Deus Ex Gabrielle : The Author's Cut

by
Chris M.
<thoth_anubis@yahoo.com>

Disclaimers : For full disclaimers see Part 1, but in brief, this is a non-explicit altfic. Enjoy!

Part 4 - The Gods' Help?

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Chapter 9 - The Night Before the Big Meeting

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It was nearing nightfall, and Xena was worried. Her barrage of questions to Hercules for any further details about Gabrielle's condition and her present plight remained largely unanswered, though he had dredged his mind for every scrap of information and detail, no matter how minute, that he could remember. Unfortunately, too much remained unknown and unanswered, and there was still no sign of the new goddess.

They had made camp early, setting up in the forest just far enough from Ares' temple to discourage pursuit. Their caution was habitual, but likely unneeded; from the state of the moaning and semiconscious priests, it would be days before they felt up to doing much of anything.

Experienced travellers all, they set up camp in very little time. Wood for the fire was swiftly gathered, a stream of fresh water was located nearby and the waterskins refilled - and a bush with nice, large, soft leaves was located not far from the camp; Xena didn't want to mess with Gabrielle's scrolls again, and certainly not now, while undergoing the forced separation. Just the thought of being without Gabrielle brought a worried frown to her face, and a rush of nervous energy as Xena contemplated the distressing possibility of facing life without her bard. It was not a possibility she faced with equanimity.

For their part, Hercules and Iolaus weathered the storm of Xena's uncertain temper as best they could. The hours they spent waiting with her in the small campsite tasked their patience (given her propensity to demand answers to questions they couldn't answer) and their safety (when she started doing sword drills and wanted sparring partners).

Filled with an incredible level of nervous energy, she worked both herself and them into a state of exhaustion, fencing against both (with the aid of a sword scavenged from one of Ares' priests for Herc) with a ferocious strength. Iolaus dropped out first, exhausted from both the long run to reach the temple and the furious pace of her sword drills. Eventually, he simply slouched against a log and watched the other two work out.

Despite his divine heritage, Hercules faded soon after. She had gotten better in her years of travels, and he was hard pressed to hold his own against her flashing blade, driven as it was by the flood of adrenaline powering her muscles, and especially after his long day's travel to intercept her.

Having exhausted her friends, she then turned to Argo, grooming her until her coat shone, her hooves were flawless, and her tack was in perfect condition. She then proceeded to mend every scrap of clothing she and Gabrielle owned - which admittedly wasn't much, but it still let her waste another candlemark while the men groaned and tried to recover while nursing their bruises. Still too full of nervous energy to relax, she next went hunting, returning soon after with a brace of large rabbits. She plopped them down on a pair of large leaves and looked at her campmates expectantly.

The two men stared at the field-dressed hares and then at each other. Finally, Iolaus ventured to ask, "Um, aren't you going to cook them? You've been doing everything else?"

Xena raised an eyebrow, and the heat of her glare made him flinch back slightly. "You don't want to try my cooking," she finally bit out. "I hunted them... you can cook them," she explained slowly, emphasizing the words as though speaking to idiots.

Hercules tried to soothe her, knowing her foul temper was driven only by her concern for her missing friend. "He didn't mean anything by it," he explained carefully, "it's just that...we aren't very good cooks."

Despite her temper, Xena almost laughed at that. "But you guys are on the road as much we are...how can one of you not be able to cook? At least Gabrielle can..." she stopped abruptly, unpleasantly reminded of the current crisis.

"We can cook," Iolaus sheepishly admitted as he hurried to divert her from thoughts of Gabrielle, "but...why do you think we stay at inns so much? If we had to live on our own cooking all the time, we'd starve."

The three stared morosely at the dead rabbits for a while, until Hercules finally offered, "Maybe between the three of us, we can make something edible." The other two agreed with some trepidation, and they began the process of preparing the meal.

Despite the trio's shortcomings as chefs, they were able to make a meal they could eat. It was a little burned, and a little bland, and more than a little dry...but they could eat it. Their tribulations had one benefit : it helped clear the air (except for the smoke), and even Xena had relaxed enough to rest a little while eating. The wineskin of potent port they were passing around to wash it down didn't hurt, either.

They were relaxing, not even talking, just staring into the campfire and thinking as the fire burned low and consumed their scraps, when it happened. A scroll faded into existence in front of Xena with a flash of green light.

Xena grabbed it instantly and with shaking fingers untied the cord holding the two ends together. The two men watched anxiously as she slowly unrolled the parchment and began to read.

"Xena," it began.

"I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner, but things have been a little strange today." Xena actually laughed out loud at that - turned into a god, and she calls it a "little strange." Meanwhile, if it had happened to Xena, Gabrielle would write a ten-scroll epic singing her praises and calling it a natural outgrowth of her quest for redemption. Shaking her head at her friend's foibles, she continued reading.

"Zeus refused to help me," her gasp brought a worried look to the two not-so-patiently watching men, but she silently resumed reading. "...and none of the other gods I contacted would help. Finally I went to Ares..."

"Oh, Gabrielle," she murmured, worried.

"...but not only wouldn't he help me, he played a practical joke on me, and now I'm kind of stuck...it's hard to explain, but when next I see you, I'll show you - unless I can fix it beforehand. I ran into Artemis (long story but I'll tell you everything when next I see you) and while at first she was upset with me, after she understood what had happened with Apollo, she was very sympathetic. She took me hunting, and I learned a lot...though I wouldn't kill anything. Anyway, I was going to come visit, but tomorrow morning, Zeus has called a convocation of the gods to decide what to do with me. I'm hoping I can convince them to help me, but I'm afraid they'll try to make me accept a position in the hierarchy of Olympus - which if Hephaestus is right, may change me permanently. I'll definitely come see you before that happens, but... I'm just a little nervous. There's not much time left before the meeting, otherwise I'd be with you now, but the last time I journeyed from Olympus to the mortal realm, I lost several candlemarks somehow (ask Hercules to explain, 'cause I sure can't), and I really don't want to miss this meeting. I miss you, Xena, and I really wish you could be here with me, but...well, I guess that's all I can say. If things go well, I'll be sleeping next to you by the campfire tomorrow night, and everything will be back to normal. I'll be thinking of you...

Love, Gabrielle."

Xena lowered the scroll, and Hercules carefully slipped it out of her limp fingers for himself and Iolaus to read. Instead of reassuring her, Gabrielle's note had only made Xena even more nervous than before. What kind of a joke would Ares play on Gabrielle? He can be wicked and cruel, and if he touches... she broke that train of thought before her anger could get the better of her again.

"Well," Hercules began, finishing the scroll and handing it to Iolaus, who began rereading it carefully. "It's not hopeless yet." He was disappointed yet again in his father for this latest in the string of failures when one of his friends needed help.

"Maybe," she muttered, still thinking heavily.

"What do you think she means when she talks about a joke by Ares?" Iolaus asked, pointing to the point in the scroll.

"I don't know," Hercules and Xena said in unison, before turning to look at each other. "It worries me." she finished.

Xena fell silent after that, and stared at the fire, clenching and unclenching her fists as she mulled over what Gabrielle had written.

Iolaus and Hercules shared a glance. "Look on the bright side," Iolaus ventured, "she's an Amazon queen, right?" At Xena's nod, he continued, "Well, she's hanging out with Artemis, their goddess. That's good, isn't it? And she is pretty nice, for one of the gods anyway," he offered brightly.

"You've met her?"

"Once," he admitted. "Didn't Gabrielle tell you that story?"

"No," she returned softly. "You tell it to me," she ordered, albeit somewhat plaintively. Despite her iron control, her warrior mask was beginning to slip, and the stoicism she usually hid her emotions behind was beginning to fracture.

"I'm no bard," he retorted, then seeing the lost look that was appearing in her eyes, he slowly began to tell the story of a Golden Apple, and the contest among three goddesses he had judged...

*****

Chapter 10 - Interlude : The Morning of the Gathering

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Gabrielle awoke with a jerk, curled up in a bedroll in Artemis' sacred forest. There was still a little time before the conclave to decide what the gods would do with her, she realized, and she intended to take full advantage of that fact.

She stood, and stretching hugely, worked the kinks out of her back. For the first time in years, she had slept on the open ground and not had a single rock underneath her bedroll. She felt great, despite having to sleep while trapped in Ares' armor. A brief stretch to loosen her muscles, and she was ready to go - just like that... instantly. It was unbelievable to her, who had never been a morning person, and she could just imagine Xena's amazed reaction if she had witnessed it.

For the first time, she felt a moment of sympathy for something Aphrodite had once said after losing her powers. If she was used to waking up like this, and looking down, she saw her pristine limbs and still snowy leathers, with no trace of dirt or need to wash, then no wonder she had been so plaintive in crying out, "I'm new to this whole mortal hygiene thing."

Being a goddess has some benefits, Gabrielle thought, but I can't wait to give it up. No matter the perks, as a goddess she would lose the most important thing in her life: Xena. There was no question which she would choose.

She carefully replaced the sword in her scabbard, not even noticing the unconscious grace and skill she used in sheathing it, then slung her bow over one shoulder. Looking around her campsite, she quenched the fire with a thought, then looked to see if she had forgotten anything. Seeing only her bedroll, which had been provided by Artemis, she rolled it up and set it carefully aside for later retrieval.

Taking a deep breath, she prepared to face the gathered gods of Olympus. She faded out of sight with a subdued flash. Here goes nothing...

*****

Chapter 11 - The Gathering of the Gods

*****

When Gabrielle reappeared, she was in an enormous amphitheater made of glowing marble. She froze as she looked around trying to take in the sheer scope of the monumental structure. The stands stretched as far as the eye could see (and considering she was a goddess, that's pretty dang far), and were interrupted at intervals by small viewing boxes containing golden thrones, dangling banners to indicate which deities they were reserved for. Everything was made from a translucent marble with veins of pure silver and gold running through it, and the sheer perfection of the construction - even aside from the monumental size - clearly informed her that this was no edifice constructed by mortal man.

The sky above was magnificent, full of multicolored clouds swirling and reforming while she watched as though time were passing at thrice normal speed. Brilliant lights similar to the aurora borealis glowed irregularly in the heavens, giving a multicolor sheen to the upper levels of the stands. The marble glowed back with a life of its own, and the combination of the light from above and the light from the structures below made the locale seem almost spectral - and definitely unearthly... a fitting setting indeed for a gathering of the gods.

Once she had grown used to the beautiful but unnatural surroundings, she turned her attention to the beings who shared the space with her. She studied her fellow visitors with a curious eye, her natural curiosity only strengthened by her recent elevation. She looked around, uncertain of what to do, and the protocol for such a gathering. Small groups of deities clustered together talking quietly, while still more gods popped in and out to join the idling throngs before continuing on their way. For the moment, Gabrielle was content to simply absorb the atmosphere.

What was most startling to the kibitzing Gabrielle was the sheer number of beings present - all to decide her fate. As a bard, she'd been aware in a general sense of the large number of gods that existed, since most rivers, some mountains, seas, and even beaches had gods, and that number didn't even include the major divinities, or their multitudinous offspring.

She amused herself by trying to identify the various divinities present, and Gabrielle, with the aid of her divine senses (and bardic repertory) was able to identify several of the muses on sight (and didn't seeing them send her heart racing with excitement), naiads, dryads, nymphs, fauns, and even some bacchae. The hot eyed looks they gave her brought a resurgence of a memory of dancing in that bar...

The groups of Bacchus' servants seemed to be about equally divided in their attitudes towards their former sister in his service. The numbers were almost evenly split between those snarling at her and looking like they wished they could tear out her throat, and those who gazed with open lust - or hunger; she couldn't quite decide which was the better description. Shifting uncomfortably at their...passionate...attention, she forced herself to look away.

In addition to the lesser entities clustered throughout the stands, there were some of the more powerful gods already in attendance as well. Phoebus Apollo, sulking in a viewing box atop a golden sunburst banner, and grey-eyed Athena, wearing a complicated device of metal and glass on the bridge of her nose, were the only ones seated in their reserved booths, but Boreäs, Alecto, and many others were scattered amidst the crowd. Slinking through the nether reaches of the stands, she saw Priapus, wearing a garment that in the future would be reinvented and called a "trenchcoat," lurking, opening his garment periodically to reveal himself to any unwary passing deity.

As Gabrielle stood by the side of the entrance and simply watched, Aesclepius and Artemis came in, followed shortly thereafter by Aphrodite and Hephaestus, who appeared walking arm in arm.

Although Gabrielle didn't notice, others had seen her arrival as well. Her "inconspicuous" viewing site was in full view of the stands, and many were the curious eyes that turned to watch her as she studied the gathering. Covered by her enveloping cloak, only her face was visible as she continued to observe the subtle dance of power and privilege as the gods sorted themselves into their seats, but even still, more than one of the clandestinely watching divinities felt their blood burn with desire for their new member.

As the time of the meeting drew nearer, the seats in the amphitheater began filling up, and the milling throng began to thin as the deities took their places. Gabrielle stared blankly as the gods began to array themselves in the stands, and wondered where she should sit.

Just as she was about to leave her viewing position and head into the stands, Artemis approached her. "There you are," she happily greeted her queen. "I've been looking all over for you. We always have trouble finding who we need when there's a gathering... There's so many of us here, it tends to overwhelm the senses."

Gabrielle was happy to put herself in her goddess' hands. "I'm glad to see you, too," she responded, letting herself be drawn into the huntress' embrace.

More than one secret frown greeted their friendly greeting. She was beautiful, and more than one had felt a stirring in their hearts (and other locations) for her. One overwrought god, who was the patron of a small, unimportant river in an uninhabited portion of Thrace, actually burst into tears as he realized her preferences - and how it left him out.

Taking Gabrielle by the hand, Artemis gently pulled her through the small knots of gods still gathered on the floor at the base of the amphitheater until they stood at the foot of a dais at the focal point of the enormous stands.

Although she was unaware of it, the gods in the stands could clearly see the scuffmarks atop the dais beside Zeus' throne. Hera's throne - made of platinum and gems and resembling nothing so much as a magnificent peacock - had rather hurriedly been removed after her deposal, and the marks served as a subtle reminder of the cost of going against the king of the gods.

The lessons to be learned from Hera's failure were not lost on the audience. They recognized them well - the lessons learned were : don't fail, and if you do, don't get caught.

"Wait here, Gabrielle," Artemis explained as she positioned her on the bottom terrace of the dias. With a smile, she opened the concealing cloak to expose her armor, absentmindedly brushing non-existent lint off the new goddess' shoulders, before straightening the armor slightly. She wanted her Queen to look her best for the gathered divinities, after all, and even in Ares' costume, she looked very good. "Zeus will start the convocation shortly, and shortly after that, he'll introduce you. Once that's out of the way, the interested parties will each make a presentation for what position they think you are suited for. After everyone who wishes to speak has spoken, we'll vote on what is to be your new position."

"Great!" Gabrielle enthused. "So when do I get to speak?"

"Actually, you don't."

"What?" she demanded, stunned.

"It's considered immodest for a new petitioner to speak on their own behalf. By tradition, you must remain mute until Zeus dismisses the gathering." the Amazon goddess explained.

Concerned with modesty? The gods? Has the universe gone mad when I wasn't watching? "But..." she trailed off, unable to adequately explain her confusion and sudden fear. Will I be transformed before I can even refuse - before I can even see Xena again?

"Don't worry," Artemis soothed, holding Gabrielle's shoulders and swiftly trying to calm her down, even though she didn't really understand the true reason for Gabrielle's sudden panic. "I've called in some markers, and it looks like you'll be joining me." She pulled the nervous girl into another quick hug, and smiled down into her worried face. "Just stay calm, and keep quiet, and it'll all be over soon."

She was going to protest, but Artemis stilled her words with a finger pressed to her lips. "Remember - you must be silent, or face severe repercussions." With a final reassuring pat on the back, and a whispered, "Good luck," she was left alone, at the center of attention of all the gathered gods.

Her instinctive response was to shrink under the collective weight of the gazes of the entire pantheon of the gods of Greece. She was used to speaking in front of crowds - she was a bard, after all - but not under the collective gaze of every god in Greece. With a deep breath to steady herself, she imagined Xena and how she would react in her position. Smiling, she pictured the Warrior Princess standing straight and tall, glaring into the faces of the gods and daring them to try anything - and letting them know that even if they did try, they'd lose. Almost without realizing it, she stood straight and firm, proudly bearing up under their gazes and looking positively regal.

More hearts went out to her, as the gathered gods stared at the small but magnificent figure standing silently before them.

Zeus waited until all the other gods had arrived and were seated, then he waited some more. Eventually, once all present understood they were waiting solely upon his pleasure, and were forced to acknowledge that fact, he was ready to make his entrance.

He materialized on the dais with a triumphant fanfare that echoed in the enormous amphitheater, his aura of majesty glowing visibly and infusing the dais with a glow that outshone the aurora in the sky above - making him even more magnificent than the last time Gabrielle had seen him. She was awed, despite her own newly divine status, and in the face of the majestic presence of the king of the gods, respectfully knelt.

A low susurrus of surprise and murmured speculation swept the amphitheater, and after a brief pause as they absorbed her actions, most of the gathered deities joined her in showing their respect (however reluctant) for their sovereign as he slowly crossed the dais to his throne. Ares and his party was a notable exception.

"You may be seated," the king of the gods regally proclaimed, pleased by the reaction - and taking careful note of those who had been hesitant or had completely failed to kneel. With a low murmur, the crowd shuffled around for a brief period before once more settling back into their seats. Gabrielle calmly rose and resumed her stance at the foot of the dais, positioning herself respectfully to the side.

Zeus seated himself upon the throne, and his aura tightened about him. In moments, only he and the throne were encompassed by the glow of his power, though all the more intensely for the concentration of his might, while the dais slowly resumed its usual pale glow.

"We are gathered," he began, once the noise of the throng had dissipated once more, "my fellow Olympians, to welcome our newest member, and to determine her role as a proud denizen of Olympus." He gestured, and Gabrielle was suddenly illuminated in a shaft of light that came from no definable source. "Fellow deities, I present to you...Gabrielle."

The round of applause she received took Gabrielle completely by surprise. If she could have seen herself, gleaming with power and a quiet dignity of her own, her snowy cloak and armor glowing under the sourceless shaft of light, standing confidently and proudly by the foot of Zeus' throne - she was breathtakingly magnificent - she would have understood the applause, but being herself, and essentially modest, she had no understanding of why they would be celebrating her elevation. Even Ares and Discord were applauding, though the lesser divinity was less enthusiastic about it than her smirking boss was.

When the applause had faded once more, Zeus began speaking again. "Although her elevation was not planned, and can only have occurred through the intervention of the Fates..." Here the audience turned as one to face Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, who were sitting by themselves in an isolated section. They remained stoic and unmoved, and soon the crowd, disturbed by the...unnatural calm they exuded, turned back to Zeus.

Zeus, having anticipated that reaction, calmly picked up where he had left off. "...she has indeed been elevated to our ranks. And," he paused grandly, "I have judged her worthy of this signal honor."

The blatant shill for more applause was eagerly answered. The cheers and clapping continued for many minutes. Eventually however, even Zeus reached his limit of acclamation, and the king of the gods held up his hands to still the cheers.

"But," he emphasized as he continued, "having attained this rank, she must now join us in the fullest sense. It is now our responsibility to weigh her merits, and determine the role most suited for her to play in our court. Let all who have suggestions for her future duties come forward to be heard."

The cheers were thunderous.

It went smoother than it should have, probably because none of the gods wanted to be embarrassed in front of so many of their fellows. Some of the suggestions were greeted with boos, others with cheers, and not a few with jeers. Although there were only a few possibilities with any real chance of success, many of the lesser deities, taken with Gabrielle's beauty and presence, made offers for her, making the process take a very long time. Only a few suggestions from the many were seriously considered, but those were all made by gods who held great weight in the Olympian court. Yet even among the reasonable and likely, some clearly stood out above the others as being the most important, though the reasons for their significance varied widely, and the diversity of options chosen for her was striking.

The muses went first, as was perhaps understandable given her vocation, and came forward as a group to announce their wish to adopt her as a new member based on her proven ability as a bard. Gabrielle wasn't surprised at their request (since she was a bard, after all) but she was taken aback by their speech. Although the option they presented - as the patroness of rhapsodes and bards - was appealing, there was something strange about the entire situation. Despite who they were, their presentation seemed half-hearted at best, and the nine identically begowned women were surprisingly sedate while making their lackluster recommendation. Only a few scattered divinities clapped at their unenthused performance, and a clerk, wearing the same metal and glass contraption on his face as Athena, made a notation of it on a scroll. The muses hurried down from the dais and soon resumed their positions within the crowd.

Gabrielle was the only person still watching the muses after they sat down (she was still amazed by the uninspired performance), and consequently was the sole witness for what happened next. The rest of the crowd was too busy watching a succession of minor gods making hopeless pleas for her service, (and the fact that they knew their requests were unlikely to be answered made them all the more pathetic). While the parade of lesser gods were speaking however, Discord furtively teleported next to the Muses' seats and with careful, easy motions, passed small packages to each of the nine.

Gabrielle's eyes narrowed as she watched the transaction taking place. She was not quite as naïve as she used to be, having dealt with the squalid politics of Rome and sleazy dealings of several corrupt kings and public officials across the face of the known world, and she could easily recognize the payoff for what it was. She turned to speak to Zeus to point out the improper behavior, but he frowned at her as soon as her mouth opened. The lightning that crashed in the distance to emphasize his point was perhaps overdone, but effective nonetheless. She quickly shut her mouth and turned back to watch the other speakers, determined to talk to the king of the gods after the whole sordid affair was over - if Ares won this, she'd have to try to convince Zeus to nullify the rigged outcome.

Zeus nodded in approval of her return to silence, then called upon the next speaker.

Bacchus strode confidently forward, the ram's horns growing from his temples gleaming in the sourceless light. His skin glittered like freshly spilled blood against the backdrop of pale skinned bacchae that surrounded him like a flock of bats. "I have known Gabrielle before," he began grandly, "having had her in my service for a time, and it is I who know best where she should serve." He briefly grinned, showing her his razor edged teeth, then turned back to the crowd before lifting his arms in triumph, making his leather jerkin strain to accommodate his bulging muscles. "She shall join once more with me, and become the queen of my bacchae!" His covey of bacchae all clapped, satisfied to accept her now that they knew the will of their master, and a few openly leered and licked their lips suggestively at her.

Unlike Bacchus' servants, the rest of the crowd was singularly underwhelmed by his "suggestion" - which had been phrased more definitively. The horned god soon returned to his seat, disgruntled and seething at the crowd's lack of enthusiasm for his choice of queen.

Aphrodite and Cupid came to the dais together, and she spoke first. "The Gabster's been good to us," she began, "and let me tell ya, despite what horny just said," a few appreciative chuckles met her sally, "I have got the perfect job for her, one suited for her tastes...and needs," her words were loaded with suggestion, and brought the hint of a blush to Gabrielle's cheeks.

The goddess of love turned to look Gabrielle over slowly, her eyes lingering over her nearly revealed charms, and a gleam appeared in her eye while Cupid finished the presentation. "Within the group of gods of love in all its manifestations, Gabrielle would be given an honored role." he began. "She would serve as the mentor for true friendship between women, romantic but platonic friendship between women, and also the love now known as sapphic. Indeed, if she does as well as we anticipate in her new role, a new word may soon be coined to join the present trinity of love - one based on her name."

Gabrielle blushed, especially when Aphrodite clarified with a warm purr, "Between the amazons, those babes on Lesbos, and certain warrior chicks I could name, she'll find plenty of sweet grrrls," she growled the word before continuing in a voice that was even more hotly suggestive, "to worship at her altar." Gabrielle jumped as the love goddess slid one hand up underneath her short skirt and pinched her butt, then kept her hand there, cupping one warm cheek, the action hidden beneath Gabrielle's cloak. She winked at Gabrielle, smiling saucily as her fingers continued to caress.

The applause was much more enthusiastic this time, though still somewhat hesitant. Despite this, Aphrodite glowed under the attention of the crowd. She strutted back to her seat, and wherever she walked, the applause increased in intensity. She blew kisses, waved, and touched shoulders as she went, garnering longing gazes and some openly lustful looks. And, as Aphrodite continued to flirt with the gods, the level of enthusiasm climbed ever higher as the gods who had longed for Gabrielle thought the idea through to its logical conclusion, and realized that as a love goddess, Gabrielle might be imbued with some of Aphrodite's... proclivities. Aphrodite's idea abruptly became much more popular among the gods who'd pined for the newcomer. By the time Aphrodite reached her seat and sat with an intriguing undulation that lifted her gossamer skirt almost past her hips, the applause was thunderous and all but shook the stadium. The silent clerk duly made another notation.

Artemis rose and came forward next, still clad in her doeskins, though with her bow safely slung, much to the relief of Discord. "Gabrielle was my chosen when she was a mortal," she began without preamble, her speech blunt, but all the more impassioned for its lack of polish, "and the queen of my Amazons. Now that she has been elevated to a more lofty status, it is only fitting that she join with me."

She looked around at the various contenders for Gabrielle, and elaborated, despite loathing the crowded conditions and wishing the whole sorry affair was over with. "Unlike some others, I do not have any lessers assisting me in my duties. Ares, you have Discord, and had Strife, as well as Phobos and Deimos... Aphrodite, you have Cupid, and eventually will have his son Bliss to aid you in your efforts... and so on. This has always been the case. However, with the coming of Gabrielle, I wish for that to change. Though I don't have an official title or a formal description of her duties worked out yet, let her join with me, and together we can work to accomplish great things."

She continued her scrutiny of the crowd, looking vaguely uncomfortable at being the focus of attention, then concluded, "Do not punish her by imposing new strictures upon her. Though she has learned skills from the best of the mortal world's heroes, she was sadly unprepared for her elevation, and needs tutoring to be truly ready to assume an office. Let her remain with she who was her patron goddess, and let us proceed forward into the future." She sat down, and the crowd, awed by the impassioned speech the taciturn and solitary huntress goddess had made, cheered wildly.

Ares was the final presenter, and Gabrielle's breath caught as he strutted to the stage, looking darkly handsome in his leathers and beard. He smiled - actually smiled, in a normal, cheerful way - not smirked or leered - and examined her carefully, standing proud and resplendent in the outfit he had trapped her in. "Gods, I love leather," he said, too softly for any but Gabrielle to hear him.

Turning back to the crowd, he pitched his voice to project maximum warmth and charm, and began. "My sisters are quite persuasive," he acknowledged, "but they don't tell you the whole story of our new sister."

He smiled evilly at Gabrielle while he stroked his sword- shaped earring, then continued. "Artemis tells of Gabrielle learning at the feet of the mortals' best, and I certainly agree with that," he added smugly, "since after all - she learned under the tutelage of my chosen." A surprised murmur swept the crowd and Ares strutted before them, basking in their surprised approval and luring them under his sway with honeyed words and an insidiously seductive charm.

"And over her years as a mortal, how many times did my dear sister Artemis personally deal with her - her 'Chosen?'" he asked rhetorically and sardonically. "Would you be surprised to learn the answer is... not once." A surprised hum filled the auditorium, and he continued to make his case, shaking his head sadly (and slightly melodramatically) as he described Artemis' shortcomings. "I on the other hand, met and worked both with and against her countless times." He grinned smugly. "We have done favors for each other, and have quarrelled with each other, and we know intimately how each other works. Indeed, it would be far more jarring for her to be joined to one of my sisters then it would be for her to join with me."

He slowly walked around her still figure, using the position of his hands to subtly focus attention on her warlike armor, and the sword and bow she bore so competently. "Is this a figure you would associate with love?" he shook his head sadly. "No, though she is truly lovely, she belongs not reclining at Aphrodite's feet, but standing proudly by the side of war." He flung a small, pre-prepared charm, and tickled the seed of anger lurking in the depths of Gabrielle's soul, bringing it to the fore.

Although she felt what Ares' had done, Gabrielle didn't know what it was - and couldn't have done anything about it even if she had known. Gabrielle almost screamed as her frustrated anger rose even higher as she abruptly realized his motivation for trapping her in the martial clothing, but held herself mute - except for a low growl - with enormous effort as he began speaking again; she couldn't quite prevent her eyes from glowing with the force of her repressed rage, however. Her sour expression, and her dimly glowing eyes only bolstered his argument, and more than one who had cheered Artemis and Aphrodite began to rethink their positions.

"And when the great Evil threatened us all, it was my chosen and I, along with Gabrielle who alone faced the threat. And although she lost her daughter, my own consort, in that fight," he frowned with sorrowful pity for her, though the glint in his eyes showed how hollow it truly was, "we were able to end the menace of the One Great Evil, and keep Olympus strong."

A rising sentiment of agreement was heard, and Ares smiled in satisfaction. His fellow gods were easier to manipulate then freshly drafted peasant levies. "Although some of you may not like me - either who I am, or what I do - you know that I am necessary. Without me, chaos would reign supreme, and all would crumble...but sadly, our," here he smiled while putting one hand on her shoulder, as though Gabrielle were already in his camp, "victories were not without cost. Along with Gabrielle's daughter, we lost a dear friend and a great god - my nephew, Strife." Under his breath, he muttered "that stupid little bastard," before continuing at a higher volume. "Due to the One God's madness, the thin wall that I and my fellows present against the forces of chaos has been weakened."

His expression grew martyred, and Gabrielle's eyes glowed bright green, making her seem even more warlike as she struggled to fight down the urge incited by Ares' charm to strike down the arrogant and deceitful god where he stood. He noted her rage with gleeful eyes, and continued. "A god has died, and a new god has joined us. It seems only fitting that she take the place of the fallen as part of the bulwark against the forces of chaos that seek to sweep us all away." He slowly turned, and whispering in Gabrielle's ear, letting his hot breath tickle the fine hairs on her neck, and fanning the flames of her anger, whispered, "You were so irritating as a mortal - Strife's job will be perfect for you..."

Ares smirked and concluded, "Honor our new member, and give her a place of honor in our ranks - let her join the forces of War." He bowed, and stroking his beard, returned to his seat, pausing once along the way to blow Gabrielle a kiss.

She turned to beg Zeus for permission to speak, but he ignored her. When she would have spoken anyway, demanding he force Ares to tell the truth hidden behind his veiled half-truths and misleading statements, he silenced her with an off-handed gesture. Her mouth opened and closed, but not a sound came out.

Ares' small spell dissipated, and the unnatural anger she felt gradually faded away. She felt...strangely empty without the heat of the wargod's rage filling her.

"Cast your votes now," Zeus proclaimed, ignoring her efforts to pantomime her frantic protests.

Horrified, Gabrielle watched as the gods cast their votes to decide her fate, not even having been consulted as to what her preference would be - which in this case, was none of the above. The clerk swiftly tallied the results and reported to Zeus in a soft whisper that not even Gabrielle could overhear.

The king of the gods stared at the clerk in surprise. "Are you sure?" he demanded. "You counted again?"

"Thrice," the clerk confirmed, nodding energetically.

With a frown, Zeus commanded, "Get the scroll."

The clerk scurried off to comply, while a buzz of excitement filled the stands. Gabrielle was practically dancing with nervousness, but forced herself to remain still. She had no idea what was going on, but from the hum of conversation in the stands, she realized no one else did either.

Zeus sat upon his throne, impassive and regal, his face a studied mask of neutrality as his aura continued to slowly pulse majestically. Gabrielle was forced to look away as her nerves began to fail in the face of that puissant display. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, nor what was going on.

Turning to the audience, she searched their faces for hints to the situation, but found no answers. Ares was frowning and stroking his goatee, Artemis seemed nervous and was fiddling with her necklace, and Aphrodite was too busy nibbling on Hephaestus' earlobe to provide any support. The only one who seemed to have a clue what was going on was Athena - and the only visible clue that she did was because she winked at Gabrielle before turning her attention to adjusting the straps on her helmet. Fidgeting, Gabrielle could only stand mute and wait... neither of which was very appealing at the moment.

Time seemed to crawl, and though it was only a very few minutes before the clerk returned with an ancient scroll, it seemed an eternity. Zeus took the scroll with a great deal of reverence, and, after carefully unrolling it to the middle, began reading.

The crowd recognized the scroll, though Gabrielle did not. The excited whispers rose several notches in volume, and both Ares' and Artemis' eyes widened in surprise. Still with no clue as to what was going on, Gabrielle finally turned to watch Zeus.

After reading for several minutes, Zeus seemed to sigh, then carefully resealed the scroll. He formally handed the scroll back to the clerk, who carried it off as though it were the most precious object in existence.

The low murmurs faded as Zeus rose, and the amphitheater was silent. With no small sense of irony, Gabrielle recognized Zeus' great showmanship in raising the tension as he held up his hands to still all movement - but even knowing that, she felt her tension rise all the same. "For the first time in the history of Olympus," he announced gravely, "we have a tie."

The roar was deafening. Excited conversations, catcalls, cheers, howls, and shrieks of delight and frustration filled the air, and Zeus smiled slightly as he read the waves of emotion sweeping the crowd. Ares' and Bacchus' enraged faces told of their own thoughts on the matter, but Artemis only looked confused, while Athena looked smug. Aphrodite was otherwise occupied and didn't even hear the pronouncement.

"We have a three-way tie between the suggestions of Ares, Artemis, and Aphrodite," Zeus continued. The excitement level rose again, and the noise increased as well. After waiting for the noise to die down, he gravely explained the consequences.

"As set down in the original compact of union, signed upon the defeat of the Titans and the creation of this Olympian pantheon," he paused dramatically, "the decision therefore, will rest solely upon the head of Gabrielle." The volume of the cheers was deafening. At the center of the amphitheater, with the sound all focused on her, she had to cover her ears with her hands against the assault of the noise.

Artemis was delighted, Ares was furious, Athena remained smug, and Aphrodite simply sat back down in her seat and delicately licked her lips clean.

After raising his hands in an unsuccessful bid to quell the hubbub, Zeus wisely decided to wait for the reaction to die down.

He waited for a long time.

When the noise was at last reduced to non-painful levels, he resumed speaking as though he had not been interrupted. "The compact will be honored!" he proclaimed in a thunderous voice that rocked the firmament. "Gabrielle," he paused, then turned to stare into her eyes, "by tomorrow's dawn, you must speak the name of the god you will accept as your mentor and guardian - Ares, Aphrodite, or Artemis. Should you fail to reach a decision, one will be chosen for you."

He sighed, and for a moment he looked like nothing so much as a tired old man. "Choose...and choose wisely. You must deal with the consequences of your choice for a very long time."

He rose, and once again he was the king of the gods, cloaked in majesty and glowing with power. "I have spoken," he proclaimed. "This convocation is now adjourned."

Striding majestically, he walked to the back of the dais, and vanished in a burst of brilliant white light. The crowd waited until he was gone, then burst once more in conversation. A few gods popped out of sight to return to their homes or duties, but the vast majority remained to debate or argue over which would or should be her choice.

The noise level skyrocketed as soon as Zeus had left and the need for decorum had vanished. Gabrielle remained frozen at the base of the dais, trying to figure out what he had meant by his parting words to her. As she considered that cryptic warning, the three deities who remained in contention for her service began fighting their way through the milling gods to reach her.

The two females glared at the furious Ares as they went, unified in disgust for the wargod - even without knowing the full extent of his machinations. Ares ignored their looks - he was too upset that his plans to sway the crowd into granting him Gabrielle's servitude without question hadn't succeeded.

They reached her at about the same time, and clustered around her like a circling trio of vultures. "Gabrielle," they began in unison. After a pause as they sorted out who should speak first, each simply decided to ignore the others' presence and began speaking, trying to convince her of their own rightness for her, and the proper choice she should make.

At the same time, they interjected thinly veiled attacks on each other's claims. The venom-laced honeyed words soon dissolved into personal attacks on each other, the arguments flying fast and furious as they began ignoring the still silent Gabrielle entirely in favor of arguing with each other. The rest of the crowd soon settled down and turned to watch the show. This day was turning out to be the most entertaining one for them since the time Hera had caught Zeus in the shape of a bull about to make his way to Minos.

"She should go with me!" "She belongs with me!" "You only want to use her to get to Xena!" "That's just a bonus! At least I don't want to reshape her entirely!" "Where were you when she needed you?" "What about when Dahak got his claws in her? Huh? Where were you?" "You have no clue what the babe needs!" "Oh that's right, you were sleeping with her daughter." "Right. Like she'd want to touch you - even with that staff of hers. She loves me!" "You wouldn't know what she needs if it came up and bit you on the ass! Oh, that's right...you'd like that." "Yeah! and what's the deal with those lies you told, Ar'?" "And what wasn't a lie was misleading at best!" Before long the three were reduced to screaming incoherently at each other - even Aphrodite - their words swiftly turning less to persuasion and more to a vituperative diatribe against the others.

Gabrielle felt Zeus' silencing of her dissolve, but remained too overwhelmed by the feuding gods arguing around her to speak. Finally, after Ares let slip a sly implication about Artemis' "so-called virginity" and her pack of hounds, she had reached her limit. They were like children squabbling over a toy - and she was the toy. None of them - not even Artemis, her patron as Queen of the Amazons - had once bothered to ask her what she wanted. "Shut up!" she screeched, before being stunned at both her own temerity and the sheer...self-absorption of the divinities surrounding her.

The feuding gods turned to stare at her in shock, silenced by her surprising outburst.

"None of you understand...none of you..." her voice softened with each word until by the end she was whispering. "You don't care what I want, you only want to..." she trailed off, and then with a shake of her head, she vanished in a burst of green light, leaving the three staring at the empty space she used to occupy, and the sparkling tear that seemed to fall in slow motion, only to splash into oblivion against the glowing marble floor.

In unison they turned to each other and yelled, "This is all your fault!" before resuming their argument.

*****

End of Part 4

*****

Part 5 - Seeking a Solution

*****

Chapter 12 - Interlude : An Idea from the Rear

*****

Gabrielle sat on the roof of the Parthenon and looked down across the city of Athens. It had been a long time since they had passed this way, but she still loved this city. Sighing, she watched the sun rising across the water. Only 24 candlemarks to decide who would...own her... service - Artemis or Aphrodite.

Ares wasn't in the running. Even if he hadn't tried to force things to go his way, with the trap, and the armor, and the bribing of the muses, she would never have agreed to serve him. Even if she hadn't known him personally, serving the god of war was not something she could ever do.

On the other hand, she did like Artemis, and though her relationship with Aphrodite was... complicated, she sort of liked the off-beat goddess too. It was much too complicated a problem for swift resolution, yet Zeus was forcing her to try to find a solution in less than a day.

Maybe I could get used to the idea of being a goddess, Gabrielle mused, but I doubt it. One thing was certain, though; she didn't want to be molded to fit the office, as Hephaestus had explained assuming a role entailed. She liked who she was, and being... reshaped sounded almost like a form of death. She remembered how Ares had been a normal, almost honorable person while mortal - though oddly enough, when her magic scroll stripped his powers away he seemed his usual self. Which would happen to her? If she were to go along with the will of the gods, and accept a position, would she turn into a cold, honorless, arrogant... god like all the others, or remain unchanged? And what had Zeus' parting words really meant?

She hadn't wanted any of these complications... she only wanted things to be back to the way things used to be - simple, uncomplicated... In a word, mortal. Why can't I just be a normal mortal again, following Xena, and only occasionally running into the gods - spending the rest of my time fighting warlords, saving Greece, and telling the tales of our adventures? A moment's impishness led her to amend herself, Well, perhaps not quite a normal mortal, but still a mortal.

Sighing, she looked down as a few worshippers climbed the acropolis towards the temple she sat upon. The gods won't help me, so what can I do? From nowhere an afflatus struck her... well, actually, not from nowhere : it seemed to flow into her from the cold stone under her butt. With not a little surprise, she realized it wasn't her own idea, but rather a divine inspiration. She stood up, and with a heartfelt "Thank you," whispered to Athena, she vanished.

*****

Chapter 13 - The Quest (Not That One, a Different One)

*****

Perhaps it was being in Athens that gave her the idea for her first stop, but when she reappeared, she was within the hallowed confines of the Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards. Specifically, she was in one of the dormitory rooms. Even more specifically, she reappeared next to Orion's bed.

A scroll that looked very familiar was lying on a nearby dresser next to a small strip of parchment that had been twisted once, then glued together to form a loop with a kink in it. Her attention was drawn once more to that scroll... With a start she realized that Artemis, despite the other problems facing them, had carried through with her planned vengeance against Ares.

It was all she could do to keep from blushing when she turned to face the bard sleeping beside her. Then she did blush. He was still asleep...and nude...and obviously in the middle of a very nice dream. She crouched next to the bed and gently touched him on the shoulder. "Orion?" she whispered.

"Of course I respect you Gabrielle," he muttered, still dreaming, "in fact I respect you even more..." He groaned and rolled over, twitching from the images running wild in his unconscious mind. "do that thing with your tongue again..." he moaned.

Gabrielle blushed even brighter this time. It was one thing to know a boy - she looked again, no, he'd definitely grown into a man - liked her, it was quite another to be aware of exactly how much he liked her. She was a widow, so she wasn't entirely ignorant of such things, but one night didn't make her exactly experienced, either - even if it did disqualify her as a Hestian. Some candidate for a love goddess I am if a man's dream makes me react like this, she thought. "Orion," she asked again, louder this time.

With a snort, he jerked awake. "Wha..." He stared into Gabrielle's eyes, his eyes half closed with slumber and sleepy arousal. "Oh, hi Gabrielle," he muttered, still half asleep. Suddenly realizing he was awake - in more ways then one - he gasped and hurriedly covered himself with a blanket.

He looked down. Eyes widening, he abruptly realized that the thin blanket the school provided was inadequate coverage since it was tenting up noticeably a little further down the bed. Blushing, he quickly sat up and hunched forward, hiding the rampant excitement that refused to go away despite his embarrassment. "Um, hello."

Resisting the urge to tease him, Gabrielle pretended to be ignorant of what was happening with him. "Hi Orion, it's nice to see you again." She blushed again, and felt like smacking herself. Bad girl! Don't tease... That was not what I meant to say.

He blushed a bit at that, too. He had wanted to see her again for a long time, but... seeing her like this was a bit much, especially after that wonderful dream... Ooh, and what was she doing in that armor... that leather... he licked his lips, then shook the distraction off with an effort, and said, "Um, what are you doing here? Where's Xena?"

"She's not here," she began shortly. "Look, Orion, I'm sorry to have to wake you up like this, but I really need some help."

"Sure, anything you need," he responded, finally beginning to recover his composure as the bloodflow gradually began to reverse from his lower half. "What's wrong?"

Gabrielle rose and began pacing nervously, her cloak fluttering about her legs. Orion's eyes traced her outline as she walked. "It's a bit complicated to explain everything, but... in your studies, have you ever come across anything about turning a god into a mortal?"

Orion was taken aback. That was not what he had expected her to ask. A room, some money, something along those lines, not... He scratched his head idly, and answered, "Well, yeah."

He'd always thought the phrase, "her eyes glowed with delight," was just an expression - until Gabrielle spun to face him. "Really?" she cried out, joyfully.

"Sure," he slowly said, staring openly at the green light burning in her eyes. "Ares losing his sword, Hades losing his helmet. You sent me those scrolls yourself."

Her face fell, and her eyes stopped glowing. "Oh. No, what I meant was, how to turn a god without a special object into a mortal." She noticed his stare, and blushed. "See, I kind of... accidentally ate some ambrosia," she hurriedly finished.

"You're a goddess?" he exclaimed, eyes opening wider as he now stared at her for a different reason.

"For now," she reluctantly admitted, "but I'm trying to get rid of it. Unfortunately the gods won't help me."

"But..." his brain went into shutdown mode, stressed beyond limits - which wasn't very difficult considering how early it was in the morning. He went silent and could only stare as her words slowly repeated themselves over and over again in his mind.

Recognizing the stunned look on his face thanks to the glaze covering his eyes, Gabrielle tried to jolt him out of it with an appeal for aid. "Look, will you do me a favor? Check the library, see what you can find? If I don't find a way that doesn't involve the gods by tomorrow morning I'll... well, I'll still be a goddess, I just won't... quite... be me." She rested a perfect hand on his arm, and his brain jolted awake as he felt his excitement instantly reassert itself.

"S...S...sure," he stammered, overwhelmed. Gabrielle a goddess? And she'd touched him! He abruptly recalled the stories - specifically the ones that said the gods could read minds - and blushed furiously. Certain acrobatic elements of his dream began running through his head again despite his efforts to quell them, and he nervously drew the blanket up higher. Stories about the wrath of the gods and their punishments were even more common than stories of their sexual excesses. "I...I...I'll get right on it," he promised.

"Thanks," she smiled, ignoring the images he was unconsciously broadcasting to her only with a great deal of effort. She hurriedly vanished in a flare of green light - eager to get busy with her search for a cure, and away from the flood of erotic imagery. If that was what I did to Aphrodite, no wonder she was so interested... I know Orion's a bard, but who knew he could be so creative?

Orion swiftly got dressed in case she decided to return. Maybe the goddess Gabrielle would forgive him if he could find something that would help her... He was just reaching for his boots when he noticed the unfamiliar scroll next to his new logic puzzle on the dresser. Curious, he unrolled it to find the title, but didn't see an author's name listed below the title inscription. "Hmmm..." It was in Gabrielle's handwriting though, he noted. "Wha..." his pants abruptly felt very tight as he sank back onto his bed and hurriedly began to read.

*****

Chapter 14 - Friends in Low Places

*****

Autolycus leaned back in bed and sighed in delight. Life was good. The previous evening had been spent in the company of a lovely young woman of dubious virtue - but great skill... a brilliant theft was scheduled for later tonight... and the local law enforcement had no idea who was in town. It doesn't get much better than this.

The cloaked woman appearing in his room in a flash of green light did take him a bit aback, but they didn't call him (dramatic pause while he stroked his mustache) the King of Thieves for nothing. "Well, hello..." he said slowly. Much to his own disgust, a small hint of trepidation was audible in his voice despite his towering self-confidence.

"Hi, Autolycus," Gabrielle responded happily, rearranging the cloak to cover herself more completely before turning to face him, happy that the embarrassing incident with Orion wasn't going to be repeated. His eyes roamed over the shape of her body through the thin covering of the cloak, and she reevaluated her thought - at least the naked part wasn't going to be repeated.

"Gabrielle, this is...quite a surprise, to say the least." He looked her over more carefully - the rest of her, this time. "What brings you here to the lovely city of Ainos?"

"You."

"Well, I'm flattered, naturally but...Xena would kill me if I tried anything, so I'm afraid I'll have to decline." He was smugness personified as he basked in his own desirability.

Breathing deeply and slowly counting to ten, she restrained herself from throwing a fireball... barely. Men can be so irritating sometimes. "No, Autolycus. I need your professional help," she explained.

"Oh, I'm always professional," he grinned saucily, sitting up in bed and patting the mattress next to him in invitation. Seeing her lack of amusement, he sighed. "I was only teasing. Seriously, what brings you here... like that... in that..." his eyes roamed her body again, lingering in predictable locations, especially in the small areas where the cloak gaped, revealing the leather and bare flesh underneath, "outfit?"

Rolling her eyes at his antics, she pulled a chair near the bed and sat down, pulling the cloak more tightly around her. "Look, Autolycus, you're the king of thieves, so you're familiar with most of the mystic amulets, trinkets, sacred objects, artifacts, and... and... magic stuff that's around, right?"

"Well, I wouldn't know that much about things like that..."

Gabrielle's expression hardened slightly. "So you just happened to hear of the hiding place of the long-lost Dagger of Helios, not to mention the Chronostone? And I suppose your being in Ainos wouldn't have anything to do with the magic diamond that's hidden in the catacombs under the city?"

"Oh no," he denied smoothly. "It's purely a coincidence. I'm just here for the lovely scenery. Beautiful rolling hills. Lots of birds - beautiful plumage. Besides...didn't I hear you and Xena took the magic diamond from Aphrodite? Something about a fish, and that new constellation that appeared in the sky a few months back..."

"That was the mystic diamond, not the magic diamond...as you well know." She paused to reconsider her words, then began again. "Look, I'll level with you, alright? I need some help. I accidentally ate some ambrosia, and I need to find some way to turn myself back into a mortal. The gods won't help me, so I need to find an... an object or some magical thing to do it for me. Have you heard of anything remotely like that I could maybe use to cure me?"

"Really? You're a goddess now?" he considered that fact momentarily. "Gabrielle the goddess. Goddess of... Of... Of what?"

She sighed in frustration. "That's just it; if I can't fix this before sunrise tomorrow, I'll be forced to assume an office, and then... well, it's too complicated to explain everything again right now. I just can't face it. Now, have you ever heard of anything like that?"

The thief scratched his cheek meditatively. "Can't say that I have. Have you spoken to Nebula?"

The image in his mind helped her identify who he meant. "The pirate? Iolaus' friend?"

"Right. She knows more about the more... esoteric objects than I do; ever since she lost her ship and crew the last time, she's been almost fanatical about finding out things about the gods and mystic artifacts. Pestering bards, looting libraries, interrogating priests... Paranoid, that woman is."

"Okay," she said slowly, thinking carefully about where to locate the woman. "I'll just go see her."

Autolycus was struck by another thought. If Gabrielle had eaten ambrosia, but wait... she was alone... she was almost never alone. Xena watched over her better than an army of bodyguards ever could, despite their frequent travels in dangerous territory. "So where's Xena? I'd have thought..."

"She's here in Thrace, but she's with Hercules right now." She considered several options, then asked, "Would you like to go see them? I could give you a lift, drop you off..." her voice rose in pitch slightly at the end as she made the offer.

Autolycus looked briefly interested, but his face fell as he remembered the contract he'd undertaken. He sighed in disappointment. "No. I probably should, but I have something I need to take care of first."

"The diamond?" Gabrielle asked with a slight, secretive smile. "How are you planning to get past the snakes?"

"Snakes?" he asked, in a voice slightly higher than usual.

"Yup, big ones," she smirked.

"I hate snakes." He shook his head in disgust. "Did you ever hear about the time I saved Herc from this really huge snake?"

"Sure," she responded, smiling. "Though from what I heard it was..."

"Details, details, they're not important," he waved away her comments before she could bring some irritating little facts into the conversation. "Maybe I'll just come back later," he thought aloud.

Gabrielle just smiled wider, then set something on his bed. "Don't worry about it. I made a short stop off before I came to see you."

Staring down at the glittering stone, Autolycus muttered, "Aw, now where's the fun in that?"

"It's okay," Gabrielle nodded several times, her expression turning melodramatically martyred. "I can put it back if you..."

"No, no," he reassured her hastily, picking it up and looking deeply into the flawless depths. "After you went to all the trouble, I wouldn't dream of being so impolite as to refuse your generous gift. I try never to refuse a lady." He looked at her and asked, almost plaintively, "There really were snakes?"

"Big... poisonous... mean," she emphasized slowly.

"Well, that explains why no one's ever gotten the diamond before," he muttered, hiding the stone somewhere with a dexterous move of one wrist, "that scroll never said anything about..." Looking up, his expression cleared. Rubbing his hands together, he smiled brightly. "Alright. So you'll take me to see Xena and Herc? Can I get dressed first?"

"Sure," she grinned, eyeing him openly, returning his look from earlier, and even brushing an imaginary mustache so he couldn't miss the irony.

"Do you mind?" he asked, gesturing down at his blanket covered body.

"Not at all, go right ahead," she responded easily, making no move to leave.

"Alright, alright," he finally said, exasperated. "I'm sorry I was ogling you. Are you happy now?"

"Yes." She faded from sight and he swiftly dressed. He was a little suspicious of her sudden absence - and grew more so when he faded from sight at the exact instant he was fully dressed and had picked up the last of his belongings, but he still had no actual proof she had actually spied on him. "Little vixen is getting too clever," he muttered, appearing next to the heroes' campsite.

Gabrielle's musical laughter faded out even as he faded in.

*****

Chapter 15 - Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Nectar

*****

Still giggling with amusement from her teasing of Autolycus, Gabrielle faded in on board a ship. It was with great relief that she confirmed that godhood conferred total immunity to seasickness (Xena had found that out while she was trapped in Callisto's body, and was travelling with the mortal Ares) - She was a little more comfortable on ships now than she used to be, but still... She never wanted to reexperience the craving she'd felt for raw squid tentacles again - especially now, when she could summon a whole twitching bowl of them with a simple thought.

Shivering, she examined her surroundings. She was in a small cabin, almost spartan in its lack of decoration, which was readily explained by the continuous rocking motion that tilted the room and would have dislodged any major decoration. As it was, all that occurred in the nearly bare cabin was the creaking of timbers and a small flutter as maps and parchments rocked in their holders. She was still looking around the cabin when the sword was abruptly thrust through her stomach.

Gabrielle was shocked. She hadn't felt anyone approach, and the sensation actually stung... It didn't hurt, actually, but it still wasn't a pleasant sensation. She could actually feel her flesh slither across the metal of the blade. A flicker of memory diverted her attention momentarily. How could Callisto have stood to stab herself like this - even for a demonstration?

Shaking off the momentary reverie, she looked down at the unadorned, utilitarian hilt sticking out of her abdomen, then slowly followed up along the dark-skinned arm holding it with her eyes up across a tattooed biceps until she was looking her attacker in the face. "Nebula?" she asked curiously, though she knew who it was.

To say the pirate was surprised was an understatement. Typically people, once impaled on her blade, did not politely ask her name. "Yes?"

"Hi, I'm Gabrielle," she began, ignoring the blade through her belly and speaking easily in a polite and friendly tone. "I'm one of Iolaus' friends."

"Oh? Has he decided to come be my slave yet?" It was a strangely surreal experience, having a friendly conversation with the woman impaled by her sword.

"Um, no." she responded. Slave? Gabrielle thought curiously. She ignored her curiosity and got right to the point. "Anyway, Autolycus suggested I come see you."

"That lying snake? Well, no matter what our mutual fr... acquaintances may have told you, I don't like stowaways..." she trailed off as Gabrielle backed away from her, pulling the sword out of her body. It wasn't the blade slipping out of her that disturbed Nebula - she'd seen that countless times; it was the fact that the bloodless wound closed itself up as though it had never existed that took her by surprise.

Gabrielle smiled slightly as she watched the pirate stare at the bloodless blade in her hand and her own uninjured stomach. "Well, I'm not a stowaway... I'm a goddess. At the moment anyway."

"O...kay. So what does a goddess want with Nebula?" she asked slowly, sheathing her blade. She didn't flinch, and remained standing proudly with a hint of arrogance. If she wants to deal with Nebula, she'll have to take me as I am, the pirate thought firmly.

"Simple." Gabrielle responded. "Autolycus said you were the one to ask if an artifact exists that can transform a god into a mortal."

"He did, huh?" the woman sank onto her bunk and stared curiously at the short goddess. She was nothing like how she'd thought a goddess would be. Gabrielle simply nodded as the pirate continued to stare at her.

After a bit, Nebula shook off the unreality of the situation, and actually thought about the question she'd been posed. "Unfortunately...I can't think of anything like that. There are a few items that are supposed to tell where a piece of ambrosia is, but that's not what you need. Although..."

"What?"

"There's supposed to be a cave, somewhere in Thrace, where the gods buried some of the titans after turning them to stone, following the war of the gods... supposedly there are some spells stored there to bring them back to life, and turn them to stone, and some other related things... maybe one of those spells would work?" She looked curiously at the goddess.

The goddess shook her head in response. "I've been there - a few years ago actually. Those spells only affect the titans that are buried there... Besides, I'd need to be a virgin to cast them." She abruptly blushed; she hadn't meant to say that aloud.

Nebula raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Nothing needed to be said to that, actually.

Visibly disappointed, Gabrielle sighed heavily. "Thanks anyway, Nebula. I appreciate the help." She turned and was about to teleport away when Nebula's voice stopped her.

"Hey, girl... goddess, whatever?"

"Yes?" she responded curiously.

"You going to see Autolycus and Iolaus anytime soon?"

"Sure...?"

"You tell Autolycus that he still owes me 2000 dinars for Samothrace, and tell Iolaus I look forward to getting him into bondage."

Gabrielle blushed slightly at the blunt suggestiveness of her tone, then vanished in a flash of misty green light.

*****

End of Part 5

*****


This page was last updated: September 1, 1998

This page was really last updated : January 22, 2003

Continued - Parts 6 - 7


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