Published in the Star Trek Fanzine "Eridani" in 1994.

AMIDST THE DARKNESS, HOPE
=========================

Written by: MaryD
maryd_oz@yahoo.com

(c) August 1994 MaryD

The smell of jasmine permeated the gardens as Major Kira Nerys
walked quietly through. The arboretum had Bajor's plants and a few
of the Federation variety which gave the gardens a varying look. She
looked at the young plants and sighed. She didn't hear the footsteps
behind her.

"I didn't know you appreciated gardening, Nerys."

Kira turned and found Governor Keiv Kali, the new Bajoran Governor
of New Bajor, his dark hair intermingled with the grey and his dark
eyes smiled. Kira looked at her old Shakaar comrade and marveled at
the different paths the Prophets chose for them both.

"It's peaceful here. I didn't think you would be Governor!" Kira
responded with a chuckle.

"I don't think I even believed I would live that long. I guess no
one believed.."

"It's been a long time, Kali."

"Yes...too long. I hear you're the Bajoran Liaison Officer to the
Federation, some job...didn't think diplomacy was your style!"

The two friends laughed. The young Kira Nerys was not known for her
diplomacy or tact.

"Times have changed."

"I'm sorry I didn't meet you when your runabout landed. Being
Governor is a lot harder than I thought! I have something to show
you."

Kali took her hand and led her out of the aboretum and through to
New Bajor's new town square. In the centre stood a large statue of
the Resistence Leader, Dianon Jurii. Kira looked up and smiled.

Dianon Jurii was the man responsible for taking all the rag tag
resistence groups and forming a united Bajoran Resitence. He was
Kira's hero and father figure since she had lost her own father, he
took on the responsibility of looking after the scared and
frightened child. Whatever she knew in social graces she owed to
Dianon Jurii. Kira touched the statue and smiled.

"He would have been proud of you, Nerys. We're calling this square,
the Dianon Jurii Memorial Circle. What do you think?"

"I think he would have liked that."

"A tribute to one of the greatest Reistence Leaders that Bajor ever
had. It's just a small tribute that New Bajor can give."

***

Kira struggled to move, the rain and the mud hampered her movement.
The sounds of bombs and phasers, the cries for mercy echoed in her
head as a flash of brilliant light exploded in her head.

"NOOOOO!" She screamed as she woke from her nightmare.and she
struggled to stop the images in her head. She sat up and looked
around the unfamiliar room. She struggled out of bed and to the
replicator. Her bare feet cold against the stone floor.

"Ginger tea."

She took the steaming cup of tea and sat on the corner of her bed.
She took a sip and closed her eyes and exhaled. The nightmares had
returned. She had tried to meditate, she spoke to Bareil but her
nightmares persisted. She put on a robe and took the ginger tea
outside to the cool night.

The stars shown brightly as Kira sat outside her room on a makeshift
chair. The stars were different. This was not Bajor. This was not
her home. Another time and another Bajor.

"Can't sleep?" Leutenent Jadzia Dax, the Trill Science Officer, said
as she sat next to her friend. She was worried about her friend, she
had been moody and quiet ever since they arrived on New Bajor.

"No...it's too noisy here." Kira said and took another sip of her
steaming mug of tea.

"Oh...so the palukoos woke you up?" Jadzia said and tried not to smile.

Kira looked at her friend and frowned. "Has anyone ever told you,
you are nosey?"

"After eight lifetimes, I've heard it all...what else is there for a
Trill to do."

Kira grimaced at the bad joke. She wanted to tell Jadzia her
nightmares but she wouldn't understand. No one could unless they
were there. "I'm all right. Just thinking. I'm too tired to sleep I
guess."

Jadzia didn't buying any of that story. She looked at Kira and glanced
at the stars and sighed. "Sometimes Kira, a burden shared is less of
a burden if someone can carry it with you."

Kira smiled in the darkness. "I'll remember that."

"Good, I think I'll go and and get some sleep."

***

The sun shown brightly as Governor Kiev Kali stood with Kira near
the runabout Orinoco. Their duty completed and they were heading
back to Deep Space Nine.

"Take care of yourself, Nerys."

"Take care of New Bajor, Kali.' She kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"Ah Lt Dax, I haven't met many Trills but if you are a sample of
what Trill women are like, please stay and marry me!" The Governor
joked.

"She's too old for you, Kali!" Kira said and heading into the
runabout.

"But I like older women, Nerys! You should know that!" His voice
trailed inside the runabout as the door closed. Dax looked at Kira
with a quizical expression.

"Don't ask!" Kira said before Dax had a chance to question the
Governor's statement.

The stars quickly drifted by as the runabout made it's way
through the Gamma Quadrant and toward the wormhole for the Alpha
Quadrant. The occupants of the runabout sat engrossed in their own
thoughts. For Jadzia Dax it was a wonderful experience being at the
opening of New Bajor's Peace Gardens. The relaxed atmosphere she
thought would made Kira relax after the last couple of months. She
glanced over to Kira who seemed to be engrossed in her reading padd
although Dax was sure she hadn't read any of it since she glanced at
her a couple of hours ago.

"My spots have started to fade..." Dax said trying to get Kira's
attention.

Kira merely grunted and continued to stare at the padd.

"Kira...did you hear what I said?"

"What?" The Bajoran answered and looked up.

"You're not listening...is anything the matter?"

"No...I'm okay...just tired."

Kira closed her eyes and tried to relax but the images returned and
she opened her eyes again and went back to her padd.

Dax didn't believe her. She had been moody, more than usual, at the
ceremony. She dismissed the those thoughts as she prepared for entry
into the wormhole.

"10 seconds to the wormhole."

The majestic entrance to the wormhole opened and it still awed
Jadzia every time they passed it. She had seen and felt many
experiences in her eight lifetimes or her symbiot, Dax, had but this
always amazed her. The lights and colours inside the wormhole were
breathtaking.

The lights changed. Dax looked up in amazement at Kira.

"What the hell..." Kira said and she struggled to take control of
the runabout.

"I've seen this before!" Dax exclaimed.

She had seen this before, when Commander Benjamin Sisko and herself
had discovered the wormhole. She had both seen the kaleidoscope of
colours. The runabout came to a stop. Whoever or whatever caused
this landed the runabout in what appeared to be a clearing in a
forest in the middle of the night somewhere.

"Well...let's see what's out there." Kira said and got up from her
chair.

They both exited the runabout. Kira looked at the heavens. "This
can't be..." and then she looked down at her uniform to see it was
replaced with dark pants, vest and tunic. She looked over at Dax who
also had the same clothes.

"What?...This can't be..." Dax looked around the dense foliage and
turned to Kira who was looking very confused.

"Jadzia, this is Seltris..it.."

"Who are you?" A voice sounded through the darkness followed by a
light beam.

"I'm..Lt Jadzia Dax from Starfleet and this is..."

"Starfleet? By the Prophets! What are you doing here? I thought
Starfleet didn't want to get involved in our problems!"

"Why don't you reveal yourself?" Kira ordered. She already knew the
voice but was still taken aback when the young Bajoran revealed
himself. "Kali..." She whispered.

"My name is Kiev Kali, and you are Bajoran...but who are you? Don't
you know the Cardassian patrol will be heading this way shortly!"

"I'm from the exiled Bajoran Military."

The boy laughed. The exiled Bajoran Military was a running injoke in
the Shakaar and easily identified the members. He would congratulate
this woman later on. "What cell are you from." He said as he
lowered his weapon.

"The 10th...we were ambushed by the Cardassians."

"Well come with me, I'm sure you will find a home with us. What
about your friend?"

"She's a Trill, she just thinks she's in Starfleet.'

The boy laughed. "Oh, I see. And what's your name?"

Kira hesitated. "Rana Kevlar."

"Okay Rana lets go before the regular patrol catch us."

They trudged through the brushes, the young Bajoran leading the way.
Dax slowed down.

"Where are we?"

"We're back on Bajor...this is Seltris. Behind those mountains is
the Seltris 3 Cardassian settlement."

"Seltris 3? Wasn't that destroyed by the resistance 20 years ago?"

Kira nodded. "That's why I didn't give my name, if we are where I
think we are then a younger Kira Nerys is lurking around here." Kira
said and smiled. She was baffled. She had been thinking about this
place since her nightmares returned.

The were led into an underground cave and through myriad of tunnels
before they got to the main area which was lit. Kira recognised her
old comrades. She knew this place. It was her home for over five
years and these were her family.

The young Bajoran that led them here dropped onto the floor in
exhaustion.

"Any news, Kali?" A middle aged man with silver hair and a commanding
presence said as he stood in front of the boy.

Kira froze. Dianon Jurii, the leader of the Shakaar cell was a
father figure to her. The man she grew up loving as her own father.
She adored the man. A smile formed on her lips. It was good to see
him again. He was shorter than she remembered and his hair was
greyer. His eyes were still the sky blue she remembered.

"Well, I picked up two lost palukoos but I didn't sight anyone
else. Jurii, this is Rana Kevlar, her cell was destroyed by the
Cardassian ambush we heard about two nights ago and her friend
Jadzia Dax, she's a Trill who thinks she's in Starfleet." He said
and laughed.

Dianon turned towards them and smiled. His grey eyes shone as Kira
tried to keep her tears in check. Dianon looked at the Bajoran. The
eyes reminded him of someone. He knew that look in her eyes. She
also had seen a lot in her short years.

"Rana, what cell are you from?"

"The 10th. We were ambushed by the Cardassians. Unfortunately Stac
and the rest of my comrades were killed. I just managed to escape
and I found Dax wandering around..."

Jadzia looked at Kira and decided it would be best to let her do the
talking since it looked like she knew what she was doing. The
mention of the cell leader's name caused a grimace of pain to cross
his face.

"Yes, a collaborator sold you out...we got word of the massacre a
few days ago. We thought everyone had died..."

Dianon stopped talking as commotion was heard in the tunnels and a
Bajoran man walked in laughing. His uniform was covered in mud and
his salt and pepper hair was matted with dried leaves and the same
mud. He walked in laughing and threw the knapsack he held to the
ground.

"Anton! What the ... oh the Prophets! What _is_ that smell!" Dianon
said as he held his nose.

The cause of the smell walked in. A young Bajoran girl, her dark
hair covered in mud and what appeared to be effluent. The only
visible uncovered area were her dark eyes. Her clothes were covered
by sludge and mud. Her shoes squished as she walked leaving a muddy
trail.

Dax was taken aback. She knew those eyes and she looked from Kira to
the girl.

Kira sat there grinning.

"Nerys! What in the Prophet's name..."

"Argh! I hate Cardassians! They can't even build latrines
correctly!" The girl snapped back and went to clean up.

Anton Kief laughed until he hurt and then turned to his leader and
laughed some more.

"We set the explosives and we hid. Little miss nosey wanted to see
the ammunitions explode so she went behind another building..." He
again exploding in a booming laugh. "Ah...the explosives went up..."

The young Bajoran girl came out again still covered in the mud but
her head had been washed and she held a towel. "If you don't stop
I'm going to kill you!" She snapped and went back inside.

"Oh I'm sorry, Kai Nerys!" The man said and fell to the floor
twitching in mock horror.

"What happened to get Nerys smelling like that?!"

"Well when the explosives went up, it also obliterated the latrines
but Nerys also fell into a sewerage Well...we had to go through the
tunnels and they were filled with mud from the rains, the
Cardassians would have smelt her for kelipates if we hadn't!" Anton
couldn't keep a straight face any longer and howled.

Everyone began to laugh. Nerys walked back in, clean and with a
clean uniform. She looked furious. She went over to the pot and got
herself something to eat and sat down.

"You still smell." Anton said and chuckled. "Hey, Jurii, I think we
should leave Nerys here for the raid on Seltris..the Cardassians
would smell us coming!" Anton said and roared again at his own joke.

Nerys just glared at him. "Where's that Fire Wine you promised?"

"You're not old enough for that! I'll bring it to you...although it
would smell a lot nicer than you do!"

Kira got up and walked a little way outside the main area. Kira's
tears rolled silently down her face and she tried to hide from
general view. Dax walked on over and rested on a nearby rockbed.

"Kira, are we where I think we are?"

"It seems so, I'm not sure how it happened but we're definetly not
in the wormhole.

They both sat on the rockbed watching the cell members. From behind
a rock a small palukoo appeared and ran across Jadzia foot.

"Whoa!!" Jadzia jumped in fright and tried to stamp the spider with
her boot.

Kira roared with laughter at the sight of Dax jumping up and down.
The younger Kira Nerys raced to see the commotion and threw a dagger at
the departing spider.

"What are you scared of? It's just a palukoo!" She said and speared
the animal and threw it to Kali. "Trills are so soft!" She said in a
huff and walked off to finish her dinner.

Everyone settled for the night. A single beacon shown in the
sleeping Shakaar members. Kira sat up and walked out to the clear
night air. She sat down on the boulders and looked up to the
heavens. She tried to make sense of what had happened but found only
questions.

"Survivors are the ones who suffer." Dianon Jurii said as he got out
of the cave and sat next to her. "You have guilt, you have to
forgive yourself, Rana. I have seen how you try and keep your tears
back. I call in Survivor Guilt."

Dianon looked at the young woman, he felt a bond between them even
though he only met her. He wanted to ask about her life but he could
see she was grieving and he didn't want to cause her any more pain.

"I don't feel guilty..."

"Then why aren't you asleep like everyone else?"

Kira remained silent. She didn't know how to tell him she was afraid
to go to sleep, afraid her nightmares would return. Afraid to shut
her eyes.

"As I said, you are a survivor." Jurii said and picked up a small
pebble and threw it.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Kira retorted.

Jurii sighed and fingered the pebbles in his hand. "I'm a survivor."
He got up and placed his hand on her shoulder. "I have lived many
years under Cardassian occupation. I have seen family and comrades
die and one day I will die, but I know that the Prophets will guide
us one day to reclaim what is ours."

He walked away leaving Kira to stare into darkness. Hours passed as
Kira sat there looking for answers she couldn't find. She rested her
head between her hands and sighed.

"I didn't know you were on duty tonight."

Kira was startled, she looked up to find Nerys staring at her. "I'm
not, I couldn't sleep."

"Oh...I couldn't either."

The two of them sat side by side. Kira looked at the young Bajoran.
She saw the fire that burned and the anger. She closed her eyes. She
wanted to tell her not to make the mistakes, not to let the
bitterness and the pain become a barrier but she couldn't. How could
she tell someone to do something what she couldn't do.

"How long have you been in the Shakaar?" Nerys asked unexpectedly.

"Since I was 12."

"Me too...I hate Cardassians."

Kira was taken aback by the venom in the statement. "They are not
all the same." She said. Her statement would have sent her into a
rage had it been said before she met the Cardassian, Amon Morritsa.
He had come to the station to sacrific himself for the atrocities
committed on Bajor by the Cardassians. He only achieved a small
miracle in making Kira a friend. His death caused her to re-evalute
her feelings for the race.

Nerys looked at the older woman and stood up in fury. "After what
they did to your cell?! I would kill any Cardassian."

"Even if you live to regret it?"

"I would never regret taking a Cardassian life. I'm Bajoran."

With that she stood up and walked into the cave. Kira sighed and
walked inside herself.

***

The next morning, Jurii had assembled all cell leaders for the
meeting that was to decide the fate of Seltris 3. Kira looked about
at the meeting of some of the greatest resistance leaders.

"Rana, would you join us since you are the only one left of the 10th
cell?"

Kira nodded and went to the group. Dax sat down to breakfast and
looked around for any more wandering spiders.

Hours passed and the meeting had still not concluded. Dax was
curious. She had heard a great deal about the Seltris 3 raid but
never from anyone who was there. She was unaware that Kira had been
involved.

"Kief, what's going on in there?" Nerys said anxiously pacing the floor.

"You know, Nerys, one of these days your impatience will get you
killed." Anton Kief said as he stacked some phasers.

"I doubt that!"

"Are you going on the raid?" Dax asked Kira.

Nerys frowned at her. "I want to see someone stop me!"

"At least you don't stink anymore!" Anton chimed in as he left the room.

***

Kira Nerys stared at some of her former heroes. She couldn't believe
she was sitting down with them. Men and women who had risked their
lives, their freedom for the freedom of Bajor were all gathered
there. As usual Jurii took command and held it.

"All right then, everyone will meet at 26:00. Lets go and prepare
our cells. Tonight will go down in Bajoran history as the night we
obliterated a Cardassian outpost from the soil of Bajor and lets see
if they dare to build another settlement on our soil! We'll show
those animals that we can strike back!"

A battle song began as the leaders broke up. Dax looked around and
all the Bajorans were standing, their hand across their heart. She
looked over to Nerys. What she heard was a resounding singing voice
she didn't know Kira possessed.

"I didn't know you could sing." Dax whispered to Kira.

Kira smiled. "You didn't ask." She went back to singing the battle
song. The years melted away and Kira was led by the stirring voices
of the battle cry.

The singing ended with a resounding cheer. Jurii stepped forward to
silence them.

"Tonight, we will be victorious!"

***

Kira paced. She was nervous. She had been down this road before but
this was not how she remembered the days events. All around her the
cell was getting ready for the biggest assault on the Cardassians yet.

"All right people, listen up. If for any reason this goes wrong, DO
NOT come back here. If the Cardassians know we are coming, then they
will know we will be here. Be careful."

Everyone picked up their phasers and home made bombs and trudged on
out. Kira and Dax were right behind. Everyone assembled in the
brushes. The night was cold, colder than Kira remembered it. Light
rain began to fall as they moved out.

"Oh great!" Nerys said in disgust as she looked at the heavens.
"More sludge!"

A chuckle rose from the group as they trudged on ahead. The cold and
the rain made the ground muddy as the group met up with the other
cells at the rendezvous point. The place was a desert. Here they can
assemble and form the Bajoran juggernaut that would assault the
Cardassian colony.

All the groups formed and separated into four units going North,
South, East and West. They would attack from all sides.

The night exploded in bomb blasts as the first piece of the Bajoran
units moved in. The colony was ablaze as fires were set off and
bombs exploded. The sky was lit from the burning houses. Women and
children screamed as Cardassian soldiers, awoken from their sleep,
rushed to battle. Dax and Kira stayed back, guarding the rear. Dax
looked around as Kira readied herself to join Jurii's team.

"Jadzia, I have to do this. Stay here." She said and joined Jurii.

"No! Kira, wait!" Jadzia pleaded as she watched Kira join the group.

The younger Nerys stopped, she turned and looked atthe Trill
quizically. She shook her head and ran to the group and joining them
as they were about to strike.

Heavy rain began to fall making the compound a quagmire both for
Bajoran and Cardassian. Kira looked at the younger Bajoran woman and
vowed to try and change history if it were possible.

Jurii's cell moved in, firing phasers and throwing bombs, the group
led by Jurii stormed the ammunitions bunker. The doors were flung
open and a group of Cardassian soldiers exited. They were still
dressed in their night shirts as they fired from the compound.

Kira's felt the old responses return as she fought side by side with
the child she was. The smell of the fires stang her eyes and
nostrils. She raised her phaser and fired at the approaching
Cardassians.

The younger Nerys looked around and began to shoot. She hit one of the
Cardassians, no older than she was before he had a chance to lift
his phaser. She turned to see her leader, Jurii fall in front of
her. A phaser blast from the Cardassians in the compound
caught him in the chest ending his life.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Nerys yelled as she fell to her knees. Jurii was dead.
She began to weep.

Kira stopped in her tracks and ran back to the dead man. She kneeled
beside his body and the weeping child.

Nerys got up, tears ran down her face and she picked up Jurii's
phaser and held her own. She fired blindly at every Cardassian she
could see. Her sorrow gave way to blind anger as she yelled curses
and fired both phasers.

A mother and child ran out of the compound trying to escape the
killing. Nerys turned and came face to face with the Cardassian
woman and her child.

She stared at the Cardassian woman and then at her child. She was no
older than her, her eyes pleading for mercy and screaming for
deliverance.

Nerys hesistated and then slowly raised both phasers to fire. Kira
stepped into the breech between the Cardassians and Nerys.

"Get out of my way, Rana or by the Prophets get out of my way!" Nerys
screamed through the tears and the anger.

"No, I won't let you do this."

"Move or damn you, I will kill you!"

"Nerys, don't kill an innocent child."

"No one is innocent in this war, No Cardassian is innocent. Move
away or I will be forced to kill you as well."

Kira saw she couldn't reason with her. Her anger and bitterness
clouding any reasoning. She stepped aside. Nerys looked at the
defencless Cardassian woman and child, trapped between the body of
the dead Shakaar leader and the phaser. Nerys ran toward the
Cardassian ammunitions tower, she turned at the entrance and with a
loud cry she fired her phaser killing them both.

"I don't forgive Cardassians and I never will!" She screamed at Kira
who stood in the rain.

The woman and the child lay in the mud as the rain washed away their
life. The Cardassian girl's eyes stared into open space, a grimace
of pain etched forever. Nerys' anger burned and she turned and
stormed the ammunitions tower with Anton. They raced out again just
before the tower exploded into a fire ball sending debris flying
through the fire lit sky.

The battle raged as the Cardassian were caught off guard. The death
toll rose on both sides. The battle raged for hours until the final
shots ringed in the early hours of the morning.

The destruction of the Seltris 3 outpost had been a success. Kira
and Dax watched as the cell regrouped, carrying the bodies of the
dead and wounded back into the brush and safety.

Nerys knelt before the body of her leader. She held his cold, wet
hand and wept. She placed both his hands in her hands and quietly
sang the Bajoran death chant.

Kira walked over to the edge of the dense bushland and watched the
fires of the burning colony. She had seen this event so many times.
She was startled by a hand on her shoulder. She turned and faced...

Jurii!

The old man stood before her. She looked at the scene behind him, he
lay dead in the mud, his 'family' all kneeling beside his body and
then turned to the man who stood before her. Kira gasped.

"You have to let go, Nerys. We all did what we had to do.Forgive
yourself. Move on."

With those words Jurii disappeared. Kira sank to her knees and wept.

A flash of light exploded in front of her and they were back on the
runabout, back in the wormhole, heading for Deep Space Nine.

"You have to forgive yourself, Nerys."

Those words reverberated in her head. She was surprised when she
opened her eyes and found Jadzia looking at her.

"Are you okay, Kira?"

"Ye..yes I'm fine...are you okay?"

Dax looked puzzled. They had been in the runabout for a few hours.
Nothing had happened She didn't think there was anything wrong.

"I'm fine. I was just saying we're here."

"Oh...Dax.." Kira stammered. She wondered if she had dreamt the events of the
past
few days. "What happened in the wormhole?"

Jadzia frowned. She couldn't remember anything unusual happening
while they went through the wormhole.

"We entered the wormhole and we exited the wormhole. Nothing happened."

"Oh." Kira said and closed her eyes.

***

Bajor's sun set as the early afternoon shadows lengthend. Vedek
Bariel closed the doors to the orb and bowed his head. He had to get
to Bajor. He would be needed to help a grieving soul.

Nerys would need him.

***

The runabout landed and Kira sat in the chair thinking. Dax stopped
and turned.

"Are you coming?"

"Yes.."

They walked through the air lock and onto the bustling promenade.
Kira looked up and found Vedek Bariel waiting for her, his hand
outstretched to her. She saw the look in his eyes and she knew he would
understand.

"Bareil.."

THE END