled themselves.

In all the episode is a not-too-taxing enjoyable bit of bubblegum fun for the brain. Serve with popcorn.