She grabbed her head in her hands, hoping to still the argument she was losing with herself.

The pilot who had been summoned didn’t say a word, but merely waited while his passenger collected her belongings from the hotel room and rejoined him. He did silently wonder what caused the tears that slid down her face, but even as he wondered, he saw her wipe them away. He looked away, respecting her privacy. The next time he looked back, to announce their landing, her face was a stoic mask.

Randi went into the house only briefly to take care of her armor and equipment. It was a habit so ingrained, she didn’t even think about it. But when she was finished, and the house was silent, a heavy depression settled on her shoulders.

"Why’d you run away, warrior babe?" The love goddess sounded... almost disappointed. "You didn’t even give her a chance."

The Marine became immediately defensive. "I’m giving her a chance now, Aphrodite. She’s all over the place. Doesn’t know what she wants. I’m giving her some space to put things in perspective."

"No, you’re hiding... running away from her feelings and yours."

"NO! She has no feelings for me anymore, remember? We’re ‘just friends’." The pain in her voice resonated through the sarcasm.

"Did you hear a thing I said to you yesterday?? Were you listening at all?" Randi tilted up her head, looking at Aphrodite through confused, grief-filled eyes. It was then that the goddess noticed the scarring still on Randi’s face. "What happened to you?" She touched the rough skin, pulling back instantly when the Marine flinched at her gentle touch.

"It’s nothing," the warrior mumbled. "Please, Dite. Just leave me in peace for a while. Please."

The blonde stood looking at her for a long moment, before lightly touching the bowed head. She frowned in thought, and with a soft kiss to the scar, disappeared. The Sabre fell almost immediately into a deep, troubled sleep.

"What happened, little girl? I thought ya’ll were gonna work things out." This from Jill. Geoff was still in the regen unit, and was once again sleeping. The doctor was cautiously optimistic now about his regaining use of his entire upper body. His responses had all been normal, and they were waiting for him to wake up to give him a more thorough testing.

"We were, Mama. We are. She just... I dunno. Maybe she needs a little space." Her eyes went distant, and her hand impulsively grasped the chain around her neck. "I remember...." A sharp pain lanced through her head, and drew a gasp from deep in her chest. Jill immediately took her arm, and ushered her to a chair.

"You all right, Gwen?"

"Yes, Mother. Thank you. I just get this pain in my head sometimes."

The woman looked at her daughter strangely. "Really? When did this start?"

"I’m not sure. Fairly recently?" A pause. "I dunno. It just bothers me when I try to remember sometimes."

"That’s odd. Maybe we should get you seen for that also." It was then that her eyes were drawn to the bard’s naked fingers, and she wondered where her ring was. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask, but she stopped, knowing a better opportunity would present itself later. "What were you gonna say you remembered, dear?"

"I remember, she’s gone away and come back before and needed some space. If what she went through before was anything like what I saw...." Gwen shuddered involuntarily in reaction. "Mama, it was so horrible. And she was so cold, so... it didn’t matter to her that he was a human being." She swallowed. "I think she feels she loses her humanity when she goes out on these trips. Not that I can disagree right now, but maybe she needs the space to recover it. So she’s comfortable in her own skin again."

"Do you really think so, daughter? Or are you trying to justify staying away from her now? You remember what your father told you last night."

"Yes, Mama, I do. There were times she’d go away before... Mama, I remember the first time she disappeared for weeks when I first worked at Midas. We were just becoming friends...."

It became still in the room, save for the quiet sounds of machinery running in the background while the bard got lost in her memories of the past. Jill noted that once again Gwen’s hand reached for her chain, and stayed there, until the woman put a hand on her daughter’s knee. "Gwen?"

"Hmm? Oh, I was telling you about Randi. She was gone... no word, no warning, no explanation. For three weeks, she simply up and disappeared. When she came home, she avoided me for a while. She avoided everybody. It took her a long time to open up again. I think she would probably like a bit of privacy to regroup from... this."

The blonde put her hand back to her chest, and her head fell forward. Her voice became the merest whisper, and Jill saw two tears hit the shiny floor before she heard a word spoken. "I think I need a bit of privacy to regroup as well."

The mother understood both the spoken and unspoken words, and with a comforting squeeze to Gwen’s shoulder, she rose and moved back to her husband’s side. The bard sat until her vision cleared, then without another word, left the chamber in search of some fresh air and solitude.

Tommy was thrilled to hear the shuttle set down, and take off again almost immediately. That meant Randi was home, and that only meant good news. He was quite certain she’d been telling the truth about not coming back without Gwen, and until he heard the shuttle, that had, quite frankly, scared him. He had no desire to lose her again. And he knew without the bard, that was a real possibility.

So he picked up his son, kissed his wife goodbye, and headed across the island to see his best friend. His happy steps slowed when he saw her sitting at the deck table, staring out at nothing, alone. She held a bottle of whiskey loosely in her hands, and he stood in silence for a moment simply watching her. He couldn’t be sure, but he though he saw tracks of tears on her face, but it was nearly impossible to be sure.

"WUV!" Randall’s voice rang out to disturb the quiet, and he watched as she surreptitiously brushed a hand across her eyes before waving them over.

"Hey there, boy!" Randall leapt into her arms, and she hugged him tight til he squirmed. She sat down with him, keeping her attention focused on him for the moment. He wouldn’t ask probing questions, or so she thought.

The child played with her hair, and patted her cheeks, chattering at her a mile a minute. The Marine tried hard not to flinch when he hit the scar, and mostly succeeded. She nodded and answered him back as best she could. After a few minutes, though, he took her face in his small hands and looked her squarely in the eye. She found the intenseness of his focus a bit daunting coming from one so young, but she met him stare for stare.

"Wuv, where’s Wen? Want tory."

That almost broke her. She took a deep breath, keeping her gaze on Randall, though she was intently aware of Tommy’s scrutiny. She took a deep breath and finally looked at Tommy. "Her daddy got hurt really badly, and she needed to stay with her folks for a few days."

"Is he gonna be okay?" Concern radiated from Tommy.

"They don’t know," on a shaky breath. "It doesn’t look good for his being able to walk again."

"So what are you doing here? Why aren’t you there with her, supporting them?" A bit of accusation in his tone.

"It’s long and drawn out, Tommy. Let’s just say this is the best place for me to be right now, and leave it at that."

"Why don’t you draw it out for me?"

"Because it’s none of your goddamn business!! Now let it alone!"

He got up and stormed off, leaving Randall in her arms. He knew she would take care of the boy, and he sensed instinctively she needed that connection right now. He just had to get some space.

He walked a little, out of her sight, but not out of hearing. Something terrible had happened this time out, and he’d bet his last credit it had everything to do with Gwen. He sent up a prayer for them. It was time they got a little peace together. He was just making his way back, when he heard the whispered conversation between his son and Randi.

"Wuv?"

"Hmm?"

"Miss Wen. Wuv her."

"I know, buddy." She hugged the toddler tightly. "Me too."

He watched as she got up, and moved the two of them to the hammock. Randall wiggled around for a few moments, until Tommy heard a low hum coming from the Sabre. The boy lay his head down on her chest, sighing in contentment. The sound of her voice, and the sway of the swing lulled him to sleep, and it wasn’t long before his comforting presence beckoned the Marine to join him. Tommy waited until he was sure she was asleep, before he took up a sentinel’s post at the table to keep watch over them.

He wondered, as he watched his two special people sleep, what had happened to make Randi cry. And he speculated why Randi was not with Gwen. None of the conclusions he reached were good. He would contact Jill later. He was fairly sure he could get to the truth. Maybe there would be something he could do to help.

Gwen found a small gate at the back of the garden that led to a tiny stream. The light danced across the ripples of water, creating sparkles in the reflected sunlight. She took a seat near the edge, entranced by the sight and sounds the surrounded her. The bard let her mind drift, finding comfort in not having to focus, or think, or feel. For right now, in this moment, she was content to simply be. There would be time later to think and feel and analyze.

She felt her battered soul being soothed, and closed her eyes in contentment. She found her mind wandering to the meditation techniques Randi had taught her, and she concentrated on letting herself float away in them.

Unbidden, a picture of Randi standing naked before her flashed in front of her, and the green eyes opened abruptly. What the hell?? Where did that come from?? She concentrated on slowing her suddenly rapid heartbeat, the tightening in her groin making her shift uncomfortably. What is wrong with me? This is Randi... my best friend. But she couldn’t stop the image from reoccurring, nor the flood of warmth it caused.

The bard was so intent on trying to banish these disturbing thoughts, that she didn’t hear the footsteps approach her from behind. She squealed and jumped when a large hand came down gently on her shoulder. Her eyes opened, and Tiny looked back at her in concern. Gwen’s face flushed in embarrassment. She knew the big man couldn’t see her thoughts, but nevertheless....

He arched an eyebrow at her quizzically, wondering what he’d missed. Something was going on, that much was certain. Randi had stopped by very briefly on her way out, and asked him to keep an eye on the younger woman. He’s been happy to agree, though more than a little intrigued on why it would be necessary. The two of them hadn’t been apart for more than a few minutes at a time since Randi’s return from the dead, up until the kidnapping. What could have changed between them in those few short days that they are now so far apart by choice?

"You okay, Gwen?"

She swallowed, and took a deep breath, thankful to have something else to focus on. "Yes, Tiny, thanks for asking. How’s Reed?"

He smiled. "Better. Better than we had a right to expect at this point, actually. If her progress continues steadily, we will be home before the weekend. We’ll be there when Ditto has her puppies."

"Oh, that’s right!" slapping her forehead. "I’d forgotten all about that."

"Well, things have been kinda hectic for you lately. How’s your dad?"

"He was sleeping the last time I saw him, but I got to speak to him earlier. His recovery is gonna be slow. He does have the use of most of his upper body, and they are saying he will fully recover his range of motion. The rest though," she shook her head sadly. "That will be up to him, but they’re not holding out much hope."

Tiny clasped his hands around one upraised knee, and looked thoughtfully across the water. "The mind is a powerful tool, Gwen. I’ve seen people do things they shouldn’t be able to do, because they made up their minds to do so. Don’t discount the human will. If Geoff wants it badly enough, there’s no telling what he can accomplish."

It was quiet for a while then, with Gwen digesting the man’s words, and trying to find a tactful way to ask a question that had been haunting her. Finally, she decided blunt was best.

"Tiny, have you ever killed anyone?"

The large Sabre looked directly in her eyes, and she flinched involuntarily at the pain she found gazing back at her. So this is the problem, eh? Well, let me see if I can help make this better. I owe Randi that much at least. He cleared his throat. "Yes, I have. Many times." He swallowed, and returned his gaze to the water. "And it never gets easier." He paused, and the blonde woman waited, sensing he had more to say. "Even when it’s justified, even when it’s the right thing to do, it’s a very difficult thing to live with... a terrible burden to bear."

"Then why do it? Isn’t everyone entitled to live?"

"Oh, if only it were that simple, my friend." He hesitated, and looked at her briefly. He saw her honest confusion, and tried to answer the unspoken question. "Do you remember a talk we had a few months ago, about what the Sabres are?"

Blonde brows furrowed, and she concentrated. "I think so." She rubbed her forehead. "I’m not sure. You wanna refresh my memory?"

He looked at her curiously, then patiently explained again about the Sabres, their purpose, and their mission. She sat listening to him thoughtfully, trying to put together the pieces. "It’s not a life any of us would have chosen, Gwen, given the choice, but it is a duty we do our best to fulfill with honor. As ugly as the job is, the world needs us, to keep the peace. To keep millions of innocents safe from the thousands who would do them harm."

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Parts of it, yes," he answered honestly. "But most of it, no. It is very trying, and even more so for Randi, I think."

The bard cocked her head inquisitively. "Why do you say that?"

"I have Reed, and even though we can’t always discuss the details of our missions with one another, we each understand what it is like. We know what the other is going through. Randi, well, she never had anyone to share that side of her with. And she’s always been the best, Gwen. She’s always gotten stuck with the hard jobs."

"So why does she go away from people? Why doesn’t she share that with someone? Let someone help her bear that burden?" Gwen was starting to see things in a little different light.

"It’s not who she is, Gwen. You know that. She would never consciously ask someone, anyone, to take on the weight of her life as a Sabre." He looked the woman squarely in the eyes. "You will have to offer to share the load, and coax her until she is willing and able to share with you. But you will have to be the one to take the first step. She would never ask you to bear what she considers to be an unforgivable past."

He rose then, turning back toward the building. He stopped when he reached the gate. "Think about it Gwen. She needs you and your faith in her, but you have to be willing to share her darkness as well as her light."

Oh, my friend. I hope that helped. I don’t understand everything that is going on here, but I know ya’ll need to get through this together. He thought about his lover who had cried stinging tears just before she’d sent him to look for the bard. "Go to her, Tiny. There’s something not right between them, and it needs to be fixed." He could only hope his words would be enough.

Gwen sat for a few more minutes, thinking over the man’s words. The truth in them hurt her, especially for Randi’s sake. So much pain, my friend. So much for you to bear. Will you share with me if I ask you to? Can I accept the darkness? Would you be willing to let me help you? It was a while before her mind stopped whirling with questions, and she got up to go talk to her father.

Geoff was glad to be awake. He felt as though he had slept for days. The doctor was pleased with his progress so far, at least as far as his upper body was concerned. He was able to sit on his own, and the fact that he could hug his wife completely was a blessing he was thrilled to experience again. They sat cuddled together quietly, having emerged from the regen chamber for a while. Though they all knew he would have to go back in, the doctor was glad to give him a break, knowing he needed a bit of quality time with his family.

"How do you feel, love?" Jill stroked her hands through his short-cropped hair.

"Like I got hit in the back with a mace," he quipped lightly. She looked at him seriously. "I’ve been better, sweetheart, but I’ve also been worse." He hugged her to him tightly. "We’ll get through this."

She sighed and squeezed him back. "Yeah, we will. I just hope Gwen and Randi will."

He pushed her back away from him slightly, so he could look into her eyes. "Why? What happened?"

"Do you know.... Wait. Let me start from the beginning. I don’t want to confuse the issue any more than it already is. You know Ben was the kidnapper, correct?" He nodded. "And I guess you know the story behind it."

"Um hmm. At least I think so."

She sighed. "Long story short... apparently he is tied in to someone who died when Randi did, and he blamed Randi for this person’s death. He took Gwen in retaliation. What you don’t know is that he somehow managed to make Gwen forget about her love for Randi. As far as she is concerned, they are simply best friends."

"Oh damn! Not again."

"Uh huh. Aphrodite told Randi to keep the faith, but she’s struggling with it right now." A beat. "Gwen watched her gut Ben."

"Oh no."

"Oh yes. And she’s gone back home, and left Gwen here. I don’t know if it was self defense or a desire to give Gwen some space." She paused. "I think maybe it was a little bit of both. But we’ve got to do something, Geoff. Those two kids belong together."

"Let’s play it by ear, hon. We’ll do what we can. For now though," he motioned toward the door where their daughter stood hesitating, not wanting to intrude. "Let’s see what’s on her mind." He waved the bard in.

"I’ll tell you what... I’m gonna give the two of you a little privacy to talk in. I need to go back to the hotel, shower and change. Besides, I’m betting she’ll open up to you better if it’s just the two of you alone."

He smiled at her, as the bard approached the bed. "I love you, Mrs. Goldman. Don’t take too long."

"I love you, Mr. Goldman. I’ll be back shortly." She kissed her husband soundly, squealing when he pinched her firmly on the behind. She turned to her daughter. "Thanks for keeping an eye on your old man for me, little girl. I never know what kind of trouble he will get into when my back is turned." She gave Gwen a peck, and walked out the door.

The weapons smith patted the bed, thankful again for the time away from the regen chamber. "What’s up, Gwen?" going right for the heart of the matter. "You look disturbed."

She looked at him a long time before she looked away, realizing that he too must share the service bond that Randi, Reed and Tiny did. "Daddy, have you ever killed someone?"

Whatever he had been expecting, it hadn’t been this. This came from out of nowhere and blindsided him. Of all the discussions in the world, this was one of the few he had never thought he’d ever have to have with her. While these thoughts were running through his head, he realized he was gonna have to share a lot of this with Jill as well. It was time she understood what he had been... what Randi was.

His answer was clearly written on his face before he spoke, and Gwen turned away a bit at the knowledge.

"Does it change the way you feel about me, Gwen?" he asked sadly. "I am still the same person I’ve always been."

"It doesn’t change the way I *feel* about you, I don’t think, but it does change my *view* of you. It’s probably not very fair of me, but there it is. It’s the truth."

He reached for her hand, pleased when she didn’t pull away from him. "Let me tell you something, Gwen. This is something I’ve found to be true throughout the entire Sabre unit. No one... NO ONE would have chosen this duty as a way of life. But there always has to be someone who stands between the innocent, and those who would defile them. The Sabres are the first line of defense, and not one of us would hesitate to kill to protect our loved ones, and our way of life."

"Now Ben did some horrible things. I don’t know the whole story of why he turned, but I do know he was a threat, and had caused hundreds, maybe even thousands, to die. Now Randi’s reasons for gutting him were as much personal as they were military. But you can bet your last credit, that any member of this team would have done the same thing."

"Even you?"

"Especially me. He had to be eliminated. The fact that he took you, and threatened you simply gave Randi first shot. He had no hope of coming out of there alive, and he knew it."

"But why, Daddy? What do you all, does she, get out of killing?" Tears welled up in her eyes, and clung to her lashes. He smiled sadly in sympathy with the confusion he saw shining so brightly through the pain.

"Oh, baby girl. She has lived with guilt and grief and self-loathing since becoming a trained killer. She has learned to hide away parts of her for fear she can’t be loved. The only thing she gets from killing is a heavier burden to bear. Do not judge her too harshly, daughter. She is hard enough on herself."

"I don’t want to judge her, Daddy. I want to understand, but every time I close my eyes, and see her running that blade into him...."

He nodded. "Would you be willing to talk to the doctor here, Gwen? Dr. Litzer is a Sabre, has talked to most of us, and understands not only what we do, but also how we feel. Perhaps he could help you. He’ll be glad to listen, and if you want, he can even try to explain."

She hesitated, and he continued. "I know it sounds awkward and uncomfortable, but it may help." He paused again. "It certainly can’t hurt." She nodded slowly in agreement then, and he squeezed her hands. "Good girl. Let’s get him in here."

When Jill returned from her outing, Jerry was sitting with Geoff, and Gwen was nowhere to be seen. She raised an eyebrow in question, and her husband simply lifted a hand, inviting her to join him on the bed. "Jerry was kind enough to come keep me company while Gwen talked to the doctor. Actually, he was bringing me up to speed on everything."

The Commandant rose from his place. "I don’t want to intrude, so I’ll leave you two alone. You get to work on walking, my friend. I expect to see you up and about soon."

"Is that an order, sir?" with a slight twinkle in his eyes.

"It can be, sailor... just remember that," said with a smile. "Now, I need to get back to work, but I’ll be back to check on you."

"Thanks, Jerry." Jill sat quietly, marveling at the weapons smith’s capacity for forgiveness.

"No, thank you, Geoff. This mission was so costly... so... needless...." He trailed off, unsure of what to say. "So, thank you, my friend." And he walked out slowly, mindful of his newly healed leg.

The Goldmans sat for a long moment, both staring at the empty doorway where Jerry had made good his exit. Then simultaneously, they turned and looked at one another.

"Well, that was... interesting," Jill commented.

The weapons smith looked thoughtful. "C’mere." Jill slid obligingly into his waiting embrace, sighing in contentment when his strong arms closed around her. He let the surrounding peace permeate his senses, until his soul became saturated with the warmth of it. "You haven’t asked any questions about all this... about the things you have seen and heard here."

"No."

"Why? Don’t you want to know?"

She sat up a little at this, pulling away from him to look him in the eyes. "Geoff, from the little bit I have learned in the two days I have been here, it is obvious this was, at some point, a part of your life. A part that I have never been privy to. If you want to share with me, I would be honored. And if you can’t, well... I have learned there are some things I can live with without ever understanding. I have you back in my arms again, and that is more than enough for me right now."

He pulled her back into his embrace, kissing her hard and long. When they drew back, slightly breathless, he gazed into her eyes. "I love you, Jill. Let me tell you the story of the Black Sabres."

Randi didn’t doze very long. The weight in her arms was wrong, and it brought her out of the light haze she had fallen into. She smiled a little crooked grin at the boy she cradled, picking up a fist that curled reflexively around her own. She listened, hearing Tommy nearby.

She let the child fall into a deeper sleep, then carefully stood and put him in his father’s arms. "Go home, Tommy. I’ve got things to do."

He hesitated, but the look in her eyes was serious. He nodded, and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Just remember we all love you, okay? Take care of yourself." He walked off without a backwards glance, knowing what he would hear.

He hadn’t crossed into the treed area between the two properties, before he heard the sound of the motorcycle engine. Always before, when she was disturbed, she’d taken the bike out and let the sound run full throttle. He’d suspected this time would be no different, and he grimaced in self-knowledge. He turned and watched as she sped off recklessly toward the bridge.

Tommy shook his head. He needed to find out what was really going on.

Gwen walked in to the doctor’s office, looking around at the various hologrids he had hanging there. He had an entire wall full of old-fashioned, paper filled books, and these were what caught her attention and held her imagination. She didn’t understand the titles to most of them, but there were a couple rows that seemed to be nothing but fictional tales, and biographies. The rest of the space was quite comfortable, tending more toward the technical functionality of the present.

She chose a chair, only then noting that the doctor sat comfortably at his desk, his eyes following her with twinkling amusement. "Oh!"

"They capture everyone’s attention. It is one of the reasons I have them. Nobody can resist a look, even those of us who still use paper and maintain handwriting as a skill."

"Where did you get so many? Are they all real?"

"Oh, yes. They are quite real. I am quite a collector, though a lot of these were in the family, and survived the war."

"Do you read them? They look to be well read, but also well cared for."

"I have indeed read quite a few of them. It is more soothing when the words aren’t moving for you, for some reason."

"I know. Randi has shared some of her books with me. I find it much slower going, of course, but it is more relaxing."

The bard grew quiet at the mention of her friend, and the doctor patiently waited. He hadn’t been told what the problem was, or why the bard needed to talk, but for now, he was content to wait her out and listen. Then he would see what he could do for her.

"Dr. Litzer, are you really a Black Sabre? Have you really had to do what it seems all these others have done?"

"I really am a Black Sabre, yes, but I’m not sure I understand what you are asking, Ms. Goldman. What is it you would like to know?"

She swallowed, and closed her eyes, once again faced with the image of Randi’s dagger sliding so easily into Ben’s torso. "The killing, doctor. Have you had to kill as well?"

The sadness in his eyes was its own answer, and she closed her eyes again in acknowledgement. "Why? How do you all bear it so easily?"

"I never said it was easy, Gwen. It is the most difficult thing any of us live with. But it is also a necessary evil." He paused. "I want you to think about something, and I want you to be honest with yourself. You don’t have to reach a decision today, but I will ask you about it again soon, all right?"

She looked at him warily, then decided he was being up front with her. Besides, it wasn’t like she had to come back if she didn’t like his question. She nodded her agreement.

"Close your eyes. I want you to picture in your mind someone who means a lot to you... parent, best friend, significant other... the most special person in your life." An image of Randi smiling at her made her smile unconsciously, and the doctor wondered who the lucky bastard was that brought that expression to her lovely visage. He cleared his throat and continued. "Do you have them firmly in your mind?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"All right then, Gwen. I want you to think, to seriously consider, and then to decide what you would be willing to endure for that person. Don’t answer now. I want you to honestly and openly think about it. And when you find your answer, you come back, and we’ll talk some more."

Slowly, the green eyes opened, and refocused. "Thank you, doctor. You’ve given me quite a lot to consider." She got up, and left, deciding to head back to the hotel. She hadn’t done anything but think all day, and though it was just sunset, she was exhausted. Some dinner, and a good night’s sleep seemed to be in order.

She stopped by her father’s room on the way out, and kissed him goodnight. He was due back in the regen chamber shortly, and then Jill would be joining her at the hotel. She left the two of them wrapped up in the serenity they found in being together, and the bard cast a wishful thought heavenward to find that for herself one day. Then she was arriving at the hotel, and her only thought was of a warm bath and dinner.

Randi rode for a long while with no particular destination in mind. The sound of the engine drowned out everything else, including her thoughts. By unintentional design, she found herself speeding down the road that she and the bard regularly took on their Saturday morning rides. The scent of barbeque wafting in the clear air made her stomach rumble, and she realized how long it had been since she had eaten.

Rosie came out to greet her, looking around deliberately when she saw Gwen was nowhere to be found. Her questioning eyes came back to meet Randi’s.

"Her father was terribly injured. She’s helping her mom out a bit while they try to get him back on his feet."

"I see. And you’re not with her because...."

"It’s a family matter. There really isn’t a place for me there. And I had stuff here that had to be taken care of." She bit her lip. She couldn’t say any more, for fear of either bursting into tears, or flying into a rage. The older woman’s sharp eyes missed little though, and she accepted the Sabre’s words without questioning. It wasn’t her place, at this point and time, anyway.

"Well, c’mon in. You can share dinner with an old woman."

Randi made to protest, and then thought better of it. Why not? She’s a lonely woman who wants a bit of company. It won’t kill me. Besides, she’s always been kind to Gwen and me. It won’t hurt to repay the kindness.

She took a deep breath and followed Rosie inside.

Their talk was light and general. Rosie kept the conversation rolling, telling Randi about her family, and the latest exploits of her grandchild. The Marine listened politely, even adding occasional commentary. The hour passed pleasantly, and it was only when Randi stood to go that the old woman asked the question that had been bothering her.

"What happened to your face, hon?"

The Sabre turned away reflexively, becoming more self-conscious about the scarring with every inquiry. In a society where deformity was unheard of, it was difficult to suddenly be in the possession of one.

"Cut," she answered briefly.

"And you haven’t been to regen.... ?"

"Yes, I have. It won’t," briskly. "Look, I appreciate lunch. But I gotta go." She was on the bike and gone before Rosie had processed all her words. The old woman stood looking after her for a long time. Then, tapping her fingers on her lips in thought, she turned and headed back into her cottage. "Oh, Athena," she prayed aloud, "Let me be wrong about this, please."

"Honey, are you sure you don’t mind?" Jill and Gwen were having breakfast together. The bard’s long soak the night before had become a very short bath, and she had fallen into bed without the benefit of dinner first. Her exhaustion had taken precedence, but now her hunger was coming to the fore. The mother just watched in amazement as her daughter continued to devour her breakfast. "Were you starving, dear?"

Gwen nodded and swallowed. "Pretty much. And no, Mother, I don’t mind." She took a sip of juice and cleared her throat. "You go find a place for you and Daddy. I’ll go home and pack up your stuff."

The doctor had come in before Jill had left Geoff’s side the previous evening, and they had spent a bit of time going over treatment possibilities. The one that looked most promising was quite drawn out, and would require at least a temporary move to the capital city. So now Jill was going to find a place for them to live. Gwen had offered to travel back up north to retrieve enough of their things to make them comfortable during their stay.

"I’d really appreciate it, dear. I’ll tell you what... I’ll make you a list of what I need and where it is. You should be able to get it done, and be back here in a day or two."

The blonde nodded her agreement again, and swallowed her last morsel of food. "While you’re doing that, I’m gonna go say goodbye to Reed and Tiny. They should be headed back home before I get back here."

"All right. I’ll meet you there then."

Gwen got up and kissed her mother absently, then went to the medifac.

It was quiet when she stepped inside the small building. The few staff members seemed to be elsewhere at the moment, and a peek at her father showed him back in the regen chamber, soundly asleep. She looked around for Tiny and Reed, hoping she hadn’t missed them. Chance took her out to the garden, and she saw them sitting contentedly wrapped up in one another’s arms. It sparked a longing within her, but she pushed it aside.

"Hey, guys! How ya doing?"

Two heads turned in her direction at the sound of her voice, and both smiled a welcome. Tiny wondered at the flinch he felt tremble through his partner’s body as the bard neared them. He looked down in concern, but she didn’t say a word. He knew it would be up for discussion later.

"Better," he answered for both of them. "We are waiting for the doctor to give us the go ahead, and then we are out of here." He smiled. "We’ve gotta get home before those puppies arrive."

The bard smiled back. "I had forgotten all about that. Is it still okay for me to come out for the birth?"

Reed nodded. "Of course. Ditto would never forgive any of us if you weren’t there."

Gwen looked squarely at the breeder now. She could see the newly healed tissue in and around her eyes. "How are your eyes, Reed?"

The woman shrugged. "Sensitive, but much better. They still have some healing to do, but they are going to be fine."

"I’m glad." The bard sighed. "I am so sorry you...."

"Enough. I was glad we could be there, for you and for Randi. And they will heal fine. How is your dad?"

"Better. Taking it one day at a time. They are going to try a new treatment therapy on him. It is still gonna be a difficult road to travel, but he’s willing to try it to regain the use of his legs."

"Well, given his incentive, I don’t see anything stopping him from walking again."

Gwen’s brows creased in puzzlement, but then she agreed. "I’m gonna go back home and pack up some stuff for them to have here, since they’re gonna have to live here for at least a while. But I wanted to come say goodbye to ya’ll, and wish you luck. You’ll be gone before I get back."

"Yep, but you’ll be coming out for the weekend. Still, I’m glad you stopped by to let us know the news." Tiny noticed she never mentioned Randi. "You travel safe, and we’ll see you in a few days, all right?"

"Ya’ll too." She stood, and patted Reed’s hand. "I’m glad you’re gonna be okay, my friend."

"Thanks, Gwen." They watched until she walked out of sight. Reed looked up sadly at Tiny. "It’s gone, love. Their bond is gone."

Randi returned to the beach house very late. She had long since turned the rumble of the motor off, losing herself in the night sounds of crickets and wind and waves. She parked the motorcycle, taking care to wipe it down meticulously and tarp it before entering the dark structure. Almost immediately, the familiar aromas assaulted her, and for a very long moment, she feared becoming physically ill. Knowing there was no where she could go to escape them, she shed her clothes, and crawled into the big bed she and Gwen had shared so happily only a few days before. The sheets still held the bard’s scent, and the warrior was helpless to do anything, aside from curling herself around Gwen’s pillow, and crying herself quietly to sleep.

When the sun rose the next morning, Randi woke from a fitful doze. The first few hazy moments, she lost herself in the familiar scent that surrounded her, and she smiled with pleasure. But awareness came to her abruptly, and she found she craved the gentle fingers tracing her features in discovery. She got up, and made a haphazard toilet, before taking off down the beach for a run. She needed to make a few decisions, and running would give her the clear head she needed.

It didn’t take long, relatively speaking. By her second lap around the island, she had come to a decision, and formulated a plan of attack. Well, love, if you don’t remember, I’ll just have to remind you. And this time, I’ll court you like you deserve to be courted."

Aphrodite smiled to her sister when they heard these words. "You go, girl," she whispered the image in her scrying bowl. "This might work out better than we hoped."

Artemis smiled. "I’m glad she finally figured it out. She had me on pins and needles for a while there."

"You and me both, sister. You and me both."

Athena walked into the room, a worried frown on her face. "We may have a more serious problem here than we thought."

"What’s wrong, The? Randi has finally figured out what she needs to do, and Gwen is actually trying to understand what happened from the Sabre’s point of view. Things are slowly coming back together." Dite smiled, quite pleased with the turn of events. The goddess of wisdom chewed her bottom lip, her nervousness causing her sisters grave concern. "Athena?" The smile turned to a frown.

"I just spoke to one of my priestess. You remember Rosie?" Twin heads nodded simultaneously. "She comes from a line of shamanesses, well practiced in the art of healing." She hesitated, and the pause grew so lengthy, that Artemis felt the need to nudge her along.

"The? Is there a point here somewhere, or are we supposed to guess?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. Randi went out riding today, and stopped by to see Rosie. And the shamaness noticed a scar on Randi’s face."

"I know about that. I saw it the other day."

Athena whirled on Aphrodite then. "Did it occur to you that it might be a problem?"

The blonde goddess looked thoughtful. "I did wonder about it. She flinched when I touched it, and it didn’t heal for me." Now she frowned. "What is up with that?" She looked at her sister. "Did you want to leave her scarred?"

Athena sighed. "I had nothing to do with it. I didn’t stop it from healing. I didn’t even know it was there until Rosie called it to my attention."

Artemis held up her hands. "This is all very interesting, but could we get to the point here? I’m beginning to get a little confused."

"Rosie called on me shortly after Randi left. She noticed the scar, and wondered what had happened to cause it, and it’s continued lack of healing. Assuming that I hadn’t decided to punish Randi for something, she started doing some research." The goddess heaved a sigh. "We know that this Ben person used some ancient practices to hide Gwen’s heart from her. I suspect he’s done something to Randi as well. You will remember after Ares lost the warrior to you and the bard, he had his priests brand his warriors to ensure their loyalty to him. I could never prove it, but I am almost certain many of them were coerced by drugging."

Both goddesses sucked in a breath. "How long before we know?"

"I’m thinking it will be extremely slow acting, to hide any trace of itself as a gradual change."

"How do we counteract it?"

Athena simply shook her head. "I don’t know that we can. We never had an antidote for it because I could never find anything to work with."

"Then how can you be sure that’s what happened?"

"I’m not. I’m just telling you it is a real possibility. We will have to do some investigation, see what we can find out about it. Because if Miranda Valiant has become one of Ares chosen, branded warriors, even against her will, there is no telling what kind of effect this will have on the world."

"Um, why hasn’t he tried this before now?"

The goddess of wisdom sighed again. "I don’t know. Rosie is doing some research. We need to keep an eye on Randi. I’m thinking Gwen may be the key to all this. This has been the first time Randi has been truly vulnerable."

Dite’s head dropped into her hands. "Just when you think things couldn’t get any more complicated...."

Gwen stepped into her parent’s home with a sense of pleasure. Even all grown up, she found comfort in the sights, sounds and smells of her childhood home. It was mid-afternoon, and she’d decided just to stay overnight, so she wouldn’t have to rush.

She went to the kitchen, fixing a pot of coffee before she moved to the den. She collected the email there for her folks, knowing her mother hadn’t taken the time to do it in the past few days. While it downloaded, a file with her name on it caught her eye, and she sat down to look at it. Her eyes grew big as she read the most recent one, and she stared at it for a long moment, before going to the beginning of the folder.

***********************************************************

Midas is one of the most fascinating places I’ve ever worked. The people here are kind,

***********************************************************

 

Gwen sat stunned looking at the screen for a long time. She couldn’t fathom why she had sent these snippets of her diary to her mother. She certainly didn’t remember having written with this particular slant. She rubbed at her suddenly aching head. She would have to go back into her diaries, and investigate this further. For now, though, she had things to do for her mother, so she got up, and went upstairs.

It didn’t take long, really, though it was good dark before she finished. Her mother had been quite thorough and accurate in her lists, and Gwen breathed a sigh of relief when she got done. Who knew two people needed so much stuff to live? Then her thoughts turned briefly to the massive amount of stuff she and Randi had moved from the penthouse apartment to the beach house. On the other hand.... she smiled as she went down to the kitchen.

She scowled at her first sip of coffee. Having sat for most of the afternoon, it was now strong enough to make her hair curl. "Ugh," she groaned, pouring it out, and looking into the fridge for some water. She fixed herself a bite of supper, cleaning up after herself neatly. Then she made a sweep of the entire house, making sure it was set to be closed for a while. Satisfied, she turned off the lights, and headed upstairs to her own room.

The bard paused at the threshold, sensing something unfamiliar in well-known room. It was a scent, a presence that hadn’t been there before. Her mind tried to place it, and failed, but she found it comforting. With a shrug, she changed for bed, and crawled beneath the sheets. As she dozed off, her body gave way to her heart’s desire, and she traced a familiar pattern on the pillow she cradled.

She slept past dawn, her dreams making her smile. When the green eyes finally opened, the dreams faded, but the feeling of contentment they gave her remained. She stretched, and crawled from the bed, heading for the shower. She was anxious to get back, and see how her folks were faring.

Midday found the bard back at the hotel she and her mother had been staying at. Jill was nowhere to be found, so Gwen left the things she had brought with her, and made her way over to the small medifac where her father was.

Geoff was in the small exercise room, working his upper body under the watchful eye of his therapist. He smiled when Gwen walked through the door. "Hi, little girl."

"Hey, Daddy. How ya doing?"

"Better, I think. I’m glad to be out of the chamber for a while, though this is not the first way I would have chosen to spend my time." He glared in the therapist’s direction, who merely shrugged and smiled. "On the other hand, I’m gonna have to work to walk again, so...."

"Do you regret having gone... having done this?"

Gray eyes met and held earnest green ones. "Gwen, if you never believe anything else, believe this. I would do it again in a heartbeat, even knowing what the outcome was going to be. There are some things in this world that are always worth the price, even when the price is high." He paused. "So don’t let it concern you any more, little girl. No one on this team would have stayed behind, even knowing how it would end."

The bard thought on that for a moment, then looked her father in the eye. "Sabres are a breed apart, aren’t they?"

Geoff chuckled. "Pretty much, little girl. Pretty much. Now," looking to the patiently waiting therapist, "let me get back to work. I’d like to be able to leave here nights and stay with your mother again as soon as possible."

The blonde gave her father a hug, and walked out of the room. She went back to the hotel, at something of a loss. She didn’t quite know what to do with herself. She didn’t want to sightsee alone, and she had nothing else to do here. She felt as though she were marking time, in limbo, waiting for something momentous to happen.

Finally, she took herself out to the pool area. She thought about writing, but couldn’t seem to get motivated. She fell asleep. Jill returned, a fond smile lighting her face at the innocent expression on her daughter’s face. She sent up a brief prayer to Artemis to help Gwen remember.

"Hey," lightly shaking the bard’s pink shoulder. "You’re getting quite a bit of color out here."

Green eyes opened, surprised at how far the sun had dropped. "Um, oh. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Musta been the heat. Hi, Mama." The bard sat up, and rubbed her eyes.

"Hello, daughter. I think we better get you in out of the sun." Jill smiled indulgently. "I know you and Randi stay out in the sun a lot, but you’ve still got quite a bit of pink going on here."

"Hmm, yeah. Besides," her stomach rumbling loudly, "I’m hungry."

Jill chuckled. "Nice to see some things never change. C’mon."

They were sitting at an early dinner, the bard digging in happily to her pre-dinner salad. If it hadn’t been considered bad manners, Jill felt fairly certain that she would be humming happily. "How did your house hunting go?" Gwen asked, as she took a sip of water.

"Quite well, I think, actually. I’ve found three that have possibilities. I’d like you to come out with me tomorrow, and give me your opinions on them." The blonde nodded her agreement. "How’d the packing go? Did you have any problems?"

"No. Everything was just where you said it would be." Her eyes took on a far off look, and she grew quiet. Jill let it continue, until she realized her daughter was in another world completely.

"Gwen? You okay?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah. Sorry. Just thinking."

"About?"

The bard dropped her head, studying the plate of food that had just been placed in front of her. "Mama, when I downloaded your mail, I found a file with my name on it." She took a deep breath. "I read it." Now she looked up, and found her mother’s eyes trained on her. Jill waited patiently, knowing there was more. It didn’t take long for that patience to be rewarded.

"I’m not sure I understand it. I don’t know why I’d send things so private to you, and I...." She trailed off. "Some of the things I wrote just don’t make sense to me."

The mother took a deep breath. Here then, was her first chance to help her daughter remember. She whispered a prayer for wisdom, and spoke. "Gwen, first... if it makes you feel any better, the things in that file are things you put there. Your father and I have never read them." The bard gave a silent sigh of relief, and Jill had to smile slightly to herself.

"As for what you wrote, I know you started keeping an actually written diary after Randi taught you how to write. Perhaps the answers to your questions are in that part of your journal. It might be a good idea to go back and read them in their entirety." A beat. "It might help you understand."

Gwen nodded her head slowly. "It probably would. I guess I’ll have some reading to do when I get home."

Jill smiled. It was only a tiny first step, but it was a step in the right direction.

The following day was spent going from house to house, looking, studying, and discussing possibilities. As it happened, they didn’t choose one of the three Jill had mentioned. The house they settled on they found quite by accident.

It was a small cottage, set on a bit of land in a quiet neighborhood only a couple miles from the medical facility where Geoff would be continuing his therapy. It was small enough to make it easy to take care of, but large enough for them to be comfortable. Jill was very pleased by the find, and her enthusiasm carried over into her visit with her husband that evening.

"We’ll be comfortable there, Geoff, until you can walk again, and we can go home."

He squeezed her tight in his arms, smiling at her optimism. "That may not happen you know, sweetheart."

"Geoff, you are going to walk your daughter down the aisle, and give her away to the woman she loves. I know that in my heart of hearts."

"You have that much faith then? In them and in me?"

"No doubts, love. This will happen." She turned to face him, and kissed him passionately. "Now, you concentrate on getting well. I’m going to have Gwen help me get the house set up tomorrow, and then I am sending her home. She has some discoveries of her own to make."

The man’s eyebrow rose. "You know something." A statement of fact.

"I know something." She grinned at him impishly.

"Would you like to share?" he drawled.

"Gwen found the folder she sent us. Apparently it had some pretty thought provoking items in it. So I want to get her home, so she can do some more reading." He continued to look at her. "I know it’s not much, but it’s a start, and I have faith. They are meant to be together. Gwen will see that again."

He kissed her again. "I love you, Jill."

She smiled. "I love you, too."

The morning found the two women moving the boxes Gwen had brought back with her into the cottage. "This is gonna be nice, Mother."

"Yeah, I think it is. Even given the circumstances, I think your daddy and I will be happy here. Thank you for your help, dear. I don’t think I could have managed without you."

"I was glad to help, Mama. After all, ya’ll wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for me."

"You know, I don’t think that’s true. Your father has been headed for a decline for a long time. There have been some mornings... well, I think, in a perverse way, he’s glad it happened the way it did."

Gwen looked at her mother askance. "There is a mentality here I am missing completely."

"Hmm, well, I’ll admit I don’t understand it, either, but there you have it. Now, let’s go get your father, so you can go home."

It was quiet when they entered the medifac. Geoff was still in the regen chamber, and Jill excused herself to speak to the therapist. Gwen headed out through the small garden to the tiny stream. She found peace here, and sat soaking it in. She heard the gate click shut and sighed. So much for peace and quiet. She started to get up.

"You don’t need to leave, Gwen. I heard you were going home shortly, and thought we could finish our talk before you left, if you’d like."

Dr. Litzer stood casually by the gate, hands in his pockets, waiting for her to grant him permission to approach. She found she appreciated that, the fact that he didn’t just force his presence into her solitude. Besides, there was a part of her that wanted to finish their conversation, so she nodded for him to join her.

They sat quietly together for a while, simply listening to the melody of the rippling water. H e finally glanced at her, before looking out at the vista again. "Did you think about what I asked you?"

Her brows knit together in a thoughtful frown. "Yes, I did." She paused. "I spent a good deal of time thinking about it actually."

He nodded, understanding both the spoken and unspoken words. "Did you come to any conclusions?" He didn’t ask until it became clear the bard wasn’t going to continue. He turned to her again, this time keeping his eyes focused on her expression. He watched, fascinated, as a myriad of expressions crossed her face. It took another little while before she returned his gaze unflinchingly.

"Anything. I would endure anything."

"Then remember this. A Sabre has taken a vow to endure anything, both to protect the ones they love and those who cannot protect themselves. It is a heavy burden to bear, but one we shoulder gladly to keep the peace safe from those who would destroy it. Think about it when you think of the killing. It’s not nice, but it is necessary."

He left her then, and she sat a while longer, thinking on his words. Her mind pictured Ben dying again, only this time, she stood in Randi’s place. And she realized, with a sudden intake of breath, that she could very easily have killed him if their situations had been reversed. It wasn’t a pleasant discovery of self, she noted, but one of truth nonetheless.

The bard swallowed hard, and got up. She had some business to take care of, then it was time to go home.

"Randi? Randi, I’m home."

The bard was calling out before the door was completely open. She was surprised when only silence met her. She looked carefully around the beach house. Everything was tidy and in its place. There was no sign of occupation at all. "Randi?" knowing it was a futile gesture.

She sat down on the sofa, facing the portrait of the two of them that Sal had taken years prior. There was something between them... she could almost see it. Her mind struggled to put a name to it, and failed. Sighing, she got up, stepping out the French doors, and heading to the boathouse. The utter stillness, the silence was oppressive. The bard paced to the end of the dock, noticing that even Pilot and Peanut seemed to have abandoned her.

"WEN!"

She smiled when the childish voice reached her ears, and she walked back up the dock to meet the approaching pair. Ella held Randall in her arms, and he leaped for Gwen when they got close. It was only the bard’s fast reflexes that kept the boy from taking a header into the water.

"This child is gonna be the death of me," Ella half-joked. Her pale face belied the teasing of her words.

"Wen! Wuv miss Wen. Miss Wuv." She kissed the boy’s smooth cheek, accepting his rather sloppy affection before she turned to look at the boy’s mother.

"Where is Wuv?" smiling at her own use of the warrior’s nickname.

Ella looked at her in puzzlement. "Don’t you know? She’s gone to Reed’s place. Ditto is due to have those puppies this weekend. I figured you’d be there, as a matter of fact."

"Damn! I forgot about that, but... that’s still a couple days away. Why isn’t she here now? It’s not but an hour trip by shuttle."

"She took the bike. I guess she felt the need for some space." Ella didn’t mention the restless energy that seemed to pulse through the woman when she’d stopped by the day before to say goodbye. "How’s your dad, by the way?"

They walked back up to the house, with the child humming contentedly in her arms. Before she could answer Ella’s question, Randall demanded her attention.

"Wen! Tory, pwease?"

The bard thought for a moment, before looking the boy in the eyes. "This is the story of a brave knight, who risked everything she had for love."

Ella’s eyes grew big, as she listened to the bard spin her first tale since Randi disappearance more than fifteen months ago. It was a simple tale, and nothing like her normal storytelling, but it was a first step. Ella wondered what had happened that brought the muse back to the bard. As she listened further, she realized Gwen was telling a story of Randi’s heroism. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask what had happened, but she checked herself. The first rule she had learned about the Artist’s Guild was to never interrupt the creative process.

Upon further study, she figured out the bard was not even aware of the transition. So she sat quietly until the tale was finished. "Lovely story, Gwen. Is it new?"

"Um, yeah," the bard rubbed her forehead. "I’m not sure... hmm. I...." The soft voice trailed off in confusion.

"So you were gonna tell me about your dad," Ella reminded her kindly. Gwen smiled, grateful for the diversion.

"He’s doing better than they expected him to at this point, actually. Mother says his motivation is strong enough to make it possible for him to beat the odds, but she won’t tell me what his motivation is." She looked at Ella. "Do you ever feel like you’re the only one missing out on the joke that everybody else is getting?" The curly head nodded solemnly, though there was a distinct twinkle in her eye. "That’s the way I feel, but I’m not pushing the issue. As long as he gets better, I don’t need to know."

"What are their immediate plans?"

"Well, Mother found them a house. They will be staying in the capital city for a while to try a new recovery treatment therapy. As I said, things look very promising for him right now. It’s just gonna take a lot of time and effort on his part."

Ella patted Gwen’s knee, and reached for her sleeping offspring. "I’m glad things look so good for him. I like your folks. They are real people." She grunted a little as she hefted her son up. "You gonna head out to the ranch?"

The blonde thought, then nodded. "Yeah. In the morning. Ditto would never forgive me if I missed this."

"True. I gotta admit... Randall and I have missed having her around the past couple weeks." She sighed. "I’d better get home. I have a ton of stuff still to do today. Lemme know how things go with the puppies, all right?

And ya’ll let us know when you get back. You have no idea how we worry."

"That’s sweet, Ella. I’ll make sure to keep you posted... about both." She looked at the still sleeping boy. "You want me to give you a ride home?"

"Would you mind? He’s getting so big. It won’t be long before I can’t carry him at all." She smiled sadly.

"Let me get the transport."

Gwen had conveniently forgotten how quiet the beach house was without Randi’s presence. She couldn’t figure it out, really. It wasn’t like the Marine was a loud individual, nor was she particularly messy. In fact, the bard grinned to herself, they had had a discussion once about Randi’s meticulous neatness. So it bothered her when she returned from having dropped off Ella and Randall to the sterile quiet of an empty house.

She moped around for a few minutes, not really sure what to do with herself. What is up with you today, Gwen Goldman? What has put you so out of sorts? Finally, she went up to her room, rooting around in her closet until she came up with a good-sized polymer box.

The bard sat on the edge of the bed, fingering the cover for some length of time. She remembered the day she’d asked Tony to craft this for her, wanting a special place to store her journals. She’d never realized how much more personal her thoughts became by actually writing them down, but she was so thankful Randi had taken the time to teach her the almost forgotten art of handwriting.

With a sigh, and not a little trepidation, she lifted the cover, and took in the scent of ink and paper. She smiled now, and lifted out the first book. Gwen frowned after a moment’s reading, realizing that she had not started *writing* on paper until after she and Randi had known each other for just over two years. Disgusted with herself, and her faulty, selective memory, she set the box to one side of the bed, and trudged downstairs to the large computer system.

Hours later, she was rubbing her eyes. The holo program had been reading entry after entry, and she was only just a few months into their friendship. The temptation to skip this was almost overwhelming, but something held her back. It was a fascinating to watch, the ever–so-slowly changing dynamic of their relationship. Already she had heard them go from being mere strangers to very good friends. She had smiled a lot, even laughed a couple times. But the most startling difference was the way she was able to view the separations the Sabres had forced upon them time and again.

It broke her heart to realize that every time the warrior had left her, it was to kill... to keep her and the rest of the world safe for another day. The hurt was compounded by the knowledge that Randi shut out everyone when she returned, bearing a burden no one should ever have had to bear. She wondered what other secrets her own words would reveal to her, but her eyes were heavy, and she yawned.

She would continue her research when they got back from the breeding ranch, but for now.... she turned off the holo emitters, and set up the security system. Then she trudged upstairs, and fell asleep, still fully clothed.

Her dreams were a mish mash of confusing images, and she frowned before she slipped into a deeper, dreamless state.

"What happened, Morph?" The blonde tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she stood in Morpheus’ realm observing the bard’s sleep.

"I’m not sure, Cuz. I think it may just be a sensory overload on her part. I’ll keep an eye on her, though."

"I know you will, and I totally appreciate it. I swear, these two are enough to make a goddess pull her hair out sometimes, ya know?"

He just chuckled at her expression.

Gwen slept much longer then she intended to the next morning. She got up, and immediately put in a vid call to Reed. She was surprised when the breeder chuckled at her in greeting.

"Just got up, huh, and haven’t looked in the mirror?" Reed chuckled when the bard frowned grumpily at her words. "I’m sorry, Gwen, I shouldn’t laugh. But you look so cute, and I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to see that." She went on without giving the blonde a chance to answer. "What can I do for ya?"

"Well, I was wondering if Randi was there yet?"

"No, not yet, but I wasn’t expecting ya’ll til tomorrow. Looks like the puppies will be right on time."

"Um, okay. I’ll probably come in sometime tomorrow morning. She’s riding the bike over." She said this with studied casualness.

Reed’s eyes nearly popped from her head at this pronouncement. It was quite a long trip to be making on the bike. Randi must have had some issues to work out, and not knowing if or when the bard would be able to make it out.... She tucked the thought away for further study.

"That’s fine, Gwen. You’re welcome whenever you want to come over."

"Thanks, Reed. I’ll see ya’ll in the morning, then." The Sabre pilot just chuckled again, and waved goodbye. The bard cut the connection, and wandered over to the mirror, stopping in horror as she stared at the reflection of herself. Then she burst out laughing. "Reed, you are a woman of amazing self-control." With another wry chuckle, she went in to the bathroom, and shut the door behind her.

"Well, since I’m not going until tomorrow, let’s see where I left off." She had gotten comfortable after her shower, and was happily ensconced in a pair of running shorts and a sports bra. She found her place in her holo-diary easily, and let it run while she went to fix herself something to eat.

Randi had left for the ranch at daybreak. She craved the peace and solitude traveling on the bike gave her. She had several things she wanted to work through in her mind---among them what she would say to Gwen when they sat down to talk. It would have helped, of course, if she knew what the bard was going to say to her first. But she didn’t, so she spent most of the first day’s travel running through different scenarios, trying to imagine all the possibilities.

A couple of times, she’d actually had to stop the bike. Some of the things she envisioned literally hurt her very soul, and she was forced to stop and simply breathe until the pain passed. When night came, exhaustion forced her to stop and seek shelter. She grimaced wryly to herself. Never had a Sabre mission been as wearisome as dealing with all this emotionalism was.

The inn she stopped at was quiet and quaint, and she was glad of the chance to rest. She stripped down to her underwear and crawled into bed, too tired to eat, and sound asleep before her head hit the pillow. Morpheus took pity on her, and sent her immediately into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The following morning, fueled by a good, hearty breakfast, she mounted the bike, and headed out again. And when Gwen arrived home, she was almost halfway to her destination. Her thoughts on this day were much more pleasant. She passed the hours thinking of different things she could do to court Gwen properly. Her mind reviewed many of the things they had done together when they were still just friends... long before they realized and admitted their love for one another. Aphrodite had accused her of unconsciously courting the bard then. She could use some of those ideas, and make a conscious effort to woo her girl.

She was smiling when she stopped for the evening. There were a lot of things she could do to show Gwen her true feelings without being overbearing or invasive. The only thing gnawing at her in the back of her mind was that little talk they still needed to have. The Marine consciously put it aside, knowing she could do nothing until she and the bard had the privacy to talk.

It occurred to her when she sat down to eat, that she didn’t know if Gwen was going to be at Reed’s for the birth or not. This wasn’t something she wanted to do in their home or with an audience. The Sabre shook her head. She’d cross that bridge when she came to it. Worrying in advance was gonna get her nothing but an ulcer if she wasn’t careful.

Her last day on the road was one spent in thoughtful meditation. She was deeply attuned to everything going on around her, but her mind was on another plane of awareness. And just about dusk, she pulled into the long driveway that led to Tiny and Reed’s home.

Tiny was almost ready to put supper on the table, and Reed was setting their places. The odd disturbance of air outside drew both their attentions, and together, they stepped out onto the front porch. The big man’s face broke into a delighted grin. "Guess Gwen was right," and headed down the steps to meet his friend. The seer hung back a moment longer, scanning Randi’s aura before approaching her. Satisfied with what she found, she joined the duo, and welcomed the Marine into their home.

Reed took Randi up to her room, so Tiny could finish up in the kitchen. "You look better, my friend. How are you doing?"

Randi looked at the seer, puzzled. Reed had been unconscious or in regen for most of the time they had been together during the last week. How could she know? The breeder smiled.

"You remember we talked about your aura?" Randi nodded. "Even unconscious, I could see it, feel it. For a while there, I was afraid." The seer reached a hand toward the Marine’s face, who drew back reflexively from the pain she knew a touch would cause. Reed stopped. "It’s still not right but it is better. You’ve found a focus, a center, yes?"

"Yes," smiling and looking away bashfully. "This time, she’s gonna get the treatment she deserves."

"Then I wish you much happiness and joy, Randi. You are sure to win her heart."

Earnest blue eyes met the seer’s fathomless ones. "Do you really think so?"

"My friend, I know it in my heart. You won her last time unknowingly, didn’t you? How will she be able to resist a deliberate attempt to win her love?" Randi set her small bag down, and crossed to the bathroom to wash her hands. "Have faith, Randi," Reed continued when the Marine stepped out of the enclosure. "This time, I think you may have help.

Ditto howled in delight when Randi stepped into the kennel after supper. The Marine instantly went to her knees, allowing the shepherd to give her a good face wash. She returned the attention by scratching the dog behind the ears for long minutes. Ditto fairly purred in delight, and rubbed up against her like a cat.

"How’s she doing, Reed?"

"Very well. Everything is on schedule, and Phil has been strutting around here like he was king of the mountain for the past two days. I’m thinking these pups should arrive right on time."

"Good. These guys already have places to go."

"Yep, I have your list right here," waiting for Tiny to hand her the vid chip she needed. She slipped it into her comm. link, and watched the list come up. "Hmm, one for the sound technician, Liz." Randi nodded.

"She’s always taken care of my girl well, and when her dog passed away recently, it seemed like the right thing to do."

"Okay. Then I have one for Lacey, one for Scott and Tory, and one for Tommy. That covers all the puppies I’ve counted in my examinations. I think they are gonna be big pups, though... they are sure taking up the room."

Randi looked down at Ditto and had to agree. She gave the dog a good last scratch, then stood up and stretched. "I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’m beat. Would you consider me rude if I excused myself and went on up to bed?"

"Not at all," Tiny instantly responded. "Truth is, we are still turning in early ourselves. Reed’s eyes are still recovering, and rest is the best thing for them at this point."

Randi took Reed’s hands in her own, and looked deep into her eyes again, knowing how close the other woman had come to losing them. "Are you sure you’re all right? I know how...." She paused when Reed squeezed her hands hard.

"We’ve already discussed this, Randi. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Even if I lose my physical sight, that doesn’t affect my gift. I’m fine. I’ll be even better soon. So please let the guilt go, and move on. We have more important things to focus on."

The Marine looked into Reed’s newly healed eyes for a long moment, assuring herself of the truth and rightness of the seer’s words. Then with a nod of acceptance, and a return squeeze to the breeder’s hands, Randi slipped out of the kennel and into the house. She was asleep so quickly, she didn’t hear the couple come upstairs a short while later.

At breakfast the following morning, Randi was pouring the waffles while Reed fried up the bacon. "Why is it," the Marine mused aloud, "that in this day and age of technology, we get such simple pleasure from something like cooking?"

Tiny looked up from where he was grinding the coffee. "I think it has something to do with the satisfaction we feel providing for ourselves. I know the food we prepare is always much better than anything we get at those instant places." In fact," putting the pot on to boil, "when we go out, either they cook, or we don’t go there."

"I think that is probably one of the reasons Ella’s place is so popular." They sat down to a hot meal. "Her stuff is prepared right there fresh. And it’s set up that you can actually watch Ricky and the chefs cook."

"Sounds like a fascinating experience. We’ll have to come down and try it." The conversation drifted to other places of similar quality they had each had the opportunity to experience. Reed never mentioned to Randi that the bard was expected to arrive that morning. It completely slipped her mind.

Mid-morning found Randi in the kennel, stroking Ditto’s soft head. Things were right on schedule, and the pups were due to arrive very shortly. She looked up when the door opened, then looked back down again when a familiar blonde head poked in, and green eyes caught hers. She had been so caught up in the excitement that had started before breakfast was over, that she’d temporarily forgotten that Gwen would probably be showing up today. Time to bite the bullet, Valiant. "Hi, Gwen," she murmured, keeping her focus on the dog beneath her hands.

The bard didn’t utter a sound as she crossed from the door to Randi’s side. Neither she nor the Marine noticed Ditto’s lack of reaction to the bard save an anxious whine. She placed two fingers under the Marine’s chin, and urged her face upwards til their eyes met and she smiled. "Hello, Randi. We have a lot to talk about... later." The Sabre focused on what she could see in the soul held in those eyes, and felt some of the burden slip away. Gwen was here, and ready to give her a second opportunity to talk, and for now, that promise was enough. She nodded her agreement, and looked back down at Ditto. "How’s she doing?"

"She’s doing very well," Reed commented from the doorway. She and Tiny had been hidden in the shadows of the building, watching the reunion with interest. Reed winced at the raw energy, and the off kilter factor it contained. This was almost worse than the strength of their bond.

"She’s right on schedule," Tiny said.

"Is it normal for the stud to be present?" Gwen pointed to the corner where Phil stood soundlessly, watching the proceedings with interest. He didn’t interfere or get in the way of things, but his silent presence was strongly felt in the room.

"For him, yes. He takes quite the proprietary interest in each batch of puppies he fathers. He has stood sentinel at each birth."

"I think that’s adorable," Gwen whispered in Randi’s direction. Quite without her knowledge, her small hand grasped the Sabre’s larger one, as one by one, they watched the puppies enter the world. Randi smiled to herself in quiet satisfaction.

"Well, two boys and two girls," Reed said sometime later. "Whatcha gonna call them?"

Blue eyes went big and round. "Isn’t naming them, um, your job?"

"Nope, not this time."

"I don’t suppose Dog One, Two, Three, and Four would be acceptable," Randi muttered. The three adult humans around her burst into laughter.

"Randi!" the bard admonished. "Um... I know. How about Mim and Rox for the females, and Carbon and Copy for the males?"

Reed chuckled, and her eyes lit up in delighted laughter. "Oh that is priceless," understanding the hidden joke. "Absolutely perfect. This little guy," holding up the solid black runt, "will naturally be Carbon."

"Naturally," Randi replied drolly.

The remainder of the day was spent with Ditto and her babies. Phil remained in the room, circling occasionally, making sure everything was fine. It was a peaceful day, right up until it was time to go to bed. When it came time for bed though, things got a little awkward.

"Um, Reed, which room should I take?" They had been too busy to worry about room arrangements before, and now Gwen wasn’t sure where she was supposed to be.

"Randi’s right here," the seer answered without thinking.

"Um, yeah, but where do you want me to sleep?" Gwen was a little confused over Reed’s answer, but figured the stress of the day had made her misunderstand the bard’s question.

"Oh!" Damn, Reed! Pay attention here please! "Sorry. You can take the adjoining room."

"Thanks." Gwen reached around and gave her friend a hug. "Thanks for letting us come and witness a miracle." She opened the door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Gwen." Reed waited until the door was closed before she muttered. "If we’re very lucky, we will see another miracle again very soon."

"You sure you have to go home so soon?" Tiny asked his Sabre comrade early the next day. "Seems like a hell of a long way to come to stay over for just two nights."

"Yeah, but I will have been gone for the better part of a month all told by the time I get home again. I’ve got work I need to do. Next time I won’t bring the bike. Or better yet... next time, you come see me."

"You’ve got yourself a deal. Besides, we have a date to come out that way already, remember?"

"I remember. And no one is looking forward to it more than I am."

"I hear you, my friend. Safe journey."

"Thanks, Tiny." She turned to Gwen, who had just stepped off the front porch. "You sure you wanna go home this way? Shuttle would be faster and more comfortable." She really wanted the bard with her, but was trying to take the best care of her that she could. Gwen read the longing in her eyes, though, very easily.

"Would you rather I go that way?"

"No, not at all," hastening to reassure the blonde. "I was merely thinking of your comfort."

"I have always been most comfortable wherever you are, so if you don’t mind, I would like to go home with you."

"I would like that best too," said shyly.

"Well, then," taking up her helmet, and dropping in her bag. "What are we waiting for? The road awaits." And with a final round of hugs and a wave, they were off.

The day was beautiful, and Randi sighed in contentment as they eased down the road. In all honesty, they were taking it a little slower than she had coming out. It felt so wonderful to have Gwen’s arms wrapped around her, even loosely, and she had a good feeling about their coming talk. So they moseyed through the countryside, enjoying the breeze that their riding stirred.

Lunch was a brief stop under some shade trees, sharing the food Reed had so thoughtfully provided them with before they’d left. They didn’t talk much, simply enjoying the peace of the day and the happiness of being together again. Gwen found it odd how much contentment she felt just being with Randi, despite everything. There was a place in her that felt complete. Part of her wanted to have their talk now, for better or worse. Another part of her needed to get back to her diaries to do some more reading. Still a third part wanted to curl up in Randi’s arms and just be. It was this part that was causing her so much confusion. So lunch passed quietly, with each of them lost in their own thoughts.

Dusk found them pulling into a little town that seemed unusually busy for its size. And when they went looking for a place to sleep, they began to see the problem. Randi shook her head grimly as she came out of the town’s second and only other hotel establishment.

"No luck?" the bard questioned sympathetically. The first place they’d stopped had been full up. There was some sort of reunion going on, and the proprietress wasn’t too hopeful about them finding anything. But she gamely gave them directions and wished them good fortune.

"Well, sorta." The warrior was kicking herself for stopping here, but it hadn’t been a problem three days ago. The tiny town had been almost deserted, it had been so quiet. Now, however.... "We have a room, but...." She scratched the back of her neck. "We only have *A* room. There was only one room left." She breathed. "I’m sorry, Gwen. The town wasn’t like this three days ago, honest. I didn’t realized there was gonna be an Amazon family reunion here."

Gwen, stepped off the bike, and lifted up her small duffle. "Randi, it’s okay. We share living space at home." She paused in though a moment. "I was a little surprised at Reed last night, but maybe it was a natural assumption. I mean, no one knows we have separate beds in separate rooms, I guess huh? It’s not like it’s anyone’s business."

Randi couldn’t find a comment to make right then to save her life, so she simply grabbed her bag, and headed for the lift. The room was nice enough, though one look made the Marine put her head in her hands and close her eyes. She had to wonder if the gods were conspiring for her or against her.

Gwen eased by her, stepping into the room, and looking around with approval. "This is nice," she nodded. "Not bad." She set her stuff down on the small table, and turned to face the warrior. "Shall we go get something to eat?"

The Marine entered the room and shut the door behind her. "Do you trust me?"

"Huh?" Gwen wondered what that had to do with getting dinner.

"Do you trust me?"

Green eyes gazed into startlingly blue. "I always have."

"Then we can go get dinner. Just stay with me, please, and go along with what I say?"

"All right."

It only took them a few minutes to clean up, and they stepped back out into the melee. It didn’t take long for them to find a place to sit and order some food, and they sat back to people watch. What Randi had said earlier finally sunk into Gwen’s brain. "Amazon family reunion?"

"Yep. They get different parts of the nation together during the course of the year. I think their big reunion is in the fall... a couple months from now."

Their food arrived, and the next few minutes were filled with silence as they each concentrated on the fare in front of them. As they began to fill up, they noticed more and more women coming out and headed toward a big campfire area to their left. Gwen watched intrigued as several musicians took their places and began warming up. Another group of what looked to be dancers was off apart from the crowd, doing some stretching exercises. The bard watched the activity quietly, then looked to her companion. "Would you mind... can we go watch for a little while?"

Randi sighed inwardly. She had been afraid of this, but it was what the bard wanted so.... "Okay, just follow my lead, and you’ll be fine." She took Gwen’s hand, pleased when the blonde grasped her own firmly in return. They found a place to one side beneath a tree that offered them a decent view of all the activities, yet kept them far enough away so that they could speak without yelling. Rand sat, stopping the bard when Gwen made a move to sit beside her. "Sit here," patting the ground between her legs.

Gwen looked at her dubiously, but complied, knowing there was a legitimate reason. The tingles that traveled up and down her spine caused by the strong arms now wrapped around her middle made her look back at the Marine with a question in her eyes. It wasn’t that she minded... on the contrary, it was quite the pleasant sensation. But there were still so many holes, things she didn’t remember. And there was still the issue of Ben’s execution between them yet.

"I’m sorry, Gwen. I don’t mean to take liberties, but look around." Green eyes traveled the area and noticed a pattern. She met the patiently waiting blue eyes. "Couples sit this way. It is so the other women know to leave each partner of the pair alone. Only the single women sit side by side. It is their way of stating their availability. Unless you’d rather be single." Arms pulled back from the bard’s waist. Gwen merely reached back, and pulled the hands to her front again, leaning back slightly into the body behind her. Randi sighed in relief. The first hurdle had been crossed.

The rhythm of the music was sensual, hypnotic. They watched the dancers in contented silence for a while, before Gwen decided to open up the conversation. "Randi, how do you feel about killing?"

The Sabre sucked in a breath. Well, nothing like getting right to the heart of the matter. "Can we walk? I’d like to go somewhere with a little more privacy."

Gwen looked around, noticing more and more women were getting up to join the dancers. She felt a fleeting wish pass through her, and then stood, dusting off her pants. She smiled, and reached a hand down to her companion. Randi reached up hesitantly and took it, laughing a little when the bard neatly pulled her to her feet.

"Been working out some there, hmm?"

Gwen blushed. "Guess those staff workouts have helped more then I realized."

Randi smiled gently. "Guess so. C’mon," holding out her hand. "Let’s get out of here."

They hadn’t moved more than two steps, when they were stopped by a huge hulk of a woman. "No one leaves without dancing first."

"Excuse me?"

The big woman looked at her patiently. "You are a card carrying Amazon, right?" She waited for Randi’s nod. "Then you know that everyone is committed to at least one dance to give thanks to Artemis for her protection of our Nation." The Marine’s head dropped. She didn’t need this right now... they didn’t need it. She looked up when the small hand still clasped in hers squeezed gently.

"C’mon, Randi. We can do this, and then we’ll go talk. We don’t want to offend Artemis now, do we?" Green eyes twinkled, and the Sabre had to smile.

"You sure you don’t mind?"

"No." A pause. "Honestly, I wanted to try it, but I thought we should talk first."

"See, you’ve got a good woman here. Now go give thanks, and enjoy." The large woman slipped back to her perimeter post before Randi could make a reply. Not that she had a clue of what kind of response she could make. She felt a tugging on her hand.

"C’mon, gunny."

The dance was slow and sensual, and the press of bodies kept them close together. Gwen wrapped her arms around Randi’s waist, laying her ear on the Marine’s strong heartbeat. Randi closed her eyes in tortured enjoyment... praying for the moment to be over, and hoping it would never end. The music wound down, and she pulled back from the bard slightly, smiling when Gwen grinned up at her.

"That was nice. Can we do it again?"

"Let’s talk. We’ll see how you feel then."

The Sabre reached her hand out, and Gwen took it without hesitation. And they moved off into the cool darkness of the night.

There was a rise just outside the town proper, and Randi led them up onto it. It gave a clear view of the activities, without making one a part of them. The Marine seated Gwen on the smooth, conveniently placed rock, before turning her back and looking down at the activity below. The bard sat silently, letting Randi choose her time and manner to speak.

"All my growing up years, I was just a normal kid, and Tommy was my best friend. I excelled in my studies, and I had quite a few outside interests. When it was time to do my service, I chose the Corps. I didn’t want to do the Navy thing... the thought of all that time at sea...." She shuddered. "Anyway, I ended up being put into the

Sabre program, and I was good at it. Hell, I was better than good... I was the best. And for a while, it was enough. The rightness of the cause, the justice in it."

She sighed, and her shoulders slumped. "But it wore on me... it wears on me still. The killing, it eats at your soul, sapping your humanity drop by precious drop. But the alternative... to let the peace, our very way of life be ruined... to see those you love and care about be destroyed. I couldn’t do that either. So I accepted the responsibility Fate handed me."

"So, no Gwen, I don’t like the killing. I don’t like the fact that I am exceptionally good at it either. But it is very much a part of who I am. I would not hesitate to kill to protect you."

It was silent again for a very long time. Randi kept her face turned away from the bard, so Gwen could not gauge the other woman’s feelings on anything except her words, and the flatness of her tone of voice. She came to a decision, finally, and slid off the rock. The bard circled around to stand in front of Randi, coming to rest between her and the view of the town below. She waited until blue eyes met her own, and drew in a quick breath at the pain and tears she found lingering there.

She reached down, and grasped the clenched hands, drawing them to her and pulling gently forward, leading the warrior to the rock. She eased the taller woman down, then lifted a hand and softly wiped at the tear that had rolled down a chiseled cheek. The bard reached down for the hand she had dropped. Now it was her turn to look down, and examine the ground beneath her feet. When she started to speak, Randi had to strain to hear the whispered voice.

"When you... killed... him... I felt so many things. Fear, anger, confusion, disbelief... I was overwhelmed. The stress was more than my mind could handle apparently, because Mama said I went into shock." She looked up to catch the dark head nod, even though Randi’s eyes appeared to be closed. It was hard to tell with the face turned away from her. "Mama and I had an interesting talk when I woke up, and she asked me something that got me to thinking... something that made me start asking questions of my own."

The silence dragged on for what seemed like ever, before the Marine cleared her throat and asked, "What did she say to you?"

Gwen smiled slightly. "She asked me why, in the state of shock that I was in, caused by my reaction to what had happened... what you had done... why you were the only person I would let near me. I told her it was a matter of trust. She reminded me then that trust was unconditional, and if I trusted you, I needed to have faith, not to judge, but to talk it out with you."

She paused and swallowed, composing her thoughts. "While you were sleeping, I went and talked to Daddy, and he made me think a little more, and realize that there was a lot I didn’t understand. And when you left, I decided to see if I could understand a little bit more. So I talked to Tiny, and Daddy, and Dr. Litzer. And they all made the same point you did... about it not being something they would have chosen, but a duty they were honored to perform."

She sighed, and looked at Randi, reaching a hand up and turning the warrior’s face toward her. "Dr. Litzer, though... he brought things home to me in a very real, very honest way. He put me in your place, and asked me what I would have done." Blue eyes dropped. Gwen knelt until she was looking up at Randi, who closed her eyes at the unexpected scrutiny.

"Randi, look at me." Finger’s touched the Marine’s chin softly, careful to stay away from the cut. "Randi, please." Sorrowful blue met vibrant green. "I learned something about myself, Randi. Put in your place, I would most certainly have done what you did. I would kill to protect you as well." Tears welled in two sets of eyes. "Not something I ever expected to learn about myself, but it is the truth, nonetheless." A pause. "Does it change the way I view myself, you, Daddy and Tiny and Reed? Yes, it can’t help but. Does it change the way I feel? Only in that I have grown to respect you, your inner strength so much more. I don’t know how you have managed to live with this weight for as long as you have. You are still my best friend, and I still love and trust you."

"I still have some problems with it. I probably will for a while. It has changed the way I look at a lot of things. However, I want you to know I would like to share the burden, if you’ll let me. We can get through this together."

For a very long moment, the stillness was palpable. Then without a word, Randi reached down, and pulled Gwen into her arms, hanging on for dear life. The bard returned the embrace glad she’d made the right choice for both of them.

They stayed wrapped up together like this for a while, until finally the bard pulled slightly away. She tipped her head back to look the Marine in the eye. "C’mon, gunny. I’m exhausted, and I hear a nice, big, comfortable bed calling my name." Without a word, Randi held out her hand, and Gwen grasped it, leading the way back down the slope and into town.

The Sabre instinctively took the lead as they approached the hotel. She keyed in the code and opened the door, keeping the bard shielded as a matter of course. Gwen smiled in reaction. She always does that... always looks out for me. It only took a moment for these thoughts to pass through her mind, and by that time, they were in the room with the door closed.

Randi looked around, embarrassed. Though they had worked out a major problem, she didn’t want to assume anything. Gwen still regarded her as only a friend, and her comments earlier made the Sabre realize that a lot had changed when Ben had stolen her lover’s memories. So she was caught by surprise when the bard kept hold of her hand and led her to the bed.

"C’mon, gunny. It’s been a long day, and I’m tired."

"I’ll make a pallet on the couch, Gwen...."

The bard eyed the tiny loveseat dubiously. "I don’t think so. The bed is big, and we’re both adults. It’s not like we haven’t shared before."

Randi nodded. "As long as you’re comfortable." The bard grabbed her bag and moved to the bathroom area.

"I won’t be but a minute."

Then Marine turned to her own bag, and pulled out her pajamas. She was changed, had brushed her hair and teeth, and was comfortably ensconced on one side of the big bed before Gwen emerged from the bathroom. "Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so long. Do you....?" motioning toward the toilet area. When Randi shook her head, she turned off the light, pausing to let her eyes adjust before moving to the bed. "Geez, I didn’t expect it to be so dark." The Sabre chuckled silently. "Hush, you," reaching over and giving the other woman a light smack on the ribs.

They were quiet for a time after that, falling into a pleasantly lethargic haze. They listened to the muted sounds of the ongoing party outside. "That was interesting," the bard murmured.

"What was?" Randi asked. She’d been almost asleep when Gwen spoke, and she had no clue what the blonde was referring to now.

"That Amazon party. I’d like to do that again sometime. And what’s a card carrying Amazon, anyway?"

Randi rolled over onto her side. "Yes, it was, yes, we can, and we’ll talk about it later."

Gwen yawned, and nodded. "’K. Night, Randi." The bard tucked a hand under her cheek, and promptly fell asleep. The Marine lay there looking at her in the darkness for a few minutes before she replied.

"Good night, love."

Gwen was the first to awaken the next morning. She had vague recollections of this happening before but never in quite this position. They had started out innocently enough, on opposite sides of the bed. As the night wore on, however, the space between them diminished. From facing one another, they had migrated to end up wrapped in each other’s arms. So when Gwen opened her eyes, her head was pillowed on Randi’s shoulder, with an arm thrown across the warrior’s middle. She smiled wistfully at how natural it felt to be cradled by those strong arms, then sighed.

The bard got up, surprised at how cold it was out of that embrace. She pushed her pillow into Randi’s arms, which had started searching for her the moment she moved. She smiled again as the Marine wrapped herself around it, and fell back into a deeper sleep. Then she moved off to take a shower.

"Thanks, Morph. I appreciate all the help."

"No prob, cuz. You’ve always been good to me. I’m glad to repay a favor or two."

The two women got back on the road shortly after breakfast. The whole town was quiet, having spent a majority of the night partying. Only a very few people were out and about in the early morning sunshine.

"Wow, this place is a lot different during the day, huh?"

"No, this is how it is most of the time. This is how it was when I came through the other night. It’s the family reunion thing that changes it, and then the change is temporary. Two or three days of celebration, and then the place goes back to normal."

They were making good time, until suddenly, shortly after lunch, it started to rain. Randi slowed down, but kept going, hoping to make the distance she needed to get them home the following day. When she felt the bard start to shiver, however, she began to look for a place to stop.

The inn she found was nice, and Randi got them two rooms. The Marine really didn’t want to, but she respected Gwen’s need for a bit of space. The bard herself wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. She was at once both somewhat relieved, and oddly disappointed, and that just put her in a state of confusion she wasn’t really comfortable with. Goldman, just suck it up. What the hell is up with you, anyway? She moved into the bathroom, settling into the very warm water for a nice long soak.

Because they had stopped early, it put them behind schedule in getting home. It was just coming on noon of the fourth day when they crossed onto the island. Randi’s behavior was baffling Gwen. She was polite, but distant, catering to the bard’s every need, but not forcing anything upon her. The storyteller decided to call the warrior on it shortly.

For now, though, a rustling noise from the tree line made them both look in that direction. It didn’t take a moment before Randall toddled out, headed toward them as fast as he could manage. He squealed in delight on spotting them.

"Wuv! Wen!"

The bard knelt down and opened her arms, and he rushed headlong into them. "Wen! Tory... pwease?"

Gwen smiled and ruffled the child’s hair. She picked him up, and walked to the patio table, settling down and talking quietly to him. Ella had followed her offspring more slowly, and she went to the shed where the Marine was carefully stowing the motorcycle.

"Good to see ya’ll back," she welcomed. Tommy had cautioned her that something wasn’t right, and Randi had in fact called the night before and given them a brief synopsis of what had happened. So she was trying to keep from intruding, knowing so many subjects were taboo now, but still wanting to get things back to as normal as possible. "We expected ya’ll in last night."

"Yeah, the weather delayed us. We got caught in an awful shower coming home."

"Um, we saw that. I figured that was the hold-up. How’s Ditto?"

"Fine. She gave birth to four beautiful puppies, and they all have homes already. There is one, all black with yellow eyes... Reed swears he is a throwback to some ancient wolf forefather." She smiled when Ella’s brows shot up into her hairline. "Yeah, I know, but she is convinced. Says she can trace the lineage." She paused. "He does look a little like a wolf, come to think of it." The Marine laughed lightly. "They’re a cute little bunch, though."

Randi picked up both her and Gwen’s bags, and headed out toward the house. The bard and Randall were playing chase on the shoreline. The boy stopped, bending over slightly, with his hands on his knees. He pointed, and Gwen ambled over to take a closer look.

"Sand spider," she answered, as the other two women approached. "Let’s leave him alone and play over here."

"Wuv!" The child lost interest in his surroundings as his other playmate came into view again. He ran to her, latching onto her legs, intent on pulling himself up. She lifted him up, blowing raspberries on his belly, which made him scream with laughter. Ella watched Gwen watching them, and realized the bond between the two women was altered, reverted back to what it had been in the time previous to Randi’s death. She found herself wondering what had happened in the days they had been gone that could have changed the dynamic between them so drastically.

They spent a nice afternoon together, watching the boy play at the edge of the water. Several times he walked back to one or the other of them, bringing an offering of sand or shells. Talk among them was light and varied, and they were surprised to note the sun was setting as they heard Tommy’s transport stop at the front.

Randall ran to him as the man came around the corner. "Pa!" waiting to be hoisted up and flown like a shuttle. Tommy gamely complied, even though the child was very wet and sandy. He brought the boy in for a landing, and leaned into his wife for a kiss.

"Hello, ladies. Nice to see you back with us again. How was your trip? And how is Ditto?"

He took a seat, and Randall was quite content to sit on his lap quietly and rest for a few minutes. Gwen answered his questions, and gave him an update on her father.

"Well, I hope he gets better pretty quick. He and I have a project to finish. But for now," he continued before they could ask, "I’d like to take the three special women in my life out to dinner. How ‘bout it?"

"That’s fine with me," Ella answered. "As long as we get to go home and clean up first. Somebody here needs a serious bath."

"Randi?" the man questioned, expecting her to take the lead.

She glanced to the bard. "It’s up to Gwen. It’s fine with me, though."

Gwen looked hard at the warrior, trying to figure out what was going on with her. Randi returned the stare with an impassive one of her own. The blonde gave up trying to fathom the thoughts running behind the mask, determined to ferret them out at the earliest opportunity. She faced Tommy squarely and nodded. "Thanks, T. We’d love to."

"Wonderful! We’ll be back in an hour to pick you up."

Randi walked the trio around to the front of the house. Ella had refused to take the child through the house, citing his disheveled appearance. Gwen said her goodbyes, cleaned up the deck area, and went inside. She stood waiting for the Marine to enter from the front, facing the door with her arms crossed on her chest. Randi’s face showed her surprise when she saw the bard standing there.

"Gwen, aren’t you gonna get ready? I thought you wanted to do this."

"Randi, we need to talk."

"Um, okay," not sure what had happened to bring this about. "But can we do it later? We need to get ready."

"That depends."

"On?"

"Do you really wanna do this?" A confused frown crossed the Sabre’s features. "I’m not sure what is going on with you, with us, Randi, but I’m getting all kinds of mixed signals from you. Now, do you want to do this?"

"Yes, I just didn’t want you to fell pressured or obligated."

"Pres.... Obli.... You’re right... we do need longer than we have right now to talk this out." She poked a finger into the warrior’s firm chest. "But we are gonna talk about this. Soon."

"Agreed," the warrior said, wondering what kind of mess she’d just managed to land in so firmly with both feet.

Dinner passed quickly and pleasantly between the four friends. Randall’s antics kept them in stitches, and it was fairly easy to avoid any uncomfortable subjects. It was very late when the Steeles dropped them at the front door.

"That was nice. We don’t do that nearly often enough."

"I know." The bard yawned. "I really wanted to stay up and talk to you tonight, but I’m beat. And since we need to go to work tomorrow... can we talk later?"

"Yeah," the warrior answered, grateful for the reprieve. "I’m always around, and you know where I live," she lightly joked.

"Smart ass!" Gwen replied, lightly smacking her in the stomach. "I’m headed up to bed. See ya in the morning. Night, Randi."

The Marine waved a hand in response, and watched the bard walk up the stairs to her room. "Good night, love," she whispered when the door closed behind her.

For the third night in a row, the bard tossed and turned in the big, empty bed. She fluffed the pillows... twice. Got up and got a drink of water. Pushed all the cover off, then pulled them all up over her head. Nothing helped. Even though she was exhausted, sleep eluded her.

Gently, she traced her fingers over the pillow in a now well-known pattern. She wracked her brain, trying desperately to figure out what was so familiar about the outline. Her hand continued to move, quite without her conscious permission, until the hypnotic rhythm lulled her to sleep just before dawn.

Gwen was quite grumpy when the alarm went of a couple hours later, but she grudgingly got out of bed and got on with her mornings ablutions. She tromped down the stairs, and Randi looked up wide-eyed at her when she caught the expression on the bard’s face.

"Good morning, Gwen," she said quietly. "Problem?"

"Yes," came the short answer. "I don’t know what is going on with you, but I want it to stop. I want things to go back to what they were before. I know something happened while I was with... Ben. There are things I can’t remember... other things that don’t make sense right now. But I’m gonna figure them out. In the meantime, I want my best friend back. Stop treating me like... like... whatever it is you’re treating me like! I don’t like it!" She rubbed a hand across her forehead. "And good morning, by the way, although it really isn’t." She sighed. "I have got the worst headache."

"Turn around."

Gwen complied with the low spoken command, and immediately felt a sense of relief as the large hands dug firmly into the knots in her neck and shoulders. "Ooooh," she moaned, "you have absolutely no idea how wonderful that feels. I haven’t slept the last three nights, and I think it’s starting to get to me. Sorry about the outburst, by the way. I wanted to talk about it, but I didn’t want to come off sounding like a harpy."

Randi smiled. "I’m glad you said something. I wasn’t sure what was going on with you, and I wanted to give you plenty of space to figure it out. I know he messed with your mind somehow. He told me as much."

"Yeah, and I’m gonna figure everything out. I’d just prefer we be normal. I need you close, not far away."

Blue eyes widened at the comment. "Good, because I’ve missed having my best friend around." A beat. "Now, why aren’t you sleeping?"

"I dunno, but it is starting to get to me in a very big way. C’mon, we need to get to work. Maybe we can try to figure it out this afternoon."

The warrior nodded her agreement.

Things had stacked up for both of them while they’d been gone, though Gwen’s class had continued on in her absence. The pile of things Randi had waiting for her, however, caused her to call down to the stable and have Excalibur saddled for her. "If I need to tour the place, I might as well enjoy it."

The stallion was happy to see her, mostly, and after a nip in scolding of her prolonged absence, was patient to stand by while the woman mounted. The ride was peaceful, and Randi was happy to see that things had been maintained so well while she’d been gone. It was coming on to lunchtime, and she decided to take the bard at her word. She angled the horse’s steps in the direction of the classroom, arriving just as mess call was announced. She watched as the classroom of eager beginners emptied out, leaving the teacher alone in the doorway.

"Hello there, stranger." The blondes shaded her eyes against the bright sunlight. "What are you doing in this neck of the woods?"

"I was out taking a look at things, and thought I’d mosey by, and see if you wanted a lift over to the mess hall." She grinned rakishly, and waggled her eyebrows. The blonde laughed, stepping out to meet her.

"Sure," raising her arm to be pulled up behind the warrior. She grinned at the comfortable familiarity the sensation gave her, then held on for dear life when Randi sent the stallion into a gallop.

It was quite a ride. The Sabre took the long, circular route to get back to the barn, and they’d spent the few minutes wiping down the horse catching their own breaths. "That was fun," Gwen commented with a laugh. "We should do that more often."

"Um... I don’t know that he’d be quite as anxious to run so hard if we did that everyday." The animal seemingly took affront to the comment, and stamped his hoof in protest. "Then again," Randi chuckled, "I could be entirely wrong about that." She set down the brush, and reached a hand toward Gwen. "C’mon. I’m starving, and I smelled roast beef cooking this morning."

"Oh yum! My favorite." She took the larger hand, and started pulling the tall woman with her. "Let’s go."

Their table was empty, and Tommy smiled when they walked in hand in hand. Maybe things are getting back to normal between them. Their interaction had been off at dinner the other evening, and he now observed them idly while he recalled an unrelated conversation he and Ella had had after they’d gotten home.

*********************************************************

"I don’t know what to make of it, hon." They had put Randall to bed, and were sitting on the patio enjoying the peace of a nightcap together. The night was warm, and the sky full of stars. The ocean breeze was salty, and they were glad of the opportunity for a bit of quiet time together.

"What to make of what, babe?" Tommy had been letting his mind wander, and had no actual clue what his wife was referring to.

"Gwen and Randi. I mean, something has obviously changed between them. It’s like it was before... before Randi came home." He nodded, but didn’t speak. "But, even stranger... Gwen has started telling stories again." Now his head whipped in her direction.

"Excuse me? Come again, please?"

It was her turn to nod solemnly. "It’s true. Not much, not like it was before, but I’ve heard her tell two very simple stories in the past few days. I’m curious to know what happened. It was peculiar to see."

"Hmm, yeah, I guess it would be. Well, we’ll keep an eye on them. We seem to have gotten pretty good at that over the years."

"Yeah," she smiled, "we have. But for right now," taking his glass from his hand and standing, "I want to concentrate on *us*." She reached her hand down and he took it in his own, rising and following her inside.

*********************************************************

He came back to the present with a start, and resumed his covert observation of the two women. Their interaction was much as it had been before they became committed lovers, though he sensed a new element in their relationship. It’s almost as if... as if Randi is making a conscious effort to court her bard this time. He wasn’t sure what exactly gave him that impression, but he’d be willing to bet the company on it. He smiled. He’d never known Randi to decide she wanted something without getting it. He sat back, grinning like a Cheshire cat, and crossed his arms over his chest. This is gonna be sweet to watch.

"Now I wonder what he is up to?" Randi posed the question to her companion as they ate. She’d caught the expression on Tommy’s face. It made her senses tingle.

"Who? The boss? Why does he have to be up to something?"

"He has the oddest look on his face. That usually means he’s up to something."

"Oh, I dunno... I’ve been accused having some pretty funny faces when I’ve been working on a story myself." She smiled impishly at the warrior, crinkling up her nose adorably. It was all Randi could do not to just lean over and....

"I dunno," she responded in kind. "I think you’re just too cute." She chuckled at the blush that crept up the bard’s face. "Maybe you will tell me a story later?"

"I’d like that. Seems like it’s been a long time since I told a story." She rubbed her head. "But then...." she trailed off and rubbed the back of her neck with one hand. Randi covered the other one, and squeezed it gently in concern.

"Gwen?"

"I’m sorry," the bard replied. "So much of my memory seems... almost hazy. It hurts to think about it."

"I’ll tell ya what.... You stop thinking in that direction for a while, and when we get home, I’ll give you a rubdown. How’s that sound?"

"Like heaven. I think I’ll keep ya."

"Oh you do, huh?" with a saucily raised brow. That had sounded a lot like her lover, and not just her best friend.

"Yep. Besides, that may help me get some sleep tonight. Now c’mon... we’ve both got work to finish, and I’ve got reading to do at home."

Randi’s second eyebrow joined the first, wondering what on earth was so pressing at home. Then she shrugged mentally. No doubt Gwen would share when she was ready. The Marine rose, picking up their trays and extending her elbow. "Shall we walk?"

The blonde linked her arm through Randi’s. "Yes, let’s."

It wasn’t afternoon, but early evening before the Marine finally left for home. Randi had work she needed to finish, so Gwen took the transport home when her class was over in the early part of the afternoon. She had reached the end of her first tenure with Midas, and finally found the answer to one question that had been plaguing her.

*********************************************************

I am going to send duplicates of these files and all the ones following to Mother for

*********************************************************

Well, that helps explain a thing or two, Gwen sighed to herself. I must have kept the habit, right up until.... She turned her mind away from unpleasant thoughts, and dove back into her diaries with determination.

When Randi called, indicating her soon-to-be-readiness to be picked up, Gwen was surprised to realize that the entire afternoon had passed with her reading. Even stranger were the relative lack of entries during the time she had been away from Randi. Then it occurred to her that she had been given her first written journal during that time, and realized it was time to pull the diaries from the box, and begin reading in them. Not right now though. First, she needed to pick up Randi. The Marine owed her a serious back massage.

"Go soak for a little while," the Sabre instructed Gwen when they re-entered the house. It was full dark, and they had the house open to catch the lovely breeze that was now blowing. The scent of the ocean was nice, and the sounds were soothing. "I’ll be up in about half an hour."

"Okay," the bard answered, already halfway up the stairs. She was glad. Something had been bugging her since she’d made the discovery about those files, and she needed to see if she could find a quick answer. She set the temperature and fill level on the tub, and walked back into the bedroom. She pulled out the books, and looked through their dates, noting that they were in reverse order.

"Figures," she muttered to herself, then opened the one on the bottom of the stack. She flipped through the pages quickly, skimming the entries til she found what she was looking for. "Ah ha!"

About midway through the first journal, she had made a note to herself. It was even highlighted, so she couldn’t miss it.

*********************************************************

**********************************************************

Gwen reflected on that summation for a bit, before she made a move for the bathroom. It was true, she understood, on a multitude of levels. The she stripped and stepped into the tub, sighing in blissful contentment as the warm water enfolded her. She closed her eyes.

A full thirty minutes passed before she heard a light knocking on the outer door. "Shit!" she muttered, then spoke in a louder voice. "C’mon in, Randi. It’s open. I won’t be but a minute." Quickly she bathed and rinsed, stepping out of the tub, and wrapping herself in a big fluffy towel.

Randi had her back to the bathroom door when the bard stepped out. She turned to face Gwen, then whipped back around to give the blonde a little privacy to dress.

"’K, Randi. I’m ready," Gwen mumbled from the bed.

The sight before her made blue eyes widen, and the Marine’s heartbeat to race. Randi swallowed hard, remembering the many times in the weeks she had been back that she’d been allowed to take the vision before her to passionate, carnal heights. And the many times the pleasure had been returned to her. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to assume a clinical attitude. Even then, she had to admire the strength of the muscular back, all the way down to the dimples just above the bard’s thin waist and shapely behind. The Sabre drew a deep breath, and oiled her hands.