Chapter Nineteen

Adventures in the Heartland

 

I'm going to kill her, Tony thought.

"Come on, please?" Casey begged with puppy dog eyes. She hadn't stopped begging since Cadence had told them all about the warrior story.

Tony shot daggers at Cadence then turned to face Casey, 'no' on the edge of her lips. But, seeing Casey's pleading eyes she just sighed and gave in. "Fine, what kind of story do you want to hear?"

"Yes!" Casey pumped her fist in the air and smiled triumphantly.

Tony rolled her eyes. "Well?"

"Something scary," Casey said thoughtfully as she twisted her eyebrow stud. "With tons of blood and guts."

"Romantic," Cadence suggested and Casey rolled her eyes.

"Action packed. Definitely action," Ripper grinned at Tony.

"Fine. But I'm not standing on the couch like some kind of stage." Tony shifted so her feet were crossed Indian style. Her mind blanked out for a minute as they all clamored to sit around her like anxious kindergartners at storybook time.

Ripper casually slouched into the spot beside Tony, and Casey jumped to the other side, nearly plowing Cadence over in her haste to squeeze in on the small couch.

Great... I have to entertain six panthers. What if they don't like it? Do I get stalked and killed? Geesh... concentrate. Tony cleared her throat, stalling for time, and glanced at the assembled girls.

She didn't know Tish, Molly, or Dorsey well at all. Shane wasn't even there. Forget it, what kind of story would I want to hear?

"The year was 1742," she began hesitantly, grasping for the wisp of a story that had floated and bounced around in her head for weeks now.

Go with it, her instincts said.

"She was born that year, a child with eyes of gray, and hair the color of golden sunshine. The baby's parents, poor, simple Irishmen, had become indentured servants to earn passage to the Americas - "

"Hey," Casey interrupted. "We don't want to hear a story about babies and families!"

"Good." Tony smiled, but her next words held irritation. "Cause it's far from babies. Now be quiet and listen."

Ahh, the power, she thought, as they all subtly straightened and leaned forward, even Casey.

"Where was I?" She closed her eyes and returned to her vantage point, the ship.

"As dawn broke and the wind billowed in the massive sails, nothing could be heard but the creaking of the worn planks and the screams of a solitary gull. A truly bad omen.

"The baby and her parents were on a ship, headed to a land that people said was paved with gold. Michael, the baby's father, had worked hard for this. Had spent his whole life farming another mans land to finally break away and seek passage on The Conqueror. Sarah, his wife, prayed one day for a house of her own, a little garden to plow... but they would never make it to the freedom land." Tony paused, letting the anticipation build.

"Sarah was only to hold her baby one time before the pirates came." Tony took a breath, eyes wide, as she swept her eyes across the room, surprised to find a pack of panthers eating up her every word.

"Ruthlessly the pirates sent cannon ball after cannon ball into the sides of the ship, the sound like hundreds of thunderbolts, the smell like a burning forest after the lightning. The air was so thick with smoke and flying debris that no one could see as the pirates boarded and viciously cut down everyone in their path.

"As the tyrants slaughtered everything in sight Michael fought, with all his strength, but he knew they couldn't win. Desperately he ran to find a hiding place for his wife and child. As he ran a knife was flung into his back and he could only watch helplessly as his wife ran on without him. His dying breath was a prayer that they would survive." Tony's voice rose, her excitement and horror at her own tale unfolding lending tension to the air. The others sat forward eagerly.

"Somehow Sarah hid the child and distracted the pirates. I will not tell you the rage that followed as the pirates took Sarah-"

"Hey!" Casey cried. "Wha-"

"Shut up!" Ripper whapped the spike-haired girl upside the head then turned back to give Tony an encouraging smile. "Go on."

Tony just smiled and re-arranged her legs so they wouldn't cramp up. "So... the women were taken as slaves, chained, and dragged away like animals. The men had been slaughtered and the bounty was now aboard the pirate ship, leaving only a tiny baby in a broken crate. Abandoned and alone.

"The Conqueror was slowly sinking. And, if not for the calm seas it would only be a matter of hours before the sea conquered it.

"But, on this day in history the gods were watching over a child with golden hair, and no more then half-a-day later a simple fishing boat came upon the wreckage. The captain of The Princess was a wrinkled and wizened old sailor, that had seen more then he'd ever cared to on the high seas.

"He was ready to pass the Conqueror by when he heard a shrill wailing. First he thought it a bird, but the wind in his sails suddenly ceased and the boat slowed. With nothing but the creak of the bulkhead he listened again."

Tony's head tilted to the side, as if she too were listening. She cupped a hand to her ear. "A baby? Surely not. But he gathered two of his men and went in search. He found the child in her crate as it floated in the rapidly rising waters of the hold. Any later and there would be nothing to rescue.

"Without a second thought he scooped the screaming baby in his arms and returned with her to his boat, The Princess." Tony took a moment to clear her throat and gather her thoughts.

"Hardened and old though he was he raised the girl child as his own. With a soft heart and gentle touch his hatred for the people who had pirated the Conqueror was the only dark thing in the child's life.

"Twenty years passed. Granted they weren't all wonderful. A storm here, and sickness... but the girl had a will to live. And live she did, growing strong with the salty wind in her hair, and the sun shining down upon her sweet face.

"Though the old man had never given her a name, she loved him like a grandfather. Like the only parent she had never known. But, deep within her restless soul she yearned for her real family, for a name. A place where she belonged."

Silence reigned as Tony drew in a long breath.

"No one knew." She let that mournful sentence hang a moment, drawing the panthers into the mystery, into the solitude that was her heroine. "So, one day, in

a port in Africa, she stepped onto the shore, strode into the village, and did not return."

 

 

 

 

As the Harley roared down the highway it's engine reverberated through Shane's thighs like the powerful stride of a wild stallion. A ferocious grin lit her dark face under the helmet and she reveled in the feel of the wind surging around and against her body.

She wanted to feel the wind, like exotic fingers through her hair, but out of state it was illegal, so she just kept winding through the mountain road, clinging desperately to it's tenuous beauty.

The dark night called to her, and whispered promises it could never keep.

Ride forever, the wind in the trees howled. Gather me in your arms, and race toward freedom.

But, for good or bad, she was tied forever to the Panthers, and to the city.

One day, she thought. One day I'll take this bike and I'll go... Charley wanted to see the west coast, but I think I could just lose myself in the desert. Live off cactus juice and snake meat...

Ewww, she grimaced under the helmet and slowed around the curving mountain road.

Brilliant, gem green eyes sparkled in her memory and for a fleeting moment she could feel Tony's arms around her waist. Would you come with me? she wondered.

Shane quickly banished those thoughts to the dark recesses of her mind, and as the moon broke free of the clouds and glimmered down on the dark asphalt she realized there were only a few more miles to go.

 

 

 

 

"A few miles inland the girl-with-no-name came upon a small village of natives." Tony shifted her legs again, grimacing slightly as her left foot tingled with pins and needles. "As different as night and day they were. A young woman with fair skin, hair of gold and eyes of steel, and dark, painted natives in well worn leathers and skins.

"At first the natives were suspicious. A white woman! Was she a slaver? A missionary? Had she come to preach about the silly white man's one God?

"No one could understand the other. But as time passed and she learned their language that barrier was broken. She stayed with them for many seasons, learning how to survive in the wilds of Africa and earning the respect of the people with her intelligence, strength and courage.

"On a still day, when even the wind across the desert plains was silent a trader came. She carried mostly dried meat and spices, but, Oni Nabel, was also a storyteller.

"One night as Oni sat by the main fire she told the story of the Ancient City of Golia. The golden haired girl listened, enraptured, as the story of a once proud city unfolded before her. The citizens of Golia were pale skinned and light haired. Could it be? Were they her ancestors?

"As the story finished and the natives returned to their own fires and huts the girl approached Oni with many questions. Oni answered them as best she could, but still the girl found the answers lacking.

"'What is it you seek, young one?' Oni asked the girl. And she replied honestly that she did not know. A deal was made. Oni would help the girl find the ancient city if she would protect Oni from bandits on the road. The girl agreed.

"'Wait,' Oni said. 'What do they call you?' The girl seemed puzzled. 'Your name?' the trader asked.

"The girl shook her head. 'I have no name, but here they call me Shi'amila.'

"'Shi'amila.' The strange word tumbled thickly off the traders tongue. 'What does it mean?'

"The girl smiled. 'It means white mystery.'

"'It suits you,' Oni said and bid the girl goodnight. The next morning, before the sun had risen, they set off on their journey into the deep wilds of Africa, on what the natives called a 'wild pig hunt.'" Tony stretched and cleared her throat.

"So, what happened?" Casey asked as the silence stretched a little bit longer.

Tony sighed, and passed her hand over dried lips. "I need a drink first, then I'll tell the rest of the story."

Casey leapt up and went to the cooler. She returned with a beer. "Here ya go."

No way, Jose! I've had enough beer to last me a lifetime. Grimacing and wrinkling her nose, Tony pushed the beer aside. "I need some water. Anyone want to head over to the BP with me?"

"I'll go," Cadence offered.

They all ended up walking out of the abandoned apartments and down a block to the BP. And they all ended up with pop or water, sitting on the curb and waiting till Tony had gotten through to her Gram and explained that she was staying at Casey's house that night.

After the call Tony plopped down on the edge of the sidewalk between Ripper and Cadence. She chugged down half the water before she was ready to begin telling the story again.

 

 

 

 

Almost there. Shane sighed.

The gates loomed up ahead like demon's fingers in the night. Sharp and pointy they stretched out to the star-filled sky, dark and foreboding.

Shane slowed as she came to the familiar dip in the road. She knew this road well, had traveled it enough times to ride it in her sleep, yet still her heart raced into her throat.

Each time a little voice begged her to turn back and go home.

It's not like she even knows I'm here... Why do I bother?

But you know...

 

 

 

 

"The journey through the desert to the jungle was dry and dusty, long and treacherous. Yet the real danger didn't begin until they set foot into the humid jungle. Any path that might have existed was long overgrown by hundreds of years of plant growth. Poisonous snakes of every kind slithered in the tall ferns and hung from the trees.

"Machete in hand Shi struck down vines and branches, ferocious jungle cats and man eating boars that fought their every step. Beaten, bruised and bloody Oni and Shi reached the middle of the jungle where the Ancient City of Golia was."

 

 

 

 

"Evening, Miss Delante." The security guard nodded briefly at the young woman, as he stood just outside the doorway of the tiny guard station, with clipboard in hand.

Charon's keeping order tonight, the wicked thought crossed the teen's mind as he scribbled something down.

"Hey, Chambers." Shane smiled warily.

He smiled back and waved her through. The gate squealed slowly open, sounding as if the hounds of hell were fighting over a tasty piece of meat. She gunned the Harley's engine and tore down the main road.

Shane roared into the deserted front parking area and cut the engine. After kicking down the stand she hopped off and took the stairs two at a time up to the gun metal gray, double doors.

‘Paskill Peak Institution,’ stood out in small black letters on a gleaming brass plaque.

Like you can't tell by the bars on the windows, the sterile whiteness or the security guards that this is a mental institution...

‘Mental’... the word still sent shivers up her spine.

Reluctantly she pulled open the front door and stepped inside the sterile white confines of the front lobby. Bright lights showed off the cracked and peeling tile floor, faded, plastic chairs lined the walls and a large desk/reception area held court against the back wall. A nurse and the secretary sat behind it, going over papers and talking on the phone. As Shane approached the secretary looked up. She smiled briefly, gave the teen a 'thumbs-up' sign and nodded her through.

Great security... but then they were expecting me. Shane nodded politely, and gave what would, at best, be considered a snarl, to the guard as he unlocked the door to the hallway.

Then she stepped through and didn't look back.

 

 

 

 

"Beneath the ravages of time; vines, trees and a crumbling archway Oni and Shi entered the ruins. All around them little rocks tumbled from the sagging walls, monkeys skittered through the brush and snakes slithered through tall grasses.

"They chopped their way through with machetes till they were at the entrance of a temple. The pillars were crumbling around them as they parted the vines and stepped inside." Tony's arms spread wide as she parted the vines in her mind. Briefly she closed her eyes, seeing flashes of shattered clay, an alter, covered either in ancient dark dirt, or blood. She shivered and, once again continued her tale in a soft voice.

"Time had scoured paint and artwork from crumbling, vine covered walls. Urns, vases all lay smashed and shattered, brown as the earth they were half buried in.

"Oni wanted to turn back, but Shi felt the ancient city calling to her. Golia, the only city in the deepest, darkest jungles of Africa that held the mystery of white men. Supposedly the only white city in all of Africa, in it's time. Sure she'd find her name and her family here, and that all her questions would be answered Shi began to search the ruins for any tell-tale signs of life."

 

 

 

 

Shane pushed open the door and stepped into sterile silence. She cast her eyes over two beige, plastic chairs, a single, dying plant in the windowsill, nightstand, the closet door, and finally the bed.

Slowly she made her way across the room, and stood, staring at the lone figure that took up less then a third of the bed- face pale and gaunt, long, dark hair cascading over the white pillow case and sheet.

With a bone weary sigh Shane pulled one of the beige chairs up to the bedside and sat down. She took the woman's pale hand in hers and rested her elbows on the sheet.

Why?

So many questions, so few answers... but all Shane could do was hold the woman's cold hand in hers and rest it's palm against her cheek. Trembling, she let the hand drop away and lowered her head to the side of the mattress.

Why?

You know why, a little voice chided. You've always known why.

"Not my fault," Shane whispered raggedly, tears falling against the white sheet with seemingly unnatural loudness.

Yes, your fault....

 

 

 

 

"Shi and Oni made their way further into the city, looking for... anything. Something to mark this as Golia, something to show where they were. But, everywhere they turned the stone walls were blank. Not a single inscription, not even graffiti.

"After days of searching through brambled vines and tangled brush the golden haired girl let out a scream of outrage and shook her fists at the gods. 'How dare you torment me like this?' she asked them. 'How dare you lead me here... to find... nothing?' Her voice rose and echoed off the naked walls and empty chambers.

"Oni's fear grew so great that she laid a hand on Shi's shoulder and begged her to stop. She said it was time to leave and return home.

"'But, I have no home, Oni,' Shi cried plaintively. 'I came here to find one.'

"Wide eyed Oni looked at her friend. 'You came here to find your home?' Oni asked, and Shi simply nodded as the rage faltered and her heart grew heavy.

"'My parents where killed when I was a babe. They left me no home and no name,' Shi explained. 'I- I thought that since the people of Golia were fair skinned and light haired , like me, that I would find... something.' And Shi turned away from the one person that could possibly understand.

"Oni stubbornly crossed her arms. 'Look at me,' Oni demanded."

 

 

 

 

Look at me. This is bullshit, Shane thought.

"Why do I come here?" Fighting further tears, Shane reached up a shaking hand and brushed the woman's dark bangs back from her forehead. "To lay blame on myself? To lay blame on someone who can't even defend herself?"

The woman on the bed was as still and as silent as ever. No answers poured forth from her pale lips.

"Just once, open your eyes." Shane begged, lowering her head and squeezing her eyes shut, forbidding further tears to fall. "I have so many questions... so many things you should have told me..."

 

 

 

 

Tony rolled her shoulders and thought hard for a second. The story was coming to an end, but just what would that end be? "Oni was angry now. 'What of the sailor that rescued you?' she asked. 'What of the natives that feed you, taught you and loved you?'

"Shi looked away, because deep in her heart she knew these things. 'Tis not the same,' she tried to explain. 'I have no family.'

"'What of me then?' Oni asked bewildered. 'What of me?'"

 

 

 

 

Shane stood abruptly and pushed the beige chair back to it's little corner, turning to leave. At the door she paused, laying a shaking hand against the doorframe, steadying herself and the decision she was about to make. She turned back to look at the woman.

 

 

 

 

"'Am I not your family?' Oni asked. Shi looked back from whence they came, the journey, the bloodshed, the bond that had been formed. Her eyebrows rose as the revelation struck her.

"Shi smiled and looked deep into the eyes of her friend. 'Throughout this journey I searched for my family, for a name...'" Here Tony paused and eyed the panthers sitting all around her. Somehow some thing was missing. Tony hesitated, then took a deep breath.

"The women looked at one another for a long moment. Together they finished the thought... 'when all along my family walked right beside me.'"

 

 

 

 

"I can't do this anymore." Shane's voice trembled and cracked. "I can't keep coming back here." Angrily she wiped the tears from her eyes and reached for the cold, metal knob.

She was halfway out the door when she risked one last look. Hoping. Wishing... for something that would never happen...

Tears clouding her eyes she called 'good-bye' over her shoulder.

I love you... mom.

 

 

 

 

"Is that the end of the story?" Casey asked as Tony stood wearily and stretched.

"Yup," Tony replied. She looked at the wrinkles forming between Casey's eyebrows and quickly held up her hand. "It wasn't about the story, Case, it was about the journey."

"Huh? I don't get it."

Tony looked helplessly at Cadence, begging for a little help. It came from an unexpected source. Ripper.

"The story was about finding what you already have." Ripper said it casually as she stood and brushed scraps of road dirt off her pants. "Shi was searching for something that was right in front of her the whole time."

"Ok..." Casey finally said. "I get it." Not!

Tony grinned. She suspected that Casey had wanted a lot more blood and guts. Ah well, she didn't care. "Um, Case, mind if I stay at your place tonight?"

"No prob. Mom luvs ya."

They said their good byes, and each headed in their own separate directions, the story lingering in each of their minds, for different reasons.

 

 

 

 

Shane prowled the mountain roads like an anxious cat, guarding her territory. Several thoughts sped through her mind, most centering around her mother. A stray thought of Tony popped into her mind's eye and she turned it over for a few seconds before discarding it.

Tony was fine, she assured herself. But, the niggling premonition that all was not well caused her fingers to clutch the throttle in a white knuckled grip.

Dark trees and even darker shadows passed by in a blur. Tears coursed freely down her cheeks.

Everything and nothing ran rampant through sudden memories, like a slide show of her life.

Charley, pink and ugly, nestled in her mother's arms that first day he came home. Mum, dad, Charley, her... on a picnic in the park. Picnics every Sunday. Growing up, everything changing.

Charley dying.

Mum dying, yet still alive, trapped in a nearly lifeless shell... Dad... daddy dying too like mum, yet different... and her... all alone.

And suddenly, there was Tony, scrambling in the darkness of the tunnels to find her. And what had she found, but a broken good for nothing child letting loose her demons on a hapless wall and an innocent soul.

Tony. Where are you tonight?

City lights loomed, sparkling, around the next curve.

I need you...

Her soul cried out. Her heart begged, but, as she entered the city limits and shifted the bike down a gear she found she was drawn, inexplicably to the tunnels.

And so she spent a night amidst darkness, cobwebs and spiders, tears leaving pale streaks down road dusty cheeks; refusing to seek out the light.

 

 

 

 

I can't see, Tony realized. Why can't I see? Because it's dark. So, where am I? Casey's house, right? Right. Am I dreaming?

She turned her head left and right, but still there was only darkness. The neon green and blue of the downstairs bar would be coming in the window, she remembered.

Tony didn't dare move. What if there was a hole? What if there was something to trip over? What if it was a dead body... oh god. Her heart leapt into her throat and left her gasping for breath.

Wake up! Wake up!

She could feel it now, that tiny breath that blows across your neck when someone's sneaking up on you. But she couldn't see it, couldn't turn, because she was terrified.

Mom?

Something thin and cold raked across Tony's neck. She screamed and leapt up in the air, turning to fend off whatever it was. Still, she could not see it. She felt it now, more then ever. A long, thin tendril of cold, stale air. It caressed her cheeks, gently lifting wisps of hair from her sweating brow.

It was there, somewhere. Waiting.

Wake up! Wake up!

Someone help me! Mom? Shane? Casey? Anyone? The cold, stale breath of air became colder and harsher. Goosebumps rose on her arms. Terrified she backed away, and bumped into something. Immediately she turned, and came face to face with glowing demon eyes.

"I've come for you..." it moaned. It's voice was so low and whispery that it grated across Tony's nerves and sent a shiver down her spine.

She couldn't back up this time, because the other thing was behind her. Or were they one in the same? Everywhere? Oh god...

Wake up! Wake up!

The eyes seemed to get closer and closer. Almost on top of her. She let out another scream as she backpedaled. She tripped and crashed to the cold, hard ground. She'd fallen over something. Her fingertips hit flesh, warm and sticky. This time she couldn't scream. An arm, a shoulder...

Wake the fuck up!

A low, rasping hiss issued from the demon's mouth, breath cold and misty. It burned her cheeks and neck. She lashed out with clumsy hands as it sank to envelop her on the floor. No! Nooooo....

It pointed a long gray finger at Tony, the tip pointy and covered with blood. It slashed down at her arm and she felt a stab of hot, searing pain.

She woke with a choking start, sitting up in the darkness of Casey's room. Casey's room. Oh god, safety. Unexpected tears coursed down Tony's cheeks and she hid a strangled sob behind her clenched fist.

The dreams wouldn't stop. They'd come fast and furious since her mom had died. Would they ever end? Tony glanced up from the floor, toward the bed, and saw Casey's hand dangling over the side. She'd offered to let Tony sleep on the bed, but she'd declined.

Tony remembered the night she'd fallen asleep in Shane's arms. How safe she'd felt, how the dreams hadn't come. She wished Shane was here now.

She needed Shane, and she could admit that, in the darkness and the terror of the night. I need you, Shane. Where are you?

 

 

 

Chapter 20

So it begins...

 

Two days later Shane was back. Casey was grouchy and agitated. Tony was pale and quiet. Nothing much was said. Tony had decided she needed air and had taken Joenne's offer of a walk down to the BP. She didn't know that Casey had asked Jo to keep her there.

"What?" Shane hissed as she paced back and forth across the abandoned apartment's dusty floor.

"You heard me," Casey said. "She’s out of juvie. She’s packing and she’s coming after you."

Shane paced back and forth some more. No. She had two more years! "Why the fuck did they let her out?"

"Good behavior," Casey replied sarcastically.

"Good behavior my ass," Shane mumbled.

"What are we going to do?" Cadence asked, speaking for the first time since Casey had gathered them all together. All that is, except Tony and Jo.

What are we going to do? The question bounced mercilessly around Shane’s head. The room echoed in silence. What are we going to do? Abruptly Shane stood straighter and squared her shoulders. "What ever happens Tony stays out of this. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t need to know."

"She’ll find out. You can’t shut every mouth in school, Shane," Cadence stood as well and crossed her arms as she stood in front of Shane.

"Then we should tell her, so she doesn’t hear it wrong," Ripper said, as she too stood with crossed arms in front of her dark haired leader.

"Fine, I’ll tell her!" Shane stormed across the room. "But she stays out of this." She left in a whirlwind and started her bike with a grinding of gears and flew off down the street.

Inside, Casey mumbled that she didn’t think Tony would stay out of it. And they still hadn’t settled the question of what to do now that Jynx was back with a vengeance.

 

 

 

 

"Hey Jo, hey Tony," Shane said as she pulled the bike up beside the curb. Jo nodded a 'hey.' As Shane looked towards Tony she was suddenly caught up in a brilliant smile.

"Hey, you're back!" Tony leapt up from the base of the lamp post where she'd been sitting and talking, getting to know, Jo.

"Yeah," Shane groused. "I'm back. Can I talk to you a minute, Tony?"

"Sure," Tony said. She approached the bike wearily. Shane looked distant, pale, and it worried her. "What's up?"

"Hop on. I'll tell you in a minute."

Tony straddled the massive bike and wrapped her arms securely around Shane's waist. She held on tight as Shane sped down the road. Her nervousness grew by leaps and bounds as they kept going and going.

Finally Shane stopped. They were somewhere near the shore, but not near the usual beaches of Coney Island. It was calm here, with only the backdrop of noise from the Beltway.

"Ok, what's up?" Tony asked after the bike had pulled to a stop and they'd sat silently for some time.

Shane stepped off the bike and made her way to a small breaker. They sat on the rocks, listening to the gulls and the traffic. Tony waited as long as she could before she stood up and walked in front of Shane. She plopped down, right in Shane's line of sight, and forced her to look up.

"What is it, Shane?" Tony asked gently.

Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. She closed it, then tried again. "Trouble..." Shane shrugged and looked away. "An old enemy of mine is back in town."

"Ok," Tony said, studying Shane's pale, withdrawn profile, and wishing she would just look at her. "What does that have to do with me?"

"Nothing, everything. I don't know."

"Explain, please."

Shane sighed. "Before... I mean, I wasn't always the leader. Casey told you about Jynx, right?"

Tony nodded. "A little bit." A cool ocean breeze ruffled her bangs. Absently she pushed them back.

"Well, we parted on bad terms. She went to juvie and now she's out." Shane looked at Tony, trying to gauge the reaction in the depths of her emerald eyes. They're deep eyes, Shane realized. No, not like that... something shines in them. Some secret knowledge of the world that I don't have. Might never have.

"Revenge?" Tony asked. She crossed her legs, trying to settle comfortably on the ragged rocks surface.

Shane silently nodded. "I um... well, I wanted to tell you. Cause rumors are gonna start flying all over school... and Ripper said... well, everyone thought I should tell you, instead of you hearing it elsewhere."

"Ok."

"When is your suspension over?" Shane asked, deftly changing the subject.

Tony hid a small smile. Ok, go with the flow. I'll let you get away with it. This time. "I go back tomorrow."

"Casey's really sorry about the whole mess, ya know?"

Brows furrowing together Tony looked out towards the ocean. "It wasn't her fault, if that's what she thinks. I should have done what coach asked."

"You can't do everything for everybody all the time, Tony. You know that, don't you?" Shane asked as she laid a reassuring hand on Tony's knee.

Tony glanced down at Shane's tanned hand, and back up to meet her pale, blue eyes. The iciness that she'd seen those first few weeks had slowly faded. It was still there, but not with Tony. She liked the change, a lot. "You have nice eyes." As soon as she said it Tony could feel the blush traveling up her neck to her face. I can't believe I said that.

"Thanks," Shane said with a small shy smile.

She smiled! It's ok, she's not gonna kill me. Yet! "Shane..."

"Don't say anything else, Tony, please?" The dark haired girl suddenly pulled her hand away and stood up. She turned to face the ocean. The salty air whipped at her face and stung her cheeks. Tony stood up beside her.

"But I-"

"Don't," Shane whispered hoarsely. No, everything would change!

"Ok." Tony was silent for a long moment. What the hell just happened? "Shane, can I ask you something?"

"I guess."

"Have you ever... kissed anyone?"

"Yeah." Shane shrugged and glanced down at Tony with raised eyebrows. Where had that question come from? "Why? Haven’t you?"

Even in the dim light of the setting sun Shane could see the girl blushing.

"No," Tony murmured. "But it’s, ah, not like ya know I never wanted to… what's it like?"

"What’s what like?" Shane shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, and tugged nervously on the button of her leather vest.

"Kissing?" Tony looked up.

"Um, guess it’s all right," the dark teen answered absently, as she watched a gull fly into the horizon.

"But what's it like?" Tony persisted.

Shane shifted, minutely uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going. What the hell am I supposed to say? "Dunno, it’s just kissing."

"Is it like seeing stars or lightning? Or whatever it is people say you're suppose to feel?" Tony stepped closer to Shane, unconsciously dropping her hand onto Shane’s waist.

"Ah, no," Shane hedged. "I never kissed anyone that made me feel like that."

"Haven’t you ever loved anybody, Shane?" Tony asked sadly.

"What do kissing and love have to do with each other?" the dark teen asked.

"Huh?" Tony’s head lifted and she stared at Shane incredulously. "They have everything to do with one another!"

"Whatever," Shane replied.

Tony grumbled and started all over again. "What's it like?"

Shane sighed. "Depends on who you kiss, I guess."

For a moment Tony mulled that statement over. "Who’ve you kissed?"

"Nobody important."

"I kissed Tommy… in second grade," Tony chuckled.

"Lucky him," Shane mumbled.

"Well, actually he kissed me firs- huh?" Tony blinked over at Shane with wide eyes.

"N-nothing," Shane gulped.

"You said-"

"I know what I said!" Suddenly Shane turned back toward the bike, unsettling Tony and nearly sending her off her precarious perch on the sharp rocks.

Tony grabbed at Shane’s arm. "Shane! Shane, wait."

"What?" Shane turned to stare into Tony's widened green eyes.

"Please come here," Tony urged.

Emphatically Shane shook her head, terror shaking the entire rest of her body.

Tony made her way across the rocks, her ankle twisting between a gap and sending her dangerously forward. Shane rushed to catch her. She pulled her up and Tony stood gazing solemnly into her eyes.

"Do you want to kiss me?" Tony asked breathlessly.

Silently Shane nodded her head.

"Very much so?" Tony whispered.

"Very much so," Shane replied in a husky voice.

"Then kiss me." The younger girl leaned slightly forward. "Kiss me. I want to know what it’s like."

"No, you don’t. Not with me." Abruptly Shane pushed the younger girl to arm’s length.

"Yes, I do." Tony nodded her head, puzzlement clear in her eyes.

Shane shook her head and said softly, "No you don’t. You want to kiss a nice boy. A boy who can take you to the movies or to get ice cream."

"But you get me ice cream."

With a sad smile Shane let go of Tony. She backed up a step. Tony took a step closer to Shane.

"You don’t want this," Shane said.

"I think that’s for me to decide," Tony replied indignantly.

"Whatever." Shane waved her away with a careless hand as she turned back towards the bike and made her way down the rocks.

"Don’t you ‘whatever’ me!" Tony cried. She rushed down to the beach and reached out, grabbing Shane’s elbow.

Shane spun angrily and faced Tony. "You don’t want to kiss me," she hissed. "I’ll hurt you."

"How is a kiss going to hurt me?" Tony asked reasonably.

With dark, gleaming eyes Shane stared down at Tony. "The kiss won’t hurt you, I will."

Fearfully Tony dropped her hand from Shane’s elbow and took a step back. Shane advanced on her, cruel menace in her eyes.

"I’ll rip your heart out. I’ll tear your dreams to pieces," Shane growled.

"You can’t scare me." Tony’s voice took on a hard edge. "You can’t scare me away like you’ve scared Casey or Cadence or Molly. Do you think that you can just give people ‘that look’ and expect them to run screaming?" Tony didn’t wait for an answer. "Stop pushing people to arm’s length, Shane. Dammit, you’re not as tough as you think."

Shane’s eyes narrowed. "Oh, I’m not, am I?"

Tony stared wide-eyed at the coldness sparking from behind pale, blue eyes.

"If I’m not so tough how is it then that I shot and killed my own brother?" Shane choked out the words, regretting them the instant they left her lips.

Tony’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

Sneering, Shane turned again. "Gimme an answer sometime, when you stop catching flies, that is."

Shane was halfway to her bike before Tony managed to reply. "You just did it again."

For a moment there was no answer, then Shane's reply drifted back to her on a current of salty air. "Did what?"

"Push me away," Tony said sadly. "You’ve tried to push me away everyday since the first day we met."

Shane turned back. "If I recall the first day we met you almost got yourself killed." A wry grinned edged her lips.

Lopsided. Familiar... That grin made Tony tremble inside. She hesitated, then drew in a deep breath of the sea air. "I like you Shane. I don’t understand why you don’t like me." Tony’s voice cracked and silent tears tracked their way down pale cheeks.

Shane did not move.

"I tried to understand you. When that didn’t work I just accepted you. I tried to make you laugh. When that didn’t work I just tried to be your friend. You were there for me when my mom… k-killed herself. I wanted to be there for you. You never let me." Tony turned her back on the dark teen. "You never let me. You never let me in." Her shoulders shook with sobs but she refused to runaway. "What did I ever do wrong that you refused my friendship?"

For a long time there was nothing but the sound of Tony’s tears.

"Please don’t cry," Shane whispered. Of it's own accord her hand reached out toward Tony. She looked at it, puzzled.

"Sorry," Tony responded angrily, "but I hurt inside." She stayed facing the ocean, unable or unwilling to let Shane see her pain.

Hesitantly Shane took a step forward and laid a shaking hand on Tony’s shoulder. She tugged gently till the young girl was facing her. Shane tucked her hand under Tony’s chin and tugged gently. She was met only with resistance and cold tears on her thumb and wrist.

"Please." Shane tugged gently again and finally raised Tony's chin up. But her eyes remained tightly closed, tears coursing down her cheeks. "Please, don't cry."

Tony’s lips trembled. "I – I can’t stop."

Running a thumb down each pale cheek, Shane rubbed the tears away. But the tender gesture just seemed to make Tony cry all the harder. "Shhh," Shane crooned. "Shh."

Tony just shook her head violently. Her breath hitched in her throat and she let out a painful sob. She threw herself into Shane and wrapped her arms around her waist. Shane hesitated then wrapped her arms around the shaking girl and held tightly.

It was a long, dark moment later when Tony’s tears had finally turned to silence.

In the silence Shane whispered, "I'm sorry."

The blond head tipped upward and green eyes looked into misty blue.

Shane drew in a ragged breath and leaned down to place a tender kiss on sweet, soft lips. Tony’s lips tasted like salty tears and it was the most delicious feeling Shane had ever had.

Tony trembled as Shane’s tentative lips touched hers. Her knees wobbled and she wound her arms tighter around Shane’s waist.

Breathless they broke apart and stared into each other’s eyes for a timeless moment.

Shane rested her forehead against Tony’s. "I'm so sorry," she said again

Tony leaned back and looked into Shane’s darkened eyes. "So am I. I shouldn't have yelled like that. Shouldn't have fallen apart on you."

"You've been through a lot." Shane smoothed Tony's hair and pressed her gently back under her chin. They felt so right together. What have I done?

Anxiously Tony pulled back and looked up. She's scared. I can feel her heart thundering, like a stampede of horses. But I'm scared too. "Shane?"

"Hmm?" she murmured, her half slitted eyes roaming across the ocean, watching the splashes of purple and pink as the sun set.

"What did you mean earlier, about your brother?" Tony asked softly.

Shit... "I... dammit!" Shane pulled away and folded her arms across her chest.

The ice was back. No! "Shane." Tony touched Shane's elbow, and drew the resisting girl back to face her. "Look at me." She didn't look. "Dammit, look at me. Don't pull away from me now."

Shane blinked and looked at Tony. Damn, she's one feisty, fiery, stubborn kid. What the hell have I gotten myself into? I can't do this. I shouldn't do this. Not with Jynx back in town. "I said I killed my brother."

Push. Well, two can push. "How?" Tony asked.

"Shot him."

Shane's answers were turning to monosyllables and Tony needed to get inside her head, before she lost Shane again. For good. The thought made her heart stick in her throat. "Tell me what happened."

"I just did. What don't you understand? Shot or him?"

"Don't patronize me," Tony said. God, she's a frustrating person. "I want to know what happened."

"Why? So you can hate me just like everyone else?" Shane fixed bright, steely eyes on Tony, trying to bore the message into her mind; go away. I'm no good for you. I'll hurt you.

Tony obviously didn't hear the message.

All around them the sky was darkening, from pinks to purples to dark blues.

"I don't hate you," Tony whispered. If I thought I could tell you what I want to tell you I would. I think it would only scare you more. It's all about fear, isn't it, Shane? You're afraid of loosing everything, like you lost your brother... "And Casey, Cadence, Ripper.... none of them hate you."

"Whatever," Shane mumbled.

Tony sighed. How can I get through to her? Actions speak louder then words... Impulsively she wrapped her arms around Shane and laid her head on Shane's chest. She felt the solid body stiffen, then long, strong arms finally circled around Tony's back.

"Why?" Shane whispered.

"Why what?" Tony asked.

"Why- how do you break down all my walls and just plow through my life?"

Do I take offense to that? It's a good thing, right? "You like me."

Shane sighed, laying her chin back on the top of Tony's soft, golden hair. The anger, the tension... everything just seemed to flow out of her, leaving her soft, and vulnerable. She wasn't sure she liked that feeling. "Yeah, I like you."

"I like you too." Tony smiled. I like you lots...

 

 

Chapter 21

Good intentions

 

"Case?"

"I'm still here."

Tony switched the phone from one ear to the other. "You going or not?" To school. Suspension ended tomorrow, and they would go back. Casey had to come too. "Please?" she asked after Casey remained silent for some time.

"Why?" Casey asked. She wasn't angry, at least not really.

"Because I want you to, Case." Tony held back a sigh. She could just see Casey's future going down the proverbial toilet if she refused to come back.

"I can't put up with that shit from Coach anymore." There was another pause, filled with tension and Tony waited for Casey to continue. "If, if he touches me again... I... I won't hesitate to tear him to pieces. You know that, don't you Tony?" Her voice cracked slightly, and Casey cleared her throat, embarrassed to let her feelings be known.

"I won't let that happen," Tony said.

Casey made a noise like 'phfft.' "Uh huh."

"I'll talk to the princi-"

"That ass won't do anything!" Casey's voice rose.

Tony sighed and this time Casey heard it. Silence reigned for a full minute before Tony spoke again. Her voice was low as she said, "I won't let him touch you Case. I'll protect you."

It almost made Casey laugh. Almost. Till she realized that Tony meant every word of it. And she suddenly had no doubt that the fiery little blond would stick up for her. Why? "Fine."

"You'll come back?"

"Yeah, yeah. But I swear I'll punch his lights out-"

"I know, I know! Thanks Casey, you won't regret this! I'll see you tomorrow."

They said their good-byes and hung up. Casey held on to the receiver wondering what the hell she was doing. School meant nothing to her. Nothing meant anything to her. Except... well... Casey chuckled ruefully. That kid sure grows on you.

Besides, Shane would kill me...

 

 

 

 

"She's going." Tony clicked the phone back down in it's cradle and looked over at Shane as she leaned against the lamppost in the convenience lot.

"Why? She's just gonna have it out with him and get into more trouble." Shane glanced to the passing cars. She knew all she really had to do was terrorize a few teacher's, leave a 'message' for the principal and no one would bother Casey, or Tony. So, why didn't she? Maybe she should...

"Oh come on. Casey has to learn she can't fight her way through everything..." Geez, Tony thought, sounds like someone else I know. But Shane wasn't looking at her or seemingly paying any attention, so she shrugged. "Besides, if she doesn't face it, what she comes up against in the future she may not be able to face either."

Point taken Shane nodded her head and smiled in Tony's direction. Enough serious stuff. "Let's go."

"Where to?" The thought of going back to the apartment was unsettling. She hadn't returned since her mom had died and had only checked in with Gram once in a while to let her know she was still alive. Practice what you preach, darlin'. It all comes back to you in the end. She could hear her Gram's words of wisdom, stuff she'd spoken of numerous times in the past. If she doesn't face it... may not be able to face... "Can you take me home, Shane?"

Keen, blue eyes were studying Tony. Their eyes met. Shane nodded. "Sure. And I can pick you up tomorrow and take you to school. Ok?"

"Yup."

 

 

 

 

Tony watched Shane go, their good-bye kiss lingering on her lips. As she touched the apartment key, nestled in her pocket, she felt the first tremors of fear. S'ok, I can do this.

Face it... She didn't want to face the memories. Not without Shane.

I can't do everything with Shane. She squared her shoulders and turned the key. "Hey Gram, I'm home."

 

 

 

 

"Where is she?" Tony was pacing back and forth on the wide concrete steps at the front of the school.

"Sit down, Tony," Cadence chided lightly. She patted the step beside her, and, after a moment, Tony sat down with a plop.

"She said she'd be here." Tony sighed.

"Then she'll be here," Ripper assured. She was sitting on the divider that separated the 'grass' from the steps. There really wasn't any grass, all but a few scraggly weeds having been trampled down by hundreds of students over the years.

Ten minutes and classes would start. So far there was no Casey. Tony absently noticed that while most of the gang were hanging about the front steps or nearby on the grass all was strangely quiet. As if there was something they were all avoiding.

A tension in the air that Tony did not have time to question as she saw short, spiky blond hair in the crowd of students.

"See," Ripper said, in a sing song 'I told you so' voice.

Briefly Tony stuck out her tongue at the athlete, then hopped up and ran down the stairs to meet Casey, hoping that the idea she had come up with while suffering insomnia after another bad dream, would go over well with the rebellious teen.

 

 

 

 

"Tell her," Tony whispered and nudged Casey closer to the front of the empty classroom. The spiky haired girl planted her feet inches from the back row of desks and refused to go any further.

"I won't rat," Casey said stubbornly, for the tenth time since Tony had told her the plan.

"It's not ratting," she tried to explain, but the frustration was showing through in her voice. She placed her hand on Casey's back and pushed her forward.

"No." She planted her feet again with a loud squeal, a sound only rubber on tile can make.

Anna Stewart looked up in surprise. "Tony?" She glanced at the other girl, vaguely recognizing her from another English class, and feeling a sharp tingle of fear travel up her spine as she also realized it was one of Shane's girls. "Casey. What can I do for you, girls?"

For a moment there was only tense silence.

"Tony wants ta tell ya something," Casey mumbled and swiftly turned, shoving Tony up towards the front of the room.

"I- " She grabbed Casey and pulled her forward too. "We need your help, Ms. Stewart."

"Ok, what can I do?" Wearily she eyed the spike hired girl that stood beside Tony. She was, maybe, only a few inches taller, not counting the spikes. And, surprisingly, at the moment her expressive eyes were wide with fear.

 

 

 

 

The principal, coach, and a few other faculty members fed up with the gangs running the school were all seated around the conference table. They argued back and forth about what to do before the principal stood and cleared his throat, drawing all eyes to him.

He paused to adjust his tie, smoothed it down then began speaking in calm tones. "There are, as many of you know, a number of gangs in this school. One gang stands out from all those."

"The Panthers!" Coach reminded them, though no one needed reminding.

The principal nodded and smiled shallowly. "Yes, the Panthers. I've had the ... pleasure... of knowing their leader for a few years now." There were a few nervous chuckles. When they quieted down the principal began again. "Shane Delante is a ruthless, cold hearted bitch, that cares for nothing. She would just as soon slit your throat then look at you."

He now had the attention of the entire room. "Shane Delante prays on the weak and the innocent. She's made teachers quit, had them fired, set fire to their classrooms, vandalized, terrorized... I'm sorry to say that the list goes on and on." He glanced at each and every occupant of the room.

"She's stopped doing most of that." The science teacher quickly glanced down at his interlaced fingers.

"You're right, Sam. But, is it the calm before the storm?" the principal asked.

Coach nodded and stood angrily. "He's right. That gang is spoiling for something. I can feel it."

"What are they going to do?" one of the others asked.

"She needs to be stopped," Coach said.

The principal held a secret smile inside. Perfect. He didn't have to say it, didn't have to dirty or sully his excellent record. Now, all he had to do was carefully lead them in the right direction, without coming right out and saying it. "I've called the police on numerous occasions, ... . Somehow she avoids them every time."

"Maybe with all the drug running that gangs do she's paid them off," someone speculated.

The principal had to hide another pleased smile. "It doesn't matter, there is nothing we can do but try and tighten school security, again."

Grumbles went up around the room. Security was as much a hassle for the teachers as it was for the students.

"Isn’t' there something we can do?" the librarian asked. She was small, thin boned and fragile. Her eyes were perpetually wide with alarm and behind her thick glasses she looked like an owl and every bit the stereotypical librarian. "Like a meeting? Convince the other students not to put up with the harassment?"

Coach humphed. "You don't actually THINK that will stop them, do you?" he asked incredulously. "Nothing short of violence will. Their kind doesn't understand anything but bloodshed." His face was turning red and a vein throbbed in his forehead.

"Calm down, ... . We can not resort to violence in this matter, " he said diplomatically. "Alice is right. Maybe we should have a meet-"

"Don't be stupid! There's only one way to stop them!" Furiously coach slammed his chair back and stalked to the door. "And I will stop them, mark my words," he threw back over his shoulder as he tore open the door and went through. It slammed against the wall with a thud that made most of the teachers leap from their chairs and into automatic action.

Several sets of eyes equaled the coaches rage and it wasn't long before they left to find out what could be done. Others left meekly, determined to hide in the proverbial closet till this blew over, which they were sure it would. And one, spectacled science teacher eyed the principal quizzically before he left the conference room and returned to his lab in silence.

Trouble was a brewin'.

 

 

 

 

"Why aren't we with the rest of the gang?" the young blond asked, not really expecting an answer.

After a moments hesitation Shane replied, "I thought... I don't know... I thought we could just hang out." Nervously she twisted her hands together then slapped the outsides of her thighs before slipping down onto the old army cot.

When Shane had called her after school and asked her to met her at the tunnels coming here to hang out hadn't even occurred to Tony. Something was wrong, that much she could see in the dark pools of blue Shane sporadically turned her way.

Full of hesitation. Full of questions.

"We can hang out," Tony said as she rested on the edge of the cot. "Or we could talk."

"About what?"

"About whatever's bothering you," she replied, looking at the dark teen, her shuttered eyes and arms crossed over her chest. Mentally she sighed, then scooted back up against the old brick wall and rested her hands in her lap. "Are you worried about Jynx?"

"No." Shane's face remained expressionless.

"Worried about Casey 'ratting out' Coach to Ms. Stewart?"

One fine eyebrow lifted. "No."

"What then?"

She seemed to consider for a moment, her face relaxing back to it's usual stoic self. "Casey really did it then?"

Tony nodded absently. "We talked to her this morning. She's willing to go to the principal for us, so long as we can get some more people to tell what they saw."

Quietly Shane studied Tony as she talked, watching the emotions span across her face. "No one else will talk, will they?"

The young blond looked up and shook her head. "I hoped... I don't know. I hoped they'd be... what?" Tony shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "Less self centered?" She met Shane's eyes. "Don't they know it's for all of them? That if one, or two, of them step forward they won't have to put up with his intolerance and bigotry anymore?"

My naive little friend.... Shane shrugged. "It's not that."

"What is it then?" Tony asked bewildered. She couldn't even begin to understand the little nuances and rules of this school. It was ok to kill someone but not tell on them?

"It's... well it's just what's going to happen. Ya don't rat around here, Tony. Justice will be served." Tony's eyes narrowed suspiciously, and Shane continued hastily. "Ya know, what goes around comes around? Coach will pay his dues."

"Uh huh," Tony mumbled. She slouched further down against the wall and pulled her knees up to her chin. She circled her arms around her legs and rested her cheek on her knees, looking away from Shane.

After a moment Shane's hand came to rest on her shoulder. "Just let it be," she said softly.

"What if I don't want to? What if I don't think any of this is fair?" Slowly she turned to meet Shane's eyes, her own clouding over with tears. Angrily she swiped them away with the back of her hand. She refused to cry over something this stupid.

"I know you don't want to. I know it's not fair." Shane sighed, then held open her arms. Tony slid into them and settled against her chest. She felt Tony's body shake with the need to hold in her tears.

"Goddammit," Tony swore as silent tears traveled down her cheeks and soaked the front of Shane's white t shirt. When am I going to stop crying? When will I have control? Everything is all out of proportion.

"It's ok, Tony, let it out," Shane whispered.

The girl shook her head painfully and held tighter to Shane, as if by sheer force she could hold back the flood of pain and tears. "I don't want to cry," she murmured.

"Sometimes you have to."

Tilting her head back slightly, Tony looked up at Shane. Her eyes were open, but she seemed fixed on some distant spot on the wall, or in the past. They sparkled with tears of their own, but unlike her she knew Shane would not cry.

Shane's hand continued to rub Tony's back absently in circles and neither girl spoke for a long time. Tony was beginning to doze when Shane began to talk.

"Ya know… Charley was only a couple years younger then me. He followed me everywhere. Like a puppy dog, ya know?" Shane shifted and pulled Tony more comfortably against her chest, resting between her legs and in the full enclosure of her arms. "I didn't want him to drive the getaway car, didn't want him near the gang. But Jynx, she... persuaded me... and in the end, because I gave in, my baby brother died."

Tony remained silent, listening to the harsh syllables of Shane's words fall down all around her ears like a cement wall crumbling under the onslaught of a wrecking ball.

"If- if he'd just stayed in the damn car. But no, he had to run inside when Jynx shot the gun. She said we weren't even gonna use the guns... I should have seen it coming."

"It's not your fault," Tony said. Shane stiffened beneath her.

"It was my fault," she replied harshly. "I should have refused."

"How were you suppose to know something would go wrong?" Tony asked reasonably.

"Doesn't matter. I should have forbidden him-"

Tony straightened up and looked Shane in the eye. "You mean to tell me that a hormone-raging, teenage boy would have actually listened? That just because you forbade him and told him to stay home that he would have?" When Shane looked away Tony gently took hold of her chin and brought their faces within inches of each other.

"I could have locked him in his room," Shane whispered.

"Then, who's to say that someone else wouldn't have died? Cadence? Or Ripper?" Tony challenged. For each question, each plea, she would come up with an answer. There was more then one way to see every situation, that she knew.

Mutely Shane shook her head and tried to tear away from Tony's grasp. But she wouldn't let her. "Look at me," Tony pleaded gently.

Soft, baby blues met Tony's gaze. "What do you want from me?" Shane barely whispered.

Tony's blond head tilted sideways and her eyes widened in shock. "I don't want anything from you Shane." She paused. "Except for you to stop blaming yourself for his death."

Shane's eyes flickered and darkened, her jaw clenched beneath Tony's hand, and this time she tore it away. "I shot him, goddammit. How can that not be my fault?"

"Did you mean it? Did you want to shoot him?"

"No," came the choked out reply.

"Then, tell me, how is it your fault?" When Shane gazed back at Tony there was no anger, no rage, just misty eyes and a trembling lip. "You once told me that the dead can hear our thoughts. Charley knows that you never meant to hurt him. That you loved your baby brother."

"Loved him very much," Shane agreed, eyes not leaving Tony's.

"All you need to do now is to forgive yourself."

"I- I don't know if I can," Shane stammered.

"I'll help you," Tony whispered.

For a breathless eternity their eyes met and held and it seemed as if they'd done all this before. Then Shane gave Tony a lopsided, crooked grin.

Beautiful... Tony leaned in and touched Shane's lips with her fingers. What now? Slowly she advanced, till her lips just barely touched Shane's. It was a sweet, reassuring kiss and the dark haired teen savored it, drank it deep into her memory... then reached for more.

A tongue sought entrance to Tony's mouth and for a moment she balked at the idea, but as Shane slowly teased her tongue along her lips she let her in. The kisses turned hungry and passionate and it was a long time before they breathlessly broke apart.

Continued...Part 4


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