|Episode Guide||Teaser||Act 1||Act 2||Act 3||Act 4|
INT. STAGE ROOM – DAY
Gabrielle laughs, nearly giving everything away when she finally finds Xena in the audience. And since every hand in the place is up, she feels guilty and decides that Xena can wait while she answers one real question.
Down in front there.
In the red tunic.
A woman stands up, folding her hands in front of her as she appraises Gabrielle.
Will you please settle
a raging debate?
If I can.
Xena and Ares....
Okay, stop right there. I know
where this is going and just let
me say, she likes what I do.
The audience roars with laughter and the woman does not look pleased.
But in your scrolls you write of
Xena and Ares’ relationship. How
can she like what you do if she’s
obviously in love with Ares?
A coughing sound from the section where Xena is sitting, once again nearly trips Gabrielle up.
Ares understood Xena when she
was struggling with her path in life,
but he also manipulated her and you
can’t have love based on manipulation.
I personally think there was some
mutual respect. But Xena never
has and never will love Ares.
Turing away from the woman in the front Gabrielle picks on a young boy on the right side of the room.
Do you have a question?
The boy looks like he’s about to faint, but he stands up and Gabrielle can tell he’s shaking.
It’s okay. I don’t bite.
Can I give you a kiss?
This makes her laugh as she steps down off the edge of the stage.
To the delight of the audience Gabrielle puts her arms around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and a hug. The room responds appropriately with a chorus of ‘awwwww’. Gabrielle takes the time to talk quietly with him before he returns to his seat and she goes back up on stage.
(cont’d, turning to ‘Anthrax’)
How about you?
Very straight faced, thumbs looped in belt, looking like she might spit at any moment, Xena stands. The audience still hasn’t bought a clue.
Can you tell me what
it’s like to kiss Xena?
Come up here
and I’ll show ya.
From somewhere in the back someone shouts “It’s Xena!” The game is on now as Xena moves through the crowd and takes the stage with Gabrielle. Every person in the room rises to their feet in a deafening roar of approval and applause.
They have to wait for several beats before the room quiets enough for them to continue. They are amused and laughing with the room as everyone begins to settle down.
Gabrielle turns to Xena.
I believe I promised
you a kiss.
There is absolute silence in the room. You could hear the proverbial pin drop.
Leaning over, Xena takes Gabrielle’s face tenderly in her hands and kisses her. From somewhere in the back of the room is a noise that sounds suspiciously like someone fainting.
The woman in the red tunic down front gets up from her seat and marches over to the door. The security there isn’t going to let her leave until Xena gestures from the stage.
Oh, just ship her
the hell out of here.
They open the door and she leaves.
(cont’d, to audience)
Ares? Give me a break.
Gabrielle reaches for ‘Anthrax’s’ mustache.
Let’s get you out of that.
You’re asking me
to break character.
Yes I am. Here
let me help you.
The crowd rumbles quietly as Gabrielle takes the hat off Xena’s head and runs her fingers through Xena’s hair, freeing it from the knot it had been in under the hat. Xena gingerly removes the mustache and patch of hair at her chin.
Isn’t that better?
Gabrielle gestures to the people once again standing and applauding.
(cont’d, to Xena)
Was I arguing?
A second stool is brought up on stage and Xena takes it, placing it down next to Gabrielle’s stool.
(cont’d, to Gabrielle)
You do this really well. We should
come to these things more often.
Everyone in the room agrees…loudly.
You know, Gabrielle and I travel so
much, it’s hard to tell where we’ll be
next year, but if we can stop by, we
will. Since Kadmus has made such
a generous offer we really should
come by to support his effort.
This has Kadmus’ attention and he moves forward toward the stage.
That’s right. I think you all will be
pleased to know that Kadmus has
agreed to donate thirty percent of his
profits to a charity that you all choose.
Kadmus looks like he wants to die on the spot... the spot that Xena and Gabrielle have so expertly put him on.
Come up here. Let the folks see
what a generous guy you are.
It’s as if Xena’s stare has a magnetic pull on him, forcing his feet to move even as he’s trying to will them to go the other direction. Putting on a brave face, he joins them on stage and finds himself between Xena and Gabrielle, who have holds in a couple discreet places on his body that he is pretty sure could be lethal.
Yes, yes, Xena is right. They’ve
given so much to us it’s time for
us to give something back. We’ll
be setting up a table out in the hall
where you can drop off your
suggestion for the charity.
And this isn’t just for this year;
he’s going to do it every
year you all get together.
And when we’re in the area,
we’ll stop by to help out.
The crowd is on their feet on last time and we....
EXT. CAMP – EVENING
Xena is lying with her head on a pile of blankets, playing some kind of game with a string. Gabrielle is looking down at a scroll, but she’s not writing. She’s contemplating, which actions that include humming, tapping her foot and scratching the side of her face with the feather end of the quill.
I think I’m going to call
this one, The Sting.
Good one. He wasn’t
Speaking of expecting...
He’ll be here.
Xena if he succeeded....
He’ll be here. He knows
we know where he lives.
A beat later, several sets of feet can be heard coming through the trees. The sounds stop just short of the camp.
Are you decent?
Yes, come on in.
Autolycus, followed by Kazia and about a half a dozen others from the symposium come into the camp. After saying hello and shaking hands with Xena and Gabrielle, they all take seats around the fire.
Autolycus drops a larger bag of dinars at Xena’s side.
There’s about ten thousand there.
It’s what I could lay my hand
on while you were on stage.
You haven’t lost your touch.
With you two acting as
decoys, I couldn’t lose.
You should have seen Kadmus
running around looking for that
money. That was worth the price
of admission. So what are you
two going to do with all that?
Nothing. You’re going to take it and
give it out to as many people you
can who attended that thing. We
know it won’t cover everyone,
but it’s a nice start.
And again this is…
KAZIA & XENA
... why we love you.
Yeah we know. Just get as
much of it back as you can.
I will I promise.
Umm... we were wondering is....
END OF ACT FOUR
EXT. ROAD – DAY
Xena is walking slowly, leading Argo. Gabrielle is walking slowly behind her, engrossed in a scroll.
This is just twisted.
Oh come on Gabrielle. You know
what they say; imitation is the
sincerest form of flattery.
Xena, look at this.
Xena stops, Gabrielle takes the scroll over and points to a section.
Is that even possible?
Xena reads the scroll, considers it and smiles before turning to walk on.
It would be if I
had three hands.
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