SOMETIMES LIFE ISN’T LIKE A NEIL SIMON PLAY

ACT II

LASHUNDA C. JOHNSON
 

CHAPTER I-LASHUNDA’S STORY

It was 2364 as I traveled on a shuttlecraft in space. I was going to Earth Prime for the Starfleet Admiral Ball. It began two weeks ago when I was required to stay briefly at the Starfleet Academy to complete numerous major exams. On the three day of my four-day examination interval, I bumped into Adm. Stamos at the main hall of the James T. Kirk Tactical Systems Building after I finished a test. Admiral Parker Stamos was a 6’0 silver blond half American/half Greek-American with a rather vigorous frame, a light tan complexion, blue eyes, and bore an imposing resemblance to George Peppard. He, who was the former Captain of USS Hemingway, became an admiral a year after my birth. He nearly knocked me to the floor but my Padd flew out of my hand as I tried to put it in my black Starfleet backpack when we crashed.

"Pardon me," he remarked as he helped me. "I didn’t see you." He handed me my Padd when I put my black rectangular-shaped shades back on the top of my head. I wore a curly shoulder-length pageboy hairstyle, standard blue Ensign uniform, black five-inched Starfleet sneakers, clear lip moisturizer, and a black Starfleet Yeoman fanny pack. He wore a short-sleeved red Admiral uniform, black UFP fanny pack, a red UFP bomber, a rather long crewcut, and a red and black Starfleet Academy baseball cap.

"Thanks," I looked up at him. He smiled so I returned it with a metal one.

"Wait a moment. Are you Captain Picard’s Yeoman?"

"Yes, I’m Ensign Spencer of the USS Enterprise." I shook his hand.

"I’m Admiral Parker Stamos," we continued to shake hands. Then we started to have a small conversation that lasted a few moments. "Well, I have to go now. Here are some tickets to the Admiral’s Ball." He took two tickets from his fanny pack and gave to me.

"Thanks."

"You’re welcome. I’ll see you later." We parted ways with smiles.

After I returned to the Enterprise, I told Tasha about my Academy visit and the tickets when I stopped by her quarters. She was happy for me but declined my offer to accompany me at the ball. I left for my quarters several moments thereafter. Soon my mind returned to the present. However, I still wondered why nobody went with me.

Finally I arrived at the Starfleet Headquarters. I went into the main building and wore a dress blue uniform, clear lip-gloss, black five-inched platform Starfleet boots, and a small black Starfleet wrist pack. When I stepped at the door of the Reception Room, I gave my ticket to the Robot Ticket Booth. It stamped my ticket and let me in. I walked slowly into the rather shattered crowd in the large room while The Beacon Mantras, a local band, played the Bangles’ "Eternal Flame". Most modeled dress uniforms while others wore civilian-style formal. As I continued to mingle, I recognized several Starfleet officers and bit my bottom lip.

"Ensign Spencer," remarked a familiar voice behind me so I quickly turned around. It was Adm. Stamos. He wore a red Admiral dress uniform. "I’m glad that you could make it," He shook my hand.

"Thanks. However, by the looks of it, I came alone." I spoke candidly, as I felt awkward among distinguished partygoers. "I couldn’t find anyone to accompany on this occasion." My eyes dropped briefly as I waited for the Admiral’s words. Surprisingly, I looked at his face with sheer coolness.

"Well, I’m sorry. At least, you show, and that’s good. Besides, it have been a while since some new blood have been at this ball." He winked and grinned. Then Admiral Jordan Cavalier joined us with a champagne glass of grape juice in his hand. He wore a gold dress uniform and a braided ponytail. The Venice Beach native was a 6’2 moderately boyish Terran with dark blue eyes, smooth honey brown skin, a mixed shoulder-length locks of walnut brown and dark blonde, and a dazzling resemblance to Parker Stevenson. I simply met him twice while I was still a Starfleet Academy sophomore. As the night went, I had a great time as well as came upon more interesting people. The next morning, I returned to the Enterprise but wasn’t noticed until late in my second shift.

CHAPTER II-NARRATOR’S STORY

Several months afterwards, Lashunda learned Tasha’s death when she recurred from a Starfleet convention. She piloted the ship while many of her Bridge Senior Officers continued to mourn. As her first shift ended, the senior officers unintentionally sang Sarah McLachlan’s "I Will Remember You" at the same time while in different places. She debarked at Tasha Yar’s Memorial Site when the song ended. Yar’s holographic image appeared and beamed at Lashunda. At that moment, Lashunda sang Elton John’s "Your Song" while the music played in her head. After the song finished, the hologram thanked her and vanished. Lashunda dropped her head and stayed there for a moment before she left.

As time passed, Lashunda went on with her life. On her thirteenth birthday, Duncan MacLeod visited her. He wore a purple, long-sleeved buttoned-up shirt; black khakis; black loafers; and a black backpack. His short black locks were slightly feathery while his face was neatly shaved. He gave the young Starfleet officer a peck near her lips and a warm hug. The teen Yeoman beamed and ran her fingers through her wild curls with one hand as her V-shaped full lips parted and disclosed her dental braces. She wore peach and white Care Bears sweats, matching Nikes, clear lip moisturizer, black shoulder-length intrinsic ringlets, and several twisted braids.

Before her second shift commenced, he left to visit Methos. Lashunda changed into her blue uniform, black five-inched Starfleet boots, black Yeoman fanny pack, and a ponytail and went on duty. She returned to her quarters when she completed her shift. Ensign Spencer worked busily on her computer as she sipped her Earl Grey tea. It was now almost bedtime and nobody hadn’t wished her a joyful birthday. Somehow she knew in her heart that they didn’t care. She looked at the blank computer for a while after she concluded her reports and turned off. Shun-Luc removed her acoustic guitar from its stand and began to play the Beatles’ "You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away". The alien secretly dedicated it to Duncan. The two had been friends since their first very encounter when Abba was five.

Suddenly, her message machine beeped. It was Krom, Sara, Bowie, Summer, and Ethel. They greeted her and sang the Beatles’ "Birthday" as they played the music. Krom was on his electric built-in amp guitar while Sara performed with her bass guitar. Bowie entertained with his rhythm guitar while Summer played on her accordion and Ethel played on her drums. Their cover song had a hard rock sound with up-tempo polka overtones. In the middle of the song, Methos came in and wore a white long-sleeved Princeton sweatshirt, black jeans, and black Nikes. The ancient immortal liked it and applauded during the song’s finish.

"That’s my family," giggled Lashunda.

"Thanks for the applause. Your gifts will arrive tonight, Lashunda. Happy Birthday, Shunny Bunny! Bye!" The machine automatically went off.

"Shunny Bunny?" Methos snickered.

The next day, Anna and Lashunda were at the Science Lab 5 as they went over notes for Anna’s upcoming test. Lashunda wore a sleeveless, ankle-length black and tan Rolling Stones tee shirt dress; black five-inched platform Nikes; a black University of Memphis Varsity jacket; a black and tan fanny pack; clear lip-gloss; a ponytail; and braided bangs. Anna wore a long-sleeved purple and black "I Love Roger Taylor" tee shirt, black jeans, black Reeboks, clear lip moisturizer, a small black backpack, and several ponytails as infinite small purple and black hair clips held her tresses. Lashunda exhaled and leaned slightly back in her chair as she glazed at her student. Moments later, they finished and took a stroll down the corridor.

"Hey Lashunda. Isn’t that your sword teacher?" Anna remarked when she recognized Methos as he walked toward them and carried a black gym bag on his shoulder. Methos wore a black and gray Nike sweatshirt, black pants, black Nikes, and a black sun visor.

"Yes, it is."

"Hello ladies." He smiled and gave them a noble head bow as he passed by.

"Hi," Anna and Lashunda said together.

"How are you holding up after the break-up?" Anna asked.

"Ok so far. There are other guys. Because you see…" Shun-Luc sang The Three Degrees’ "Wanted Ads".

"That’s so true," Anna spoke after the end of the melody. "Oh by the way, your Yoda class was totally agog. When are you going to have another one?"

"Soon I hope. I will keep you promulgate about the forthcoming dates."

"Rad to the max!" To Lashunda surprise, her first Yoda class was a mild success. She had five students yesterday. They were Emily, Anna, Ziggy, Camry, and Pobe.

Camry, who was the new girl, was Cmdr. Mahogany Recife’s niece. Cmdr. Recife was Sara’s close friend as well as a former Starglazer crewmember. Camry’s family was transferred from her native Earth Prime five months ago. Camry Cuervo Tabriz, who was a 6’1 half Persian/half Brazilian Liverpool inhabitant, was secretly a Sutant telepath and had the abilities of fire and ice. The English teen had brown eyes, soft but long nose, smooth mocha brown skin, mid-length black wavy locks, large sulky lips, cleft chin, and muscular yet partially thin frame. Camry, who was two years older than Lashunda, was a virtuoso in both mechanics and electronics and had mixed vocals of Sarah McLachlan and Irene Cara.

As the young ladies proceeded to walk down the corridor, Lashunda and Anna crooned U2’s "Stay So Close (Far Away). Anna’s vocals were like Lila McCann yet moderately higher. Lashunda admired Anna’s singing and often commented peremptorily about her friend’s talent. Nevertheless, Anna hardly took the remarks seriously. The tune completed when the young crewmates entered Ten-Forward.

It was 2368. Lashunda went to bed after she became reunited with her Enterprise friends. Later she slept and dreamed about the T’Pagh’s Borg Incursion. With her Samurai sword positioned downwards, Shun-Luc hid as a small group of Borg passed by. She wore a white tank top, black Klingon uniform pants and black Klingon boots while her lengthy wild locks almost covered her face. The Borg already killed over a hundred of her crewmates so far. The Borg ship was still nearby as they proceeded to attack within the T’Pagh. Most of the perished T’Pagh either committed suicide or was killed by the part-robotic enemies. There were presently fifty T’Pagh living crewmembers as they slowly regained their ship. The survivors went to the basics with ancient subsistence skills and weaponry.

Newly appointed Cmdr. LaShun crept sneaked behind the diminutive Borg group and killed them with her sword quietly. Then she skulked away before another small group came. As she turned a corner, a Borg exited a room and grabbed her with a bear hug. She quickly wiggled out and leg swept him. The Commander later got up within a flash and killed it with several blows from her blade.

Thereupon, the dream went further to two months following the Borg Attack, the survivors were all insane. Despite, many, including Lashunda, was less psychotic than others. Since she killed one of the last Borg, Cmdr. LaShun was extremely smelly now. As the young teen sat in the command chair, her Spirit Guide, who was secretly Jack Crusher, emerged. The Starfleet Exchange Officer turned to him and sang Queen’s "Save Me". The silvery mist, that surround him, made the dark Bridge seem brighter to Cmdr. LaShun. Before her Spirit Guide spoke, her snooze alarm came on.

Subsequently, Lashunda dined with Anna at Lt. Spencer’s quarters when she finished her second shift. Lashunda wore a standard blue uniform, black eight-inched platform uniform boots, pink lip-gloss, and a French braid with a middle part while Anna wore a long-sleeved orange Yardbirds tee shirt, orange and white vest, black bellbottoms, orange six-inched platform Nikes, silvery-orange lip-gloss, and a ponytail. They ate Terran catfish, Vulcan spaghetti, and Terran salad with French dressing. Former T’Pagh Cmdr. LaShun drank Earl Grey tea while Anna had grapefruit juice. During the meal, they talked about Camry’s return to the Enterprise. Two weeks ago, she came back after her two-year stay on Vulcan Prime. Camry left the ship with her family about a month after Lashunda’s departure for the T’Pagh.

Meanwhile, Devon and Tommy sat in a nearby booth as Camry made her singing debut at Ten-Forward. She was one of the new lounge acts. She wore a black long-sleeved ballroom dress, black strapless Mary Janes, peach lip-gloss, feathery shoulder-length pageboy, and thin silver bracelet. First, she sang Rolling Stones’ "Out of Tears". Next, she did the Counting Crows’ "The Long December". The third song was Garth Brooks’ "The Dance" while the fourth tune was Bryan Adams’ "Heaven". The Cooper Brothers left during the last song.

"Your friend, Camry is good singer," perceived Tommy as he and Devon went to Tommy’s guest quarters.

CHAPTER III-ALTERATE MAKI’S STORY

I telepathically transported myself to a parallel universe and met Lashunda from other cosmos for first time. She sensed me before my arrival. Unlike my Lashunda, the Sutant demi-goddess wasn’t married and still with the Enterprise. She wore a standard blue uniform, light green lip-gross, five-inched black Starfleet platform boots, a black Starfleet fanny pack, and a ponytail with crooked middle part. I wore a black leather pantsuit, white long-sleeved tee shirt, black ankle boots, dark orange lip-gloss, and a moderately unkempt French roll with a large black hair clip. For two days, I stayed on the ship and hanged often with the analogous Shun-Luc. I found her as a cursed, sometimes timid young woman with an enchanting wit.

"For your cordiality, Lashunda." I remarked as I prepared for my egress at Science Lab 2.

"You’re welcome." She smiled.

"Oh by the way. In my universe, you and Barclay are married." This was true since Lashunda was eighteen she had a private yet quiet romance with Barclay. At nineteen, she wedded the older officer on Earth while they both were on shore leave. Though the wedding was small with Lashunda’s adopted parents and Barclay’s parents as guests, the espousal happened three months after the wedding of Devon and Emily. Seven months following Lashunda’s twentieth birthday, the secret was discovered. Deanna caught them making out in Barclay’s quarters.

"Intriguing," she chuckled because it didn’t surprise her. Lashunda always had a strange attraction toward Reginald.

At the same time, Reg helped Lashunda set the table. Lashunda wore an added tribal marriage symbol with her wrist tattoo while she had a similar uniform like the parallel Shun-Luc yet without the fanny pack. Her slightly fluffy shoulder-length curls hung with a middle part. Reg wore a gold wedding band, a gold uniform, and a black tribal wedding tattoo on the side of his neck. Lashunda kissed him on his facial cheek before they put the victuals on the table.

ALTERNATE TOMMY’S STORY

Many of us saw this coming about the two love connections a while ago as we prepared for the double wedding. Lashunda will marry Ares, the God of Love while Othella will wed Hercules, the God of Strength. The Godly Greek half-brothers were both between good and bad. For Ares, he wore either black or white leather. For Hercules, it was either with or without chains with his leather outfits.

The impeding double wedding sent shock waves to both the mortal and Deus universes since hardly anybody knew about the two romances. At first, Adm. Quinn thought that it was a joke when Hercules asked for the blessings of Adm. and Mrs. Quinn. However, Hercules later received their blessings. Capt. Picard and Sara had mixed reactions when Lashunda and Ares told them about their engagement. The Enterprise Captain was coupled with amazement and happiness while Sara was paired with blissfulness and slight disturbance.

Ares and Lashunda’s love affair started over a year ago when Ares finally got the nerve to talk to his then nineteen adulated clandestine. She unknowingly enthralled the famous god since she was fourteen while still a Starfleet exchange officer. Briefly following their first encounter, they fell deeply in love. Sometimes Ares disguised himself on their dates. Numerous people, especially Picard and Troi, became suspicious because the Counselor repeatedly felt the Greek God’s presence.

Hercules and Othella were a different matter altogether. My wife, Jessica, was the first to find out about the affaire d'amour and helped them continue the classified love. Two days ago, Hercules sang The Tommy Rich Project’s "Nobody Knows" to her as he played it on an acoustic guitar. Later, she sang Whitney Houston’s "I Believe in You and Me". Her vocals were cross between Kate Bush and Billie Myers. Othella rarely sang especially in public.

CHAPTER IV-NARRATOR’S STORY

It was 2370 in the regular universe while Lashunda sat at the bar and listened to Data’s so-called jokes as LaForge looked on as he stood beside Data. Data laughed at the punch line while Lt. Spencer stared at the pair with a calm expression. Since her arrival from Deep Space Nine, she kept her distance from Data and started to isolate herself from her Enterprise crewmates again. Lashunda wore a blue standard uniform, a ponytail, pink lip-gloss, and five-inched platform boots while Data and LaForge wore standard gold uniforms. The android’s continued chortle seemed surreal as her dark eyes dropped briefly before they returned their attention to the now zealous android.

"….Honor guests," yelled Picard as he stood near the Ten-Forward’s entrance. Data and Geordi turned around to glaze at their Captain. When they returned their attention to Lashunda, they found an empty chair in her place. Lt. Spencer stepped silently out of Ten-Forward. As she thought about her life, she sang Fleetwood Mac’s "Landslide". When she arrived at her quarters, she changed into her long-sleeved Klingon grayish-violet pajamas and went to bed.

Three years went by after she became a Sutant demi-god. Lashunda sat on a dark lounge in her manor’s living room and held two-month old Gabriel Elton Cooper, Devon and Emily’s infant son. He looked like Devon but had Emily’s hair and complexion. The young infant wore a long-sleeved blue and white jumpsuit, matching baby Reeboks and a blue baby cap. Shun-Luc wore a long-sleeved Vulcan black and pink jumpsuit, matching leather Keds, and clear lip-gloss while her straight waist-length locks hung with a middle part. He slept soundly in Lashunda’s arms as his parents sat in a nearby couch. Last week, she became his godmother while Anna became his god-aunt. His Uncle Tommy was presently his godfather.

Her new album, "Lady Clea", was recorded at her household studios and became a moderate success. Ironically, she was happy that nobody made a big fuss about it like a previous album. Some of the recordings were semi-autobiography yet were about her previous life as a black Greek Amazon during the Zeus Era. On the album, there were two duets. First, she and Reg did "Love Is" by Brian McKnight and Vanessa L. Williams. Reg used "Issac Berks" as a pseudonym. Second, Shun-Luc and Running River did Frank Sinatra’s "Summer Wind". Her dad had currently two copies of the album.

ALTERNATE EMILY’S STORY

I cheered as Lashunda blew out the twenty-two candles off her birthday cake at her manor. Her boyfriend Duncan MacLeod kissed her passionately but briefly. Her wide grimace exposed her white teeth and deep dimples. She giggled as she thanked all of us. Anna and Methos helped create Shun’s surprise birthday party when I assisted with the decorations. Lashunda wore a blue and black turtleneck knitted sweater, which was a gift from Methos; denim pants, black ankle boots, clear lip-gloss, and a silver heart-shaped bracelet while her almost waist-length curls were pinned back at the sides with a few black hair sticks. I wore a long-sleeved pink winged unicorn tee shirt, purple bellbottoms, seven-inched black platform boots, neon pink lip-gloss, a black fanny pack, and a rather straight shoulder-length shag with a crooked middle part. My husband, Devon, joined Methos in the kitchen while I backed away from the small crowd.

I watched Lashunda and Duncan kiss again. Methos was the cause of their almost two-year intimate relationship. He first resolutely paired them up with blind dates since he knew that they were available at that time. Besides, Methos was a former professional matchmaker. I ran my fingers through my mane as I thought about my pets, which were at home with the pet setter.

That evening, Devon and I relaxed in our large round bathtub. We sang "Your Precious Love" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell as we played somewhat seductively with each other in our bath. After the song, we stepped out of the bathtub, dried each other off, and kissed. Devon’s towel unexpectedly fell off as we continued to buss. Soon I put on a long-sleeved green nightgown when he put on gray and white pajamas. When we entered into our bedroom, we embraced again.

His skin seemed soft and smelled sweet as I continued to kiss him. I unbuttoned his shirt and established to nibble on his bare shoulder. He moistened his desirable yet swollen lips. I was surprised about my intense hunger when I subsequently ravished him. During our penetration, I mostly overpowered with my libido. Oddly, I noticed that he loved my domination.

Two weeks came and left. I rode my bicycle down the street near my house when I saw Hercules strolled on the sidewalk. He wore a black and crème polo shirt, black shorts, and black Nikes. I wore a white and brown long-sleeved ‘flying baby unicorn’ tee shirt, black pants, black British Knights, silvery-white lip-gloss, and a braided ponytail. He waved at me so I returned the greeting. I first met him at his wedding to Othella two years ago. The nuptials were bit of a shock to nearly all of us since a few knew about their affectionate association. At the wedlock ceremony, Jessica was the maid of honor. As time went on, I discovered that he was a charmed person even if his physical features were unpretentious to me.

LASHUNDA’S STORY

Today, I visited my Uncle Ren’s grave for the first time in four years. I still missed him greatly. Every time I heard a Tom Petty, old gentle memories resurfaced. His Enterprise visits always-kept Picard and some of the crew on their toes. When I was younger, he told me many stories about my grandfather, Channy. Ironically, some of the stories were extremely comparable to many of my prior experiences. My Uncle Ren once spoke that my grandfather and I were connected souls due to lineage.

With two days, I landed my shuttlecraft, Ty at Docking Bay 3 as Capt. Picard waited for me. I wore a blue uniform, a black medium-sized backpack, and clear lip balm. My black curly waist-length tresses were braided back at the sides into a ponytail while the rest hung down. During the recent months, he commenced to show more concern for my warfare. To me, he was up to something. I stepped out with my luggage and received from the older officer. His smile gave me nausea as well as cynicism and fear. I became stoical as he came closer. He embraced me somewhat tightly as I softly accepted his greeting.

He followed me to my quarters and asked about my trip. I told that it was okay. He seemed anxious as we came near to my quarters. Before I entered, Captain Picard’s communicator sounded. It was Data. He said that a large ship was near by and its captain wanted to talk to us. I dropped my bags quickly in my quarters and joined Picard on the Bridge. The alien captain was Louisa and greeted us. Her new ship was the Georgia and appeared bigger than Deep Space Nine.

"…To make it brief. I need Lashunda for an important mission. I will back her soon. I hope possibly not in pieces." She chortled as Picard’s eyes cautiously looked at her up and down. "Relax Picard! I’m kidding. Can’t you take a joke?"

"Yes but your humor doesn’t amuse me."

"It figures since you are so stuffy. Well, come on Number One."

"Number One?"

"Yes. You got yours and I got mine."

"Okay but let me get my luggage."

"No, don’t bring anything including your fanny pack."

"All right. Let me put up my fanny pack and I will join you."

I raced to my quarters, put in my fanny pack in my bedroom drawer, locked my quarters’ door before I came back on the Bridge. Therewith, the Georgia beamed on its ship. Louisa bid the Enterprise a farewell ere the larger ship sailed away. I looked about on the Bridge. It was similar to the Enterprise yet was bigger and had brighter colors. I perceived several of my T’Pagh crewmates, who looked well.

Forthwith Lt. Kelsty, who was an 8’2 male Klingon, showed Lashunda to her guest quarters. Kelsty was a T’Pagh survivor, like Lashunda though he was two years older than his former commander, LaShun was. He wore a gray and black uniform, which was analogous to Starfleet. The older officer gave her a tour of her quarters. The guest quarters were twice as large as her recent Enterprise one.

"These chambers are totally dauntless." Lashunda said.

"Oh the Captain wants you to change into those garments that are on the bed."

"Okay,"

"I’ll wait at the door." Shortly afterwards, she stepped out dress in a long-sleeved lacy Klingon pink ankle-length dress, 10-inched platform black boots, and a Klingon black torso sash.

"You look delectable."

"Thanks."

"Let’s hie. The captain awaits us."

THE END

SPECIAL THANKS TO THE PREVIOUS, SALLY GATES, A. DAVEPORT, ETC

COURTESY TO THE SAME PEOPLE

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