Disclaimer: Howdy! All characters of this fanfiction of Xena WP are copyrighted and owned by MCA/Universal and Rennisance Pictures. No dinars were made, but many Oreos sacrificed thier lives in the making of this story. This story is PG-13 contains meantion of rape and has some violence. No actual rape happens, but some may find this disturbing. Reader discreation is advised. All you Joxer haters can turn back if you wish. I make him a hero in this one. Thank you SO MUCH to all you great folks who support me!! Kisses to you! Write me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Joxer clanked around for firewood as Xena scraped her sharping stone against her sword. She darted a finger to her lips to shish the noisy wannbe warrior. Joxer winched and mouthed the words "Sorry" as Gabrielle rolled over to her side "Mom, it's Lila's turn to get the eggs. Don't wanna get up..."
Xena gently rubbed Gabrielle's forehead "You're right, dear. I forgot. Go back to sleep" Xena softly answered. Gab smiled and went back to her deep slumber. Xena couldn't count the nights she got elbowed and woken up by Gabrielle's mid-slumber conversations.
Joxer clanked some more and of course being Joxer, dropped the largest log on his toe. Xena leaped up and slapped her hand over his mouth as he yells and curses.
Xena took off her armor, but remained in her leather dress. She signaled to Joxer to a large log. Xena sat first on the log with her wineskin and patted to the space at her side. She drinks deeply and offers it to Joxer. With a startled look at Xena's new founded courtesy toward his person, Joxer plopped down on the spot Xena picked.
"C'mon. It's Amazon wine.." Xena tempts.
"Allright. How bad can it be?" Joxer smugly grabs the wineskin and takes a giant swallow, imitating Xena. Xena gives a evil grin as Joxer feels the strong burning drink scourch its way down to his stomach. Joxer coughs violently. "Smmooth" He whisperes with a strain, blushing.
Xena laughs and slaps him on the back. It's at least the Warrior Princess can do. She is filled with joy and a new respect tonight because this constant painful pest of a man and somewhat lackey to Gabrielle and Xena gave the Warrior Princess the greatest gift. He saved Gabrielle's life last night..............
"Thanks for letting me stick around, Xena. I didn't want to get in the way after what happened last night."
"Joxer, after what you did last night, You'll never be on my bad side again."
"Yeah, last night" Joxer repeats and sadly looks down.
"Joxer, what's wrong?"
"Xena, I didn't want to kill that man. I-I can't believe i did that" Joxer's eyes fill with tears. He turns his head away to hide. Xena looks at the stars above them. A long pause follows as Joxer composes himself. "It was horrible. I know you guys were trying to lose me, but Gabrielle dropped her hairbrush and I know how much she loves that brush so I had to find her."
"Yes, Joxer. We tried losing you. Three times. But then you pop up again. You're getting better."
"Thanks! Anyway. I asked around and found out she's at the Inn. I come to her room and hear..that..."
"Yeah, I know. I found out he drugged her cider. And he raped alot of girls that way. Y-young girls. Afterwards, they came forward and told me and everyone what he did" Xena catches the tear going down her cheek.
"I'm just SO grateful and she's SO lucky you got there in time!"
"I just lost it. I walk in and Gabrielle is unconcious on the bed. That....scum is on top of her and calling her slut.." Joxer whinces as Xena pounds on the log with her fist. "And then he puts his hand on her chest. I didn't even think" Joxer's brown eyes close as he continues "I thought Gabrielle was dead. She wasn't moving. Nothing. So, I take out my sword and put it through his back. He giggled a little, then dropped dead." Joxer grabs the wineskin and drinks again.
"Joxer, you did the right thing. Don't blame yourself! I was off-guard. I knew that monster for three damn years! I shook his hand, ate his food, drank his wine. I stayed at his Inn all the time. NOBODY knew about this! I go off to get some medicines and herbs on Dios Island. That island had everything i needed for the year. It's a half-day boat ride each way. Gab wanted to avoid going and didn't want to get seasick. I felt she was safe there.." Xena grabs Joxer's hand "I was wrong. Joxer, you know I'm not good with the mushy stuff. I leave that to her." Xena face softens "Joxer....I cannot repay you for what you did for me today. You saved my very soul and my reason for living. She is my light and my salvation. I love her more than any words can describe. You will always have a place in my heart for what you done. Gabrielle and I care for you deeply. And you will always have a warrior to help you when you need it. Just ask. You are now one of the family." Xena hugs Joxer tightly and whispers "Thank you."
"Anything for you, Xena. You and Gabrielle are my friends.."
"You are a good man, Joxer. Now, we gotta get some rest. Tomorrow, You start as our new partner. Unofficaly, of course. AND Gabrielle has a surprise for you."
"OOOhh, what? What?"
Xena smiles "No. Joxer. I can't tell you.....I can say we are paying a little visit to the Amazons."
"Th-The Amazons? I can't go there, I'm a man."
"You are the Queen's escourt. You are allowed in that case."
"Whoa! Amazons! All those women.."
"Allright, there, quit drooling. Go to bed."
"Good night, Xena" Xena smiles and pats Joxer on the shoulder.
"Good night, Joxer the Mighty" Joxer smiles and returns happly to his camp. Xena yawns and thanks the gods for giving her back her Little Bard. Xena lays at Gabrielle's side and closes her eyes. Suddenly, Gabrielles elbow pounds Xena in the back. Xena just smiles and goes to sleep....................
"OK, Joxer. It's sunrise. Breakfast is ready. We have a lot of traveling to do" Gabrielle softly nuged Joxer, who yawned and streached. Joxer rubbed his eyes and saw Xena and Gabrielle were about finished breaking camp. A plate of fruit and meat awaited him and he gulped his meal as he watched Gabrielle finish cleaning and packing their gear for the journey ahead to Amazonia....
"Thanks, Gabrielle. Melon is my favorite. I hope I didn't sleep too late." Joxer asked.
"No.. Xena is still finishing up at the river with Argo. Joxer....about last night at the Inn.."
"Please, Gabrielle. I don't want to think about it. You're...here. That's all that matters" Gabrielle looked at her friend and saw a sadness cloud over his brown eyes. "I didn't want him to die..I thought I lost...you forever and then, he was dead. All I remember after that was asking you to wake up. And you did. It happend so fast."
The Bard rubs his arm gentlely, then places her hand on his shoulder and squeezes him closely. "Joxer, he would have killed me. I would have been gone...just gone. I'd never write another story, never hug my mother, never yell at Lila for chewing with her mouth open again, and I would never see..." Gabrielle whispers "...see Xena again.. For that, I love you. For being a pest, for being a punching bag when I needed one, for being a ear when I had to vent my anger. And for saving my life....That man murdered the souls of all those little girls and Xena would have killed him in a flash just for that. He chose to rape those girls and he signed his own death warrent. You are not a killer, Joxer. Crying for a man you don't even know makes you a caring hero and a man I'm proud to know" Joxer nodded and looked away as he wiped a tear. Gabrielle hugs Joxer, her golden-reddish locks rubbing his chin "Thank you so much. I sent messages to the Amazons on what happened. You saved the virtue and the life of the Queen. I offically named you a Royal Advisor and Escourt. It's a rank below Regent and Myself as Queen. You'll be addressed as Commander by all Amazons. The ceremony is today and the party is tonight. A good 300 Amazons will be there as we all bond with you. A Blood Bond."
"Bl-Blood Bond? What in Zeus' beard is a Blood Bond?"
"Well, it's a lifelong promise. We swear to defend and assist you when you need us for the rest of our lives. You just ask. You swear to do the same. Even if it means our or your deaths. It's a great honor." Gabrielle playfully punches Joxer's arm as he smiles.
"Wow..." Joxer dreamly exclaims.
Xena arrives with Argo "Ready?" Xena asks and arches one eyebrow. Gabrielle and Joxer scuttle around and finish packing. Joxer sees Xena give Gabrielle a smouldering, sexy stare as Gabrielle giggles and returns her soulmate's look. Xena rubs Gabrielle's forearm...
"Um, I'd better scout ahead. I won't go far." Joxer knew when to leave these two alone and this was the time.
"Good idea, Joxer. We'll catch up" Gabrielle called out, not breaking the stare of her stunningly blue-eyed lover.
"OK." Joxer called out and started going down the road, whistling. "I'm so glad Gabrielle is in love. May not be me, but at least she's happy. That's all that counts" He accepted the fact that his two best friends are deep in love and stopped chasing Gabrielle like a lovesick puppy. He loves Gabrielle so much but she can't live without Xena. Period. He turns and smiles as he sees Gabrielle and Xena share the most intimate and loving kiss then disappears in the bushes to leave his friends alone. He puffs his chest out..."Commander Joxer, at your service! Yes, sir. You're so brave, sir" He talks to himself. Gabrielle regretfully breaks her passionate embrace with Xena.
"Oh, baby. Ah,no. Xena, Let's not forget. Amazonia, by nightfall." She reminds Xena.
"Yeah, nightfall. I didn't forget. I even shaved my legs" Xena purred as she kissed her beloved's neck.
"Oh,my. Smmootthhh" Gab seductively rubbed Xena's spot above her knee and kisses Xena again.
"Gabrielle.... *kiss* now who's forgetting? *kiss* Later...*kiss, kiss* I love you " Xena whispered.
"Right.... I love you, Xena. Son of a baccae, you are such a tease" Gab moaned as Xena mounts Argo.
The day passed quickly as Gabrielle told three long stories, a poem, and a unfinished story idea, which she asked Joxer's feedback. The three are walking along the trail when Joxer calls for a break. He clanks down, and rubs his feet. "When are we getting to the Amazon Nation?" Joxer askes.
"We passed the markers about half a league back."
"Yeah, and we've been followed the whole time. 4 in the trees and 2 in the bushes" Gabrielle informed Joxer. Joxer looked around but heard nothing and saw less.
Xena smiled with pride "Wow. You are getting better."
Suddenly, the Amazons give their war yell and leap from thier hiding place. The gather in front of Gabrielle and bow. "Welcome back, Queen Gabrielle."
"Thank you. Rise and greet your Queen, Sisters."
They rise and unmask themselves. The lead speaks "I am Leeta. We are to escourt you and your guest, the Commander to your huts." Leeta turns to Joxer "So. You're the guest of honor. I heard what you done. Very noble, Sir. I will be honored to bond with you."
Joxer swallowed nerviously at the beatiful Leeta's comments "Th-Thank you. Can't wait" Quickly, A young Amazon throws a cloth sack over the new Commander's head as Leeta throws the whining wannabe over her shoulder. "Hey! Gabrielle! What's going on?"
"Relax, Joxer. They are taking you to the village. But they can't show you where it is. Sorry" Xena explained.
Leeta adds "Yeah, relax. You're in good hands." Leeta slaps Joxer's bottom and makes a impressed smile. "Ummm, nice. We're taking him to be changed and cleaned up. You know the way there? Stop squirming..*SLAP!*"
"OW! Quit it!"
"Gabrelle and I will meet you there"
"As you wish. Your Highness...Xena..." the Amazons bow and Gabrielle returns the bow.
"Ah, NO! Not the trees! AAAAHHHH!!" Leeta and the rest of her party disappear into the trees above as Joxer's yells grow more and more distant.......
After arriving and cleaning up, Joxer was called to the Queen's hut. On the way, Leeta reminded Joxer about protocol and manners. Occaisonaly, a Amazon would stop and congratulate Joxer on his new title and commend him on saving the Queen's life. Smells of a grand feast filled the air as his new friend Leeta spoke. The two have been inseparatable since thier meeting.
"Commander, you must remember to always address the Queen and Regent by their titles. They may be your friends, but here..."
Joxer stopped and smiled "Please, call me Joxer. Don't worry. I mind my manners. I'll be good."
"Yes, Sir. Um, Joxer" Leeta nerviously replied. How can she be such a mess around a man she just met? She can't have a crush....She was a proud warrior of Artimis. She's too old for these petty feelings, but something made her so attracted to this hero.. Drums and dancing filled the air for this was a great day. Leeta stopped and straighted Joxer collar. "Ready?" Leeta asked.
Joxer nodded and breathed to calm his racing heart. Leeta open the hut and bowed before the table where Gabrielle, Ephiny and Solari were sitting talking tribal affairs and other business. OK, Solari was talking business and Ephiny was gossiping with Gabrielle. All were dressed nobley in formal Amazon gear, preparing for the ceremony following this offical meeting.
"Your Majesty.... Regent...Councel.. I introduce Commander Joxer, Escourt of the Queen."
Joxer entered and almost fell on his face on awe of Gabrielle. On the road, Gabrielle looked exsquisite. But after a bath and some fine clothing, the goddess on Olympus had some SERIOUS competion. Joxer quickly recovered and bowed respectfully "Your Highness, It's a true honor to be here. Your hospitality has been nothing but perfection."
Xena stands behind Gabrielle and smiles a silent hello to Joxer. "He does have his moments" Xena thinks.
"Thank you so much, Commander Joxer. You have met the Council and Regent Ephiny. We gather here today to repay a debt of honor. I told the Amazon Council of your brave and noble act of saving my life and my virtue. The Council agrees with me. With the honorary title of Commander, you have the right to recieve the honor of the Blood Bond. Do you accept?"
"I do, Your Highness. As you are my true friend, all of Amazon shall be the same. I shall defend Amazon to the death if need be."
"Well spoken. We swear to do the same. Now, we shall move meeting to the outside to the eyes of the Moon Goddess herself. Dismissed."
Solari passed by Joxer on the way out and slapped him on the back. "How you doing, Sir? Great Job! See you outside" Solari slugs Joxer on the arm "Can't wait to tag you."
Joxer looks at her puzzled "Tag me?"
Gabrielle patted Joxer on the arm "Yeah, It's a little unwritten tradition in Amazon. Only the Queen is immune. If a Amazon gets a high promotion, All the Amazons in attendance line up and get to punch you in the arm once. I assumed you wanted to have full priveledges. Real test of endurance. Make you one of the girls" The Queen laughs.
Joxer shuffles his feet "How-how many ARE here tonight for the Blood Bond ceremony?"
"Three hundred, plus the Council. It's not that bad. Puts hair on your chest" Xena answers, cracking a slight smile. Joxer's face drains of all color.
Ephiny pats Joxer on the shoulder "Relax, Joxer. It's not that bad. Giving birth to my son hurt just a little more than MY tapping ceremony. But not much. I couldn't even lift my arms for a week or feed myself."
"Thank you, Ephiny" Gabrielle injected as Ephiny giggled evily. Gabrielle then tapped Joxer on the arm very lightly to demonstrate how hard they hit.."See, it's not that bad."
"Yeah, but three hundred times?" Joxer whined."
"Now that's going to be a bitch" Xena answered.
"I can show the Commander to the stage, Highness" Leeta offered.
"Thank you, Leeta. Carry on" Gabrielle answered. Leeta bowed and then took Joxer's arm.
"You did great." Leeta beamed as the hut door closed.
"It's great the way you had Leeta show Joxer around, Ephiny. She's very nice " Gabrielle commented the Regent.
Ephiny looked around and whispered " I thought you told her to show him around."
"Must be snowing in Tartarus today. Joxer's getting a girlfriend" Xena giggled to the surprise of all......................
Drums thundered across the village as the Queen of the Amazons made her way to the stage. "Presenting, to all her subjects, the Chosen Queen Gabrielle" Behind her was the Regent Ephiny and then the Councel led by Solari. Joxer awaited his friend on the massive stage and bowed respectfully as well as all 300 present Amazons. Gabrielle was in her full Amazon regalia and traditional face mask.
Ephiny raised her arms. "And now, I present to you the Queen's Escourt and Advisior..Commander Joxer" The Amazons bow to one knee then rise. The drums beat some more as the chalice and the Queen's Dagger is brought out.
"Joxer step forward." Joxer goes to Gabrielle and kneels before her. Gabrielle holds out her hand and Solari places the Dagger in her hand. Regent Ephiny places the chalice before the Queen as Gabrielle slices the dagger across her palm. Blood flows freely as it drips into the chalice. "Joxer, you have saved the honor and the very life of Amazon. As you have risked your life and made a big sacrifice, Amazon shall repay you. We, as blood bonded Amazons, swear before the Gods on Olympus to defend and aid you whenever you wish for as long as you live." Xena, Regent Ephiny and the Councel follow the Queen's lead and bleed into the chalice.
Joxer swallows nerviously, then slices his hand to draw blood. "I, Joxer, swear before the Gods of Olympus to defend and aid the Amazon Nations to the death for as long as I live." Joxer watched the blood swirl around as Gabrielle spoke again.
"Sisters. Who wishes to join this brave warrior in a glorious oath?" All Amazons raise thier swords as they let out their warcries in acknowlegement.
Joxer and Gabrielle smile. "Excellent. Now, step forward to pay tribute to the Commander. In blood and in friendship. His blood is now our blood. The time for the tapping has begun. As Queen, I'm first" Gabrielle handed Joxer the large chalice. "Ready?" Gabrielle asked as Joxer nodded, holding the chalice with both hands. Gabrielle spits on her knuckles, then punches Joxer in the arm and all cheer. "See. It wasn't that bad. Now, take it easy on him. Congratulations, Commander."
Ephiny, Solari and the Councel tap him next. After each punch, all Amazons cheered including Xena. Xena's punch was light, but still stung like hell. She couldn't pull a punch to save her life. Joxer's arms felt like they would snap in half. Joxer stood before all Amazon. The same thing happened over and over. A warrior would step up, congratulate Joxer drip her blood into the chalice to seal the blood bond then tap him on the arm. Joxer had no idea to get away. He was at the end of the line, finally. Leeta is at the end of the line and drips her blood with the others. She taps Joxer and kisses him on the cheek instead of saying "Congrations, Sir" or "Sir."
"How you doing, Joxer?" Leeta whispered.
"I'm making through. Barely. Gods, I ache all over."
"Well, I can nurse you if you wish."
"Yeah! Um, I mean..Yes. That would be nice. Thank you. Later, after the feast?"
"I'll be waiting. Mom can't wait to meet you."
"M-Mom?' Joxer studdered as Leeta turned away smiling, not answering. Joxer stares at Leeta's form walking away and is nudged by the Temple Priestess. Joxer nods and hands the chalice to the Priestess and she silently carries it to the Temple to be blessed. All Amazons cheer as the Tapping closes. "Welcome to the fold. Now, let's have some fun. A feast, dancing, song..Enjoy!"
The Feast at the Queen's Table was massive. Gabrielle stuffed herself to the gills and treated to herself to some wine. Joxer ate his meal and shared his tales of adventures with Xena and some bad jokes Three bonfires burned brightly as the feast came to a close. The dancing continued and the songs filled the air.
Gabrielle leaned over to Xena "Hello, Warrior. I'm in need of your services, but I don't have much money."
Xena smiles evily. Sounds like Gabrielle is in one of her special playful and randy moods. "Hmmm, well. I'm expensive but I wager we can work something out."
Gabrielle takes Xena's hand "Shall we talk it over in my quarters? Good...Ephiny?"
"Say no more, Queen. I can take things from here." The Regent answers.
Joxer waves to Xena and Gabrielle make thier exit. Damn! That hurts. Maybe he should have the healer just cut off his arms. He could learn to play the lyre with his toes. Joxer smiles and dreams of the many ways Leeta can kiss and rub his sore arms...Leeta is so beautiful and seems to like Joxer. "Duh" Joxer tells himself. He feels so guilty about being away from Meg. He misses Meg, but she broke things off with Joxer a while back. She wanted to take a break and concentrate more on her tavern. Joxer frowns as he swirls the wine around the mug. The hazards of a warrior. That and killing that man. Joxer never knew anyone could bleed so much. The scene replayed in his head time after time. "My first kill." Joxer mumbles Never has Joxer wanted to crawl into a hole before that moment.. But, he did bring to peace alot of little girls who couldn't fight back. And Gabrielle is safe... The pain will fade. Sometime....
Ephiny needed to check on her son and excused herself. "Good night, Joxer."
"Good night Regent" Joxer bowed. Joxer sighed and felt his arms ache somemore. He looks and see a splash of briuses, his welcome present to the Amazons. He smiles and clunkes off to see a nurse warrior. Maybe this Leeta thing is going well for him. The Fates seem to be smiling on him tonight. To be young and in love... "Joxer the Mighty....To every Amazon he's a prize...just check out my shoe sizzzzzeeee...hah, hah!!" Joxer sings....And he blundered on to a happy night....
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