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Production #V710 - Episode 10
EXT. NARROW MOUNTAIN TRACK - MORNING
Xena and Gabrielle walk single file down a mountain track just wide enough to hold them. A rocky wall stretches up on one side, and a sheer drop is on the other. Gabrielle is walking in front. The path is obscured by rocks, as though a landslide had recently happened, and they have to climb over them.
Xena, are you sure about this shortcut?
course I am.
Gabrielle turns and looks at Xena. A huge rock blocks their path.
Thirty years ago?
Xena examines the boulder.
I sent Argo around to meet us.
Gabrielle presses against the rock wall, but as Xena edges past her, she captures Xena with both hands and holds her snugly.
Gabrielle... We're on a ledge here.
Yes, we are. I feel much safer now.
Why? If I fall, you'll go with me.
You'll land first.
Xena allows herself to be distracted. She forgets the boulder and leans forward to kiss Gabrielle. The moment lengthens. Far above, a rock loosens and starts down the slope.
Xena and Gabrielle continue kissing, oblivious to the rumble of sound.
The rock picks up speed, rushing downwards towards Xena and Gabrielle.
The kiss continues.
The rock takes a slight bounce and hurtles downward straight at Gabrielle's head. At the very, very last possible second, Xena reaches up and bats the rock aside with a casual swipe of her fist.
The rock shoots to the left and smacks into the boulder, then bounces off and continues down the slope. After a moment the boulder creaks, crackles, and slowly detaches from the mountainside. The rock rolls off the ledge and falls with a thunderous roar.
Xena and Gabrielle finally come up for air, and look down the now cleared path.
Brings new meaning to
Xena and Gabrielle continue down the path, in a very cheerful mood.
EXT. DRAB BACKWOODS DIRT ROAD - LATER THAT MORNING
Xena and Gabrielle climb down off the track to the road. Xena dusts her hands off in triumph, and indicates the track with a sweep of her hand.
Certainly was more scenic. Which way?
Xena stands in the middle of the dirt road with her hands on her hips. She looks up the road, then down the road. Decisively, she starts down the road. Gabrielle falls into step alongside her.
Quiet around... oof!
Gabrielle has clapped her hand over Xena's mouth.
Xena removes Gabrielle's hand from her face, but keeps hold of it.
We're trying to take a week off from
Gabrielle checks her line of sight on Xena's body, then she looks up.
Necks... In problems.
c'mon Gabrielle. What could
A loud crack makes them both jump. They stop and look at each other.
Help! Somebody help us!
Gabrielle gives Xena a very knowing look. Xena scowls.
Gabrielle grins, and gives Xena a light slap on the behind as they break into a run towards the sounds of trouble.
EXT. DRAB BACKWOODS DIRT ROAD RIVER WASHOUT - MOMENTS LATER
Xena and Gabrielle run around a bend in the road, slowing down when they spot an overturned wagon ahead of them. It is a large wooden conveyance pulled by two horses. The road crosses a stream, and the bridge has washed out. The wagon is on its side in the water, and the horses are thrashing about.
A young, very pretty woman stands nearby, wringing her hands. An equally young, handsome man is trying to get to the horses without getting his feet wet.
Oh! Oh! Pelenius be careful!!!
Don't worry, darling! I'll have
Xena and Gabrielle stop behind them.
Think we can skip this one? We
Pelenius stands on a rock. He starts to lean towards the nearest horse. He loses his balance and windmills his arms wildly.
Oh! Oh!!! Help!!!
Pelenius falls in the water. He apparently cannot swim. He goes under. The young woman screams.
(beat - off Xena's outraged look)
Hey, you look better wet than I do.
Xena bolts for the water. She brushes past the screaming woman without a word and leaps off the bank, executing a perfect dive into the water. Gabrielle jogs over to the girl.
The woman looks at her and continues to scream.
Aieee! Aieee! Aieee!!!
Gabrielle claps a hand over the woman's mouth. The sound abruptly cuts off.
EXT. RIVER - DAY
Xena swims underwater, her hair floating around her like a dark net. She spots Pelenius on the bottom. Xena dives towards Pelenius and grabs him by the belt. She kicks off from the bottom and heads for the surface.
Pelenius has both arms and legs spread out. His mouth is open as though he is screaming under the water.
Xena erupts from the surface. She shakes her head, throwing the hair out of her eyes with a growl. Xena grabs Pelenius by the seat of his pants and pulls him out of the water, throwing him up on shore. As Pelenius' head comes out of the river, a gurgling scream comes out of his mouth.
EXT. DRAB BACKWOODS DIRT ROAD RIVER WASHOUT - DAY
The young woman spots Pelenius and runs to him, squealing in delight. She jumps on him, hugging and kissing him with great enthusiasm. Xena sloshes out of the water and steps over them, shaking herself like an annoyed wolfhound.
Oh! Sweetiebuns! Oh!!!
Gabrielle joins Xena. They both put their hands on their hips in a similar pose as they watch the two lovebirds. Pelenius coughs up water. The young woman squeals and hugs him all the harder.
Hey! You two!!!!
The two lovebirds look up at her.
Thank you! Thank you, oh great... Um....
Pelenius looks up at Xena's drenched, leather clad body.
Great Xena! Thank you.
yes! Oh, thank you! Thank you!
wedding day! Pelenius, we
Please, won't you
Xena and Gabrielle exchange looks.
We've got an appointment that way.
She points in other direction.
Pelenius and the young woman get up and walk over.
Thegos is the only town for leagues.
for their fine food, and wonderful
We're going to have a fantastic
Both lovebirds gaze at Xena and Gabrielle hopefully. Xena and Gabrielle exchange looks again.
Well, okay. I guess we could
Wonderful! Let's head off, shall we!
Pelenius turns and marches off down the road. He gets to the stream, and halts in bemusement. The horses have broken free, and run off, leaving the wagon overturned in the mud. He turns to beam at Xena.
say, Great Xena, you wouldn't know
Xena sighs. Gabrielle grabs a piece of Xena's leather armor and starts to walk forward, tugging Xena after her.
(under her breath)
Shortcuts. They get us every time.
END OF TEASER