All characters belong to Paramount, not me. I am only borrowing them for fun, not profit. I will say that they have more fun on my pages than on Paramount’s screen.

 AGAIN

by Lisa Countryman 4/99

 
CHAPTER ONE

Seven of Nine opened her eyes, turning to the com panel as the computer chimed and the melodic voice broke the silence of Cargo Bay Two.

*"Regeneration cycle complete."*

The Former Borg drone took a deep breath and released it slowly, stepping out of her alcove and addressing the computer. "Computer, state time and date."

*"Stardate 53702.1. 02:12 hours."*

Seven steadied herself and quickly headed toward the door, she had to change history, and she only had one hour and seventeen minutes to do it.

 
Kathryn Janeway was draped across her favorite chair reading an ancient Earth book, Dantes’ Inferno, doing her best to get back to sleep. She had been up most of the night thinking about a certain blonde Borg. Seven had started an argument with Lieutenant B’Elanna Torres the day before, the two almost coming to blows. The problem was that each of the two strong-willed women were brilliant engineers, and each of them was convinced she was right. If Seven was right, Voyager could be blown into a billion pieces the next time they went into high warp, but if B’Elanna was right, the ship was fine. Until Janeway had an absolute answer, she wasn’t letting the ship go to warp, which enraged the Chief Engineer beyond belief. Torres was quick to point out that Seven wasn’t even in the Engineering department, but Captain Janeway had been equally quick to point out that departments didn’t matter if the ship was in danger. Kathryn sighed, knowing that wasn’t the only reason Seven was on her mind. The Captain of the Starship Voyager had a world class crush on her Astrometrics Officer. That wasn’t exactly true, though Kathryn wished it was, she didn’t have a crush on Seven, she was in love with her, and that was not good. She could never tell anyone about her feelings for the beautiful Borg. Janeway was startled from her musings by the sound of her door chime and swung her feet off the arm of the chair so she was sitting in a more ‘distinguished’ manner, putting her book on the table.

"Come in," ordered the captain.

Seven of Nine, former Borg drone, came into the room, crossed directly to the captain and stood at attention in front of her. "Captain," Seven said, dipping her head slightly.

"Seven, it’s late. Are we about to have one of our late night philosophical discussions?" Kathryn asked, secretly enjoying the early morning talks with the sensuous Borg ever since Janeway had been forced to decide whether or not to let the Doctor regain his memories about a crewman’s death. From that time on, she and Seven would periodically drop in on each other, it was certainly more intimate than Kathryn was with any of her other officers, but then, she wasn’t in love with any of them.

"No," Seven stated. "It would be far preferable to my task at hand."

Janeway could hear a hint of tension in Seven’s voice, the former drone wasn’t one to display her feelings, so any emotion in her voice got the captain’s full attention. Janeway stood.

"What is it, Seven?" Kathryn moved in front of Seven trying to determine the extent of the problem. She let herself stand close enough to almost touch the former Borg, she was constantly invading the young blonde’s personal space, and Seven was constantly doing the same to the captain.

"You must call a meeting of the senior staff immediately," Seven said, moving back a half step and shifting her gaze around Kathryn’s quarters. The Borg seemed nervous, her eyes lingering on the Captain’s very empty double bed.

"Explain," Janeway demanded even as she went to her couch and pulled on her jacket, quickly putting her four golden pips onto her wrinkled tunic.

Seven looked away from Kathryn’s smoky azure eyes and tilted her head to one side. "Captain, I have been experiencing a temporal loop, and unless we take action, we will repeat this day... again, " she said and then released a sigh.

Janeway gave Seven a skeptical stare but tapped her com badge anyway. "Janeway to senior staff, report to conference room one immediately. Priority one. Janeway out." Kathryn turned back to Seven. "So, care to explain in a little more detail?"

Seven sighed again, this time crossing her arms over her ample chest for good measure. "Voyager is in a time-loop. I am the only member of the crew with any memory of the temporal feedback." Seven raised an eyebrow and began answering the questions she had already heard every other time she had went through the loop. "No, I am not having a reoccurrence of my extra personalities. No, I am not having a reaction to lack of regeneration. The reason I can remember and no one else can is because of the Borg chronometric node that allowed intra-temporal messages to be sent back by Mr. Kim when Voyager was destroyed in the alternate future, and Yes, I am very aware that you ‘hate temporal mechanics.’" Seven uncrossed her arms and looked at Janeway.

Kathryn cracked a half grin. "I take it we’ve had this conversation before."

"Seventeen times."

"Oh," Kathryn said, pointing to the door and following Seven as they left for the conference room. Janeway shook her head trying to push down her lustful thoughts as she watched Seven’s curvaceous hips sway toward the door.
 

Captain Janeway sat at the head of the conference table waiting for the rest of her senior officers to arrive. Of those already present, the Doctor was the only one completely alert, Tuvok sat to Janeway’s left patiently awaiting explanation, next to him, Harry Kim struggled to keep his eyes open, and Chakotay yawned, setting off the same response in Tom Paris. Janeway shifted her attention to Seven. The Borg was pacing. Seven of Nine did not pace. The doors hissed open and B’Elanna Torres came in looking more asleep than awake, quickly slumping into a chair at the table, disgusted to see that there was no coffeepot anywhere in sight. Seven saw her come in and moved to the table, sitting at the end furthest from the captain.

Janeway cleared her throat. "Sorry to wake you up, but we have a situation. I’ll let Seven explain." Janeway leaned back and took a sip of her coffee, the only mug in the room.

Seven rolled her eyes and began. "We are experiencing a time loop." The former Borg held up her hand to stop the questions forming on her crewmates' lips as she had seen Kathryn do on many occasions. She looked from face to face as she spoke. "How and why I remember is not relevant at the moment. Each of you told me something in the alternate reality to prove to you that I am telling the truth. Mr. Kim, Tara Swanson was the first girl you ever kissed. Mr. Paris, Candice Weller is the first girl you..."

"Okay," Paris said quickly. "I believe you..."

Seven turned to Tuvok. "Bal’ok nefar." He nodded and Seven turned to the Klingon hybrid.

"Lieutenant Torres..."

"Okay," Janeway said. "I think we get the picture. Anybody still have doubts?"

Torres snorted and rolled her eyes.

Seven turned to her. "No, Lieutenant. This is not an attempt to ‘get my way’ concerning the engine core."

Torres eyed Seven and then glanced down at the table in defeat.

Seven sighed, glad to have that part of the day over...again. "I have discovered what we must change to stop the feedback loop. We must send out one of the probes with the polymetric hull and unimatrix shielding technology, altered to act as a torpedo. I will program it for the maximum yield so it will destroy a large satellite orbiting an extinct moon. The moon is uninhabited, and the damaged satellite is emitting tachion radiation that is causing the rift in the Time Space Continuum." As Seven spoke, she never once made eye contact with the captain, which was definitely not normal.

Chakotay leaned forward. "How do you know this is the cause?"

"We have already ruled out sixteen other possibilities, and the last time, we were able to discover the tachion pulse and trace it back to the moon. We must destroy the satellite in the next fifty minutes or it will emit a pulse that will initiate the feedback loop."

The room went silent as the staff considered her words. Janeway bit her lip and addressed her crew.

"Let’s do it," Janeway said.

The meeting quickly wrapped up as everyone went to handle the current crisis. Seven of Nine went to the Klingon Engineer before she left the room.

"Lieutenant Torres," Seven said as she stopped in front of the agitated Klingon.

"What is it?" Torres demanded.

"I, in the other realities, I had a chance to see the outcome of the warp engine problem."

"There is no warp engine problem," Torres said with a snarl.

"Indeed. Well, in one of the realities I have experienced, Voyager was destroyed in exactly the manner I predicted."

Torres stared at the former Borg drone and folded her arms across her chest. "Are you sure?"

Seven raised an eyebrow and took a padd out from under her arm and handed it to the Engineer. "I am certain. I witnessed the explosion as it decompressed the entire Engineering section immediately before my death."

"Death?"

"Yes, I must assume that since the explosion was my last memory before the day repeated, I was killed by the ensuing blast." Seven nodded toward the padd, and Torres looked at the data, wincing as she read the detailed account.

"You never mentioned any tachion disbursement in the warp core before," B’Elanna said in her own defense.

Seven looked slightly offended. "Until I experienced the other realities, I had no knowledge of the tachion damage. I only knew the warp field was unstable."

B’Elanna sighed. "Yeah, well, I guess I shoulda’ listened to you."

"It is ‘all right,’" Seven said. "The padd lists six other critical errors we made in the various realities. You may wish to examine them as well."

"Thanks," the Engineer said as she headed toward the doors.

"You are welcome," Seven said quietly, then called out, "Lieutenant Torres, I apologize for my behavior yesterday." Seven moved past B’Elanna and disappeared down the corridor.

B’Elanna’s eyes widened. She had never heard Seven apologize...ever. "Uh, don’t mention it." Torres exited wondering what else had happened in the other realities to cause such a shift in the former drone.
 

After the probe had been sent, and the satellite destroyed, Seven was forced to endure an obligatory examination. Seven of Nine sat in sickbay and grudgingly let the Doctor examine her, watching as the hologram scanned her one last time and then turned off his tricorder.

"You don’t seem to be much worse for your wear," he said cheerfully. "I’ve confirmed that your DNA breakdown is off from your last scan by approximately two and a half weeks, so I guess you were right about the time-loop, but apparently you’ve already solved that problem. I want you to take the day off; you seem a little tired, and I don’t like the looks of your metabolic system. Whatever you did in the other realities, it certainly wasn’t very relaxing. I’ll let the Captain know you’re off the duty roster."

"Thank you," Seven said, not adding that over the last seventeen repeating days she had only completed approximately nine hours of regeneration.

"So," he asked with a gleeful tone, "What was it like knowing what everyone was going to say and do?"

"It was... predictable."

"Hmmp. I can’t tell if you’re joking or just being incredibly Borg," he said with a deep scowl.

Seven stood and headed for the door. "I do not joke."

The Doctor watched her leave, she was even more distant than usual, and he decided to keep a closer eye on his charge in the coming days.

Seven left sickbay and headed toward her cargo bay, tapping her com badge as she made her way through the corridor. "Seven of Nine to Chakotay..."

*"Chakotay here, what is it Seven?"*  he asked, his deep voice coming from her com badge.

"Commander, could you meet with me in my cargo bay at your earliest convenience?"

*"Certainly. What’s this about, Seven?"*

Seven rubbed her temple, exhausted, even for a drone. "I would rather not discuss it until you meet with me," she said cryptically.

*"All right, I’ll be down in about an hour,"* he responded, curiosity colored his tone.

"Acceptable," Seven said as she tapped her com badge closing the channel.

 
Chakotay moved quickly to the doors of Cargo Bay Two, eager to find out what would make the resident Borg practically summon him. He watched the doors open and paused, realizing the cargo bay was actually Seven’s home. He cleared his throat and waited as Seven turned from her com station.

"Commander, thank you for coming," she said, walking toward the handsome officer.

"Sure. I was a little surprised. You and I don’t usually... Uh, interact." He rubbed the tribal tattoo over his eye, waiting for her to explain what he was doing there.

"You are correct, but you are in charge of personnel," she said with her typical bluntness.

"Uh, yeah. What’s this about?"

"I wish to resign my position as Head of Astrometrics. I would also like a posting off of the Alpha rotation," she stated, clasping her hands behind her back and waiting for his response.

"What?" He was shocked, Seven was an excellent officer and he had thought she was content in the position.

"I believe I have made my wishes clear."

"What’s going on, Seven?" he asked gently.

She averted her gaze from the Second in Command’s dark chocolate eyes. "It is... personal. I would rather not discuss it."

"I’m not sure that’s good enough," he said, trying to coax a more complete explanation from her. "You’re a valuable officer. I’m gonna’ need to explain to the captain why we’re losing you."

Seven stiffened at the mention of the captain. "You handle crew placement, do you not?"

"Yes, but she is the captain. She makes all the final decisions," he pointed out, silently thinking about the captain’s reaction and not looking forward to telling her. He knew she had more than professional feelings for the former Borg, though he would never bring it up. Still, he didn’t want to be the one to break the news about Seven quitting to her. "Is there some problem I should know about?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

She considered that question, but knew she could never tell him what was wrong. "I would be willing to take a posting in another department. I am more than qualified, however, I do not wish to be on the bri... I do not wish to be in navigation or at the helm."

Chakotay was not a stupid man. He caught her words, the ones she cut off. Seven didn’t want to be posted on the bridge and wanted off of the Alpha rotation, which meant whatever problem she was having was with someone on the bridge during that shift. He could also tell that whatever it was, she wasn’t gonna’ tell him, not yet at least.

"Okay, Seven," he said. "I’ll see what’s available. I’m not sure I can get you off of the Alpha rotation though. Your skills are quite valuable, and we need you on the Alpha."

"The other rotations are equally important," she pointed out.

"Well, I’d like to keep you on the Alpha," he said, realizing he should have known she’d call his bluff about needing her on the Alpha. Seven turned and walked to her alcove, spinning so she could back into the regeneration unit. Obviously, she considered the conversation over.

"Thank you, Commander. Please inform me as to my new posting." She backed into the alcove and the green lights began flickering over her head as her eyes snapped shut.

"You’re welcome," he said to the now unconscious Borg, quietly turning to leave the cargo bay, and dreading the conversation he was going to have with his Captain.

As soon as the doors hissed shut, Seven opened her eyes and stepped out of the alcove, adjusting the controls to turn off the test sequence she had initiated to give the appearance of actually regenerating. She went to the back of the cargo bay, behind a stack of crates, and went to a well-hidden cot and laid down. She sighed and pulled an emergency blanket up around her shoulders and closed her eyes, letting a slow, steady trail of tears begin to soak the rough fabric of the canvas cot. Seven didn’t bother to wipe them from her cheeks, she just let them flow, it was the only solace she had, the only solace she would ever have and her tears poured from her eyes as she realized it was true.

 
CHAPTER TWO

Captain Kathryn Janeway leaned onto her desk giving her First Officer a glare so cold he thought his fingers would get frostbite.

"What the hell are you saying?" she demanded.

"I’m saying that Seven wants to be transferred," he said for the third time, knowing she had heard him clearly the first two times.

"Why?" Janeway asked with a bit too much emotion in her voice.

"Kathryn, I don’t know. She’s upset about something... and that’s not all." He shifted in his chair, not adding that perhaps a transfer was the best thing.

"Explain," the captain ordered.

"She asked me to take her off of the Alpha rotation, too."

"I have to talk to her," Janeway said as she sat.

"I’m not sure that’s a good idea," he said gently.

"Oh?" Janeway prompted, giving him her famous glare, complete with quirked eyebrow.

"Uh, well, she let it slip that she didn’t want a posting on the bridge, and combine that with her wanting off the Alpha rotation, and it looks like she’s... trying to avoid you, Kathryn." He cringed expecting her to explode, he had watched his Captain and good friend become extremely unprofessionally attached to the former Borg, suspecting she was in love with the lanky young blonde, a fact that did not please him.

Janeway leaned back in her chair and stared at her First Officer who was also her good friend. "Why?" she asked, pain showing at the edges of her dark eyes.

"It has to be something that happened in one of the alternate realities. Seventeen days is a long time," Chakotay said solemnly.

"You’re forgetting, it was only one day of time for the rest of us. What could I have done in one day to make her react like this?" Janeway asked, rubbing temples with her left hand, trying to hide the moisture welling up at the corners of her eyes. She sighed, pulling herself back into full Captain mode, and looked impassively at her First Officer.

"That’s something you’ll have to ask yourself, Kathryn." He considered asking her about her feelings for Seven, but he suspected she’d already come up with that conclusion and wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.

"Thank you, Commander. I’m not in the habit of just letting one of my officers suffer in silence, especially after what happened with B’Elanna. I’ll talk to Seven, but I want you to set up a transfer for her anyway. She’s not in Starfleet, so I can’t make her stay, but I don’t want her quitting as the Head of Astrometrics. She’s too good. Write it up as an interdepartmental training assignment. Put her in Engineering for the time being. Isn’t Ensign Devorak out for the next six weeks?"

"Yes, he is, but do you think that’s a good idea? Seven and B’Elanna don’t exactly mix too well."

"They’ll adapt. Seven’s a brilliant engineer, and B’Elanna could use some help." Janeway crossed her arms and smirked at her First Officer. "Explain it to our Lieutenant Torres in way that she realizes this is not a request."

"Understood." He sighed, first he had to tell Kathryn about Seven’s problem, and now he was supposed to explain to the Klingon hybrid that she’d have to let the blonde Borg into her engine room. Some days he hated his job.
 

B’Elanna Torres launched the spanner that had been in her hand across her office, watching as it bounced off of the transparent aluminum wall. "No way in hell is that Borg working in my engine room," she yelled at the beleaguered First Officer.

"It’s only temporary," he tried. "You’ve got Ensign Devorak out... I’d think you’d be glad to have some help. You were just complaining to me last week."

"Why the hell is Janeway doing this?" Torres demanded, her eyes widening as she crossed her arms. "Is this about the fight Seven and I got into? Who is the captain punishing? Her ... or me?"

"It wasn’t the captain’s idea," Chakotay said as he looked into B’Elanna’s deep brown eyes.

"Then why?" B’Elanna asked in a slightly lowered voice.

"Seven wanted a transfer," he said quietly.

B’Elanna thought about her conversation earlier with Seven, that the former Borg actually apologized. Torres stepped closer to Chakotay and lowered her voice. "I noticed something odd about Seven this morning, before we sent the probe out to destroy that satellite."

"What?" he asked.

"Well, she apologized to me about yesterday."

"Seven of Nine?" he asked incredulously. "Resident Borg drone? Apologized?"

"Yeah, and she was pretty sincere."

"I wish I knew what was going on," the First Officer said as he rubbed his tattoo.

"Did you ask her?" Torres asked, leaning back against her desk.

Chakotay shook his head. "She’s not talking," he said, stepping closer to Torres and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Listen, B’Elanna, I know you two aren’t close..."

B’Elanna snorted. "Really?"

Chakotay looked B’Elanna directly in her eyes. "I need you to keep an eye on her. Something happened while she was in the other reality, and it’s got her pretty out of sorts."

B’Elanna hadn’t thought anything could shake the Borg, well, nothing short of a Borg queen, but other than that, she didn’t think Seven could be rattled. "Okay," she said. "But this is temporary, right?"

"Yeah," he said.

"I can’t believe I’m doin’ this," B’Elanna said as she moved around the desk, flopping into her chair. "I must have a screw loose... several screws loose. You owe me big time, Chakotay."

"Thanks, B’Elanna." Chakotay now just had to explain to Seven that B’Elanna Torres was going to be her superior officer. He definitely hated his job today.
 

Kathryn Janeway walked into Cargo Bay Two and looked at the empty Borg alcove, crossing her arms and walking through the cavernous room. Seven had been ordered to rest. Janeway went to Seven’s com station and leaned onto it. *"What’s going on with her? Why is she acting this way?"* she wondered, then heard a faint sound behind the crates and went to investigate. She made her way to the back of the room, around the stacked containers and her eyes widened when she saw Seven sleeping on an emergency cot from one of the survival packs.

Kathryn made her way closer, unable to stop. Seven was stunning, her face more relaxed than when she regenerated. Janeway wondered how long Seven had been sleeping, hidden behind the various stacks of cargo. Kathryn hadn’t known the former Borg was in the habit of sleeping at all and the captain realized she should arrange for Seven to have her own quarters, or at least to section off a private area in the cargo bay. Janeway stared at the young blonde and her chest ached, Voyager’s Captain had lost her heart to the outwardly cold Seven of Nine and she didn’t know what to do about it. She supposed she couldn’t do anything about it, the captain with a crewmember was not a good idea. Janeway stopped her musings when Seven stirred, sensing someone’s presence, and then opened her eyes. Seven saw Kathryn and sat straight up.

"Captain?" Seven said as she tried to get her bearings. "What are you doing here?" Seven asked, swinging her legs off the side of the cot to stand, but Janeway stopped her before she could get up.

"Sit," Kathryn said gently, kneeling down so she was looking into Seven’s face. The troubled exdrone wouldn’t make eye contact. Kathryn softened her voice. "Seven, I just talked to Chakotay, what’s going on?"

Seven still wouldn’t look at her Captain. "I do not wish to discuss it."

"Something’s going on with you," Kathryn whispered. "Talk to me. What happened?"

Seven looked down at the deck plating. "I... Please do not make me discuss it." Kathryn reached out her hand to lift Seven’s chin and the former Borg jerked back out of the captain’s reach.

Janeway drew in a startled breath. "Seven, did I do something? Please, tell me."

Seven continued staring at the decking. "I cannot. You ordered me not to."

"I did?" Kathryn asked then suddenly realized what the delicate blonde meant. "In the other timeline?"

Seven merely nodded.

Kathryn took a deep breath and slowly released it. "Maybe I was wrong... then I mean. If something is upsetting you this much, you should talk about it."

"No," Seven said, her voice cracking. "You were not wrong. I was. My... difficulties are of my own causing."

"Please, Annika, tell me. I can’t stand to see you hurting like this," Kathryn admitted to herself as well as the beautiful blonde.

"Captain, you and I discussed this in the other timeline. We agreed, several times, that I shouldn’t discuss people’s actions once I was in a different timeline. I experienced things that have not actually happened in this reality, to hold anyone else accountable for the actions they never actually took in this timeline is not...logical."

Janeway sat next to Seven, careful not to get too close, gripping the side of the cot with her hands on either side of her legs and leaning forward trying to catch Seven’s eyes. "Seven, if I did something in the other timeline that upset you, I want to know."

"You do not," Seven said.

"Damn it, Seven, don’t tell me what I want. Tell me what happened," the captain demanded.

"You didn’t do anything, Captain," Seven stated and stood. "I will not discuss it any further. I gave you my word then, and I will not break it now." Seven walked to her alcove with Janeway in tow and former drone began to fidget with the controls.

Janeway stood behind her. "Is that your final word on this?"

"Yes," Seven said without looking up.

Janeway knew she couldn’t force the young blonde to divulge her secrets, no matter how much she wanted to try. Her biggest fear was that she had somehow let Seven know her feeling toward the gorgeous drone and that the young woman didn’t return them. If that was true, the last thing Seven needed was the captain pressuring her about it. *"Why would you tell her?"* Kathryn asked herself. She sighed and went to the door, not turning as she spoke, "I’ll leave you alone, but if you want to talk about this, anytime, don’t hesitate to call me."

Seven turned enough to watch the captain leave and then went back to her cot. The Borg drone, with no Collective other than Voyager’s crew of individuals, curled up on her side, taking in gulps of air as tears slid down her alabaster cheeks, her sobs echoing off of the walls of the vast, barren cargo bay reminding the exBorg exactly how alone she was.

 
After Seven had served the Doctor’s required rest period, the new personnel orders took effect. B’Elanna Torres sat at her desk going over the daily assignments, knowing it was Seven’s first day and the half Klingon Chief Engineer was not looking forward to dealing with the ice princess.

B’Elanna decided to put Seven to work recalibrating the main phaser coils, despite how much the Borg bothered Torres, the Klingon hybrid knew how intelligent Seven was, and she needed someone with above average skill to handle the job. Torres looked up to see Seven enter Engineering, raising her eyebrows to her hairline when she saw that Seven wasn’t wearing one of her normal, skintight outfits. She was in a loose fitting black jumpsuit, and the outfit did nothing for the curvaceous blonde. Seven came into B’Elanna’s office and stood at attention with her hands linked behind her back.

Seven tilted her head to one side and spoke crisply. "Seven of Nine reporting for duty."

"You’re early," Torres noted. "Your shift doesn’t start for another two hours."

"I was unable to sleep and thought you might have some projects that needed attention."

Torres smiled. *"This might work out after all,"* she thought. She stood and handed Seven a padd from her desk. "This is the list of specs for the phaser coils. I’d like to see the energy output increased by at least five percent. You can work at com station four to do your calculations. When you’re done, let me know."

"Understood," Seven said, taking the padd and exiting without any further comment.

B’Elanna watched and sat back down, Seven was definitely not herself, so the Chief Engineer decide to keep a close eye on the former drone. Despite herself, she was beginning to feel a little protective of Seven. B’Elanna went to work on the next month’s schedule, and was surprised twenty minutes later when she looked up to see Seven standing at her desk.

"Seven, are you having trouble with the calculations?" Torres asked, glancing up from her padd.

"I am finished," Seven stated.

"Already?" Seven handed Torres the padd and B’Elanna scanned it, her eyes widening as she saw the intricacies of the calculations.

Seven stepped forward. "If we implement the corrections I have suggested, we can increase available phaser output by twelve percent. I can increase that by an additional .0023 percent if I manually clean and reset the main phaser coils."

Torres set the padd down. "That would take you six hours, and it’s a damn messy job."

"I can complete the adjustment in three hours forty-one minutes," Seven said.

"That’s still a lot of work for .0023 percent."

"You do not want the ship to function at peak efficiency?" Seven asked gently. There was none of her normal chilling tone of intolerance. In fact, she sounded almost timid.

"Yes," Torres said and rolled her eyes. "I just didn’t want to stick you with the grunt work, Seven."

"I have done far more demanding tasks as a Borg drone."

"Okay, knock yourself out," B’Elanna said, waving her hands in the air.

"Why would I wish to render myself unconscious?"

Torres’ nostrils flared. "It’s figure of speech, Seven. You might want to brush up on them."

Seven nodded. "I shall access the language database as soon as my shift is finished."

Torres sighed again. "Seven, try not to be so literal."

The former Borg twisted her head considering Torres’ request. She didn’t know how to be less literal.

"Never mind," B’Elanna said. "Seven?"

"Yes?"

"You changed your outfit."

"You are correct," Seven said.

"Why? The other one certainly wasn’t restrictive. It wouldn’t have interfered with your duty." Torres didn’t add that she liked to steal an occasional glance at the Borg’s perfect figure.

Seven looked down at the deck. "My other outfit could be considered... provocative. I do not wish to invite unwanted attention."

*"Whoa,"* Torres thought. *"Whatever’s up with Seven is big."* B’Elanna stood and moved to the young blonde. "Seven, there wasn’t anything wrong with your old outfit. What you wear doesn’t ‘invite’ anything."

Seven still wouldn’t look at her. "I have... I... I have evidence to the contrary."

B’Elanna put her hand on Seven’s shoulder, the statuesque Seven flinched, so the engineer slowly pulled back. "Seven, what are you talking about?"

"I do not... I cannot discuss it," Seven said quietly, staring down at the deck plating.

"Why?" B’Elanna asked as she leaned in, trying to make eye contact.

"It deals with the altered timeline. I was ordered to not discuss things that happened in those realities."

Torres stepped back and sat against the edge of her desk. "If something happened to you, you have to tell someone."

Seven brought her face up and stared through B’Elanna. "I will adapt." Seven’s voiced had the clipped Borg phrasing but Torres thought she heard a hint of sorrow.

"I can’t make you talk about it, but keeping it bottled up isn’t a very good idea."

Seven eyed Torres. "Like you did when you improperly used the holodeck without the safety protocols?"

"Yes, just like that." The Klingon didn’t appreciate having that little irony pointed out.

"Curious that you would offer that advice," Seven observed.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"I already have 'told you about it.'"

"You’re being literal."

"Sorry. I will begin the phaser coil adjustments."

"Okay," B’Elanna said. "Let me know if you need anything." Torres watched the blonde go into the main section of Engineering and then climb into a Jeffrey’s tube with a toolbox. B’Elanna realized the young woman she thought was an iceberg was actually rather fragile. She also realized she needed to talk to the captain about Seven’s comments. B’Elanna suspected someone had sexually harassed Seven, or something worse, in one of the other timelines and she didn’t like that idea much at all. She couldn’t imagine anyone on board behaving so inappropriately and it made the Klingon nervous.
 

Kathryn Janeway spoke with B’Elanna about the Chief Engineer’s suspicions and she couldn’t have been more upset. She knew she would never harass Seven, but she might have admitted her feelings to the exBorg. *"Could that have been enough to make her this upset?"* B’Elanna had also mentioned that Seven flinched when the engineer had touched her, so Janeway considered the idea that she may not be responsible for Seven’s dilemma. Seven’s comment about her clothing was a mystery Janeway couldn’t figure out. Unfortunately, the captain’s gut said she was the cause of Seven’s troubles. *"Maybe I just have a guilty conscience. I shouldn’t have these feelings for one of my officers."* Janeway stood and refilled her coffee cup and took a long swallow and considered her options. She could go to Seven and ask her point blank if she had revealed her feelings to the exdrone. *"Then if she didn’t already know, she would now. And if she’s already dealing with something else, she really doesn’t need that, too."* She could talk to Seven and order her to tell her what happened. *"Like she’d listen. She already made it clear she can’t, no, won’t, defy my order from the other timeline."* She could leave Seven alone and let her talk about it when she was ready. *"Yeah, but she’d never talk about it, and it would just eat her alive."* Janeway put her cup down and sighed. She really was out of her league.
 

CHAPTER THREE

B’Elanna Torres was in her quarters looking over her efficiency reports. Seven had been in Engineering for two weeks, and efficiency up by 24 percent, the Borg showed up for her duty shifts at least an hour early everyday, stayed late after her shift, and often came in during her off hours to finish projects. For two weeks, she was the model employee, and it was thoroughly pissing off Voyager’s Chief Engineer. She was used to Seven arguing with her about everything, and each time the young blonde obediently accepted a command, B’Elanna knew Seven was in trouble.

The captain had finally quit contacting Seven after the first week and was giving her a wide berth. The Doctor couldn’t get the former Borg to go to sickbay, so he called her several times a week to check on her, but no one could get through to the troubled Seven.

B’Elanna had noticed that Seven seemed to be losing weight, and that concerned her most of all, Seven got her energy from the ship, so theoretically, she should maintain a constant, optimal weight. Torres had always thought the former drone was a little on the thin side, but now her cheeks were gaunt. Since no one else seemed to be getting through to Seven, B’Elanna had decided to solve the mystery herself.

She started by accessing Seven’s regeneration records. From what the Klingon hybrid could tell, Seven was regenerating like clockwork, but Torres decided that given Seven’s bizarre behavior, that was highly unlikely, so B’Elanna dug deeper. She discovered a subroutine that fabricated successful regeneration cycles at set intervals. Once B’Elanna filtered out the false records, she was stunned to discover that Seven hadn’t regenerated since the day she informed the crew about the time-loop, two weeks earlier. Everything Torres knew about Seven’s system’s suggested that without regeneration, her body’s organic components would be broken down to power her implants, making two weeks without regeneration the equivalent of two months without eating for a normal Human. No wonder the blonde was withering away. Torres checked the replicator and mess hall records and found that Seven had been ordering small meals. Unfortunately, those only added up to about three crackers a day, if that.

B’Elanna knew that Seven was spending most of her free time in her cargo bay or working, not too unusual, but the exdrone used to spend a lot of her off time with the captain. The only other thing Seven did on her off time now was visit the holodeck, which completely surprised Torres. B’Elanna wondered if Seven was running dangerous programs like she herself had done when she had been in crisis. It was worth a look so B’Elanna programmed the main computer to notify her the next time Seven activated a program. B’Elanna sighed, and thought to herself, *"God I miss fighting with Seven. I never thought I’d say that."*
 

All of the crew in Main Engineering watched as the tension between the Klingon and the Borg escalated. Seven of Nine checked her calculations again and then shoved the padd at Lieutenant B’Elanna Torres. "Check the results yourself. If you realign the nesel feed unit while we are within range of the nebula, it will cause a cascade failure," Seven said with a condescending tone.

Torres shoved the padd away. "I know my ship. The nebula won’t have any effect on the nesels. Now, get the hell out of my engine room."

"You are mistaken. Your arrogance will destroy this ship." Seven’s voice was raising almost to a yell.

Torres yelled first. "You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. The problem will be solved as soon as you take your scrawny ass out of my engine room." The engineer grabbed the former Borg and tried to shove her toward the door, slamming into the lanky blonde when Seven stopped.

"You are illogical," Seven stated and went to the main computer, inputting a string of commands.

"What the hell are you doing?" Torres demanded. She tried to look at the com panel, but Seven straight-armed the engineer, sending her back two feet.

Seven didn’t look up as she answered B’Elanna. "I am locking out the nesel controls. I will release them once we are clear of the nebula."

Then things turned ugly. B’Elanna tried to forcibly remove the Borg. The Borg picked up the Klingon hybrid from behind and dangled her in her air. The Engineering crew disappeared like Cardassian voles when the lights come on. B’Elanna was screaming every obscenity she knew, in Klingon and English, when Captain Janeway entered Main Engineering.

Janeway’s voice snapped both women out of their tirades. "What the hell is going on here?"

B’Elanna stopped squirming, and Seven turned, with the Klingon still trapped helplessly in her grasp, her feet flinging wildly a few inches off the decking. Seven raised an eyebrow and calmly answered. "I am convincing Lieutenant Torres to not destroy the ship."

Torres renewed her struggles. "Put me down you crazy Borg bitc–"

"Enough," Janeway said, her voice chilling the entire room. "Seven, put her down."

"I believe she will become violent, Captain," Seven calmly noted.

"You bet your ass I will," Torres yelled as she tried to kick backwards at Seven. Seven shifted her grip easily avoiding her prisoner.

Janeway lowered her tone, but didn’t raise her voice, a dangerous combination. "I said enough."

Seven released Torres and the Klingon yanked free and moved away from the six-foot tall blonde. "This isn’t over Borg."

"Lieutenant," Janeway said.

"Yes, ma’am," Torres managed through tightly clinched teeth.

Janeway crossed her arms over her chest and stepped in front of Seven. "Explain."

Seven raised an eyebrow. "There is an instability in the nesel feed. If we realign it next to the nebula, it will cause a violent feedback. I locked out the controls to stop Lieutenant Torres from destroying the engine room."

The captain stepped closer, trying to ignore the delicate curve of Seven’s jaw, which she was pushing defiantly out. "Did you see this in one of the other realities?"

Seven shifted her weight. "No, but I am certain."

Janeway pivoted. "B’Elanna?"

"She’s crazy. There’s nothing in that nebula that could damage the nesels."

The captain turned back to her favorite blonde. "Do you have any proof?" Seven extended the padd, which the captain took and looked over, and then finally Janeway spoke. "I don’t see anything."

Seven raised both eyebrows and exhaled. "There is a variance of .000020021 each time the nesels automatically reset."

"And?" Janeway asked. "That’s hardly reason to lock out my Chief Engineer. It’s not statistically significant. Release the controls."

Seven paused. She was certain, well, almost certain... she went to the com panel and released the access.

Torres went to the com panel. "It’s about damn time." B’Elanna began the resequencing program while Janeway looked at Seven, not quite sure how to deal with her. She paced around the room staring at Seven the entire time.

"Seven," the captain said. "I know you are trying to keep the ship safe, but you can’t do it this way."

Seven looked at her captain, feeling a deep wrenching pain as she saw the disappointment in Janeway’s eyes. "I do not want to disappoint you. I only want to make you–"

The nesel feed exploded tossing Seven against the center com panel. She had a split second to turn toward Kathryn as the concussion hurled pieces of the nesel panel through the air. Seven’s Borg enhanced vision gave a digitally zoomed image of a large panel connecting with the side of Kathryn’s head. Seven watched as if in slow motion as the captain’s body flew through the air, limp, landing in a crumpled mass, her body sliding over to a stop against the far wall. Seven didn’t register the white-hot sting on her own forehead as shrapnel pierced her tender, pale skin. The emergency alarms blasted through the room, but Seven didn’t hear them, nor did she hear her own voice as she screamed.

"No..." Seven ran to the captain and slid next to her on her knees. She gently turned Kathryn and saw the captain’s beautiful blue gray eyes, empty, unfocused, never to focus on anything ever again.

Torres was tossed over her com panel but she made it to her feet with extreme effort. "Torres to the bridge, we’ve got a breach in the main nesel feed." B’Elanna turned to assess the damage in time to see Seven pulling the captain into her lap. The auburn haired, exuberant captain was gone, B’Elanna had seen enough death in the Maquis to recognize it, still, she didn’t want to believe it. "Oh, god... Torres to sickbay, medical emergency in Main Engineering." Then B’Elanna began shutting down systems in danger of overloading. She kept glancing over at the two women across the room, the captain’s head dangled limply over Seven’s arm, Janeway’s neck obviously broken, that was hard enough to take, but Seven was completely devastated, she was beyond hysterical.

Seven pulled Kathryn to her and squeezed the pale captain’s body trying to will life back into it. "Kathryn... please, do not leave me... no no no no no..." the young Borg whispered as she rocked on the decking. "You cannot die... I will not let you... Kathryn, no... Please..." Seven leaned down and lifted Kathryn’s flopping head and tried to see some flash of the woman she loved. "Kathryn, you cannot leave me. I cannot exist without you." Tears ran down Seven’s snowy cheeks as she stared into Kathryn’s empty eyes. "You cannot die... I never told you... I never told you... I never told you..." Seven’s words were barely more than strangled sobs.

The Engineering doors opened and the medical teams rushed in a few moments after the engineering repair teams. The Doctor stopped as soon as his eyes fell on Seven, one look and he knew the captain was gone, but he pulled his tricorder out and confirmed his nightmare. Seven looked up at him, still sobbing.

"Help her," the former Borg yelled, her eyes wild and painted red with grief.

"I’m sorry, Seven. She’s gone," he said gently, trying to move closer to check the gash on Seven’s forehead.

"Help her," Seven yelled again. "You must help her..."

The Doctor knew he couldn’t reason with Seven in her condition so he tried to get close enough to sedate her. "Seven, let me take the captain’s body–"

Seven’s eyes raged. "Get away from her! You think she is dead. Why won’t you help her?" Seven didn’t wait for an answer. A horrified Doctor watched as Seven took things into her own hands. "Kathryn..." Seven said, gently stroking the captain’s cold cheek. "I love you. I am sorry..." Seven extended her left hand and her Borg assimilation tubules plunged into Kathryn’s throat.

"Seven, no," the Doctor yelled. He needn’t have worried, Seven’s tubules dug into the captain’s flesh but several seconds later slowly dropped away. Even if Seven wouldn’t accept the captain’s loss, her Borg technology recognized a futile struggle. As soon as her tubules had entered Kathryn’s throat, the sensors in the tubules assessed the possible drone. It took only a few seconds for the sensors to realize most of Kathryn’s brainstem had been crushed, her cerebral cortex was a pulpy mess, and her was neck shattered at the base of her skull.

Seven stared down at her insubordinate tubules. Even her Borg technology deserted her in this hell. Kathryn was dead, and this time the time-loop would not repeat. She pulled Kathryn to her and rocked her, wishing she could die with her captain.
 

Seven’s eyes shot open and she gasped for air. She looked around the room and realized she was on her bed in the cargo bay in her newly sectioned off area of the vast room. She had tried to sleep and hoped she would not dream. Unfortunately, she had. Actually, it had been a memory of one of the other timelines. Seven looked around at the new living quarters she had created by bringing in emergency shelter walls to create her own living space within the cargo bay. She refused to get back into the regenerator, every time she went near it, she was bombarded with the images from the other realities, realities she had awakened to seventeen times in that alcove, and the Borg alcove didn’t allow her to wake up from her nightmares. She would relive them over and over until her cycle completed. The alcove was also an all too tangible reminder that she was not part of Voyager’s family, she was a crewmember, but that was all. The only person who could look beyond her Borgness would never be with Seven the way she desperately needed, and it was slowly destroying the lonely blonde woman.

Seven sighed and sat up, checking the time on her new bedside clock. The young Borg had only been asleep two hours, and she knew from experience she wouldn’t get back to sleep again. She stood and decided she would go to the holodeck. She didn’t feel like going to Engineering to put in extra time on the warp core refit. She couldn’t handle seeing the nesel feed right now.

 
CHAPTER FOUR

After being awakened by the computer when Seven began her holo-program, B’Elanna had quickly dressed and went to investigate. Torres stood in the corridor and scanned the holodeck with her tricorder and could see that Seven was alone inside. *"Big surprise."* She was in the far corner and it appeared the program was a small structure. B’Elanna didn’t want to let Seven hear her enter, so she beamed in to a spot where she was concealed by a wall. The first thing B’Elanna noticed was that it was obviously a bar. *"What the hell?"* Torres moved through the program toward Seven’s location, noticing the program included a piano player, and judging from her appearance, she was from the end of the twentieth century. B’Elanna couldn’t get a clear look at the performer with blonde hair tossed wildly over her shoulder, playing a piano with fevered intent, literally pounding the keys. B’Elanna could see that that the piano player was what used to be called heroine sheik. Torres couldn’t understand why anyone would consider starvation a turn on, then B’Elanna noticed the singer’s left hand, it was wrapped in Borg technology.

B’Elanna made her way toward the stage, careful to stay in the shadows, then Seven began to sing, and B’Elanna was shocked once again as she realized that Seven had a tremendous voice. B’Elanna paused, caught up by Seven’s voice, she was singing something from the end of the twentieth century, from the era of the whining yuppie, if B’Elanna remembered correctly. As Seven sang the haunting lyrics, Torres could hear the raw emotion in the young blonde’s voice. Seven was angst ridden, singing of a broken, bleeding heart, of a love lost and the devastation that follows. *"Now I’m really confused,"* Torres thought.

Seven finished, then stood and grabbed the piano and flipped it over, crashing it onto the stage. It startled B’Elanna and she backed into one of the tables. Seven heard the noise and spun, her eyes widened as she saw the Chief Engineer and anger flashed across the Borg’s tear stained features.

"What are you doing here?" Seven demanded. It was the first hint of anger B’Elanna had seen in weeks.

"I’m sorry," B’Elanna began. "I was worried about you."

"Your concern is misguided. Please leave." Seven's hair bounced on her shoulders as she took in deep breaths, trying desperately to regain her Borg composure, an impossible task. Seven’s secret singing was the only emotional release she allowed herself, and once she was this exposed, it was difficult to recover.

"I don’t think it is," B’Elanna said as she moved closer to the former Borg. "You haven’t been regenerating, and look at you, Seven. You’re falling apart."

"I am intact," Seven said with a shaking voice as she held out her arms.

"That’s not what I mean, and you know it." B’Elanna reached out and gently touched Seven’s side. Seven was wearing a skintight white tank top and jeans from the same era as the bar. You could count each rib showing through the thin white material. "Talk to me," B’Elanna pleaded.

Seven turned away. "I cannot," she whispered.

"Why?"

"I was ordered not to discuss it."

Torres placed her hand on Seven’s shoulder. The unstoppable Borg drone felt fragile under the Klingon’s hand. "So it is about one of the other timelines." Seven nodded, and B’Elanna continued. "You have to talk about... if you tell me, I won’t tell anyone else."

Seven turned and looked at B’Elanna, the young blonde was weary, her eyes not cold unfeeling Borg orbs, but windows to the obvious agony the young woman was in. "If I tell you, I will be letting the captain down," Seven said, her eyes tightening painfully when she mentioned Janeway.

"Talk," B’Elanna said firmly. "You can start by telling me why you haven’t argued with me once since you came to Engineering."

"You are my Commanding Officer," Seven hedged.

"Don’t lie to me, Seven. You don’t do it well. You used to argue with the capt... Oh, god, is that what happened? You disobeyed the captain and something horrible happened?"

"No," Seven said. "Many things happened, among them... I... lost my temper." Seven looked down at the hardwood floor of the holo-bar.

B’Elanna snorted. "Big deal. I do it all the time."

"It was a ‘big deal.’"

B’Elanna lifted Seven’s chin and looked into the troubled ice blue eyes. "Tell me."

Seven reached out and carefully traced B’Elanna’s jaw. The engineer was curious so she allowed it. Seven’s hand stopped and then her fingers trembled. "I... injured you... severely."

"Me?" Torres hadn’t expected that, she had been certain whatever happened was related to the captain. "So?... What?... We got in an argument and you smacked me?" Torres remembered the argument she had with Seven before the whole time-loop thing came up. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and she missed the fiery sparks she used to share with Seven.

Seven continued her examination of B’Elanna’s jaw, as if mesmerized, her eyes glazing over as she was carried back in time. "We argued over the alignment of the nesel feed unit. I told you it would blow out if we tried to reset it next to the nebula we were passing..."

"That’s crazy," Torres said. "It wouldn’t effect anything."

"That is what you said then," Seven said quietly. "I would not let you do it."

B’Elanna almost asked her how dare she tell her what to do in her own engine room, but realized she shouldn’t stop Seven. The troubled blonde might not open up again.

Seven wiped her eyes, which were beginning to tear up. "The captain came down and ordered me to let you proceed... I did."

B’Elanna saw a look of total devastation cross the blonde’s face. She reached out and grasped Seven’s arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "What happened next?"

"It blew out... one of the panels came loose and was thrown across Main Engineering. It... killed the captain." Seven’s eyes released a slow, steady trail of tears. They were hot, and the salt stung her porcelain skin. "It struck her in the side of her head, and she... I went to her, but her eyes were empty, like she wasn’t looking at anything... I begged her not to die... the Doctor came and scanned her... he could do nothing..." Seven looked at B’Elanna with unbridled anger. "He wanted to put her in the morgue... I would not let him..." Seven looked back at the floor.

"And then?" B’Elanna said, realizing the young Borg was completely in love with Voyager’s Captain.

Seven’s voice shook as she looked at the Chief engineer. "You tried to make me let go of her... I told you it was your fault and I grabbed you, by the jaw. I only meant to keep you away from her... then I looked down at her." Seven's voice softened and sounded like a lost child. "She was so pale... her head shifted and I saw the damage the panel had caused. Her blood was covering my legs where I was cradling her..." Seven looked into B’Elanna’s eyes. "I did not mean to hurt you. I was not looking at you, and I... clenched my hand shut into a fist. I pulverized your jaw."

"It was an accident," Torres said comfortingly. B’Elanna would have belted herself in the face for killing the captain, and she wasn’t in love with Janeway, she certainly could understand Seven’s reaction.

"The Doctor spent three hours repairing your facial structure... then he came to take Kathryn’s... body." The young Borg’s lips trembled as she fought to continue, the images filling her mind as she said the words out loud for the first time. "He had to sedate me. I lost consciousness thinking we had corrected the time-loop, but lost the captain... Then I woke up and the day had restarted."

"And that was the day you fixed it, right?"

"No," Seven said, her face darkening. "If only it had been."

"What happened? What could be worse than that?" Torres’ curiosity was getting the best of her.

"I awoke in my alcove, checked the time index, and realized it was starting again. So, without thinking, I went to see the captain... to make sure she was alive... and I said things I should not have."

B’Elanna could imagine the kind of confession watching someone you love die would inspire. "You told her you loved her, didn’t you?"

Seven was stunned, her eyes opening wide, but she slowly nodded. "Yes, I did."

"And she didn’t feel the same way," B’Elanna said gently.

"It is worse than that, B’Elanna," Seven said.

B’Elanna was as shocked by Seven using her first name as she was by the unfolding story. "What then?"

"I lied to her," Seven said.

"I don’t understand."

"I had to know what she felt for me. I told her that we were experiencing a time-loop, but that I could not remember the details from the previous days. I... implied that anything we might do or say would be erased the next day. Then I told her that I loved her."

"What difference would that make?" Torres asked.

"I knew if Kathryn thought neither of us would remember, she would be more likely to be completely honest."

"Oh my god," B’Elanna said. The Klingon rubbed her forehead and shook her head. "She loves you too."

"Yes," Seven said quietly. "But she cannot, will not acknowledge it because I am part of her crew."

"You knew… You knew she wouldn’t admit it if she thought you’d remember it the next day." Seven nodded her head and Torres guided Seven to a chair at a nearby table, easing her down. B’Elanna’s tone was gentle as she whispered, "She wouldn’t admit it because she knew it would tear you up inside."

Seven nodded gravely. "She was right."

"Is there more?" B’Elanna asked. The Klingon hybrid’s gut told her Seven’s extreme reaction meant there was something else.

"Yes. I initiated a physical interaction. She was... receptive."

That was Seven. Blunt and to the point, B’Elanna noted. She reached across the table and took Seven’s hand. "You have to tell her."

"No." Seven jerked back her hand. "I can never tell her. After we... were together... several times, I asked what would happen if I were to recovered some memory of our... interaction. She was... unsettled at the possibility. She said I couldn’t tell anyone. That it would destroy her ability to work with me."

Torres grabbed Seven’s hand. "First, you’ve already destroyed your working relationship with her. You can’t stand to be in the same room with her, and she knows it. Second, I think when she said that she was panicking. You just fu– uh, slept with her, and then you dropped that on her. I don’t think she’d really want you to keep it from her."

"If I tell her, I will betray her," Seven insisted.

"Damn it, Seven. She loves you. Don’t you realize that when you pulled away from her, it hurt her too? And, on top of that, she thinks the reason you pulled away is because she did something to hurt you." Torres tried to figure out how to phrase her next comment. There simply wasn’t an easy way to say it. "She thinks she made a pass at you and it freaked you out."

"She told you that?" Seven couldn’t believe Kathryn would admit to anyone that she had feelings for Seven.

"Not exactly," B’Elanna said. "She and Chakotay think someone sexually harassed you, but the captain’s no fool. She figured out in a second that you’re avoiding her."

Seven looked at the table, sighing without looking up. "What should I do?"

"Tell her," B’Elanna said. Torres couldn’t fathom how the formerly unyielding Seven of Nine had somehow gotten to this state. "Seven, you used to have so much fight. Where did it go? Why aren’t you fighting the captain on this? You know she loves you. Damn it. Go to her and demand that she faces it... faces you… faces what she feels for you."

Seven looked into B’Elanna’s eyes and the tough Klingon felt the pain in the blonde’s stricken face. "She told me that I cannot hold people responsible for actions they never took in this reality."

"That doe not sound like Janeway. She’d want to know what she did in any reality."

"She told me I had to forgive you for destroying the ship... twice," Seven said quietly.

"That’s different. She wouldn’t want you to blame anyone for some stupid mistake they haven’t yet made… uh, concerning the ship, but this isn’t the same thing. Did she actually tell you to never tell her? After you slept together? Or did she just blurt out a panicked response?"

Seven looked down and her voice was quiet. "She reacted to my suggestion that I might remember something, but before we could thoroughly discuss it, or what action I should take, the time-loop restarted the day."

"And you’ve been basing everything on that?" B’Elanna asked incredulously.

"Yes," Seven said.

"She would want to know that she, uh… slept with you." Torres stood and stalked around the table. "Kahless... Seven, she may not have slept with you in this reality, but she does love you. She’s got some stupid Starfleet ideal that tells her she can’t date a crewmember... Well, NEWS FLASH... you’re not in Starfleet."

Seven watched Torres pace like a panther, following B’Elanna with her eyes as the Borg spoke. "I am still under her command."

"So?" the high strung Klingon yelled. "In case you haven’t noticed, we’re decades from home. Janeway better get used to being alone if she won’t date a crewmember."

Seven stood and stepped in front of B’Elanna. "Why are you so... adamant about this?" Seven asked.

Torres stopped dead in her tracks, the color drained for her dark features and her head bent slightly forward. "Because I let someone I love get away. Now she’s dead, killed by those Cardassian and Dominion bastards." Torres straightened and grabbed Seven’s shoulders. "You were upset when you thought the captain died without knowing you loved her..."

"Yes, but I did tell her."

"No," B’Elanna said gently, most on Voyager wouldn’t believe she was able to create such gentle tones with her Klingon vocal chords. "You didn’t. You experienced it, but she didn’t. If something happens to her, she’ll never know... And you’ll have to live with that forever."

Seven flinched at the thought. Logically she knew better than anyone else that it was true, but she hadn’t let herself face it. She remembered the terrible, wrenching ache when she held Kathryn’s body in her arms. She could not let that happen again.

Seven looked at B’Elanna; the spark was back in the former drone’s eyes. "Thank you, B’Elanna." Seven walked out leaving the stunned Engineer alone in the holo-bar.

Torres watched her leave and wondered if she was sending Seven into an even more treacherous encounter. Sure, the captain had admitted her feelings in the other reality, but that was when she thought it wouldn’t matter. What would Janeway’s reaction be to Seven’s deception that caused the admission? B’Elanna sighed. Whatever happened, at least Seven wouldn’t have to suffer in silence anymore.

 
CHAPTER FIVE

Torres came into Engineering half an hour before her shift started and went to her small office and began checking the reports from the night before. The ship was at station keeping while the warp core was undergoing some routine maintenance, which also gave the crew the chance to work on the hull. She had left instructions for the night crew to begin scanning the hull for any damage. When the huge task was completed, she would then assign teams to go out and repair the microfractures that develop as a normal part of the ship’s going into and out of warp. The tiny imperfections were not dangerous unless ignored for long periods of time. Torres knew the hull wasn’t due for repairs for another three months, but she liked to keep ahead of things, and the warp core work was a good excuse. Torres scanned the night watch report and her eyes stopped on a completed analysis of the hull. She hadn’t expected the night shift to have time to finish the labor-intensive task. She called up the file, and the first thing she noticed was that the technician who performed the scan was Seven of Nine.

"Damn, what was she doing back on duty last night?" B’Elanna asked herself. Torres walked into main Engineering and went over to Lieutenant Nicolletti. "Nicolletti, how long did Seven work last night?"

Nicolletti stared at Torres for a brief moment. "Isn’t she pullin’ a double?"

"No," B’Elanna said slowly. "Why?"

"She’s been here most of the night," Nicolletti said. "I kinda’ figured since she always comes in to, you know, uh, freelance, that she did whatever the two of you thought needed to be done. The last time I saw her, she was heading toward airlock twelve, although I didn’t know there was anything there that needed maintenance."

"Thanks," Torres said, quickly heading toward airlock twelve. She had a queasy feeling in her gut that usually meant trouble. She validated that concern when she entered the airlock and noticed the blinking red lights that meant someone was outside... on the hull.

Torres growled before tapping her com badge. "Computer, identify who is on Voyager’s hull?" B’Elanna had pretty damn good idea who was foolish enough to be out there.

*"Seven of Nine is currently working on Voyager’s hull,"* the computer responded.

"Who else?" Torres asked, knowing two people had to always be together whenever a space walk was involved, otherwise, accidents could easily happen.

*"Seven of Nine is alone."*

"Son of a bitch," Torres yelled.

*"Please restate command,"* the computer said.

"Never mind," Torres said as she went to the nearest locker and yanked out an environmental suit. Torres tapped her com badge. "Torres to Seven of Nine."

Seven's voice came back with an echo from the inside of her helmet. *"Yes, Lieutenant?"*

"Seven, what the hell are you doing outside by yourself?"

"That’s not what I meant and you know it," Torres snapped as she stepped into her environmental suit.

"Damn it, get back in here," Torres ordered, wiggling her arms into the suit, guessing that Seven may not come right back in willingly.

*"I am not finished,"* Seven stubbornly answered.

"Don’t argue with me," Torres said as she zipped her suit up.

*"Last night you encouraged me to return to my rebellious behavior,"* Seven stated.

"Fine, I’ll just have to drag your ass back in here. Torres out." B’Elanna grabbed her helmet. "Torres to bridge..."

*"Bridge..."* Janeway’s voice echoed in the small airlock.

Torres rolled her eyes. It just had to be the captain. "I’m heading out to the hull through airlock twelve. Log me as outside the of ship."

*"Lieutenant,"* Janeway said with irritation evident in her tone, *"You know better than to spacewalk alone."*

Torres cringed. "Actually, I’m joining a member of my staff..."

*"You have someone outside right now?"* Janeway’s tone had shifted to highly irritated. *"Why wasn’t the bridge informed? And since when do you let people out there alone?"*

Torres didn’t know what happened after Seven left the holo-deck the night before, but she knew the captain would not like her answer. "Captain, I did not give permission for anyone to leave the ship. Seven decided to get a jump on the hull repairs."

*"Seven’s out there alone?"* Janeway was now angry and concerned.

"That’s why I’m goin’ out, Captain."

*"Drag her back in here and then both of you report to my ready room, Janeway out."*

"Yes, ma’am." B’Elanna secured her helmet and then activated the airlock. She inhaled deeply and felt the weightlessness overtake her, fighting the urge to throw up. Klingons were not known for their spacewalking skills. She activated her magnetic boots and began her slow journey outside. She immediately saw Seven about sixty meters away.

"She couldn’t have been just outside the door. No, that would have been too easy, " Torres said under her breath.
 

Kathryn Janeway paced her ready room like a nervous schoolgirl waiting for her first date. She hadn’t seen Seven in over a week, she’d been giving the former Borg space, trying to let the young woman work through whatever she was dealing with. Which meant that Kathryn had been worried sick about the young blonde, and the captain had missed Seven terribly, a fact she was not very happy to admit. Starfleet Captains do not miss members of their crew... well, they do, but they shouldn’t for the reasons she missed Seven. Kathryn Janeway had used the past two weeks to realize exactly how much she loved Seven. Being away from the willowy blonde had been torture, a torture made worse by the fact that Kathryn had known that Seven was hurting. To be in love with someone and to not be able to help them was the captain’s worst nightmare.

She went to her desk, not wanting to be pacing when her two officers arrived. She leaned into her chair and sighed, the captain knew she was in very deep trouble, she’d only been away from Seven for a week, and it already hurt more than her separation from Mark. She had to admit, that despite the fact that she had loved the man, he never touched her soul the way Seven did. Janeway leaned onto her desk and rubbed her eyes. Could she have revealed her feelings to Seven? A lot could have happened to the young Borg. Seven had said that the ship had been destroyed twice. Janeway considered that, if she hadn’t known about the time-loop, and she thought she was about to die, she may have told Seven. Suddenly Kathryn felt her heart race. That could be what happened, but would Seven have been that upset by a mere admission of love? *"Apparently Seven has no interest in me,"* Kathryn thought. *"Not at all."*

The door chimed and Janeway steadied herself before speaking. "Come in."

Torres came through the door with Seven of Nine behind her. Seven was wearing her black, loose fitting coveralls, coming along side B’Elanna and the two stood at attention in front of Janeway’s desk. Kathryn stared at Seven, deciding what to say, but she was distracted by the fact that Seven still wouldn’t make eye contact, and the fact that Seven looked like she’d lost at least ten pounds in the last week. It was tough to tell with her new outfit, but the young blonde was definitely too thin.

"All right," Janeway said in a deep, calm tone that translated to ‘you’re in deep trouble.’ "Who wants to explain?"

Torres started to speak but Seven cut her off. "I was repairing the ship’s hull." Seven’s eyes were locked on the wall behind the captain’s back. Seven knew better than to look into Kathryn’s eyes, she had seen the love in them in the other reality, and now she couldn’t stand seeing it denied.

"Alone?" the captain said quietly. "That is against every safety protocol on board. I will not have you endangering yourself like that."

Seven looked down at the captain’s desk. It was bad enough that Seven couldn’t be with Kathryn, but to be near her and feel the captain’s disappointment was almost too much for the young Borg. "Yes, Captain," Seven said quietly.

Torres stepped forward. "Captain, it’s not completely Seven’s fault, I should have made the regulation more–"

"You’re not off the hook, Lieutenant. You can be sure of that," Janeway said, cutting off the Engineer with a wickedly sharp tone. "You are responsible for the safety of your people. Why didn’t you have the automatic bridge notification in effect on that airlock?"

Seven spoke without looking up. "I deactivated it."

"What?" Janeway demanded, standing and leaning onto her desk "Seven, you’re relieved of duty. I won’t have you taking these kinds of risks."

Seven nodded.

"For how long?" Torres asked.

Janeway’s eyes never left Seven. B’Elanna thought she saw sorrow in them. "Until Seven agrees to talk to someone about what’s going on with her."

Seven’s head shot up and she looked at B’Elanna. Janeway noted the quick exchange between the women as they obviously acknowledged some private bit of information. Janeway also noted that Seven seemed nervous.

"Yes, Captain," Seven said.

The captain crossed her arms over her chest and softened her voice. "Seven, I want you to get some rest. You don’t look well; go regenerate." Kathryn noticed the young Borg shift uncomfortably. "You’re dismissed, Seven."

"Yes, Captain." Seven turned and walked toward the door. Torres began to turn.

"Not you, Lieutenant." Janeway’s voice was verbal liquid nitrogen.

Torres stopped midturn and sighed, then slowly turned back and faced her captain as the door hissed shut behind Seven.

"All right, what’s going on with her?" Janeway asked impatiently.

Torres wasn’t sure how to proceed. On the one hand, this was the captain, on the other, she was a woman in love with Seven, a woman unwilling to admit those feelings, that made for a very delicate situation, and B’Elanna Torres was not known for her delicate handling of anything.

"I’m waiting," Janeway said. The captain noticed her Chief Engineer’s discomfort. "Sit down."

Torres sat and tried to get comfortable, not an easy task considering her situation. She was worried about Seven, but she also didn’t want to betray her promise to keep the Borg’s secret.

"It’s something from the other time-line," Torres finally said.

Kathryn nodded. "And from the looks you two just exchanged, I think you know exactly what that something is."

*"Well, I’m screwed,"* B’Elanna thought. "Captain, I can’t divulge something told to me in confidence–"

"I am the captain of this ship," Janeway said harshly. "She is my officer. If something’s effecting her to this extent, I need to know everything."

Torres gripped her temples with her hand and rubbed her eyes. She was not happy about her current fate. She never should have let Chakotay put Seven in her department. "I can’t..."

"That’s not an option," Janeway said calmly.

Torres sighed and looked up at the captain. "All I can tell you is that you should look into your own heart."

Kathryn leaned back and stared at B’Elanna. Janeway didn’t like anyone telling her what to do, especially in such a cryptic manner. "I think you’d better explain that comment."

"I can’t. It’s not my place." Torres did not want to be in the middle of this anymore than she already was.

Janeway gave B’Elanna a glare that would shear through duranium deckplating. "It just became you your place."

"I talked to Seven about what’s, uh, bothering her. It’s not what you think, Captain," Torres said, shifting in her chair.

"And just what do I think it is?" Janeway demanded, leaning onto her desk.

Torres looked the captain in the eyes. "You think you made a pass at her."

Janeway’s eyes widened and she leaned back into her chair, taking a deep breath and slowly let it out, trying to rein in her temper. "And just what brought you to that conclusion?"

"I’m not an idiot, Captain," Torres said. She could see the captain was extremely uncomfortable.

"What are you saying?" the captain asked.

"Talk to Seven. I will tell you that your feelings for her that are not the problem here," the Klingon added.

"I don’t have any feelings for her," Janeway lied. "No more than I do for any other crew member."

Torres shook her head. "I don’t suggest using that strategy with Seven."

Janeway stood and walked around her desk and then sat on its edge directly in front of the caramel skinned Klingon. She softened her voice. "B’Elanna, please tell me what happened."

There was a long pause as B’Elanna weighed her options. Finally she decided to put Seven first, above her own Klingon honor. "You and Seven feel the same way about each other."

There was another long pause as Janeway considered the implications of B'Elanna statement. The captain rocked back on the desk and crossed her arms over her chest. She still wasn’t ready to admit her feelings for Seven. "And just what do I feel for Seven?"

Torres rolled her eyes and released a disgusted snort. "Permission to speak freely, Captain?"

"You mean you haven’t been?" Torres glared her response, so Janeway bit her lip. "Permission granted."

"You’re an idiot, ma’am."

"Excuse me?" Janeway had given her permission to speak freely, not insult her.

"This ship is decades from home, and if you’ve got a chance to find happiness... then for god sake don’t screw it up."

Janeway took a breath and counted to ten in her head. "If you’re referring to an action I took in some other reality–"

"No, Captain. I’m not. I’m talkin’ about the actions you’re NOT taking in this reality."

Janeway had all she could tolerate. "I brought you in here to find out what’s going on with Seven, not to give me a personality profile. If you don’t mind, Starfleet already has one on file."

"Fine," Torres said.

"Okay," Janeway said. "Let’s take a moment. I want to know what Seven told you about the other realities."

"Ma’am, can I go? Because I won’t be the one to have this conversation with you, this is between you and Seven."

"I’m the captain, and you’ll have any conversation I tell you to," Janeway said in her deadly deep, smoldering tone.

Torres actually laughed. "Like hell."

"You’re pushing the line of insubordination, Lieutenant," Janeway said, her voice like ice but her eyes flashing fire.

"Then I guess you’d better put me on report."

Janeway gave B’Elanna the look that told the Klingon she was about to have a first class dressing down, courtesy of Captain Kathryn Janeway. Janeway took a deep breath so she could get some steam behind her tirade.

*"Sickbay to Janeway..."* the Doctor said over the com.

Janeway eyed Torres who let out a relived sigh. Janeway on the other hand, squeezed her eyes slightly as she shifted her focus. "Janeway here..."

*"Captain, Seven of Nine was just brought in to sickbay. I thought you should know."*

Torres and the captain both stood. Janeway’s voice betrayed her feelings. "What do you mean, brought in?"

*"She collapsed in the corridor near her cargo bay."*

"On my way…Is she okay?" Janeway asked with Torres following as they hurried through the bridge to the turbo lift.

*"She’s... well, I’d rather discuss it with you in sickbay."* the Doctor said gravely.

"Fine. Janeway out."

Torres and the captain moved into the turbo-lift, the doors hissing shut, each woman caught up in her own thoughts.
 

CHAPTER SIX

B’Elanna and the captain rode quietly as the turbo-lift sped toward sickbay. After a few moments, the captain broke the silence. "She looked pale... and thin."

"It’s my fault. I should have sent her to sickbay last night," Torres said angrily.

"What do you mean?" Janeway demanded.

"I saw her last night, in the holo-deck. I saw how thin she was... you can’t tell in that new outfit of hers... she’s lost so much weight..."

"Why didn’t you take her to see the Doctor? There might be something wrong with her alcove." Janeway realized she should have had the same concern. She should have insisted Seven go to sickbay herself.

Torres sighed. "It’s not the alcove."

Janeway lunged toward Torres like a lioness protecting her cubs. "Explain."

B’Elanna looked into her captain’s eyes. "Seven hasn’t regenerated since this whole thing began. She has been eating, but not enough...obviously."

Captain Janeway lost her composure, her voice cracking as her volume increased. "Why didn’t you tell someone? How dare you keep this to yourself? I should put you on report. It’s your job to notify –"

"I know!" B’Elanna yelled, her voice strained. "Don’t you think I know? She promised me she’d try to eat more. And she can’t regenerate because that god forsaken alcove doesn’t let her wake up from her nightmares."

Janeway’s eyes widened as the lights from the passing decks flickered slower, signifying they were almost at their destination. "Nightmares? I didn’t know."

"Why would you? You’re the last person she would tell... the nightmares are about you," B'Elanna blurted out.

"What?" Kathryn asked, her voice leaving her. "Me?"

"She saw you die... And every time she goes to sleep, she relives it."

"Is that what’s been bothering her?" Kathryn asked gently.

"Partly. But it’s what happened after that..."

The turbolift stopped and the doors opened. B’Elanna hurried out so she wouldn’t have to answer any more questions. She had already said too much. Janeway quickly fell into step with her as they entered sickbay and the captain shot Torres a look that let her know the conversation wasn’t over, then the captain stopped, and Torres almost bumped into her as soon as they saw Seven. The ex Borg was in a bio bed, unconscious with the Doctor milling around the bed adjusting the settings and scanning the young woman.

"Doctor?" Janeway asked.

He looked up from Seven at the two new arrivals. "Captain..." He focused on the Klingon hybrid. "Lieutenant, I’m glad you’re here. How much do you know about Seven’s Borg technology?"

"Uh," Torres said as she moved closer. "Not much... some, a little more since One was on board, but you know more."

"I may understand her organic components, but I’m a doctor, not an engineer. Her abdominal implant is consuming her body."

"Doctor," Janeway said as she moved toward Seven’s bed. "How serious is this?"

"I don’t know, Captain. I don’t understand why it’s happening. I’ve checked her records and she’s been regenerating on schedule," he said solemnly.

"No," B’Elanna said. "She hasn’t. She falsified the records. She hasn’t regenerated since the time-loop."

The Doctor glared at the engineer. "Well, it would be nice if I was informed about this. That certainly explains a lot."

"What do you mean?" the captain asked.

"She’s lost twenty three pounds in the last two weeks," he said, glaring at B'Elanna as if it were the engineer's fault.

Janeway’s eyes widened. "How can that be? She should be more resilient than the rest of us. After all, she’s still part Borg."

The Doctor said what B’Elanna already knew. "We’ve, or rather, I’ve changed all that. By removing her implants and trying to switch her back over to eating and sleeping, we’ve actually made her less resistant in those areas. As long as she regenerates, she can go without eating or sleeping. But, with the changes I made, if she does stop regenerating... well, as you can see... Her implants have been feeding off of her organic systems. I’ve got an IV giving her nutrients."

"Can you reverse the damage?" Kathryn asked.

"I think so," he said. "I’ve got her heavily sedated. She wouldn’t stay in sickbay once she woke up, and she needs to. Once I’ve got her stabilized, we should make sure she regenerates for at least eighteen hours."

Torres stepped closer. "Doctor, can you give her something to keep her from dreaming?"

"Why would I want to do that?" he asked.

"Can you?" Torres asked again.

He shook his head. "I wouldn’t suggest it. Her system is a mess. I’m not willing to upset her brain chemistry."

"Doctor," Janeway said quietly. "She’s been having nightmares. That’s why she hasn’t regenerated."

He stared at the captain. "She can’t dream in her alcove. The only thing she could possibly experience while regenerating would be a memory loop."

Janeway stepped closer. "What’s that?"

"From what I can tell," he said. "It is a series of actual memories that repeat throughout the process, an instant replay of sorts. I don’t see why that would upset her. It could only be something she’s already lived through."

The captain rubbed her eyes and walked over to the bed and looked down at Seven. For the moment, the delicate blonde was resting peacefully and Kathryn had an urge to brush her hand across the pale cheek. Her skin looked so soft.

"Captain," Torres said, breaking the spell Kathryn had been in.

Janeway turned slowly and faced B’Elanna. "What is it Lieutenant?"

"I should..." Torres was going to say she should go back to Engineering, but one look at the torment on the captain’s face changed her mind. "Captain, I think we should talk."

Janeway raised one eyebrow, she hadn’t expected the Klingon to change her stance, so Kathryn turned to the hologram. "Doctor, do you mind if we use your office?" Normally the captain would have gone to her ready room, but she didn’t want to be that far from the young Borg.

"Of course... but if this is about Seven–"

"No," Janeway said, her tone making it clear that it was not up for debate. Janeway went to his office with B’Elanna on her heels, they entered and Janeway quickly accessed the com panel and instantly shaded the clear walls to dark black. She didn’t want any uninvited observers. The captain sat on the edge of the desk and crossed her arms over her chest, looking expectantly at Torres. "Well?"

Torres chose to lean against the darkened wall instead of taking the chair. She tried to think of a delicate way to say it, but at the moment it escaped her. "Captain, I told you that you and Seven feel the same way about each other..."

"Yes? And just exactly how is that?"

Torres crossed her arms over her chest mimicking the captain’s stance. "She’s in love with you, and before you try to deny it, even if I didn’t know what I do, that look on your face when you saw Seven just now would have proved you feel the same way."

Janeway looked down at the floor. She knew it was hopeless to deny it. "And Seven knows?"

"You could say that," Torres said delicately.

"Then why is she so upset?" Part of Kathryn was relieved, no overjoyed, that Seven felt the same way. She knew it would be complicated, but she had spent the last week in agony without seeing her. She realized she’d do anything, buck any regulation, face anyone to not have to go through that pain anymore.

"You told her that you two could never be together... again."

"Because I’m the captain..." Janeway said, then the rest of B’Elanna’s sentence processed and she leaned toward Torres. "Again? What exactly does that mean?"

Torres squirmed. If anyone should have to explain this, it was Seven, not her. "Uh, well... ma’am, you slept with her."

"Oh my god... what the hell was I thinking? Oh, I wasn’t thinking..." Janeway paced like a trapped cat. "How could I have been so stupid? ... and then, to tell her to keep it to herself? Why would I have–"

"It’s not that simple," Torres cut in.

"Oh?"

"Seven wasn’t exactly honest with you."

Janeway gave B’Elanna a vicious glared that demanded an explanation.

"She, well, after she saw you killed... when the day repeated again..." Torres did not want to have this conversation. "She wanted, no needed to know how you felt..."

Janeway cringed and inhaled deeply at the thought of Seven suffering through that. "I can’t believe I said anything. Up until a week ago I wasn’t ready to face it," Janeway said more to herself than Torres.

"Well, ma’am. After Seven watched you die..." Torres paused, waiting for the captain to stop pacing, it was very distracting. "She needed you to be honest... and she didn’t think you would be..."

"I didn’t think I would have either," Janeway admitted. "That must have been some other reality."

"Well," Torres said. "She told you when the day repeated everyone would forget what happened... even her."

Janeway eyes widened as she considered that. If she was given the chance to be honest, even before the time-loop, to tell Seven how much she meant to her, and have it not remembered... she would have. It would have been impossible to pass up the chance to express that love. She also knew it wouldn’t be a huge leap to think she would have just as easily made love to Seven under those conditions, to share one night of passion that would have had to make up for a lifetime of denial.

"Captain?" Torres asked, her concern evident, having never seen the captain looking so lost.

"I think I understand," Janeway said. "What I don’t understand is why I told her not to tell me about it. If I didn’t think she’d remember, why would I have bothered to tell her that? I can’t imagine giving her that advice. I would never want her to hold this inside alone."

Torres sighed, relieved to hear the captain’s response. "I think she asked you about it right before the next time shift, and you… well, didn’t have much time to respond. I’m guessing she filled in the rest by using your advice about the other incidents that happened... like me destroying the ship."

"Oh?" Janeway asked.

"Twice, apparently..." Torres cracked a tiny grin. "I wish she’d kept that little gem to herself."

Janeway ran her hand through her hair. "I would have told her to leave that in the past, that it hadn’t actually happened in this timeline... and I can see how she may have confused it with... uh, the other situation with me."

"What are you gonna’ do?"

"I wish I knew," Kathryn said quietly.

B’Elanna’s eyes flashed. "Why won’t you let yourself love her?"

Kathryn released a sarcastic, strangled laugh. "I’m the captain."

"And?" Torres demanded.

Janeway stared at B’Elanna. "And it wouldn’t be proper."

"And breaking her heart is?"

The anguish that covered Janeway’s face shocked B’Elanna. She’d never seen the captain display so much emotion. Janeway's voice was tight. "I don’t want to hurt her. I lo... The last thing I want to do is hurt her."

"You won’t even let yourself say it, will you? She’s not the only one you’re hurting. Look inside, Captain."

Janeway glanced at the wall blocking her view of Seven. "I can’t let myself. I have to be strong... for the ship, my crew..."

Torres gently put her hand on Kathryn’s shoulder. "You’d be a lot stronger if you weren’t so determined to stand alone. Captain, we all need to have love. The crew wants you to be happy, and if that means being with Seven, then, well, do it. Don’t throw it away... I, I’m speaking from experience."

Janeway drew in a breath, it was difficult, her chest was tight and her body stiff. "I don’t know how..."

Torres was stunned. She had never seen the captain this exposed, she didn’t know she could be. She always saw the captain as unshakable, and worst of all, Torres was no expert at this, her own failures were proof of that, but she tried to offer what she could. "Go to her," B’Elanna said simply.

Janeway stared at the Klingon hybrid for a long moment, and then her sardonic half grin peeked out. "You make it sound easy."

Torres snorted her sarcastic laugh. "Oh, it won’t be easy... we’re talkin’ about Seven. The woman takes everything literally, she’s stubborn as a Targ, and has a temper to rival mine. She’s gonna’ drive you nuts."

A sorrowful, yet hopeful expression covered Kathryn’s face. "I do... you know. I do love her."

B’Elanna snorted again. "Really?" she asked sarcastically.

"Thank you, B’Elanna. Now, if you don’t mind... there’s someone out there who needs me."

Janeway tapped the access panel and returned the walls to normal and opened the door.

"It’s about damn time," Torres said as she watched Kathryn exit.

Janeway came out and was surprised to see Seven awake, awake and arguing with the Doctor.

"I will not regenerate," the young Borg stated.

"Seven, your body is starting to shut down. You have to go back to your alcove." The Doctor tried to put his hand on Seven’s arm but she jerked away, it wasn’t his touched she craved.

"Seven," Kathryn said quietly.

Seven turned to face the captain, but she looked at her com badge, then the auburn hair with flecks of gold and red framing her face. The young Borg couldn’t look into her slate blue eyes.

"Captain, I was unaware of your presence," Seven managed to say.

"Doctor, leave us alone," Janeway said.

"What?" he asked. "First you kick me out of my own office, and now my sickbay?"

B’Elanna came out of the office, Seven saw her and the exdrone’s face drained of all remaining color. B’Elanna gave the blonde a weak smile.

"How you feelin’?" Torres asked as she came alongside the bed.

"I will be fine as soon as I leave here," Seven said indignantly.

"Not yet," Kathryn said gently, raising her eyebrows at Torres and the engineer understood she was no longer needed.

"I’ll see ya’ later, Seven. I know you’ll feel better soon," Torres said, giving the captain a knowing look and leaving.

The Doctor sighed. "Fine, I’ll be in my office...unless you want to haul her in there for your little talk." Janeway froze him in his tracks with one glance. He cleared his throat and then quickly ducked out.

Seven sat up and then looked down at her legs. "Captain, I am sorry to inconvenience you."

Kathryn moved closer, careful not to crowd the young blonde. "You’re not inconveniencing me. I’m just worried about you." Janeway edged closer until she was almost touching Seven’s thigh. She could feel the heat radiating off of her willowy, muscular leg. Voyager’s brave, fearless Captain was shaking in her Starfleet issue boots. Kathryn’s voice shook as she spoke. "Seven, please, look at me."

Seven looked into Kathryn’s face, and the young Borg drew in a deep breath when she saw the same love she had only been seeing in her memories. "Captain?"

Kathryn smiled shyly but warmly. "Somehow I don’t think you called me ‘Captain’ in one of those other realities."

Seven’s eyes widened and she felt her face blush deep red. "Lieutenant Torres betrayed my confidence." It was a statement, not a question.

"I’m glad she did," Kathryn said quietly. "You never should have kept this from me."

Seven shifted her eyes back down to her legs. "You are disappointed."

Kathryn lifted Seven’s chin and looked into her azure eyes. "I’m not disappointed. I could never be disappointed in you. I just hate to think of you suffering all this time. Why didn’t you come to me?"

Seven drew in a deep breath through her nose and tears slowly formed at the edges of her eyes. "I should not have told B’Elanna... and, I lied to you..."

Kathryn reached up and wiped a tear from Seven’s cheek. "I’m glad you talked to B’Elanna... you didn’t have to keep this to yourself. As for the lying… I can understand what happened. You saw me killed and had to find out how I felt. It’s not the way I would have liked you to handle it, but, well, I wasn’t in your position." Seven sighed deeply and Kathryn edged as close as she could before continuing. "I’m willing to leave that in past…You could have come to me."

Confusion bathed Seven’s face. "I... I did not expect this reaction." The young Borg’s lip quivered.

"Seven, Annika, I... I realized that I can’t keep denying my feelings for you," Kathryn said as she caressed Seven's cheek, the softness making her fingers tingle and her heart flutter. Seven leaned toward the warmth of Kathryn’s hand, tears pouring from Annika’s eyes. Kathryn brought her other hand up and gently stroked Seven’s silky burnt platinum hair. "What is it? I thought this would make you happy."

Seven smiled through her tears and nodded enthusiastically. "I am very happy. It is just… you touched me this way... before."

Janeway blushed as she realized what Seven meant. "Oh." The captain cleared her throat. "This may sound ... odd considering what’s already happened, but I... well, I’d like to take it slow."

Seven smiled and looked away, but quickly turned back. "I understand. I have experienced...us. You have not."

Janeway cleared her throat to silence a laugh. "You have quite a way of putting things," Kathryn said, bringing her hand down and resting it on Seven’s leg, and she had to contain the surge of electricity that shot through her. Perhaps taking things slow wasn’t such a great idea. "Right now, Seven, you need to regenerate."

Seven felt like she coming back to life again. She rested her hand on top of the captain’s. "I am frighten, Kathryn. I have memories from..."

"Shhh," Kathryn said as she put her fingers to Seven’s lips. "I know, but I’ll be with you. I’ll wait right there while you regenerate. If you start to have one of those memories, if I see you the slightest bit upset, I’ll end the cycle."

Seven studied the woman in front of her, the young Borg had closed herself off over the last two weeks, so much so that she had become more like the drone she had originally been than the woman she had become. That didn’t mater anymore, all that mattered was that Kathryn was with her.

"You will not leave me?"

"No, I won’t," Kathryn promised.

"It will be eighteen hours," Seven pointed out.

"I know," Kathryn said with a warm smile.

"If there is an emergency... and you have to leave..."

"Then I’ll end the cycle until I can come back or someone else can be with you. I won’t leave without telling you... I won't let you suffer alone anymore," Kathryn swore.

Seven reached out and let her fingertips brush across Kathryn’s cheek, the captain shuddered at the young woman’s touch. Seven smiled weakly. "I will comply."
 

CHAPTER SEVEN

Captain Janeway sat in a chair beside Seven of Nine’s alcove. She had been there for ten hours, and had awakened Seven from her painful memories six times. The captain kept vigil beside the woman she loved, hoping to heal some of the hurt the young exdrone had endured. She heard Seven murmur and stood, watching as Seven’s eyebrows furrowed together and her breathing increased. Kathryn recognized the expression even hidden behind closed eyes and she quickly accessed the controls to the alcove, stopping the cycle. Seven collapsed forward as soon as the green lights quit flickering over her head.

The computer announced its disapproval, *"Regeneration cycle incomplete."*

"Kathryn!" Seven yelled. "No...."

Janeway hugged the shaking Seven tightly to her chest. "Shhh, I’m here... it’s over, Seven. I’m right here."

"Kathryn," Seven whispered, clinging to the captain and sobbing. Janeway stroked her golden hair and pulled her protectively against her chest. After many long minutes, Kathryn eased Seven away from her, the former Borg stubbornly squeezing tighter, but she finally allowed the separation.

The captain kissed the tears from Seven’s eyes. "I’m here." Kathryn ached seeing Seven go though the memories again and again, each time she tumbled out of the alcove she was caught up in the midst of her horrible ordeal, each time she had to be reassured that Kathryn was not dead. Kathryn shivered at the thought of her beloved going through this torment alone over the last two weeks, even if those had only been nightmares and not these torturous memory loops.

Seven’s breathing slowed and she pulled away, embarrassed by her display of emotion. "I am sorry," she said quietly.

"Stop apologizing. I’m here for you. Annika, I love you." Janeway felt tears fill her eyes as she said the words that she had thought she never could. "I love you with all I am."

Seven pulled Kathryn to her and would not let go. "I keep thinking this is a dream. If it is, I do not want to wake up."

"It’s real." Kathryn eased her sweet Borg back so she could look into her classical features. "Seven, how do you feel?" Kathryn asked.

Seven gave Kathryn one of her incredulous stares, complete with one raised eyebrow. "I have just experienced your death...again. I am not feeling well."

Janeway leaned forward and kissed Seven’s forehead. "That’s not what I mean. Physically? Do you still feel weak?"

"I will not lose consciousness again if that is what you mean."

"Faint, Seven. You fainted," Kathryn said, cracking a half smile.

"Borg do not faint," Seven said tenaciously, but there was a hint of a smirk.

"You’re not Borg anymore," Janeway said as she pulled Seven’s hair of its bun and raked her fingers through it. "I spoke with the Doctor. He said if you want to get some sleep for the rest of the night you can come back in the morning and finish your regeneration cycle...if you eat something."

"If you need to rest, Kathryn, you may go..."

"That’s not what I meant at all," Kathryn said, taking Seven’s face in her hands and looking into the young blonde’s piercing ice blue eyes. "I thought you might like to go back to my quarters and sleep... with me."

"I would like that," Seven said with a sensual grin.

"No, I mean sleep, Seven." Kathryn smiled and guided the former drone away from the alcove. "You need sleep."

Seven looked disappointed, but she allowed Kathryn to lead her toward the doors. "Very well... But I assure you I am very rested."

"I’ll bet," Kathryn said, taking Seven’s hand as they entered the corridor. The captain didn’t let go when several crewmen passed by. Janeway looked over at Seven’s clothing. "Annika, why did you change your outfit?"

Seven blushed. "Because in the other timeline, you told me... that every time you saw me in it… you wanted to rip it off me and take me right there on the deck plating. I thought it prudent to not put you through that."

"I did?" Now Janeway blushed. "I can’t believe I admitted that."

 
Once they arrived at Kathryn’s quarters, the captain sat Seven on the couch and went to the replicator, then turned to her beautiful companion. "Seven, what do you feel like eating?"

Seven blushed, which surprised the captain. Janeway moved closer, wondering if the former drone was having some adverse reaction to stopping the regeneration.

"Seven?" Kathryn asked again.

Seven looked down at the floor, but not before Kathryn saw an absolutely undaunted smile. "I cannot have want I want most…"

Janeway suddenly realized that her young blonde Borg had apparently acquired an appetite for oral sex in the one night they shared. Kathryn felt her stomach ripple at the thought of Seven’s full lips wrapping her most intimate spot. "Uh, well… what else can I get you?" Kathryn managed to ask.

Seven looked up. "B’Elanna suggested the emergency ration bars. I find them palatable and I only have to ingest a small portion to get all of my daily requirements."

Kathryn made a face that showed her unspoken disapproval, but retrieved the item for the statuesque blonde. "We definitely have to work on your palate," Kathryn said as she handed Seven the bar.

She nibbled on the bar while Kathryn got herself a cup of coffee and sat next to the Borg on the couch and studied her. Seven allowed it, glad to just be spending time with the woman she loved. Seven ate about an eighth of the bar and then put it onto the coffee table.

Janeway raised her eyebrow. "You’re not done are you?"

Seven raised her own eyebrow at the beautiful auburn haired captain. "I cannot tolerate large quantities of solid nutrition."

Sorrow covered Kathryn’s face. She had no idea the young Borg was this intolerant of something as Human as eating. "It’s all right, Seven. Just eat what you can," Kathryn said, edging closer and placing her hand on Seven’s thigh. "We’ll have you good as new in no time."

"I find that… unlikely."

"Well, okay, then soon," Kathryn offered.

Seven smiled, she loved the feel of Kathryn’s hand on her skin, even through the fabric of her coveralls, then the young blonde released a huge yawn.

"I think it’s time you went to bed," Kathryn said with more than a hint of authority lacing her words.

"Agreed," Seven said as she fought off another yawn, looking expectantly toward the captain’s bedroom and the double bed beneath the large window revealing the passing streaks of stars.

Janeway stood. "I’ll replicate something for you to sleep in. I’m sure nothing of mine will fit you." Though Kathryn liked the image that sprang into her mind, Seven’s breasts straining the seams on a short nightie made shorter by the blonde’s impressive height. Kathryn smiled as she approached the replicator.

"Kathryn," Seven said expectantly. "Why can I not wear what I wore the …last time I…slept over?"

Kathryn turned to her companion. "What did you wear?"

Seven looked directly into Kathryn’s eyes as casually as if she were describing the latest spatial anomaly. "Nothing."

Kathryn choked on her coffee. The image that the comment brought to mind was quite distracting. "I don’t think that would be appropriate."

"Very well," Seven said grumpily. She had hoped to at least experience the sensation of Kathryn’s naked body pressed against her throughout the night.

 
Kathryn managed to tuck in Seven of Nine, and with considerable effort, managed to keep the young drone on her own side of the bed that seemed to be shrinking as time passed. She was holding her own up until the point when she heard her beloved Annika whimpering in the near darkness. Janeway called for one-eighth lights and the room came into soft focus, Seven’s expression was troubled, but Kathryn wasn’t sure if she should wake her. If Seven’s dreams got bad enough, she would wake on her, but the young Borg was still new to dreaming. Kathryn’s heart took control of the moment and she reached over and gently caressed the delicate shoulder closest to her. Seven’s murmur changed pitch and the exBorg shifted toward the comforting hand. Kathryn guided the still sleeping Annika onto her shoulder and cradled her. She repressed a startled gasp when she felt Seven’s exposed ribs, the young blonde’s sufferings were abundantly evident, each protruding rib a stark reminder. Kathryn’s body seemed to be enough to pull Seven out of the dark dream she had been having, so Kathryn relaxed into the softness of her warm body. The older woman squeezed her eyes shut as she felt warm tears heat her cheeks, leaving chilled marks once the warm liquid cooled and continued down her face. She cradled the woman beside her, wishing she could absorb the pain Seven as going through. Kathryn’s inability to be honest with her feelings had deeply wounded the woman she loved most in the vast universe. Kathryn promised herself that she would make it up to her.
 

Kathryn awoke with a pleasant feeling that had been absent from her life for far too long. There was a glorious, lanky, long leg draped across the good Captain’s pelvis. That leg was attached to a very warm body that was snuggled against the sleepy Captain of the Starship Voyager. She ran her hand down and rested her fingers on Seven’s knee, the former Borg’s nightgown had ridden up during the night, and Kathryn smiled lazily as her hand edged high up the beautiful blonde’s thigh. She stopped at the tender flesh just above that thigh, she wasn’t about to take advantage of her beloved exdrone, but a few seconds later Seven’s hand causally covered Kathryn’s and lightly gripped the captain’s fingers, then the young Borg began inching Kathryn’s hand further up her leg. Kathryn stopped her hand’s movement as she smiled.

"Good morning, Seven."

Seven snuggled into Kathryn’s shoulder. "Good morning, Kathryn… was that *your* hand I was moving?" the blonde asked. Kathryn could hear the smile on her beloved’s lips.

"You couldn’t tell?" Kathryn asked through her own smile, wrapping her other arm around the relaxed Borg and pulling her even closer.

"Oh, I could tell… I just thought…" Seven let the sentence hang.

"Thought what?" Kathryn asked, although she had a pretty good idea what her sweet Borg was going to say.

"I thought… you might enjoy where I was guiding your hand."

Kathryn laughed and squeezed Seven tightly. "Oh… I know I would have enjoyed that particular journey and destination, but we’re taking it slow, okay?"

"I will comply," Seven said grumpily, but the sound of the smile was still there.

"Hey," the captain said as she poked her beautiful bedmate in the ribs, "at least you’ve got memories of…us…to hold you over."

"Actually, I believe that makes my situation more difficult…You do not know what you are missing," the Borg stated flatly.

Janeway felt her cheeks warm as she blushed wildly, although she also felt rather smug. "I think we should get up now."

"Agreed, although I am aware that you are changing the subject," Seven said.

Kathryn eased away from the magnificent body she wanted to slide down and ravage.

"Somehow, I knew you would be," Kathryn said as she managed to climb out of the sheets and then looked back at the image of the glorious Annika Hansen lounging in her bed. It was a sight that tempted her to climb right back in… all the way in.

"Are you curious, Kathryn?" Seven asked as she tossed back the blankets revealing exactly how high the nightgown had ridden up in the night. Kathryn averted her eyes, but not before catching a brief glimpse of the platinum blonde triangle of soft curls between the long, shapely legs.

Kathryn busied herself with gathering her uniform from the top of the dresser where she had left it neatly folded the night before. She smiled when she saw her four pips already in place on the collar, touching them as she felt her chest tighten, knowing that Seven must have seen the golden rank insignias and attached them. It was… domestic. Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct to unimatrix 01, was domestic.

"Are you avoiding my question?" Seven asked as she stood and approached the captain from behind.

"What?" Janeway asked. She was drifting off into a fantasy picturing Seven cooking stacks of pancakes and ironing the captain’s dress uniform, except it didn’t actually require ironing, but it was a fantasy after all. The image strangely excited the Starfleet officer.

"I asked if you were curious."

Kathryn turned and looked at Seven. "About?…" Suddenly she understood. In truth she was more than curious, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the details. "Oh… Yes, but, I think I’d rather wait and discover things for myself."

"I see," Seven said. In truth, she had hoped to entice Kathryn with the details of their lovemaking in the previous timeline.

Kathryn put her hand on Seven’s shoulder. "You sound disappointed."

Seven tilted her head to the side and examined Kathryn’s elegant features. "I expected you to want…details, considering your insistence that I tell you what happened in those other realities."

"Well, this is a little different. I want my first time with you to be just as mysterious this time as it was last time," Kathryn said, slowly running her hand down Seven’s arm.

"Very well…" Seven said. She would comply. Actually she was glad to not have to reveal one detail from that night of passion. She hoped that bit of their interaction would not repeat again.

 
After Kathryn and Seven had each finished their separate showers, they went to Cargo Bay Two. Kathryn sat and read the logs from the overnight shifts and then worked on personnel reviews as she sat patiently next to Seven. During six hours of regeneration, Kathryn only had to end the cycle once, but that was once too often for both women. Seven clung to her captain and sobbed for ten minutes before she finally calmed down enough to complete her cycle. As soon as Seven had restarted her regeneration, Kathryn allowed herself to weep. Seeing Seven in pain was almost more than the Starfleet officer could take, Kathryn sat on the decking and wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her face on her legs, letting the tears fall. She was glad that she had made the cargo bay off limits for the day, she wasn’t used to letting her feelings out and it wasn’t something she wanted to share with anyone.

When the overly thin blonde finished regenerating for the day, Kathryn left Seven in the cargo bay and returned to the bridge. Seven used the time to work on her new quarters. She had already sectioned off a decent sized area and had her bed and a desk sitting off to one edge, then studied the space with her Borg enhanced eyepiece trying to determine the best way to make her quarters more… Human. She wanted Kathryn to feel comfortable visiting her there, and after having spent several hours getting furniture from the ship's stores, Seven eyed her newly arranged living space and decided she was tired of being there alone. She sat on her new couch and stared at her very bare walls, the stark metal emergency habitat walls were not much better than the cargo bay walls. Seven found aesthetics generally irrelevant, but she knew Kathryn did not. She was pulled from her interior-decorating dilemma when her com badge chirped.

*"Janeway to Seven of Nine…"*

"Yes, Captain," Seven said as she stood. Part of the young blonde hoped there was some crisis that required her on the bridge. She was bored and wanted to see Kathryn.

*"Seven…"* Kathryn said, sounding… nervous. *"I was wondering if you’d like to join me for a late lunch."*

Seven smiled, letting it cover her whole face since she was alone. "I would… enjoy that, Captain."

*"Great,"* Kathryn said. Seven could hear the smile on Kathryn’s face. Not many people on board could hear the distinction, but Annika Hansen could. *"I’ll meet you in the mess hall in half an hour,"* Janeway said.

"The mess hall?" Seven’s surprise was evident to Kathryn on the other end of the com.

*"Yes… Is that a problem?"* the captain asked.

"No… May I speak freely?" Seven inquired.

*"I’m in my ready room. Go ahead."* Janeway settled back into her chair.

"Kathryn, I am… surprised that you would choose to… take me on… a date to such a public place. Am I misinterpreting your request?"

Kathryn smiled. *"You’re not misreading me. I am indeed asking you out on date. Why wouldn’t I take you out in public?"*

"Well, the crew…" Seven said slowly.

*"The crew will have to get used to seeing us together,"* Kathryn said firmly. She could tell the young Borg needed reassurance. *"We don’t have anything to hide, Annika. I am the captain, but, you’re not in Starfleet."*

"I see," Seven said. She had thought the captain would be more reluctant to ‘date’ in public. Suddenly the young Borg couldn’t wait to have ‘lunch,’ even if it was just part of an emergency ration bar. "I will see you in one half hour."

*"I’m looking forward to it, Annika. Janeway out."* The com line went dead and the captain crossed her arms, letting a huge grin cover her face. She had a date, a date with the most gorgeous woman on the ship, probably the most intelligent one, too. Kathryn rested her head against the back of her chair and sighed, unable to wipe the silly grin off her face. She closed her eyes and pictured Seven and the grin took on a much more predatory quality. She decided she should leave a little early for lunch.
 

CHAPTER EIGHT

The captain went directly to the mess hall and after a quick conservation with Nelix ducked back out to get some supplies.

 
Seven of Nine arrived at the mess hall two point five minutes early and scanned the room, quickly spotting Kathryn standing next to a table in the very back of the room. There were only a few other small groups of people having lunch at the moment and Seven went directly to her date.

Kathryn smiled warmly at the stately blonde. "Miss Hansen, your table is ready."

Seven raised an eyebrow almost her hairline. "Thank you… Miss Janeway," Seven said mimicking her companion. She was unaware of the custom of altering one’s designation, but she would gladly follow the captain's lead, she would gladly follow the captain anywhere.

Kathryn covered her mouth, but not before a deep, warm laugh escaped. "I haven’t been called that in… Well, I can’t remember the last time."

Seven sat, studying the strange items on the table. "Have I used the designation incorrectly?"

"No, you’re perfect. I was having some fun with you. I’m glad you’re joining in."

Seven didn’t quite understand but was glad she had managed to react correctly. "These table arrangements are different."

"I wanted to make lunch fun for us. Just because we’re eating in the mess hall doesn’t mean it can’t be special." Kathryn guided her young companion to her chair and then sat across from her, she looked over and saw a radiant smile on Seven’s lips and she realized she had never seen the former Borg smile that brightly in public.

"Every time I am with you is special, but I am pleased you wanted to make this… fun," Seven said, continuing to study the tableware. There was a silk tablecloth, fine white plates the color of bone, the utensils appeared to be made of silver, and the glasses were actually made of glass.

Kathryn allowed her own radiant smile, suddenly very glad that she had left early to make the few arrangements. "You’re right, it’s always special with you," Kathryn said, wishing she had thought to say that first. "Annika, you are really very sweet."

Seven blushed. It was adorable. "Thank you."

"Are you hungry?" Kathryn asked.

"I have not ingested my nutrition today," Seven said. "Kathryn," Seven asked, suddenly mesmerized by the glassware. "These glasses are actually made of… glass. Is that how they got their original designation?"

"I think so…" Kathryn smiled and nodded. She loved the way everything was a new, precious discovery for her beloved Annika, and she loved how she could re-experience the wonders through Seven’s eyes. "But they’re called crystal."

Seven looked up abruptly at Kathryn, the Borg's analytical expression returning. "Curious. These beverage containers made of glass are called crystal… and containers made of polymer are called glasses."

"Annika," Kathryn said as she reached over and took Seven’s hand. "You are a treasure."

Seven raised her eyebrow. "Are you teasing me?"

"No," Kathryn said. "I am completely serious. I love the way you look at things. You make me remember to enjoy the things around me."

Seven leaned back, but didn’t let go of Kathryn’s hand. Instead she brought it over in front of her and gently stroked it. "I enjoy you."

Kathryn hand held Seven’s for several moments and then she suddenly remembered where they were. She eased her hand back and cleared her throat, which was suddenly thick. "The feeling is mutual," Kathryn said and turned to signal Nelix.

The Talaxian brought over a covered tray and stopped beside the table. "Ladies, I have your lunch." He lifted the cover off the tray and grandly presented their meal.

Seven’s eyed widened and her lips curled on the edges. There were two small plates, each had one emergency ration bar surrounded by various pieces of colorful, decorative vegetation. The Talaxian set them down with great formality onto the slightly larger plates already on the table.

Nelix smiled and nodded at the captain. "Bon appetit." Then the normally talkative cook disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Thank you," Janeway said to his retreating back.

"Thank you," Seven said following Kathryn’s lead, then turned back to the captain. "You hate these," she stated.

"I just don’t prefer them," the captain said delicately. "The Doctor wants you to eat this… so this is what we’ll eat."

Seven eyed her meal and then stared at her companion. "I appreciate the… romantic gesture. However, I do not expect you to do this at every meal."

"Good," Kathryn said with a laugh. She reached over beside the table and pulled a dark green bottle from an odd metal stand and poured golden sparkling liquid into the two crystal glasses on the table.

Seven tilted her head to one side. "Kathryn… is that champagne? I did not think you would indulge in an alcoholic beverage while on duty."

Kathryn slid the bottle back into the ice filled stand and turned back to Seven. "You’re absolutely correct. I would never drink alcohol on duty. This is sparkling cider. It’s festive, without the alcohol… besides, I seem to remember that you don’t have a very high tolerance for alcohol." A tiny smirk appeared on Kathryn’s lips as she remembered the site of Seven, tipsy after half a glass of champagne, patting the Doctor’s chest telling him amiably, "We are as one."

Seven nodded solemnly. "Yes, I found that alcohol had a pronounced negative effect on my balance and coordination."

"This won’t," Kathryn said as she picked up her glass. "To new beginnings…"

Seven picked up her glass as she had seen crewmembers do the day of the ill-fated slipstream test. She knew this was called a toast. She didn’t point out to her companion that, by definition, every beginning was new. "To new beginnings," Seven said. The former drone tasted the beverage and found it a huge improvement over champagne and allowed a tiny smile, taking another larger swallow.

"Do you like it?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes, very much. It is much more pleasant than alcohol. It does not taste bitter. Why do Humans not celebrate with this beverage instead?"

"Tradition… personal preference… many reasons," Kathryn said, making a mental note to pick up several bottles of the cider to have on hand in her quarters for the beautiful Borg.

Seven gingerly placed her glass down and looked around the room. The other crewmembers would occasionally glance over at the captain and her date but the only reaction appeared to be amused acceptance, as if they were happy to see their captain with someone.

"Kathryn," Seven whispered. "I am surprised by the crew’s reaction."

"How so?"

"They seem… pleased to see us here… together."

Kathryn scanned the room, several crewmembers made eye contact and smiled, so the captain nodded back to them and then looked back at her companion. "I think you’re right." Kathryn realized that her crew probably wanted their Captain to be happy as much as she wanted each of them to be happy. "Voyager’s crew is the best I’ve ever had. I guess being so far from home makes us a little closer, too. They want me to be happy."

Seven leaned forward. "And they believe being with me will help you achieve happiness?"

"Having someone to love always makes you happy," Kathryn said before she realized the impact of her words.

Seven’s eyes lit up and her whole face shifted, suddenly more alive, but her smile was still subdued. "You love me… It is still difficult for me to accept."

"Why?" Kathryn asked, reaching out for Annika unconsciously and stroking the exdrone's hand resting on the table.

Seven stared the auburn haired woman in the eyes. "Because I was Borg… because I am still not…" The exdrone looked down at the table and tried to pull her hand away. Kathryn griped her elegant fingers gently, refusing to release them. Seven looked back up into Kathryn’s sincere features, the captain was waiting patiently for her to continue, but the older woman’s eyes were tinged with sorrow. Seven continued, "I am still not fully human."

Kathryn tilted her head to one side and sighed. "You are fully human, Annika. And as for being Borg at one time… that was not your doing. You had no control over it. You’ve come so far… and done it faster than anyone would have thought possible. You’re a beautiful woman."

The young blonde’s pale features blushed again. Her face was painted a delicate pink for most of their lunch interaction. To anyone watching, she probably looked like she had a mild sunburn.

"Thank you, Kathryn," Seven said, taking her hand back and picking up her lunch, nibbling on her ration bar. She watched through her thick sable lashes as the captain sighed and took a tentative bite of her own bar. Seven smirked at Kathryn’s force expression of tolerance. It was obvious the compact Captain did not enjoy her meal.

"Kathryn…"

"Yes?" Janeway asked after washing down the dry bar with a large gulp of cider.

"I need to ask Nelix something. I will return shortly."

"I’ll be right here," Kathryn said with a smile, realizing she was enjoying herself more than she had in … years, actually. Seven stood and made her way to the kitchen. As soon as the Borg was out of Kathryn’s site, the captain made a disgusted scowl and put the bar back down. Her romantic gesture was going to prove difficult to pull off. The damn bars were disgusting.

Seven returned with a small covered plate, gingerly reaching over Kathryn’s shoulder and taking the plate with the ration bar and setting it on a nearby empty table, then setting the covered plate in its place and sitting down. Kathryn eyed the plate curiously, but waited for her companion to settle into her chair before responding.

"What’s this?"

Seven smiled and removed the cover revealing a tossed Caesar salad with grilled chicken that she had noticed the captain eating every time Nelix prepared it. "I appreciate the sentiment behind your selection of our meal… but I would rather that you enjoy your meal as well. Sharing the menu choice is not necessary for our meal to be romantic… is it?" Seven asked.

Kathryn smiled warmly. "Actually, you going in there to get me something I like is extremely romantic, my darling."

"Good," Seven said. She was thrilled to have mastered this ‘romance.’

Kathryn dug into her salad and Seven nibbled at her ration bar. They continued their lunch, discussing a wide variety of topics and all too soon it was time for Kathryn to return to the bridge.

"I really should be going," Kathryn said. Seven recognized an odd tone in the elegant Captain’s voice.

"Is everything all right, Kathryn? You’re voice sounds…odd."

"What do you mean?"

"It… sounds… not sad, but very similar to when you express sorrow." Seven’s eyebrow was slanting toward her forehead as she searched her companion’s face trying to discover the cause of the bizarre tone.

Kathryn reached across the table and took Seven’s hand, this time fully aware of the crewmembers filtering in and out but no longer self-conscious about their presence. "Annika, you know me so well. I doubt anyone else on board could pick up my tones the way you do. That emotion you’re trying to identify is disappointment. I’m enjoying your company and don’t feel like leaving you just yet."

"I too am experiencing this…disappointment… although I was unsure of its name. As for distingu