DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices. Please do not use any portion of this story, in whole or in part, without the permission of the author.

ATTACK OF THE 50FT BARD

BY Djwp

Part II

Serrai was a ghost town. The eerie emptiness filled the warrior with dread as she rode into the village. All around her were the signs of danger: a door left open swinging in the wind, a table overturned, an abandoned cart in the middle of the road. Most of all, it was the silence -- a potent silence that sent the hairs on the back of her neck standing straight up.

She guided Argo to the village center, all senses on alert. Something definitely rotten was cooking in Serrai, and the tavern was the best place to start looking.

Xena pulled Argo to a halt, immediately seeing the dead body at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the inn. She slipped out of the saddle and tied her mare to a post. Stepping carefully over the body, Xena climbed the few creaking wooden stairs and cautiously walked inside.

The tavern was crowded with customers, all dead. Corpses were sprawled over tables, spread eagle on the floor. In some cases, the bodies were still in the chairs where they sat, face-first in plates full with unfinished food. Entering the room with quiet respect for the souls who had perished here, she studied the chilling scene displayed before her. Strange how there appeared to be a pattern to fallen bodies, she thought as she squinted through the funeral-like gloom. It was as if they had all collapsed away from the same toxic point. Her eyes followed the bodies, connecting the dots, until they rested on the apparent source of their death.

A very ugly woman lay at the dead center of all the bodies, the corpses spread out around her like a fan. It was though they had dropped dead from just looking at her.

Now that's ugly, Xena thought morbidly.

She backed out of the tavern slowly, carefully avoiding the bodies as she returned to the street.

If it was a plague that caused this, it was the strangest plague she had ever seen.

The warrior turned and took off at a run, determined to see if there were any more clues to be found.

There were plenty and they were all just as enigmatic.

She discovered a solid gold, full-sized statue of a man, standing in the middle of his home. It was artfully paired with that of a woman, hugging him in despair. The sculpture wouldn't have been odd if not for the fact that everything within the home seemed to have turned to gold as well. Xena backed out of there quickly, checking her boots for any signs that they were about to exceed their worth.

And she found more evidence, even more disturbing.

The town magistrate was dead at his desk, choked on the writings of his own words.

A dead bird, hardly unusual, except for the fact that it had the head of a man.

A man so fat, he appeared to have exploded from within. The table in his home held a mountain of rotting food and there was a part of a pig stuck in his mouth, snout and all.

And the most macabre of all -- a woman with so many infants, they had suckled the life right out of her and then died themselves.

It was a village of nightmares.

Xena backed out of the simple hut, so horrified by the sight of the woman, her stomach threatened to empty. Thank the gods the bard had not come with her. She stared around the town, confused by what she'd seen and then her gaze fell upon a strange shape at the end of an alley.

Cautiously, she approached the shadowed contour until she could make out the details of the body that lay there. No surprise, it was another corpse. Only this time, she found herself staring at a body with two heads. She knelt and turned it over carefully, wanting to examine it just a bit closer. Whatever it was that caused this abomination, it had to have recently happened, because the skin was not quite cold.

It must have been the improbability of the situation because all the warrior could think of as she stared in horror at the mutated cadaver was the phrase 'two heads are better than one'. And that silly cliché froze her dead in her tracks. She stood and backed away. Suddenly the gruesome puzzle was becoming terrifyingly clear.

I wish everything I touched turned to gold.

I wish I could fly.

I wish I could have children.

I wish I may … I wish I might …

Be careful what you wish for.

Her eyes widened at the recognition of an emerging pattern.

I wish the pain would be gone.

She thought back to Nigrita and the human head on the fireplace mantle whispering the ghastly plea -- now, there's a cure for arthritis. The sarcastic thought pushed the warrior into action.

With long strides, she ran for Argo and mounted the horse.

I wish my farmland were fertile.

Xena's lip curled into a snarl. Fertile, indeed. No fertilizer on earth worked that good.

Whatever it was causing this, it sure smelled like shit to her, and the best place to find shit …

The warrior kicked and Argo took off into a gallop.

… is on a farm.

******

Gabrielle rubbed her eyes briskly with her palms and sighed. She was tired. After questioning as many people as she could find, she was no closer to understanding what was going on than when she started.

She had sure heard some weird tales, though -- unusual even for a bard. Dogs turning into men, white-headed flies, human mantle pieces -- and there had been more. More strange stories, one more ridiculous than the next.

She looked at the row of cut limes on the plate before her and sighed again. But did they mean anything, or were they all just a bunch of tall tales with morbid punch lines as endings?

With a sprinkle of salt and a quick tip of the bottle into a glass, she was soon finishing off the first of several shots she planned to do for the evening. In no time, she was sucking on a lime and feeling a whole lot better.

Speaking of tall tales, it was getting dark and where the heckates was Xena?

She had her own story to tell, the bard thought to herself as she poured another shot. Not so strange, perhaps, but just as ridiculous and maybe even a little sad. It was the story of a warrior who preferred romantic encounters with handsome strangers instead of being with her.

"But I know what that's all about, Xena," she stated confidently before taking another shot, forgetting all about sucking on the lime.

Gabrielle was absently sprinkling more salt on the top of her hand in preparation for another drink, when a silver-haired, withered old woman approached. A wrinkled hand touched her shoulder, bringing her attention away from the liquor.

"If you don't mind my saying so, my dear, you look awfully sad. Would you like some company?" The sweet voice reminded Gabrielle of her grandmother, Henna - long dead, may she rest with Eli.

Though she would much rather be alone, the bard didn't have the heart to refuse the nice old lady's request.

"I'd love some company," she answered, forcing a smile.

Gabrielle watched the old woman lower her portly body slowly into the chair beside her.

"Now tell me, young lady," the kindly woman said as she settled into place, "what could possibly make a beautiful woman like you so melancholy?"

Gabrielle sighed and looked at the glass in her hand, suddenly feeling too guilty to take another drink in front of someone who reminded her of her own grandmother. "It's nothing, really. Nothing at all."

The woman smiled. She had no teeth - just like Henna.

"And what is this nothing's name?" the old woman asked.

Gabrielle's shoulders dropped in surrender. "Xena."

"I see," the woman nodded in understanding, "Well, this Xena is not very smart, if she leaves such a beautiful woman like you alone in a bar. Did she go off with someone else?"

Gabrielle looked up, surprised at the old woman's perceptiveness. "No, no," she answered and then looked down to play with her drink. "Not this time anyway. At least, I don't think so."

"But she has before," the woman prompted.

To Gabrielle, the old lady might as well have turned into Grandma Henna. The kind face, the gums -- the bard started talking like she had known her all of her life.

"Yes, she has, but not often. Oh, and I know what that's all about, believe me. We've been together for five … no, six … no seven … no, six … six years …, and she thinks I can't see right through her." She poured a shot and knocked it back. "You see, she thinks she's not good enough for me. Can you imagine? After six … no, seven, … no, six … six years … and she STILL thinks she no good for me."

Gabrielle sucked on a lime and stared at Grandma Henna. She was just getting warmed up.

"But she wants me all right. Oh, after all this time, I can tell that. She wants me," Gabrielle nodded confidently and kicked back another. "And she loves me, too."

The woman smiled encouragingly, so Gabrielle smiled too.

"Yeah, she does love me," Gabrielle's eyes grew a bit dreamy as she spoke this aloud, then she got back on track, "but she's got this THING about wanting something better for me."

Gabrielle nodded slowly, confirming the unbelievable. "It's true. Can you believe it? As if there could be anything in this world better for me than her."

Grabbing the bottle, she splashed a bit of liquor on her hand and knocked back a shot from the salt shaker.

"And where does all this leave me, I bet you're asking?" Gabrielle asked no one in particular as she played with the salt in her mouth. She licked off the liquor from her hand and looked at Henna.

"With an open relationship," the bard announced in exasperation.

"What does that mean, an open relationship?" Henna asked innocently.

Gabrielle put her elbow on the table and pointed at Henna. "What it means is this … it means that Xena lets me know I can be with whoever I want to be with by being with whoever she wants to be with whenever she wants to be with them."

Henna blinked.

Gabrielle threw her hands up in disgust. "Can you believe that?"

"Have you ever done it?" Henna asked, leaning forward.

The bard looked at her blankly.

"Been with somebody else?"

Gabrielle waved the question away. "Yes, of course. But that was only to make Xena jealous so I could prove to her that she didn't really want me to be with someone else, she just thought she did."

Henna grinned. "So, did she get jealous?"

The bard's shoulders slumped. "No." And she took another drink, this time remembering to suck on the lime, but forgetting the salt.

"You know, it wouldn't be so bad," Gabrielle explained as she pulled bits of lime from her teeth and flicked them away, "if I didn't get so damn jealous when Xena went off with someone. It doesn't happen very often. Most of the time, she's with me. Sure, we have our dry spells when she's feeling guilty about this or that, but let me tell you, when we're together … hooo boy, we are together, if you get my drift." She tipped back in her chair, put her hands proudly behind her head, and gave Henna a wink.

The front legs of the chair thumped back to the floor and Gabrielle's elbows hit the table as her chin plopped dejectedly into her hands.

"But when she gets it in her mind that I deserve a better life, and goes of with someone else to prove it, I swear my heart just breaks into a million tiny pieces. I wish I could be as big about it as Xena is …," the bard sighed and stared into the empty space, "but I just can't be big enough -- not about that."

Henna's smile would have chilled the heart of the bravest warrior. "What a very good idea," the old woman chuckled as she caressed the golden head of the bard who had just passed out, face first onto the table. "As you wish, my dear …. as you wish."

******

Xena stood on the side of the road, looking across the farmer's fields. All the plants were dead; dried up in the hot sun, no farmer to tend the crop. It seemed as though the harvest had one day of insane growth and then died - dead, just like everyone in Serrai. It completed the pattern for her: a wish is made, it comes true but with an evil twist and then fades away, all evidence gone that anyone had made the wish at all -- no one left alive to tell the tale.

Not the work of the gods, she thought as she stared out at the wilted crops, though something supernatural was at foot, of that much the warrior was sure.

Making certain that not even a field mouse was moving in that farm pasture, Xena stepped across the invisible boundary between farm and road once more. The only thing that happened this time was the loud crunch of a dead vine beneath her boot.

Using her sword to cut some of the thicker foliage out of the way, she made a path to the house, passing mounds of dead vegetables and stepping over the remains of a crumbled, old statue. She paused briefly to examine a pick she found discarded near the pile of stone. A dried stain of blood on the handle was what had attracted her attention and she stooped over it, considering it thoughtfully before standing and continuing on her trek through the field to the farmer's home.

She had to clear away a mass of plant skeletons from the door before she could enter. Ripping off one last clump from the latch, she forced the rusty handle up and pushed the door in. It creaked as it opened; a creepy sound considering the circumstances. Xena pushed a few dangling dead leaves away from her face and stepped through the entrance.

It was dark inside, damp and musty. The smell of soil and leaves was still thick in the air. The plants, despite the fact that they were dry and dead, were so dense around the windows that they blocked the light. Only through the now open door could sunlight force its way in and illuminate the quiet interior.

The plants had gotten inside as Xena had feared. And it was obvious from the position of the two corpses covered in vines on the floor, that Mikos and his wife had died in absolute terror.

Xena winced at the sight of the couple. The bodies were barely recognizable under the cloak of plants, arms wrapped around one another in one last leafy embrace.

This evil was far beyond anything the gods had ever done. She forced her gaze away from the bodies and started to look around the room. It all started here, she was sure of it. The warrior began to search the home, looking through the scattered belongings of the farmer and his wife, intent on finding anything that might lead her to the source of all this horror.

Wiping dead plants aside, she lifted up cups and looked under plates. She sorted through boxes, checking the contents carefully. There was nothing unusual, just normal farming tools and supplies. It wasn't until she reached a small, carved writing desk that she became hopeful. Under it, she discovered a sealed box containing a small pile of neatly tied scrolls. She fingered the ribbons around them and couldn't hold back a small grin; they reminded her of Gabrielle.

She tore open the tie and read one.

It was a diary of a young woman. Xena read the lines - some gibberish about hating it here and wanting to leave the farm. She threw the scroll down impatiently and picked up another, twisting the paper toward the fading light seeping in from the door so she could read better.

Another entry in the diary - the woman hated the fact that her brother drank. In fact, it bothered her so much, she had resolved to leave the farm and travel the world …

Xena read the next words and groaned. It was the way it was phrased that made her want to barf. She read the words again: "travel the world, fighting evil and bringing all those lost to darkness into the light."

"The light," Xena repeated through tight lips, "the goddamn light." Gods, she hated that phrase. It reminded her of someone she would rather not think about right now.

She threw that scroll down and quickly unwrapped another. It was a drawing, the simple etchings of a very young girl's attempt to paint her home, her farm, and …

. . . a statue in the field.

Xena studied the drawing more closely. It was a child's simple etching of a statue in the field with a big heart underneath it. She looked up in alarm, her eyes so intent she could almost see through the wall of the house out to the pile of stone and dust she had only moments ago stepped over out in this very same field.

She looked down at the drawing again. She squinted in the darkness, trying to figure out what the statue might have been, but the child's picture was too infantile and there wasn't enough detail. Then her eyes rested on the young artist's signature, printed in large, uneven letters, as any child might scribble their own name and her heart froze.

NAJARA

The paper almost fell out of her hand. Najara! This was Najara's home, the place where she grew up?

Xena could hardly believe it. She looked around the house, her mind reeling, trying to remember everything she could about the crazy bitch. Najara heard voices, didn't she, Xena asked herself anxiously, what was it she called them?

Scrolls and parchment flew as Xena tore through the box looking for more. She read each as quickly as she could then tossed them aside, to rip open another. Scroll after scroll, she read the ramblings of a young girl, growing up on a farm. A young Najara had written in the scrolls all of her hopes and problems from childhood until the time she left the farm. It would have read like the diary of any young girl, except for one tiny thing: a morbid fascination with a certain idol that sat in the field, just west of the house. Finally she found a piece of the diary that completed the puzzle.

'The statue spoke to me today', Najara wrote, the written words were more mature though it was obvious that she was still young. 'He told me he was a djinn and that he was my friend. I'm so happy I have a friend. My brother is no fun at all.'

The djinn, Xena thought, snarling. That was it. Najara heard voices and said it was the djinn talking to her.

The djinn, the warrior repeated to herself and put the scroll down. She could just imagine it, a young Najara wishing that she could grow up to be a warrior fighting for the light.

The goddamn light, she thought, wishing she had never heard the phrase.

"Careful what you wish for."

Xena lurched in surprise at the sound of the deep voice behind her. She twirled and drew her sword, all in one motion.

"I'll let this one slide." He smiled, his teeth bright against the darkness of his skin. "After all, you didn't speak it aloud, and I happen to know that you are capable of something so much more creative."

The warrior raised her weapon threateningly. "Don't you move."

"Now, now, now," he wagged his finger at her, "don't point your sword at me. You'll force me to draw my own, and my sword is much, much bigger than yours." His smile widened and he stepped forward. "But then, I've forgotten. You are already intimately familiar with the size of my sword."

Xena's eyes narrowed at his laughter and she adjusted her stance. "Who are you?"

"Why, I'm the djinn, but then I thought you had figured that out."

"Who are you?" Xena asked more forcefully as she stepped away from the desk, carefully keeping him a sword's length away.

"My name is Jan bin Jan, but you may call me Sayyid," he replied, chuckling.

Xena raised an eyebrow. "Sayyid? Not likely." She circled to a more strategic position. "I call no man 'master'," she responded in the same language.

He threw back his head and laughed out loud. "Oh, HOO! Intelligent, as well as beautiful. You surprise me, Xena. And here I thought you all brawn and no brains."

"I've got plenty of both."

"So I see," his eyes followed the length of her body with appreciation, "I enjoyed our encounter last night immensely."

Her upper lip curled, just a little. "It was only a dream."

"Yes, but dreams are the food of the gods." He moved, eyes intent on her own, circling her dangerously.

"That's what you do, isn't it? Live off of dreams."

He halted, ensuring that his body blocked the door. "Man does not live on dreams alone."

"All right, wishes then. You live off of wishes." She was growing tired of his play on words.

His eyes darkened. "What I thrive on is chaos. I use men's wishes to create that chaos. A desire spoken aloud may be the dish, but chaos is the meal." The djinn smiled evilly.

"You were trapped in that statue out there." She motioned with her head to the field, not taking her eyes - or her sword - off of him.

"Yes," he admitted, confident that the knowledge would do the warrior no good, "since before your gods ruled this earth."

"It was you who spoke to Najara."

"She was my golden beauty. Her wishes were so sweet. I meant to keep her around for a long time. Light corrupts to darkness in the most delicious way, as you well know." His eyes flashed in amusement.

Xena ignored the remark and stepped back. He was too close and she couldn't let herself be baited. "So why didn't your golden beauty get you out of that statue?"

He shrugged. "It was too early yet. I needed the way prepared. There has to first be a void, before it can be filled with chaos."

"A void?" She thought furiously. His words were puzzles, just like his wishes and her mind raced to decipher the meaning.

"Our gods!" she announced with a flash of insight.

"Yes," he said in dark appreciation, "I've been meaning to thank you for that." The djinn regarded her thoughtfully. "You have a quick wit, Xena. Perhaps my choice was too hasty."

"What choice?" she asked suspiciously.

"Between you or your companion. I had plans for Najara and now someone has to replace her. Since you both were responsible for taking her from me, I think it only fitting that it be one of you."

"What do you mean?" Her sword lowered, just a little, as she became concerned.

"Gabrielle." He said the name with relish. "She reminds me of my golden Najara. Beautiful, yes? I know you agree," a wicked smile graced his features.

Xena had to hold herself back from grabbing him, "What about Gabrielle?"

"Najara loved her and I can see why. Of course, I can't blame you for your jealous rage. I would have done the same thing had someone tried to take one such as she away from me. She'll make an excellent replacement."

"Over my dead body," she vowed and swung at him with her sword, a deadly arc that would have taken off the head of any man, but his sword was suddenly there to meet hers. Their blades flashed in the last of the sunlight as it filtered through the door, the ring of metal slicing through the silence.

"A simple wish, easily arranged. Careful what you speak, warrior." Steel edges scraped apart as they parried. Xena growled and struck again, this time going for the abdomen. He met the blow and deflected it away.

"Jealous again, Xena?" His laughter made the dead vines shiver. "I thought you had an open relationship?"

His sarcasm earned him Xena's fist swinging at his face. The djinn dodged it easily. He jumped away a few steps and arrogantly flipped his blade. Before he could finish the move, Xena's chakram was leaving her left hand, but the djinn managed to avoid that as well, titling to one side, just in time. The circular weapon whizzed past his face at a blinding speed and embedded itself in the far wall.

"You cannot best me, Xena. That is, unless you wish to."

She snarled, frustrated at her inability to hit her mark and did a quick flip over his head. Surprising as the move was, she still ended up kicking air as the djinn once again somehow managed to get away.

The warrior halted, breathing heavily. "I swear if you do anything to hurt Gabrielle, I'll send you to the same place I sent the gods."

He straightened, relaxed, tapping the flat of his blade in the palm of his open hand. "I thought you wanted a better life for the bard? Isn't that what you truly wish? And, I intend to grant you that one. After all, what better life could she have than with me?"

Anger flashing in her blue eyes, she flipped her sword once and gave an inhumanely powerful swing. It whooshed over Jan bin Jan's head as he ducked, slicing close enough to split hair.

The djinn stood and grew stern. "I grow tired of this."

The blow was so fast, Xena didn't even see it. So hard, it sent her crashing into a far wall.

The warrior slumped to the floor onto a pile of dead leaves, her eyes closing into an unconscious state where not even her dreams could follow.

******

Xena woke to the crunching of dried leaves and the taste of soil in her mouth. Spitting dirt, she lifted her head and looked around. She lay in a pile of dead vines and brown husk. The house was empty, a few scattered scrolls the only evidence that any encounter with the djinn had occurred at all. She pushed herself up from the floor, recovered her sword, then raised herself with shaky legs to her feet and returned the weapon to its sheath.

"My timing was off, but I'll get his djinny ass next time," the warrior vowed as she stumbled across the room. With a tug, she pulled the chakram from the wall, "He'll wish he'd never met me."

She placed the chakram on its hook at her hip and leaned against the wood. After waiting a moment or two for her head to clear, Xena pushed herself away from the support and staggered outside.

Her eyes grew round with alarm.

The sun was peeking over the eastern horizon. It was dawn. She had been out cold for the entire night.

"Gabrielle," she said aloud, remembering the djinn's threat and took off at a run through the now barren field.

******

Déjà vu tied Xena's gut in a cold knot as she galloped down the road into town. Just like Serrai, an eerie quiet had descended over the village like a shroud. And just like Serrai, the streets were unnaturally empty, deserted of the morning bustle always present in every city no matter the size. Xena feared the very same plague had descended upon Nigrita. The djinn had sucked the simple, needful wishes of these villagers just as he had done to the townsfolk of Serrai and, in one night, he had turned this small village into a macabre city of the dead. But, her concern for the good people of Nigrita was nothing compared to the terror building in the pit of her stomach for the one person she held most dear in this world and the next.

"Please, Gabrielle," Xena prayed, hoping the bard had not talked herself into trouble.

She flew past huts, Argo kicking up dirt, and had to duck under a clothesline as they raced around a blind corner. As the town square came into view, the warrior was forced pull hard on the reins to bring the horse to an abrupt halt.

The streets were empty because all the townsfolk had gathered at its center. She stared, puzzled at this unexpected development before slipping down from the mare. Xena tied Argo to the post of the nearest porch, then pushed her way through to see what had everyone straining their necks in fascination.

The warrior shoved one last villager aside and froze.

She found herself looking up, up, up at the bottom of an enormous foot. Xena's own neck strained toward the clouds as her eyes traveled upward from heel to big toe.

The big foot was attached to a gigantic leg and the gigantic leg was sticking out of the door of the tavern, the exit bursting at the seams to accommodate a tremendous thigh. The other leg had forced its way through a window and taken much of the wall with it. It lay parallel to its partner, blocking the road.

"I know that scar," the warrior announced, pointing to the mark were once was an extra toe. She ran around the heel to see if the gigantic foot belonged to the certain someone she feared.

Xena stood, hands on hips, between the two gigantic feet and stared down the middle of legs as large as tree trunks. Behind her, the villagers whispered in fear.

"It's a titan."

"A giant."

"A Cyclops."

Xena held up her hand to silence them, ran past the giant feet and down between the mountainous white thighs to where they disappeared into the gapping holes torn in the tavern wall. Pushing a few broken boards out of the way, she peeked inside.

Just as she thought; she could recognize her friend anywhere.

"That's no cylops, it's just my bud," she called back to the villagers to calm them down.

"A very big bud," she mumbled and then cupped her hands to shout in through the hole. "Gabrielle!"

One leg moved slightly and the building threatened to fall.

"Xena?" a weak voice boomed in answer, "Is that you?"

The legs lifted and this time a part of the tavern did fall. Xena had to jump out of the way to avoid being crushed by some timbers.

"Gabrielle! Take it easy! Don't move, you'll …"

The bard didn't heed the warning.

Xena ran backward, shielding her head from falling debris as Gabrielle sat up, taking the ceiling, the roof, and the chimney and all with her.

"Xena?" the bard blinked and wiped broken pieces of wood beams from her eyes. "Xena, where are you?"

Gabrielle turned her head left. A piece of the roof crashed to the ground. Villagers screamed and ran out of the way, the tiles just missing them by inches.

The bard turned her head right. The chimney tipped then fell, scattering bricks and mortar to the street below.

Xena grabbed a child and ran out of the way, just in time to avoid the downpour.

"Gabrielle, for Eli's sake, STOP MOVING AROUND!"

"Huh?" The large bard heard the voice, but couldn't make out the direction. She looked down to the ground, searching for her partner, and the rest of the roof tumbled from her head.

Huge eyebrows knit together as she watched the top of the building crumble and fall.

"What is this?" She reached down a hand and picked up the tiny pieces of roof and building. "Xena? Where are you?"

"I'm down here, Gabrielle. We're all down here."

The bard looked down and gasped. "Xena, did you shrink again?"

"No, not me, this time, Gabrielle. It's you. You've gotten bigger. A hell of a lot bigger."

"What are you talking about?" Gabrielle looked down at herself, noticing first, that she was completely naked, and second, she was sitting inside the remains of the tavern and the tavern barely fit around her totally naked butt. "Xena!" she cried in alarm and scrambled to get up, "what's happened to me?" Her panicked movement threatened to tear the rest of the building to shreds.

"Gabrielle, stay still. Stay still!" Xena yelled, running up to her partner, her arms up, trying to calm her down.

The bard quieted at the sound of her voice. She looked down at the warrior. "Xena, what's happened to me?"

Big eyes began to fill with even bigger tears. "I'm as big as a house." She looked down at the size of her breasts. "Bigger." A tear escaped, slid down a cheek, hit the broken wall, and splashed to the ground, completely soaking the warrior who was standing below.

Several more followed, drenching Xena in buckets of tears.

"Gabrielle! Gabrielle! Stop crying!" A huge drop knocked her off her feet and she plopped ass-first into the mud. "GABRIELLE!"

The bard sniffled and stopped.

"You're drowning me," Xena stated and lifted herself up, slipping once, then finally getting to her feet. "Just get a hold of yourself." She looked up, up, up at her partner, flicking mud from her hands and couldn't resist smiling. "We've been in bigger messes than this."

Gabrielle looked down at herself and threatened to cry again.

Xena quickly held up her mud-caked hands. "Okay, okay, bad choice of words. Just … don't … start crying again, okay. You're crying me a river."

"Okay." Gabrielle nodded once and sniffled.

"Now, get yourself up and out of that building …"

Gabrielle shifted and a wall shook, threatening to fall.

"Easy, Gabrielle. Nice and easy. That's it," Xena said, encouraging her friend with soothing tones.

The bard carefully pulled one leg in through the door and the other through the hole in the wall, until her knees reached her chin. Balancing carefully, she stood in the middle of what was left of the tavern, standing easily considering the inn no longer had a roof.

She stood slowly, in all her naked glory, smiling proudly once she reached full height.

The warrior's jaw dropped at the sight, and so did a few of the villagers.

In perfectly timed succession, each of the four walls of the building trembled, and then tumbled to the ground. When the dust settled, there was nothing but one gigantic bard left standing.

Gabrielle brushed some dust from her belly button, sending a shower of pebbles and rocks onto the crowd below. They all had to duck and cover under the shelter of their arms in order to protect themselves from the dirty downpour.

"Oops, sorry." She looked down at her friend and smiled apologetically.

Xena waited for the last of the dust to settle before dropping her arms and looking up at her partner.

"We're in big trouble," she mumbled.

******

It took a bit of fast-talking to keep the villagers from burning Gabrielle alive. Eventually, Xena was able to convince the townsfolk that they would all live a lot longer if they would just let her take the giant bard someplace far, far away.

The warrior kept it nice and simple: let them leave and they live, burn the bard and they die. It wasn't one of Xena's most politically correct speeches, but she had gotten her point across.

Since Gabrielle was too distracted by her new point of view to notice the slight slip back into warlord mode, Xena was able to get them both out of the village completely intact, and in possession of the most unusual tribute she had ever demanded. She looked behind her as she galloped on Argo. The bard was following at a leisurely gait with big giant steps, her body wrapped in a small, but adequate toga made from every sheet the villagers could muster as a donation.

She pulled Argo to a stop as they came along a clearing in the woods. Both she and the mare were breathing heavily and sweating profusely. Xena looked up at Gabrielle as she approached, the trees shaking with each giant step.

"We need to rest," the warrior stated.

"I'm not tired."

Xena huffed and jumped from Argo. "I know YOU'RE not tired, but Argo and I are beat." She looked at the pasture and motioned to it, "Why don't you go take a load off your legs."

Gabrielle looked down at her legs and shrugged. "I feel fine."

"Gabrielle."

The bard sighed. "Oh, all right."

Xena watched as the bard stepped over and beyond her, the huge shadow blocking the sun momentarily in her wake. Gabrielle settled herself down onto the carpet of grass and crossed her legs.

The warrior fed her mount some water and then took a sip herself. She lifted the pouch to offer her partner a drink, but realized that it wouldn't be much more than a drop to her. Xena's brow furrowed with worry, wondering how she was going to get them out of this one.

"Xena, are you all right?" Gabrielle stopped adjusting the make-shift top and looked down from lofty heights.

"You're asking me if I'm all right?" Xena mumbled to herself. She put the water away. "Gabrielle, would you mind telling me what happened last night?"

"I don't know … nothing."

"That's a big nothing, Gabrielle," Xena remarked and she walked into the clearing to sit beside her friend.

"Funny, Xena."

"Come on, think. Something had to have happened."

"All right," the bard leaned back on her hands and thought. "I questioned everyone I could find, just like you wanted. And I heard a lot of tall tales. The first one was a real doozy, let me tell you …"

Xena waved impatiently. "Forget the stories."

"Forget the stories? I thought that's what you wanted me to find out about?"

"I did but now I know all about them. G'wan, get to the part where you talked to the dark, handsome stranger."

Gabrielle squinted big, suspicious eyes. "I did not talk to any dark, handsome stranger."

"Come on, Gabrielle. I know who you talked to. I saw him myself last night."

Big eyebrows lifted. "Oh really? Did you now?" Suddenly, the bard felt a jealously that matched her size, "So, that's where you were all night, I suppose."

Gabrielle stood angrily and stamped her foot. The ground jolted, a few nearby branches fell. Argo whinnied.

"What makes you think I wanted to sleep with him, too?"

Xena looked at her incredulously. "Sleep with him? What are you talking about?!"

"I'm talking about you having the hots for Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome. And now you're mad at me because you think I went after him!"

Big tears threatened to fall. Xena scrambled to her feet to get out of the way, just in case.

"Easy, Gabrielle, easy. We're not talking about the same thing here." Xena briefly wondered why Gabrielle was so jealous, and she seemed to be growing bigger the more jealous she got, but the warrior pushed the thought to the side. She had a bigger problem to deal with at the moment. "The guy I'm talking about, the dark handsome one, he's a djinn. Do you remember the djinn, Gabrielle?"

Only one tear fell, and Xena avoided it easily.

"Djinn," Gabrielle repeated, thinking carefully. "I've heard that name before."

"You're getting warm."

"Do you mean djinn as in Najara?"

"You're very hot now."

"You mean as in the voices that talked to Najara? That kind of djinn?"

The warrior nodded. "You're a burning bush, Gabrielle ... make that a tree."

"And you're not even a little funny, Xena," Gabrielle crinkled her nose at partner and sat back down. They both ignored the tremendous thud as the bard's butt hit the earth. "What does Najara's djinn have to do with this?"

"It's a long story, Gabrielle, but that djinn is more than just a voice now, he's a man and he's going from town to town, feeding off of people's wishes along the way."

"Feeding off of wishes?" Gabrielle asked, leaning forward with interest.

"He gets energy from the fear and confusion, is my guess. He tricks you into making a wish, then grants it with some bizarre twist and gets his kicks from the pain and terror that results. A real sick bastard."

"Like, I wish my fields were fertile," Gabrielle said, thinking back to the farm and the vines that reached out to crush them.

"Exactly," Xena nodded, then looked up thoughtfully at her friend. "Gabrielle, what was it precisely that you wished for?"

Gabrielle looked at the warrior like a deer caught in a crossbow. "I didn't talk to that dark man last night, Xena."

"Yeah, but you talked to someone, didn't ya?"

Gabrielle averted her eyes. "Grandma Henna."

"Who?"

"Well, she looked just like my Grandma Henna. And I was worried about you. It was getting dark and you hadn't come back. I talked to everyone in town, and couldn't figure out a thing. There was nothing left to do but sit in the tavern and wait for you, so I had a couple of drinks, and then Grandma Henna …"

"A couple of drinks?"

"Well, maybe three."

Xena stared.

"Well, maybe more than three." Speaking of drinking made her think of the liquor, and thinking of the liquor made her taste it again in the back of her mouth, and just the thought of that reminded the bard of her super-duper, giant-sized hangover that she was sporting. Not to mention the fact that heights made her dizzy. The world suddenly tilted.

"Xena, I think I'm gonna be sick."

The warrior shot up from her spot in the grass like a demon out of hell and ran to the side. "Gabrielle, don't you dare get sick on me."

The giant bard heaved and Xena didn't stop running until she was safely on high ground. The warrior leaned against a tree and watched the bile run by; Argo suddenly appeared right next to her.

Gabrielle breathed deeply and calmed her stomach down. "It's okay. I'm good now."

"I'm glad you're good," Xena said, waving her hand at the smell. Argo snickered reproachfully.

"Ya got that right," Xena stated, echoing the mare's sentiments.

Gabrielle laid back in the grass, and threw an arm over her eyes to shield them from the sun.

"I didn't talk to any dark, handsome men, Xena, I swear."

"All right, all right, I believe you," Xena said, pacing. "So, he turned himself into your Grandma Henna and got you to talk, right?"

"Yes," the bard admitted with a sigh.

"So, what? Did you wish you could be bigger than life, or something like that?"

Gabrielle's arm fell away from her eyes. "Xena, do you really think so little of me?"

Xena glanced around the field nervously, suddenly afraid that any cliche would turn against them. When nothing happened, the warrior relaxed.

"Of course not. But you had to make some wish in order for this to happen." When Gabrielle didn't answer, Xena stood. "Look, whatever it was, we've got to find a way to reverse it. And that means we have to track that bastard and find him fast."

"Do you think we'll be able to reverse this, Xena?" Gabrielle asked, sitting up, eyes filling with tears again.

"Don't cry again, Gabrielle, you'll flood the landscape." Her eyes grew tender and she stepped forward to caress the broadside of her precious friend's thigh. The little downy hairs that she loved to play with might have been a lot bigger now, but the skin was soft and warm, the muscles even more defined and so much larger.

"Gabrielle," she rubbed her cheek against the warm skin and bestowed a tiny, tiny kiss. "I'll get you back to pint sized, I promise. If not, well, you'll always be my biggest friend."

The bard had to resist the urge for a playful slap realizing that it would squash the warrior like a bug. She chose another type of payback.

"Xena?" Gabrielle grinned as she watched the warrior nuzzle against her leg. "Ya know, I'm feeling a little hungry."

"Hungry?" Xena asked dreamily, getting into the feel of Gabrielle's skin against her cheek.

"Yeah, hungry. Like I could eat a horse. Make that several."

The warrior's head snapped up. Where was the bay anyway? "Hungry?"

******

Twenty-five rabbits. It had to be some kind of record. Xena threw the last five at the bard's feet and collapsed to the ground, exhausted.

Gabrielle ate them as fast as Xena could hunt them, and promptly dubbed the meal "fast food."

With one easy pull, the bard skinned the first of the latest batch and prepared it for the fire, humming a happy tune all the while.

"Two rabbits, skinned and spitted, special sauce, lettuce, feta, pickles, olives, on a sesame seed pita."

She prepared to bite and then, suddenly feeling guilty at getting all the pleasure while Xena did all the work, offered it to her partner with a large hand instead.

Xena shook her head, all appetite for food gone. In fact, she'd probably never eat hare again. "I haven't hunted that many rabbits in years."

"You mean you did this once before?" Gabrielle asked and popped the rabbit into her mouth, whole. She chewed it bones and all.

"Once. Stores were low and my army needed to be fed."

"How many rabbits?"

"Twenty … I got twenty. I sent out 50 men, including myself . I got the most, at twenty."

"Wow, today's a personal best, then." Gabrielle smiled and ate another. "Doesn't sound like enough to feed an army."

"It wasn't," Xena replied and sighed. She suspected it wouldn't be nearly enough to feed the bard either.

"Xena," Gabrielle said as she sucked the last of the bunny juice from her fingers, "I'm still a little hungry."

The warrior groaned; why did she always have to be right?

Xena opened her eyes and tried to lift her head from the soft pillow of grass where she had been resting, but was unable to move. Her muscles tensed, believing she had been subdued while asleep. The warrior tried to lift an arm, but couldn't; tried to see, but a sheet had been thrown over her head. Slowly, she forced her head to turn from one side to the other behind a heavy weight and then recognized her dilema.

She had been pinned to the ground by Gabrielle's right breast. The warrior squirmed past the enlarged nipple and squeezed herself free.

With hands on her hips, she stared at her sleeping partner. That was close, she thought. If Gabrielle had rolled over just a bit more, she would have been crushed.

But what a way to go.

Xena studied the sky and estimated the time. Not like her to fall asleep in the afternoon, but she must have been more tired from the record-breaking bunny hunt than she realized. A wind had kicked up while they were resting. She searched the sky for thunderclouds. Juding from the rumble of thunder and the strength of the blast that had just blown her hair but, she expected a storm to be rolling in, but there was not a cloud in the sky. Another blast followed by a rumble made the warrior smile.

Gabrielle was stretched out in the pasture, filling the clearing from one end to another. She was sleeping on her side, her head pillowed by an arm, her soft lips opened slightly, the gentle snores that Xena secretly adored making the leaves tremble.

"Gabrielle," Xena said softly.

A gigantic, but nonetheless cute nose twitched.

"Gabrielle."

"Hmmm, Xena," still asleep, the name sounded like a prayer.

"Come on, wakey, wakey." Xena couldn't resist. She stretched up on booted toes and planted a kiss on the corner of slightly upturned lips.

The bard snorted, splattering the warrior with a healthy dollop of sleepy drool.

"GABRIELLE!"

Big green eyes shot open. "What? What's wrong?" Gabrielle lifted her and and looked around. "What time is it?"

Xena wiped bard drool from her face and flicked it to the ground. "Time to get you back to your normal size."

The warrior turned and stomped away, crossing the field to Argo. The horse had prudently remained on high ground and was grazing by a tree.

Gabrielle watched her partner trudge across the pasture, realizing she could have picked her up in her hand and gotten her there a lot faster. "Xena, I'm coming with you."

"You're staying here."

"I could be a big help, you know."

"You could get us in big trouble, too."

Gabrielle sat up, annoyed. "You know, I'm getting a little tired of you thinking I'm the one who always gets us into trouble."

Xena mounted her horse, and stared up at the giant bard, her point already made.

Gabrielle sighed, an action that sent the closest tree bending over. "Look, I could pick Argo and you up and get us back to Nigrita a lot faster than you could get there riding.

"Pppppfffffffggggttthhh!" Argo shook her head violently, absolutely refusing to be picked up by any giant bard.

Xena patted the mare's next to calm her down. "Gabrielle, you are going to wait here for me. The people in Nigrita were freaked out enough already, the sight of you lumbering into Amphipolis could make the entire city panic.

"I do not lumber."

"Well, you're as big as a tree so I think lumber is a very appropriate word."

The bard huffed at the analogy. "And why are you going to Amphipolis? Don't you think he's still in Nigrita?"

"I'm betting he's had his fill in Nigrita," Clicking the mare into motion, Xena pulled the reins and turned toward the road. "Amphipolis is next. It's close and it's bigger and there's a lot more people. He's on his way there, you can count on it -- if he's not there already. It's much better and safer if I go into Amphipolis alone, for both you and the city. I'll deal with the djinn when I find him, believe me. By the time I get back, you'll be the perfect size again."

"And what size is the perfect size, if I may ask?"

"Short and sassy, just the way I like you." Xena smiled warmly, a sight that never failed to brighten the bard's day.

"All right," Gabrielle conceded, "but you better come right back or you'll see more than sassy, I promise you that."

"Don't worry," Xena replied, "You just wait here and don't you dare take one giant step down that road. You got that? This won't take long. I have a plan."

Gabrielle watched as the warrior rode off. "She has a plan," the bard repeated. "Of course, she has a plan. She always has a plan. It would be nice if, for once, I knew the plan."

Her thoughts then turned to the handsome man, picturing him as she had seen him at the tavern, staring at her warrior like she was a succulent piece of meat ready to be devoured. She imagined she could still smell the scent of Xena's lust for the djinn and a gigantic frown appeared. After all, Xena had quite an appetite for tall, dark, and dangerous, didn't she? Green eyes darkened, as Gabrielle's mind grew irrationally and uncontrollably jealous.

******

Xena thundered down the road to Nigrita, veering off at the junction into town to ride south to bypass the little village completely.

The warrior knew without a doubt that the djinn was done with there. Her main concern now was for Amphipolis, the city just south of Serrai and the next most likely place for the djinn to strike. If she rode hard, she should be in Amphipolis by nightfall. What exactly she was going to do with the djinn when she caught up with him, she hadn't a clue.

According to the warrior's calculations, factoring in the distance to Amphipolis, but more importantly, the probability of her partner remaining patient and doing what she had been told, Xena figured she didn't have that long before Gabrielle got tired of waiting and came looking for her.

She probably had until sundown to find the djinn, save Amphipolis, and get back to her bard -- and maybe, not even that long.

Xena flew past the farm, barely acknowledging the complete absence of any of the plant overgrowth that had filled the fields from one end to the other just a day ago. The farm was now as barren as it had always been, like nothing had ever happened. The house appeared welcoming as if a family still lived there. Xena snarled as she galloped past the modest home, briefly imagining that a young Najara might walk out of the door and give her a sarcastic wave.

As she rode beyond the farm, she let a bit of her anger for Najara go. After all, the fanatic nut case wasn't completely to blame. Najara's childhood dream had been corrupted by an evil influence, so Xena could pardon her twisted sense of justice. Forgiving how the bitch had tried to steal Gabrielle was another thing entirely.

Xena leaned into Argo's gait and urged the mare faster. Thinking about Najara always made the warrior feel like swinging her blade into somebody's neck. Better she channel that energy into something more constructive -- like beating the stuffing out of Mr. djinn.

The key to the djinn was his power over wishes, Xena was sure of it. Like most of her enemies, Jan bin Jan's greatest strength was also his greatest weakness. All she needed to do was to find a way to use it against him.

Xena careened around a bend and ducked to avoid a tree branch, remembering their return to her hometown more than 25 years after their apparent deaths. It had taken a lot of fast talking, mostly on the bard's part, to convince Toris that they were human. Her brother accused them of being nymphs, masquerading as humans. Not an unreasonable assumption considering that they had both arrived on his doorstep, not only alive, but without having aged a single day in all those years.

Now there was a good possibility that she would be returning to her home for a visit, and bringing a 50-foot bard with her to dinner.

The warrior thundered toward Amphipolis, using the time to try to think of the best way to: first, explain everything to Toris and his family; second, find the djinn before he did something to them, too; and last -- but not least -- figure out a way to get her bard back to bedroll size.

******

"You have excellent taste," the handsome stranger said to the tavern owner. His hand motioned to the tapestry adorning the wall, but his eyes were traveling in appreciation over the ample derriere of the owner's wife. She had been serving the table closest to them, and was leaning over to pick up an empty dish. "Yes, very nice decor."

"Thank you," the owner replied politely and placed the stranger's drink before him. "I appreciate you mentioning it. Not many people notice."

"Hard work keeping a tavern in good repair," the stranger commented and lifted the mug to take a drink.

"Yes, a lot harder than I ever imagined," the owner nodded, "Thanks, again. Enjoy your drink." He moved to walk away.

"Please stay," the dark visitor said, pulling out the chair beside him.

The owner paused. "I'm sorry, I can't. I have work to do."

"Surely you have time to spend a few moments with a customer ... a paying customer." The djinn threw a solid gold coin on the table, then took a sip of ale to hide a wicked smile behind his mug. Too many customers on credit, he thought as he watched the tavern owner practically drool at the sight of the shiny coin. He threw another gold piece down for good measure. "The name is Jan bin Jan."

"Toris," the owner replied, snatching up the gold in his hand and sliding into the nearest empty chair, all in one motion. "Don't mind if I do."

******

"She loves me ..."

Snap!

"She loves me not."

Crack.

"She loves me ..."

Snap!

"She loves me not."

Blond eyebrows knotted as the bard struggled to tear the next limb off of the nearby tree. It broke away with a crackle.

Pop!

Gabrielle smiled. "She loves me ..."

Large searching eyes found one more branch.

Snap!

"She loves me not!"

Blond eyebrows knotted again, and then a giant hand cracked the entire tree in two. She threw the trunk over her head in anger, scattering a few deer and the one remaining, living rabbit into the underbrush as it crashed to the forest floor with a pop.

"She loves me not."

******

Hooves splashed through the meandering stream marking the border to the golden pastures that surrounded the Greek city of Amphipolis. Xena rode the mare, flowing over grassy knolls as smoothly as the wind, bending tall reeds over in her wake.

Though she could ride through the fields into her home with her eyes closed, she rode wide eyed and unblinking, her sight trained on her target just over the next rise and around the bend -- a chimney barely in view -- the one that belonged to Amphipolis's best, and only, tavern.

******

"This is too much!" Gabrielle said to herself as she paced the width of the field.

One step and turn; one step and turn.

She paused and looked at the sun. Almost setting. Did Xena think she was going to spend the entire night in this field ... alone?

"What does she take me for? A fool?"

One step and turn; one step and turn.

"I saw the way she was looking at him!"

One step and turn; one step and turn.

"I saw the way he was looking at her!"

One step and turn.

"djinn, my ass!"

She paused and peeked over the trees at the stretch of road, hope turning an angry scowl into a smile at the sound of a horse approaching.

It was a horse and cart driven by a fat, happy villager - no warrior, not even close. The smile fell away and the frown returned. The bard stared over the treetops at the driver, unreasonably angry at him as though it was his fault for not being tall and gorgeous and dressed in leather. She swatted at the tops of the trees in disgust, sending a rain of leaves and branches to the ground, and turned away.

The driver ducked to avoid the sudden leafy downpour, took one look up at the golden-headed goliath glaring angrily at him from over the treetops, turned the cart around, and galloped as fast as he could back the way he came.

"You better run, Xena!"

The angry bard's voice boomed across the hills,

"Cause when I find you, you're gonna be in BIG trouble!"

The giant bard pushed the trees aside and stepped into the road.

"BIG, BIG, BIG TROUBLE! And I mean it!"

With long, determined strides, Gabrielle left pond-sized footprints in her wake as the she made quick work of the road that led to the unsuspecting city of Amphipolis.

********

"So, this tavern has been here for a long time, has it not?" Jan bin Jan asked and took another sip of ale.

Toris leaned back comfortably in his chair, happy to be off of his aching feet for a moment. "Yes, my mother opened this place over forty years ago. I inherited it from her, after she passed away."

"My condolences," the djinn acknowledged Toris's nod, "It takes a lot of work to run a busy tavern such as this."

"It sure does. I don't know how my mother did it all those years."

"Surely she had a husband to help her?"

"No," Toris replied, shuffling the apron in his lap, "my father died years ago. She ran this place all by herself, for all those years. I only took it over in the end."

"She must have been an amazing woman," Jan bin Jan commented, studying his companion carefully as he drank.

"She was, thank you."

"And a handsome woman, too, judging by the looks of her son." He raised his glass to toast the beautiful woman who was serving the table beside them," and her beautiful daughter."

"That's not my sister," Toris answered, smiling, "that's my wife."

"My apologies, I meant no disrespect."

"None taken," Toris leaned forward in his chair, "My wife is beautiful, it's true. But if you think she's beautiful, you should see my sister."

The djinn leaned foward, dark eyes sparkling, "Truly?" He threw three gold coins onto the table. "If she is more beautiful than your wife, and if she can cook, then I might be interested in purchasing her."

Toris snorted so hard, he almost choked. "You want to what? Purchase my sister?"

His laughter was so loud, it caused his wife to turn around and stare at him in annoyance.

"Why do you laugh?" Jan bin Jan asked perturbed. "You jest with me then when you say she is beautiful."

"No, she's a beauty all right," Toris stated, looking down at the coins, "but that's not enough."

"Very well," the dark stranger threw down three more gold pieces, "Six then, but that's my final offer."

Toris threw back his head and howled again.

This time his laughter brought his wife over to the table. Her arms balancing a full tray, she nudged him with her hip. "Why are you laughing so hard, and not working?"

"I am working, Nicholaa, " Toris answered, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I'm negotiating with a customer here."

"Negotiating?"

"He wants to buy ... my sister." Toris snorted and then couldn't stopped from laughing out loud again.

Nicholaa huffed and walked away. "He can have her."

Jan bin Jan stared at the wife's back as she departed. He turned back to Toris. "Your sister has some defect then, that you have not told me?"

"Defect?" This brought on a whole new set of chuckles. "No, my sister is beautiful ... beautiful, intelligent, remarkable, incredible -- all that is true. But she is also dangerous. Very, very dangerous."

"Dangerous? How can a woman be dangerous?"

Toris wiped his nose and got his mirth under control. "You have no idea who my sister is, do you?"

The mysterious stranger shook his head.

"You do know you are in Amphipolis, right?"

Jan bin Jan nodded.

Toris leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through the gray hairs at his temple. "Let me put it this way, no man could ever own my sister. All the gold in Greece couldn't buy her. And even if you could buy her, you'd probably end up asking for a refund ... if she didn't kill you first, that is."

Jan bin Jan raised a black eyebrow in surprise. "Kill me? Is your sister a murderer, then?"

Toris looked seriously into his customer's deep, dark eyes. "Yes, I have to admit, my sister is indeed a murderer, among other things."

"If that is the case, I do not wish to purchase her." The stranger sat back in his chair. "Then it is a good thing your mother had a stalwart and trustworthy son to inherit her tavern."

"I'm hardly trustworthy," Toris placed his hands on the arms of the chair. Feeling a sudden desire to return to work, he moved to rise.

The djinn reached across the table to stop him, wrapping long, dark fingers around an aging arm. "Why would a man say such a thing about himself?"

Toris found himself unable to move, the long fingers around his forearm kept him in his chair, the touch of the mysterious stranger somehow coaxing his desire to speak the truth. "Because I left my mother, my family, this entire town when they all needed me the most. I only came back at the end and only then, because I had to ... because there was nobody else that could. But I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this!"

The djinn looked at Toris, his black eyes bored into Toris's clear blue. "You have all a man could hope for -- a successful tavern in a busy city, a beautiful wife. If not this, then for what would you wish?"

The aging tavern owner found himself staring into the pit of darkness, his heart squeezed to the point where he had to reveal the one truth that he had kept hidden since he was a little boy and for his entire life.

"My sister," he said hoarsely, "All I ever wanted ... All I ever wished for ... was to be just like ..."

******

Without breaking the horse's gait, Xena galloped up to the tavern, pulled back hard on the reins and brought Argo to a screeching halt. The sudden stop launched the warrior into the air. Flipping once, Xena landed on her feet right at entrance and ran through the doorway without breaking her stride.

All noise stopped and all eyes lifted at her sudden arrival. Toris was sitting at a table, deep in conversation with a dark, handsome stranger. His eyes grew wide at the sudden arrival of his sibling.

"Sis!" A smile broke across his face and he rose, "Speak of the devil, what are you doing here?"

The djinn scowled, annoyed at the untimely interruption. The aging tavern owner was just about to voice a most interesting wish -- and now the sister who was at the heart of it had just interrupted what promised to be a most delightful desire. Certainly she was going to have to pay. He rose angrily, turning slowly, intending to slap the woman for her insolence. Dark eyes widened in surprise; he had not anticipated the arrival of the warrior here.

"Toris!" Xena yelled and drew her sword, "Don't you dare wish for a single thing ... not one thing!"

Toris's face scrunched. Once again, his sister seemed to know everything. "Dammit, Xena, how did you know?"

The djinn slapped a handful of gold coins down on to the table instead.

"I wish to buy your sister afterall," he said. Glaring dangerously at his adversary, he grabbed Toris's shoulder and pushed him out of the way.

"Xena," Jan bin Jan sauntered menacingly toward the warrior, "I would have thought you'd have your hands full with your little friend."

"She wasn't that big of a problem," the droll reply was punctuated by the tip of her sword pointed at his face.

Jan bin Jan circled the warrior slowly, ignoring the blade. He smiled over to Toris, who was watching them both with disbelief on his face. "Is this the beautiful, smart, deadly, murderess you were referring to by any chance, Toris?"

Toris gulped at the eyebrow Xena lifted his way, and scurried to his sister's side. "What's going on, Xena? Who is this guy?"

Xena pushed him off with a strong hand to the shoulder. "Stay back, Toris."

He hated it when she did that. "Come on, Xena! This is my tavern! What the heck is going on?"

"Toris, for once in your life, would you listen to me, please?" Xena afforded a quick glance at her brother, "You have no idea what you're dealing with here."

"Do you?" Toris countered.

But Xena couldn't afford the time to reply. The djinn was circling her steadily, a constantly moving target impossible to strike and as dangersous as a viper loose in a henhouse. She purposely moved away from her brother, drawing the confrontation to a more open part of the inn.

Jan bin Jan followed slowly, calmly, confidently.

"Do you, Xena? Do you know what you are dealing with, really?" He chuckled at the determination set in her fine features. "What are you planning to do, Xena? Are you going to strike at me with that blade, or just stand there pointing it at me forever?" He laughed, a grating sound that rattled the nerves. "There are far better things that we can be doing, you and I, than fighting."

His eyes glittered and drew the warrior into his gaze. She found herself staring into a dark pool that beckoned her to him. Her anger was dissolving into passion, two emotions that had always burned closely next to one another in her heart. Unable to resist the pull, Xena found herself falling into a dreamlike trance.

"Your darkness is such a thing of beauty, Xena," the djinn whispered, moving the blade aside as he stepped toward her. "I've seen nothing like it in centuries. I love to watch it rear its ugly head."

He was past her guard, standing close enough to reach out a hand and touch the smooth skin at the base of her neck. Long fingers extended to her, his touch the final thread in a web that would trap her dark desires and draw them out.

"I'm going to have her, you know," his low voice was hypnotizing. Her sword dropped. His eyes were all she could see. "No matter what you do, you will not be able to stop me."

"After I'm done with you, I will find your woman." His hand slipped between black strands of long, raven hair. He stood against her now, his breath hot in her ear, palm ready to grab at the back of her neck, "And I will make her mine!"

"You wish," Xena stated, and smacked him dead-center right between the eyes with a brain-rattling head-butt.

He grunted, grabbed his head in pain, and stumbled backward, tripping over a chair and falling against a table.

Xena smiled wickedly, flipped her sword, and moved in to finish the job. She swung, hitting him so hard in the head with the handle of her sword, she would have knocked out an elephant. The djinn spun away from the table and crashed into a wall.

"Told ya all I needed was to get my timing." She swung her sword arm again, this time catching his chin in a teeth-shattering uppercut. The djinn's head snapped back and he stumbled away, groping at the wall for support.

She was on him in an instant and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him back against the wall. Before the djinn could recover, Xena had a strong hand wrapped around his throat and had him pinned in a grip so tight, her knuckles were turning white. She leaned her face close to his and smiled, blues eyes flashing with pleasure as she stretched his neck, almost lifting his feet from the floor.

Jan bin Jan looked down at the sword pressing into his skin just under his chin, then up at the clear, cold eyes electric with rage.

"Now would be a good time to make a wish, djinn," Xena's voice was hoarse with anger and Jan bin Jan's eyes grew wide as Xena increased the pressure on his throat.

"Don't tell me a djinn needs air to breathe?" Xena pushed the sharp tip of the sword deeper into his neck, "Will a djinn bleed, I wonder?"

Toris cringed and pulled Nicholaa to him. His wife hid her eyes in his chest. Neither of them could bear to watch -- they were about to lose another customer.

But the djinn only smiled and rasped out a deadly reply. "Kill me and Gabrielle will keeping growing and growing and growing ... Just how big can a bard get, I wonder, before there is not enough air to breathe?" The tight grip loosened around his neck -- just a little.

It was enough to give the powerful djinn the opportunity to send Xena flying across the room and crashing into the opposite wall. She slipped to the floor, dazed, and fell to her knees.

In a flash, a sword appeared in Jan bin Jan's hand and he was rushing at her, tossing tables and chairs out of his way in an all out effort to get to the warrior before she recovered.

"Xena, watch out!" Toris yelled and pulled his wife to the back of the room. Other patrons scrambled out of death's way. The shout brought Xena's head up and she lifted her sword just in time to meet the mighty blow aimed at her with the edge of her blade. The sound of steel rang out in the tavern as the weapons clashed.

Xena pushed herself from the ground with powerful legs and muscled the djinn away, taking the moment that he stumbled to compose herself. Jan bin Jan quickly rebalanced and swung. Xena parried the attack with a downward block. His attempt to flip her sword up and out of her hand was foiled as Xena let her arm flow with the movement, deflecting the parry away.

The djinn sliced at Xena's head, but she ducked, then flipped. He followed her relentlessly, but Xena met him blow for blow, every attack, every downward strike, every powerful swing. He had power though, and she was human. The warrior knew she could not sustain the effort indefinitely. And she also knew that she could not kill the djinn, that she needed him -- if she was going to save Gabrielle, she needed him.

"Agggggh!" Xena grunted in frustration and lauched an attack of her own. Blow after blow, she sent the djinn stumbling backward in his attempt to block the assault.

When he reached the wall and could retreat no furher, he stopped and smiled. "You're a formidable foe, Xena. I haven't enjoyed myself this much in years."

Xena adjusted the grip on her weapon, breathing heavily. "Well this is the last thing you are ever going to enjoy."

Jan bin chuckled, noting the heavy breath and the sweat, and thinking how attractive they both were on this woman. "You can't kill me Xena and you have only tasted the tiniest bit of my power."

The djinn tilted his head as though hearing a distant sound, and then suddenly relaxed, throwing his sword to the ground. Their audience in the tavern shuffled nervously, feeling a strange sensation building in the air. Xena felt it too, and settled into a strong stance, preparing for the worst.

"I've decide to make you my vassal, Xena. I claim you now, in revenge for Najara and because you have a darkness which matches my own."

Nicholaa screamed. Toris held her, torn between helping his sister and keeping his wife safe. The patrons of the tavern backed away, cowering against the wall, cringing at the sight of the djinn's transformation from handsome, dark stranger into a creature who could have only come from the deepest bowels of Hell.

A powerful wind swept across the room, blowing Xena's hair back and ripping the sword from her hand. And then the warrior found she could not move, but was frozen in place by a force she could not see.

The djinn smiled at his prize with fangs dripping a frothy drool. Bright green eyes sparkled against translucent, blood red skin. The viens in the creature's forehead pulsated excitedly and he smiled with black, cracked lips.

Jan bin Jan howled in triumph and stepped forward on sharply taloned feet to reach for a helpless Xena. Long bone-like claws slivered their way along the bare skin of her arms and gripped at her shoulders. The creature was inches from her now, breathing rank, putrid breath into her face. Xena grimaced, trying to turn away but could not move her head, could not move a single muscle to resist.

"And now I shall make you mine!" He licked his blistered lips with a slime-covered black tongue and forcefully pulled the warrior to him, pressing her body hard into his. Not since the chakram had struck her back and she had fallen face first into the dirt, had Xena felt the heavy chains of defeat wrap themselves around her so. All she could do was close her eyes and mentally apologize to Gabrielle for failing once again.

The corner of the djinn's mouth twitched in victory, and he laughed once, spitting, before covering Xena's lips with his own. And when his black, slimy tongue forced his way into her mouth, Xena's entire world turned dark.

The ground lurched once, then twice and the entire building began to shudder. Everyone in the room screamed, glancing around frantically as the walls surrounding them began to rattle. Pieces of timber and beam cracked and broke, and then the entire building groaned as the roof to the inn lifted up and away.

A large shadow cast itself across the floor as Gabrielle looked in. "I knew it!" she cried, catching Xena and Jan bin Jan in their deadly embrace. "I just knew it!"

She ripped the roof up and tossed it away. Pedestrians scattered to avoid the structure as it fell to the street, shattering to pieces. Inside, the building rumbled and quaked, the violent shudder shaking the djinn and warrior apart and breaking the spell. Jan bin Jan tumbled across the room, crashing into tables and chairs.

"Get away from her!" The giant bard shouted.

The djinn rose up from the floor, tossing a stool out of the way, tilted his head back and howled with glee.

Gabrielle glared down at them all, irrational jealousy had turned her normally gentle eyes hard and angry.

"You can't have her!"

Xena, released from the grip of death, had stumbled out of reach, and was spitting the kiss off in disgust. The warrior looked up in alarm, recognizing all too well the voice that was booming over her head. Under the hypnotic control of the djinn, she had not realized that the roof had been ripped away and her partner had arrived.

"Gabrielle," Xena said, smiling. She actually felt relief at the sight of the bard's face, oversized though it may be.

"She's mine!"

The welcomed visage scowled and a massive hand forced its way through the entrance of the inn, ripping the swinging doors off of their hinges in its wake. A gigantic palm, trembling in its enormity, floated by Toris and his wife.

Her eyes wide with fright, Nicolaa lifted the back of her hand up to her mouth and let out one long, loud scream.

Enormous fingers sought for and found the warrior. Wrapping her hand around her partner, Gabrielle picked Xena up, pulled her out through the door, and then carried her away.

******

On to "Attack of the 50 Ft Bard" - Conclusion

Post Date: 7/27/00

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