Disclaimers: The characters of Xena: Warrior Princess and all other associated with the television series of the same name are owned by MCA/ Universal Pictures. This is a work of fan fiction and no copyright infringement is intended.

Subtext: I guess with my writing so far we'll just quit calling it subtext and call it maintext. Yes they are in love with each other.

Sex: None

Violence: None

Language: None

Spoilers: Not really. Just Gabrielle musing.

Other: This takes place somewhere after "Animal Attraction". Comments may be made to TNOVAN@aol.com


I Remember…

By T.Novan


I remember a time when I never woke this easily. I remember a time when I would grouse and growl about getting up. It’s amazing how much things change.

I’m not sure what it was that woke me. I think it was nothing more than a deer that had wandered too close to our camp, but all I know is, I am awake now. Content to keep watch and guard over her and our camp. Just as she did for me for so many years.

I smile, as I toss another log on the fire and look to our bedroll. Xena sleeps there now, so peacefully, so soundly. I see the slight swell of her stomach and I smile again.

She swears she doesn’t know how this happened and that she hasn’t betrayed me. At first I didn’t believe her. How could I?

Then my mind settled on the news and I remembered back to a painful time in my own past. She believed me. Why shouldn’t I believe her?

She says this child is good. I have to believe that too.

Why? You might ask, when she didn’t give my own child a chance. Because, over the years I’ve learned to trust her. She didn’t trust Hope because she sensed the child was evil.

She was right.

She says this child is good. I feel it too. This child is good and I love it as if it were my own. I love this child, because I love its mother.

I shake my head as she tosses the blankets off again. Rising to my feet, I cross to her and recover her, giving her a kiss on the forehead as she growls at me in her sleep. She still thinks she intimidates me. She’s wrong, but I let her think that.

Everyday that the child grows within her, she becomes more beautiful. She’s been very amusing lately too. The battles with morning nausea have been something that we’ve had to overcome. I’ve discovered that a warm cup of tea with mint and a little bread work best for her, but being her stubborn self she’s always looking for something that will cure it.

She wasn’t happy with me when I teased her and told her, the cure wouldn’t arrive for another six months or so. I have to remember that her emotions are totally out of control right now too.

I hate it when she cries and she cries at the drop of a hat these days. Teasing has to be done very carefully.

I settle down next to her, leaning on a rock as she sleeps. She knows I’m close and she curls up with her head in my lap. I can at least keep watch and keep her covered at the same time.

I don’t like sleeping outside now. I would prefer an inn especially now that we have the baby on the way. That’s funny. Listen to me, now that ‘we’ have the baby on the way.

Actually ‘we’ do have a baby on the way. Xena and I have been together for so long and there is no father in the picture, so I guess this child will grow up with two mothers. We are a family and that’s all that matters.

I wonder if Xena will want to settle down. I can’t imagine staying on the road with a baby. However, if there is a way to make it work my partner will find it.

She’s already started crafting carriers for the baby. Harnesses that we can wear to keep the baby close to us. I actually caught her trying to make little deerskin booties the other night, but she was quick to hide them and I didn’t mention it.

I watch the peaceful expression on her face and know that the child has put it there. She’s happy. The nightmares that plagued us for so long are all but gone now. My fingers comb thoughtlessly through her hair as she snuggles closer to me.

Since she got pregnant she wants to be closer to me. She wants to touch me and snuggle with me more now. She’s become very affectionate since this happened. She’s more at peace. That makes it easier on her I think to relax and be the person that she really is.

I can feel her stomach close to my leg and the baby is kicking. What a joyous feeling that was, the first night she noticed movement. I was fixing our meal and she rushed over from her bath and placed my hands on her stomach. We stood there looking at each other, feeling the child move within her.

She leaned in and kissed me. We came together in yet another way I never thought possible. It was the perfect kiss. That was the night that I knew and accepted all of this.

I watch her sleep.

I remember.

I remember the young woman who followed Xena the great Warrior Princess. The young woman who wanted to be just like the strong woman who rescued her from a life that was less than bearable.

I remember the woman who learned quickly that Xena was not to be trifled with. The woman who leaned that the warrior had a temper and that it could and would be unleashed at any moment.

She guided me. She taught me. She let me follow.

I remember the girl.

The bard.

The student.

The amazon.

I remember falling in love with her. I remember our first night together and every night since.

At some point I became the followed. While I tried to find my path, she followed. She never doubted me. She stayed with me even when I was lost and confused.

I asked her why. Her response was simple.

"Because I remember. Because I love you. Because I will never leave you. Because we are soul mates."

So now we face the future as equals, walking together into whatever the fates hold for us.

We will love and raise this child.

Because, I remember.

Because, I love her.

Because, I will never leave her.

Because we are soul mates.

I smile again as I cover her back up and she snuggles closer. The sun begins to rise, giving us another day to love each other and grow closer.

I remember.


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