XENA
Sandy Clark rates how season two of Xena: Warrior Princess
fared when the leading lady had a riding accident...
After the first season of Xena: Warrior Princess, the producers knew
they had a hit on their hands. The second season should have been a
cakewalk. Unfortunately, Lucy Lawless took a spill from a horse while
shooting a Tonight Show skit. A broken pelvis meant Lawless couldn't
perform many strenuous fight scenes the show required. Many of the
season's episodes had to be reworked and rewritten to take this into
account. Some of the best Xena episodes ever came from this necessity.
B1 ORPHAN OF WAR ****
Written by Steven L Sears
Directed by Charles Siebert
Xena and Gabrielle must stop Xena's former warlord underling, Dagnine,
from wiping out the Centaurs and stealing the Ixion stone. With this
artifact, Dagnine hopes to release the spirit of Centaur evil into the
world. Complicating matters is young Solan. Ten years old, Solan is
the child of Xena and her deceased warlord buddy Borias. See the
fourth season episode Past Imperfect for the details on that
relationship. Dagnine finds the hidden Ixion stone and becomes the
ultimate evil centaur. Now Xena, Solan, and Gabrielle must work with
the Centaurs to defeat the ultimate in four-legged evil.
B2 REMEMBER NOTHING ***
Written by Steven L Sears and Chris Manheim
Directed by Anson Williams
Xena and Gabrielle go to a temple of the three fates to honor Xena's
dead brother Lyceus. Of course, things are never that easy for the
warrior princess. When the temple is attacked, she and Gabrielle rush
out to save it. Xena kills an exceedingly young warrior in the
process. Stumbling back into the temple, she is offered a bounty for
her service in saving the temple. The fates rework Xena's life so that
she has never killed. She can stay in that life as long as she doesn't
take up the sword. Of course, life without Xena the warrior means that
all of the bad guys she's turned into shish-ka-bob over the years are
still around. Gabrielle is a slave, and Xena is an engaged peasant.
It's not everything she wished for...
B3 THE GIANT KILLER **
Written by Terence Winter
Directed by Gary Jones
This episode plays fast and loose with the story of David and Goliath.
Xena has returned to a graveyard to meet up with her old friend
Goliath. While Gabby wanders off and gets captured by Philistines,
Xena finds out Goliath is working for them. Gabrielle has befriended a
slave named David. While Gabrielle tries to protect David, it becomes
clear that Xena must choose between Goliath and what is right. She
tells the Israelites that Goliath has a weak point between his eyes
and sets off to challenge Goliath in battle. Unfortunately, Goliath
has a special helmet to protect said weak spot, and it is up to the
cleverness of the Israelites to win the day.
B4 GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN **
Written by Adam Armus and Nora Kay Foster
Directed by TJ Scott
Joxer joins Xena and Gabrielle in saving Greece from wild animal women
created by Bacchus. They first get clued in by everyone's favorite
talking head and song man, Orpheus, while wandering around the Forest
of the Bacchae. Eventually, the vampiric Bacchae get Gabrielle and
then Xena herself! Joxer is annoying and the plot is loose. Don't ask
too many questions of this episode. Just sit back and enjoy the parade
of animalized Bacchae, yellow contact lenses, and bad makeup.
B5 RETURN OF CALLISTO ***
Written by RJ Stewart
Directed by TJ Scott
Gabrielle is reunited with and marries Perdicus in this episode.
Callisto cuts things short, killing Perdicus after just the wedding
night. Hello and goodbye Perdicus! Gabrielle gets it in her head to
kill Callisto herself and makes Xena teach her the finer points of
swordsmanship. Callisto passes on a chance to kill Xena saying she
wants to kill Xena's soul first. Callisto captures Gabrielle and then
Xena. It would appear that all is lost, but Joxer is still free. Oh
hell, it's Joxer. Never mind, all is lost, but Xena manages to get
free and throw herself and Callisto into a pit of quicksand. This
episode's disclaimer reads: 'Although Xena finally conquered her dark
nemesis Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her leather
unmentionables.'
B6 WARRIOR...PRINCESS..TRAMP ****
Written by RJ Stewart
Directed by Josh Becker
Xena must protect a princess who looks exactly like her. In addition,
a Xena lookalike named Meg is in town to kill the princess. Meg falls
for Joxer, and Joxer thinks it's Xena. Meg throws Gabrielle in the
dungeon, and Gabrielle thinks it's Xena. When Xena rides into town,
she thinks everyone has gone insane. By the end of the episode,
everyone is totally confused as to which Xena is which. It is a funny,
mind-bending romp that pokes a lot of fun at her toys. The best lines
are reserved for her chakram which gets called a "shamrock" and a
"round killing thingy".
B7 INTIMATE STRANGER****
Written by Steven L Sears
Directed by Gary Jones
Xena finds herself pitted against Callisto again. This time, Xena's
guilt at letting Callisto die allows Callisto to journey from the
underworld to attack Xena in dreams. Ares helps Callisto out and
finally Callisto steals Xena's body. Loose on the world, Callisto as
Xena wreaks havoc and convinces Gabrielle to kill Callisto when she
next appears. Of course, when Callisto returns, it is with Xena's soul
inside her. This is a good character building episode. After the
accident, it gave the producers a great way to keep Xena fighting as
Callisto.
B8 TEN LITTLE WARLORDS****
Written by Paul Robert Coyle
Directed by Charles Siebert
This is one of the episodes most changed because of the accident.
Hudson Leick plays Xena in Callisto's body and does a marvelous job at
it. Along with Gabrielle, she faces Ares and 10 warlords who have
stolen his godhood. Ares explains this is why he can't return her to
her body. Xena decides it's a small price to pay for the end of war.
Xena leaves the mortal Ares to his own devices, but she finds that
Gabrielle and everyone else have become belligerent and undisciplined
without the war god around.
This performance is one of the best in the Xena universe. Hudson
Leick deserves major credit for saving the show in its time of need.
B9 A SOLSTICE CAROL ***
Written by Chris Manheim
Directed by John T Kretchmer
This little tale is basically a pagan Christmas story. Swiping from
Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, Xena must save the celebration of
the winter solstice. Xena faces off with a miserly king who has
outlawed toys and celebration, while Gabrielle works with a former
toymaker-turned-accountant to bring toys to an orphanage. Xena pulls
the old 'spirit of solstices past' trick on the king and makes him see
the error of his ways. The toymaker dresses up in a red suit and long
white beard and gives out toys. The implication is that everyone has
so much fun the entire schtick is passed down to us.
B10 THE XENA SCROLLS ****
Written by Robert Sidney Mellette
Teleplay by Adam Armus and Nora Kay Foster
Directed by Charlie Haskell
This is one of the best Xena episodes ever. It isn't your standard
Xena episode, so it may not give newcomers the best sense of the
regular episodes of the show. Then again, it is a clip show with many
flashbacks to previous episodes. Mel, a southern belle played by Lucy
Lawless, teams up with adventurer Janis Covington, played by Renee
O'Connor. Janis is a female Indiana Jones, and as the mystery of the
Xena scrolls unfolds, she becomes convinced that she is the descendant
of Xena. That turns of to be Mel, of course, and together they
accidentally release Ares. Xena possesses the body of Mel and proceeds
to give Ares a very familiar butt whipping.
B11 HERE SHE COMES...MISS AMPHIBOLES ****
Written by Chris Manheim
Directed by Marina Sargenti
This isn't the all-fight Xena you may expect. This is one of the
post-accident, fight-light episodes shot while Lucy Lawless was on the
mend. Not that it hurts anything, far from it. Robert Trebor
practically steals the show as Salmoneous, and the satirical beauty
contest is played both for laughs and keeps the fate of the three
nations off balance. The episode starts off with Xena and Gabrielle
finding themselves in the midst of many fleeing scantily-clad women.
It seems the beauty contest Salmoneous has invited Xena to is in big
trouble. Xena enters the contest to find out who is trying to kill the
contestants. We get to see Xena out of her element. This episode is
heavy on gender-bending concepts, so the small of mind has to stay at
home.
B12 DESTINY **
Written by Robert Tapert
Teleplay by RJ Stewart and Steven L Sears
Directed by Robert Tapert
Mortally wounded, Xena has a prolonged flashback to her time with
Caesar 10 years before. While Gabrielle struggles to take Xena to a
healer, we learn a lot about the warrior princess. We learn when she
had time to be Caesar's lover and where she learned the 'touch' she
uses to interrogate victims. When she finally dies, she is shown
Gabrielle's thoughts and given the choice of moving on into the
afterlife or staying with Gabrielle. This is a moving, though
lackluster, episode.
B13 THE QUEST ****
Written by Chris Manheim, Steven L Sears, and RJ Stewart
Teleplay by Steven L Sears
Directed by Michael Lavine
Gabrielle tries to take Xena's body to her hometown of Amphipolis but
is stopped by a horde of amazons. The amazons convince Gabrielle to
come back, claim the crown, and roast Xena's body over a funeral pyre.
Xena, meanwhile, possesses the body of Autolycus and makes him help
her save herself. Along the way, Xena creates a wrathful goddess by
mistake. This is a funny, dramatic, adventuresome 40-minute romp and
one of the best episodes around. Bruce Campbell does a great job of
playing the possessed Autolycus. Xena and Gabrielle even get an on
screen kiss. There is a lot to like here for any Xena fan.
B14 A NECESSARY EVIL ****
Written by Paul Robert Coyle
Directed by Mark Beesley
Xena must stop the goddess created in last week's episode, and to do
it she calls in her old enemy Callisto. Callisto, wanting to take some
ambrosia off the new goddess, agrees to help, but soon changes sides.
Xena has to not only save Gabrielle but trap two gods as well. This is
one of the most action-packed episodes of the season, but Xena does
little of the actual fighting. Still on the mend, this is a
fight-light all-action episode with Callisto, not Lawless, putting in
most of the punches.
B15 A DAY IN THE LIFE ***
Written by RJ Stewart
Directed by Michael Hurst
This episode gives Xena a chance to make things up to Goliath from The
Giant Killer. Xena is forced to choose between saving two towns. One
town is threatened by a marauding army, and the other is threatened by
a marauding giant. It turns out to be the same giant that killed
Goliath's family. Using some great and sneaky tricks, Xena manages to
wipe out both the army and the giant. Michael Hurst, Hercules' Iolaus
directed this episode. His skills at comedy and timing ring true here
making this a fast and funny episode.
B16 FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS ***
Written by Adam Armus and Nora Kay Foster
Directed by Josh Becker
Aphrodite casts a spell on Joxer so he will become a hero whenever he
hears a bell ring. The downside is that he turns back into a nerd at
the chime of a bell as well. Xena is busy elsewhere leaving Gabrielle
to deal with Joxer. Joxer flip-flops from chivalrous to silly while
Gabrielle sorts out what happened. In the end, she has to trick
Aphrodite into removing the spell. Ted Raimi makes this episode with
his comic timing and slap-stick acting. Having to play a character of
two minds shows off Raimi's skills as a comic actor.
B17 THE EXECUTION **
Written by Paul Robert Coyle
Directed by Garth Maxwell
Gabrielle and Xena must stop an execution from taking place by solving
a murder. It turns out that Xena is actually the murderer and the dead
man was an assassin. In tracking down who hired the assassin, Xena
hopes to save the wrongly accused man facing the hangman's noose. This
episode is a bit on the slow side.
B18 BLIND FAITH ***
Written by Adam Armus and Nora Kay Foster
Directed by Josh Becker
Gabrielle is kidnapped while shopping, and Xena goes into a blind rage
to get her back. Unfortunately, Xena is really blinded before she gets
the job done. It becomes a race against time to save Gabrielle and
restore Xena's eyesight. Gabrielle narrowly misses another chance to
become the ruler of a kingdom, and we watch while bad guy Palaemon
makes a very familiar journey. Played by Jeremy Callaghan, Palaemon's
character mirrors that of Xena. In the end, he even becomes good in a
scene very reminiscent of Xena's early Hercules appearances.
B19 ULYSSES ***
Written by RJ Stewart
Directed by Michael Levine
Xena and Gabrielle are just walking on the beach when they come across
a lone man fighting pirates. It turns out that the lone man is
Ulysses. The Water god Poseidon rises from the depths to tell Xena to
stay out of the situation, but Xena refuses. She, Ulysses, and
Gabrielle get Ulysses' ship back and they set off to see if he can
find Penelope, his wife. In the end, Xena falls in love with him but
helps him get his wife back anyway. The sudden romance between Ulysses
and Xena is a little hard to buy, especially if you take the subtext
between Gabrielle and Xena into account.
B20 THE PRICE ****
Written by Steven L Sears
Directed by Oley Sassone
When Xena and Gabrielle find themselves in an Athenian fort under
siege by The Horde, they must make sacrifices to survive. Xena returns
to the battle-hungry villainy of her days as an evil warlord.
Gabrielle is shocked by the change and urges Xena not to give up her
humanity. This episode is one of the most powerful and action-oriented
of the season. In a single episode, the paths of Xena and Gabrielle
are laid out and the overall story arc of Xena revealed.
B21 LOST MARINER ***
Written by Steven L Sears
Directed by Garth Maxwell
This episode is short on sword fights but big on nautical action and
ships. After a shipwreck, Xena and Gabrielle end up on a ship being
piloted by Cecrops. Cecrops has been cursed by Poseidon and must
remain on the ship forever and now so must Xena and Gabrielle. The
only way he can leave the ship is through love.
As hokey as that sounds, the episode is actually quite good with lots
of great special effects and swashbuckling adventure.
B22 A COMEDY OF EROS ****
Written by Chris Manheim
Directed by Charles Siebert
If you are looking for some good, not-so-clean fun, then this is your
episode. Cupid's child Bliss gets loose with daddy's arrows and
everything is thrown asunder. Xena falls for the bad guy, the bad guy
falls for Gabrielle, and Gabrielle falls for Joxer. This last one
clues Xena into the fact that something's not right. Don't look for
Xena seriousness here. From the moment townspeople start chasing cows,
you know it is going to be comedy. Go with it. After such a trying
season both on the screen and behind the scenes, who could blame Xena
and company for having fun?
