By Murphy

Disclaimer: This is just a quick piece of fluff. Alt. Thanks to my beta team. Becky Lovall, Sam Ruskin and LJ Maas. Big Thanks to Kristien Damon (a.k.a. Lawlsfan) http://www.aschweb.com/xenaeyes/fan-fiction/fiction.html She made some cute changes. Ex-Guards!! Love ya! Deb! Love Ya! Another big thanks to Cindy (ForevaXena) for checking it over again! On with the fluff show!


I am a warrior, known to all to have the libido of twenty men! And suddenly, I find myself brought down by one teeny-weeny baby. Gods help me! Here I am, on what was to be a romantic night with my wife, but Eve had other plans.

I had it all planned out. It’s been three months, three lon-n-n-n-g, grueling months since Gabrielle has touched me. She wants to make sure I heal. Well okay, why didn't she just tie my sex in a knot? I just stand there, grind my teeth, and swell. It is getting to a point now where I no longer have the comfort of a cool lake to calm my urges. Gods! I am so swollen I float!

Lately I’ve found that even a wedgie turns me on. In fact, I am grateful for one, it’s a cheap thrill, and Gods I am so desperate. Watching Gabrielle ride her horse is sheer torture. Gulp. The up and down motion, her thighs, the outfit -- ohhhhhhhh! I fainted one time. Yep, fell right off of Argo! Thank the Gods Gabrielle was holding Eve at the time.

I picked a beautiful grassy area by the waterfall for the night I had planned. The way the moon danced off the water, well let’s just say that it would please the wife to no end. She likes these romantic settings. I even bought some fancy food that Gabrielle likes: some wine, and of course, fresh nutbread. A sure score for the Warrior. Right!

The plan was to have a nice evening, eat, talk, tire Eve out, and then get me some bard. But, I swear, that child. If I didn’t know better, I'd say she did this on purpose. Every time we started, she cried, and cried and cried. I lay in the bedroll, swollen, and sighed.

Of course, another reason I felt she was doing it on purpose was the timing. Each time she cried, I was so close to relief. Ahh Warrior, just what are you thinking? She’s only a three-month-old baby for Zeus’ sake. How could she possibly know enough to squawk at the most inopportune moments? Yep I know better, it’s just not possible. I glance down at my daughter suspiciously for just an instant. Could she…? Nah.

Looking down at my wife and sweet daughter sleeping I quickly make a decision. We are going to see my mother in Amphipolis. I am a warrior, I am strong, and I will make it through this. We’ll just ride like Tartarus and when we get there, make that as soon as we get there, Mom can take care of the baby for a while. Then, you will be mine bard. Ah yes, relief shall be mine.

Finally content in that final thought, I lay down next to my wife and child, whispering softly to both, "I love and I am very lucky to have you. Night Gabrielle." I place a soft kiss on her lips. "Night my sweet Eve." I place a soft kiss on my daughter’s forehead. Then finally, I let Morpheus take me with thoughts of ice cold… Nah, that’s not quite working. Counting sheep? Argh! That’s not helping either. I toss and turn a bit before it finally hits me -- Joxer naked! Yep that worked. No longer swollen. I think with that last thought it sucked in a hide. Ahh, sleep at last.

As the sound of gentle breathing settles over the campsite, and unknown to her sleeping parents, the little bundle nestled next to them opens her eyes.

"Sweet, my diaper!" Eve smirks and a gummy smile spreads across her tiny face. She looks over to her taller Mom. "Being I'm part Callisto and part Warrior Princess, you would think she'd know better. Ha! Think you are going to drop me on Grandma? We shall see, warrior Mom, we shall see." And as her mother begins to snore ever so softly with a hint of a smile on her sleeping face, her little bundle of joy giggles and contentedly goes back to sleep.

The End! Thank God!



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