Title: My Life as a Sorceress

Author/pseudonym: Willowluvyr

Fandom: Xena, Warrior Princess and Crossover with the world of Lawrence Watt-Evans

Pairings: Xena and Gabrielle.

Rating: PG

Status: Short Story

Archive:  I would like for this story to be included in the archive.

E-mail address for feedback: willowluvyr@yahoo.com 

Series/Sequel: New Series

Other websites: none.

Copyright Disclaimers: Xena and Gabrielle are the property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. Tobas and Peren are the creation of Lawrence Watt-Evans. The story is purely for entertainment purposes. The author does not benefit financially in any way from this story.

Violence Warning/Disclaimer: This story depicts scenes of violence and/or their aftermath. Readers who are disturbed by or sensitive to this type of depiction may wish to read something other than this story.

Love Sex Warning/Disclaimer: There are blatant discussions, references and description of sexual relations between consenting adults. You must be over the age of 18 and it must not be a crime to read material of this nature at your present location. If this bothers you, you should find other reading material.


Note: My thanks to my beta reader Katia for her wonderful help in writing this piece.


Summary: Gabrielle finds a curious looking book. Inside it has a spell that can start fires. When she tries it, she is transported to a world of dragons and magic. Where she must survive until Xena can find a sorcerer and convince him to bring her lover home.


Gabrielle asked for the last time, "Are you sure that you don’t want to come? I’m sure you’d find the Damascus Bazaar exciting."


Xena frowned and said, "You know I hate shopping and you can do better without me. I just like to get what I want and leave."


Gabrielle knew this to be true and sighed, "Okay, but I want you to meet me in two hours, no matter what. You may have to pull me away from the place. Oh, and no drinking contests or fighting. I want to sleep inside tonight and I don’t want to be escorted out of town before I test that lovely bed in the room we rented."


Xena raised an eyebrow with a pouty face, but Gabrielle reinforced her statement with a finger poking the Warrior Princess’s chest, "Don’t give me that look. I mean it Xena. If I have to sleep outside tonight, you will sleep away from me for two months."


Gabrielle wandered from booth to booth examining the wares and haggling over coppers to get all the supplies they needed with limited means. Finally, she came to a very interesting booth. It traded in the written word. It had books and scrolls from all over the world. It even had two of her scrolls that she had lost some time ago. The young blonde exclaimed, "These are my scrolls, how did you get them?"


The owner of the booth looked dubiously at the green-eyed woman and retaliated, "What do you mean your scrolls?"


The fiery blonde held her ground and replied, "I wrote them. These were stolen from me some time ago. I ask again. Where did you get them?"


The owner looked around. It was not good to be caught in this city with stolen property, so he decided to tell her the truth, "I bought ten scrolls originally. I purchased them from a young female thief named..."


Gabrielle interrupted with a snarl, "Tara!"


The agitated owner wanted to make amends and get this possible trouble far from his booth, so he proposed, "Your stories have sold very well. So, I will make a deal with you. You can have any two books or five scrolls from my booth in recompense for your property."


Gabrielle smiled an evil smile that made the booth owner squirm as she said, "Let me look at your wares and then we’ll strike a bargain."


Gabrielle walked away from the booth with two fine books, ten blank scrolls and two hundred dinars. She sold him twenty of her finest scrolls. Xena would be happy, she hoped.


Gabrielle happily walked into the inn and a bar fight. Xena was holding a small warrior over her head ready to smash him to the ground when she spotted her small lover tapping her foot with her arms folded across her chest. Xena smiled shyly and drop her would be victim and stammered, "They started it."


Gabrielle was fuming! She was sitting in a camp and not in her bed, plus she had to use her two hundred dinars for damages. She sat glaring daggers at her truculent lover. Every time Xena started to apologize, her young lover would raise her hand to silence any speech. Finally, Gabrielle relented and said, "I can’t believe it Xena. I begged you not to get into any trouble. I told you I wanted to sleep in that nice warm bed. Not only that, but you cost me my two hundred dinars!"


Xena looked at her feet and raised her head slightly and replied, "I’m sorry, Baby, but that guy groped me and you know how I hate to be touched."


Gabrielle intensified her glare and asked, "A polite don’t touch or maybe a slap on the hand would have sufficed. Was it necessary to throw him through a window?"


Xena looked sheepishly at her feet and responded, "I’m so sorry, I can make it up to you."


Gabrielle rose to her feet and stood with her feet apart and arms on her hips in front of her dark love and said with a finger for emphasis, "Oh no, don’t even think about it for another two months. You sleep over there and I sleep here. Maybe Argo will forgive you, though I doubt it. She seemed happy in that comfortable stall."


As they went to bed, Xena slyly asked, "Gabby, where did you get the two hundred dinars?"


The blonde fury didn’t want to lose any momentum with the truth that might upset her lover, so she said, "Go to sleep. I don’t want to talk to you anymore."


During the night the desert was cold and the fire had gone out. Gabby remembered the words from the book she had gotten from the peddler. ‘To make a fire from nothing at night. Say the words for a morning light. Calefacio’


The young bard stared at the dying embers and said, "Calefacio!"


The campfire burst into flames, but she felt odd. Her stomach ached and she began to dry heave. Everything was spinning around and she was feeling faint. She reached for her lover and screamed, "Xena!"


Xena woke with a start. Gabrielle had yelled for her, but she was no where in camp. Xena desperately searched for some sign of her young love, but found no footprints or other indications of where she had gone. In ultimate desperation, she called to the Gods for help. Artemis appeared and said, "My Queen has been taken from me. I want her back. I will help you, but you must promise to take Gabrielle back to Amazonia and live there for two years. I need her to stabilize the Kingdom. Do we have a deal?"


Xena nodded, "Deal!"


Gabrielle found herself in the middle of a battle. A man turns to her and exclaims, "Who are you and where is Tobas?"


The bard looked confused and said, "I’m Gabrielle. I don’t know Tobas."


A fireball roared over their heads as the young man said, "Well you better do something quick or we are going to roasted by that dragon."


Another fireball raced overhead as the strawberry blonde asked, "What do you mean me?"


He looked at her like she was incredibly stupid and said, "Because you’re the Sorceress."


Artemis explained as best she could, "Gabrielle has changed places with a sorcerer from another existence. She is now there as a sorceress and he is here as a Bard."


Xena looked into the Goddess’s eyes and asked, "How do we get her back?"


Artemis sighed and replied, "He has to say the word of recall."


Xena looked at her expectantly and queried, "And that would be?"




Gabrielle ducked another fireball that flamed a man to their right and exclaimed, "I’m not a sorceress! I’m a Bard."


The young man grabbed the young woman by her tunic and said, ‘We are going to die. Tobas was our sorcerer. You took his place. So you better do something or I will kill you myself.


Xena looked the Goddess and said, "That’s just Latin for recant."


Artemis shrugged her shoulders and replied, "What can I say? Latin has power where he comes from."


Xena smirked, "This gets better and better. Where do I find this dwebb?"

Artemis giggled and responded, "In Gabrielle’s bed in Damascus, he is earning his board by storytelling in the commons. They are stories about his world, so they are unique here."


Xena nodded and said to herself, "Like I said, better and better."


In desperation Gabrielle did the only thing she could think of, she cast the fire-starting spell at the dragon. At that moment the dragon was inhaling oxygen into his fire chamber. So when the fire appeared the dragon sucked the fire into his gas pocket in his stomach. The gas was ignited and the dragon burst into flames.


The young man looked at the young sorceress and said, "I thought you said you weren’t a sorceress?"


Xena sneaked into Damascus. She had been barred from the city for thirty days, but she needed to find this Tobas guy. She found him in his room with two female companions. They were wrapped together in sleep. Obviously, they had been very active earlier.


Xena crept over and grabbed one girl and tied her up and then the other. Finally, she tapped on the sleeping man’s shoulder. When he woke he asked, "Oh, you want to sleep with me too."


Xena gave her best evil grin and the smile faded from the young man’s face as his manhood shrunk to nothing. The Warrior Princess looked at the man’s reaction and said, "Good now that we have established the rules. Let’s talk about the game."


Gabrielle found herself the hero of the hour. Her young companion’s name was Perren. He and Tobas were the only two remaining members of an expedition to rid the Kingdom of Dwomor of its recent dragon population. There were a thousand gold pieces and a royal marriage reward for the team that killed the dragon.


The King Derneth and his five daughters welcomed them as he proclaimed them heroes, "Well done! Aren’t you a woman?"


Gabrielle smiled and said, "Yes I am, Your Majesty."


The King responded, "Well never mind. Which one do you choose?"


The young sorceress looked confused and asked, "What do you mean?"


The King smiled and said, "Which one of my daughters do you select as your bride. The reward for killing the dragon is one of my daughters. The gold is her dowry."


Gabrielle muttered under her breath, "Oh boy."


Xena found herself in prison. Tobas had made such a fuss that the city guards were called. The both got thirty days for disturbing the peace. Xena already under penalty got sixty days total. She lied and told them that he was her accomplice and now they were both in jail for sixty days.


Tobas refused to even listen to Xena’s pleas to exchange back. Tobas explained that back there he was without prospects in a hostile world. That is hungry most of the time. He explained how his master died before he was a fully trained sorcerer. He was better off here.


Gabrielle married Falissa and Perren married Tinira. She figured she’d tough it out until Xena found a way to get her home. She reasoned this was one of Ares’s plots again. She thought as she smiled at her lovely but none too happy bride, ‘Ares, I’m going to kill you."


In their new quarters in the palace the newlyweds sat fidgeting. Finally, Falissa broke the silence, "I wanted a husband, not some woman. What can we do? I’ve heard all the stories and have been waiting all my life and now this. I will never know what’s it like to be a woman."


Gabrielle had known many hours of ecstasy with Xena so she knew what to do, but she was in love with Xena not this woman, though she was quite attractive. But as the woman continued to bemoan her fate, Gabrielle let professional pride take over. She approached her new wife and lifted her into her arms and kissed her passionately. She released the kiss and pushed the confused woman onto their bed and said, "I’ll show you what it’s like to be a woman."


Xena finally found the key to make the young man want to exchange places with Gabrielle. He wanted the comfort and ease he had experienced in the inn before Xena had spoiled it for him. So the key was simple, she made his life miserable.


She would never let him sleep. She would wake him with buckets of water that they used for their toilet. She would take his food as well as her own and she would constantly glare at him. When he made the remark, he couldn’t wait to get out so he could leave her far behind, Xena just smiled and told him that she would follow him around the world until he did what she asked.


Wet, cold, hungry and unable to put up with the daily torment any longer the young man with resignation to his fate said the word, "Recanto!"


Gabrielle appeared before Xena nude and smelling of sex. Gabrielle saw Xena and ran to her and embraced her. Xena smelled the sex and looked at her lover with a single raised eyebrow and asked, "What were you doing?"


The young Bard looked at her feet and replied quietly, "I was on my honeymoon?"


Tobas found himself in a room with a naked and sleeping Falissa, who woke to find an intruder in her bedroom. The young sorcerer tried to explain, but guards came to the princess’s rescue. He was escorted down to the dungeon where he got some much needed sleep.


Falissa found her lover’s clothes and the dowry, but no Gabrielle. She had the palace searched. Then she had her love’s companion, Peren, called so they could question the prowler about her Gabrielle’s whereabouts.


Gabrielle had a much tougher time. She explained what happened and she told of her adventures. Finally, she rationalized, "Xena, you have to understand. I didn’t know how long I was going to be there. I had no money or way to protect myself. I didn’t really know what was going on. I didn’t even know if you knew I was gone. There could have been a Gabrielle taking my place; that’s happened before!


They offered me the money, but only if I married the girl. I didn’t even chose her, the King did. She was pretty, but you are beautiful and my true love. I just didn’t know what else to do."


Xena quietly tapped her foot and asked, "Was the sex necessary?"


Gabrielle desperately continued, "Well, she was pouting about marrying me and that I was a woman and not a man. She was crying that she would never know what it was like being a woman. Then she was going on and on. So I said to myself I’ll show her what it’s like being a woman. So, I showed her."


Xena listened quietly and patiently with her arms folded and asked, "Was the sex necessary?"


Unable to come with another reasonable answer off the top of her head, Gabrielle replied, "It was her fault. She started it."


Falissa dragged Perren down to the dungeon over the protests of his new bride. Tinira was enjoying her honeymoon and was upset that it was being so severely interrupted. She didn’t care if Falissa’s new husband was missing or not.


Falissa showed Perren the burglar and asked, "Do you know this person? He claims he’s the original sorcerer and that my husband was a substitute from another world."


Perren recognized Tobas immediately, but did he say anything. He had a lovely wife and a cushy job. Did he jeopardize it for someone he barely knew? But Perren was an honest man, so he did the right thing and replied, "That is the sorcerer Tobas. He and I were fighting the Dragon. I looked away for an instant, then he was gone and Gabrielle had taken his place."


Falissa was not satisfied. She wanted Gabrielle and her sexual prowess back. She decided to take this up with the magistrate.


Tobas explained everything to the magistrate the following morning. Peren backed up his story. Again Falissa was not satisfied. She demanded an audience with her father. She considered Tobas a poor substitute for her Gabrielle.


The only problem was no one knew what to do about the disappearance of the princess’s new spouse. Finally, the King decided that Tobas was the real sorcerer and that he would marry Falissa. Falissa sat quietly crying at her fate.


Tobas really preferred Alorria, but was stuck with the King’s decision. So he resigned himself to marrying Falissa so he could keep the dowry. He was also assured of a nice job in the palace.


Falissa wanted her excellent lover back and wondered if her new husband could match the performance of the young woman Falissa had fallen in lust with.


Gabrielle was begging, "Xena, I am so sorry. Forgive me, but I just didn’t know what else to do. I had no way of getting home and I was married to a woman who was unhappy. So it was either make the woman happy or I would have both been miserable."


Xena pouted and moaned, "But was the sex necessary?"


Gabrielle kneeled before her lover and ran her hand along the inside of the warrior’s thigh then said, "I can make it up to you."


Xena smiled and decided to allow her young lover to demonstrate how apologetic she was. Gabrielle smiled and began to remove her lover’s armor so she could prove she was indeed quite repentant.


It had been a strange wedding. The bride was crying and moaning for her Gabrielle. The groom kept looking at one of the bride’s sisters. The attendees knew that this princess had just been married the day before to someone else. It was all very confusing.


There was a small reception, which found the best man, Peren, conspicuously absent, as well as Falissa’s sister Tinira. The party was more subdued than the one the day before. Everyone was at a loss whether to congratulate or commiserate with the young bride.


Tobas undressed himself and his new wife. He kissed her and performed his husbandly duties and then rolled over and went to sleep. The princess lay awake, while she thought of her missing lover and wondered if she would ever experience such bliss again.


Gabrielle and Xena were walking through the Bazaar in Damascus. They were trying to get a new outfit for Gabrielle. The blanket poncho was a little too revealing for either woman’s tastes. Though Xena said that she would like her bard to wear it around the house when they got back to Amazonia.


Gabrielle saw the necessity of Xena’s deal and really didn’t mind spending a couple of years in Amazonia, making up with her true love. Plus the young bard was looking forward to seeing her Amazon friends again. They purchased the young woman an outfit and the blonde bard went to change. Xena decided to buy her young lover a present to show that she was forgiven. The stoic warrior saw a scroll vendor and thought how perfect a new story for her Bard would be.


The Warrior Princess was examining the scrolls to see which one she would purchase, when she read one about Xena, Gabrielle and a jar of honey. She examined two others. Then a now irate warrior met her blonde partner and asked as she patted her left hand with a scroll held by her right hand, "Where did you get the two hundred dinars to pay for my barroom damages?"


The green-eyed bard saw the scroll and plopped onto the ground with her head in her hands wondering how she was going to explain this one.


The Fates were not happy. The timeline in the other world had been damaged. Several fates had been changed. Someone was going to have to repair the damage. The sisters thought for a bit and decided to consult Zeus. Artemis had a two-year claim to the pair, but the fates had more than one reality to tend to.


The End?


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