Disclaimers. This is a work of a sick puppy. Please do not read if you are at all upset by abuse.
The characters of Xena, Gabrielle, and Eve are not my property.
My thanks to the members of the Ex-Guards, and T.S. Chandler for their suggestions and support.
Feedback is always welcomed at Kamouraskan@yahoo.com
The WriterThe poor little girl. Needing it so very much. Not knowing what ‘it’ was until I told her. Until I showed her.
So confused at first. Just a suggestion at the beginning, just a seed planted. Then there was a young girl’s curiosity, which led to discovery. Then at last, the needing. Compulsion, the sweetest of obsessions. Something we share. She was so pathetically frightened at first of the pain, but soon that was needed as well.
I can look, touch and trace the knife scars and burns that were reminders for her of the contrasts in ecstacy found by obeying me. Then there are the newer wounds that she inflicted on herself without me even asking. She learned so quickly. But it is all so easy when you have experience at teaching.At instructing.
If only it could have been enough for me. But just as she soon needed to prove her loyalty, her obedience, I needed more fear, more sweat. More blood. I can still taste the exhilaration from feeling the shock that ran through her entire body when she realized I wasn’t going to stop this time. That the blade would actually pierce her through. Deeper than ever before. That I was ready to take the life she had so eagerly offered me. Foolish child. How could I resist such a gift? How could I resist the taste of her sweat and fear as it transformed to terror? A taste I have found myself developing lately. Craving, really. She is not the first, or the last.
In death, her skin is so pale, so unlike Xena’s. My teacher.
Xena’s love is always tempered by moments of violent abuse and abandonment. But I think she might actually love me, you know? The real me, not the one that she thinks she knows. I wonder if she believes she truly knows my heart?
But then there is my rival for the Warrior Princess. What to do with her? The one Xena thinks is so pure. The one she would do anything to protect. How much I would like to find HER dark soul and twist it, drag it even further. Take it into seclusion and teach her the games I have learned. Would she like it? There is one way to find out...
"Eve?" Gabrielle’s voice pulled Xena’s daughter out of her haze. Her hand gripped the quill and she looked at the scroll in her hands. Gabrielle stood staring at her curiously. "Everything’s packed, we’re just waiting for you. You okay?"
Eve looked down at the parchment. "Umm, I..."
"I’m sorry, honey. Did I interrupt you? If you’re writing something, we can always wait a bit. .."
"No." Eve swallowed. "I was thinking..." She hesitated. "I’ve been thinking about what you both said, about the group of Eli’s just over that ridge. You’re right. I should be studying, learning more. Traveling with you is taking me away from what I’m supposed to be doing."
Gabrielle’s face broke into a wistful smile "That’s great, hon. You know we’ll miss you. But we both think that this is what’s right. You have to discover what your own path is, all by yourself. When you’re sure what you have to do, you know we’ll be there."
Eve looked across to where her mother stood beside her mount, and swallowed, refusing to look into Gabrielle’s eyes. "I think it’s for the best right now," and she moved away to pack up her kit.
"What was that about?" Xena asked her partner while her eyes trailed after her daughter. She was still uncertain how to handle this strange person that was so much like her, and not at the same time. Thank Ares she still had Gabrielle to handle the sensitive chats.
Gabrielle rolled the scroll up and carefully placed it with the others. "It’s decided. She’s going to join the colony for a while. We can give her an escort, maybe stay a while until she gets settled."
There was surprise on the face of the warrior. "What changed her mind?"
"I think she read one of the scrolls I left out, and it gave her something to think about," the younger woman said nonchalantly
Xena waited until her partner looked up. "Oh?"
It was only an arched brow, but Gabrielle had learned to read that face well. She looked to the scroll she had secreted away. "It wasn’t anything special. Just a character study. Some of the people we’ve fought, the way they see the world ...I was trying to understand by exploring that. I think I I left it lying out, because I thought...some of the things she’s been through..." Xena waited while the blonde stared off to the horizon before her eyes returned to look at her. She was surprised to see a odd smirk on the smaller woman’s face. "I think it shocked her." The warrior was further surprised when a very possesive arm pulled her into an embrace.
Tightening her grip, Gabrielle looked down onto the campsite and mused, "I don’t think that Eve realizes what a writer has to know sometimes."