SOMETIMES LIFE ISN’T LIKE A NEIL SIMON PLAY

ACT I

LASHUNDA C. JOHNSON
 

GROEN’S STORY-CHAPTER I

I had mixed feelings about the reunion of my ladies. The group was formed in 2360. The Clear Blue Angels Reunion Concert at the M-17 Space Station marked the return of the group after a three-year absence. Though the concert was two hours away, the band rehearsed on stage. During the middle of the rehearsal, the band practiced some of their new original material. Lashunda did "Roodles (In a Dream)", which was about her renew feelings for her band mates. Her penned Terran Country and Western/Klingon Classic Rock song was recorded during her studio acoustic sessions. Sarmoon then sang "JinXanvier". Her written Terran R &B/Latin Soul ballad was about a mysterious cloud that guided dreams. Layla vocalized "Crimson Woman", a tender Hard Rock/Samba dance tune, which was penned by Lashunda and Alidar and was about Jessica and Beverly. The final melody of the rehearsal, that the whole band crooned, was "Bat’leth Chimes". It was a Classic Delta Blues/ Klingon R&B diapason about Worf. Lashunda played the steel guitar in her composition.

I paced back and forth repeatedly near the dressing room. I hadn’t been this nervous since the Enterprise gig three years ago. It was 2366 before Lashunda’s Cocoon Stage. Lashunda waited for our arrival at the Transporter Room 8 as she stood quietly with her hands behind her back. Shun-Luc, who was the lead guitarist, wore a standard blue uniform, black Yeoman fanny pack, clear lip-gloss, and black and blue Starfleet hi-tops. Her black thick shoulder-length curls were pinned back at the sides with matching barrettes. Sarmoon, Layla, Ojasha, and I appear with our possessions.

Sarmoon Zappawitnsy, who was a 5’7 black full Vulcan with a powerful hard rock singing voice, was an exochemistry student at the Vulcan Science Academy. She was both the keyboardist and mostly the lead singer of the rock quartet. She had dark brown skin, brown eyes, swollen lips, lengthy black straight locks, and slender frame. She wore a light green jumper dress, white turtleneck, cherry-colored lip moisturizer, black boots, and a small Vulcan back-pack. Her almost waist-length locks were into a braided ponytail.

Layla Robeaway, who was a black 5’9 Terran mulatto with mezzo-soprano vocals, was a MIT student. She was the bassist as well as violinist. She had long wavy black tresses, olive skin, gray eyes, puffy lips, and a rather full shape. She wore deep purple short-sleeved jumpsuit, black long-sleeved tunic, dark pink lip-gloss, a dark purple fanny pack, dark purple hiker boots, a silver thin bracelet. Her mane had twisted braids in front while the rest hang down.

Ojasha Miller, who was a 5’8 Australian-born Irish-American mulatto, was a Starfleet cadet like Lashunda. She was the drummer. She had medium-length copper thick curls, slightly full lips, purple eyes, light brown skin, a very thin figure, and a raspy yet chillingly crooning voice. She wore a gold uniform, white lip-gloss, an Ensign pip. Her now straighten mane was into a bouncy yet rather wild lengthy space flip.

I watched the band mates greet each other as I wore light gray long-sleeved shirt, black jeans, black ankle boots, black square shades, a black and gray Deep Purple vest, and a gray and black fanny pack. My stomach became somewhat unsettled as old memories entered my mind. I stepped off the Transporter when Capt. Picard and Counselor Troi arrived. From the instant look of the Captain, my nausea became worse. I tried my best not to hurl my meal as I talked to the older Enterprise officers.

Shortly afterwards, the young band rehearsed at the theater room. After the end of the rehearsal, the band left and talked briefly before they parted ways. Later that evening, the Clear Blue Angels made their Enterprise debut. First they came on stage with their instruments and sheet music. They decked out in massive colorful Kiss-like make-up; wild enormous hair that was either teased, tousled, super wind-blew in wild fashion, or hair-sprayed very greatly; neon multi-colored Beatles-like suits; and black space boots. The audience was somewhat surprised and didn’t know what to make of the band. Soon they tuned before they whispered transiently.

"Guys, I think that we must stay calm," spoke Sarmoon inaudibly.

"Right," the rest answered together softly.

"Are you ready?" asked Captain Picard. They nodded.

They began with Carly Simon’s "You’re So Vain" with Sarmoon on lead vocals as Layla and Ojasha did back vocals. Lashunda held her head down as she played the guitar. Next, Layla crooned "Rock a La Soup, which was penned by Ojasha and Sarmoon. It was a moderate ballad about a strange nameless alien dish that the ladies tried when they were at Prius 7, a planetary star base. The song reverberated like an ascetic Grateful Dead.

The third song was "D. H.’s cologne", which was sung by Ojasha and written by Lashunda. It was a hard rock song about Dixie Hill. The tune blared like sugarcoated Smashing Pumpkins and debuted Lashunda’s original guitar riff style. After the song ended, Sarmoon and Lashunda switched positions. The band sang "Moon Over the City" together. Layla’s composed sweet melody was about Trenton, the bassist’s hometown.

The fifth song was "Sunny day, Yesterday". Lashunda sang it while she played on the keyboards. Layla sang "Star Chimes", Lashunda’s chilly yet bittersweet ballad about space love. Ojasha vocalized Black Crows’ "Thorn in My Pride". Sarmoon intoned U2’s "One". Lashunda sang Natalie Imbruglia’s "Torn". The final song was Dixie Chicks’ "You Were Mine", which the group sang together as Layla played the violin. When they finished their song, they bow in unison. To their surprise, the audience gave them a standing ovation. Soon my mind returned to the present as I talked to my boss on my wrist communicator.

RIKER’S STORY-CHAPTER II

The Reunion concert started and ended with great success as some of us, including Picard, watched it live. For Picard, he saw privately in his quarters as well as took several still pictures of the performance. When Lt. Spencer came back from the concert, Picard greeted calmly at the Transporter Room. A week later, she rejoined the band for a tour. Shortly afterwards, the band complete their mini-tour and returned to their own paths.

Two months had now passed since the Clear Blue Angels Reunion Mini-Tour. Lashunda and I ate together at a booth near the door at Ten-Forward. Roberta Flack’s "Killing Me Softly" played in the background from the jukebox as Guinan served drinks in the almost empty room. It was the second time ever that we dined together. As Lashunda took a spoonful of tomato soup, I quietly smiled. I respected Yeoman Spencer for many reasons. Our casual relationship developed slowly since it took a long while for Lashunda to like me a little. Actually I was one of the causes of the downfall of Lashunda’s romance with Wesley. I was part of the blame and still felt guilty of the tragic commitment. Many times I tried to fix it with a reunion of the former sweat hearts, yet the attempts always backfired greatly. As Shun-Luc continued to eat, she occasionally scrutinized at me. She wore a standard blue uniform, black Starfleet fanny pack, five-inched platform Starfleet uniform, clear lip-gloss, and a ponytail. Since her return from the T' Pagh, she had matured greatly. Even though her attire was now more conventional, she was still quaint. Yesterday, she glided by me on black roller blades and wore a black helmet and protective black body pads as she gave the ships’ dogs their daily stroll. We exchanged waves before she turned a corner.

An hour later, we left the Ten-Forward and rode the Turbo-lift with Geordi. Lt. Spencer was still quiet but smiled briefly when she saw Geordi. Lashunda was closer with the young Enterprise engineer although he was one of Wesley’s mentors. Lashunda was hardly around at the Engineering Room in Wesley’s presence after their break-up. Furthermore, she behaved differently on the Bridge when Wesley was there. Mostly, she acted like an icily aristocratic combatant and rarely spoke. Many, including Worf, Geordi, and Troi became considered for her after they noticed some of her depression’s symptoms. Slowly she became isolated and began to spend more time alone in her quarters.

NARRATOR’S STORY

After she finished her shift at the Stellar Cartography Department, she left. As she walked toward her quarters, she sang Sheryl Crow’s "My Favorite Mistake". When the song ended, she hung around her quarters and sang Counting Crows’ "Hanging Around". A brief time passed when Lashunda left her quarters for a walk in the ship’s tunnels. As she started her walk, she thought about Q. For many years, he enticed her though secretly he was exceptionally afraid of her. Shun-Luc thought that he always kept the crewmembers, especially Picard, on their toes. Yet, Lt. Spencer was one of the few that he never bothered.

Last month, she met Q again. She entered on the Bridge as he sang Queen’s "Don’t Stop Me Now" to the Bridge crew. Q wore a red Starfleet admiral uniform while Lashunda wore a standard blue uniform, black fanny pack, clear lip gloss, a braided ponytail, and black Starfleet eight inched-platform boots. Lashunda proceed to work on the ship computer after Q finished his song. Thereafter, she handed Picard some documents that were on a clipboard to sign. As Picard read them silently, Lashunda stood next to Q. Her eyes looked up and down at the alien god. He towered over the young officer.

"Hello Q. I see that you are well." He turned to look at her. His brown eyes met hers. She smiled slightly at him yet Q had a still expression on his face. Promptly, the entire Starfleet Bridge went into extinct silence. "Why the Bridge is so tranquil? You gave them one of your best musical performances. The Queen number was terrific and had good octave range." They looked around briefly before they returned their attention on each other.

"Yes, I know. I was splendid. Maybe our conversation is the source of the large silence on the Bridge. Oh by the way, I’m fine. Thanks for noticing. How are you?"

"I’m okay, I guess."

"Well you do look suitable since your face cleared up."

"Thanks. Well, at least, somebody penetrate one of my new inherent physical alternations."

"Lt. Spencer, quit sucking up to Q!" Captain Picard shouted.

"What’s your problem?" Lashunda thought as she looked at the older officer up and down.

CHAPTER III

Lashunda’s thoughts quickly changed to the present as she continued with her walk. She was now thinking about her mom, Sara. Belle moved to the Enterprise two weeks prior the Clear Blue Angels Reunion Concert. Heretofore she stayed two doors down from Lashunda. Correspondingly, Sara shed some weight since Lashunda’s treason trial. Though the former Starfleet officer’s stay strengthened her relationship with her daughter, it further complicated her ligature with her former lover, Jean-Luc. Every time she came near him, he acted more anxious than when he was around Mrs. Troi. Mostly, Sara wished that she fixed the damage yet she knew in her heart that no power in the entire universe was able to repair it.

Meanwhile, Sara sat in her quarters as she looked at the stars. She wore a long-sleeved light orange Memphis Surfers tee shirt, black jeans, black hiker boots, silvery orange lip-gloss, and a multi-pocketed Vulcan orange and black vest. Her black feathery Vulcan bop came five inches past her shoulders while her plushy bangs came an inch past her eyes. She sang Holly Cole Trio’s "Neon Blue". After the song, she looked at the time and realized that she had to prepare dinner.

Two hours later in an alternate universe, Jean-Luc kissed Belle passionately in their quarters on the light-colored couch. He wore a standard red uniform and a gold band. His pale fingers brushed away Sara’s lengthy bangs from her face before he kissed her again. Olivia Newton-John’s "I Honestly Love You" played instrumentally in the background from the quarters’ computer. Sara was still able to taste honey-baked chicken and stewed vegetables as well as Earl Grey tea on her husband’s lips. Her full V-shaped lips moved to his smooth head and placed a sweet yet seductive buss.

Shortly afterwards, there was a pause as they gazed into each other’s eyes. To Serene, Jean-Luc’s eyes were unbelievably blue. As she continued to stare into his eyes, she rested her palms on his face. Despite the many years, his appearance persisted to intrigue her. She never met anyone like JL though she had her share of an unusual variety of species. Serene outlined his lips with her first index finger as her eyes became set on his faded new facial growth. He parted his thin lips slightly and put his hands on her hips.

"I cherished you, my palatable. He said "palatable" in French. Then he began to whisper seductively in her ear between nibbles on her procreative fleshy lobe. Belle giggled as "True Love" by Elton John and Kiki Dee came on the computer.

While on the T’Pagh, Cmdr. LaShun walked down the corrider. Several months ago, she returned her former Klingon ship. She later learned the former Klingon prototype was rebuilt. It was now twice than its earlier size. She wore a Klingon black short-sleeved uniform, a black Klingon bomber, 10-inched Klingon hiker boots, a black Klingon fanny pack, and green lip-gloss. Her lengthy curls were parted in the middle. She sang Queen’s "Now I’m Here" in Klingonese.

ALTERNATE WORF’S STORY

Three years had passed as we prepared for the Crusher-Spencer wedding on the Georgia, Captain Monsoon’s new ship. She custom-made it for her crewmembers, who were mostly seven feet tall or up. It was like a giant’s dream. The Georgia was large enough to fit the first two Enterprises in its smallest cargo bay. Later, to my shock, I discovered that the ship had three universities, five high schools, five day-cares, five elementary schools, and more learning institutions on the way. The corridors were colossal as highways. As I stood near steps of the Orange and White Chapel of Love, Bowie joined me. Bowie Devo Ironhawke Spencer was Lashunda’s uncle with a rather thin 6’4 frame, brown skin, big brown eyes, and a mixed resemblance of Rock Hudson and Krom. His straight hair, which came almost down his back, was shaved at the sides. He wore his mane in a ponytail with braids while the rest of his locks hung down. I wore a Starfleet red dress uniform and a ponytail while he wore a basic black tux, a colorful Chickasaw lapel pin, black wingtips, black dress socks, and a Memphis State University class ring.

He greeted me with a warm smile and a handshake. It was our fifth encounter. He was a quiet but timid man who I found very charming. He was the youngest son of Chamberlain and Luita though he was two years older than Ethel and Sara. He was a hairdresser. Before Lashunda graduated from the Starfleet Academy, he gave her a voice-command hairstylist helmet for her twelfth birthday. The helmet was designed to make over 30 hundred hairdos. She used it for hair experiments, which amused some of us crewmembers yet Captain Picard didn’t like her different hairstyles.

As we continued to stand together, Bowie remarked that Wesley and Lashunda had a special magic together. Then he commenced to sing Queen’s "A Kind of Magic". I later joined him on back vocals. We had a nice harmony. When more people came, we entered the chapel.

CHAPTER 1V-NARRATOR’S STORY

In the regular universe, a few months passed when the Sutant Zombies became gods. Charlie Ray felt worn out as he sat in his new office. The Sutant leader wore a long-sleeved black and green Wally the Gator tee shirt, black pants, black and green Keds, and a ponytail. He looked at the clock and realized that it was lunchtime. Briefly ensuing, Tommy arrived with his lunch in a green cloth lunch sack as he wore a red tank top, black shorts, black Nikes, and a backpack. He just came from the gym during an hour workout and recently changed into his underclothes yet didn’t have to put on the rest of his clothes.

"How it going, CR?" He closed the door before he put his lunch on a nearby coffee table and rest of his belongings on the floor. He took off his backpack and rested on Charlie Ray’s couch. Soon he put on a black and red Nike sweats.

"Okay, I think but I have my doubts."

"That’s understandable. It have been pretty hectic lately during these wild events." Tommy and Charlie Ray sang "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie. Tommy sang Freddie’s part while Gator did David’s part.

"Well, we are immortal now and I don’t know how long that it will last." Tommy spoke after the song. He placed his hands in pockets and looked out of the window. He started to sing Queen’s "Who Wants to Live Forever". The co-workers, except Tommy, became back vocals on the descant.

"We can’t worry about that now because there are other matters."

"You’re right." Tommy crooned Queen’s "Friends Will Be Friends" as he wrapped his arm around his classic friend. When the song finished, the two young gods chuckled.

"Uh, Tommy, why are singing Queen songs?"

"I don’t know. Maybe it seems appropriate." Suddenly the couple felt a godly presence.

"Well, any way. You two have nice singing voices," said someone. The two Sutants turned around and realized that it was Ares, God of War. He was standing in the doorway. He freshly popped up near the end of the last song. His lengthy locks hung down his muscular shoulders as he wore his traditional black leather ensemble. "Nice office," he spoke as he looked around.

"Thanks." Charlie Ray looked at the seasoned god calmly as the auburn-haired mutant came slightly closer. It was the second encounter that Charlie Ray had with Ares. However, it was Tommy’s first. The Greek God smiled at the newcomers as he thought about Lashunda, the Sutant demi-god. He knew that she was the full Sutant gods’ link to the mortals. Though he never met her, he saw her but kept his distance. He thought that she was extremely cute and had salacious lips as well as an incredible backside. Besides, he thought that the men were blinded to consider her unpretentious. "What brings you here?" Charlie Ray interrupted.

Two hours later, Ares was gone. Charlie Ray contacted Lashunda and told her about Ares’ upcoming visit while she was still on the Bridge. Lashunda wore a standard blue uniform, a black fanny pack, bumble-gum lip-gloss, and ten-inched platform boots. The sides of her waist-length straight locks were pinned back in a French roll when the rest hung down. Shortly afterwards, Ares appeared but Lashunda was the only person who was able to see though Counselor Troi sensed him. As the older officer told the Bridge officers about the presence, Lashunda whispered to Ares during their conversation while she continued to work at her post. When her shift ended, he followed her.

"Don’t worry, Lashunda. Your mortal friends can see now." He remarked as they rode the Turbo-lift and stood next to each other. Lashunda inadvertently brushed against him and excused herself when more crewmembers stepped on the Turbo-lift. Surprisingly, he didn’t mind. Then Ares and Lashunda left the Turbo-lift and went to Ten-Forward.

"Hi, Reg," she spoke when Barclay walked past her.

"Hi Lashunda," he answered before he went to his table.

"Hi Guinan," Lashunda remarked when she went to the bar.

"Hello Lashunda. Hello Ares." She smiled.

"Hello Guinan, it has been a while." Lashunda wasn’t amused since Lt. Spencer knew that Guinan knew many gods.

Meanwhile Data walked toward the Ten-Forward as he sang Garth Brooks’ "Friends in Low Places". Many crewmembers gave him strange looks as they passed by. Since Data installed the emotion chip, Lashunda kept her distance and rarely spoke to him. When Data arrived and greeted Guinan, Lashunda took a sip from her grapefruit drink and dropped her eyes. There was a pause of silence before Data left to join Geordi, Riker, and Picard at a nearby booth.

BARCLAY’S STORY

It had been two days since the Greek god’s departure. Though his visit was rather bland, it was a change from Q’s wild tarriances. Secondly, there was some sexually tension between Lashunda and Ares. The former T’Pagh commander wasn’t regaled when the Greek God of War praised Abba for her sometimes exposed dark side. Her defiled side was exceptionally terrifying to many witnesses, including myself. Once in 2368 she smashed a thick table with a blow from her open palm because the Captain snubbed her when she saved both the ship from embarrassment and Admiral McCoy from an Romulan assassin. Thereupon she cursed something in Klingonese and spat on the destroyed table.

This evening, Lashunda came to my quarters for a visit. We both were still in our uniforms. It was the thirtieth time that she went to my quarters. I actually liked her stopovers since they helped ease my loneliness as well as nervousness. She was also one of few people that I felt comfortable with. It was still hard to believe that it was four years ago when I met her. In the same year, I had my first mission with her. The mission was pleasant as well as challenging. So far, we had about fifteen missions together and I enjoyed each of them.

We did the Foxtrot, as we listened to the Cranberries’ "Linger". She smiled after I slightly dipped her. If she didn’t have a boyfriend now, she possibly had me for a present steady. Yet, I still had hope since it was a distance relationship with her alien sweetheart. The song ended before Eric Clapton’s "Bellbottoms Blues" came on.

The next day, Lashunda smiled and said "Hello" to me as she gave the dogs their daily walk. She wore a long-sleeved purple Chris Gaines tee shirt, black pants, black and purple Nikes, a ponytail, clear lip-gloss, and a black fanny pack. She and the dogs nearly ran over Riker when he stepped out of the Turbo-lift. She apologized as she continued to walk with the dogs. I waved as they turned a corner.

THE END

SPECIAL THANKS TO THE PEOPLE WHO HELP ME BEFORE

SPECIAL COURTESY TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE LISTED ABOVE


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