Episode Guide Teaser Act 1 Act 2 Act 3 Act 4

ACT ONE

 

FADE IN:

 

EXT. MEADOW - MORNING

 

Opening her eyes, Xena finds herself looking atÖherself.  This, in and of itself, isnít as shocking as it might be for another, since Xena has met several of her own doubles and is more or less used to looking at someone else and seeing her own face and form.

 

She then looks down, and realizes that she has become somewhat smaller and somewhat fairer than she had been previously.

 

She looks back up into her own eyes, which are staring at her with a mixture of perplexity and concern.

 

XENA
(in Gabrielleís Body)

Interesting development.

 

 

Gabrielle opens her mouth to yell, but a laugh comes out instead.  She shakes her head.

 

GABRIELLE
(in Xenaís body)

Only you, Xena.

 

XENA

Well, itís not as if Iím unfamiliar with

this kinda thing, Gabrielle.  Iíve been

in other peopleís bodies before,

remember.  Iíve been in your body.

 

Gabrielle bites the inside of her cheek.

 

GABRIELLE

You know, I donít think Iím

going to touch that.

 

 

Xena rolls her eyes.

 

GABRIELLE

(contíd)

So, how do we fix this?

 

XENA

(thoughtfully)

Our ceremony with the Amazons must have

caused this to happen.  It helped to open

and strengthen the bond between us.  But....

 

GABRIELLE

Youíre not sure?

 

XENA

(vexed)

No.

 

GABRIELLE

All right then.  What if we just try to reverse

it?  Do what we were doing before and

see if that puts us back into our own bodies?

 

Xena tilts her head a little.

 

XENA

Might work.

 

GABRIELLE

(smiling)

Good.  What are we waiting for?

(beat)

Wait a minute.

 

XENA

What?

 

GABRIELLE

Whatís that sound?

 

Xena looks around and finds nothing amiss.

 

XENA

What sound?

 

 

GABRIELLE

Itís....

 

Reaching out, she grabs Xenaís arm, which is really her own.

 

GABRIELLE

(contíd, awed)

Itís my heart!  I can hear my heart

beating!  Well, that certainly answers

a lot of questions about your hearing.

 

Xena merely gives a slight nod and lifts her brows in an ĎI knowí fashion.

 

XENA

All right, letís see if we

can fix this. Ready?

 

Gabrielle takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly as she closes her eyes and nods to Xena.

 

GABRIELLE

Ready.

 

XENA

Okay, same as before.

Relax and breathe.

 

Sitting together, they each begin to slip into a meditative trance.

 

Then Gabrielleís eyes pop back open.

 

GABRIELLE

Wait.

 

XENA

What?

 

GABRIELLE

(frustratedly)

That infernal buzzing sound.

Canít you hear it?

 

 

XENA

(dryly)

Since youíre currently wearing my

ears, the answer would be no.

 

GABRIELLE

Well I can, and itís driving me nuts!

Gods, Xena, how do you stand this?

 

XENA

Just tune it out, Gabrielle.

 

Gabrielle rolls her eyes heavenward.

 

GABRIELLE

Tune it out she says.  By the gods,

Xena, do you know what itís like

to have an entire swarm of....

 

With a triumphant grin, she lashes out and swipes something from mid-air.

 

GABRIELLE

(contíd)

Gotcha!

 

Opening her palm, she gazes down at a thoroughly annoyed fly that buzzes and flutters its wings at her before hightailing it out of the meadow for safer accommodations.

 

GABRIELLE

(Contíd, grinning)

Long arms and lightening fast

reflexes.  I could get used to this.

 

Xena shoots her a look.

 

XENA

Watch it, bard. Thatís my

body youíre wearing.

 

 

Gabrielleís grin broadens, her eyes twinkling.

 

GABRIELLE

I know.

 

Xena rolls her eyes.

 

XENA

Can we get back to trying to undo

this?  Iím feeling a bit... cramped.

 

GABRIELLE

Veeeery funny.

(beat)

Ok, letís try again.

 

Xena nods and their eyes close once again.  It is only a few seconds before Gabrielleís eyes snap open and she is on her feet. She stumbles a bit as the legs sheís currently using are quite a bit longer than sheís used to.  Unthinking, she reaches for sais that arenít there, then straightens, frustrated.

 

XENA

What now?

 

GABRIELLE

Company, headed this way.

 

Xena also rises, though a bit more gracefully given that sheís had experience in inhabiting Gabrielleís body.  She can hear the sounds that first attracted her partnerís attention, and turns to face them.

 

GABRIELLE

One carriage, one horse.

Not moving very fast.

 

XENA

Not the bad guys, then.

 

 

GABRIELLE

Right.

 

She shakes her head obviously trying to clear her thoughts, which are running rampant as her mind tries to sync with Xenaís body.

 

Xena places her hand on, well her own shoulder, in a calming gesture.

 

XENA

Donít fight it. Everything

will be all right.

 

GABRIELLE

I feel like every nerve is trying to

get through my... er... your skin.

How do you feel?

 

 

XENA

Remarkably relaxed, believe

it or not.  But still cramped.

 

Xena gets an up close and personal gander at her own LOOK and finds herself suitably impressed.

 

Both look up as the carriage finally comes into view. It is a fine vehicle which is being pulled by a pure white horse. The driver is dressed in clean shiny leather and next to him is a guard holding a cross bow and looking very serious. Itís unclear who is riding inside, but it is clear that whoever it is is quite important.

 

They watch as the carriage starts to pass, then comes to an abrupt stop at a call from its passenger.  A tallish man wearing the distinguished cloak of middle-age steps from the carriage, his eyes round with disbelief.

 

Gabrielle finds herself looking back at the man.  He is familiar in a way that she canít quite place.

 

MAN

G-G-G-Ga-Gabrielle?

 

The stutter places him, and Gabrielle breaks out in a beaming grin.

 

GABRIELLE

Twickenham?

 

Twickenham turns to look at the woman he thinks is Xena.

 

TWICKENHAM

I-I donít b-b-believe weíve

e-e-ever met, X-X-Xena.

 

Gabrielle thinks quickly as Xena hides a smirk with her hand.

 

GABRIELLE

Well, no, weíve never... formally... met, no.

But Gabrielle loves to tell stories about

her time at the Academy, and you

know what a wonderful bard she is.

 

Xenaís smirk broadens.

 

GABRIELLE

(contíd)

She described you so perfectly

that I recognized you right off.

 

 

Twickenham smiles proudly and straightens, narrow chest puffed out like a roosterís.

 

TWICKENHAM

She t-t-talks about me, huh?

 

GABRIELLE

Often, yes.

 

He turns his smile to who he thinks is Gabrielle. 

 

TWICKENHAM

Iíd heard the ru-ru-rumors that you

hadnít a-a-aged.  And I-I-I-can see

theyíre all t-t-t-true.  Youíre as

b-b-b-b-beautiful as ever, Gabrielle.

 

He holds his arms open.

 

Gabrielle looks to Xena, gesturing with an eyebrow.

 

Xena shoots her a glare.

 

 

Gabrielleís smirk isnít hidden.

 

With a reluctance that is obvious to no one but Gabrielle, Xena crosses the distance separating herself from Twickenham and gingerly hugs him.

 

XENA

(through gritted teeth)

Itís so good to see you

again, old friend.

 

Twickenham embraces her tightly and his hands, quite of their own accord, begin to stray beyond the bounds of propriety.  Xena resists the mighty urge to break those wandering hands, instead settling for shooting Gabrielle a look she hopes will be well read.

 

Gabrielle clears her throat and steps forward, catching Twickenhamís eye with a look of her own.

 

The man pales, releases Xena, and steps back.

 

TWICKENHAM

I-I-I-I-I-I....

 

Secretly flattered, Gabrielle smiles and steps forward, which for some reason causes Twickenham to pale even further. 

 

TWICKENHAM

I-I-I-I-I-I-I....

 

Reaching out, Xena pats the man comfortingly on one bony shoulder.

 

XENA

Itís all right, Twickenham.  Xena is just

having some fun.  Right, ĎXenaí?

 

GABRIELLE

OhÖright!  Yes!  Just having

fun, Twickenham.  Honest.

 

 

TWICKENHAM

Th-th-th-th-th....  B-b-blast this

st-st-st-stutter!  I havenít b-b-been

this bad in ye-ye-ye-forever!

 

XENA

I might be able to help with that.

 

Twickenham looks at ĎGabrielleí, eyes wide.

 

TWICKENHAM

Re-re-re-really?

 

XENA

Yes.  Itís something

Xena taught me.  May I?

 

TWICKENHAM

P-p-p-p-sure!

 

Before Twickenham can blink, Xena uses her borrowed fingers to jab two spots to the left and right of his voice box.

 

TWICKENHAM

Ouch!  That hurt!  What did you....

(beat)

Hey!  My stutter!  Itís gone!!

(to 'Gabrielle')

Thank you!  Oh, thank you!!

 

XENA

My pleasure.

 

TWICKENHAM

There must be some way I

can repay you for your kindness.

 

XENA

Thatís really not necó

 

TWICKENHAM

I know!  Youíll both travel with me to Athens

in style!  My coach is large enough for both

of you and your belongings.  And, of course,

I insist that you stay in my villa during the

induction ceremony!  All the luxuries of home

and I canít think of two people who deserve it more.

 

XENA

Induction ceremony?

 

GABRIELLE

Athens??

 

 

FADE OUT.

 

END OF ACT ONE

 

ACT TWO