"Hey, Scully, look at this," Mulder opened the lone file on the computer disc. They sat in front of his computer terminal in the den of Mulder's apartment. The disc had been sent to him anonymously and like a cat, his curiosity got the better of him. "What do you think of these letters mean?"
There was an icon with the letters XWP inside a circle. The "X" was above "WP" and in much larger print.
"Is this why this is an X-File, Mulder?" Scully deadpanned.
"Ha. Ha." Mulder responded not taking his eyes away from the screen.
"X.W.P." Scully read each letter out loud. "What time period is this supposed to be?"
Mulder had been told only that this file was supposed to be some ancient time period and that it was related to time travel. "I'm not sure, I think somewhere between 10,000 BC and 1 A.D. Ancient Greece."
Scully turned away from the screen and looked at him sideways. "You mean between Moses and Jesus?" Scully queried sarcastically. "Well, that really narrows it down, doesn't it?"
Mulder iqnored her sarcasm. "What's so fascinating about it is there have been reports that two people who have opened these files disappeared. One came back and reported being in Ancient Greece with the Amazons." He shrugged, "The other one? Who knows?"
Scully rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Aren't the Amazons just a myth? There's never been any real proof that they ever really existed."
"Yeah, I know, but I'm serious, though. Where's my notes?" He rummaged through his pockets. "Hold on a sec, they must be in the other room. I did some research and we might be able to pinpoint the exact time period."
Mulder hurried off to the bedroom.
Scully clicked on the icon, XWP. The title expanded on the screen.
The graphics read: Xena, Warrior, Princess. "What's the hell's that supposed to mean?" she muttered to herself. "Hmmm, a warrior princess, sounds like a walking contradiction to me."
Scully clicked again onto a smaller icon that depicted a horse marked "ARGO". She read the title at the top of the page, "The Legendary Journals of Gabrielle, Travelling Companion and Special Friend of Xena, the Warrior Princess". Scully laughed out loud and scrolled down the screen, her curiosity piqued. There was yet another icon at the bottom of the page. The letters "XG" were contained within a black triangle. She double clicked on it. A bright yellow light radiated from the screen, blinding Scully temporarily and causing her to leap up from her seat.
"Mulder!" she screamed just before she disappeared from the room.
"Xena!" Gabrielle screamed as she appeared in Mulder's den. Her eyes darted suspiciously around the unfamiliar surroundings as she readied her staff for any signs of danger.
Mulder came running into the room.
Before he could ask if she was OK, his stomach was hammered by a blunt stick and his feet were knocked out from underneath him. He landed on his back and looked up at a blondish redhead who had a stick lodged in his throat.
"Where's Xena?!" demanded Gabrielle. Puzzled, her eyes widened,"Who in Hades are you?"
"Mulder!" Dana drew her gun out of automatic reflex from years of FBI training. She whirled around furtively scanning for any signs of danger. She was in a deep forest with lush bright, green trees.
She heard a high screeching sound but before she could determine its origin, her gun had been snatched out of her hand by a round metal object.
"AIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!!!!!!" An athletic woman scantily clad in leather and armoured gear catapulted seemingly out of nowhere and knocked Dana down from behind. She rolled her over and pinned her down at the waist. Two fingers leapt at Dana's neck causing her to gasp desperately for air. Her lungs nearly collapsed in an effort to suck in oxygen.
"Just so you know, I've just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You'll be dead in seconds if you don't tell me where Gabrielle is!" Dana saw the woman was dead serious.
"I don't know any Gabrielle, I swear!" she wheezed as dark spots began to blur her vision.
"She was over by that tree! I heard her scream! Now where *is* she?!" Xena demanded, her face just inches from Dana's.
"I swear! I swear! I don't know any Gabrielle!" Dana cried helplessly.
Xena finally believed her and released the blocked vein. Gabrielle could take this strange woman with two whacks of her staff, she decided. Dana rolled over coughing and gulping for air.
"Who's Mulder?" Xena stood up, her tall muscular body towered over Dana. She withdrew her sword and aimed it directly at the prone woman. Her crystal blue eyes were cold as the deep sea waters.
"What?" Dana was still disoriented. "Oh, he's my partner. We're with the F.B.I." her breathing gradually returned to normal as she inhaled deep long breaths.
"The what?" Xena recognised that this unusual woman was not a threat. She returned her sword to its sheath and gazed out at the weapon she had knocked out of the stranger's hand. She wandered over and picked it out of the underbrush, dangling it by its handle.
"What kind of weapon is this?" she questioned and then whipped it expertly at a large tree in the distance. A bullet discharged upon impact. Dana buried her head under her arms fearful of getting hit. Xena caught the returning weapon nonchalantly, obviously unafraid and oblivious to the danger of a bullet. Dana was aghast. This woman had never seen a gun before?
Dana jumped up and yanked the gun from a surprised Xena. She quickly secured the safety catch and shoved it into her holster.
"This is not a BOOMERANG!" she shouted and stormed over to the nearest tree. She sat down heavily. Dorothy, we're not in Kansas anymore, she whined to herself.
"A what?" Xena smirked and raised an eyebrow. Maybe this woman has some spunk after all, she mused.
"Well, what is it then?" Xena demanded.
"It's a gun. Look." Dana withdrew the gun to show Xena. "A little tiny metal object comes out of this tubular thing at lightening speed and lodges itself into its target." She was clearly irritated and annoyed. "If it hits a person, it could KILL you. Which, by the way, you almost did when you hurled it at that tree!" she was more angry now than scared of this leather brute.
She had Xena's attention now. "So it's like a slingshot. I bet it's not faster than my chakram," Xena challenged.
"Yeah, sort of," Dana replied. "Your what?"
"My chakram," Xena unhitched her chakram and readied it with her hand.
"I bet you it *is* faster!" Dana felt compelled to defend herweapon.
"Is NOT!" Xena wanted to test it. "Go ahead, use that black killing thing on that tree. I bet my chakram will pass it!"
"All right!," Dana released the safety catch and stood up in a proper FBI stance, with both hands on the gun and her feet spread apart firmly planted on the ground, she aimed at the faraway tree.
"OK! Go!" The bullet and chakram were released at exactly the same moment.
Xena snatched the returning chakram in mid-air and held it up to the blue sky.
"See! I told you!" Xena and Dana both spied a small hole where the bullet struck and passed through. Xena re-hitched the chakram in her leather belt, proud that her unique weapon was still the best in the land.
"So, what's your name, strange woman with a strange weapon?" Xena eyed her strange clothing.
"Scull - ly?, what kind of a name is that?"
"Uh, Dana, my name's Dana."
"Well, let's go, Dana, I got to go find out where Gabrielle went." Xena started walking toward Argo. She examined the mad woman's clothes again.
"So what's your name?" Dana almost didn't want to know.
"My name's Xena."
"Xena, Warrior, Princess?" Dana was dumbfounded that it hadn't occurred to her earlier. Of course! X.W.P. Just like in the computer file! She took in the Amazon Princess's full image. Her armour, her leather, her muscles, her sword, her stature. "You really existed? Isn't that title a bit of an oxymoron? I mean..." She stopped in mid-sentence realising that this Warrior Princess didn't have a sense of humour. She stifled a grin.
Xena glared at her.
"You won't be able to ride Argo in those. Too tight and confining," Xena observed. And before Dana could move to prevent it, Xena withdrew her sword and quick as lightening cut off the fabric she deemed unnecessary. From Dana's business suit, she was left with a sleeveless button-down midriff shirt and short shorts. Mercifully, her exposed automatic weapon gave her some comfort. She retrieved her notepad from her demolished jacket as well. Then she climbed aboard Argo behind Xena without complaint. This was a dream anyway, wasn't it?
"Mulder? What kind of a name is that?"
"Call me Fox. My friends call me Fox." Mulder was intrigued by the woman before him. She was obviously not from here, 1997. But where? And what happened to Scully?
"Uh, huh. Fox? Your friends named you after the animal?"
They searched the surrounding area for Gabrielle and found no clues whatsoever. The rains came hard and they were forced to retreat to a nearby cave for the night. Dana feared the woman warrior wouldn't be able to get them back to the exact spot where Dana initially appeared. She was convinced that it had to be some sort of inter-dimensional entry way. A time portal, if you will. Spooky, just like Mulder. Damn him, why was he always so curious about the weirdest things? Different scenarios played out in her head as to how exactly she would tell the Amazon woman the truth.
They sat beside the camp fire. Xena sharpened her sword as Dana scribbled on her
Scully Status Report
Date - Unknown
Place - Unknown
Travelling Companion - Allegedly Xena Warrior Princess (AmazonWoman?)
Computer disc arrived in Agent Mulder's mail from an anonymous source. Browsed through the only file on the disc named "XWP" (Xena Warrior Princess). I seem to be transported in time to her era (time and place unknown, Greece?). She appears to be a member of a tribe that was mythologically referred to as the Amazons. According to Mulder, she lived somewhere between 10,000 BC to 1 AD i.e. "Moses and Jesus".
Subject has above average abilities to defy gravity (contorting back flips) and is capable of throwing weapons (namely her shockram(sp?), a steel "Frisbee" like weapon with a hole in the middle) at unbelievable speeds i.e. "faster than a speeding bullet". Ancient weapon is believed to have Eastern origins although it is unclear how this Greek woman would have acquired such a weapon from such a great distance. Subject's abilities are of an unknown origin (supernatural?).
Subject is also capable of blocking flow of blood to brain cells producing a lack of oxygen, thereby causing her victims certain death if information is not granted within an undetermined number of seconds. I experienced this technique first hand and was close to losing consciousness when the pressure was alleviated and the flow of oxygen again resumed its passage
"Hey, what are you writing?" Xena got up and put away her sword. She walked around to the side of the scribbling woman. She thought of Gabrielle and how much she missed her. Somehow the talkative bard soothed her. But the muted silence from this woman unnerved her. What in Zeus' name was she writing about, anyway?
"Nothing," Dana answered and continued writing on her standard FBI issue notepad.
Xena peered down over her shoulder and read out loud, "Subject is also capable of blocking flow of blood to brain cells producing a lack of ox...."
"What kind of a bard's tale is that? It sounds like a report to the Queen."
Dana quickly covered up the notepad. "It's not a report to the Queen." She was being truthful when she said that. "It's just how I remember things, that's all. Like a diary." Well, not exactly the truth.
"Really, like what? I know how you bards are, always writing about something. Gabrielle let me read her journals all the time. Well, at least the ones she wanted me to read."
"Well, I'm sorry, I can't let you read this," Dana replied. She hadn't the foggiest idea how she would explain the predicament they were in to Xena. Should she tell her she was from between 2 to 10 thousand years in the future? She didn't think so.
"OK," Xena gave up realising that the peculiar bard wasn't going to read any of her stories to her. "Well, you're an awfully quiet person for a bard. I'm used to Gabrielle talking all the time." Until I tell her to be quiet, that is, she laughed to herself. Xena unfurled her bedroll and prepared a makeshift bed for the night.
Dana put away her notepad, suddenly overcome with exhaustion.
"Xena, do you have an extra blanket I could use? What about Gabrielle's sleeping bag?" Dana stared down at the blanket Xena was arranging for sleep. It hardly seemed like it would wrap around one person, let alone two.
"Well, actually Gabrielle had her own but she lost it." Dana looked at Xena expectantly.
"Never mind, it's a long story. Sorry, Dana, this is it. We'll have to sleep under the same blanket. That's what me and Gabrielle always do, anyway."
"Alright." Dana sighed, not quite sure how close this Xena and Gabrielle were.
Mulder fixed himself and his guest some hot tea. He managed to convince Gabrielle that he meant her no harm but that something bizarre was going on. He briefly explained to her about the "file" without showing her the computer or revealing exactly what time period they were in. They sat on his living room couch while she told unbelievable tales about her adventures with Xena.
".....and then another time Xena and I found some Ambrosia, you know, the food of the Gods. Did I tell you about that time? You know, we could have eaten it but Xena....."
"You say your name is Gabrielle?" Mulder had patiently waited for an opening to get a word in edgewise. The talkative woman rarely took a moment to breathe.
"Yes, that's right."
"Do your friends ever call you 'Gabby'?
"No, why would they?" Gabrielle paused, then laughed. "Oh, I get it! Do you have anything to eat, Fox?"
Xena scooped up Gabrielle in her arms and carried her out of the water. Gabrielle's arms were tightly wrapped around her neck as she playfully licked at the water droplets that dribbled down Xena's face.
"Ooh, Xena, my Warrior Princess, you're *so* strong!" Gabrielle teased.
Xena beamed and it took all of her enormous self-control not to drop Gabrielle right then and there in the shallow waters and bury her face between the girl's legs. The blanket onshore seem to float from miles away.
Finally they reach the blanket and she laid her beloved down. Her mouth smothered Gabrielle's and one strong thigh spread her legs.
Gabrielle slid her mound against Xena's thigh. It was slick and sticky from an equal mixture of her own juices and the water.
Xena licked Gabrielle's ear, "Gabrielle, I bet you're not just wet from the water out there. Hmmmmmm," she murmured.
"Hmmmmm, Gabrielle. It's time to get up." Xena nuzzled Gabrielle's ear. Her eyes were still closed against day break and she began to lightly kiss the side of Gabrielle's face. She moved her lips down to nip the flesh of her ear lobe. She wrapped her long arms more tightly around the smaller woman's body. Gabrielle was a deep sleeper and sometimes Xena had to do more than nibble her ear to awaken her.
Dana slowly awakened to Xena's gentle kisses on the side of her face. Xena's strong warrior body pressed against Dana's back, her arms securely wrapped around her waist. The hairs on the back of Dana's neck stood on end as her body was unaccustomed to such sensual attention. It would have made a pleasant dream, however, she was fully awake.
"Uh, Xena?" she started, she turned her head slightly.
"Hmmm?" Xena still wasn't paying attention, her eyes closed.
"Sorry, I don't think I am who...." Dana didn't get to finish the sentence.
Xena jerked her head up and leaped up from the blanket.
"Sorry," was all she said before she turned away, scooped up her leather gear and raced out of the cave.
When Xena returned, she was fully dressed. Dana sat near the fire pit with the blanket wrapped around her. What was left of her clothes didn't exactly keep her warm. Xena began packing their belongings and concentrated on getting Argo ready. She carefully avoided looking directly at Dana.
"I'm sorry. I was half asleep and I thought....well, you know." She couldn't finish the sentence.
"It's okay. I'm not offended. I'm flattered, actually," a half smile played on Dana's lips.
Xena turned around, "You know, Gabrielle has red hair too." She frowned, "Damn, I wish I knew where she was."
"Listen, we have to talk." Xena and Dana stopped momentarily to refresh Argo with some water and refill their own supply. They both dismounted the friendly horse.
Dana eyed the warrior nervously. She knew she couldn't hold back vital information from Xena much longer.
"Where did you come from?" Xena inquired.
"You won't believe me if I told you."
"Try me. I'm sure Gabrielle's disappearance has something to do with your being here." Her stone like expression masked the ache in her heart that Gabrielle might be in serious trouble. Ares better not have harmed her.
"Tell me, what was the last thing Gabrielle was doing before she disappeared?"
"We had stopped for a moment for something to eat and she went over to a tree. She was about to unpack when she said, 'Xena, look at this.' I heard her read some letters, X.G. Does that mean anything?"
"Maybe. Do you think you could find that exact same tree?" Dana questioned.
"Of course," Xena said impatiently, "What do you think happened?"
"I'm positive we have to go back there right now."
"Ummm," Xena bit her lip trying not to laugh. What a word,'positive'. This woman read way too many scrolls. Out loud she asked, "What's your theory?"
"This is hard for me to say..." Dana continued to stall.
"Just say it!" Xena clenched her teeth, her patience was being severely tested by this exasperating woman.
Dana sighed. "OK. I came through that tree from another dimension."
Xena straighten her back and rolled her eyes obviously having a hard time believing the odd woman's increasingly fantastic story.
Dana continued nevertheless. "I came from what you would call the future. I think 2,000 to 10,000 YEARS," she paused for effect, "in the future. 1997 to be exact."
"YEARS?" who could make up this bard's tale if it weren't true? Xena wondered. She paid closer attention as everything started to make an inkling of sense. Some God or Goddess could have put Dana up to this.
"Yes, but my partner, Mulder, and I didn't know the exact time or place. That's what we were investigating when I was yanked back here into this time. To this place. Do you know what year this is?"
"No, not really. Gabrielle was the one who kept track of all that bardic stuff."
"OK, but we still have to get back to that tree for me to return to my time and place and for Gabrielle to get back here. I'm convinced it's a doorway through dimensions or something. It's the only thing that makes any logical sense."
"Well, I guess if Callisto can come and go as she pleases from Hades, anything's possible." Xena secured the water packs and mounted Argo, hoisting up Dana behind her.
"Who?" Dana asked. "Hades?"
"Never mind, it's a long story," Xena replied and nudged Argo into a galloping trot.
They approached the tree with trepidation. Argo nervously paced even though she was tethered loosely to another tree from a safe enough distance.
With both hands, Dana carefully groped the tree's bark surface for an opening between time and space. She spied a tiny black triangle with the letters "XG" in the middle. "Here it is!" she exclaimed. Her left hand sunk in at the exact spot and disappeared. She pulled it back quickly.
Dana turned to the tall warrior woman. "This must be it, the doorway," she reached out her hand to Xena. "Well, I...it's been a..." her face blushed to match the colour of her hair. "I can't say it's exactly been a pleasure, you did try to kill me, you know," she teased. She tilted her head to one side to reveal red marks the size of two finger tips on her neck.
Xena almost smiled, "I thought you had harmed Gabrielle and well, you know, I get kind of....hyper about that."
She gripped Dana's forearm in the standard warrior hand shake. Her voice softened, "Promise me you'll send my Gabrielle back to me safe and sound," Xena enveloped the FBI agent's small hand in her two strong hands. "She's everything to me," Xena concealed her terror behind a thin smile. What if Dana left but Gabrielle didn't come back to her? She forcefully pushed this possibility out of her mind.
"I promise." Dana surveyed the lush countryside one last time. She suddenly felt a sense of sadness at leaving this place and time where computers and cell phones and forensics didn't exist. She stretched up on her tip toes to kiss the armoured woman on the cheek. "Take good care of yourself and Gabrielle when she gets back," she whispered, giving Xena a quick hug.
Dana paused before turning around to see the Amazonian dark-haired beauty one last time. She waved to Xena, steeled herself against the unknown and seamlessly disappeared into the tree.
Scully materialised back in Mulder's den.
"Mulder?!" she called out. She started for the living room when she was hammered by a blunt stick to her stomach and her feet were knocked out from under her. She landed on her back and gazed up at a blondish redhead who had a stick lodged in her throat.
"Who in Hades are you?!" demanded Gabrielle.
"You're Gabrielle, I presume. Xena says hello," Scully raised both palms to show she was unarmed.
Mulder came racing into the room, "Scully! What happened to your clothes?"
"Let's just say I ran into Edward Scissorhands disguised as an Amazon Warrior."
Gabrielle jerked her head in Mulder's direction, "Scull - ly? What kind of a name is that?"
"Can I get up?" Scully asked Gabrielle, "I have a message from Xena."
"You know Xena?" Gabrielle was confused.
"I met her. She misses you very much," Scully turned beet red remembering exactly how much Xena really did miss her special friend. Gabrielle allowed Scully to stand.
"We figured out what happened and how to get you back...," she paused not at all knowing how much Mulder had conceded, "to....,um,where she is."
Xena patiently waited with Argo. It seemed an eternity since Dana entered the "tree". Argo was still nervous as she periodically nudged Xena indicating she wanted to leave. Xena would have waited forever if that's what it took.
Almost imperceptibly, the tree began to lighten in colour until the entire bark surface emanated a bright yellow. Xena shielded her eyes behind her forearm. Gabrielle stepped out onto the grass as the tree dimmed and returned to its natural state. Xena raced to her side.
"Xena!" Gabrielle leaped at her.
"Gabrielle!" Xena picked up the bard in her arms and squeezed her tightly as she spun around in circles, ecstatic that Gabrielle had returned. They both tumbled to the ground.
Gabrielle rolled on top and joyfully planted kisses all over Xena's face. She eventually found Xena's mouth. They kissed and rolled over several times before coming up for air.
"Don't you ever leave me like that again!" Xena exclaimed. She brushed Gabrielle's hair out of her eyes.
"You won't believe where I've been!" Gabrielle giggled. "There was this guy, his name was Fox."
"Fox? Like the animal?" Xena laughed.
"Yeah, I'll tell you, though, he was pretty spooky!"
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