Tempus Fugit

By Mavis Applewater

For disclaimers see part one.

A special thanks goes out to my beta reader Mary.

As always this is for Heather.

Part Five 1960

            This was the year that four black college students sat at a lunch counter in Woolworths in Greensboro. They were refused service but allowed to stay seated at the counter. A small yet inspirational victory.  I experienced my own mini protest that year. Mine paled in comparison to that of those four brave souls still I had my own minor victory. For me it was when I stood up to my parents for the first time. Also it was the first time we crossed the line and actually talked about my love life. It started innocently enough. I had been dating Carrie for awhile and it only seemed right that she meet my family.  I knew they loved Ginny like one of their own and even though they’d never say the words they were hoping that Ginny and I would work things out after she was released. 

            I didn’t have the heart to tell them it was Ginny who had ended things between us.  I was still friends with her and I guess I part of me was hoping that maybe after she got out we could start again.  It was hard for me to deal with. Carrie and I had been together for over a year and I still hadn’t completely given up on my ex-girlfriend. 

            Mom and Dad didn’t make it any easier each time they met or I told them about a new girl.  They were polite still their disapproval rang through each and every time.  I mistakenly thought that if they met Carrie, broke bread with her that perhaps they might change their tune. It was a really bad call.

            “Ellen,” Mom cautiously approached me. I was furious. The trip home had been one disaster after another.  It began when I asked if I could bring a friend home with me.  Silly me I thought when Mom and Dad said it wasn’t a problem that it wouldn’t be a problem.  Now when Sammy was rude to Carrie I wasn’t surprised. He was still a kid and still believed that Ginny could walk on water.  My parents on the other hand had no excuse for their lack of manners.

            I spent most of the day apologizing to Carrie.  I kept explaining that yes my parents truly are warm and loving people.  In fact so long as we don’t throw it up in their faces they don’t have a problem with our relationship.  My mistake was assuming that just because they didn’t have a problem with Ginny meant they didn’t have a problem with my sexuality. 

            Carrie was hurt, but never said a word. Both she and I were on our best behavior, and to the outside observer we wouldn’t appear to be any more than close friends.  We weren’t fooling my parents. I just never thought we had to.  They knew about me. Hell everyone knew about me. So long as no one talked about it, no one seemed to care.  I couldn’t wait for dinner to be over so we could get out of there. I was tired of my parents acting like Carrie wasn’t in the room. Before dinner was over Dad managed to punch my ticket one too many times.

“Dad!” I shouted throwing down my napkin startling everyone at the table.

“I don’t care for that tone.” He cautioned me.

“Why would you bring that up?” I harped not caring that I was defying him.

“All I said was that Ginny didn’t look good the last time we visited her,” he grumbled. “You usually like to hear about our visits with her.”

            Just before I could blurt out, ‘not in front of my new girlfriend!’ Mom stepped in and pleaded for us to calm down. 

“I am calm.” Dad fussed glaring at me.

“Carrie wait for me in the car,” I instructed swallowing my anger.

“Okay.” She whispered while bolting for the car.

“Eleanore?” Mom cut in as I stood. “There is no need,”

“Oh come off it,” I wailed. “If it wasn’t okay you should have just said so.”

“Eleanore,” Dad bellowed.  “We just want you to be happy.”

            “By mentioning Ginny in front of Carrie?” I fumbled. “Tell me you didn’t know that was wrong? As for happy, I want to be happy.  Next time you visit your adopted daughter ask her whose idea it was that I move on with my life?  Trust me it wasn’t mine.  Frankly I’m tired of her self scarifying holier than thou attitude.”

“Speaking of a holier than thou attitude,” Mom calmly butted in. “Young lady change that tone of voice. Eleanore I’m not disagreeing with what you are saying. But I will not put up with you speaking to us in this manner. Is that understood?”

“Sure.” I groaned still seething.

“Try again.” Mom threatened.

“I’m sorry,” I bit back my anger.  “I didn’t mean to explode.  But what you did today wasn’t cool.”

“Perhaps not,” Mom conceded. “You’re right we do think of Ginny as part of the family.  And we’re not happy watching your new friends come and go. We can’t keep track anymore.”

“It’s time you got serious,” Dad explained almost sounding repentant.

“I am.”

“With?” He motioned towards the window. I knew he was asking how I felt about Carrie.

“No,” I confessed feeling exposed.

“And that is why we are worried,” Mom blew out.  “What happens when Ginny comes home?”

“I have no idea.” I wearily grumbled. “If I did things would be a lot easier on all of us.”

            I couldn’t handle the conversation and I knew all too well that my parents were even less equipped to deal with the subject. The truth was if I knew Ginny would take me back I would wait for her. She was the one who made it painfully clear that she wasn’t waiting and for me to do so was a waste of time.  I retreated simply saying goodnight to my parents and leaving with my girlfriend. To her credit the only thing Carrie said about the fiasco was, ‘That was interesting.’

            Carrie and I lasted almost another year. It wasn’t meant to be. I was still haunted by Ginny. Who still insisted that I move on with my life.  I just hated that she could be so reasonable and understanding. I wasn’t ready to start dating again. I wanted to be on my own for awhile and see what would happen. I had just survived my one and only normal relationship with a woman. After my first two girlfriends, Carrie was a breath of fresh air. Once again Ginny pushed and along came Martha.  I still wonder if I would have given Martha the time of day if I hadn’t been so pissed off by Ginny’s noble insistence. 

            At midnight on March 23^rd I snuck away from the party my friends had thrown for me. My hands were shaking as I dialed the number. The call was rejected. I could only assume it was because of the time of day.  I did a little research and called at the appropriate time the following evening. My call once again was rejected.  “Wait,” I pleaded with the matron who answered my call. “I’m twenty-one.” I protested.

“Your name is on the restricted list.” The woman curtly informed me before hanging up.

            I had waited four long years just to hear Ginny’s voice and for some reason she was refusing to take my calls. I tried several more times. Not being one to just give in the next visitor’s day I drove to the prison.  I was completely unprepared for what awaited me.  I had to fill out endless forms, show my ID over and over again and then I was searched repeatedly. Each search proved to be more degrading than the last. Then just when I thought the wait was over and I was finally going to be able to see Ginny, I was turned away.

            I kept trying. I called, I showed up on visitor’s day even arriving with my parents on a couple of occasions.  Each time my calls were disconnected and I was turned away. Later my parents informed me that Ginny didn’t want me to see her in there.  So be it. That wasn’t going to stop me from showing up on the day she was released. If she still didn’t want to see me then she’d have to tell me in person.

Part Six 1961

            The decade began with Bobby Lewis having us Tossin’ and Turning while the Shirelles had us questioning Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow. Ray Charles refused to perform a concert that was segregated. He was banned from the state of Georgia for life. JFK was President and we had no idea how much this decade would forever define us.  I was beginning to understand myself. I was old enough to drink, vote and question authority.  I was possessed with the same burning itch that was gnawing at most of my generation.  The rose colored glasses had been lifted and we were seeing that the world we had been taught existed was a myth.

            “She’s purring like a kitten,” Dad boasted wiping the grease from his hands. “I’m going to take her for a little spin just to be sure. What is it you kids used to call that car back in high school? The Cherry Mobile? I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it means.”

            “You can always hope.” I smirked taking a sip from my Pepsi. It irked my Dad that I preferred Pepsi over Coke. The sixties were truly the beginning of the cola wars. During World War II, Coca Cola made a brilliant move by supplying their product to the troops. Earning them a generation of devoted consumers. Later Pepsi would turn their marketing towards the younger generation. It worked since the generation gap had already begun. Later when Coke tried to win over the large group of consumers it had lost, with I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke catchy jingle aside it was too little too late. The battle of the soft drinks was just one more chink that was dividing our worlds.

“All that money for you to come home a Magna Cum Laude smart mouth,” he sighed wagging his finger at me.

“Yeah I started that in college,” I laughed. “So did the Chevy really need a tune up or did you just want to drive her?”

“She needs to be in tip top shape just a couple more days and I won’t get a chance to drive her anymore,” Dad proudly stated.

“Three more days and she’ll be free,” I shook my head. I was still a little miffed that Ginny had gotten into trouble a couple of times and had more time added onto her sentence. I was ticked that she refused to see me or take my phone calls. “I can’t believe it. And I can’t thank you and Mom enough for visiting her every birthday, every other week and every holiday.  It meant a lot to me.”

            “Ginny didn’t deserve what happened to her.” He answered dryly. “And you didn’t deserve the crap your so called friends pulled for sticking by her.  Now don’t say anything. We noticed how the girls stopped coming around. And for the first time since junior high you weren’t on the cheering squad for the winter sports team. And I heard about how you reamed that pimple faced little snot who ran the yearbook committee when he tried not to put any pictures of Ginny in the yearbook.”

“And I heard about the new one you ripped Principal Jergins for expelling her after she was arrested,” I beamed.  “Funny how she ended up with a diploma from Buchanan High instead of a GED from Cold Fields. Now how did that happen?”

“Ginny already had enough credits to graduate before she was arrested I simply pointed that out to Mr. Jergins,” he shrugged.

“While threatening to shove your foot up his ass?” I questioned with a knowing smirk.

“That may have entered the conversation,” he shrugged once again.  “Now let me get back to singing your praises.”

“Please stop.”

            “Ellie with all the back biting, gossiping and mud slinging that went on you would have thought Ginny had kidnapped the Lindberg baby,” he continued despite my pleas. “But you never wavered; you stuck by her letting everyone know that she was innocent. You went on graduating from college at the top of your class and now,” he was gushing at this point.

“When’s Mom coming home?”

“Let me say it?” He gloated. “Now my little girl is going to Harvard Law.”

“Again, Mom home when?” I pleaded.

“Soon,” he grunted. “She’s showing a house.”

“I can’t believe Mom got her real estate license.” I shook my head.

“She’s great at it,” Dad boasted while fumbling with the keys to the Chevy. I was going to miss that car. “With all the extra dough she’s making after we boot Sam off to college I can probably sell the shop and retire.”

“And I thought you were just happy that the kid’s voice finally changed.” I laughed.

“Want to come?” I nodded towards the car.

“No thanks I get to drive it all the time and I have the last trip to Framingham so enjoy, but I will help you wash her tomorrow.”  I said.

“It’s a deal.”

            I just finished cooking dinner for the family when my mother came home. “I cooked.” I said which earned me a hug.

“Thank you.” Mom sighed with relief.

“Sell the house?”

“Yes I did,” she beamed. “Where’s your father?” She questioned inspecting the meal I had prepared.

“Off in the Chevy.” I smiled.

“Ginny is going to bust a gut when you pick her up in that car,” Mom hummed.

“I should have been pushier about seeing her,” I mumbled under my breath. “After I turned twenty-one I should have done something.  Maybe if I tried harder or reamed her in a letter then maybe she would have given in.”

“You had school to worry about,” Mom scolded me. “Ellie she didn’t want you to see her in that place. She‘s changed a lot.”

“So have I,” I reasoned running my fingers through my now short hair which had darkened over the past couple of years. “How is she going to feel when I just show up when she gets sprung?”

“She’ll be thrilled,” Mom reassured me. “Just remember no stopping for burgers.  I’m cooking a huge dinner.”

“I’m a vegetarian,” I reminded her.

“How could I forget?” She grumbled. “Speaking of friends.”  I rolled my neck knowing that whenever Mom stressed the word friend I knew where the conversation was heading.  “I couldn’t help noticing your friend Martha hasn’t called or visited since you came home.  She didn‘t go with you to Europe either.”

“No she didn‘t,” I clenched my jaw. “We had a parting of the ways.” Which was code for we had a big fight and broke up just before finals. Hell I was pre law and she majored in Sociology and getting high. It was never going to work out. This was the point in the conversation where I was always left wondering just how far Mom was going to take our little chat.

“Oh that’s a shame.” She pretended to sympathize.

“Right,” I huffed.  “You never liked her.”

“Now that’s not true,” Mom lied like a rug. “Just because whenever she came over for dinner she accused me of slaughtering innocent animals what’s not to like?  At least your friend Carrie had manners. Sending you to an all girls college now that was just a brilliant idea.” She added under her breath.

“I thought so.” I whispered in response. I snickered when Mom glared at me.

“So,” she continued pretending nothing had happened. “This falling out with the tree hugger is that why you rented a studio instead of that much bigger and nicer apartment?”

“Yes.”

“Ellie you could just save your money,” she began in full force.

            “No,” I emphatically refused. “I’m not living here. Mom the few times I have come home during vacations we end up arguing. I love you and I want keep on loving you instead of looking for places to hide your body. Plus I will need peace and quiet to study.  The studio is in an okay neighborhood.”

“It’s in downtown hell.”

“A short subway ride from school,” I persisted.  “Near the public library.”

“It is not near the library,” she fussed. “And living by yourself?  You should just hang a sign in the filthy window announcing to every pot head in the neighborhood that you’re single woman living alone.”

“Where do you come up with this stuff?” I gaped at her.

“If you must live in the city,” she scowled.  “There’s always the dorm. Or better still a roommate might not be a bad idea. In fact you are picking up the perfect solution in a couple of days. Ginny is going to need to get back on her feet.”

            I stood there slacked jaw. Was it possible my mother was trying to fix me up?  “Uhm Mom,” I tentatively began. “I’m not entirely certain that Ginny is going to feel comfortable coming here for dinner and you want me to ask her to move in with me?”

“It was just a thought.”

            “Ginny means a lot to me. She always has. But the only contact we’ve had since the winter of ‘56 was writing to each other,” I tried to reason. I was already nervous about seeing her again but having Mom trying to get us to shack up was freaking me out.

“What about the dorms?” Mom changed the subject much to my relief.

“No thanks,” I waved off her suggestion. “I’ve had enough of communal living.”

            I stood there leaning against her car; checking my watch before, once again, glancing up at the huge stone walls, strings of barb wire and metal gates.  I had checked and rechecked all the information. I knew the time and the correct gate she would be departing from. A loud hum filled the air the large gates rattling open.  A group of scruffy looking women shuffled out. I held my breath trying to find her in the crowd.

            My heart stopped when I saw her. She looked taller and far too skinny. Her long blonde hair which I had almost always seen pulled back in a ponytail was hanging down past her shoulders with little braids in it. She was wearing a baggy sweatshirt and tattered jeans that didn’t fit her. She looked so sad standing there holding a paper sack looking towards the bus stop.  She shuffled towards it. I was just about to call out when suddenly she stopped and turned. It felt like she was looking through me as she mouthed the word ‘Wow’ then she smiled still not moving just standing there grinning.

“Want a ride?” I called out toying with her.  I was startled when several other women started heading towards me exclaiming that I could take them anywhere.

“Back off!” Ginny bellowed scaring my new fans away.  “Just so you know that’s not the best thing to shout at a bunch of women who just got out of the pokey.” She snickered approaching me.

“Good to know.” I smiled and tilted my shades so I could get a better look at her.  She had changed.  There was a sadness looming over her but I had to admit she still made my pulse race.

“Where to?” She eagerly bounced on her heels.

“That is entirely up to you,” I explained handing her the keys while taking the bag from her hands. “It’s your car. I’ll just take your luggage.”

“I can’t,” she frowned handing the keys back to me. “I don’t have a driver’s license. I’m not sure when I’ll be eligible to get one since I’m a felon.”

“I didn’t even think of that,” I apologized placing her sack in the backseat. “Well I guess I’m your chauffer then,” I explained walking her to the other side of the car and opening the door for her.  “Where to Ma’am?” I asked after settling myself behind the wheel.

“Back to 1956 so I can tar and feather my sister,” she scowled.

“Well Dad has kept this car in great shape for you,” I responded. “Still I doubt she can handle that. As much as it would please me.  What’s your second choice?”

“You look great,” she smiled.

“Thank you,” I blushed.

“Your hair is so short.”

“Oh that yeah I hacked it off a couple of years ago,” I sputtered my blush deepening. “Now where to milady?”

“Food?” She shyly requested. “Real food.”

            “Mom’s already cooking up a storm,” I answered suddenly realizing that she was asking permission.  I needed to tread lightly and stop forgetting things like Ginny hadn’t been afforded the privilege of making any decisions for almost five years. “Ginny I’m serious wherever you want to go and whatever you want to do we’ll do it.  Just tell me and I’ll take you anywhere.”

“I don’t know,” she confessed looking like a lost little girl. “Uhm you said your Mom is cooking so why don’t we head in that direction?”

“Okay,” I nodded patting her knee jerking my hand back when I felt her muscles tighten.

“Ellen it’s okay,” she mumbled putting my hand back on her knee. “It’s just I’ve been through some things you know?”

“Yeah I know,” I answered softly. “You told me in some of your letters.”

“Can we go?” She requested with a hard swallow.

“Onward and upward,” I promised. “And if you want to stop along the way just shout out. Like I said whatever you want to do I’m at your service.” I proclaimed putting the car in gear.     

            “This feels so freaking good!” She shouted two hours later leaning her head back. I was glad I had put the top down so she could just lean back and let the wind catch her hair. “Riding with the top down in the Cherry Mobile, you by my side and the wind in my air. You have no idea how many times I dreamt about doing just this. Look the woods!” She squealed as we neared our old make out spot.

“Wanna stop?” I coyly suggested.

“What about Martha?”

“Oh her,” I laughed turning into the deserted park. “Remember in your last letter you said I didn’t sound happy?” I asked slowing the car down to a crawl. “I wasn’t. We broke up.” I concluded pulling into our old spot by the lake. “What about Lila?” I asked killing the engine.

“She’s still in,” Ginny smiled slipping her arm up along the back of the seat. “We weren’t in love or anything. It was convenient.  I can’t believe how casual you are. Just pulling into the woods like it’s no big deal to go parking in the middle of the day.”

“Ginny the last time we were in this very spot,” I boldly began. “I was shy, innocent, a teenager and, oh yeah, a virgin. I’m not shy anymore, I’ve had a few birthdays and, thanks to a very special night in a little cabin in Vermont, I am no longer an innocent virgin. Now today is your day, we can just sit here and talk or go for a walk or,”

            She halted my words by pressing her fingers to my lips. “Ellen I just got out of prison trust me having a chat isn’t topping the list,” she shyly explained. “I’m just not sure that we should.  It might confuse things.”

“Or not,” I argued scrunching my brow. “Ginny we don’t have to.  And it’s okay if we do. I promise not to read too much into it. Like I said I’m not a confused teenager anymore.”

“No you’re not,” she sadly noted scooting a little closer. “You’ve been out in the world dating and stuff.”

“Well so did you,” I grimly noted.

“Not as much as you might think,” she stammered. “It isn’t like the movies or those cheesy books.  Most of the girls are straight and not interested in dabbling. Plus I wasn’t interested in a most of the girls I met.”

“So you misled me?” I grimaced feeling a little foolish.  “All those letters you lied to me so I would start dating again?”

“Yes,” she quietly confessed. “I wasn’t a saint either.  A girl gets lonely.  I just exaggerated at times.  I didn’t want you wasting your life.”

“Wasn’t your call to make,” I tenderly informed her. “Today is. This moment. We can talk, go for a walk or you can kiss me.”

“Just like that?” She shook her head.

“Yeah, just like that,” I shrugged trying to make her feel comfortable. I was dying to kiss her again and I cared enough about her not to.  “No strings.”

            She was trembling as she reached for me.  Her entire body quivered when she brushed her lips against mine. I could feel her hesitation so I let her lead guiding me to her slowly kissing me until I felt the shyness slipping away. I started caressing her.  In some way I felt our roles had been reversed this time I guided her slowing the pace whenever I felt I might be overwhelming her.  With the sun beating down on us we crawled into the backseat. I slowly undressed her kissing her newly exposed flesh before removing my clothing.

            I hovered above her dragging my blunt nails along her flesh; teasing her nipples before I began kissing my way down her body. She whispered my name when I draped her legs over my shoulders. I drank in the musky aroma of her passion before burying my face between her thighs. I licked her slowly my body reeling from her taste.  I teased her stroking her with an agonizing slowness until she guided me deeper inside her.

            It felt so good feeling her passion spilling over me while she cried out my name.  I fought to keep my emotions in check. I loved her so much the first time we made love. And I felt my heart swelling when she began touching me; loving me until I had nothing left to give.  I cradled her in my arms both of us lying naked completely exposed in the backseat of her car. It would have been so easy to just go with my heart.  So much had happened and so much was yet to happen. In many ways we were still growing up. Ginny had only been afforded the luxury of riding in a car and smelling the fresh air for less than half a day.  For the moment I had to sit back and wait to see where the road would lead us.

“If we don’t get moving soon Mom is going to call out the National Guard,” I ruefully informed her.  We got dressed and got back on the road. “They want you to stay with them.” I tossed out as we neared my old neighborhood.  “My parents they said that you could stay with them.”

“I guess I could,” she furrowed her brow. “I need a place to live. I have to find a job and so many things. God five years ago my life was set in stone. Now I don’t know which way to turn.”

“We’ll get through this,” I promised as I pulled into the driveway.

            “You’re too skinny,” Mom announced when she finally stopped hugging Ginny.

“You say that every time you see me,” Ginny blushed.

“Ellie take Ginny’s stuff up to the guest room.”

‘The guestroom well there’s one little hope that’s been dashed.’ I silently grumbled. “Come on Ginny.” I instructed taking her by the hand and guiding to the guestroom which was conveniently located on the opposite side of the house from my bedroom. “Here you go,” I announced after closing the door and handing her the sack. “What is in there anyways?”

“My worldly possessions,” she sighed. “A couple of cards from your folks, some books, every letter you sent me and the clothes I was wearing the night I was arrested.”

“Oh my God there’s a poodle skirt and a tiny cashmere sweater in there?” I gasped trying not to laugh.

“And saddle shoes and bobby socks.” She confirmed with a grimace. “Man what were we thinking?”

“I don’t believe we were thinking.” I laughed. “I could take you shopping? I’m sticking around till the end of the week.”

“Oh?”

            “I got an apartment in town,” I explained. “Someplace near school. You could crash there. It’s a bit small but you’d have a little more freedom.” I didn’t miss the apprehensive look in her eyes. “I’m not proposing just offering a place where you can crash. You know I understand it’s been a long time. We’ve changed. Things have changed. I just want you to know that you are welcome to stay with me.  Just think about it. For now Mom has cooked enough food to feed a small world nation. We should get downstairs.”

“Wow!” Ginny exclaimed looking at all the food.

“Now there’s pot roast, turkey, roast beef, mashed potatoes, ribs and lots of vegetables for this one,” she nudged me.

“I don’t eat meat.”

“Why not?” Ginny gaped at me.

“The tree hugger,” Dad grunted taking his place at the table. “Let’s eat.”

 “Mr. & Mrs. Druette I can’t thank you enough, not just for the food, but for everything,” Ginny quietly offered.

“Ginny you’re a part of this family; now sit before your food gets cold,” Mom tenderly instructed her just as Sammy entered the room.

“Sam?” Ginny was flustered.

“Hi Ginny,” he squeaked his voice still struggling between a boy and a young adult.

“Hey!” I barked when I noticed where his beady little eyes were focused.  He shrugged innocently as I took my seat knocking him away from snagging the seat next to Ginny.

“Now why are you yelling at your brother?” Mom fussed.

“Because he’s a pervert.” I growled.

“Uhm, Sam she has a point,” Ginny cringed slightly. “At eight it was a little cute now that you’re a teenager it’s not so cute.”

“I’m sorry Ginny.” He respectfully apologized.

“What did he do?” Dad began to question before clenching his jaw. “Do it again and your grounded and we start calling you Scooter again.”

“I’m sorry,” Sammy sheepishly repeated.

            “I think I could sleep for a week,” Ginny yawned when I walked her to her room.

“Then sleep for a week,” I suggested.

“Too much to do,” she yawned. “I have to start job hunting and if you don’t mind could you drive me over to Arlington?  I’d like to visit Nat’s grave.”

“Just name the day,” I quickly volunteered. “Sandy wanted to get together.  I told her I’d check with you.”

“Out with people?” She shook her head in disbelief.  “I’m really free aren’t I?”

“Yes you are.”

            The following morning none of us realized that Ginny had gotten up at the crack of dawn. She got dressed and just sat on the edge of her bed waiting until I finally checked on her.  It was a routine she would repeat every day.  When I took her out to buy clothes we barely managed to purchase anything when she broke out into a cold sweat.

            “I have to warn you about Sandy, she’s been partying a lot,” I explained on the drive over.

“More than before?”

“Yeah after her Dad died suddenly her mother decided to come home and never leave the house,” I related the strange turn of events. “She’s been up Sandy’s butt nonstop and Sandy is thinking of ways to poison her.”

“I’m going out!” We heard Sandy bellowing when we approached the front door. Ginny jumped back in fright when Sandy flung open the door.

“Who with?” We could hear her mother demanding from somewhere inside the expansive house.

“A lesbian and a convict!” Sandy gleefully blared. “Maybe that’ll kill you.  Meddling old bat. Don’t worry that won’t kill her. Last week I told her I’m dating a Negro and having his baby and she didn’t even break a sweat.”

“My God you weren’t kidding she is trying to kill her,” Ginny sputtered.

“No,” Sandy waved off the notion. “Just inching her closer to the grave. I thought she was horrible for never being around now I dream of those days. Come here Ginny girl.” She demanded wrapping poor Ginny up in a hug. She politely stepped back when Ginny resisted. “Sorry can’t be easy.” She tenderly apologized. “Fucking great you brought the Cherry Mobile!”

“Ginny insisted.”

“Lead on we need to party,” Sandy demanded.  “You driving Ginny Girl?”

“Can’t.”

“Fuckers well Ellen I guess you can’t get tight tonight,” Sandy laughed climbing into the car. “This car is still the bomb.”

“It looks better than when I left,” Ginny remarked slipping into the passenger seat.

“Dad’s been lovingly taking care of it for you,” I offered starting up the engine.  “Where to?”

“Just drive over the town line that’s where all the hip clubs are,” Sandy instructed. “Oh wait what about that place? You know the one you like Ellen? The gay bar?”

“Gay bar?” Ginny stammered. “Uhm, you know I’ve spent the last five years been groped by strange women. How about something a little more subdued?”

“That leaves out the stripper bar,” Sandy sighed. “Mac’s place; that’s quiet and the drinks are killer.”

“I don’t have an ID,” Ginny sighed.

“Not to worry Mac’s never cards,” Sandy boasted. “I started going there with Bobby right before he shipped out.”

“Bobby’s enlisted?” Ginny fearfully questioned.

“Drafted.” I groaned.

“Dumb ass keeps re-upping,” Sandy groused.

            The party was in full swing for Sandy at least.  I could see how nervous Ginny was. “You were right Sandy likes to party hard,” Ginny commented as we sat at the bar watching our friend bounce from one guy to the next. “And not just booze either. Speak of the devil.” She snickered when Sandy plopped down beside her and wrapped her arm around Ginny’s shoulder.

“What your sister is here?” Sandy laughed. “Hey why don’t we ditch this place and go to Belmont. Pay a little visit to the princess? Bet her uptight hubby would just love to hear all about how you took the fall for her.”

“She’s married?” Ginny questioned almost seeming not to care. “I heard she dropped out of Stanford.”

“Flunked out is more like it,” Sandy blew out.

“Probably math.” I deduced.

“She got married last year I think,” Sandy tried to remember.  “Now she’s a young republican housewife with poofy hair.”

“It’s true you should see her hair it’s huge,” I rolled my eyes. 

“Good for her.” Ginny just shrugged it off.

“You are a saint,” Sandy boasted waving for the bartender. “I swear the two of you are the only decent people left in this bunghole town. And this one is leaving.”

“So am I,” Ginny offered with a lopsided grin. “It isn’t personal Sandy, but since everyone in town is locking up their children every time I go out for a walk I think it is time to move on.”

            My heart sank. I knew that staying was driving her nuts, but I had hoped that she would accept my offer. For the second time in my life I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her. “So where to?” Sandy prodded.

“For now I’m crashing at Ellen’s new pad.” She shyly confessed.

“The cracker box?” Sandy gasped.

“It is a studio.” I quickly corrected.

“Hey my last pad was a five by nine cell,” Ginny laughed. “Trust me a studio in the city will be like staying at the Ritz.”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Sandy prattled on. “You don’t even care that Ellen’s gay.”

            Ginny choked on the glass of Tab she had been nursing while I simply blinked with surprise. It had never occurred to me that Sandy hadn’t figured things out after I came out to her a couple of years ago. “Speaking of bad math,” I slowly began.  “Uhm Sandy you didn’t know?”

“Know what?” She asked.

“You didn’t tell her?” Ginny questioned me almost amused by the situation.

“I thought she had figured it out,” I confessed. “I mean I assumed that when I told her about me that she’d put two and two together.  Everyone else in town assumed it after you were sent away.”

“Hey I’m sitting right here!” Sandy barked. “Assumed what?”

“The trip to Vermont,” Ginny tried to prod her. “You know just me and Ellen alone together.”

“I assumed that you went skiing,” Sandy sputtered with a slight blush. “Ellen you said you went skiing.  You’ve never lied to me before.”

“Oh yes I did,” I laughed. “Every Sunday.” 

“Freaking A!” Sandy screamed she paused to catch her breath. “The two of you were dating back then? I had no idea.  Oh that is so sweet you waited for her. Now you’re together again. It’s like a movie.”

“No it isn’t,” Ginny quickly corrected. “I’m crashing with Ellen until I can find a job. Neither of us really waited.”

“Suck the wind out of my joy,” Sandy scoffed.  “Well I will just have to light a candle cause I’m not giving up on the two of you.”

            It was about three in the morning when we carried Sandy into her house and put her to bed before driving back to my parents.  “I thought you quit,” I scolded my mother when we found her sneaking a smoke out on the front porch.

“I thought you did too.” She waved her hand.

“I did.  The bar was smoky,” I sighed.

“It’s true Mrs. Druette Eleanore didn’t smoke,” Ginny confirmed.

“How is Sandy? Passed out?” Mom grunted.

“Yeah,” I confirmed taking a seat on the steps pleased when Ginny joined me.

“I don’t know what it is with these kids,” Mom groaned. “All the gibber jabbering that has gone on in this town about the two of you and you’re the only ones worth a damn. That Margie for example.  Like anyone believed she had gained a little weight just before the wedding. And the baby being premature, my ass.”

“Mom.” I laughed.

“What?” She scoffed.

“Don’t ever change.”

            That weekend we moved into my very small studio. Ginny was still stand-offish.  We slept in the same bed. Actually it was a mattress I had put on the floor. We didn’t touch.  I would awake every morning to find her neatly dressed sitting on the edge of the mattress. I knew I couldn’t push her. She needed to find her way. It tore me up that I couldn’t just say the right thing and make the pain go away.  I had to sit back and let her readjust to the world.

            I encouraged her to go out while I was in classes. Every day she went out pounding the pavement desperately seeking gainful employment.  She couldn’t catch a break. Her record clung to her like an albatross.  The first Sunday I blinked open my eyes. Once again I found her just sitting there waiting to be told it was alright for her to move.  “Ginny,” I croaked out. I had been up all night studying. “It is Sunday morning. I’m not getting up for at least a few more hours. If you want to go and do something do it.  If you want to crawl back into bed you can.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled shifting nervously. “It’s weird. For five years I couldn’t go to the bathroom without asking for permission first.”

“If you have to do that, feel free,” I smacked my lips. “I’m tired and I’m going back to sleep. Acting like a slug on Sunday mornings is one of my favorite things in life. Have you ever tried it?”

“No,” she sheepishly admitted.

“Well would you like to?” I encouraged pulling back the blankets.

            She meekly nodded her head and stood. I sighed happily watching her undress.  “Should I turn around?” I suddenly questioned fearful that I was invading her privacy.

“I got something you haven’t seen before?” She quipped with a rakish grin. For the briefest moment I caught a glimpse of the old Ginny.  Then she quickly retreated. Shedding her clothing and climbing back under the covers.

            I blew out a terse breath. Watching Ginny removing her clothing had been intriguing enough but having her lying completely naked just an arm’s length away was sheer torture. “So what exactly does one do when they sleep in?” She seriously questioned.

“Uhm,” I gulped feeling flustered. “Well sleep is the first order of business. Then I get up shuffle to the kitchen and brew a big pot of coffee. Hopefully the Sunday paper has been delivered and not stolen. I go through the whole thing front to back. I could lie and say that I read all of the top news stories first. The truth is I read the funnies and do the crossword first and save the rest for later.  Then if I feel up to it I go out for a walk, maybe do some shopping or catch a movie.  It is all your fault really.”

“My fault?” She shook her head.

“Setting aside Sundays for self pleasure is something you brought into my world,” I smiled boldly stealing a shy glimpse at her cleavage which was just peeking out from beneath the blankets.  “How would you like to spend your Sunday morning?”

“I don’t know,” she glumly confessed picking at the blanket. She released an exasperated sigh before she began to pout.

            I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t used to entertaining someone so early in the day. Even when I was involved I didn’t tend to entertain overnight guests.  And when I did at seven something on a Sunday morning I’d still be sleeping. It was the one day of the week I dedicated to self indulgence. “I’m going to sleep.” I finally grumbled turning over fearful that I would give into the temptation lying beside me.  I bit back a groan when my backside accidentally bumped into her naked form.

            Ginny continued to fidget. She got up once or twice scanning my books looking for something to read.  Nothing seemed to appeal to her and she climbed back into bed.  She shifted, tossed and turned completely disrupting my attempt to go back to sleep.  “Yeah okay,” I finally groused pulling back the blankets and glaring at her. “What would you like to do?” I demanded.  My lungs seized; my body stunned when I found myself captured in a major lip lock.

“Not that I’m complaining,” I gulped snuggling closer to her while trying to catch my breath.  The searing kiss had caught me off guard.  Damn that girl still knew how to kiss me senseless. 

“You said I could do whatever I wanted,” she glibly explained.

            I gazed up at her and there it was again. The tone of her voice; the brilliant sparkle in her eyes. The girl I had fallen madly in love with was still in there. 

“It is a nifty way to wake up,” I quickly asserted when the sparkle in her eyes began to dim.  The old Ginny may still be in there, but she was lurking behind some very dark shadows.  “We could,” I began hoping to encourage her. My words were cut off when she pressed her fingers against my trembling lips.

            “Ssh.  I’m very scared,” she confessed in just above a whisper.  “I don’t know who I am anymore. Five years ago I lost everything.  My innocence or guilt doesn’t matter.  I lost those years.  I spent them simply existing not living, not feeling just functioning and nothing more.  Now that I’m free I can’t shake the hollow feeling.  I have no idea where I’m going. All I know is there has been only one constant since I walked out of prison. The desire to make love to you is the only thing I feel certain about.”  She concluded her fingers slipping from my lips.

“Go with it,” I almost pleaded.

            She cupped my face in her hands. A ghost of a smile crossed her lips, alerting me that she was still frightened. Her kiss was soft and tender. I willingly allowed her to lead the dance.  I fought against my carnal desire to be more aggressive fearing that I would scare her.  She took things slowly kissing my cheeks, my eyes and my lips. Her kisses drifted to my chin. I shivered from the slow tender caressing. My head tilted back when her soft lips found their way to my neck.

            I was struggling; fighting against the temptation to turn the tables and ravish her. During her absence I had been forever changed by my experiences. I was no longer swept away by a heated embrace. I discovered many delights and wished to share all of them with her.  Still her quiet inquisitive touch ignited a fire deep inside of me.  Ginny’s soft caresses made me feel more alive than any of my past torrid encounters.  I expelled a calming breath allowing her to remove my nightshirt.

            She lowered me down onto the mattress again her movements possessed a tender slowness. She pulled back the blankets revealing my half naked body.  I licked my lips eager to feel her touch.  She hovered above me dragging her blunt nails down along my exposed flesh. Her eyes were filled with wonderment as she watched her fingers tracing my skin.  She was killing me.  Just being around her for the past week had left me wanting and now she seemed determined to drag out my agony.  It was such a delightful torture.

            I had been on the verge of climaxing from her first kiss and now her fingers were tracing the elastic band of my panties. I squirmed beneath her unable to ebb my raging desire. My entire body was quivering. I reached out to touch her.  She gently brushed my hands aside. I groaned with disappointment. “Sorry,” she murmured her eyes still riveted on her fingers. “I just really need to take my time.  You have no idea how many nights I dreamt about this moment.”

“You’re killing me,” I squeaked out with a hard swallow. I released a sharp gasp when her fingers brushed against the thin cotton of my panties.

            She simply sighed contently dipping her head. Her tongue slowly traced the swell of my breasts her nimble fingers brushing against my underwear taunting me.  My breathing became ragged. I gave into the feel of the tip of her tongue slowly flickering against my erect nipple.  I felt her hand slipping deeper between my thighs. I grasped the sheet clenching my fists my body rocking against her hand grinding against my throbbing clit.

            I could feel her trembling nudging my thighs further apart. She nestled her body between my thighs; instinctively I wrapped my legs around her waist. Her hands and lips continued their maddening ministrations.  My body arched pressing my breast against her mouth. Ginny murmured with delight accepting my offer.  I felt alive, my body burning from her touch her fingers slipping inside of my panties dipping into my wetness.

            My frustrated growl echoed throughout the room when she lowered my body back down onto the mattress. Her touches and body slipping away.  She intentionally hovered just above me without making contact with my overheated body.  Her eyes were hooded with desire as she gazed down upon me.  My lungs seized when she slowly lowered herself.  She captured me in a searing kiss frustrating me even further; keeping her just a hairs breath away from touching mine.

“Ginny,” I whispered against her lips cupping her face in my hands. My heart soared when she let me touch her. I drew her closer.  She kissed me again and again. Our bodies melted together and our limbs quickly becoming entwined. 

            We swayed urgently against one another.  I felt her desire painting my skin.  Kissing and caressing became our main focus. She slipped her hand between our bodies.  She wrestled her body from my clinging embrace. I shivered my skin prickling as she kissed my shoulders moving from one to the other before running her hands down along the curves of my body.  Ginny’s face lit up when she hooked her fingers in my underwear.

            Her face was flushed with desire as she rolled my panties down my thighs.  I parted my thighs after she discarded my underwear.  She brushed her fingers against my wetness. I rolled my hips in response.  She parted my slick folds with her fingers. I cried out when she ran her fingers along my swollen nether lips.  A soft groan escaped me when her fingers brushed against my engorged nub.  “Oh Ginny,” I began to rant repeatedly thrusting my body against her touch.

            She murmured my name softly before slipping inside of me. My ears were ringing the world suddenly spiraling out of control.  My body matched her wild rhythm as she glided in and out of me.  She had driven me to the brink of insanity by taunting and teasing me. When she finally took me I was lost. My mind was filled with a flash of colors as my body erupted.

“Will you do something for me?” She cooed in my ear.

“Anything,” I helplessly whimpered.

“Will you?” She stammered her voice suddenly timid.  I could feel her body moving higher.

            “Come here,” I choked out already knowing what she wanted. “Oh Ginny. You don’t have to ask.” I panted guiding her closer. The musky aroma of her passion greeted me when she straddled my face. I clasped her backside; eagerly drawing her to my lips.  I feasted upon her like a starving animal her taste driving me higher. My body trembled along with hers. 

The feel of her passion washing over me did nothing to yield my touch.

            She pulled away capturing me in her arms. Soon we were rolling around unable to stop touching and tasting one another. The morning gave way to our long denied passion.  We couldn’t stop until our bodies had nothing left to offer.  We spent the remainder of the day cuddling and caressing. The day was perfect except for one glaring blemish. There was no talk of what we had just shared.  Nestled closely listening to the steady beating of her heart I could only hope that this was the first step in returning to what we had once shared.

             In the beginning it was great and I started hoping that once we really got to know one another again we might have a chance. But I had to study all of the time. Ginny was having a hell of time finding a job. It is hard when you have to write on your application that you are a convicted felon.  Then there was the tiny space we were sharing. I could see it in her eyes the walls were closing in on her. 

            I understood she was growing uneasy.  I accepted that I would enjoy whatever time we had left together. One afternoon I returned from class to find the shower running.  I was sporting an impish smile when I shed my clothing and snuck into the shower.  She yelped spinning around with her fists drawn.

“Whoa!” I shouted holding up my hands.

“Crap! Ellen, I’m sorry,” she sputtered quickly retreating before clutching her heart. “Sneaking up on someone in the shower just after they got out of prison isn‘t a wise thing to do.”

“Ginny, I’m sorry,” I quickly blurted out instantly realizing that my little venture was a major faux pas. “I’ll get out.”

“No,” she laughed relaxing slightly. “I was startled. Since you’re here how about washing my back?”

            The shower turned into a fun evening. Still it was little things that reminded us that things could never be the same.  We tried to settle into our lives.  My studies were demanding and Ginny’s world was stilted.  I think she was trying to fight it as well.  But each of us could sense the end was nearing.

            After saving a little bread from the only job she could get which was bagging groceries she announced it was time for her to be moving on.  After we made love one last time I told her to keep the key to the studio and I gave her a key to a post office box I had rented in both of our names.

“This way we can keep in touch,” I explained. “And I can forward your mail whenever you need me too or when you’re in town you can pick it up. And when you’re in town you better stop by.”

“Hey I just need to spread my wings,” she smiled.  “I want to see things, do things. Here I’m just in the way. Don’t,” she pressed her fingers to my lips halting the protest I was about to spew. “I’m not walking out of your life I promise, I’ll be back.”

            The following morning I put her on a train heading west. Putting her on that train was the hardest thing I had ever done. Knowing that it was what she needed was a small comfort.

            “My God you do go here,” Ron taunted taking a seat next to me.  I had been studying in the library all day.  “You know I thought my old prom date was attending the same law school as me. But since she hasn’t had time to even do lunch or study with me I thought it was a myth. Like the Loch Ness monster.”

“Very funny,” I shook my head almost laughing at his antics. “Come on we’ll get coffee.”

“You mean you’ll be seen with little old me?” He continued in a hushed tone.

“Not if you keep acting like a goober,” I scolded him.

            We packed up and headed towards Dunster Street for coffee. “Seriously Ellen,” he began pouring a ton of sugar into his coffee. “When I found out that the both of us were coming here I was stoked. Then you spend part of the summer in Europe. For which I forgive you.”

“I saw you over the summer.” I shake my head sipping my freshly brewed cup of java.

“And then nada,” he wagged his finger at me. “I thought hey Ellen’s going to Harvard. That means I will know at least one person there. Someone I could hangout with or study with but you just vanished last semester. I mean I saw you in class but other than that you were a regular Claude Reins.”

“Couldn’t be helped,” I cringed. “I had a houseguest.”

“Oh?” He smiled giving me a thumbs up. “Is he someone special?”

“He?” I choked on my coffee.  “What? Oh man I keep forgetting we’re not in Kansas anymore. Or should I say Cedar Hills. I thought you knew. Or at least had done the math.”

“What am I missing?” He shook his head.

“This is such a bummer,” I rolled my neck. I was hoping that after all these years Ron wouldn’t turn out to be a jerk. “Let me answer your first question. Yes, she is special. But I always thought that she was.”

“She,” came the deadpan response.  He nodded his head thoughtfully stroking the stumble he mistakenly called a beard. “That explains so much. Why didn’t you just tell me?” He blew out casually.

“I thought you knew,” I answered honestly.  “Weren’t you a tiny bit suspicious?  Every time I blew back into town I had a different woman on my arm. Who did you think they were?”

“Friends,” he shrugged.  “Well that’s a downer. My old girlfriend has probably slept with more women than I have.”

“Probably.” I couldn’t help but gloat. His jaw dropped and I thought my comment had really scored. That was until he started flailing his arms.

“You rat fink,” he sputtered. “Man that is sneaky. I knew you were messing around when we were dating.”

“You said no other guys,” I quickly interjected.  “I complied with the terms of the contract.” Yeah just had to throw some legal jargon in there.

“You tricked me,” he fussed. “Man O’ man the whole time I was looking for the guy who was scamming my girl. It didn’t occur to me that you were scoring a touchdown in one of the Cherry Mobiles. Don’t deny it the two of you were as thick as thieves. Again don’t forget you are under oath.”

“Since I’m under oath,” I taunted him with a rakish grin. “It was both Cherry Mobiles.”

“You suck.” He growled.

“No I don’t which is why I was riding around with the twins,” I beamed. “But to set the record, pardon the expression, straight. I never ever rounded the bases in either car.”

“Both twins, you’re a legend,” he sighed clutching his heart. “In fact you’re my hero.”

            “If I may clarify for the record counselor,” I groaned. “I only messed around with Laurie just a little bit and only once. Because as we all know she’s a lunatic.  Ginny was a different story. And no not in the car.  We saved it for our little outing up to Vermont. Oh wait that’s a lie.” I suddenly stopped myself recalling the side trip into the woods a few months ago.  “I did do the deed in one of the Chevy’s but that was very recent and shouldn’t be held against me.  I mean the poor girl just got out of prison.”

“Ginny’s home?”

“Was,” I grimaced. “She got sprung just before last semester began.”

“And?” He prompted.

            “And,” I sighed wearily. “Too much time, too much water under the bridge and a long ass list of other lame reasons. Basically we’ve grown apart and she felt suffocated here.  She’s somewhere in California last I heard.  We keep in touch as best we can.  Just wasn’t meant to be I guess. Of course I probably should have realized that sooner. Like when she was carted off to prison only a few days after I lost my virginity to her.  If that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is.”

“Injustice.” He glumly supplied.

“I don’t know,” I frowned. “Ginny and I talked about things. You know if it didn’t happen what were the chances we would have survived. More than likely we would have crashed and burned like most high school sweethearts.”

“You mean like my parents?” He chided me. “Oh no wait they’re still together. In fact they just celebrated their twenty-second wedding anniversary.”

“Ever do the math on that one Ron?” I cut him to the quick not wanting to admit that he might be right. Accepting that Ginny and I were never meant to be was a lot easier than thinking that we might have made it.

“I’d rather not,” he groaned. “If anyone asks I was premature. And it doesn’t change the fact that they are still madly in love with one another. Just because you met when you were so young doesn’t mean anything.”

“Objection. Stop badgering the witness,” I demanded. My shoulders slumped. I loved him dearly but at that moment I wanted to smack him one. “I can’t go there. Not without a time machine.  If it is meant to be then it will happen. For now I have to let her go.”

“I’m sorry,” Ron offered clasping my hand.

            It was nice to have him back in my life. It was even better than it was in high school now that I could be honest with him. He took my sexuality in stride and we became very close friends. He was right it was nice having a friendly face on campus.

            Ginny kept her word and wrote to me as often as she could. Her life on the West Coast was only a little more freeing.  She still seemed to be struggling.  The only jobs she could find were menial to say the least. She said she was happy to be living in the outside world. Soon even the vast expanse of the West proved too confining.

              I felt good that even during her absence she was never really out of my life.  I’d get letters detailing her travels, once she had bought a beat up van and sent me postcards from every hole in the wall and tacky tourist attraction along Route 66. A part of me was envious another part grew more and more excited when the postcards were arriving from locations closer and closer to home. One day there was a knock on the door and there she stood holding up a postcard from Boston.

“You’re late.” I scolded her in a mocking tone.

“Traffic was a bitch.” She wryly answered.

            Then we asked the questions which would become a staple for each time she rolled into town. “How long are you staying?” I questioned praying that I didn’t sound too eager.

“Don’t know,” she’d always shrugged before posing her question. “So am I interrupting anything or pissing someone off by crashing here.”

“No,” I reassured her. “So, you coming in?”

“Okay,” she smirked. I shivered slightly when she waltzed into my tiny home and dumped her duffle bag in the corner.

“Still carrying that old thing?” I laughed glancing over at my Dad’s old navy bag.

“Are you criticizing my luggage?” She retorted with a gasp. “All my worldly possessions are in there. Sans the poodle skirt I left at your folks. So what’s for dinner?”

            It was great to see that the spark in her eyes was returning.  She was far more relaxed and confident than she was the last time I had seen her. Yet there was still a darkness lurking before her smile. ‘Give her time.’  I silently reminded myself.  I grimaced when I realized she was expecting an answer to her query. “Uhm you know that’s a good question,” I nodded knowing that my cupboards were bare. 

“I could take us out,” she suggested. “I still have a little bread left from my journey.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I waved her off. “I’ll call and have something delivered.”

“Are you sure?”

“It was what I had planned on doing anyways,” I confessed. I retreated into the little corner I called my kitchen and began flipping through a bunch of menus. “So how did the van hold up?”

“Great. Until I was just outside of Tulsa,” she glibly explained. “Some old dude bought her for parts. I hitched the rest of the way.”

“That’s dangerous,” I mumbled knowing she wouldn’t pay me any heed.

“Got me here.” She boasted.

“Chinese?”

“Sounds good,” she sighed slumping down on the mattress and kicking off her boots. “What is going on?” She questioned glancing at the tiny black and white television I had resting on top of a milk crate.

“Apparently we decided to invade Cuba,” I groaned. “Didn’t go well. Haven’t you been watching the news?”

“Not really,” she sighed watching the events. “Been busy just trying to get here.  So why did we invade Cuba?”

“It was there,” I shrugged. “And it’s full of Commies.” I added mimicking my Dad.

“Oh well then they had it coming,” she chuckled pulling off her boots.

            I dialed the restaurant and placed a large order to be delivered. “Food should be here in about half an hour,” I offered crossing the room to join her.

“Sounds like heaven,” she smiled up at me.  I kneeled before her curious if my advances would be welcomed. “Uhm,” she pulled back. 

“Sorry,” I quickly apologized.

“Not you,” she smirked. “I’ve been going nonstop.  Honestly I stink.”

“Oh?” I laughed mildly relieved. I sniffed and I had to agree with her. “The bathroom is in the same place.” I nodded.

“You’re the best.”

“Yeah I’m a freaking saint,” I scowled pulling her up. “Now go get clean.” I demanded swatting her on the butt.

            It was a nice albeit short visit. It didn’t take long for her restlessness to kick in. Then she was off; this time I put her on a train heading south.  She wrote when she could. She visited when she could. It wasn’t what I had hoped for still every time I saw or heard from her I felt complete.

            Over the passage of time Ginny tried to time her visits so that the both of us would be single. If we weren’t it made for an interesting visit. We’d still sleep together in the mattress laid out on the floor that I insisted was a bed.  But all we did was sleep.  Despite everything she had lived through and seen Ginny still possessed a sense of honor.  I hated it at times. Sleeping beside her not being able to touch her was hell. Not to mention how poorly my girlfriends would react to the unorthodox situation.  I wanted to grab Ginny by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. Tell her that I would happily break up with whomever if she would stay.  She never did.  She hung around just long enough to grow uncomfortable and then she’d be off again.

TBC

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