Published in the Star Trek Fanzine "Eridani" in 1994.

A Time Of Renewal

Written by: MaryD

(C) MaryD - 1994

"Lights!"

Kira Nerys strode into her quarters. She sighed, went to the
replicator and ordered hot Bajoran herbal tea. The day at Ops
had been difficult and her meeting with the Bajoran Ministers
had gone from bad to worse. She could never understand their
reasoning.

"Incoming message from Bajor"

The computer's voice filled the quiet quarters. Kira sighed and
hoped it wasn't a Minister.

"Put it on screen."

Kira sat down and ran her hands through her hair. She hated
diplomacy.

She was taken by surprise. Instead of the Minister's face, an
old woman's face filled the screen.

"Bayah!"

"Don't sound so surprised to see me, Nerys."

A flush of red flooded into her cheeks. She had been meaning to
call her grandmother but never got around to doing it. She
smiled and looked at her grandmother with tenderness. The old
woman laughed at the sight of her granddaughter. She was glad
to see her, it had been a long time.

"I think I want to spend some time with you..It has been a long
time.. may I?"

"Of course you can! I'll come to Bajor in a few days after..."

"How about if I come to the station?"

"Ah...yes..I would be happy to see you..."

Her grandmother nodded and smiled.

**********

Kira sat in Quarks nursing a drink. She twirled the liquid
around in the glass.

"Are you going to drink that or make it dizzy?"

Kira looked up at the Trill Science Officer, Jadzia Dax and
smiled as Dax took a seat next to her and ordered a drink
herself.

"Jadzia what would you say if your grandmother was coming to
the station?"

"I would be very surprised. She's dead," Dax said, sipping her
drink, and smiled.

Kira laughed.

"What if she was alive!"

"I would be happy to see her. Is your grandmother coming?"

"Yes."

"And that doesn't please you?"

"Well yes it does but she has never left Bajor in her life.
...And now she wants to come to the station.

"Maybe she wants to see the wormhole."

"Maybe..." Kira took a sip from her drink.

*************

The next morning, The shuttle docked and the air lock rolled
back to reveal an old Bajoran woman, her long white hair rolled
into a tight bun on the top of her head. Her brown eyes shone
as she saw her granddaughter.

"Nerys! I am so pleased to see you!"

The old woman hugged Kira with force that belied her strength.
She looked at her granddaughter with pride.

"You're too thin...you're not eating right, are you?"

"I'm fine Bayah. Really I am!" Kira protested but knew it fell
on deaf ears. Her grandmother had always fussed about her. Had
worried when she found out she was in the resistance. The two
women strode down the promenade where they met up with
Commander Sisko and his son, Jake.

"Commander, I would like to introduce my grandmother Kira Noni,
Bayah this is Commander Benjamin Sisko and his son Jake.
Commander Sisko is the Commander of the station."

"I know who the Emissary is, Nerys. I am very pleased to meet
you Commander." Kira Noni stretched out her hand and shook
Sisko's hand.

"Welcome to DS9. Is this the first time you've been here?"
Sisko asked, then looked slightly embarrassed. Somehow, he had
expected an ear tug from the woman.

"Yes...I have come to see the Celestial Temple, and to see my
grand-daughter as well."

The two women walked away chatting as Sisko and his son looked
on.

"I didn't know Major Kira had a grandmother." Jake said as he
looked at the departing women.

"No, neither did I."

************

Kira Noni got up from the bed and with a shake of her head. Kira
had gone to Ops, leaving her grandmother, who had been feeling
tired from her trip, in her quarters. Now Noni rose, and left
Nerys' quarters to go to the promenade.

She entered Quark's bar and took a seat at a table.

"How may I help you?," Quark inquired. "You're new here...I
haven't seen you before."

He stood beside her, towel in one hand and a bottle of blue-
green liquid in another.

"I came this morning. My name is Kira Noni...and you are?"

Quark took a bow and introduced himself. "I am the proprieter of
this establishment..Quark..at your service. And you must be
Kira's grandmother! Yes I heard you were coming."

"Did my granddaughter tell you?"

"No, but nothing is a secret for very long on DS9, " Quark said
with a flurry of the towel.

"Do you have a holosuite?"

He was taken aback. He didn't normally have requests for the
holosuites from older people. Then he thought of the Nagus
...but that had been totally different.

"We have several, are you sure you want to use them, with your
advanced..."

The old woman laughed.

"No, no, no! I do not wish to have a sexual program Mr Quark! I
would like to run a program of my own." She handed him a
program chip.

"If I may ask what program is it?"

The old woman look down at her hands and then looked at Quark
with a smile.

"It's Bajor, my home before the Cardassian occupation."

Quark looked the chip in his hand and smiled.

***************

Later that evening, Kira walked into her quarters and found her
grandmother sitting watching the stars from the view port.

"Are you feel all right, Bayah?" Kira said kneeling beside her
grandmother.

"Yes, I'm fine but I think you work too hard." Kira Noni placed
her hand on her granddaughters head. "You remind me so much of
your mother....you should grow your hair, it suits you
better..."

"What's wrong Bayah?"

"I want to tell you something..."

Her combadge sounded and Kira looked at it in disgust.


Commander Sisko's voice filled the room and Kira answered it.

"Major Kira, can I see you in my office"

She looked back at her grandmother. "I'll see you later..."

*******

The next morning, Nerys was awoken to the smell of a home made
Bajoran breakfast. Her grandmother had nearly replicated a
Bajoran kitchen in her quarters which both surprised and
pleased her.

"Bayah, you wanted to tell me something yesterday..."

"I want to show you something as well. I've booked the
holosuite..."

"YOU WHAT!" Kira stopped eating and looked at her grandmother
with total surprise.

"Are you hard of hearing, Nerys? I would get your good Dr
Bashir to have a look..."

"Bayah, my hearing is fine and he's not my good Doctor Bashir."

"Oh, he's so sweet, you do really need someone in your life
Nerys...he seems such a nice boy... not Bajoran..."

Kira rolled her eyes heavenward.

"Bayah, you said something about a holosuite?"

"Yes, I did. I said I booked one for you and I - I have a
programme that I want you to see and we can talk."

"You actually booked it from that Ferengi...from Quark!

" Is there anyone else on the station with one? He told me he
was the only one with the holosuites!"

Kira Noni smiled at the sight of her granddaughter who looked
confused.

"Nerys, you should really relax. Mr Quark is such a nice
Ferengi."

Kira groaned.

***************

The two women walked into Quarks and up to the holosuites. As
they entered, they went into Bajor. The sky was a light blue
with wisps of clouds floating by. The trees were losing their
rust coloured leaves and the air smelled
of flowers. Nerys looked at the scene before her. She had seen
a similar picture of Bajor from the historical records. Kira
Noni smiled and remembered her childhood.

"This was my home, Nerys. This was Bajor before the invasion. I
used to come here often to think and paint."

"It's beautiful, Bayah."

"It certainly was...."

"What did you want to tell me?"

"Nerys, the reason I came to the station was to see you and to
tell you something which I didn't want you to find out when I'm
gone. I didn't want you to find out about my life and not be
able to talk to me about what you learn."

"Bayah, you still have many years ahead of you..."

"We all must die one day and I am nearing the time that the
Prophets have allowed me. I'm not going to die tomorrow or the
next day but I am going to die. You have faced the death of
your comrades before. Death isn't something we must fear,
Nerys." She looked away. "We must face death with our hearts
cleansed and our minds alert."

"Do you have a disease? Dr Bashir may--"

"No, my dear. I am not suffering a disease. Just old age. I am
82 and my time is approaching. What I have to tell you is not
important in the scheme of things, nor will it affect anyone's
life but when I'm gone there will not be anyone to tell you the
truth. And the truth, Nerys, is the most precious thing you can
have."

The two women strolled through the forest, the sound of birds
were heard. The old woman faced her granddaughter and held her
hand.
"I was 20 when the invasion occurred. This is what my home
looked like on the day of the invasion. So peaceful. It's as if
it happened yesterday. When the Cardassians came it was a time
of mourning. How we wished we had armed ourselves and protected
this land. Many said the Prophets were abandoning us but I felt
that the Prophets were there, watching."

"Were you in the resistance?"

Noni's eyes clouded over as she remembered those bitter days
and remembered her friends who had lost their lives to protect
their planet.

"Yes, for a short period. We all were. All the young people
were. We had a fire in our hearts but Cardassians were bigger
and stronger than all our hearts. We were soon rounded up."

"What did you do?"

Noni closed her eyes.

"We gave up. We surrendered. We chose to live instead of die a
dreadful death but we found a more terrible thing than
death...."

"That's not something to be ashamed of, Bayah, to surrender."

"No, I guess it's not..."

As they walked side by side, the sound of fallen leaves
crunched beneath their feet.

Kira Noni sighed.

"While I was at the refugee camp, I met Tur. He was my first
love, I don't think I ever loved anyone the same way...even
your grandfather."

"Tur? That doesn't sound Bajoran..."

"It's not...Tur was a soldier." Noni looked away.

Kira stopped.

"A Cardassian?!"

"Don't make it sound like a disease, Nerys. Tur was young like
me. We found ourselves in a situation where neither of us
wanted to be there. He befriended me and we spent hours
together.

"You fell in love with a Cardassian while your fellow Bajorans
were being slaughtered?!" Kira's disbelief showed in her eyes.
She stood facing her grandmother.

"Nerys..let me explain..."

Kira walked out of the holosuite leaving Noni watching after
her.

"So much like your mother..."

***********

Kira Noni stood watching the wormhole in the view port. Tears
rolled down her cheeks.

"Are you feeling ill?" Dax asked as he stood beside the old
woman.

"No, I'm fine ....."

"Do you want to talk?" She looked at her and smiled. They
walked together to a table and sat down.

"Jadzia, have you ever done anything that you wished that
people would understand?"

"Yes, many times. But wishing it never happened didn't make it
go away. Are you upset because you did something you wished you
hadn't had done?"

"I'm not ashamed by what I did...but my granddaughter feels I
betrayed my people...I fell in love with a Cardassian."

"That is not a crime. Did you collaborate with the
Cardassians?"

"No, I fell in love with a Cardassian soldier when my home and
people were being slaughtered. I must have been the most
happiest Bajoran alive during the occupation. I was in love. I
have lived with this for 60 years, Nerys is my own flesh and
blood, I wanted her to know the truth. I don't want her to be
ashamed of me when she read my journals when i was gone."

"Kira will understand."

"No, she doesn't. Her heart holds too much hate and I'm afraid
that her hatred will make her bitter..."

****************

Kira sat in her quarters, looking at her computer screen. Faces
she knew scrolled by. Dead comrades who had died for the
freedom of Bajor. The door chimed and Kira looked up and
brushed away the tears in her eyes.

"Come."

Jadzia Dax stood in the door way with a bottle of Bajoran
wine.

"Do you want to share a glass or two with me?"

Kira nodded.

Dax sat down, opened the wine and poured it into two glasses.

"I saw your grandmother in the promenade. She told me about her
life ..."

"Save it, Dax. If my grandmother sent you to talk..."

"No, she didn't. I thought you might want to talk...and I
wanted to share this wine with you."

Kira took a gulp of the wine and poured some more.

"What's there to talk about? While millions of Bajorans were
being slaughtered, my grandmother was falling in love with a
Cardassian."

"Kira, one doesn't choose to fall in love. It just happens. I
know. You can't just tell yourself 'I'm not going to fall in
love' and then shut off your emotions."

"Dax, you don't understand. The Cardassians--"

"I understand Kira. I've had seven lifetimes of watching people
who are my friends die. With each new symbiosis those
memories are there and I'm still here. Do you think it's easy
for your grandmother to tell you she fell in love with a
Cardassian? She's hurting Kira, just like you are. She also saw
her friends die. She also suffered. I think you are being
unfair to her. She couldn't help falling in love."

Kira looked at Dax and swallowed another glass of wine.

Dax sighed and rose. She walked to the door.

"Your grandmother is in the holosuite. She would really like to
explain this to you Kira. If I were you, I wouldn't let this
pass by because when she's gone, you won't have the opportunity
to ask her."

The doors open and Dax departed leaving Kira alone in her
quarters.

****************

Kira Noni sat on a fallen log near some graves. She looked at
the green expanse and sighed. Her friends, her life had been
destroyed. Eventually he got up and went to a grave and outlined
the name on the headstone.

Kira Nerys walked through the holosuite doors and back in to
her grandmothers' Bajoran memories. The wind had picked up and
the leaves were rustling on the ground. She walked down the hill.
Her grandmother was kneeling at a grave.

"Bayah..?"

"Have you come to tell me how wrong I was? I know it wasn't
right, Nerys." She said as she turned around and faced Kira.
Tears ran down her cheeks. She motioned to Kira to sit.
They both sat down on a log nearby.

"This is where Tur is buried. He died a hero, Nerys."

"A HERO! Bayah....!" Kira stood up, her face red with anger.

"Yes, he died a hero. He died saving Bajorans from certain
death. He was willing to die rather than having 60 women and
children killed. He was killed by his commanding officer. Not
all Cardassians were butchers, Nerys. Then, about a year later,
I met your grandfather. Josii was tall and handsome but he was
not my first love...How can I explain to you how I felt, Nerys,
I was young and Tur was kind and gentle. He was very special to
me..."

"How could you love a Cardassian?"

"When you are in love, you don't look at what species they
are." Noni smiled and took Nerys' hand and held it tight. "Have
you ever been in love?"

"I didn't have time for falling in love!" Kira stood and
watched a flock of birds make their way across the sky.

"No, I forgot. _You_ were fighting the Cardassians. Do you
think you were the only one fighting them?"

"No, but I wasn't falling in love with them." Kira knew as soon
as she had said it, that it was meant to be hurtful and she
regretted it. "I'm sorry, Bayah..."

"I lost many friends, Nerys." Noni looked down at the graves
and bowed her head.

"Bayah, how could you make love to a Cardassian while your
people died?" Kira turned and looked at her grandmother.

"Nerys, when you grow old and remember what you have done in
your life, you too will remember things that you are not proud
of. Nor will all things make sense to you but in time you will
come to realize that you cannot change your past. It isn't a
crime to fall in love whether they are Cardassian or Bajoran.
Are you proud of the things you have done?"

"No...not all of them..." Kira sat back down on the log. "Why
did you wait to tell me this?"

"I don't know--I was afraid. I was unsure of myself and what,
with the recent upheavals, I didn't think it was the right
time. No time is the right time when you put off things. One day
I will die and the memories of my friends will die with me but
Nerys, the most important thing to remember is that we all do
things in our lives that we regret. All I ask is for you to
understand--for you to be able to forgive in your heart."

"I don't hate you Bayah!"

"No, not me, Nerys. Forgive the Cardassians. You have too much
hate in your heart."

"I can't...I will never forgive..."

"In your heart, one day Nerys, you will find a place for
forgiveness. If you don't you will grow old and bitter. Hatred
will be the only emotion left in you. If you don't learn to
forgive you cannot begin to love...and nothing is more precious
in this life, child, than love. This is a new beginning, a new
era for Bajor..and for her people. It's time for a renewal...a
time for forgiveness."

They stood together and walked across the forest, the only
sound was from the wind through the trees as they exited the
holosuite.

The End