Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story are copyrighted by Renaissance Pictures and Universal Studios. I’m just borrowing them for a brief moment.

There is no violence -- well apart from someone getting dropped into some water, but they seemed to enjoy it anyway, and no graphic sex. Pretty dull, huh?

It's set sometime towards the end of the 5th season but before 'Motherhood'.


By Mark Annetts

Ares sat on his throne, staring into the flickering flames of the fire in the great hearth that ran for most of one wall in his study. Not that the God of War needed anything as mundane as warmth, but he liked the effect of the dancing lights.

The contents of the half filled ornate goblet in his hand swirled restlessly as he absent-mindedly rotated his wrist. He closed his eyes and allowed his head to loll back onto the padded backrest of his throne. Opening his eyes he sighed and closed them again, lost in his own thoughts.

The large door to the room opened and in swept the woman of his dreams. She smiled and walked over to the seated god.

"Ares, what troubles you my darling?" she said, leaning down and gently kissing his forehead. He grinned back at her.

"Nothing, my love, now that you’re back. Did you enjoy your hunt?"

The woman’s face broke into a feral grin. "Oh yes, I swear those boars of yours are getting more and more resourceful in their attempts to evade my arrows." She chuckled, a deep sound that came from somewhere in the depths of her large frame. He felt a shiver of lust and love race up his spine, making his scalp tingle. Gods, this woman was so dangerous to his soul.

"C’mere," he growled, pulling her into his lap. She laughed out loud, flashing brilliant white teeth and a smile that melted his heart.

"But I need to get all this pig’s blood off me first!" she said, in between more peels of laughter as he squeezed and tickled her.

"Oh, no, you don’t," he said, standing up effortlessly, carrying the weight of the woman as if she were a feather. She kicked and struggled, giggling, but not enough to bother either of them, as he headed for the door that lead to the bedroom.

He pushed open the door and threw her to the middle of the huge bed.

"Hey, watch it, you’ll spill my ink!" the indignant blonde seated on one edge of the bed exclaimed.

Ares grinned at her scowling face as she grabbed for her scrolls that were bouncing and rolling away after her friend had crashed down next to her so unexpectedly.

"I should have known that the sight of all that blood and sweat on our beloved warrior here would get you all frisky," she sighed loudly.

"Ah, Gabrielle, my dear wife, you know us both so well," laughed Ares.

"Xena, I’d expect better from you," the bard grimaced. The tall woman that had recently landed next to her merely shrugged and grinned.

"Aw, c’mon, Gabs, don’t be like that. You know what I’m like after a battle, or a good hunt. I have certain... needs."

"Yeah, well, don’t expect me to join in this time. I’ll wait till you’ve both worked off all that excess energy, and then you can both come and join me in the pool." With that she climbed from the bed, displaying her most regal posture as befits an Amazon Queen, carefully placing her scrolls and writing equipment on the night table next to her side of the vast bed. Without looking back, her nose haughtily raised, she imperiously swept from the room and into the adjacent bathing room.

"And don’t be too long, I have no wish to get all wrinkled up in the water while I wait for you two to get over your silly bloodlusts," she said, as she closed the door.

Ares shook his head and grinned. "You know, Xena, my beloved, we could always postpone this and go and join our wife and spend a happy hour washing behind each other’s ears."

Xena snorted. "Yeah, I guess we could at that. Besides if we don’t we’ll never hear the end of it," she said, flashing another of her wonderful smiles.

Ares breathed in deeply, his heart swelling from the love that errupted within. ‘Gods, but I love these two women,’ he thought. He put his hand out to offer a lift to the warrior still splayed out invitingly on the bed. She grinned, and without any apparent effort brought both of her shapely legs up over her head and then in a blur thrust forward into a roll, launching herself from the bed to land cat-like next to the God.

"Show off!"


"Am not!"

"Am too," she said, ducking down and jabbing him in the stomach then darting backward out of his reach, giggling as she backed away.

Ares grimaced for a moment then holding out his hand he gripped it into a fist and slowly brought it to his chest. Xena felt the unseen magical force grip her leather tunic and lift her off the floor. She floated towards the god, knowing that to struggle would be pointless.

"Cheat," she said softly, as she hooked her long muscular legs around his waist and her strong arms around his ample shoulders. Their lips connected and they kissed a long and tender kiss, his broad arms gently cradling her to him. He carried her to the bathing room still locked in the passionate embrace.

"When you two have finished devouring each other, perhaps you’d care to join me," the bard said, her quiet authority breaking through their mounting lust. They broke apart and smiled at their mutual wife.

"As my Queen commands," said Xena, bowing her head in mock solemnity. Ares just growled and casually tossed the warrior, still fully clothed, into the deep bath. At over thirty paces long, ten paces wide, and deeper in parts than the Warrior Princess herself, it was more a swimming pool than a simple bathing tub. The God of War didn’t do things by half.

Xena spluttered as she broke the water’s surface, shaking her raven hair from her face. Standing up she began to remove her sodden leathers. Ares laughed out loud at her scowl and Gabrielle giggled at Xena predicament.

"What’s the matter Xena, afraid of a little water... afraid all the blood will wash off?"

"Don’t you start," Xena said, whirling on her soulmate. Gabrielle’s eyes went wide as she recognised the predatory look in Xena’s dark blue eyes. With a squeal of mock terror she dived under the surface and swam strongly away, keen to put some distance between herself and the rampant warrior.

"Coward!" Xena shouted at the bard’s fast receding form. Gabrielle stopped and resurfaced, but only long enough to throw a waterlogged sponge at the warrior, who was now treading water trying to remove sodden leather boots. With a casual slight move of her head the sponge sailed past the warrior and hit the God Of War on the foot, as he stood happily watching his two wives frolic in the heated waters.

Gabrielle gasped at her error, the colour draining from her face. Even Xena stopped what she was doing and turned to see how the god would respond. Ares looked at his wet foot for a long moment and sighed. Xena grinned maliciously looking back at Gabrielle.

"Ooops, looks like someone’s just made a big mistake, Shorty" she chuckled evilly.

"Ares... husband, now we both know that was an accident," Gabrielle pleaded. Ares put both fists on his hips and glared at the panicking bard, his face a mask of thunder. But inside he was overwhelmed with desire and love to be a part of this glorious family and was inwardly laughing to himself.

"I’m afraid that a certain blonde wife of mine is going to have to learn some respect for her husband," he said in a deep, threatening rumble. He pointed his left hand at the bard and twisting it into a clenched fist, raising it slightly. The bard yelped as she felt a force grip her and lift her clear of the surface of the pool, droplets of water cascading down off her naked, toned body.

With his other hand he pointed at the sponge at his feet then flicked his fingers to point at the suspended, wriggling woman. The sponge flew across the pool and smacked wetly into the bard’s forehead. She spluttered and shook her head, shaking the water from her face. With a laugh Ares open his fist and the bard shrieked as she dropped noisily back into the water with a loud splash. As she came up for air cursing and swearing at her husband, she failed to notice the shark like shadow swooping down fast upon her.

Xena erupted from underneath to grab the unsuspecting bard by the waist and hoist her fully up out of the water and into the air, launching her towards where a now naked Ares was descending into the water. Being quick of mind and superbly athletic, she instinctively coiled and crashed back down to the water in a tuck, sending a huge wave of water over the god, drenching him completely.

As her feet touched the bottom of the pool she launched back up and away from the spluttering god, shrieking with laughter and triumph as she swam. Ares bellowed an ancient war cry and launched himself after her.

All three met at the deep end and entwined into a sinewy mass of arms and legs, as they tumbled and swirled in happily abandoned, loving play.

* * *

Later, all passions spent, they relaxed seated in the shallower part of the pool, their heads leaning against the cushioned side, their bodies gently floating in the constantly warmed water, all three luxuriating in the afterglow.

Ares closed his eyes and languorously replayed the past hour’s pleasures over in his mind. It had been glorious.

He was stirred from her reveries by a gentle hand on his knee. He blinked in surprise and confusion.

"Ares," the soft voice said. "Come on, Bro, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’re a god, you have duties and responsibilities, and you’re neglecting them."

Ares scowled as his sister, Aphrodite.

"Leave me be, Sis!" he grimaced, barely controlling his anger.

"Damn it, Ares, this mind tripping has got to stop, it’s not doing you any good at all," she said gently, a look of pain and sad understanding in her eyes. Ares said nothing, his mind numb at the shattering of his sacred dream.

"Why, ‘Dite, why?" he mumbled. "Why can’t I have the thing I most desire?"

Aphrodite shook her head, a sad smile on her perfect lips. "Even gods have their limitations, I guess." She stood up and patted him on the shoulder. "You going to be all right?"

"Yeah," he said sullenly, just wishing she would leave him to his own inner torments.

She smiled sadly again. "Take care, Bro," and with a wave of her arm disappeared in a shower of golden sparks.

Ares finished the last of his wine in one quick gulp and stared into the flames of the roaring fire once more. He looked through the open door towards the empty bed and sighed. The aching loneliness poured into his soul anew. As he closed his eyes a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Oh, Xena," he quietly moaned, but no one else was there to hear it.

The End



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