Chapter 6

Love finally realized.
but for now.
I must endure loves longing.

***

As Xena stepped onboard the ship many a sailors’ eye turned her way. The Roman leader who was speaking with Celeus began to step towards her, to order her off his ship when Celeus taken back, by the warrior’s attire, quickly reached out and grabbed Midgard’s arm. "No Midgard, this is that warrior that I was speaking of."

"Hmmm.. she doesn’t look like any warrior I have ever had the pleasure of fighting.. at least not on a battlefield" he said with a snicker. As Xena approached Celeus eyed her, noticing her change in clothing. Xena was now wearing a dark cloak clasped at the neck. The cloak was open enough to reveal Xena’s long dark brown skirt and a warm russet tunic. Celeus cleared his throat to speak "Excuse me warrior I um.. have been remiss in asking your given name and well, as you have made changes in attire, warrior does not seem quite appropriate".

Xena slyly grinned as she addressed Celeus "My given name is Scylla".

Xena knew that if she used her real name, entering Caesar's army it would not take long for someone to recognize her and that would just not due. She had a little trouble thinking up a name, funny how Gabrielle had unknowingly help her with one of her tales.

Xena had remembered the name from a story that Gabrielle had told the sailors on Cecrops ship’s. It was the tale of Scylla. Not the well-known tale of the Scylla who had sent many a sailor to their deaths. No.. so like Gabrielle she told the little known love story of Scylla the lovely young sea nymph who fell in love with Glaucus, a man that was changed into a creature of the sea. The two had fallen in love but the goddess Circe was jealous of their love. So Circe cursed the lovers by drowning Scylla, then cursing Glaucus to swim the seas for a thousand years. The god, Endymion feeling pity for the doomed lovers changed the curse of Glaucus, so if Glaucus were to collect the bodies of drowned lovers for that thousand years the two lovers would be reunited when his thousand years were through. It is said that Glaucus now roams the seas reuniting lost lovers. The story was sad but as Gabrielle told the tale one could only recall the tale as a promise of hope and undying love.

Looking down at her new clothes Xena addressed Celeus "I thought that being at sea with such fine defenses.. that I could relax and wear something more comfortable". Truly Xena felt uncomfortable and practically naked without her armor but this was key to her plan.

"Well Scylla.. I would like you to introduce you to the leader of these men who serve as you protectors. This is Midgard the commander of these troops."

"It’s an honor to meet you I hope you will not be in need of my healing services." Xena replied with a smug grin.

"Well Scylla I too hope I am in no need of you as a healer perhaps, I could find some other services that you may full fill on this long journey." Midgard stated with a glint in his eye and wicked smile.

With a raised brow Xena coldly eyed Midgard. Xena knew his kind even dressed in his fine uniform he could not hide the cruel scum that he was.

Celeus seeing the deadly sparkle in Scylla eyes was reminded of the look she had before she slayed Khrafstar. There was more to this women then mere beauty, she was deadly. Knowing that Midgard was just one more clueless bastard with an apparent death wish. Celeus decided to break this up before Midgard was just a red smudge on the deck. Thinking quickly he began to sway catching the healers attention.

Xena seeing Celeus’s slight sway she realized it was far too soon for Celeus to be up with his wound. She would take care of this pig later. Xena quickly walked to Celeus side and taking his arm slid it across her broad shoulders. "And who said you could leave your bed". Letting Celeus lean on her taking on his weight with suprising ease she started to lead him away. Calling over her shoulder "I have a patient to tend to now. See that my things are brought to Celeus’s cabin" as she escorted Celeus back to his bed.

Celeus added " Make sure my healer here has a cabin near me so she can tend to me proper."

Midgard winked " I’ll be sure to see to it." As he carefully eyed her body as she made her way below deck. Yes, she was a real beauty that one and perhaps a bit of fire, but that only made it all the more interesting. He would have her before they reached Britannia.

***

The first week was busy as the Romans and the crew found their routine of daily chores to pass the time. Xena kept busy between caring for Celeus who was recouping nicely, and the occasional seasick Roman. For this she used some herbs to ease the nausea. She tried not to use pressure points on these men giving them any knowledge that would be of use to them later.

As another day ended Xena once again found her way to the bow of the ship. She found this time quite, as she admired the beauty of the sea. At sea with these Romans it had reminded her of another time, another ship, the one that she sailed as a warlord.

As she watched the sunset she could hear from the recesses of her mind the beautiful songs that M’Lila would sing. Xena smiled as she recalled her Gaelic friend. M’Lila was the only other person besides Gabrielle who broke through her barriers making her way into her heart. M’Lila saw something in her she had not known existed at the time. The hope of a Xena who protected others not destroyed them. Xena closed her eyes as she recalled the last time she saw M’Lila, with an arrow sticking out of her back. M’Lila gave her life to save Xena only for her to respond with death and darkness turning on all who were in her way. Xena felt the pain and the shame of those ten years, where her only mission was to kill and destroy.

As she gazed deep into the last glimpse of the sun as it set, it was as if she could see the light that was Gabrielle. The one that guided her from that darkness, lightening her load, making her smile. As she thought of Gabrielle her heart warmed as a wave of love washed over her. Speaking into the wind hoping against hope Gabrielle could hear her message "Gods I miss you Gabrielle, but I carry you in my heart."

"Well well well... so this is where you have been hiding yourself. Sunsets.. I didn’t picture you as the romantic type." Midland stated with a sarcastic tone.

"I prefer you didn’t picture me at all" Xena replied angrily. She was angry with herself for not realizing he was so close and angry at this dog for his arrogance.

"Oh I wouldn’t be so quick." As Midland stepped closer to Xena "I can be a great help making you known to Cesar."

"Gee.. thanks for the offer but you might say he and I have um been aquatinted." Maybe this pig will leave me alone if he thinks Cesar will be interested in his actions.

As Midland’s hand moved to caress Xena’s cheek "We are far from Cesar. On long journeys such as this it would not be.. shall we say¼ uncommon for accidents to happen. It would be a shame to leave such a beauty as yourself as shark bait." Midgard growled.

Xena losing patience quickly grabbed the pig’s hand and twisted it behind him. Pulling his elbow up painfully behind him Xena pushed him up against the railing edge and slung him over the rail enough to insure he had a fine view of the sea below. Xena’s voice husky with fury spoke to Midland just above a whisper "Yes I can see how such an accident could happen." Wrenching his body forward a little further "Although you would make a fine meal for the sharks, being a healer I try to keep soldiers alive. I will give you that one chance. Don’t be a foolish enough to threaten me again or I will see to it the sharks are well fed." Giving Midland a final painful pull on his arm she lowered him to the ground where he promptly leaned on the railing with his heart beating wildly and his face a pasty shade of white. Xena giving him a final disgusted scowl turned and headed to her cabin.

"I’ll kill her!!" Midland vowed catching his breath and rubbing his sore arm. Feeling embarrassed that a woman would threaten him. He now knew she was dangerous but this was a long journey and an opportunity would arise. He was sure of that and then he would kill that bitch!!

***

Returning to her cabin Xena paced furiously trying to calm her blood. I should have just thrown that Roman scum over board and been done with him. No.. no.. that would do nothing but raise suspicion and the last thing she needed was an inquiry. No better to wait him out and hope the scum was not stupid enough to try that bit again.

Seeking to contain her anger Xena searched through her bag looking for her sharpening stone. Sharpening her sword allowed her to focus, calming the raging sea in her soul. As she began rummaging through her bag she came across a scroll. I must have accidentally taken this when I was transferring my gear back at the glade.

Xena found her fingers unconsciously caressing the scroll that reminded her of Gabrielle. Normally Xena would never read any of the bards scrolls unless it was given to her but now with Xena so far from Gabrielle she yearned to find any part of her bard to bring Gabrielle closer. Slowly unrolling the scroll she could not help but smile as she recalled how she had seen Gabrielle pause with delight and anticipation as she opened a fresh scroll that was but waiting for her latest tale. Such a simple action brought so much happiness to her bard. Gabrielle was always telling her to stop and smell the flowers, listen to the ocean enjoy what the world had to offer. Yet just watching Gabrielle as she experienced the world brought joy into her heart.

As she looked over the scroll she noticed it was a poem instead of the usual stories the bard loved to write. Reading, Xena suddenly found it hard to swallow and tears glistened from her eyes as her emotions came rushing to the surface.

Xena’s fingers caressed the words that were written as a peacefully wave of warmth touched her soul. Xena brush away her tears amazed again at how easily Gabrielle’s words had touched her. Suddenly feeling the exhaustion of the past weeks wash over her Xena settled on her pallet still holding the scroll allowing herself to be swepted away by the warmth that it brought.

***

Xena sensed someone in the room coming closer to where she lay, but she did not fear this presence it seemed familiar. As she opened her eyes she was startled to see that it was Gabrielle. "But you can’t be here, I left to return to the Amazons."

"You know I will always follow you. Look into your heart Xena you know the truth." Gabrielle replied as she slowly approached the pallet where Xena lay.

"But I want you to be safe." Xena pleaded

As Gabrielle sat on the edge of the pallet her hand began to caress Xena’s arm causing the warrior to close her eyes taking in the sweet sensations that Gabrielle’s hand was sending through her being. "Don’t you realize Xena, that the safest place for me is in your heart." Gabrielle whispered in her ear sending even stronger waves passing through her. Gabrielle then moved her lips to caress Xena’s cheek drawing a slight moan from her. "Tell me Xena .." Gabrielle asked in a voice deep and unfamiliar "Tell me..."

"Tell you what?" Xena asked her own voice rich with wanting.

"Tell me..." Gabrielle said again just barely brushing her lips to Xena’s.

Reaching, searching Xena looked into her heart as she realized she always knew the answer. "I Love You Gabrielle."

And with that Xena reached her hand to gently capture the back of the bard’s head and guided Gabrielle’s lips to her own. The kiss was gentle yet full of passion taking her breath away.

As the ship pitched Xena woke from her dream. Startled her pulse still racing Xena felt a fire raging from her core. The dream was so real and just thinking of Gabrielle was enough to keep the fire burning in her blood. In that dream she finally truly acknowledged that her deep feelings for Gabrielle ran far deeper then those of true friendship

but the passionate bond of finding her soul mate. Yes, she wanted, needed Gabrielle body and soul.

With this realization she knew that she had to return to Gabrielle no matter what the cost, for she would never be whole without her. With this thought she laid back and tried to reenter Morpheus’s realm where at least for now she could be with her bard in her dreams.

***

Checking over Celeus wound Xena found it healing nicely and it was time that she removed her stitches. "Well this shouldn’t hurt badly." As Xena prepared her breast dagger to remove the stitches, she thought it best to distract Celeus. "So Celeus do you have family back in Britannia or in Rome."

"My family is in Britannia I have been assigned there for the past five cycles and my wife and daughter move there to be near. They live in a small village where many of the soldiers families stay."

"How long have you been married." Xena inquired remove a few more stitches.

"My wife Edda and I have be married for the past 8 cycles. My daughter Phaedra is four." Celeus reflected on how proud he was of his family. "My wife and I didn’t we were ever going to have children.. we had all but given up hope when we were blessed with Phaedra. She has the most beautiful brown eyes that shine when she laughs.. She loves to read stories, I can’t seem to find enough for her." As Celeus thought of his family so far away he sighed. "At times I have hopes of just returning to them and living out my days in peace, but Rome calls and I am bound by honor."

Seeing the sincerity in his eyes Xena felt a kinship to this man. Xena understood duty and the price that it held. Leaving everything you love for the greater good. Even though the Romans definition of good was different then hers duty was universal. Xena realized she and Celeus and more in common the she would have ever thought and Xena began to find herself respecting this war weary soldier. Clearing her throat as she finished removing the stitches. "Now how about a little fresh air?"

As Xena escorted Celeus above deck to get some much needed fresh air Xena noticed how the sky had darkened and the wind had begun to pick up. "Looks like we are in for a storm tonight."

"Yes, It would be just my luck to finally healed only to tossed around by the sea." Celeus replied

"How about I leave you here for a few minutes so I can see how we are doing in making ready for this storm?" Xena inquired

"Go on.. see what you can do. I’m sure that I can make my way back on my own."

"Alright, take it easy. I’ll check on you when I’m finished. Don’t stay out here to long the last thing you need is to catch a cold." Xena stated as she patted Celeus on the shoulder.

"Well I have gotten use to you hanging around my cabin maybe a cold would not be to high a price to pay for your company." Celeus said with a lighthearted smile and a wink. Returning his smile Xena headed to the wheel.

Spying the Captain as he shouted orders to the men she approached him. " Ah healer I hope we will not be needing your services this night." Looking up the Captain thoughtfully assessed the clouds which were moving in swiftly as the waves began to crash harder against the ship beginning to steadily rock the boat.

"Is there anything I can do to help on deck before we really hit this storm?"

"No need of your help now Scylla.. but you might prepare some of those seasickness herbs of yours. Most of these Romans have never seen seas this rough and I’m sure being below deck won’t help."

"Alright I will up the galley for any of the sick. Let Midland know to send his men there if needed." Xena replied. Midland had made himself scarce around her since their little talk and she did her best to avoid him when possible. Heading to the galley Xena could tell that the storm was quickly picking up. This should be a rough one and she expected many of the Romans would be in need of her services through this storm.

Seeing Xena make her way below deck Midland walked out of the shadows where he had been hiding. Midland was grinning wildly. "YES!!" This storm is perfect and he knew how to implement his plan. We will see who will be shark bait my sweet! Midland grinned and eyed the skies thanking Poseidon for helping him kill this bitch.

***

As the night approached the storm raged roughly tossing the ship. The galley was full of soldiers moaning and desperately trying to keep from emptying their stomachs. Xena prepared her tea, which help with most of the cases but with a few she had resorted to sleeping powder to keep them from becoming ill. Suddenly a soldier burst into the galley soaking from the storm. Xena quickly made her way to the man. "Scylla, one of the crew was hit by a piece of falling timber, he’s hurt badly and the Captain thought it best if you saw him before we tried to move him!"

Seeing the soldier was soaked and exhausted Xena motioned him to stay in the galley and help the sick while she went to see to the injured man above deck. Gathering her bag she headed above. As Xena passed through the hatch it took a moment to fix her bearings. The night was pitch black and the waves were crashing over the ships’ sides. With the wind and rain whipping wildly it was almost impossible to see. Making her way to where the soldier had told her the injured man lay, she was unable to make out anyone on deck. Before Xena could head back, a fist shot out hitting her square on the chin, throwing her head back sharply. Dazed for a moment she almost lost her balance on the slick deck. As she regained her balance another fist shot out of the darkness but Xena caught this next blow. Xena firmly grasped the arm pulling Miland out of the shadows. Midland was amazed at her speed and the strength with which she used to pull him out. Xena, seeing it was Midland she realized this was all a trap. Midland desperately grabbed for his dagger, swiftly trying to strike her in the chest. Xena captured his hand just below his wrist she snapped the bone. Midland screamed out in pain, his cries were lost in the sounds of the storm. "You cold blooded bitch, I’LL KILL YOU!!" Using all his rage Midland threw all his weight at Xena, pushing them both over the railing. Quickly Xena reached out and caught the rope hanging from the rail. Clinging to the rope, Xena looked down to see that Midland had attached himself to her right leg. Midland, so blinded with hate, pulled at Xena leg trying to force her to lose her grip. "I‘ll be damned if I’m not going to Tartarus alone. I’m taking you with me." Midland cried madly. Using all her remaining strength Xena waited for the next wave and as it rocked the boat she pulled her right leg back and turning drove Midland into the side of the ship. As he lost his grip Xena cried, " You first, tell them Xena sent you!"

Feeling himself falling, Midland could not believe his ears. This was the Warrior Princess! As his body hit the water his mind realized his fatal mistake, one he would not live to regret, as the sea swallowed him.

Seeing Midland disappear in the water Xena’s attention turned to climbing and once again reaching the deck. She realized she was tiring so as the next wave hit she used her powerful legs and pushed off of the ships side arching her body into a backflip and landed on deck clutching the rail. Once again was able to cheat Hades. Taking one last look out to the sea she sighed, hiding her exhaustion behind with her warrior mask. Xena then turned and headed back to the galley.

After the storm it was discovered that Midland was missing. Since no one particularly cared for the bastard it was assumed that the fool had been hit by a wave and thrown out to sea. The soldier who brought Xena the message decided with Midland wash out to sea it would be wise to maintain his good health by keeping his mouth shut.

The next week pasted quietly with Celeus now in command the moral of the soldiers lifted. Xena watched as Celeus ordered his troops and she began to respect him as a fine soldier. Celeus and Xena spent the last days of the voyage swapping war stories and talking about Celeus family. As the last day of the voyage came Xena spent the time on deck working out the final details of her plans. Xena tried to lock away her feelings for Gabrielle for now, for they only distracted her from what she must do. An old mentor of hers once told her that the enemy of precision is passion. So for now her passion had no place in her world for precision in carrying out her plan was critical.

Xena’s attention was brought back as she heard the sailor in the birds’ nest. "Land HO, ‘tis Britannia!!" Making her way to the bow Xena spotted land, the land of Caesar. As her eyes grew cold she swore. This time he would be the one to regret their ever meeting.

Continued...

A Lost Dream

By Paul Dunbar

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