HOT HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP & TV REVIEW!!!
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             Volume IV, Number 7, 2/15/98
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XENA

Gabrielle, upset about the fact that she caused the 
death of Xena's son, Salon, has herself punished by 
LYING NAKED ON HER STOMACH AND HAVING AN AMAZON BABE 
SPANK HER ON HER NUDE BUTT!

But then Xena comes for revenge and both fall off a 
cliff into a fantasy world where everyone starts 
singing...

Troops:
"Xena! Xena! 
The name is on every trooper's breath,
That sultry twirling miniskirt of death!
Xena! Xena!"

Xena:
"Gabrielle promised my son Salon she would babysit,
Little did I think when I returned I would fi-ind
his throat had... been... sliii-it..."

Troops:
"Xena! Xena!
Not a single warlord's sword
Could pierce that low cut drobe-ward
Xena! Xena!"

Callisto:
"If you can stand her feral sme-ell,
I can deliver to you the body of Gab-ri-elle...."

[Gabrielle appears, in her home village of 
Pedophelia]
Villagers of Pedophelia:
"Gabrielle! Gabrielle! So young and full of bliss!
Since you learned to make a warrior's ki-iss....
But now you face the biggest challenge to da-ate,
Facing Xena, your ever-so-contentious ma-ate...."

Xena:
"I was so angry that my son died"

Gabrielle:
"When I first saw you undressed I was so pe-tri-fied"

Xena: "You must face up to what you've done!"

Gabrielle:
"I just wanted to give you a backrub and have a bit 
of fu-uuuun...."

[Suddenly Salon appears]

Salon: "Momma, please give Gabby another cha-
annnce...."

Xena: "Are you saying it's ok to-"

Salon: "See her without her paa-annnts..."

Xena, hugging Gabrielle tightly: "All right I forgive 
you Gabrielle my de-ear!"

Gabrielle: "Fine oh Great Xena, but can you just take 
your hands off my re-earrr....."


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