2009 OFFICIAL XENA CONVENTION
Los Angeles, California, USA

January 30 - 1 February, 2009

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Con 09 L.A. Lucy and Renee - Part 3

by KT
fsktl@uaf.edu

Then Renee talks about something they were doing together and Lucy doesn’t seem to remember. She asks, “Was I cooking at the time?” I believe that Renee must have looked puzzled that she would ask that. Lucy explains, “’Cause that would stand out”. (We’ve heard many times in the past that Lucy doesn’t cook. One year she claimed that even when she made sandwiches for her little son’s lunch, it was a failure and he’d ask that someone else make them for him in the future.)

She was responding to something a fan said. “I just have so many friends that are discriminated against.” (Could have been that she was being thanked for protesting against the passage of Prop 8 in California-the bill that discriminates against lesbians and gays having the same rights as hets do.) Then she mentioned “The Star Belly Sneetches”.

Renee didn’t know what the heck she was talking about. (Not all of us in the audience did either. I myself had to go look it up just now for this report.)

Lucy looked at Renee in amazement. “C’mon! You call yourself a mother!?” And then she began to recite it. “The Star Belly Sneetches had bellies with stars. . . .” It was IMMEDIATELY recognizable as a Dr. Seuss story/poem. After throwing out a few more anapestic couplets, “’Cause we got stars on our bellies!”, she explained the story. That the sneetches with stars on their bellies were discriminating against the ones who didn’t have them. Then the ones with stars had theirs removed and then nobody had them and then everybody had ‘em, I don’t know, something like that. She summed it up by saying, “Nobody is better than anybody else.” Then she looked at Renee and said, “Except you.”

A fan brought up Lucy outing Sarah Palin. Renee asked her what that was all about. Lucy told her how she had heard that Sarah was being called a “Warrior Princess” and when asked in an interview about it, Lucy replied, “I didn’t know Sarah Palin was a lesbian.” And then one of them said something about being deep in the closet.

Renee laughed, and said to us, “She kills me!” And then I think it was Renee who added, “I haven’t seen you lately-it’s been too long.” (Um, she was talking to Lucy then, not us.)

Then, I missed the beginning of this but Lucy talked about being asked to do some things by people, “I feel weird doing it on cue. (Imitating a voice): “I’ll give you ten bucks to kiss my husband!” “And what does that make me? I’m doing it for charity, but I’m still a ho.”

(Hmmm. This reminds me of season six when some fans got together and pledged to give money to charities if PacRen would make an episode where the grrls kissed. There were rules like they had to be in their own bodies, neither of them could be dying, there couldn’t be any excuses like helping each other breath under water, it had to be a no way to be anything else but a kiss just to be a kiss moment. And of course, when PacRen didn’t rise to the blackmail bait, (IF they even knew about it), some of those fans tore into them for not supporting charities. Ah, those days of crazy fan shenanigans. . .)

Aw shoot. Someone brought up a comedy ep and Lucy said, “I didn’t know how to have nothing to do.” (Which she’s said in the past about the comedies.) Now I knew at the time from the description what ep it was and I was thinking as I was frantically scribbling along, “I’ll just remember that”. And of course I don’t now. Lucy asked us, “What’s that show called?” and some of us roared the answer out but I can’t quite hear it in my memory. Anyway, it was one of the comedies. (Last time, I think she was talking about The Xena Scrolls.) Lucy explained, “I had no words”. I believe she meant she didn’t know what to do when she wasn’t saying dialogue or interacting with one of the other actors and was just standing around in the background.

In terms of not being in the center of the story, she said, “I did not let Xena have a small ‘x’”. Renee declared, “Xena doesn’t HAVE a small ‘x’”. Which made some of the audience laugh-which made some the non-laughing audience wonder why they were laughing. (There were questioning murmurs towards seat neighbors, okay?) I believe Lucy tied this in with being a guest star on other people’s shows, that she wasn’t the star and found it hard to not act as if her character was. (If not here, she did say this somewhere during her appearance.)

Someone asked about the Xena movie. Lucy answered, “I believe we covered that, dahling.” (And yes it was covered, if not by Lucy and Renee and I just didn’t note it down, maybe it was Rob during the Seeker panel who discussed it.)

Lucy asked (I think the fan who asked about the movie), “Where are you from?” The person answered, “The Philippines” Lucy gave a wide smile and said something like “I knew that!” She said, “Xena was like number 1 in the Philippines forever. I want to go there.”

A fan asked about what modern convenience Xena and Gabrielle would like to have. She reminded Lucy that she had been asked this same question ten years ago. Lucy said that her answer had been, “Tampons”. Renee was asked and she thought for a bit and then said, “Maybe a microwave oven.” Lucy waved her hand and said, “A microwave for the little woman!” Then Lucy said something about Pedi Paws-some kind of safety machine to trim animal’s nails. (I’m betting she’s seen infomercials on it while waiting for Court TV to sign on for the day.) She added something about trimming Argo’s hoofs. (Or that might have been someone near me in the audience who said that-not sure.)

Renee was asked maybe what she missed the most when she moved to New Zealand or maybe what differences she found there. Pause. Then, “They didn’t have peanut butter.”

You know, I have read that much of the rest of the world find peanut butter repulsive. In fact, I JUST remembered this instant that years ago, I was chatting with a Kiwi friend online and mentioned to her that on archeology survey projects when we’d be hiking all over the Arctic and sub-arctic wilderness for weeks at a time, we used to live on peanut butter, pilot bread and jam. Or, as we cleverly called, “PB, PB and J”. She expressed vast disgust at just the thought of it-so I promptly made one up, wrapped it carefully in aluminum foil and mailed it to her in New Zealand as a little surprise present. And she was validated-she told me that just seeing it stunned her silly because it looked so utterly revolting. It was as disgusting to her as Marmite is to (sane) Americans. (She did NOT take a taste.)

Lucy said something about Renee’s boyfriend at the time who was in New Zealand with her. Lucy didn’t seem real approving. Renee looked at her and said, “I don’t get it.” Lucy asked her “You ever see that guy?” “No.” Lucy nodded, with a very satisfied, “See?” look on her face.

Then someone asked about her note on her web page where she talked about going away and tuning up her soul for a bit. (Which had caused consternation among some fans-they worried over this and wanted to know the REAL reasons why she was taking a break.)

Lucy laughed and explained that “Drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade turns me into a maudlin Russian”. (Actually, what I wrote down at the con was “Mai Tai Lemonade?” but have since read other posters calling it Mikes’ Hard Lemonade.)

“Rob wants to go to Laos, Vietnam.” So they’ll be gone for a while, first in New Zealand and then traveling around Asia.

At this point, Lucy and Renee were given the high sign from Creation staff that their time was about up. I think it was Lucy who said in an aggrieved tone, “Why do we have to go? Why are you kicking us out?”

A fan from Berlin, now I’m not sure if she first talked in English or German, but I think she said in German that she had heard Lucy speaks German. And she asked her to answer her in German. Lucy said, “I would answer you in German, but I want everybody else to understand.” (Lots of giggles and “Uh-huh” types of laughs in the audience.) Lucy however, showed us up by working her way through a few sentences, auf Deutsch. (I caught one new German word-“gebombed”.)

I think Renee said to Lucy something like, “But you do speak a number of languages.” Lucy answered, “French, German, Italian.” (I think she’s said in the past that she’s studied some of these when she was studying to be an opera singer. Or else that was just my deduction.)

Lucy said she enjoys learning and speaking other languages. “I like the code of it all. English speakers find it too hard. I love it.”

Renee talked about when they first met. She said she was so impressed that Lucy could speak all these languages but was also impressed by her response when Renee complimented her on that. Renee said to her, “Remember? You said ‘Just because you know languages doesn’t mean you have intellect.” Lucy looked at her for a moment and then commented, “I’m sure I didn’t mean it.”

Next, my notebook has one sudden burst of “Claire?” but nothing else anywhere near it. Shrug.

(It suddenly struck me that Claire is part German and probably speaks the language. She and Lucy could have done some scenes in German. Evil Xena and Alti would have been good guttural.)

The next paragraph is about Lucy acting up on her own set. In the past she’s said it was when they were filming “Many Happy Returns”, when Lucy played a guy.

She talked about herself, running around “Babbling in Swahili”. It’s possible Renee asked her if she had a bald head. Lucy said she was dressed as a man and was harassing the crew. Who didn’t recognize her. Some of the crew or maybe a guard was trying to find out what she (he) was doing there and was questioning “him”. Lucy said she asked one of the guys, “Am I turning you on?” He responded, “Who ARE you?”

She told us happily that he thought she was a man on the set-“He didn’t know it was me”.

Someone probably said “Thank you for coming” to her. Because I have her saying, “Welcome for coming”. She was looking out at us and I’m betting that some people got little smirks on their faces because she added, “Well, you KNOW what I mean”.

She was asked if she would guest star on Rob’s show, “Legend of the Seeker”. “No-they got their cast. You know about me-I suck out the life of a show.” (When she’s a guest star.)

Lucy once again began acting up while repeating the fan questions.

In reply to one, she said, “I LOVE Bruce Campbell. He’s (kooky? I think that was what she said). I love that.”

Someone had asked Renee about shooting on film vs. digital but I think it didn’t get answered right off. They were talking about something else for a bit and then Lucy said to Renee, “Tell them why you shoot in digital.”

“It’s less expensive.”

I think it was Lucy who said that everybody is shooting in digital now, film not so much anymore. And she said something like you’d be hard-pressed to find someone (presumably in independent film-making) who would use film. Renee said she would but it was a financial decision, more than artistic. Renee talked about liking the look of film much more. Lucy nodded and agreed-she said film is more organic. Renee said it was more authentic looking.

A fan asked Lucy if it was love at first sight when she met Rob. It looked like Lucy was a bit flummoxed-that this was not a question she’d been expecting at all. The fan told her that during the Seeker panel, Rob was asked the same question. And he kind of answered yes-except that he’d first seen her on an audition tape. And so said it was “Love at first video sight”.

Lucy said, “Well, not me.” Then she said, “Really? Really? (And maybe, “He really said that?) “I didn’t know that”.

People in the audience filled in the details of him seeing her audition tape and falling in love with her. Lucy declared, “That’s not a particular compliment. I see him like people on tape all the time.” This was really funny-this seemed to rouse her some-like she couldn’t believe he’d said that. She was adamant about that. Laugh!

That was pretty much the end of it. I’m sure they thanked us again for coming. Renee was signing the big banner they always have all the stars sign and that they then auction off. When she was done, she started to leave the stage, but Lucy ran over, grabbed her arm and made her run back across the stage with her, waving goodbye to us all.

And then their time was up. And off they did go, to standing ovations, hoots, hollars and yells of pleasure, thunderous applause (though no foot stomping like in London) and lots of amused and bemused comments on their appearance provided by us, the chattering classes of cultdom.

The End.

KT

With thanks to Sally, Janna, Bancu and Twink for filling in some of the blanks or even courteously correcting massively misspoken paragraphs, evidently made up out of pure thin air or a warped sense of folly, that appeared fully formed in my first drafts of these reports. As an aside, a friend sent me a picture of me at a con, holding my pad up and with my pen poised over the page. However, my eyes are shut and it is obviously apparent that I am sound asleep at the moment. No WONDER strange things appear in these con reports. But hell, I had a good time. . .