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Volume IV, Number 12, 3/22/98
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Xena

Gabrielle contemplates whether to take a dangerous
journey into her mind.
    "It could result in your losing your entire
memory," warns the priestess.
    "Hm, that is risky..."
    "On the other hand, I should also tell you that
we start the ceremony by having some of our priestess
babes sponging your body off with warm water."
    Gabrielle: "I'm ready; what do I take off
first?"

    In her mental journey, Ares warns Gabrielle not
to enter the first river.
    "Why?"
    "It's the River of Cold Jealousy," warns Ares.
    But Gabrielle enters it. Suddenly, she has
visions of Xena, making out with her old chinese
girlfriend, making out with Callisto, making out with
her ex-wife, in fact, making out with just about
everyone but Gabrielle!
    "Arrrrrrrggghhh!" Gabrielle shrieks as she
emerges from the water.
    "If you think that was bad, just wait until you
see what comes next," says Ares.
    "W-what's next?"
    "The River of Naughty Spanking, followed by the
Hot Tub of Tortuous Tongues."
    [A few minutes later, Gabrielle is walking
through the next river, having a vision with her eyes
closed]
    "Ow! Yes Mistress, can I have another! Ow!"
Gabrielle chants, as she crosses the river, rubbing
her sore butt....

    Meanwhile, in the real world Gabrielle has lost
all her memory! Joxer helpfully informs her that he
is her secret lover.
    "Really?" says Gabrielle. Suddenly, she gives
him a big kiss. Then she frowns.
    Gabrielle, concentrating : "No, that didn't
feel right. It's almost as if I'm kissing the wrong
person... or the wrong kind of person...."

At the end Gabrielle realizes why she's been
agonizing. She's been jealous of Xena's Chinese
girlfriend!
    Suddenly Xena appears. "I knew it all along, of
course," says Xena. "I saw how angry you were when I
returned from China with all those nibble marks on my
neck. Now, let's hug and make up."
    Xena and Gabrielle share a tight tender hug for
a moment. Then, another moment. Then, a third moment.
    Xena: "Let's continue the reconcilliation in my
tent, shall we?"....

Butt tip
For those of you with VCR's, check out the scene
where you see Gabrielle's nude butt for a split
second. Is it my imagination, or does she have a Xena
tattoo down there?

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