Disclaimer: No scorpions were harmed during the production of this story. However, the whip flicked a moth or two into oblivion.
Love/Sex: It's certainly mentioned. They're lesbians. If that don't float your boat, paddle back to shore.
Thank you: To Carrie Carr, who so lovingly allowed me to play with her Lex and Amanda series. I knew there was a reason I love you!
Lust's Journey - The Spoof
By Carrie's AJ
The tall dark-haired woman stopped what she was doing with the fence post when she saw the blue Mustang crash into the raging waters. "Damn!" She kissed the image of the woman's face that she'd painted on the post and promised it, "I'll get back to you later." Then she picked a splinter out of her lip and dove into the icy, swirling waters of the creek that was carrying away the remnants of the covered bridge and the 1967 Mustang along with the other debris from it's rampage through the normally dry Texas countryside.
She worked her way to the car and managed to pull a barely conscious woman out of the front seat and back through the back window that had been busted open by a large branch as it had passed by. She wrapped the woman around her back and tied a rope around the both of them and pulled herself back toward the riverbank.
"Don't forget the whip!" a weary voice whispered in her ear.
The tall, dark-haired woman dropped the other woman on the riverbank and dove back into the water. A few moments later, she emerged from the river and held up the whip for the other woman to see.
"Thanks! Paid a lot for that whip, and leather shops in these parts are more into saddles than riding crops and whips. Hi, I'm Demanda." The woman who had been lying on the riverbank propped herself up on one elbow and held her other hand out to the taller woman who had just plopped down at her side.
"I beg your pardon?" the smaller woman asked.
"Letch. Letch Waters."
"Oh, I thought you were calling me names," Demanda replied.
"Listen, it's raining cats and dogs out here, and even though I enjoy the idea of getting wetter with you, this is not the picture that I have in my mind." The dark-haired woman stood and offered to pull the smaller, blond woman up.
The blonde stood and pulled the wig she'd been wearing off of her head. "Damn thing got soaked and it's starting to shrivel up." Underneath the wig, the blonde was really a brunette.
Well, at least her eyes are still green. That's something. The taller, dark-haired woman thought.
They stumbled back to the main house on the "If you see it Rocking, Don't come a knockin' W Ranch". It took a couple of hours of slipping and sliding and feeling each other up to make their way back to the house where Letch had grown up and still lived.
They were greeted at the door by Letch's housekeeper, who met her employer with a knowing smile. After simple introductions, Letch inquired whether the guest room was ready.
"As usual," the housekeeper replied, raising her eyebrows in a manner that said, "Great gimmick, the collapsing bridge. Third time this month she's nabbed someone."
Letch began kicking off her boots before helping the younger woman upstairs.
"Wait a second! How do you know I'm a younger woman?" the blonde, er, make that brunette demanded.
"You're shorter than me, that's why." Then Letch tugged the last boot free and stood up.
"Lifts? You wear lifts in your boots? Then you're not taller than me by much!" Demanda snorted.
"How come you snort?"
"Don't ask. And weren't your eyes blue when you rescued me?"
"Oops! Contacts must of fallen out that last time we stopped to, you know."
"That's okay. I'm kind of partial to brown eyes. So, how about trying out that whip? I hear they're really stingy when they're wet." Demanda nodded towards the stairs and patted the other woman on the butt."
"Stop that!" the housekeeper shouted.
"Oops! Sorry! Bad aim."
"Hunh!" the housekeeper said. "I'm not that kind of domestic help! I'd take a wooden spoon to your backside, but if you're anything like Letch, you'd enjoy it too much!"
Letch's mind filled with old memories and she smiled. Then she grabbed Demanda's hand and tugged her toward the stairs. Then she asked, "Top or bottom?"
"Hmmm...I could get used to being the bottom!"
"Wait. I just thought of something. You know what 's going to happen if we do this."
"Sure, I know. Your parents will object, although your dad and I will eventually form a grudging respect for each other. Your psycho mom that's screwing the pool boy, even as we speak, will go completely off her nut and try to kill us. My sick, twisted, ass-hole of a brother will put out a contract on us and end up speaking through a mass of broken teeth and then face a prison sentence, and we'll end up having to build a new house when your mother, Cruella de Cauble, burns this place down. And it will positively kill my dad. Did I leave off anything?"
"I think that about covers it. So...you game?" Demanda started to unbutton her shirt.
"Not in front of the housekeeper! The sheriff has had his eye on her for years, and I'd feel really bad for Uncle Charlie if Martha switched teams right now. And, you, hot stuff, are tempting enough to do that."
Demanda grabbed Letch's hand and they climbed the stairs two at a time in their haste to get to the guest room. When Letch opened the door, Demanda stepped into the room of her dreams. It was furnished with everything her heart and libido could desire.
A night of frenzied passion ensued, leaving Letch singing happily to Demanda: "You're the top! You're the top banana!"
"Banana? That's something we haven't used yet!" Demanda had a thoughtful look on her face. "Oh, but I guess the summer squash was just as good."
"Yeah! Loved the squash! How about next time, you get to be the naive farmgirl and I get to be the traveling salesperson?"
"Works for me!" Demanda happily replied.
And they did live happily ever after, through thick and thin, sequels, spinoffs, and missed publishing dates.