Disclaimers: The characters do not belong to me. They belong to MCA/Universal. This is a work of fan fiction, no copyright infringement is intended. I'm not making any money here, just having some fun.
Subtext: Yes. They are in love, with each other...
My Heart Will Go On
It's been a month now. I still hurt inside, but it's slowly becoming a dull ache. It's not the sharp, blinding pain that it was in the begining. It just a slow, dull ache that I feel though every fiber of my being. I'm sure it will be with me forever now that you are gone.
Sometimes I catch you, out of the corner of my eye. You're there watching out for me just as you always did. Our friends tell me it is my grief over losing you, but I know. I know the truth. You're never far away from me.
I can feel your eyes on me, feel your breath on my skin. At night I feel you laying with me as always, curled up next to me, so content and so happy. You come to me in my dreams and we are together again even if it only for the few hours that I slumber. For the first time in my life, I welcome sleep.
I've crossed the line more times than I can count now, from mad to sane and back again. I'm sane. I know I am because it still hurts. If I were truly mad the pain would be gone. In an odd way I welcome the pain because it means I'm still sane.
I believed for the longest time that I would not be able to survive without you. You gave me so much I was sure my life would end only moments behind yours. Now I know that I will survive and it's because of what you gave me. Strength, peace, love...a will to live.
I like to think that you're proud of me for the way I've managed to go on. Granted my life is not as full now. Being alone isn't easy. There is a terrible hole in my heart that will never be refilled, but it still beats. A little slower now because you're not here. The mere sight of you used to make it beat twice as hard as it should have. You always had that effect on me even from the very first day. The memory of it makes me smile.
So many of my memories of you make me smile. Even when we were at our worst, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. As I lay here tonight watching the stars, I miss you. I still see them because you showed them to me, but they're not as bright as they used to be.
I feel myself drifting to sleep. I know because I can feel you with me again. As I fall further into the abyss of sleep I feel you catch me. We are together again, until morning. I know that in the morning I will be able to get up and face another day because it will give me another night.
It's because of the nights, my bard that I will not become that monster you so feared. I know because you were in my life, because you were my life that my heart will go on.
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