See part 1 for disclaimers.

© December, 1999

No part of this text may be reproduced in whole, or in part, without the express consent of the author.

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Robin and Jess found themselves spending more and more time together over the summer; getting together for morning coffee, meeting for a late lunch after Robin’s workout, or going out after softball games. Late in July, Robin was invited to join some of her softball teammates for a weekend camping trip in the Cascade Mountains. They were going to make a short hike into a high mountain lake, and use that as a base camp for day hikes in the wilderness. Robin thought that it might be the perfect way to get Jess to unwind for a weekend, and to get familiar with some of the fantastic outdoor recreational opportunities in Oregon. So when Capi dropped by her office one day, Robin asked if it would be OK to invite Jess along on the camping trip.

"Oooh, two nights together in a small tent," Capi teased. "Maybe that will be enough to finally crack that cold exterior."

"Come on, Capi. She’s not cold, just a little reserved. And I’ve already decided that I’m not making the first move. She has to decide that this is what she wants before I’m going to push her into anything." Robin had grown to appreciate her friendship with Jess, and didn’t want to jeopardize it. Of course, she also couldn’t deny her feelings for Jess, and sometimes the frustration level became almost unbearable. At those times, she tried to avoid Jess for a few days in order to get her emotions in check. Maybe two nights in a small tent wasn’t such a good idea after all…

"Well, I, for one, would love to have her come along on the camping trip. It would give me a chance to get to know her a little better and see if she’s really worthy of you," Capi said with a smile. "I’m quite good at probing for information, you know."

"Your skills are legendary, Capi," Robin said while rolling her eyes. "If I ever want to know something about someone, I can count on you to find it out. I think there’s something about Jess’s past that she doesn’t want to talk about, though. I asked her once about where she was before Idaho and she practically got up and walked out on me. I’ve never brought it up again."

"Oh, that’s like giving a scent to a bloodhound," Capi said while rubbing her hands together. You just leave it up to me."

"Capi, I don’t want you asking her about that. I want her to have a good time this weekend, not feel like she’s being interrogated!" Robin said sternly.

"You’re no fun," Capi pouted. "What if I don’t ask her directly, but just lead her in the general direction and see what happens?" she asked hopefully.

"Caaapiiii," Robin said threateningly.

"OK, OK, I’ll behave," Capi said, disappointed. "Hey, have you thought about the fact that everybody else on the trip is gay and that’s likely to be pretty obvious to anyone who pays attention? Does she even know that you’re gay?"

Robin blushed and said, "Well, I’ve never told her, but I would think she might have a clue just from being around our softball team."

"Oh boy, this sounds bad," Capi said. "I can’t believe you’ve spent this much time with her and the subject has never come up. What do you guys talk about anyway?"

"Well, we’ve talked about past relationships in general terms, but I’ve never gotten specific about who those relationships were with," Robin said guiltily. "It’s hard to just tell someone that you’re gay," she protested. "What do you say, ‘Oh, by the way, did I mention that I’m a lesbian?’"

"Well, it’s only going to get harder the more time you spend with her. Now it will seem like you’ve been hiding it from her, or there’s some reason you don’t want her to know."

"There is a reason I don’t want her to know," Robin whined. "I’m afraid she’ll run away as fast as she can!"

"Well, if that’s true, then I don’t think you should worry about it. Why would you want to be friends with someone that can’t accept you for what you are?"

Robin’s shoulders sagged and she looked down at her hands in her lap. "Oh Capi, I know you’re right, but I guess I’m just scared. I know it’s not rational."

Capi walked over to Robin’s chair and knelt down beside her. She put her hands over Robin’s and said softly "I know there’s nothing rational about being in love, Robbie. And I know it’s even worse when the love isn’t returned." Robin knew there was double meaning to Capi’s words, and felt profoundly grateful that Capi could be there for her even though it had to be hurting her at the same time.

Robin looked up into Capi’s eyes and saw only acceptance and understanding there. "You’re the best friend I could ever ask for," Robin said, giving Capi’s hands a squeeze. "Someday you’re going to be rewarded for being such a great person, and you’re going to find the love of your life and you’ll be glad you waited."

"Yeah, well she’d better hurry up and arrive or it’s gonna to be too late to enjoy it!" Capi laughed. "I’d better get back to work. I’ll e-mail you with the details of the trip. I think we’re going to leave around 3 on Friday. Can you get off that early?"

"No problem. I’m really looking forward to it," Robin replied.

"Me too. I’ll see you later," Capi smiled and made her way out of the office.

Robin went to her computer and clicked on her mail program.

Jess –

How are things over in the glamorous world of athletics? Have you landed any big recruits today?

Some friends and I are going on a camping trip this weekend and I thought maybe I could talk you into coming along. We’re going to a great wilderness lake with a fantastic view of the mountains. You can hike, fish, or just relax for a full two days. What do you say?

(yes, yes, yes) – that was a subliminal message, in case you couldn’t tell.

Robbie

Jess was sitting in her office talking to one of her assistant coaches when her computer chimed with the "new mail" message. Keeping one ear on what her assistant was saying, Jess double-clicked on the new message. Jess couldn’t keep a small grin off her face, and her assistant said, "I can come back later if you have something you need to do."

"No, no, sorry. It’s just so hard to ignore that "you have new mail" message when it comes through. I should find a way to turn off the audio reminder. What were you saying about the preseason weight workout?"

Jess managed to give her assistant her undivided attention for the next five minutes, and then went back to her mail program when the door closed again.

Robbie –

I’ve always been able to resist television advertising, so I think I’m immune to subliminal messages. But the camping trip does sound like fun. Unfortunately, I don’t have any camping gear, other than a sleeping bag, so I don’t think I’d be prepared for the wilderness. Besides, shouldn’t I have some survival training, or something?

Jess

Jess clicked the "send" icon and smiled at the thought of spending the weekend with Robin. I wonder how much it would cost to get outfitted with the right gear? Just then Jess’s phone rang.

"NOU Women’s Basketball, this is Jess Peters."

"Hey."

"Hey yourself."

"I have all the other gear you need. As long as you have a pair of hiking boots, that is."

"My, you’re persuasive," Jess teased. "Do they teach advertising techniques in the economics program?"

"It comes up," Robin replied. "I told you that I never got my way when I was a kid, so I’ve worked hard to overcome that as an adult."

"Well, I’d say you’ve become very successful," Jess smiled. "As a matter of fact, I do have a pair of hiking boots, and I don’t have anything particular planned for this weekend, so I’d love to go camping."

"Really?" Robin blurted. "I mean, that’s great! We’re going to leave around 3 on Friday, and we’ll be back around dinner time on Sunday. I can drive and I’ll bring the tent, stove, food, and fishing gear. And I have an extra backpack that you can use." Robin realized that she was babbling and tried to slow down. "Have you ever been backpacking before?"

"No, I’ve done some car camping, but I’ve never spent the night in the wilderness before. Is there anything I should know ahead of time?"

"No, you’ll be fine. We’re only going to hike in a couple of miles, so we can take lots of things that we wouldn’t be able to take on a longer trip. In fact I think I’m going to take my inflatable raft so we can fish the lake better," Robin said enthusiastically.

Jess chuckled at Robin’s excitement. "Do you think you could make a list of things I should take?"

"Sure. And if you don’t have something, let me know because I may have extra," Robin replied. "Hey, this is going to be fun! I’m really looking forward to it."

"Yeah, me too. So you’ll pick me up at my apartment Friday afternoon?"

"Sounds good. I’ll call you if anything changes."

"OK, see you later."

"Bye."

Robin hung up the phone and pumped her fist. Yes!! Two days of having her out from under the influence of John. I can’t wait!

And it was true – she couldn’t wait. Robin found it difficult to accomplish a single significant thing before Friday afternoon finally arrived.

"Hey, looks like you didn’t have any problem fitting everything in your pack," Robin said as Jess loaded her gear into Robin’s car. Robin had dropped off a spare backpack earlier in the week, along with a list of things Jess should bring.

"Well it helps that you have the stove, food, and tent! We’ll have to redistribute the load on the way back so I can carry my fair share. Of course, the food will be gone by then, so I’ll still be getting the better end of the deal."

"Yeah, but I’m sooo much younger than you, I should carry more weight," Robin teased.

"And just how much younger would that be?" Jess asked with a raised eyebrow.

Robin put her chin in her hand as if deep in thought. "Well, I can’t say I know exactly how old you are, but from your resume that I studied carefully during that first meeting with the Athletic Advisory Committee, I would say you have to be at least 33."

"Close. And that would make me exactly how much older than you?"

"Just close, huh? Then I would have to say ‘about’ four years."

"You’re telling me you’re not even 30 yet?" Jess said incredulously. "What were you, some kind of child genius?"

"Hardly. I just didn’t waste any time getting through school – 2 years for my masters and 3 for my Ph.D. If it makes you feel any better, I turn 30 in September."

Jess made a mental note to remember that. She’d have to ask Capi for the actual date. "Well, I hope this much older woman doesn’t hold you up on the trail today. Maybe the fact that you have to take two strides to every one of mine will be an equalizer."

"Oh fine, joke about my height now. Just because you’re used to being around basketball players all the time doesn’t mean that I’m not a completely average height for women," Robin said with mock indignation.

"I would never dream of joking about something as serious as being vertically challenged," Jess teased back.

Robin just slapped Jess playfully on the arm and said, "get in the car, you Amazon!"

The ride to the trailhead went by quickly, both women relaxed and enjoying each other’s company. When they arrived, they found the rest of their group ready to hit the trail. Meghan, Jennifer, and Sara joined Capi to make up the foursome. Meghan and Jennifer owned a small restaurant in town, and had been together for six years. Sara worked in the admissions office at NOU, and had been a friend of Capi’s for years. Sara had recently split with her partner of two years, and seemed to always have problems getting a relationship to last.

"Hey, come on you slowpokes!" Capi called out with a smile. "Daylight’s a-wasting."

"We’re all ready to go," Robin replied while putting on her backpack. "We’ve got to get to the lake before the sun goes down. I don’t want to miss the hatch!"

Capi rolled her eyes at Robin’s obsession with fishing and took the lead down the trail. The six women proceeded single file, and the sounds of nature mixed with heavy breathing quickly replaced the sounds of civilization. Shortly after leaving the trailhead, they passed a sign marking the edge of the Jefferson Wilderness and the trail headed uphill through a magnificent stand of old growth Douglas Fir. A stream was running off to their right, and the steeper the climb got, the louder the stream became as it rushed over rocks and waterfalls. The fresh smell of running water was mixed with the earthy smell of the moist, dense forest, and the women breathed deeply, cleansing their lungs with the fresh air. After about a mile, the trail leveled out and the forest got thinner, allowing for glimpses of the distinctive peaks of Three Fingered Jack and Mt. Jefferson in the distance. The group stopped to catch their breath and take a drink of water.

"How are you doing?" Robin asked Jess. "No blisters or anything?"

"Nope, I’m doing great. I can’t believe how beautiful it is up here."

Robin couldn’t help but agree as she found herself staring at Jess’s sweat-glistened face. She managed to tear her eyes away before Jess caught her, and asked, "Is that backpack adjusted OK? Let me see how it’s fitting on your hips and shoulders." Robin walked over and placed her hands under Jess’s hip belt to see if it was riding on her hips properly. She then pulled on the shoulder straps to see how much weight was resting on Jess’s shoulders. "You know, you can connect this strap in front that pulls the two shoulder straps together if that makes it more comfortable," Robin said while grabbing each end of the strap and buckling it over the upper part of Jess’s chest. Suddenly Robin realized where her hands were and abruptly dropped the strap and, blushing, looked down, afraid to meet Jess’s gaze.

"Yeah, that is better," Jess replied. She had felt an inexplicable tenseness as Robin was adjusting her pack, but decided it must have been from feeling like a little kid getting dressed by her mother. She dismissed the thought and smiled her thanks at Robin, wondering why the younger woman was blushing again.

"Everybody ready?" Capi asked. They all nodded and set off single file once again. It was only another half hour before the trail rounded a corner and opened up to a spectacular view of a high mountain lake. The clear sky gave the water a magnificent deep blue color, and the perfectly still waters carried a perfect reflection of Mt. Jefferson that was looming over the horizon.

My God, it’s just like the pictures at the travel agencies, Jess thought. While she’d lived in the Pacific Northwest for many years, she had never experienced the beauty of the mountains from this close before. I can’t believe this is within an hour of a highway. Why aren’t there 50 other people here? As if on cue, a pair of hikers appeared on the far side of the lake, but headed away from them, deeper into the wilderness.

"Which side of the lake do you want to camp on?" Capi asked. "You have your choice of views: sunset over Mt. Jefferson from this side, or sunrise over Three Fingered Jack from over there," she said pointing across the way.

"I vote for sunrise," Robin said. "That way I won’t have to be squinting into the sun when I’m fishing the evening hatch."

Everyone groaned at Robin’s single-mindedness, but happily made their way to the other side of the lake. A well-worn campsite, complete with fire pit and logs arranged for sitting, gave testament to the popularity of the easily accessible lake. The women quickly shed their packs and started setting up tents. Robin chose an area well away from the fire pit and asked Jess if she wanted to help her.

"Sure. What do you want me to do?"

"Well, why don’t you start by finding the flattest spot you can, clear any rocks and sticks from it, and put down the ground cloth."

While Jess was doing that, Robin snapped the tent poles into place and then they both worked at getting the tent set up. Robin retrieved both of their sleeping pads and bags, and spread them out in the tent. Boy, it’s going to be cozy in here, she thought as she looked around the small tent. There would barely be room for a few extra clothes in the tent with them, and their packs would have to stay out under the rain fly. I can only hope I don’t snore all night, or roll over on her, Robin thought. Then again, rolling over on her might not be so bad…

The group reconvened by the fire pit and started organizing the preparation of the night’s dinner.

"Hey Robin, why don’t I cover dinner tonight, and you can do breakfast in the morning," Jess offered. "I don’t want to keep you from those fish!"

"You sure you don’t mind?" Robin questioned. "Evenings are the best time for dry fly fishing. Maybe tomorrow we can both offer to do clean-up, and then we can fish the evening hatch and clean up after dark."

"Sure, that would be great. But you know, I’ve hardly ever used a fly rod before, and I’m much more likely to be catching those trees than any fish."

Robin laughed and said, "Then I’ll inflate the raft tomorrow and we can use that in the evening to fish. That should give you plenty of room for flailing around!"

"Well, the trees would be safe then, but I’d say you’d be in great danger in a small raft with me handling a fly rod."

"I’ll remember to wear safety glasses," Robin replied dryly. "And I’ll be sure to give you flies with barbless hooks, just in case you find any other body parts to snag!"

Jess just smiled good-naturedly and went to see how she could help with food preparation. Robin made her way down to the water’s edge with her fly rod and surveyed the area for the best place to stand. The lake was ringed with trees, which made it difficult to find a place with some room for a backcast. She looked down the shore and saw a fallen log extending about 25 feet into the lake. She carefully made her way out on the log and felt her heartbeat pick up as she saw fish rising to flies all around her. She quickly tied an elk hair caddis to her leader and made a short cast to her right. The fly had barely hit the water before she saw the strike. Unfortunately, the fish missed and Robin found herself setting the hook on thin air. Robin nearly lost her balance on the slippery log and admonished herself to be more careful. On her next cast, she hooked a small brook trout, about 10 inches long, and carefully disgorged the hook and set it back in the water. This is almost too easy. But I know the hatch is only going to last for a few minutes, so I’d better take advantage of it. Robin looked around at the serene lake, the virgin forest, and the rugged slopes of Three Fingered Jack bathed in the red light of sunset and thought, It can’t possibly get any better than this, can it? And I’m not even wishing I had someone here to share it with, because the one person I’d like to share it with is here! Robin took a deep breath and smiled as she resumed casting.

Jess was sitting on one of the logs near the fire pit, chopping some onions and mushrooms that would go in the spaghetti sauce. One of the advantages of taking such a short backpacking trip was that they could actually eat fresh vegetables on the first night out. Capi was mixing some salad dressing to go over a bag of fresh lettuce, while Jennifer and Meghan were working on setting up the two backpack stoves. Jess felt her eyes start to water from the onions, and looked away to give her eyes a break. As she looked out over the lake, she saw Robin silhouetted against the light reflecting off the water. The rhythmic motion of the fly rod sent the line snaking behind Robin in a perfect loop, only to shoot forward and settle perfectly onto the still lake. Jess found herself mesmerized. That is so beautiful!

Capi looked over at Jess and saw the look of open admiration on her face. She followed Jess’s gaze over the water to see Robin’s silhouette. She’s so beautiful! Capi thought wistfully. She looked again at Jess, who was still caught in the trance. Well Robin, it looks like you may have caught the biggest fish after all.

"Hey Jess! Do you have those onions and mushrooms chopped?" Meghan called out, breaking Jess out of her reverie.

"Uh, almost. I’ll have them done in a few seconds." Jess shook her head to clear her thoughts, and wondered once again about why she had been so spacey lately. It seemed like she was always daydreaming about Robin, and couldn’t figure out why she was so intrigued by the young woman. Maybe I’ve been spending so much time around people in athletics the past few years that it’s just refreshing to talk to someone different. Satisfied with that explanation, Jess finished her chopping and added the ingredients to the pot. Soon the aroma of Italian spices filled the air and the campsite grew dark outside the circle of the fire. Jess looked toward the lake repeatedly, thinking that Robin couldn’t still be fishing in the dark, and wondering if she should go check on her. Just then, Robin emerged from the dark with a big grin on her face.

"That was some of the best fishing I’ve had in years! I must have caught twenty fish in a half hour. You should have been there, Jess! Tomorrow, huh?"

"I wouldn’t miss it!" Jess grinned at Robin’s enthusiasm. "But now you’d better join us for some dinner before it gets cold. Meghan’s been slaving over a hot stove for the last hour creating this masterpiece!"

"Yeah, right," Meghan snickered. "More like I opened a couple of jars and turned the stove on high."

"Well it smells great!" Robin said as she dug into a huge helping of spaghetti.

"Uh-oh! Hurry everyone! If you want any dinner you’d better get it quick before it’s gone," Capi teased, watching Robin devour her meal.

"Oh, very funny, Capi," Robin said sarcastically. "Just because you wouldn’t know what it’s like to work up an appetite by catching twenty fish…"

Capi laughed and replied in an equally sarcastic tone, "Yeah, that right arm of yours must have really gotten a workout."

"You just watch what this right arm is going to do to you," Robin said menacingly while putting her plate down and advancing on Capi with a mock snarl on her face.

"Oh no! Robin, I’m eating!" Capi pleaded while almost falling backward off the log she was sitting on. She barely got her plate set down on the ground before Robin pounced on her and began tickling her mercilessly. They both rolled over the log together and ended up laughing so hard they could barely catch their breath. They slowly untangled their limbs and helped each other up, laughing and brushing off the pine needles they’d accumulated on their clothes.

Jess watched the interaction between Robin and Capi and felt a twinge of jealousy. They have so much fun together! It must be great to have such a close friend. The way Capi’s looking at Robin makes me think she’d like to be more than close friends, though. That thought caused Jess’s eyes to pop wide open with the sudden realization that Robin might be gay. She thought back on all the time she’d spent around Robin, looking for anything that might have given her a clue to Robin’s sexuality. Other than the fact that some of her softball teammates were quite open about being gay, Jess couldn’t think of anything that would have indicated that Robin was. Listen to me! I hate it when other people speculate about whether I’m gay, and here I am doing the same thing!

"Hey Jess, are you going to finish that spaghetti?" Robin asked while looking hungrily at Jess’s half-eaten dinner.

Jess was startled by the interruption to her thoughts and looked down at her plate. "Oh…well…I guess I’m not very hungry." She smiled up at Robin, "I take it the bottomless pit is still hungry?"

"Well, only if you weren’t going to eat it. I’d hate to see it go to waste, you know."

Jess laughed and handed her plate over to Robin, who eagerly polished off the remaining spaghetti. Jess took the opportunity to look around at the others in the group of campers. She knew that Meghan and Jennifer were together, because they often engaged in public displays of affection, or PDA’s as an old friend of hers used to call them. She didn’t know Sara very well, and she had never really thought about Capi’s sexuality, but she realized that there was no reason to think they weren’t all gay. But then, there was no reason to think they weren’t straight either. Maybe I can try to bring it up somehow with Robin, hopefully without offending her. Jess started to think about the various conversations she could have that might reveal the information she sought. Her musings were interrupted again by Capi asking if she’d like to take a walk around the lake while the others cleaned up.

"Sure, that sounds great! Do you have a flashlight?"

"It’s a full moon, so I don’t think we’ll need one," Capi replied. "The trail is really well-worn, so I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to pick it out."

Capi and Jess got to their feet and headed down to the lake. As Capi predicted, the moonlight shining down and reflecting off the lake provided plenty of light to see the trail. They ambled off at a leisurely pace with Capi in front.

"So Jess, did you spend much time in the mountains when you lived in Idaho?"

"No, I spent most of my summers working basketball camps. We had our own camp at Idaho State for two weeks, and then I’d travel around and work other camps. And, of course, once the preseason conditioning started, I was pretty tied to campus."

"Sounds like a busy life. Did you grow up in the Pacific Northwest?"

"No, but close. I grew up in Montana."

"Really? I spent some time in Montana after grad school. Whereabouts in Montana did you live?"

Jess paused for a moment before answering quietly, "Oh it was just a little town near Missoula. I’m sure you’ve never heard of it."

Remembering her promise to Robin not to probe too much for information about Jess’s past, Capi decided that she should change the subject. "So how do you like NOU and Comstock? It can be kind of frustrating to be single in Comstock, and let me tell you I speak from experience!"

Jess thought she might have found her opening to get the information she sought. "Have you been single the whole time you’ve been here? I’m not sure I even know how long you’ve been here," she added.

"I’ve been at NOU for 7 years, but I’m relieved to say that I haven’t been single that whole time," Capi said with a laugh. "I had a partner for three years after I first moved here, but she got a great job offer on the east coast, and I guess she decided that our relationship wasn’t worth turning down the job offer. I suppose you could say that I didn’t think our relationship was worth following her, either, so I guess we were both at fault."

Well, that answers my question about Capi, Jess thought. "So nobody else has come along since then?"

"Well, to tell you the truth, I’ve had a huge crush on Robin ever since she got here, but she’s made it pretty clear that she just wants to be friends. And we have a really great friendship, so I don’t want to give that up or jeopardize it by pushing for something more."

Well, that doesn’t exactly tell me whether Robin is gay or not, but I’d say it’s a distinct possibility," Jess thought. She felt a powerful sense of jealousy at Capi’s admission of a crush on Robin, and wondered how she could feel so possessive of Robin’s friendship.

"You two sure seem to get along great. Why do you think Robin’s not interested? Is she interested in someone else?"

Whoa, I thought I was supposed to be the queen of interrogation, Capi thought. I think I’ve met my match! "I’m not really sure, Jess. I don’t think she’s seeing anyone else, but maybe she’s got her heart set on someone who just hasn’t realized what a catch she is." Well that will either confuse her or hit her over the head with a two-by-four!

"Yeah, I told her the other day that I couldn’t believe she didn’t have guys lining up at her door, asking her out," Jess replied.

Looks like we’re gonna need a four-by-four, or maybe a railroad tie! Capi thought ruefully. "Oh, I’m sure Robin has plenty of offers. I think she’s holding out for someone special, though."

The women walked in silence for a short while, each lost in their own thoughts, and then the light from the campfire became visible around the next bend in the trail. They walked back into the campsite to find their companions roasting marshmallows and sharing stories of previous backpacking trips.

"You should have seen the size of the grizzly bear we saw in Alaska," Sara said. "Luckily it was downwind of us and it never even knew we were there."

"We had a black bear come into our camp down on the Rogue River and we spent half the night throwing rocks at it to get it to leave our cooler alone," Meghan added. "I don’t think I slept more than an hour the whole night."

"And did you read that story in the paper about the guy who got attacked by a grizzly on the trail, and all they found was his backpack and a few scattered bones?" Robin asked.

"Whoa! What are you guys trying to do – keep us from getting any sleep tonight?" Capi protested. "Can’t you think of something more pleasant to talk about?"

"Oh, relax Capi!" Robin replied. "You know there aren’t any grizzlies in Oregon. And besides, I’m much sweeter than you so they should come after me first," she teased.

"Well, you know what they say: you don’t have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than me, and there’s no question that I’d be the last one in line!" Capi said with a laugh.

"Well, on that happy note, I think I’m going to go hang the food bag and then turn in," Meghan said. "You coming, Jen?"

"Someone has to protect you from the bears," Jen said with a grin while putting her arm around Meghan’s shoulders and heading off.

"Yeah, I think I’m about ready, too," Robin said. "I’ll take the far side of the tent, Jess, so you won’t have to crawl over me when you come to bed."

"OK, I’ll be there in a little while. I’m just going to watch the fire for a few more minutes." Jess found herself alone with her thoughts as everyone else made their way to their tents. What do I really feel for Robin? I get jealous, and nervous when she touches me…Not exactly what I’d expect if I just thought of her as a friend. But I’ve never been attracted to a woman in my life! I’m sure I’m not gay. I can’t be gay! I know things are going to work out with John. I just have to give it a chance. And when that happens, these other feelings will just go away. I’m sure of it. With a renewed sense of purpose, Jess doused the fire and headed off to bed. Her resolve was sorely tested however, when she crawled into the tent and found herself within inches of a sleeping Robin. The younger woman was sleeping on her side, facing Jess, and had a peaceful, open look on her face that made her more attractive than ever. Jess sighed deeply and turned her back to Robin, hoping sleep would come quickly.

"Robin! Robin, wake up!" Jess was whispering harshly in Robin’s ear. "There’s something outside the tent!"

"Huh…what? Something what?" Robin blinked her eyes open, trying to make sense of where she was and what Jess was saying.

"There’s something big outside the tent. Don’t you hear it?"

Robin was fully awake and sitting up now, straining to hear what Jess was talking about. Jess was creeping back away from the tent door, practically sitting in Robin’s lap.

"Craaack!" A branch snapped somewhere very close to the tent, and they could hear the sound of dry leaves being stepped on.

"What do you think it is? Are there bears around here?" Jess asked worriedly.

"I think you listened to too much bear talk around the campfire," Robin replied, "but yes, there could be bears around here. Only black bears, though, so they’d be interested in our food, not us." Robin put her hand on Jess’s back and rubbed in small circles reassuringly. She felt Jess relax slightly and start breathing a little slower. "I’m pretty sure it’s not a bear, though, because it doesn’t sound that big. I’m going to unzip the door and take a look around, OK?" Robin didn’t want to belittle Jess’s feelings, but she was pretty amused at how scared the self-confident woman seemed to be. She moved around from behind Jess and crawled over to the tent door. She quietly unzipped the door and moved her hands and head outside the tent. About ten feet away, a big mule deer was chomping on the leaves of a bush. Robin smiled to herself and made her way back inside the tent. "I think we’re safe," she said with a sly grin. "At least I’ve never heard of Bambi attacking campers before." Jess visibly relaxed her shoulders and felt a blush creeping up her neck. She was thankful that it was dark in the tent. Robin crawled back over to her and put a reassuring hand on her thigh giving her an understanding smile. "Hey, you should have seen how scared I was on my first backpacking trip. I was convinced that every chipmunk outside the tent was either a grizzly or a mass murderer."

Jess gave a small laugh and said, "Thanks, but I feel pretty foolish."

"Hey, no reason for that. Come on, let’s try to get back to sleep." Jess laid down with her back to Robin again, and Robin faced her and put her hand lightly on Jess’s back in a reassuring gesture.

"Thanks," Jess said softly, and soon she could hear Robin’s breathing indicate that she had fallen asleep again. Jess found sleep harder to come by and she lay awake listening to the sounds around the tent and thinking about how nice Robin’s hand felt on her back.

Daylight came way too early for Jess, and she groggily stumbled out of the tent to find the others drinking their morning coffee around the now cold fire ring. Robin gave Jess a little teasing smile, but didn’t say anything about the previous night’s excitement. Jess responded with a raised eyebrow that seemed to warn Robin to keep it between just the two of them.

"Ready for a cup of coffee, Jess?" Jennifer asked. "It’s not exactly Starbuck’s, but it’s hot and has caffeine."

"Sounds great!" Jess said gratefully. "Don’t we have breakfast duty, Robin?"

"Actually, Capi offered to make her famous poppy seed pancakes, so I guess we’ll do clean-up instead."

"Mmmm, famous pancakes, huh? I won’t argue with that," Jess replied. She took a long sip from her coffee and closed her eyes in appreciation. Capi was mixing her pancake batter and the others were gathering up plates, silverware, and syrup.

"So what does everybody want to do today?" Sara asked.

"Jennifer and I were thinking we might just hang around the lake, maybe do a little swimming, and just generally relax," Meghan replied.

"Sara and I talked about taking a short hike to another lake that’s about 2 miles further down the trail," Capi said. "There are supposed to be some great wildflower meadows along the way."

"Well, I was thinking it might be fun to try to get part way up Three Fingered Jack," Robin said while looking hopefully at Jess. "I’ve heard that it gets kind of dicey near the top, but I don’t think you need any technical rock climbing skills for the lower slopes."

"That’s gotta be a good 8 miles, round trip, not to mention a 2,000 foot gain in elevation" Capi said. "I think that’s more than I’m up for."

"Yeah, me too," Sara said. "I think I’ll stick to the wildflower hike."

Robin looked over at Jess and raised her eyebrows questioningly. Jess found she couldn’t resist that look, even though 8 miles and 2,000 feet did not really sound like fun to her. "Well, I don’t think you should go by yourself, so I guess I’m game," Jess said resignedly, but with a smile toward Robin. "Better make extra pancakes, Capi."

After breakfast and clean-up, Jess and Robin filled a day pack with lunch, water, and basic first-aid supplies and headed off toward Three Fingered Jack. The trail was an easy grade for the first 3 miles, and the two women covered the distance in a little under an hour. But then the trail steepened, and soon the women were trudging up a series of switchbacks. After another half-hour, the trees disappeared and the trail was barely visible through a field of loose rocks. The footing got continually worse and the hikers found themselves sliding a half-step back for every step they took forward. They finally came to a small plateau about halfway up the peak, and Robin suggested they take a break.

"How are you doing, Jess?"

"I’m OK. A little tired, and I’m sure I’m going to be sore tomorrow, but nothing I can’t live with," Jess replied good-naturedly. "How about you?"

"So far, so good! I’d like to see if we could get up to that notch between the first two ‘fingers.’ Do you think you can make that?"

"Hey, where you go, I go," Jess joked. "I can’t let you think I’m too old to keep up!"

"Not too competitive, now, are we?" Robin teased. "Come on, we can have lunch up there. I’ll bet the view is fantastic!"

"Oh, lunch! Now that ought to be incentive for you. You’ll probably set a new land speed record," Jess said sarcastically as she trailed after Robin who had already set off.

The trail narrowed as it wound around the side of the mountain, in some places barely wide enough to put one foot in front of another, with a steep slope on both the uphill and downhill side of the trail. Jess kept taking deep breaths and tried not to look down, concentrating instead on Robin’s strong calf muscles just in front of her feet. After another half-hour of nerve-wracking, thigh-burning climbing, the pair made it to the notch. Jess breathed a deep sigh of relief and collapsed on the nearest rock. After catching her breath, she sat up and looked around.

"Oh my god! Look at that view!" Jess stood up and slowly turned 360 degrees, seeing Mt. Jefferson, Mt. Hood, Mt. St. Helens, and Mt. Adams to the north, and Mt. Washington, the Three Sisters, and Mt. Thielson to the south. In between were endless acres of forest interspersed with a cookie-cutter pattern of clearcuts, and the occasional high mountain lake.

Robin smiled as she watched Jess’s expression of awe. "Hey, we’d better get a picture so they believe we actually made it up here." Robin dug the camera out of the pack and adjusted it on a rock so that she could use the timer on the shutter. She focused Jess in the viewfinder, pressed the shutter, and quickly ran over next to Jess. She leaned in close and put her arm around Jess’s waist while they both grinned for the camera. She felt Jess’s arm go around her shoulders just as she heard the shutter click. She looked up into Jess’s blue eyes and gave her a big smile and a congratulatory hug. "You did great, Jess! You’ll be bagging the rest of these peaks in no time."

"Is that the lingo – ‘bagging peaks?’" Jess asked with a smile. She didn’t take her arm from Robin’s shoulders as she looked down the slope. "I think I’ll be happy just to make it back down this one."

Robin leaned her head against Jess’s shoulder and the two women stood there admiring the view and enjoying the undeniable pleasure of their contact. Robin’s stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, and both women laughed.

"Well, I guess that means it’s lunch time," Jess said. She reluctantly broke away from Robin and grabbed the lunch out of the pack. They sat next to each other and shared crackers, cheese, and dried fruit. Robin did her best not to take more than her share, but Jess insisted that she didn’t want any more, and Robin quickly devoured what was left.

Jess looked at Robin out of the corner of her eye with a wry smile and said, "How much would it be worth if I offered you a bag of M&M’s right now?"

"You’re kidding," Robin said disbelievingly, while making a grab for Jess’s pockets.

Jess smiled and leaned back, batting Robin’s hands away. "How much?" she repeated.

I don’t suppose a kiss is what she has in mind, Robin thought ruefully, but then seized on another idea. "How about a complete leg and back massage when we get back to camp tonight?" Robin offered.

"Ooooh, that is tempting," Jess said while experimentally flexing her tired leg muscles. "Throw in a flycasting lesson and you’ve got a deal."

"Yesss!" Robin yelled while lunging again for Jess’s pockets. Jess just laughed and held her arms out while Robin rummaged through the five different pockets in her shorts, finding the chocolate treasure in the side cargo pocket. She happily tore open the package and even offered to share with Jess, who politely refused. Jess didn’t want to renege on the deal, which she was now looking forward to.

The two women started to gather up their things for the return trip. Jess was a little worried about the top part of the trail, which was very narrow with poor footing. All we can do is go slow, I guess. Hopefully Robin knows what she’s doing.

Robin led the way down the treacherous trail, picking her way slowly and looking for solid footing for each step. She could hear Jess right behind her, and panicked slightly every time she heard one of Jess’s feet slip on the rocks, but each time, Jess managed to stop herself before sliding into Robin. They were nearly back to the plateau when the rocks under Robin’s right foot went sliding out from under her. Robin grabbed at thin air while her body slowly fell outward over the steep cliff. A scream escaped her lips as she looked desperately at Jess who was reaching for her while trying to maintain her own balance. Jess couldn’t reach her in time, and she screamed, "Robiiiin!!!" while watching her friend tumble down over the rocks.

Robin went head over heels for about 50 feet before coming to an abrupt halt on the plateau. She lay there, crumpled and unmoving while Jess stood in shock up above.

continued in part 4