Tempus Fugit

By Mavis Applewater

Part One The Summer of 1956

 

Disclaimers; the story and characters are the sole possession of the author and may not be reproduced, posted or sold without the author’s permission. So there! If for any reason, real or imagined, you are uncomfortable with or do not wish to read a story containing graphic descriptions of two consenting adult women in a loving and sexual relationship, do not read this story or anything else I have ever written. If for any reason it is illegal for you to view this material, go away and do not return until it is no longer a crime.

 

A very special thank you goes out to my beta reader, Mary.

 

As always this is for Heather.

 

            It was the summer of 1956, Rock and Roll was in its infancy, Bill Haley and the Comets along with Elvis topped the charts, Ike was president and my world was a blast. How could it not be since my world consisted of a fifty mile radius that stretched from one end of the town line to the other?  The following summer I would be agitating the gravel and blowing out of town. The freedom of college had been my dream since I could walk.  Fine I’m exaggerating. My first thoughts of college came from the kernel my parents had planted in my infancy which steadily grew. Now how’s that for a flowery way to say, Mom and Dad wanted me to get a good education so I could support them in their old age?

            When I grew older leaving my little home town truly was my dream. I was already vying for a spot in the college of my choice which was, of course, Smith.  There I would get a good education without the distraction of boys plus it was close to home, but just far enough away that I could truly be on my own. First I had to survive one more year of drive-in movies, sock hops, home work, college entrance exams, curfews and playing the games that ruled my world. Still this was the next to last summer the whole gang would be together and we had vowed to make each day remarkable.

            The excitement of summer started the last day of classes. We were filled with fire while we planned on doing everything that we had always bragged we would do.  We kicked off summer the next morning heading straight to the lake in the Carlisle woods.  Lounging by the shore our biggest source of entertainment came from gossiping about the past year and who was snuggling with whom.  It wasn’t unusual for new romances to blossom during the summer months. It was all part of our lives.

            I was enjoying the beginning of summer with my friends, my on again off again boyfriend Dirk, and making plans for the rest of the summer and fall when school and, more importantly, cheerleading began. That’s right. I was a paper shaker and proud of it.  Senior year was going to be a blast and the summer that proceeded it would be the first of many last hurrahs. I couldn’t wait for senior year when we would rule the school.

            The really boss thing about senior cheerleading is you can torture the freshman who are trying out for the squad. Normally freshman didn’t make the squad and had to settle for Junior Varsity.  There were rare occasions when a freshman made the Varsity squad. Margie and I had both done it. We were really frosted last year when the newest members of the squad were two transfer students.  They were juniors just like me which meant only the seniors got to razz them.  Ah yes, the Swenson twins; they were tall, blonde, gorgeous, bright, rich and, not to mention, stacked. Most of the girls in town hated them and all of the boys fell over themselves trying to get close to them. 

            Last fall we thought Linda Crawler might be another freshman to break the mold and hit the Varsity Squad along with Colleen Bottoms who was a sophomore and had been a killer the year before cheering for the JV squad. Then the Swenson twins walked into the tryouts and no one felt certain that their spot was safe. The twins kicked Linda and Colleen to the curb with their smooth moves and amazing good looks.  Colleen was a wet rag after she found out that, once again, she had to fight for a spot on the JV squad. Since both Ginny and Laurie were fellow pom-pom wavers the cheering squad stuck by them.  They fit right in with our little social circle. The only trouble was telling them apart.

            I thought, at times, I could sense there was a hint of edginess to Laurie’s personality that clearly wasn’t evident in her identical twin.  Then again there were times when I could have sworn that it was Ginny in my math class and not Laurie who was the one scheduled to be there. Other times I could have sworn that Laurie was sitting in on my Home Ec class instead of Ginny. Early in the fall of that year I discovered that I was one of the few people on the planet who really could tell one from the other.  I discovered in the most unusual way how to really distinguish the two

            Things were set in motion that first day of summer.  I was clueless that my life was about to change leading me down a road I never envisioned.  The day in itself mirrored so many other days of my teenage life. We went swimming, tubing and swung on the old rope hanging from a tree.  The guys showed off their muscles each trying to swing further than anyone else before diving into the cold water.  Some of the girls, including myself, swung on the rope as well. Mostly we sat on the shore cooing and applauding when the boys flexed their muscles.  It was what was expected of us and we happily played our roles until it was time to clear out.  Then we went home and ate dinner with our families before getting all dolled up and heading back out for more fun.

            The gang which consisted of the cheerleading squad and their football playing boyfriends, had gathered that night at the local burger joint. Buddy Burgers was the hot spot in our little town. We had taken over the booths in front with huge windows that over looked the drive in. Banishing the nerds to the back where the families and kiddies sat. We wanted to see who was eating outside with whom. I remember thinking as I watched the poor girls rolling around on roller skates while they tried to cater to the rowdy teenagers; that you couldn’t pay me enough to take a job like that. 

            Me, I worked part time in a tiny bookstore where I could lose myself in the classics or books that normally I shouldn’t be allowed to read due to my tender young age.  Banning books was a biggie back then. You’d be surprised what wasn’t allowed to be sold. Many of the titles are now considered to be classics. Some of the titles that were banned in Boston were, Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath, Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, Joyce’s Ulysses, Sinclair Lewis’ Elmer Gantry, Huie’s The Execution of Private Slovik, Caldwell’s Gods Little Acre and of course Henry Miller’s Tropic of  Cancer.  The list goes on even The Scarlet Letter was on the hit list for a long time. I read them all and with most of them I failed to understand why they had been banned. Now my boss did cross the line keeping the steamier titles hidden in the back.  I think that was the true secret to his success. My boss would look the other way when I would purchase or order a title that was considered taboo.  He believed in the written word and that censorship was not what our founding fathers had in mind.  Since I was old enough to drive he felt I should be able to decide what I wanted to read.  He was big on broadening ones’ horizons.

            That night broadening my horizons was the furthest thing on my mind. That night I acted like every other teenaged girl in town pumping quarters in the jukebox while scoping out the scene and, of course, the constant trips to the ladies room to fix my make up and gossip with the other girls.

            Hey we were the cool kids who never parked outside to eat unless someone had scored a bottle or we had a date and wanted privacy. Our place was the booth where we could hog the jukebox and get most of our food for free thanks to Stewie, our wide receiver.  Stewie’s gig was busing tables for his dad who was none other than Buddy, the cranky fry cook who owned the joint.

            Poor Stewie got a lot of flack from his old man every time we invaded Buddy’s.  Still he got away with it because we were the good kids in town and Stewie was one of the stars of the team. The other shining star was our quarterback who was absent that night. Bobby Walford was a dream boat who was looking at a full ride to LSU next year if he kept his game and his grades up.  It was no secret that most of the girls on the squad would happily trade in their steady for Bobby just like it was no secret that the boys would do the same for a shot at one or both of the Swenson twins. The guys were always boasting that you got bonus points for twins.  Like all the other girls I’d just roll my eyes when they started yammering like morons.

            The topics of conversation were limited to did everyone see how closely Ginny and Bobby were all day, how we were going to fit in as much fun as possible and keep our jobs, and of course there was the upcoming release of Giant. It was the late great James Dean’s last movie and we just had to see it.  Well all the girls wanted to see. I think the guys did too, but they were way too cool to admit it.

             I was there with my boyfriend Dirk who wasn’t nicknamed the Groper for nothing. The night was coming to an end and I had just about enough of Dirk pawing me.  I was dreading the ride home knowing that he would try to make a stop a Mill Hill the local make out spot.  Suddenly a miracle landed at my feet. Brent who was Laurie’s latest steady was grounded because he managed to fail English, and had to go to summer school. He needed to hit the bricks before his parents discovered he had snuck out.

            For the life of me I didn’t understand why he was risking getting caught on our first night of freedom. And just how do you fail Basic English and keep your spot on the team? It was no secret that if he flunked during the summer he’d be off the team.  If that happened there wasn’t a snow ball’s chance in Hell he’d be able to keep Laurie on his arm. When Laurie suggested that Dirk, who lived close to Brent’s house, drive him home and she could give me a lift, I was granted a reprieve from my hands on beau. I also suspected that Laurie and Brent would be history before the first big party of the summer.

            Needless to say Dirk didn’t like the idea of leaving with Brent instead of me one bit.  Then Lauren flashed him one of her dazzling smiles and that was that.  I didn’t care that she was flirting with my boyfriend. Hell I was on cloud nine. I could have jumped up and kissed her.  Something did catch my eye that looking back should have been my first clue that all was not as it appeared to be.  Both Brent and Ginny were eyeballing us with grim expressions.  I understood why Brent was spazzing, but for the life of me I didn’t get why Ginny seemed upset.

            I didn’t stop to think about it I just merrily bounced over to Laurie’s brand new Chevy Bel Air and climbed in. Laurie and Ginny had matching red and white convertibles and let me tell you those cars were boss.  In fact the matching convertibles were nicknamed the Cherry Mobiles because they were the hottest wheels in town and, of course there was the classy chassis sitting in the driver‘s seat.

            Everyone waved goodbye and we cut out.  Now when Laurie suggested making a side trip to the Carlisle woods which was nestled just below Mill Hill because she had scored a bottle of rum and wanted to have a little fun I thought it was a killer idea. Granted if my boyfriend had proposed such a grody request I would have offered him a knuckle sandwich.  This was Laurie Swenson who along with her twin had jumped from lowly transfer students to the queens of Buchanan High in record time.

‘Fun with rum! Yeah this was something I wanted to try.’  I went ape over the idea.

“Now this is a party,” she blew out happily lighting a cigarette while I took another swig of rum. “Nothing against Buddy Burgers.”

“I take it Cedar Hills is smaller than back home?” I questioned handing her the bottle before leaning against the comfortable seats.

“There is no back home,” she laughed. “Man we’ve moved so many times over the last couple of years you’d think we were a pack of nomads.”

“Oh twenty cent word bonus points,” I snickered snatching the cigarette from her hand and taking a drag.

“Thief,” she scolded me while screwing the cap back onto the bottle.  “Speaking of bonus points.”

“Huh?” I slurred trying to roll down the window so I could toss the remains of the cigarette.

“Not getting drunk on me are you?” She purred in an odd tone leaning over and snatching the cigarette back. “We can use the ashtray.  The folks never touch our wheels.”

“Okey Dokey,” I sighed wondering why she was all fuzzy. ‘Great the first night of summer vacation and I’m cruising to get grounded already. But I’m having fun.’ My mind giddily surmised.

“You are drunk,” she sounded satisfied as she slipped closer to me.

“No.” I lied leaning a little closer.  I felt warm and tingly and curious as to why Laurie was removing my sweater.

“You wanna have some real fun?” She whispered hotly in my ear.

            Now this was unusual! I have no idea how we ended up sitting so closely together. Or why she was nuzzling my neck not to mention tugging my blouse out of my poodle skirt. Yes a poodle skirt; it was 1956 and that is what I wore along with Bobby socks and saddle shoes. Get over it. I do remember thinking that I must have really been hammered because I could have sworn that she was nibbling on my earlobe and groping me.  I also remember thinking that if I were in this very same situation with a guy this would be the moment that I would either knee him where it counted or we would start making out.  Oddly enough that is just what happened. Not kneeing her, the making out part.

            She kissed me, and it wasn’t a shy peck or an innocent gesture between friends either.  Nope.  Laurie went straight for the gold and stuck her tongue in my mouth. I would have pushed her away and said no but it felt so damn good. So I did the only thing I was capable of doing at that moment; I kissed her back.

            She wrapped her tongue around mine and I just melted into her body.  Her hands seemed to be everywhere as we kissed one another senseless.  She had managed to unbutton my blouse and one of her hands landed half way up my bra when I began to question what was happening.  “Laurie.” I gasped since normally at this juncture I would jump ship leaving my escort high and dry.   

“Tell me what you want Babe?” She whispered hotly in my ear.

            ‘Oh my God!’  I silently groaned. There was just something about the way she said those words that sent a shiver down my spine.  So instead of stopping her I captured her soft lips in a searing kiss and let her unhook my bra.  Laurie wasted no time while I was happily exploring the warmth of her mouth; she was massaging my breasts.  Laurie knew just how to touch me. She cupped my breasts feeling them completely before she began to tease my nipples.  I was delirious which could be the only explanation for allowing another girl to pinch and tease my nipples until my entire body was aching with desire.    

“Come on Babe let’s play,” she pleaded while her tongue traced the swell of my breasts.  “Tell me what you want.” She repeated her voice once again sending a delightful shiver through my body.

            There was something about the way she was pleading that was so different than the way a guy would beg.  I tried pressing my thighs together in an effort to ebb the constant throbbing that was clouding my senses. “Let’s play?” She pleaded again her hand slipping down the front of my body.  I couldn’t stop myself my body pressed closer.  Laurie murmured with pleasure; her lips once again finding my sensitive earlobe and her hand slipping between my thighs.

            Normally I would have snapped my legs shut, instead I parted them allowing her to further explore my body.  “Come on Babe,” she pleaded once again moaning deeply as she spoke.  I tried to speak but the words failed to come.  She pressed the heel of her hand against my mound and my body jerked forward eager to greet her touch.

“Why don’t we climb into the backseat,” she murmured softly grinding her hand against me.

“I don’t . . . I don’t,” I stammered parting my thighs even further.

“You want some more rum?” She tried to sway me.

“No.” I whimpered thrusting harder against her hand.

“You’re so wet,” she cooed teasing me harder. “Come on it will be more fun in the backseat.”

            I opened my mouth to refuse, but again words failed me.  I could feel all of the blood in my body rushing in a southerly direction while she continued teasing me. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, and for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why I was allowing her to guide me over the seats.  Still there I was lying on the backseat with my skirt hiked up and my breasts hanging out. Laurie was hovering above me offering me more alcohol.  This time I accepted, but not with words.  I simply took the bottle from her grasp and took a healthy swig.

            Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought if I was drunk that would explain everything.  It felt so good to have her breath caressing my nipples while she rolled my panties down my thighs.  For the first time in my life I wasn’t just excited the passion was dripping from my body.  I laced my fingers in her long, blonde hair pressing my nipple against her lips.  She suckled my nipple urgently and I felt her fingers gliding along my swollen nether lips.

            I released a loud groan when she pulled away snaring the bottle.  I gazed up at her pondering if Laurie was just as hot naked as she was fully clothed? A strange and troubling thought that for some mystical reason held me captive. I barely noticed her sipping more rum before offering the bottle back to me. I shook my head no. She shrugged capping the bottle placing it on the floor of the car.  She captured my hand and guided it up and under her skirt.  I inhaled sharply when she guided my fingers inside her panties.

“Oh yeah,” she groaned with delight rocking her hips against my fumbling touch. “You’re so hot,” she whispered her touch returning to my wetness.

            She was straddling my body guiding my fingers deeper inside of her.  I could feel her wetness painting my fingers.  “Oh Babe,” she groaned coaxing me to further explore her.  “Come on Babe,” she urged pressing her fingers against my center.  “Let’s go for those extra points.”

“No wait!” I yelped jerking away from her.

“Oh come on.” She had the bad manners to whine.  “What’s the prob, Babe?”

            “This has gone too far,” I sputtered climbing further away while trying to adjust my clothing.  I might be able to explain the kissing by blaming the rum.  No way I could explain the wanton fondling we were sharing. None of my boyfriends had ever gotten this far. Not from a lack of trying mind you. So why was Laurie so determined to round the bases in record time?

“Don’t you want to?” She purred wrapping her arms around my waist and nuzzling my neck.  “Have another drink? It will loosen you up.” She encouraged her hands slipping up to my breasts.

            “I can’t believe you just said that!” I shouted shoving her away from me. “Geez Louise that is something a guy would say!” I shouted while I jumped out of the car.

“But Babe,” she purred following after me.

“Are you calling me that because you can’t remember my name?” I sputtered wondering if it was the truth.  I was also thinking that I used to consider Laurie attractive. There was something about her that night that made her look anything but attractive.

            “Uhm no,” she quickly denied a little too quickly for my tastes. “Hey look I thought we were having fun.” She added brushing a strand of hair from my cheek. Then she looked deeply into my eyes. “Why don’t we just go back to having fun?  No one has to know.” 

            I had heard rumors that Laurie was fast, but hitting on another chick was way out there. Then again I didn’t spaz until she called me Babe one too many times. Maybe this was nothing more than a kick? It was the look in her eyes that finalized it for me. She was full of it and this was nothing more than a game to her.  Call me an up tight stick in the mud, but giving up my virginity for a couple snorts of rum wasn’t going to happen.

 “I said no,” I huffed folding my arms across my chest. “I can walk from here.”

“Fine,” she snarled. “But I can drive.  I can‘t believe that you‘d do it with Dirk the jerk and give me the brush off.”

“For the record the Groper is a lying dog,” I snarled thoroughly disgusted by her attitude.  “I shot him down; only with him my aim was better.”

            She stomped to the other side of the car and waited for me to get in. I cursed under my breath before joining her. The short drive home was torture.  Laurie kept touching me and trying to convince me to go back to the woods. I sat there silently fuming.  “Well I wouldn’t have pegged you to act like a goof over a little fun, Babe.” She had the bad manners to say and adding that last Babe was a huge mistake.

“Cut the gas Laurie!” I finally shouted stunned when her hand landed on my thigh. I jerked her hand away. Now I was really frosted. “Let me make this perfectly clear.  I ain’t giving it up for a little rum. So just keep your grody paws to yourself and drive me home.”

“Fine,” she finally gave in just before she pulled into my driveway. “Just don’t tell anyone about this. We don’t want anyone to think we’re a couple of lesbos.”

            “Trust me Laurie my lips are sealed,” I promised mystified by her logic.  I know I hadn’t imagined that she just tried to get into my pants. I certainly wasn’t going to tell anyone I made out with another girl. She had to know that it would be the mark of death in our little social circle. So why was she more worried about her rep than the fact the word no had suddenly vanished from her vocabulary?

“Kookie.” She shrugged before peeling rubber.

“Now who was that?” My father questioned when I stormed into the house.  “Not that Dirk idiot again?”

            “No Dad,” I sighed. “Laurie Swenson gave me a lift. She had to dash.  She was worried about making her curfew.” Hey I had to lie.  What could I tell him, my virtue would have been safer with a guy we called Groper? Then there was the little matter of me standing in front of my over protective father reeking of booze and being late which I knew I was going to get flack over.

            The following morning I felt like hell the effects of a late night and cheap hooch leaving me feeling tired.  The constant pounding in my head was no picnic either.  I showered and dressed in a hurry sneaking out to get to work before my mother could grill me.  Thankfully the store was quiet that day and I could rest my weary head on the counter. I jumped out of my skin when the bell chimed and I saw her walking in.

            When she flashed me a warm smile and apologized for disturbing my nap I blew out a sigh of relief. It had to be Ginny who had an easy going demeanor and would apologize if she bumped into a chair.  Laurie, on the other hand, would more than likely set the chair on fire.  Suddenly I broke out in a cold sweat. Ginny was Laurie’s sister. What if she knew?  I had enough to deal with. My willingness to allow Laurie to get as far as she did last night was confusing the bejesus out of me.  Now I was suddenly trapped in the store with the one person Laurie would reveal our secret to. I stood behind the counter panicking as she browsed the new books.  I wanted to the floor to open up and swallow me whole. If Ginny knew what would she think of me?

            I just about fainted on the spot when she strolled up to the counter. I was sweating like a pig, my hands were clammy and I just wanted to die. Better still roll back the clock and not accept that ride from Laurie.  My hands were shaking when I took the book she had selected and rang it up. Normally I’d chat about her selection. That day I just wanted her to go away.  “So did you have fun last night?” She questioned.  Her voice sounded so odd, almost hurt, when she spoke.

            “Uhm it was interesting.” I stammered unable to look at her. Instead I just took her money and shoved the book into a bag.  I hoped that by shoving her purchase at her it would make Ginny go away. It didn’t and when I glanced up she was still standing there, and I was trapped in a nightmare. Standing before me was a mirror image of the person who had treated me like I was some kind of Jezebel. Worse still she must have known that I let it happen.  I swallowed hard; my mind questioning if Laurie had told her the truth about things. Did she tell Ginny that it was she that started things and I put a stop to it? Or did she just gloss over the minor details skipping ahead to the part when my hand ended up between her thighs?

“The first day of summer is always a trip,” Ginny shrugged tucking her purchase in her purse.

            “Huh? Uhm yeah,” I gulped.  ‘She doesn’t know!’ I was ready to break out my pom-poms and do a victory cheer. Then something occurred to me. “Hey?” I blushed suddenly realizing what book I had rung up.  When I was having my panic attack dear sweet Ginny must have ducked into the backroom. It wasn’t really a room, more of a closet where titles that for some reason or another had been denounced were kept.  Even though Mr. Dyer cut me some slack the broom closet was off limits to anyone under twenty-one. “Forever Amber? No, no, no.” I tsked. “I’m not supposed to let you see that one much less sell it to you.”

“I’m sorry,” she instantly apologized offering the package back to me. “I don’t want to get you into trouble.”

“Ah forget it,” I waved it off. “Just don’t squeal on me. I never got why we have to hide so many books. Up until about ten years ago Huck Finn was back there.”

“Huck Finn?” Ginny gaped over at me. “Why?”

“Who knows?” I shrugged.  “Just enjoy the book. I did.”

“You read it?” She flashed me a brilliant smile that made me weak in the knees.  “My you are a naughty girl.”

            “Uhm,” I choked a flash of heat surging through my body. My face turned a deep shade of scarlet and suddenly I was embarrassed by the way my body was reacting to her husky timber. My eyes darted about. I stood there looking like a moron fully aware that she was staring at me.

“So what are you doing later?” She innocently inquired.  She had decided to ignore my obvious flustered state or she simply failed to notice.

            “Oh,” I trembled as flashes of the night before invaded my thoughts. Those wayward thoughts blending with the shiver she had just invoked reduced me to blathering idiot. The wheels in my head spun wildly.  I had to answer her. I just needed a moment to think before I opened my mouth. Finally, I cleared my throat and presented my response to her innocent query.  “I have to go straight home. I got some flack for coming home so late last night.  I have to stay in tonight.”  It wasn’t really a lie, since I knew that once I met Dad at his shop I really was going to get in trouble for staying out so late.

“Grody,” she offered me a sympathetic grin. “Well if you get a reprieve the gang is meeting at the bowling alley.”

“Watching the guys strut their stuff again,” I sighed. “Nah, I’ll hang with the folks.”

“It’s cool.” She nodded before leaving. “Thanks again for the book.”

            I had never been so relieved to blow off my friends.  I wasn’t in the mood for facing Laurie or anyone else that night. What I needed to do was just hide in the house and watch television with my parents.  It might be a lame way to spend the night but I needed time to think.  I needed to clear my head and figure out what the night before had meant.

            Later, after I closed up the bookstore, I walked over to my Dad’s barber shop.  My mind was still muddled even when I knocked on the window informing Dad I had arrived. He put down the broom he was using and unlocked the front door for me. “You do own a watch,” he gave me guff right from the get go.

“Sorry about last night,” I grumbled rubbing my throbbing temple. “I just lost track of time.”

“I see and now that you’ve apologized you’re going to ask if you can out again tonight?” He grumbled.

“No.” I shrugged sheepishly.

“Well that knocked the wind out of my sails,” he blinked with surprise.  “I was all set to give you a stern lecture, complete with several I’m disappointed and calling you young lady as many times as possible.”

“Hate to disappoint.” I shrugged once again. “So can you give your kid a lift home or is part of my penance walking?”

“Help your old man clean up,” he smiled handing me the broom.  “While we are cleaning up you can explain to me just what is so fascinating about this Dirk idiot?”

“He’s okay.” I shrugged as I began to sweep the floor.

“Well that was touching,” Dad shook his head. “Well it can’t be puppy love. So why do you keep getting back together with the jackass?”

            I didn’t have an answer other than Dirk was on the team, a part of the gang and despite his groping and bragging he would eventually back off.  Puppy love was such a strange term. It was at that moment that I realized I had never really understood what it meant.  I dated and had steady boyfriends but I still had failed to find the one guy that would make me feel and act like an idiot.  Maybe that was good thing. Helping me to keep my head on straight so that when I left home my mind wouldn’t be clouded by the trappings of love.  If I had fallen hard for some boy, I might have given into temptation which could have gotten me in trouble. I didn’t want that.  I wanted a future away from Cedar Hills.  I knew a long list of girls who wanted to move on only to be sidetracked by falling for some guy.  Prior to that moment I had just assumed that I was more practical than my peers.  Now I wasn’t so certain if it was good, old fashion common sense or perhaps something else. I was snapped out of my dark thoughts when Dad pointed out that I had been sweeping the same spot for over ten minutes.

            That night I was trapped under a dark cloud. It was easy to allow my troubles to overwhelm my thoughts. My parents were completely addicted to television probably because it wasn’t around when they were growing up. Well, it was around, they just couldn’t afford the luxury until I was about ten. Televisions back then were large, massive pieces of furniture with teeny tiny black and white screens.  I can kind of understand Mom’s obsession with it, being stuck in the house all day with me and my kid brother.  My Dad, on the other hand, had no excuse for being a tyrant when it came to what shows we would and would not watch.

            I just sat back and tried to watch whatever he picked. Thanking the heavens that it was far too late in the day for Howdy Doody to be on. None of the hokey shows failed to capture my attention.  Finally I gave up and excused myself claiming that I was tired. What was exhausting me was the constant replaying of what had happened the night before.

            Over and over again I watched the scene playing out. It started out innocently enough just a couple of kids sneaking some booze.  I just couldn’t figure out when it turned into something lurid. When I climbed into bed I still couldn’t grasp why Laurie did what she did.  More importantly why did I go along with it? Granted I was a little buzzed when it all started.  Alone in the dark recalling the sequence of events I couldn’t lie to myself.  I knew that there were several moments I could have stopped what was happening.

            Going to bed early proved to be a really bad call.  Left alone in my bedroom while trying to understand my sexual confusion leaves a teenaged girl with only one option.  A little fantasizing wasn’t a foreign concept; granted back then no one would admit to it.  For the longest time I thought I was the only one who did it. There I was lying in the darkness, not only thinking about sex after my little experiment the night before, but my body was filled with a strange yearning.

            It started the way it always did trying to picture myself making out with some cute guy from school. That never worked so I quickly shifted gears replacing the guy with a hunky movie star like Rock Hudson. Again I was falling flat until I decided to picture Doris Day with Rock Hudson. That always helped move things along encouraging me to slip my fingers inside of my pajama bottoms. I licked my lips as I slowly began to touch myself.  I halted briefly questioning for the first time why it was I never got a little excited unless I added an attractive woman to my fantasy. I shook my head trying to vanquish the true reason from my thoughts. I groaned feeling depressed when I couldn’t evade the nagging question.

            I gave up on trying to finish the task at hand and tried to sleep.  I tossed and turned for hours before I finally fell into a fitful slumber.  No small surprise that my dreams were more than interesting that night.  Absent were the cute guys from school and movie stars, instead I was featured along with Laurie.  At least my frisky companion started out as Laurie but somewhere in my dream she magically became her twin. When I awoke the following morning I was initially troubled by the hot dream. I shrugged it off suddenly having a new understanding of just why guys are fascinated by twins.

            Midway through my shift at the bookstore I  came to a conclusion.  I accepted that the incident a couple nights ago was interesting, and since no one would ever know about it I should just forget about it. I had thought about it nonstop and the truth was what had happened was far less risqué than a lot of the books I was reading on the sly.  Laurie could chalk it up to an incomplete pass. I simply dismissed the whole thing as a lark.  Like I said no one was ever going to know and I certainly wasn’t going to let it happen again. Best to forget the whole thing and go on with my life.

            I was okay with my irrational rationalization until Dirk strolled in.  I knew he wasn’t there to buy a book.  Truth be told I had long suspected that the only book Dirk had read voluntarily was a playbook. His sudden appearance could only mean that he was there to see me. For the first time I was thrilled to see him. A little time with my boyfriend just might be the ticket.  I think he was in shock when I eagerly accepted his invitation to join him and the rest of the gang in a trip to the local drive-in. Normally if Dirk suggested taking me to the drive-in I would flatly refuse.

            When Dirk arrived my Dad was less than pleased. Dad probably cut every guy in towns hair and had been doing so since I was a small child.  Dad often said that the gossip in his shop was better than a hen party. Ergo each time I went out with someone new Dad already knew all the dirt.  He didn’t like Dirk.  In fact he often said that he trusted him about as far as he could throw him. I suspected that Dad really wanted to hurl Dirk into a wall.  Imagine your little girl bouncing off for a night at the passion pit with a guy who more than earned the nickname Groper? 

            Dad’s fears ebbed ever so slightly when the rest of our party emerged from the car. It appeared that we weren’t going alone in Dirk’s car. Dirk wasn’t even driving. Apparently we were doubling. Normally I’d be thrilled that we were going with another couple, and Gloria Detwyler was joining us as well.  Dad may have been pleased that we not only had a fifth wheel but the other couple were two of the most upstanding kids in my little social circle.

            I, on the other hand, was floored when Bobby and Ginny strolled into my parent’s home.  Never mind that I had locked lips with Ginny’s sister; all day long I had been whiling away the hours thinking about Ginny. Yeah I know my plan was to blow off what had happened.  Fine plan except that I couldn’t stop thinking about it or her. 

            I was filled with a deep sense of shame when she looked at me. I wanted to cancel right then and there feigning cramps or the bubonic plague anything to get me out of spending the night in the same car with the tall blonde.  Wasn’t going to happen.  Dad gave his stamp of approval and Bobby’s car was waiting in the driveway.  The only person who was less enthused was Gloria. Hey no one wants to be the fifth wheel. Face it trapped in a car with two couples knowing that the only reason you are there is to keep the guys from getting out of hand because you had failed to score a date is a real drag; no matter how you slice it.

            My original plan of snuggling and sharing a little heavy petting with my boyfriend so I could reconfirm my place in the world had been dashed.  I finally accepted my fate knowing that the night was already a bust.  It was odd knowing that Dirk would still try even with Gloria nestled in the backseat with us. I was in quite a pickle because of a couple sips of rum and a stacked blonde.  I felt like Alice after she fell down that damn rabbit hole. 

            Once we arrived at the drive-in we fell into the usual rituals. The gang took over the best parking spots.  Couples often parked away from the crowd so they could have privacy. Since we had Gloria in tow that wasn’t going to happen. Then the guys would converge at the snack bar while the girls took over the ladies’ room.  It’s funny to think about now, how much makeup we would plaster to our young flesh beginning the moment we left our homes.  Only to scrub our faces clean when we knew we’d be returning to our parents.

            The bathroom, per usual, was a cloud of cigarette smoke and cheap hairspray echoing with the sounds of girlish laughter and gum snapping.  Once we had completed the arduous task of making ourselves look pretty, and our minds had become fuzzy from the mixture of smoke and aerosol, we would either rejoin our boyfriends or kick the kiddies off the swing set so we could smoke and gossip.

            I sat on one of the swings after bumming a smoke off of Sandy feeling mildly relieved that Ginny hadn’t followed. “So Ginny and Bobby?” Candy piped in. “It is Ginny right?”

“Yes.” I rolled my eyes.

“Of course it is,” Margie gleefully explained. “Laurie is still with Brent.”

“For now,” Sandy grumbled with disgust.  “Trust me that boy’s days are numbered. Face it he is on a fast train to loser-ville.  No way is Laurie staying on his arm when he can’t go out at night. She must be pissed that she is missing out on tonight.”

            “She could have shown up without a date,” Margie tried to rationalize.  Margie was always trying to be the voice of reason.  Like when she would suggest that I might hang onto a boyfriend longer if I went out with someone I really liked instead of dating a guy because he had a letterman sweater.  She really was naive about things sometimes.

“Laurie?” Sandy laughed. “Not a chance.  Especially since her sister is here with Bobby.  The girl is far too stuck up to play second fiddle.”

            I had often wondered why Sandy and Bobby never hooked up. The two of them had been best friends since the first grade.  It was really odd to see a guy and girl stay friends for that long without one of them having the hots for the other.  After puberty it just didn’t happen. In our world if a guy and girl spent that much time together something was going on.

“Hey sorry it is just so hard to tell them apart,” Candy reasoned.

“Sometimes I think I can,” I absently mumbled.  “Ginny is so easy going most of the time. Then she’ll be in a class with me and she’ll act just like Laurie.”

“Weird if you ask me,” Sandy spat out.  “It’s like they switch places or personalities.  Face it Laurie can be a total witch.  I’m glad that Ginny is the one Bobby asked out.  If it had been Laurie I would have blown a gasket. “

“What’s the dif?” Candy groaned.

            “The dif is Laurie is a harpy and a little fast and Ginny is a doll,” Sandy sniped.  “Trust me I’ve seen them together at those fancy country club parties our parents insist on dragging us to.  Believe me those girls are nothing alike.  If someone is getting all the attention Laurie pulls some stunt just to get noticed.  She’s hit on more than one girl’s escort. Mark my words when that egg split something went horribly wrong.”

            Sandy was just gearing up and the others seemed to be following her lead. It made me uncomfortable. When the tongues started to wag no one was safe. It never felt right to me to sit around cutting someone down only to smile and chat with them later.  “You know you’re right,” I slowly began snubbing out my cigarette. “They are different. For starters Ginny is a class act who would never gossip about anyone behind their back.  So let’s can it.”

“That’s what I love about you Ellen,” Sandy smiled. “You, too, are a class act.  Not a bitchy bone in your body. So what’s with the chaperone? Dirk must be pitching a fit.”

“You know it.” I snickered climbing off the swing.

“It’s getting dark,” Sandy sighed. “Guess we should find our dates.”

            I started to stroll away from the girls who decided to have one last smoke before the movie started. I jumped when I spied Ginny lurking just around the corner. The pensive look on her face filled me with concern. She was a little too close to the playground not to have heard what the girls were saying.  “Hey.” I called out trying to act as if she and her sister hadn’t been the topic of conversation.

“Hey,” she smiled sweetly as she approached me. “Thanks.”

“For?”  I questioned when we started heading towards the cars.

“Sticking a sock in Sandy’s mouth,” Ginny grimly explained folding her arms across her chest. “You’re right.  I hate gossip especially when my sister is the main focus. So thanks.”

“Uhm, no problem,” I stuttered suddenly feeling very shy. “I should be thanking you. Gloria coming along is perfect. That ought to cool Dirk’s jets.”

“I, Uhm,” she shyly responded. “I don’t like going on dates to the drive-in unless you know there’s a buffer. Too easy for a guy to get the wrong idea.”

“And a long walk home.” I laughed.

“No kidding,” she laughed along with me.  “That’s why I always have that emergency dime in my purse so I can call a cab.  Speaking of Gloria, where is she?”

“Don’t know,” I shrugged when we reached Bobby’s car.  Our little chaperone was no where in sight.  I knew Gloria was miffed by her designated role in the night’s festivities still it was odd for her to ditch us.  I finally spotted her across the way chatting with some cute guy. “Oops looks like she’s found a better offer.”

“No it’s not cool,” I heard Bobby sniping at Dirk.

            I quickly added two and two together and came up with a rat. I’d bet dollars to donuts that Dirk knew the good looking stranger who had suddenly appeared and captivated Gloria.  “Snake,” I groaned pushing past him and climbing into the backseat.

“What?” He whined climbing in behind me.

“Where’d you dig him up?” I growled under my breath as our companions climbed into the front seat. 

“Cousin,” he proudly grinned handing me a bucket of popcorn.

“I’m sorry about this,” Bobby apologized to Ginny.

“Hey Gloria was miserable,” Dirk defended his actions while slipping his arm around my shoulders.

“That’s you all over; just a regular boy scout doing one good deed after another,” I groaned his hand already finding its way to my thigh.

“Hey Babe,” he made the mistake of cooing in my ear.

            After hearing that one too many times a couple of nights ago I had a bad reaction and elbowed him in the chest.  Dirk grunted but kept his hands in place.  “Dirk the only reason I agreed to double with you guys was because there was going to be another person here,” Ginny scolded him with a hostile glare in the rearview mirror.

“Now don’t you feel bad?” I growled.

“No.” Dirk practically laughed snuggling closer.

            It took my ever attentive boyfriend all of ten minutes into the first flick to start groping me. I hate to admit it but I went along with his pawing.  In the back of my mind I had convinced myself that it was what I needed to do so I could feel normal again.  Once we started making out it was the same old thing.  I was going through the motions while my mind drifted. It is amazing that I hadn’t realized before that night I always let my mind wander while making out with a guy.

            I got more homework done when I went parking than I ever did when I sat down to study.  That night I was reminding myself to say this while touching him here or there.  All the while knowing that I was emotionally detached from what I was doing.  I just wanted to feel something and as a result let him get a little further than I normally would.  It was hell letting him touch me in the backseat of the car knowing that there were two other people sitting directly in front of us.  Each time I glanced up I found Bobby and Ginny snuggling and watching the movie. They weren’t kissing or groping.  In fact if I hadn’t caught Ginny spying on us in the mirror from time to time I would have thought the two of them had fallen asleep.

            The look in her eyes troubled me. She looked so strange and troubled.  Something in her distant look tore at me. It was too much knowing she was watching while he was groping me.  It made my stomach churn.  Not for the first time that night I brushed his inquisitive hands away from my breasts.  It failed to deter him. I finally shoved him away from me. Dirk blew out the same frustrated sigh he always did and pouted.  “It’s intermission,” I grumbled while he slumped back against the seat.  “I have to go to the ladies room.” I excused myself leaving Dirk stewing in his frustration. Ginny naturally followed after me. 

            I knew she had only snuck out of the car because it would have been bad manners to allow me to go to the bathroom by myself. You never let another girl go to the bathroom alone. I wasn’t surprised when Ginny chose to remain silent as we strolled towards the restroom.  The poor girl must have been awfully uncomfortable watching me acting like a hussy. 

“I don’t have to go,” I blew out in frustration feeling completed discombobulated by the fact that she had seen me making out with Dirk.  “I just wanted to get away from him.”  I concluded leaning up against the wall outside of the bathroom.

“Well,” Ginny nodded pursing her lips. “He certainly lives up to his reputation.”

“Like being out with an octopus,” I sneered more disgusted by my actions than Dirk’s.  “I don’t know why I keep getting back together with him.”

“Good question.” Ginny muttered taking the spot next to me.

            The disapproving tone in her voice made me feel even worse.  I was just about to try and explain my lurid behavior when the rest of the gang banged out of the bathroom and joined us.  Neither Ginny nor I spoke we just leaned back and listened or at least I pretended to listen.  Dirk was not a happy camper when we returned and I failed to respond to his advances. “I said stop!” I finally spat out giving him a hard shove.

            Dirk just grunted before making another lame attempt. “Hey!” Bobby shouted from the front seat. “She said back off.”

            Dirk was smart enough not to challenge Bobby.  I was grateful that I was doubling with Bobby who, above all else, was a gentleman. It was one of the things that made him so attractive to the girls in school.  Back then sex before marriage was something only bad girls did. Or at least that was what we told ourselves even if some of the girls were sleeping with their boyfriends. But no one talked about that other than in hushed whispers. 

            By the time the second flick had ended I wanted to apologize to Bobby and Ginny.  Instead I did the only thing I could think of doing. I begged off joining them for a burger and asked that they drop me off at home. Poor Dirk I thought his head was going to explode when I tossed out my feeble excuse of having to work in the morning.  I had to get away from him and them.  Extending the evening which would include enduring Dirk dropping hints that we should hit Mill Hill just wasn’t on the agenda.

            I dashed out of the car barely saying goodnight to Dirk.  Even if I wasn’t suddenly confused by recent events it was clear that Dirk had to go. Granted I had led him on that night but his advances were getting more and more aggressive.  Time to call it quits.  Another thing that made me feel queasy was I knew why he was so hot on the idea of doubling with Bobby that night. Not only did he want to get lucky with me, the twisted jerk wanted a chance to see one of the twins in action.  When I crawled into bed that night I still felt ill. Left alone with my thoughts I knew that Dirk wasn’t the only screwball who wanted to view Ginny in a passionate situation.

            You can only image what I dreamt about that night.  I was at the drive-in alright, but no one except me and Ginny were there and watching the movie wasn’t on the schedule.  The following morning I woke up feeling positively amorous.  “This is just great.” I snarled after taking a long shower which failed to ebb my erroneous thoughts.  My curious nature really took a bizarre turn.  The more I tried to forget what I now referred to as the incident; the more I thought about it.  A strange twist of fate to say the least. The funny thing was the more I thought about it the less uptight I felt. It was a real kick in the pants.

            The rest of the summer was fun. Despite my promise there were a couple of occasions I tried to talk to Laurie about that kooky night.  She told me to chill out and keep my trap shut.  I decided to let sleeping dogs lay. The thing was I really did enjoy what we did. I just didn’t enjoy being treated like a piece of meat.  It was kind of crazy.  Every guy in school would have given their right eye for a late night drive to the submarine races with Laurie for a little backseat bingo. It was kind of a blast that I was the one who did it. And weird because I couldn’t tell anyone.

            Still the incident got me thinking about things like how girls are better kissers than boys.  At least Laurie was.  Then I began to wonder what other girls kissed like. I had kissed girls before when I was much younger. We used to hide behind Margie’s father’s shed and practice kissing so we would know what to do with boys. Only difference was there wasn’t any groping and no one would have dared French another girl.  Then again back then we thought French kissing was something people in France did. After I thought about things some more I dumped Dirk.    

            “So what happened with Dirk?” Margie questioned me one afternoon when we were hanging out at Buddy Burgers.  She wasn’t surprised when I sent him packing. No one was really. Dirk and I were always breaking up. I swear the real reason I always took him back had more to do with his letterman sweater than any feelings I had for him.  Then again that had been the way I had handled my love life since my very first date. 

“He’s a square,” I rolled my eyes.

“He always was,” she laughed adjusting the small scarf on her neck.  “Just so you know he says he dumped you because, and I quote, ’that paper shaker is real gone.”

“Big whoop,” I laughed. “He also said he hit a home run. Groper never got past second base. I always struck him out before he had a chance to step up to the plate.”

“I know that,” she chuckled still playing with her scarf. “I think he’s just jealous that you hitched a lift in one of the Cherry Mobiles.  Man my wheels look like a wooden crate next to the twins’ cars.”      

“At least you have wheels,” I sighed trying to avoid discussing the twins.   “You keep fiddling with that and I’m gonna wonder if just maybe some chick I know went to the drive-in last night.”

“Forbidden Planet.” She groaned.

“Again? What is it with Mark and that movie?” I sighed dramatically.

“Hey I wanted to see Rebel again,” she fussed. “But no.”

“James Dean,” I gasped clutching my heart.  All the girls were in love with James Dean ever since we saw Rebel Without A Cause. All of the boys hated him while trying to act like him. We were still in mourning over his tragic death the year before. “Lucky you I spent last night watching Dragnet with my Dad.”

“You need to get jacketed,” she suggested earnestly.

“No way,” I waved her off. “I’m waiting to see who makes the team.  How would it look if I pick another nerd who spends the season warming the bench?”

“You could go out with a guy you like,” she grumbled. “You know cast your eyeball on a dreamboat you are hot for instead of going on one fake out after another. There must be some guy at school you dig.”

“What are you writing a book or something?” I scowled dismissing her idea.

            It was a novel concept that really didn’t fly in our tight knit world.  We were cheerleaders and that meant we dated guys on the team. Preferably first string.  I really didn’t give a hoot whose jacket I was wearing.  I was just playing along until I could bolt.  I could tell by the look in her eyes she wasn’t going to drop it.

“Why?” I stressed. “Next year I’ll be in college.”

“Still Smith?” She cringed. “How are you going to find a husband at an all girls’ school?”

“You do remember what happened to Cindy Wilkins don’t you,” I tried to reason with her. “Captain of the squad three years running. She went with Greg who wasn’t on the team all through high school.”

“They got married after graduation,” Margie blinked with surprise. “What’s the prob?”

“Yeah they got married, had a kid right away, got stuck living here. Now he’s an oil jockey down at Simpson’s garage,” I clarified. “Ever see them out in town?”

“Yeah,” she frowned. “Man they were so tight in high school. Now they look so sad. What happened?”

“I just told you.” I stressed. “No offense, but I want to go to college. I want an education. And when I find the right guy I find the right guy.  In the meantime I’m eye balling on the first string. No way I going to the next hop alone.”

“A wallflower you ain’t,” Margie agreed. “Speaking of double trouble.”

“Ah the Swenson girls,” I smirked as they approached wondering just how many guys got a case of whiplash when they walked in the door.  Then again who can blame them?

            “Hey,” Ginny greeted us as they slid into the booth.  It wasn’t unexpected for them to join us.  The cheerleaders always flocked together.  Ginny sat next to Margie and Laurie slid in next to me.  Margie’s eyes kept darting from one to the other. I knew what she was doing. It was something that we all did at one time or another. She was trying to figure which one was which.  I knew who was who when they sat down. Laurie sat a little too close to me; her body language demanded attention. Ginny simply relaxed into the situation.  I wasn’t surprised by their seat selection. I didn’t feel that Laurie had sat next to me to make me feel uncomfortable. Not that I would put it past her. It was just that I had noticed awhile ago that Ginny always sat to the right and Laurie more than likely would sit on the left.  I just always assumed it was so they could face one another.

            “Nice jacket,” I smirked over at Ginny recognizing Bobby Walford’s letterman jacket.  It was no surprise that one of the twins ended up snagging the dreamiest guy in school.  And Ginny and Bobby had been glued at the hip since the summer began. It seemed completely natural that she ended up wearing his jacket. There was, however, this small nagging twinge gnawing at me.  I couldn’t put a name on it then. All I knew was that I felt it every time I saw her and Bobby together.  They looked so gosh darn cute together I just wanted to throw up.

“Heard you dumped Groper,” Laurie taunted me while waving for the waitress.

“Ancient history,” I sighed dramatically.

“You always take him back,” she teased with a dangerous gleam in her brilliant blue eyes.

“If the varmint comes crawling back this time I’m gonna shoot him.” I vowed.

“Definitely splits-ville,” Ginny gloated before ordering two cokes.      

“Did you even see the movie?” Laurie interjected laughing at Margie. “You are wearing far too many scarves without getting a jacket.”

“I got the ring,” Margie boasted revealing Mark’s class ring that was hanging on chain around her neck.

“You get points for that,” Laurie quickly assessed.

“Did you get more for a jacket or a ring?” I teased her pleased by the way her lips curled into an amused smirk.  “Laurie likes to keep score.” I explained to Margie.

“Doesn’t everyone?” Laurie boasted glaring at her sister. “Ouch!  What’re you kicking me for?” She complained to her sister who was sporting a very grim look. The siblings exchanged hostile glares.

            I glanced up at the neon clock on the wall and realized that I had to get moving. “I have to split,” I announced nudging Laurie so I could exit the booth. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t spin around and smack her when she had the nerve to grab my ass. Since no one else had seen her do it I very well couldn’t explain why I suddenly decided to sock her in the jaw. I did give her a hostile glare. “Ouch!” Laurie cried out again. “Will you stop doing that you goof!”

“Nice to know I’m not the only one who fights with my sister.” Margie laughed off their antics.

“Well I’d call her an ugly hag but that’s not true,” Ginny boasted with a brilliant smile.

“Almost wish I could stay and watch the show,” I laughed. “See ya later alligator.”

“In awhile crocodile,” they quickly responded.

            When I arrived home that day I found my mother on the sofa completely captivated by the events happening on As The World Turns.  I never understood why everyone questioned my desire to move away when I was old enough. The truth was I didn’t want to end up like my mother. Sitting there her eyes glued to the television set, chain smoking while my little brother sat on the floor playing with his ant farm.  I loved my mother, still do. I just lacked the desire to follow in her footsteps.  “Eleanore?” She called out to never taking her eyes off of the tiny black and white screen.

“Yeah I got them,” I answered pulling the pack of Chesterfields from my purse. Back then you could do that; buy cigarettes for your parents. All you needed was a note and many times not even that. What mom didn’t know was that I bought two packs and the other was for me. Of course back then I was a smoker. It was cool.  All the movie stars did it.

“What did you do today?” She questioned when I handed her the cigarettes her eyes still locked on the television.

“Not much,” I shrugged. “Hung out with Margie; went for a coke and ran into the Swenson twins.”

“Those girls are so nice.” Mom threw out casually.

            All the parents liked the twins and liked having their kids hang out with them. I suspect that had a lot to do with the fact that the Swenson clan had a lot of money.  I think they felt if you hung out with the twins some of the family’s good fortune might rub off.  I shrugged off her comment it was no use talking to her once the commercial was over. I looked down at my little brother Sammy and tried to understand why watching a bunch of bugs trapped between a couple panes of glass was so fascinating.  “Hey Scooter,” I tried to draw his attention away from the bugs.  “You really like that thing huh?”

“Yup.”

“Ever thought about going outside?” I tried to encourage him.

“Nope.”

            “Okay then,” I rolled my eyes. Again, I was a teenager.  My body language was restricted to rolling my eyes, shrugging my shoulders, twirling my hair and of course, sighing like the world was coming to an end. I took one last look at my brother. The poor guy had more nicknames than you could count. There was Scooter, Junior and since my Dad’s name was Sam, Sammy, little Sammy, Skippy, Scamp and of course, Skeeter. Half the time I didn’t know what to call him. I blame his many personas on my parents’ addiction to television.  It was no small wonder he got the snot beat out of him almost everyday at school.  Then again his daily torture might have more to do with his strange fascination with bugs and his general creepy nature.  Later I would learn that he just marched to the beat of a different drummer. Back then I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t even see how different I was from everyone else.

            Summer ended and our last year of school began. Once again all was right with the world. I made the squad again. A major bonus was that Margie and I were selected to be co-captains. I was doing well in my classes, the squad was razing the freshmen and even though I secretly agreed with the guys that the Swenson twins were a couple of hottie totties, I was handling it.  The only crisis looming over me was what to wear to Sandy’s latest party.  God bless Sandy and her absentee parents.

            The party was in full swing, Elvis was on the record player, we had beer, smokes and no parental supervision.  What more could we ask for?  All the kids really dug Sandy’s parents because they went out of town almost every weekend leaving Sandy all alone in such a big house.  It was amazing they never suspected that every time they left town every jock and rah-rah were crashed in their living room guzzling beer. Our thoughts at the time were limited to who cares? We never stopped to think that just perhaps it was Sandy’s parents who didn’t care.  We were too young and self involved to think about such things.

            That night the only thing we were concerned about was that our team had won the game that day and one of the guys had a fake ID.  I was perched on the sofa with a small group of people trying to discuss something deeper than what happened on Gun Smoke that week. “All I am saying is that she was not only already enrolled at the university, but she was attending classes,” I fumed. “How can they just decide that it was illegal for her to be a student?  What about Brown vs. the Board of Education?”

“They didn’t just decide!” Ron who was a fullback argued.  “They removed her from classes because of the riots.  It was for her own safety.”

            Ron O’Keefe was quickly moving up my list for the next Sock Hop. I didn’t agree with him, but at least he was able to hold up his end of the conversation.  I hated that at times I had to play dumb because most guys were put off when you expressed an opinion or commented on anything socially relevant.

“Big whoop!” Dirk belched after downing his beer.  “Who cares what a bunch of squares in Oklahoma are doing?”

“Alabama!” Ron and I berated him.  I threw in a swift kick to his shin.  I still hadn’t forgiven him for spreading lies about me.  “Whatever.” The misguided idiot burped.

“Wow!” Mark who was standing behind us whimpered. 

            Every guy in the room suddenly stopped speaking while their eyes glazed over and became riveted to the doorway.  It could only mean one thing.  “Oh goodie the twins are here,” Candy grunted with disdain.

            I glanced over my shoulder stifling a little sigh when I spotted them.  They looked perfect; they always did.  I smirked when I looked at the glazed over looks every guy sported.

“Invasion of the body snatchers,” I snickered.

            “Do they have to dress alike?” Margie snarled. It was a bit out of character for Margie to say something mean about the twins. Still it wasn’t a shock either. All the girls got along with the twins. Hung out with them, doubled with them and acted like we were their friends. And most of the girls at one time or another cursed them behind their backs. There wasn’t a big mystery as to why it happened. The guys turned stupid, falling all over themselves whenever the twins entered a room.

“They’re doing the scarf thing,” I offered trying to sound blasé.

“The scarf thing?” Ron stammered like a complete goober.

‘Yeah you just dropped way down on my date list!’  I silently grumbled crossing my arms across my chest.

“They are wearing different colored scarves,” Margie rolled her eyes.  “They do that sometimes.”

“Green for Ginny and Lavender for Laurie,” Candy dryly explained.

“You mean purple?” Dirk scratched his head.

“More of a lilac really,” Margie concluded her bitter tone ebbing slightly.

“Yeah okay,” Dirk shook his head. “All you chicks wear those little scarves. I thought it was just to hide hickeys.”

“Sometimes.” I confessed.  “The twins color co-ordinate sometimes to help them out. They do it if one or both of them have a date.  They don’t want the guy to get confused.”

“Again who cares?” Dirk laughed like a moron. “Twice as much fun.”

            I took the laughter that followed his moronic comment as my cue to get up and make myself another drink.  Margie nudged me. “Looks like Ginny is the lucky one,” she whispered. “She’s with Bobby again.”

“Not like Laurie to fly solo,” I noted.  Then I snuck off to the laundry room where I had stashed my own personal bottle of Bacardi.  I have to confess I stole a couple more looks at the twins before sneaking into the dark room.

            I felt a little off centered when I thought about Laurie being at the party alone. I decided that I really did need another drink perhaps two.  After I downed my first drink I could still hear the boys cackling like idiots. A second cocktail was most definitely in order.  I felt all warm and fuzzy. ‘Yes two drinks were a good idea.’  I decided since I wasn’t eager to rejoin the festivities.  I began pouring my third rum and a splash of coke when I jumped slightly.  My heart was racing; someone had joined me in the laundry room and shut the door behind them.  I blew out a sigh of relief when she greeted me.

“Howdy Laurie,” I laughed feeling silly that I had been so skittish. “Care to join me?” I offered handing her my drink.

“Always.” She purred.

            I shivered instantly recognizing the alluring timber of her voice.  She sounded the same way she did that night last summer when she was trying to get me into the backseat of her car.  “Hmmf.” I sniffed trying extremely hard to appear casual. I turned away from her haughty gaze and poured myself a drink.  When I turned back around my palms were sweating and I felt anything but calm.  It was all coming back to me. The rum, the way she was looking at me, the way she was standing much too close to me; and then there was the constant fluttering in my stomach. 

“I kind of,” she shyly began.

“Uh Huh,” I offered feebly fighting valiantly not to lean closer to her.

“You know last summer,” she whispered closing the distance between us.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about that,” I coolly retorted still fighting against the way my skin was tingling.

            My act was useless. I set my cup down thinking that I was doing it because I had already drunk too much.  Deep in my heart I knew I had set it aside knowing it would give her an entrance.  I swallowed hard when she placed her cup beside mine. I fought against the overwhelming urge to meet her gaze.  Another mistake; my focus became riveted to her soft, supple lips. I could feel my breathing becoming labored. Her lips parted ever so slightly allowing her tongue to peek out.  My knees went weak watching her tongue slowly wetting her lips.

“I’m screwed.” I foolishly muttered when her hand came to rest on my shoulder.

“Not yet,” she toyed with me brushing her body against mine.  “No one knows that we are in here.”

            ‘It does make some sense.’ I silently reasoned slipping my arms around her waist. The fluttering in my stomach began a rampage. I watched as she tipped her head. My eyes drifted shut when I felt her body trembling against mine.  The kiss began shyly. It was different from the last time. This kiss was so sweet.  I trembled; feeling her fingers teasing the nape of my neck.  I began to tease her bottom lip with the tip of my tongue.  I released a deep moan when she parted her lips inviting me in.  I wasted no time in accepting her offer.  Her touch was tender and yet tantalizing at the same time; setting my body on fire.

            I was so completely captivated by her kisses that when I felt her hand slipping down along the curves of my body I didn’t offer any resistance. Our bodies melted together; my hips swaying against her in a gentle rhythm.  I moaned into the warmth of her mouth.  Her nimble fingers began to hike up my skirt.  As good as what was happening felt I had danced this dance before. Slowly I withdrew my mouth from hers; allowing her just enough time to get up and under my skirt. I grasped both of her wrists shoving her hands away from my body.

“I’m sorry I thought that maybe we could . . . You know. It was so nice last summer.” She feebly explained.

“Nice?” I gaped at her. “No it wasn’t. As for fun, true; last summer was fun.  Forgive me if I want more in life than a little fun.” I corrected her pushing her slightly away by pressing my finger firmly into her shoulder blade. 

“I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized again stepping shyly away. 

“Here’s the deal; like I told your sister it is gonna take a hell of a lot more than a little rum to make me give it up,” I fumed keeping my voice low so our conversation couldn’t be over heard.

“How did you?” She laughed.

“Just back off Ginny,” I warned her.  “Your sister didn’t score and neither will you.”

“She didn’t?”

            “No she didn’t,” I snarled. I wanted to strangle Laurie.  I should have known she would lie about what had happened.  I wanted to read Ginny the riot act as well. There was something in her eyes that made my anger inexplicably vanish. I took a calming breath before I finished what I needed to say. “You just struck out as well.”  My words were blunt.  Strangely there wasn’t a hint of malice in my tone.  As much as I wanted to I just didn’t feel it.

“It’s cool,” she threw up her hands in defeat before she thankfully took a giant step back. “Wow you know most people can’t tell us apart. How did you?”

“You may look exactly alike, but you are not the same person,” I asserted handing her the drink she had abandoned before retrieving my own.

“Most people don’t get that,” she smiled.  “So what was your first clue?”

“For starters Laurie doesn’t like to take no for answer,” I slowly explained. “You on the other hand apologized and backed off.”

“She didn’t?” She gasped with horror. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that she was persistent and thought that a little more rum might change my mind,” I ruefully recounted. “Eventually she got the point. Honestly I thought Dirk was a butt head, but Laurie should be the one named Groper.  So how many points was I worth?”

“Ellen I’m sorry; it was wrong,” she tried to apologize.

“How many?”

“Well she said she hit a homerun” she reluctantly confessed.  “So she got bonus points.”

“Almost,” I muttered completely embarrassed by the situation. “Third base.  Still she lied.”

“Definite flag on the play.”

“Geez Louise, she really is worse than Dirk,” I sneered.  “Just how often do you clowns pull this little stunt?  You know the old switch-a-roo?  And why do you keep score?”

“It started as a joke,” she meekly began. 

“It isn’t funny.”

“I know,” she sighed heavily. “It started a really long time ago. Around the time we realized that we look exactly alike.  Then one of us would have trouble in one class or another.  Swapping dates came much later.”

“That was you in my math class,” I exclaimed.  “I can kind of understand that. If I could get someone to fill in for me during some of my exams it would be pretty keen. Still swapping dates is gross. And playing me is way out of line.  What if someone found out? I’m having a hard enough time explaining this to myself.”

“It was stupid and callous,” Ginny rapidly blew out.  “I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Just don’t to forget to penalize her for lying,” I reluctantly conceded.

“Oh I will.” She promised with a brilliant smile.

“Switching dates for points and chuckles why?” I demanded before downing my drink.

“At first we never thought we’d get away with it, but we did,” she tried to explain polishing off her cocktail.

“Damn we’re out of rum,” I groaned holding up the empty bottle.  “So what’d you do tonight sneak off to the bathroom and switch scarfs? She gets a shot at Bobby and you try to pull a fast one on me?”

“No,” she bit back a laugh. “Laurie’s been with Bobby since he came to the house to pick me up. Oh and she was his date after the game last week.”

“Hasn’t he noticed?” I was flabbergasted. 

“Nope,” she shrugged. “Like I said most people never figure it out.  Ellen I really want to apologize again.  It was bogus for me to try this stunt on you.”

“Yes it was,” I scolded her wagging my finger in her face.  “Just for the record you could at least buy a girl a milkshake or something before you pounce.”

“So you dig kissing girls?” She questioned with a mischievous grin.

“Uhm, well yeah kind of,” I blushed. “I mean I don’t know. I must since I keep doing it.”  My mouth was way ahead of my brain. By the time the words caught up with me I was terrified. I wasn’t worried that Ginny would spill the beans still what I had said was troubling.

            The sounds of the party seemed to be closing in. We tossed our cups and straightened our clothing.  “Ellen I’m not going to tell anyone.” She promised as we made our way towards the door.

“I know,” I sighed wistfully. “We should get back before someone comes looking for us.”

“Shucks I was hoping for spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven,” she teased me.

            “Laugh it up,” I elbowed her.  For the life of me I couldn’t understand why I was so calm about things. I just was. There I was acting like we had snuck off to grab a smoke instead of what really had happened. Maybe it was because unlike my encounter with Laurie, Ginny had left me feeling all warm and fuzzy. Whatever the reason I felt completely at ease. So I just went with it. “Just cause I let you kiss me doesn’t mean you can razz me. Oh by the way that is the best way to tell you apart.”

“What is?” She questioned with confusion as we reentered the party.

            I sighed smiling up at her with a wry grin. I reached up so I could whisper in her ear. “Kissing,” I shrugged. “You kiss differently. It definitely sets you apart.”

“Wait! How? Who?” She was completely flustered.

“No way, no how,” I laughed. “The both of you have scored enough points at my expense.  Though I do enjoy torturing you. Speaking of torture are you going to be Laurie all night?”

“Yeah.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” I gulped spying Laurie and Bobby engaged in a heavy make out session in the corner of the room. “How long have you been dating him?”

“The first day of summer when we all hit the beach,” she shrugged.

“And you don’t mind?”

“No.” She confirmed with a bright smile. “Relieved actually.  Just remember I’m Laurie tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say wisenheimer,” I laughed.

“So, by different just how different?” She pried.

“Not going to tell you,” I taunted her slipping back into the crowd before she could conjure up anymore embarrassing questions.

            I don’t understand why the situation amused me but it did.  It was really wild.  There was this part of me that was all torn up inside.  I could rationalize going back for seconds with Laurie. Again I had the great all time excuse of what the hell I’ve been drinking and I’m still curious.  That didn’t explain why I willingly kissed Ginny.  The moment our lips touched I knew it wasn’t Laurie.  It was kind of cool that one of my questions had been answered.  All summer long I kept wondering if Laurie was such a good kisser could her sister be just as talented.  

            Talent doesn’t begin to describe what that girl could do with her lips and tongue. I thought Laurie had rocked my boat. Ginny blew me out of the water. That night we were one another’s shadow. Sticking so closely together didn‘t look or feel weird. We were after all the only girls at the party who hadn‘t paired off with some guy. 

            The only stumbling block I felt was calling her Laurie all night. It didn’t feel right.  Since everyone else was preoccupied with their dates we really talked that night. Not about the things we normally talked about like movies, boys or the other mundane topics.  We talked about colleges, the future and even world events.  It was so refreshing to be able to discuss subjects that went deeper than the latest fashion trends.  Of course Ginny did keep slipping in her nagging question. What did I mean by different. I really got a chuckle out of teasing her.

“Well it’s official,” I grimly noted checking my watch when the lights were dimmed.  “It’s a petting party. I guess I should split.”

            Ginny nodded in agreement and followed after me.  We walked around the huge backyard swinging past the swimming pool. It was warm that night and we didn’t feel a need to talk.  The warm silence felt like an embrace and I didn’t want it to end.  Inside the music had stopped and we understood that the silence meant that the party had only just begun. For me the best part of the party was walking along side of me.  Totally not helping with my constant state of confusion and again it felt too good to question.

            We ended up strolling across the lawn stopping under a large oak tree. I wanted to ask for a cigarette not because I wanted to smoke; I was simply running out reasons to stay. “Beautiful night,” she whispered her soft voice resonating in the darkness.  I glanced over at her leaning against the tree.

            “Yes it is.” I smiled drinking in her beauty. I folded my hands behind my back knowing that I couldn’t be trusted not to react.  Ginny’s sparkling blue eyes made my heart beat faster.  I thought I should say something.  I couldn’t; words seemed inadequate at that moment in time.

“This is hard,” her breathy tone making me shiver.  I didn’t ask what she meant. I knew.  I felt it too.  I just stood there captivated by her eyes, her shy smile and by the way the faint hint of moonlight was glistening in her hair. The only thing that would have made the moment perfect was if she wasn’t standing so far away from me.  There-in lies the rub.  I wanted her not only to be by my side, I wanted to feel her arms wrapped around my body. I wanted to kiss her; to become lost in her kiss. Alas it couldn’t happen. It shouldn’t happen and most importantly it wouldn’t happen. She had promised she wouldn’t and I knew she would keep her word.

            Talk about leaving the ball in my court. It was up to me and I knew that it was the last thing I should allow to happen.  What I should have done was say goodnight and walk home.  My body refused to move.  No blaming it on alcohol this time. The effects of the rum had long since dissipated.  This foreign yearning held me in a tight embrace. I refused to release it.  I was helpless to break away from her smoldering gaze.

“What are you thinking?” She finally pried taking a tentative step forward.

“That I should be going,” I absently responded still lost in her eyes.

“Oh?” She nodded her face clouded with disappointment.

            Something deep inside me sensed that she was about to retreat. Without thinking I reached out and captured her hand.  My body tingled from her touch. I drew her closer. My heart was racing as I pulled her up against me. “The thing is I can’t.” I whimpered, my arms encircling her waist.

“Then don’t.” She gasped her warm breath caressing my face.

            I kissed her long and deep. Her tongue felt like velvet as it caressed mine.  It was just one kiss. One very long, spine tingling kiss.  There up against that tree I experienced the nicest, most intense kiss of my life.  I would have gladly kept kissing her if my lungs hadn’t started screaming for oxygen.  “At the risk of sounding like a jackass,” she carefully began stroking her thumb against my cheek.

“What?” I boldly smiled. “This time I kissed you.”

“Oh that you did,” she gleefully blew out.  “It was nice.”

“Yes.” I sighed happily.

“What I was going to suggest,” she snickered stepping slightly away from me.  “I should give you a ride home.  I’m not trying to pull a fast one.  It’s just that it is getting late and trust me, we don’t want to get caught doing this.”

“Pumpkin time,” I wistfully agreed.

            She never released my hand as we walked to her car.  My body felt a sense of loss when she released my hand in order to open the car door for me.  “Well this is different.” I wryly commented after she joined me and started the engine.

“What’s that?” She carefully questioned putting the car in gear.

“No over flowing ashtray. No bottles of booze rolling around the floor,” I explained hoping to set aside any fears she might be feeling. “Laurie’s car is a garbage dump next to yours.”

“Hey I let her have my boyfriend for the night,” she laughed lightly pulling out of the long driveway. “No way was she touching my car.”

“Nice to see you have your priorities in order,” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hey you should see her room,” Ginny grimaced.

“No thanks.”  I curtly responded.

“I’ll pass that along,” Ginny smirked.

“Please, do.” I sighed happily slumping in my seat. I felt so content to just sit there and watch her drive.  My heart sank when she pulled into my driveway. I reached for the door handle.

“I’ll get that.” She graciously offered fully prepared to get out and open the door.

            Again my heart was filled with dread. “Uhm no,” I sadly cut her off.

“I was going to walk you to the door,” she quietly stated.

“I . . . I can’t,” I shyly grumbled. “I just . . . I don’t trust myself. Does that make any sense? I’m sorry. Like I said I’m having a hard enough time explaining this to myself.  I must sound like a complete spaz.”

“No,” she reassured me with a tender smile. “Trust me Ellen, I understand.”

“I wish I did,” I groaned forcing myself to open the door.  “Good night.” I finally offered pushing my body in motion before I could change my mind.

“Good night,” she echoed.  “Sweet dreams.”

            I bit back the whimper that tried to escape.  I swallowed hard before feebly nodding my head and dashing into the house.  “Oh I will.” I finally confessed once I was safely inside my house.

“Eleanore?” I heard my Dad’s voice booming from upstairs.

“Oh yeah definitely pumpkin time.” I growled before stomping up to my bedroom.

            As I lie in bed that evening I was a little frightened by what happened.  Just a little. Mostly I was excited and filled with the sense of bravado I had never felt before. I knew it was wrong, so very wrong. Then why did I feel like I had just scaled Mount Everest?  That was it. I felt like I was on top of the world.  Anything was possible.  Knowing that it wasn’t a date and could never be considered a date did nothing to diminish my zeal.  Even knowing that if anyone found out my life would essentially be over couldn’t taint the sweet memory.  It may not have been a date, but it was the best night of my life.  “So this is what puppy love feels like?” I mirthfully questioned.

            The following Monday I was sneaking a quick smoke after practice. I was hiding behind the gym and jumped a mile when someone walked up. I rolled my eyes when I saw who it was.  “Hey Laurie.”

“You really can tell us apart?” She sputtered in wonderment. “Can’t believe you ratted me out.”

“I can’t believe you thought it was cool to use me,” I spat back taking a dramatic drag on my cigarette.  “Not to mention telling your sister you got to heaven when you so didn’t.”

“Don’t be a drag,” she waved me off. “She’s just mad because she wanted you first. She was planning on hitting on you in the locker room.”

“So you beat her to the punch by taking me to the submarine races,” I scowled. “I feel so special.”

“Chill Sandra Dee,” she sneered. “Look Ginny said I need to apologize; so sorry.”

“Oh that was heart felt,” I groaned.

“Chill out,” she growled.  “Hey is it true we don’t kiss alike?”

“Not even close,” I countered with a cocky smile snubbing out my cigarette.

“So?”

“Don’t even bother,” I cautioned her. “I’m not telling you.”

“You’re making it up.” She accused me.

“Whatever.” I shrugged not in the mood to play games with her.

“Just don’t be telling Bobby,” she threatened me. “I like him and I won’t have the likes of you screwing things up for me.”

“So you like guys?” I was really confused.

“Yeah,” she seemed surprised. “I’m not a lesbo or a switchback.  I was just having fun.”

“If you say so.”

            “Hey Sport,” my dad greeted Sammy when he arrived home that night. I think he was running out of things to call the kid.  My parents finally decided that the kid shouldn’t be allowed to wallow in the living room all day. So when he got home from school and finished his homework the little creep was banished to the great outdoors. Sammy decided that enjoying the outside world meant he would sit on the porch all day long watching the neighbor’s dog.  “Wanna play catch?” Dad almost pleaded.

“Nope.”

“Okay then,” Dad quickly gave up before entering the house.

            I was still finishing my homework and had been watching the exchange through the window.  “Hey Kitten,” he greeted me. I was either Eleanore, Ellie, Kitten or my personal favorite, Princess. I swear my parents either watched way too much television or didn’t know what they wanted when they named us.  “Mom’s in the kitchen fixing dinner.” I offered still trying to complete my homework so I could begin the most important part of my evening, which was of course making telephone calls.  Truth was Mom was probably just starting dinner, but half way through her first pitcher of martinis.

“Has he been doing that all day?” Dad questioned nodding towards the window.

“Since I got home,” I confided.

“What exactly is he doing?” Dad sputtered.

“Sitting watching the Muller’s dog.” I shrugged.

“Why?”

“Who knows?” I groaned still trying to figure out my math problems.

“Ellie!” My mother beckoned my attention before giving my father a peck on the cheek. “Dinner will be ready in half an hour. Put your books away and get changed. I am not washing your uniform again this week.”

“I will,” I rolled my eyes. “I just need to finish this.”

“Don’t forget to set the table,” she added before disappearing back into the kitchen.

“Do I ever?”  I grumbled under my breath.

“Don’t sass your mother,” Dad sternly cautioned me.

            Our heads jerked when we heard Sammy speaking to someone. “Tell me that someone is out there with him?” Dad pleaded. I leaned over and pushed back the curtain.

“Yes there is,” I blew out with relief.  My skin prickled when I discovered who was sitting next to my quirky kid brother.

“Thank goodness.”

“It’s a cheerleader,” I smirked as I stood while smoothing out my pleated skirt. “One of the Swenson twins.”

“Maybe there’s hope for the boy yet,” Dad smiled proudly.

‘Well the kid has good taste.’ I silently chuckled before making my way outside to save my fellow pom-pom waver from my creepy kid brother.  I was stunned by the way the little booger was chatting away when I sat down next to her. By her polite demeanor and easy going attitude I knew which one she was.

“And it isn’t in his nature to be confined by a chain,” Sammy rattled on.  “That’s why he keeps digging under the fence.”

“Scooter,” I interrupted not missing the scowl that formed on his tiny lips. 

“It is okay,” Ginny waved off the interruption. “Sam here was just explaining why he thinks your neighbor’s dog is trying to make a break for it. Before that I learned all about the blue jay up in that tree over there.  This little guy is a regular Dr. Doolittle.”

“Dr. Jekle is more like it,” I snarled glaring down at him. “You weren’t bothering my friend were you?”

“I was just talking to Ginny,” he blushed.

“How did you know it was me?” She teased ruffling his short red hair.

“Just did.” He mumbled with a blush.

            Then I noticed where his little eyes were focused. “Oh creepy!” I blanched leaning over Ginny and smacking the little pervert in the head.  “You little perv.”

“What?” Ginny laughed leaning further back.

“He was looking at your boobs,” I whispered in her ear.

“Was not.” He furiously denied.

“Was too.”

“So were you,” the little snot trumped me. I reached over Ginny’s body falling into her lap as I a made an attempt to throttle him.

“Uhm,” Ginny groaned nudging me off of her lap. “As good as that feels,” she panted with a blush. “Your neighbors might get the wrong idea. Could you kill him later? And you,” she turned and wagged her finger at Sammy. “Here I thought you only enjoyed studying wildlife.  A word of advice little man when you are checking out chicks try not to be so obvious.”

“That’s not how I knew it was you,” he whined and we all knew he was lying. “Well it helped. But you’re nicer.”

“Thank you,” she laughed. “So Sam what’s it going to take to make you keep your trap shut?”

“Can I sit in your car?”

“Go ahead,” she waved. “Don’t worry I have the keys,” she whispered to me as Sammy bolted towards her car.  I didn’t really pay attention to his squealing. I was far too busy trying to figure out the differences between Laurie and Ginny’s bust.  “You know you can’t tell him not to do that then do it yourself.”

“You’re bigger,” I gloated. “Smart kid.”

            She laughed heartily nudging me away. “Yes they are and yes he is,” she continued laughing. “He really knows a lot about wildlife.”

“Wildlife?” I mumbled the pieces falling into the place. “That makes me feel better I was beginning to worry about the neighborhood pets. So you didn’t have time to change either?” I questioned tugging on her skimpy cheerleading outfit.

“Home work,” she groaned. “Just when I finished mine Laurie was having problems with her math assignment so I did it for her. It‘s a pain sometimes.  She‘s just as smart as me. Laurie just gets bored so she sticks me with her homework.”

“Oh?” I nodded while fighting against the urge to check out her bosom again. “Wait you finished it? The math assignment, you know how to figure out the answers?”

“Would you like help?”

“Yes,” I squealed clasping her by the hand pulling her to her feet before dragging her into the house.

“It’s gonna cost you,” she whimsically chimed while studying my notes. “Oh you are so close. Sit down and I’ll show you where you are taking a wrong turn.”

“So what’s this gonna cost me?” I questioned as she explained the problem to me.

“Well you know we have practice on Thursday afternoon and Friday night, and the game is on Saturday night,” she shyly began while carefully writing out my math problem. “Take this and move it down here.”

“Wow.” I gaped as the jumbled numbers suddenly made sense to me. “Okay you were saying we’re cheerleaders and have a busy weekend; go on.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to catch a flick on Sunday night.” She sheepishly requested.

“It’s a school night,” I groaned.

“I was thinking we could go see Bus Stop,” she whispered almost embarrassed. “I really want to see it.”

“Who doesn’t?” I beamed. “To bad Giant isn’t out yet. Rock Hudson and James Dean.”

“And Elizabeth Taylor,” she teased emphasizing her point by running the tip of her shoe along my calf.

“Oh yeah,” I agreed inhaling sharply from the feel of her foot teasing my leg.  “Elizabeth Taylor,” I whispered in agreement thinking that Ginny’s eyes resembled the attractive actress’s’.

“You’re blushing,” she purred in a hushed tone. 

“I can’t imagine why,” I choked out moving my leg out of her reach.

“Do you want to see the movie?”

“Of course I do,” I asserted. “It is supposed to be killer.  It’s not playing in town, but it is playing at the movie house in Bedford and you do have a car. I guess if we catch the early show my folks won’t mind.”

“Uhm, I was kind of thinking we could catch it in Topsfield,” she hesitantly explained.

            “Topsfield?” I shook my head completely confused as to why she would want to drive that far away to see the same movie we could catch one town over. “The only place to see a flick in Topsfield is at . . . The drive- in?” I fumed.  “I don’t think so. I know the other night was . . . I don’t want to lead you on.  The party was one thing, but a trip to the passion pit.”  I was dealing fine with the events of the other night.  Going from a little kissing to an outing at the drive-in was a huge leap.

“It’s not what you think,” she argued.

            “Oh good cause I was thinking you were gonna try for a round of backseat bingo. But since you aren‘t the pig that your sister is I guess I shouldn‘t worry,”  I grumbled keeping my voice low while praying that the folks had already started another pitcher of martinis. “So it would be a double date complete with a third wheel like the last time? Or are you bad news just like your sister? And is the drive-in still open this awfully late in the season?”

            “It’s the last weekend it will be open. Ellen I swear I have a reason for suggesting the drive-in,” she blew out also keeping her voice low. “If we go to Bedford the rest of the gang will want to crash the party. Which always turns into a huge production trying to get everyone organized. If we ditch them and just go by ourselves they’ll be frosted that we didn‘t invite them.  I really want to see this movie without having to listen to what happened at the game the night before or who is dating who.  It kind of makes it hard to follow the flick when the person next to you keeps jumping up so she can fix her lipstick.”

“Then go with your boyfriend,” I curtly informed her.

“Bobby and I broke up,” she shrugged as if it was no big deal. “Laurie is really into him and as of this afternoon he’s dating her now.”

“He’s been dating her for sometime only he didn’t know it,” I sneered.

“True,” she conceded. “Hey Laurie’s always been more into guys. When she finds one she’s interested in sometimes I give them a test drive.”

“Test drive? Are you talking about dating or looking for a new set of wheels?”

“Oh come on Ellen,” she tsked me. “First dates are a drag especially blind dates or fix ups.  Ever go out with some guy you were sure was Rock Hudson and by the time the night was over he had turned into a real Pondexter? Or he‘s terrific and you’re really nervous and act like a total nerd?”

“Let me think,” I muttered drumming my fingers against the table. “I started dating right after the folks let me pierce my ears so I’d have to say that sounds like every first date I‘ve ever been on.”

“What if you could send someone in your place?” She concluded with a wry smirk. “Think of how many nerds you never would have had to share pizza with. Tell me you don’t think that is just a little cool?”

            I had to admit it did sound kind of cool. Still there was something kind of grody about it as well. “Okay it would have saved me from Dale,” I finally threw in the towel. “I mean he was cute, and we’re talking Tyrone Power cute.  Who knew he had a problem with B.O and when he tried to kiss me goodnight his tongue was huge and it kept flopping around like a fish trying to get back in the water.  For guys like that I’d cash in on having a twin.  Still what if you got out with the guy and you end up liking him?”

 “Never mind that what about the movie?” She instantly shifted gears.

“You could ask another guy,” I pointed even though I was truly tempted by her offer. “There’s a whole long line of them who would sell their soul for