Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Aphrodite, Alti and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction.

This story depicts a love/sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If you’re not supposed to read this – don’t. Otherwise, enjoy!

To my beta-reader, Skylark and all my special friends in the Xenaverse. I wrote this story right after the 2001 Xena Convention in Pasadena, a little over a year ago. It’s lovingly dedicated to two extremely beautiful and talented women, Alexandra Tydings and Claire Stansfield for giving Xenites worldwide what we’ve always wanted.

Throwing back her wild hair, Claire glanced across the room and noticed the sensual beauty reclining on the canopied bed with printed pages of fanfic scattered about the satin sheets. She caught her breath and whispered to herself.

As if she had heard something, Alex looked up. "Did you say something?"

Claire quickly looked away and made an effort to regain her composure. "Who me?"

"Sorry, must be my imagination," remarked Alex, shrugging her shoulders.

Fixated by the vision of loveliness, Claire stole another look.

Certain her uneasiness was showing, Claire quickly changed the subject. "What do think those fans would say if they knew we were having this Triple XXX meeting in your bedroom?"

Sipping a glass of Ambrosia of the Gods wine, Alex answered innocently. "That we were having a slumber party?"

"Yeah, right. We have been to enough cons now to know where their minds are."

"They do have a one-track mind, don’t they," smirked Alex, remembering their last performance.

By the way," Claire continued, "that hot pink number you’re wearing looks fantastic."

"I’m so glad you like it. I stole it from wardrobe at Renaissance Pictures. I had to take some treasure with me when I left the show."

"You stole it?" Claire feigned shock.

"I’m afraid so. What did you bring?"

Claire ripped off her coat. "Will this do?"

Alex’s eyes lit up. "I remember that, your ‘in bed with Caesar outfit’ from "When Fates Collide. You look so sexy, Claire! That should help us get into character…and then some."

Claire jumped into bed with Alex, smiled at her seductively and taunted Alex with her lips as if she were going to kiss her. Suddenly she pulled away, poured a glass of wine and teased. "We better get to work."

"Say, just cause you got to boss Claudia and I around directing "Taboo" doesn’t mean you can still call the shots."

"From what I recall, you two didn’t need much direction. Even when I yelled ‘Cut’, you didn't - you just passionately kept right at it. I heard the uncut, uncensored version is sold out."

Alex batted her heavenly eyelashes. "See what a great director you are inspiring us like that? Besides, if the true uncut, uncensored version were released, our fans would see you hopping right into bed with us."

"It’s what any woman would do. Well … almost…" Claire smiled.

"I guess we’re just going to have to film a sequel. Say…" added the blonde mischievously, "why don’t we call Claudia right now."

"That sounds tempting, but not tonight … this Triple XXX Review is giving me a headache. We must decide what racy bits of fanfic we’re going to read in Pasadena. Let’s just get this over with."

Attempting to mask her frustration, Alex shuffled the pages of fanfic and sighed. "Okay, if that’s what you want to do."

Ever so gently, Claire ran her hand through Alex’s golden halo of hair. "I think you know what I want. Think you can be patient for once … it will help me get rid of my headache."

"Well, like Callisto said, 'Patience is a virtue.’ Let’s rock and roll with the Triple XXX … You know, I’ve been pouring over fan fiction at MaryD’s and ForevaXena’s all day and by the gods, I think I need a cold shower." Excitedly, Alex fanned herself with some of the printed pages.

"Me too!" Those bards are horny little devils. I haven’t had so much fun since my wild and wicked days." Claire lets out an evil Alti laugh.

"That isn’t what you said last night," Alex replied with a lascivious grin.

"Ah, yes…last night! You haven’t lost your potent charm either, Dite."

"I told you not to call me that. We’ve done such a clever job of fooling the fans so far, Claire."

"Don’t worry, Dite - no one’s here but you and me and you know how much I like it when you call out my name. Let me hear it…"

"After all your teasing? I dunno…"

"Please…my beautiful goddess of love?"

Aphrodite laughed. "If Xena could see you now – the wicked shamaness, Alti, groveling at my feet. You’re right though, if we don’t get to work, we’ll have some disappointed fans. We really brought the house down last year and we’ve gotta find something exceptional to top that."

Claire put her hands on her hips. "Aphrodite, you’re the biggest tease not me!"

"Moi? You know you love every minute of it. Besides, when we’re finished, I have a surprise for you."

"You do? What is it?" Alti grew excited.

"Well, if I told you that…" Aphrodite giggled impishly and buried her head in the pages of fanfic.

Alti grew increasingly agitated. "Just be glad that I don’t have the power to kill gods or you’d be a goner."

Aphrodite teased. "Oh, I’m so scared."

Alti sulked and hung her head down. "Son of a Bacchae! I must be loosing my touch."

Aphrodite picked up the mystic’s chin with her soft touch. "Alti, you know I was only joking … you know I long for your touch. Okay, let’ do it!"

"Alright!" Alti attempted to kiss Aphrodite but the goddess pulled away.

"I mean the fan fiction, sweetheart."

"And they call me a bitch? Oh, all right. So, what did you find?"

"You aren’t going to believe this, but this bard, Zeta, wrote a story about us."

"Zeta? Say isn’t she the bard we called from that bar at Dragon Con with that Xena look-a-like, Deborah? Praise Hestia, a story about us!"

The goddess was infuriated. "Hey, how dare you exalt another goddess, you bad bad shamaness!"

"Sorry, Mistress … I mean Goddess."

"Good girl - besides, Hestia and I never got along - she was just too virginal for me."

"Well, even I’m Snow White compared to you," proclaimed the seer.

Aphrodite gasped in shock. "How could you say such a thing?"

"Let’s get this over with so I can have my surprise," commanded Alti.

"Whatever Alti wants, Alti gets … eventually."

Alti flashed the infamous stare. "If you don’t behave, you’re the one that’s gonna get it and I mean now."

"Alti, you know I hate it when you look at me like that, the only time I like seeing you wicked is in the bedroom."

Alti looked around. "And where are we now?"

"Don’t you dare patronize me." Fed up, the goddess raised her hand in a bewitching motion and scattered sparkling dust on Alti. Alti became ethereal.

The celestial one was pleased. "That’s better."

Aphrodite returned her gaze to the pages of fanfic and suddenly a perplexed look appeared on her face. "There’s no way we can enact the entire story, it’s an epic piece. Let’s just pick one of the good parts…and there are so many. She’s got us doing it everywhere – at the top of the Arcadian Mountains, center stage at the Acropolis, some flea bag inn at Thebes, this gloomy cave in India, on Olympus, and even in Gabrielle’s bedroom in Potadeia."

"Gabrielle’s bedroom? Oh, I like that one."

"Strangely enough, so do I, but I think I’ve found the perfect scenario … our first time. Do you remember?"

"How could I ever forget?" Alti grasped the goddess’ hand and tenderly kissed it.

"Awww … makes me feel like I’m really doing my job."

"And a good one at that. You know you’re good."

"Well, Xena isn’t the only one who has many skills! Enough of this, we have to finish this tonight. Remember that Claudia is coming over in the morning and we’re going to work on "Hourglass."

Alti snapped sarcastically. "What a match made on Olympus."

"Whoa … I never would have pegged you for the jealous type."

I’m not jealous but just remember, I’m meeting with Callisto tomorrow about that movie, ‘Several Devils.’"

Aphrodite stated smugly. "Well, don’t forget, I’m the goddess of love, I know nothing is going to happen between you and Callisto."

"Well, maybe not in this lifetime – Ayesha Blackthorne and Chris Michaels aren’t the only ones who can time travel you know."

Aphrodite yawned. "I’m so tired of playing this mortal game. Let’s drop it and get back to this damn fan fiction. I’ll read the part of Aphrodite and you read the part of Alti."

Alti was irritated. "No kidding! You know, sometimes you are such a space cadet, Dite."

Aphrodite threw more magic dust on Alti. "Take that!"

Alti was mushy once again. "Oh, but I do love that about you."

"Much better. Now, here’s a little background on this story … looks like we met right after you were inside of Xena." The goddess batted her eyelashes again. "You had deceived Xena and Gabrielle and the Amazons and they thought you were dead. Bloodlust in your eyes, you went to hunt them down and that’s when you ran into me. You tried to be your evil self but I slipped you a magic potion and you grew as gentle as a lamb. It begins to rain and we seek shelter in a deserted Amazon hut, Queen Gabrielle’s hut.

Aphrodite begins to read the fanfic:

Alti glanced in Aphrodite’s direction and saw her sitting on the canopied bed, her tantalizing body wrapped only in a towel.

Gods, the goddess of love is astoundingly beautiful tonight, thought Alti.

Sensing it was no ordinary night, a wind of desire swept over her and erotic light shined from her eyes. What a temptation to pull the towel off and…

Curiously aroused, Alti inquired. "Does this bard Zeta have a webcam or what? She wasn’t far off was she?"

"Mystical, isn’t it? Say, do you think Creation would let us put a bed on stage at the con?"

Alti’s menacing stare surfaced again. "I don’t think they will fucking refuse me. Do you?"

Aphrodite agreed totally. "No way!"

The shamaness picked up the story now:

Aphrodite glanced up, but Alti resisted being seduced by her captivating eyes. Suddenly, Alti felt a mysterious magnetic energy caress her and then pull her across the room, commanding her to sit next to the enticing goddess of love on the bed. Aphrodite lay back on the bed and began to speak, her voice trembling a bit.

APHRODITE: I don’t know how to tell you this, but I find myself extremely attracted to you.

ALTI: I never thought I could derive any pleasure from another woman, but I’m fantasizing what your heavenly lips would feel like upon mine … what your tantalizing body would feel like pressed against mine. I want you, Aphrodite!

APHRODITE: After Gabrielle, I never thought I’d desire another woman. You are such a surprise! I long to feel your arms around me and your lips pressed upon mine. Are you ready for that?

ALTI: Yes, Aphrodite, I’m ready.

Their erotic eyes meet.

"That’s just what I wanted to hear. Now, it’s time for your surprise. Come here, Alti – my body is on fire."

Furiously, they tossed the fan fiction.

Her flesh throbbing, Alti moaned. "Goddess of Love, you make my mouth water."

"Take me, I’m yours!"

The shamaness captured the heavenly creature in her commanding arms, kissed her passionately on the lips and tasted the sweetness of her tongue. Slowly and provocatively, they made love through the misty and magical moonlit night.

Candlemarks later, Alti buried her head in the goddess’ voluptuous chest and rested.

The goddess was insatiable though. "Say, Alti – I just had a thought. Why don’t we call Claudia after all?"

Alti laughed. "Dite, you are so predictable. While we’re at it, why don’t we give Callisto a call as well."

"I have an even better idea." Aphrodite picked up the phone and dialed.

A voice on the other end answers, "Hello?"

With her potent aura of appeal, the goddess whispered seductively in the phone.

"Hi, it’s Aphrodite and Alti. Gabrielle, what are you and Xena up to tonight?"

(The stage goes dark at the Pasadena Convention Center and the house roars!)