My Lord: By the Fates

by

Mayt

Mayt_fanfiction@sbcglobal.net

Background: This is a Conqueror story. It follows the events of My Lord and My Lord: Solstice.

The following is a list and brief description (with spoilers) of charters found in My Lord (ML) and My Lord: Solstice.

Xena of Amphipolis, Conqueror of Greece

Gabrielle of Poteidaia

The Conqueror's Family (ML)

Cyrene: Mother of Xena

Lyceus: Deceased brother of Xena

Toris: Disgraced brother

Lila: Sister

Hercuba: Mother

Herodotus: Father

The Conqueror's Household (ML)

Dalius: The Healer

Lacia: Twelve-year old slave (Solstice)

Landis: Male servant

Leah: Slave / Gabrielle's roommate

Makia: Cook

Mansel: Male servant

Pathas: Male servant

Targon: The Administrator

Anton: Senior Guard took Gabrielle to kitchen after Xena killed Gaugan (ML)

Brogan: Escorted Gabrielle when she was taken into custody by Osric. (ML)

Cantus: Gabrielle mentioned that she stitched a wound (ML)

Endres: Gabrielle stitched a cut (ML)

Geldpac: Seasoned warrior (ML)

Hamish: Escorted Gabrielle when she was taken into custody by Osric . (ML)

Samuel: A Queen's Guardsman (Solstice)

Sentas (Lieut): Brash seasoned officer (ML)

Stephen (Captain): Royal Guardsman (ML)

Talas: Traitor, killed by Xena (ML)

Tavis (Lieut): Seasoned officer (ML)

Trevor: Royal Guardsman assigned Gabrielle's security. (ML)

Xanthus: Guard palace gates (ML)

Curan: Tried to rape Gabrielle. She killed him. (ML)

Inis: Gabrielle's lover during Gabrielle's estrangement from Xena (ML)

Lieut. Osric: Took Gabrielle into custody for killing a soldier. Later killed. Killer assumed to be Inis. (ML)

Persi: Repair the Conqueror's armor. (ML)

Bevan: Xena conqueror him to win Corinth & Greece (ML)

Caesar - Rome (ML)

Lao Ma - Chin (ML)

Okal - Persia (ML)

Draco: Warlord - took Gabrielle into slavery (ML)

Halan: Leader of Eastern raiders (ML)

Leyan: Corrupt leader of the Persian Army (ML)
Montavous: Greek accomplice of Halan (ML)

Castan: Mentioned as meeting with other Lords at beginning of My Lord.

Stasis: Mentioned as meeting with other Lords at beginning of My Lord.

Vacaou: Sent assassins to kill Xena after she defeated Caesar. Xena killed him to reclaim her throne. (ML)

Gaugan

Ridel: Gaugan's son

Broan: Story requestor (Solstice)

Calph: Peacemaker at inn (Solstice)

Sastro: Wood carver (Solstice)

Clotho (maiden): spun wool when person born

Lachesis (mature women - mother): Measure out the length of their lives on a string

Atropos (crone): Cut the string, determining when their lives end.

Sitting underneath a large yew tree, the young bard wrote of her life in a recently begun journal. The journal of bound blank parchment lay on her lap. She held a quill in her hand. Beside her rested a set of quills, an inkpot and a finely stitched leather traveling case to safely secure her belongings. All were a belated Solstice gift. The case had been made by her lover's own hands. It bore the Conqueror's seal, which mirrored the medallion the bard wore around her neck and the ring that dressed her left hand.

The sun was setting. The horizon seemed in flames while the sky above her revealed the brightest stars in the coming twilight. Soon she would move to the nearby cave where camp had been set.

By its very simplicity the day had been extraordinary. In the hazy light of dawn she and her Lord rode side-by-side out of the palace gates over the cobblestone streets through the just-waking city of Corinth. It was only after they left the center of government behind them that Gabrielle observed the transformation of the Conqueror of Greece to Xena of Amphipolis.

Xena's relaxed, playful nature was a priceless gift to Gabrielle -- one hard to come by within the public realm of their lives, but which showed itself in their private suite. She was certain that this getaway would give her the opportunity to bring forth her free-spirited partner. Refocusing upon the parchment the bard dipped her quill into the inkpot as her thoughts took form.

Gabrielle raised her eyes to see Xena standing by the cave entrance. Xena held up her catch of two large rabbits. Gabrielle waved. Xena mirrored the gesture before entering the cave. The bard returned to her writing. Soon she heard Xena's familiar footsteps.

Xena knelt beside her. "Hey."

Gabrielle smiled a warm welcome. "Hi. Looks like you had good luck."

"I have them roasting."

"You cook, too!" Gabrielle quipped.

"I can put meat on a spit. Don't know if that counts as cooking."

"Depends if the rabbits end up burnt on the outside and raw on the inside."

Xena gave her lover a wary look. "Maybe you should go look."

"Oh, please…" Gabrielle made a move to rise.

Xena laughed. "I'm kidding."

Gabrielle showed her doubt.

"Really!"

Gabrielle leaned back. "I'm not worried. Makia was generous in filling our saddlebags. We won't starve."

Surprising the bard, Xena stole a kiss. Gabrielle wrapped her arms around her lover's neck, pulling her close. They fell to a place where cares are abandoned and pleasure has dominion. Gently Xena released Gabrielle.

The younger woman observed, "You are brash, My Lord."

"I meant no offense."

"None taken."

Xena's smile was brilliant. "A request then."

Gabrielle was mock sober. "I grant you a royal audience."

Xena caressed Gabrielle's cheek. "Be my bard tonight."

"You shall have me tell you a story?"

"Or two or three."

Gabrielle echoed happily. "Or two or three."

Xena patted Gabrielle's leg with undisguised concern. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. I'm not half as stiff as I thought I would be." She covered Xena's hand with her own. "How about you?"

"Great. It's been a good day."

Gabrielle voiced a lesson learned early in her observation of her Lord. "You really are very easy to please."

"What more do I need?" Xena was guileless. "What more could anyone ask for?"

Once again Gabrielle was struck by her lover’s easy mood. She looked up. "It should be a clear night."

"We can watch the stars from the cave mouth."

Gabrielle was pleased. "I'd like that."

"I'm going to check on the rabbits." Xena bounced onto her feet and jogged back to the cave.

Gabrielle watched intently. She could not recall ever seeing Xena happier. She sent a prayer to whatever Gods were listening. 'If I could, I'd give her the freedom she knows only in her dreams and in the rare precious days like today.'

Xena was laughing wholeheartedly as Gabrielle completed a story regarding the amorous affection of a dull-minded donkey for a goat. "Did you hear that story or make it up?"

"Does it matter?" Gabrielle smiled.

"I just wondered if I know either the goat or the donkey."

Gabrielle kissed Xena on the cheek. "Love can come unexpectedly."

"I've learned anything is possible." Xena quieted. "When you came to Corinth, my life was turned upside down."

"Do you have regrets?" Gabrielle had yet to take complete measures of the impact she had upon Xena. Only with time would her solitary lover reveal herself.

Xena was contrite. "I sent you away… I know I hurt you when I did."

Gabrielle had not expected the sharp shift in Xena's humor. "I understand why you did."

Xena averted her eyes.

"Xena." Gabrielle gently reached out and turned Xena's chin toward her. "There were things that changed me while I lived in the east garrison… I needed that time away from… Corinth. If I hadn't gone away I wouldn't be as sure of who I am."

"You've forgiven me?"

"There is nothing to forgive. I've learned that there are reasons for the things you do. I trust you… I trust that you will always do what you believe is best." Gabrielle tried to lighten mood. "Look, I trusted you to take me away from Corinth and I have been well rewarded with this day." She kissed Xena gently. "It has been a good day, Xena, and I am hoping you will give me a good night."

Xena had come to know life only within a world that included Gabrielle. She could trace back her days since Gabrielle entered her household and still she could not account for how she had come to this place and time. Xena was grateful for her life. She was grateful for having the means to give herself to Gabrielle without qualification. Her reward was an invisible bond that melded their life forces into one. It gave Xena a sense of wholeness that healed much of the brokenness she carried within her since Cortese attacked Amphipolis. She could feel the ever-strengthening bond when she found herself yearning for it and concentrated. She could also feel their bond during moments such as this, when no effort was necessary, when it was as much a part of them as life itself. The momentary turmoil of the past brought forth to the present receded and Xena reclaimed her peace. She offered Gabrielle a tender smile. "Gabrielle, we will give each other a good night."

At one time, Lord Judais prided himself on his rugged good looks. Time had marked him. A generation older than his Sovereign, his handsome features brought a measure of comfort. And yet, to his chagrin, he could not deny that though equal to the Conqueror in height, he carried a good two stones of weight more than her. They walked side-by-side across the palace courtyard, keeping an easy pace and equally easy conversation.

Having taken a morning ride, Gabrielle guided Geld, her unremarkably named gelding toward the stables. From the rear she recognized Xena, but not her lover's companion. She decided to satisfy her curiosity and bid the two a good day. She trotted Geld forward, well aware that Xena would hear Geld's advance, and with uncanny accuracy identify both the equine and his rider.

Gabrielle called out brightly. "My Lord."

Xena paused and turned, a smile unconsciously present. She stepped forward meeting Gabrielle at the courtyard center. As she walked, Xena kept an observant, appreciative gaze upon her partner. Once again, she was impressed with Gabrielle's masterful horsemanship. Xena would have confidently wagered that the most gifted oracle in the realm could not have foreseen the day when the younger woman would hold herself so naturally in a saddle. Gabrielle's intelligence, never in doubt, had become her dedicated mentor's greatest challenge. Xena took great effort to engage Gabrielle's insatiable hunger for knowledge and skills beyond her already formidable talents as a bard and healer. Xena correlated Gabrielle's blossoming to her acceptance, that improbable as it might seem, she was the Queen of Greece. Xena called out to her lover, "Hello."

Gabrielle leaned forward against the saddle horn. "May I have the pleasure of your company at mid-day meal?"

"I think that can be arranged." Xena looked a glance and waved Judais to her. "Gabrielle, you haven't met Lord Judais."

Judais bowed. "Your Majesty, it is a pleasure to finally meet you."

There was something familiar about the man that Gabrielle could not immediately place. She felt an inexplicable discomfort in his presence. "Good day to you, Sir. Will you be in Corinth long?"

"A fortnight and then I must return to Serdica."

Gabrielle's blood ran cold. She maintained a pleasant countenance as she continued to query. "Is that home?"

The noble was pleased with the Queen's attentiveness. It confirmed her good name. "Yes. My family has extensive holdings."

Gabrielle had heard enough. The warmth of her voice was displaced by a cool inflection. "I bid you a safe journey." She sat up, her posture rigid.

Judais stepped forward. "But, Your Majesty, I was hoping to see you at Court."

Xena was puzzled by the change in Gabrielle. She interjected. "Our Queen attends Court sparingly."

"Tis a pity." Judais directed a warm invitation to both. "Would you consider sharing a private meal in my chamber while I am in residence in the palace?"

Gabrielle was quick and curt in her response. "For myself, that will not be possible. I cannot speak for our Sovereign."

Xena's was bewildered and concerned by Gabrielle's rejection of Judais' gracious invitation. It was not like the bard to withhold hospitality. "We will see what my schedule will allow." Xena would seek further understanding when alone with Gabrielle.

Gabrielle solicited an end to the interview. "If you will excuse me, I'm expected elsewhere."

"Your Majesty." Judais accepted the Queen's dismissal with no animosity, but like his Sovereign he felt a tension that had no apparent warrant.

Xena stepped up for a private word. She placed her hand on Gabrielle's leg. "I love you."

Gabrielle took Xena's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "I will wait for you."

Xena nodded and stepped away. She watched Gabrielle ride to the stables. As she did, she felt a vague unease. She did not like the feeling.

Judais took the liberty to approach the Conqueror. "I hope I did not offend Queen Gabrielle."

Xena placed a hand on the noble's shoulder. She would not have him blame himself. "I am not in a position to give you an explanation. But, be assured, you did nothing wrong."

Xena and Makia arrived in the Royal suite jointly, their paths having crossed within the long palace corridors. Stepping aside, the Conqueror allowed Makia to enter before her. She peered over the cook's shoulder.

"Smells good." She whispered in the elder's ear. "I know that blend of spices. Our Queen favors them in her cooking. By whose hand was this meal made?"

Makia was forceful in her reply. "I do not tell you who to allow into your Court. So, don't go thinking you need to know who has been in my kitchen."

Xena chuckled. "Cook, what have I done to deserve your cat claws?"

"Don't be smart. You will spoil Gab… the Queen's heart's desire." Makia place the covered dishes on the dining table.

Xena rested her hand gently on Makia's arm. "I will be good."

"Be grateful," the elder advised sincerely.

Xena grew serious. "There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank the Fates for her."

Makia studied her Sovereign. Truth had been spoken. She took up her tray and gave Xena a genuine smile. "Very well. Now don't touch a thing or I shall take my wooden spoon to you."

"Yes, Ma'am." Xena made a show of raising her hands.

Gabrielle entered from the bedroom. "There you are." She took note of her lover's feigned deference. "What's this?"

Xena quipped. "In this household I seem to rule nothing."

Makia shook her head. She wished the Conqueror's self-deprecating humor was not limited to the confines of the Royal suite and brought forward only in the Queen's presence or within the context of discussing the Queen. She observed the gentle exchange of regard between the two royals, and suddenly felt like an intruder. She bowed slightly. "Enjoy your meal, My Lady."

"And what of I, Makia?" Xena solicited.

Standing at the open door, the cook addressed the Conqueror. "Your Majesty, given your company, I have no doubt that you will enjoy your meal. Unfortunately, the same cannot always be said for My Lady."

The cook departed in the wake of Xena's laughter.

Xena directed her jest toward her young Queen. "You have corrupted my staff, no one more than cook."

Assured of her position, Gabrielle approached, taking the Conqueror into a warm embrace. "It is only Makia and she knows how to keep a secret."

"What secret?" Xena challenged, lowering her voice to an intimidating growl.

Gabrielle looked up to the gentle, open countenance of the warrior. "I must be mistaken, My Lord."

"No, you're not. But, I don't blame you for the taint upon my reputation. It has been my mother's doing. She and Makia have traded too many stories. Cook now sees me as a rampageous child in need of a firm hand."

"We need to visit Cyrene sometime soon," Gabrielle threatened slyly.

"For more stories, no doubt."

Gabrielle laughed. "Are you hungry?"

"Famished."

"Come then." With that said, Gabrielle took Xena's hand and guided her to the table.

They ate enjoying the very intimate quality of their privately shared company. Gabrielle had prepared a meal of venison stew, an assortment of cut vegetables sprinkled with oil and vinegar, rich brown rye bread, and fruit as a dessert.

Sipping her tea, Gabrielle followed Xena's telling of Judais' visit, a courtesy to the recently positioned noble.

"How did you come to know Lord Judais?"

Xena continued her casual speech. "He was with my campaign to win the northern provinces. Judais knew the land better than I did. Made a difference."

"So, he returned to Serdica after you won Greece?" Gabrielle asked though she knew otherwise.

"No. Life was hard on him. He lost his wife and son to raiders. His daughter was of age and fell in love with a good man from the east. After they joined they moved to be closer to his family in Byzantium. Judais couldn't bear being away from his daughter and followed, placing his holdings in trust with his brother. Byzantium has been in drought for the past two years. Judais decided to return to Serdica to vouchsafe his daughter and her family."

Gabrielle was thoughtful. She now understood why she had never known the noble. "Did Judais travel alone to Corinth?"

"His younger brother Tassos and two nephews, Stavros and Tracate are with him."

Gabrielle looked into her tea mug, concentrating on the placid liquid, willing herself to project a calmness she did not feel. Xena watched Gabrielle. For the second time in the day, she found her partner's tense spirit disquieting.

Gabrielle turned a distant gaze to Xena. "Are they all staying a fortnight?"

"Depends on when Jared returns."

"Jared?" Gabrielle could not imagine the General's role. He usually kept an arm's length from regional politics.

Xena grimaced. "Stavros and Tracate are looking to ingratiate themselves into my favor by proving their military prowess. They are seeking commissions into the 2^nd Army."

"What does General Dymas say?" Gabrielle knew, like Jared, the balance of Greece's generals did not suffer political appointments well.

"He's leery. The nephews are not his favorites. Dymas abides by my philosophy of keeping the enemy within one's sight. They might not be the enemy but they could be trouble."

"What do you think?" Gabrielle found herself in the exceptional position of knowing more about the subjects than Xena, and thus being able to assess the warrior's judgment.

Xena took a bite of venison. Gabrielle patiently waited for the Conqueror to explore her thoughts and make a determination.

The warrior nodded, then answered. "I respect Judais. From what I'm told his nephews are nothing more than well-clothed brutes. Still, under the right circumstances they could be of some use to me."

Gabrielle was somewhat surprised. "You haven't met them?"

"No. If Jared thinks they are worth the bother, I'll give them an audience."

"So, the commissions are Jared's decision?"

"If he feels strongly, one way or the other, I won't go against him."

Gabrielle's ire seeped out. "You don't allow brutes into the Guard. Why would you consider then as officers in your army?"

Xena captured and held Gabrielle's challenging gaze. She responded firmly, but without malice. "You know better than most that my standards differ between the Royal Guard and the regular army."

Gabrielle observed. "It's a convenient time to enter the military. We're at peace. There isn't much chance that they will have to prove themselves in battle."

"True."

Gabrielle fell silent.

Xena placed her hand over her Queen's. "A lesson in military politics. Is this why you invited me to dine with you?"

Gabrielle felt Xena's warmth radiate through her. It was warmth that promised safety, more so love. She chose to reveal her newly laid plan, one composed in response to Judais and his family's presence in Corinth. She bitterly regretted the consequences of it. "Would you mind terribly if I go to Megara for a while?"

The request was unexpected. Xena noted the singular, there was no invitation implied. Her hand gently tightened over the bard's. "Gabrielle, what's wrong?"

Gabrielle was not dishonest in her answer. However, she failed to reveal the whole truth. "I'm still a peasant girl from Poteidaia. Sometimes I want a quieter, simpler life than what I have here. Is that wrong of me?"

"Of course not." Xena could not fault Gabrielle for seeking a reprieve from the endless demands of her position. "When do you want to leave?"

Shyly, Gabrielle asked. "Is the day after tomorrow too soon?"

"No, not at all." Xena was conciliatory. "I will miss you."

Gabrielle took note, and reached for a good in her actions. "Maybe you could come to me after you finish this business with Judais?"

Though heartened, Xena sought assurance. "Do you want me to?"

"Yes, very much."

Xena was relieved. Whatever troubled Gabrielle did not reflect upon her. "Have you plans for this afternoon?"

"Nothing that can't wait."

Xena got to her feet and went to the door. She opened it and spoke a few words to Samuel. She returned extending her hand to Gabrielle. Gabrielle took it and stood. Xena lifted Gabrielle into her arms and carried her to their bedroom. She closed the door with her foot. Her eyes fell to her partner, resting small within her grasp, eyes closed. "Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle opened her eyes; a faraway look had taken residence.

Xena would not assume. "By the fireplace or our bed?"

Always given the choice, always holding the power to decide when they would make love, Gabrielle gave Xena her answer by raising herself up and giving her lover a kiss. Gabrielle's heart was breaking. She needed Xena's touch. She needed to feel the gentle warmth, the salve upon wounds that opened and bled at unexpected moments, wounds that Xena had come to sense with astonishing accuracy.

Xena allowed the kiss to touch her deeply. By its tentativeness she knew that Gabrielle needed their gentlest lovemaking. Xena had no clue of what had provoked the cut. She had no power to ward off the hurt. Once inflicted, she did have the power to alleviate a fraction of the pain.

The Conqueror worked quietly at her desk. Only the sound of the crackling fire disturbed the evening silence. She found Gabrielle's absence easier to bear if she kept focused on trade agreements and other reading during this time of day normally reserved for her partner.

She responded to a knock on her chamber door. "Come."

Jared entered. "My Liege."

Xena was genuinely happy to see the General. "Jared."

She came round her desk and embraced him, giving him a robust pat on the back. "Good to see you. How was your trip?"

Jared was in excellent spirits. "Good. Kasen sends his regards to both you and Gabrielle."

"So, the eastern garrison is still standing."

"Yes," Jared smiled wryly, "And they have petitioned for a royal visit. They miss their Queen."

"Not I?" Xena smirked in good humor. "They had Gabrielle all to themselves for nine moons. It spoiled them rotten."

"Not that we haven't been spoiled having her here." Still early in the evening, he looked toward the bedroom chamber. "Where is the lass?"

"Megara."

Jared did not hide his disappointment. "Doing what?"

"A rest." Xena tenaciously held to the prospect of an imminent reunion with the bard, one Jared's arrival would expedite. "I will join her after we're done with Judais."

"Judais is here?" Jared knew the noble well.

"He's looking for a favor. Two of his nephews are asking for commissions to the 2^nd Army."

"I don't know them, do I?"

Xena leaned against her desk, stretching out her legs comfortably. "No, I don't think you do - Stavros and Tracate."

"Tracate?" A shadow crossed the General’s countenance

Xena took note. "You do know him?"

Jared hesitated; projecting a doubt he did not feel, seeking not to betray a confidence. "If he's the same man…"

"What?" Xena's unconsciously tightened her grip upon her desk.

The General was resolute. "I don't want him anywhere near our armies."

"Why?" The Conqueror's senses sharpened.

"It's personal." Jared sought to close the Conqueror's query, all too aware of his limited ability to deceive her.

"Jared." The Conqueror's penetrating gaze proved her dissatisfaction. She would be equal to Jared's attempt to cloak a truth.

Jared chose to rely upon their friendship. "Xena, I don't ask you for much. I'm asking now. I don't want Tracate in Corinth and I damn well don't want to give him a commission."

All in the room stilled. Though Xena trusted Jared with her life, it was still difficult for her to knowingly consign herself to ignorance especially when the circumstances could impact the realm. Given Jared's disposition, she doubted a command would serve her. If Jared had been willing to speak, he would already have done so. "Very well, my friend. I trust you have a good reason."

Jared sighed in relief. "I do."

Megara was a retreat Xena inherited when she defeated Bevan for Corinth. Situated on the shores of the Myrtoum Sea, it was a brief ride or walk to the village proper. Cliff walls, well suited for sentry, strategically bracketed the site. The compound was comprised of four structures. Inland from the central courtyard stood a thirty-stall stable, a barn and the soldiers’ quarters. The beach house stood alone by the seashore. It had a large central room for entertaining, a smaller meeting room to one side commandeered by the Conqueror for transacting the government of Greece, a kitchen that Makia would find no fault in, three bedrooms and smaller, adjacent servants’ quarters.

Having left Argo in the trusted hands of a Queen's Guardsman, Xena walked past the courtyard toward the sea. The Guardsman directed her to the beach. At the crest of sand stood Samuel.

The Guardsman saluted the Conqueror. "My Liege."

"Good day, Sam. Where is our Queen?"

Samuel pointed toward the south stretch of coast. "There, by the cove."

Xena peered down the distance, seeing the small form of her lover. Her ready smile broadened. "Tell Trevor I'm here."

"Yes, My Liege." Samuel went off to find the Captain, assured the Queen was in safe hands.

Gabrielle rested on a blanket, her back against a large boulder. Megara was idyllic. Xena had brought her to the secluded beach house after their joining. It was rarely used by the Conqueror. Gabrielle's high hopes for a private holiday had been abruptly interrupted by state affairs. Xena remained at her desk with Targon and Jared as Gabrielle strolled the beach alone. Xena apologized and promised a return during a quieter time, when Gabrielle could have her undivided attention. That time had not come.

Gabrielle suspected that Megara could be special to Xena, if only the Fates allowed it. Megara was a haven far from the city and yet more than a transitory camp. The Queen's relaxed protocol was in place. She negotiated her security with Trevor. She granted sufficient concessions, allowing strategic postings of watch throughout the area while she enjoyed her privacy. Though Gabrielle missed Xena, her days passed well. Megara offered her an escape from the scrutiny of Corinth, giving her the necessary solitude to regain her waning composure. Their separation was a price she was willing to pay. She knew the reason for it, a reason she chose not to confess to the Sovereign. Gabrielle was certain that the telling would do more harm than good.

As well as she managed her separation there was one aspect of her relationship with Xena that Megara could not compensate for. As the seasons passed she had found that she had developed an intangible link to her partner. She never spoke to Xena of the feeling that they were inexplicably bonded. Never was the bond stronger than when they made love. And yet it was a bond not dependent on their most passionate expressions. It came to her when she lay in Xena's arms as they ended their days sitting quietly together. It was an invisible thread that wove itself around their held hands as they walked. Gabrielle had come to sense Xena's approach from a distance. She could sense a shift in Xena's emotion, no matter how nuanced, though she could never be certain of the cause behind the effect. She had grown confident in naming what she sensed and using her ability to keep her recondite lover within reach.

Gabrielle felt a tug in her heart. She looked back toward the beach house, noting a figure walking toward her. Contrasted to Samuel's lumbering gait, the approaching figure was far more graceful. The sun made it difficult for Gabrielle to discern. She saw a glint of light reflect off the hip. She focused on the object. The glint repeated. She guessed the cause of such an effect to be Xena's chakram. But ultimately, it was not the glint of light that moved Gabrielle. It was a sensation she had grown to trust.

Gabrielle got to her feet and began to walk toward the figure. Her step quickened as she noted the figure's long, flowing hair taken up by the wind. She spoke Xena's name aloud, making the moment she had been waiting for all the more real to her. Finally able to see Xena's face, Gabrielle laughed and broke free of all reservation, running toward her majestic target.

Xena kept a measured step, savoring the anticipation of having Gabrielle once again in her arms. Gabrielle had left Corinth distracted, if not depressed. Xena had tried to check her expectations so not to be disappointed if Gabrielle's welcome was less than warm. In the moment she failed to harness her optimism.

A smile came to the warrior as Gabrielle broke into a run. It would indeed seem she was welcomed. Gabrielle flung herself upon Xena. The impact, coupled by the loose sand below their feet, propelled them both to the ground. Xena landed on her back, the wind knocked out of her. Recovering from the jolt, Gabrielle enthusiastically hugged her lover.

Taking a breath, Xena laughed. "Gabrielle, you have literally taken my breath away."

Gabrielle propped herself up. She beamed. "Would you have it any other way, My Lord?"

"No, My Queen, I wouldn't." Xena rolled them both over. "Let me have a look at you. You've gotten sun."

Gabrielle's insecurities found voice. "Am I too tanned?"

"You are beautiful."

Gabrielle's smile returned. "I've missed you."

Xena was pleased. "Then you have no objection if we stay a fortnight more?"

"Do you mean it?" Gabrielle dared to hope.

Xena raised her hand swearing. "By my honor. Jared keeps Corinth for us both."

"Xena!" Gabrielle kissed the warrior in delight.

Xena was infused with the younger woman's jubilance. "I take that as a ‘yes.’"

"I love you." Gabrielle declared freely, her happiness sweet.

They returned to the beach house hand in hand. Beside Samuel stood Trevor. He exchanged greetings with the Royals.

At the beach house door, Xena paused. "One moment." She released Gabrielle's hand. Taking a few steps toward the shore, she summoned Trevor with her hand.

The Guardsman trotted to the Conqueror. "Yes, My Liege."

"I noted the Queen's security, she drives a hard bargain, does she not?"

"Negotiations are never easy."

"Let it be known among the Queen's Guard that it will be by her protocol that I stay here. I shall not reproach the man who calls her by her given name."

"Yes, My Liege."

"And Trevor, we are not to be disturbed."

The Captain nodded.

Xena turned back to the beach house.

Trevor stepped forward. "My Liege."

Xena waited for him.

"The Queen's safety has never been compromised."

She gave him her gentle regard. "I know that." She placed her hand on the Guardsman’s arm. "Gabrielle is to be as comfortable as she can be while we are here. I want her happy."

The Captain took advantage of the more liberal protocol. "By your presence, her happiness is assured."

"Thank you. I plan to stay a fortnight. Pray the Fates are kind and we have no interruptions."

At her lover's approach, Gabrielle reached out. Xena took her hand. Together they walked into the house and to their bedroom. Xena's saddlebags lay on a small table. Gabrielle's few things were neatly visible.

On a writing table Xena counted three closed scrolls beside one open. She inquired. "Have you been writing?"

Gabrielle released Xena and walked to the table closing the open scroll. "I've had time to work on a few stories."

"I'm glad to hear it." Xena felt the scratch of sand on her neck. She referred to her overcoat. "I'm going to take this off. You won't yell if I litter the floor with beach?"

Gabrielle smiled. "What right have I since I threw you on it?"

"You heard no complaints from me," Xena quipped, removing her coat. She wore a simple, loose tan blouse underneath. She stretched, achieving relief from tight shoulder muscles. As expected, sand fell to the floor beside her feet. She placed her coat over a chair. "Better."

Gabrielle felt a long-sheltered shyness. "Xena."

Busy opening her saddlebag, Xena murmured a hum in recognition.

Gabrielle continued. "I was afraid you wouldn't come…"

This statement caught Xena's attention. She gave Gabrielle her full regard.

The bard traced a scroll with her fingertip. Her journal, it held her most recent thoughts. She searched her memory for words now concealed in the rolled parchment. "The reason I wanted to leave Corinth…" Her conviction to keep her secret weakened. She hesitated; taking a deep breath she gathered her courage. "It's been wonderful here, but being away from you has been hard."

Xena avowed. "I came as soon as I could." She attempted to lighten the mood. "Jared was a little miffed not to see you."

"Why?" Gabrielle wondered.

Xena removed a scroll from a saddlebag. She offered it to her partner. "He wanted to give you this himself. The east garrison has petitioned for a visit from their Queen."

Gabrielle took the scroll and read it. Her smile returned. "I have friends there."

"You most certainly do. You have a friend here as well."

Gabrielle looked up. "I know."

Xena waited, hoping Gabrielle would offer an invitation into her rarely shared, troubled world. Xena wanted to help the younger woman battle her demons, if only Gabrielle allowed it. The silence began to weigh heavy. Xena chose to break the impasse. "There are still a few candlemarks of light remaining. What shall we do with them?"

Gabrielle silently thanked her lover for the obvious reprieve. "I would be happy not to leave our bedroom."

Their lovemaking began tenderly and grew in passion. They satisfied their mutual need to give and receive pleasure. Xena lay with Gabrielle resting against her shoulder.

She shared a recent revelation. "I had forgotten what it is to sleep alone. I find I prefer your company."

Gabrielle spoke sleepily. "That is good, My Lord."

For a moment Xena felt she had stepped back in time, to when she and Gabrielle were first intimate. Gabrielle seemed much younger and far less complex to her then. With time, Gabrielle became freer in showing her vulnerability and her own darkness. Xena came to understand that Gabrielle had a depth beyond her reach. She would be given hints of the underlying currents, never knowing with certainty the true nature and cause behind the ebbs and flows of Gabrielle's emotion. The moments of darkness were always veiled.

Refusal of Judais' invitation was only one example of Xena's frustrated insights. Xena remembered how Gabrielle had been introduced to Lord Ayers’ daughter, Melissa, and his granddaughter, Helena. The young child was three summers old, a delight of energy who reached out for Gabrielle. Melissa tried to coax her child to say the Queen's name. The child struggled, finally settling on the name 'Bri'." She repeated it again and again, pleased with the sound of it. Xena had never thought to call Gabrielle by any name other than her given name. She found she liked 'Bri' for Gabrielle. 'Bri' reminded Xena of Gabrielle at ease, like the ocean breeze that accompanied them throughout this day. But the name was not to Gabrielle's liking. She stepped away from the child, dropping her open arms as if heavy weights were shackled to her wrists.

"My Lord." Gabrielle spoke in her sleep.

Xena held her closer. "I'm here."

Xena smiled. How life changes with understanding. Only Gabrielle addressed her as her Lord. She remembered the days when she heard the title as a bitter testament of all that separated them. The day came when Gabrielle told a story of her youth. The story was one that confessed how deeply her love resonated in the words, 'My Lord,' harking back to dreams of love and belonging. The story was a gift to Xena. To Xena's regret, the gift of Gabrielle's personal history was rarely given.

Gabrielle spoke the title in love, in playful banter, and as now, in her dreams as she clung to Xena's sleep shirt. Xena placed her hand over Gabrielle's tight fist. It would not take long for Gabrielle's hand to relax, to trust the added tactile connection between them, to open and release the tension within tightened sinew.

Xena planted her fishing pole into the sand. She walked to where Gabrielle sat writing. She was content to rest beside her partner.

The bard put her quill and scroll aside. "I like you like this."

"Like what?" Xena turned onto her side.

"You're not the Conqueror. I don't even think you're my Lord." Gabrielle reached and touched Xena's hair. "You, I think, are the Xena of Amphipolis I would have known before Cortese."

Xena took Gabrielle's palm and kissed it. "This is a far different life than Corinth."

Gabrielle pursued a question that often hovered in the back of her mind. "If you could, what kind of life would you choose for yourself?"

Xena looked out to the sea. Her countenance changed, reminding Gabrielle of how her partner gradually slipped into silence sitting before a burning fire in the privacy of their suite. "Knowing what I know now… I wouldn't need much. I'd live in a village no larger than Amphipolis with a river to fish and a lake to swim. Good hunting and trapping… I'd breed and train horses."

Xena entered and allowed herself to be absorbed by her dream. Her yearning was salient. It broke Gabrielle's heart to see. Xena asked for so little though she owned Greece.

"I must send you away more often." Gabrielle was resolute.

Startled from her reverie, Xena turned to Gabrielle, hurt and confused by the unexpected declaration. "Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle noted her partner's tumult. She clarified, "To fish and hunt, to get away from Corinth."

Xena cast her eyes down to the sand. "I was never meant to have a quiet life. It wasn't a choice."

"Xena." Gabrielle waited patiently for the warrior to mind her call.

Xena gathered her private sorrow, bracing herself, before raising her gaze to the young bard.

Gabrielle was gentle. "I accept that ruling Greece is your destiny. Being Sovereign doesn't mean you have to deprive yourself of happiness."

"I haven't." Xena offered a muted smile, "I have you."

Gabrielle was not assuaged. "I know you love me. I feel your love to my very bone. But, I know that there are times you need what I can't give you."

Xena protested. "I have more than I deserve."

"When you gave me your vow of fidelity…" Gabrielle raised her hand. "…When you placed this ring on my finger you gave me more than I thought I had a right to ask of you. There is so little I have given you in return."

"Don't." Xena repeated in a pained whisper, "Don't say what we both know is not true. You are my Queen. I'm not alone anymore." Xena took Gabrielle's hand in her own. "You can't imagine how alone I felt before you. If the Fates gave me you in recompense for the price of safeguarding Greece, I am happy with the bargain."

"I want to give you more." Gabrielle felt an incomprehensible desperation that defied logic, like a thirst that could only be quenched by offering her overflowing cup to someone equally parched.

"Gabrielle, hear me well." Xena paused, using silence to accentuate the import of the statement that followed. "There are few that I love, fewer still that I trust. You are true to me. That is everything."

Gabrielle bowed her head. She began to cry. She released her hand from Xena's and covered her face, unable to bear her frustration.

Xena moved closer. "Gabrielle, why tears?"

She shook her head in response.

Whatever part of Xena may have been held in abeyance broke free. "I love you. You move me in ways that there are no words for. Gabrielle, I have yet to understand… I doubt that I ever will understand this sweet pain that I can no longer live without."

Xena's declaration silenced Gabrielle. Xena described what Gabrielle understood to be the sweet pain of an overwhelming love.

Gabrielle reached out and embraced Xena. "I'm sorry. This has been a wonderful day."

"How shall it end?" Xena teased, hoping to amuse the serious bard.

Gabrielle spoke through her quieting tears. "How would you have it end?"

"The Queen's Guard is impatient for your company." Xena release Gabrielle to see her better. "I dare say their royal bard has promised to entertain on this night."

"Plans can be changed." Gabrielle's eyes glistened with an unspoken enticement.

"No," Xena checked her own desire for Gabrielle's company. "I would not think of having their sister disappoint. Afterwards, with your permission, I shall love you from night to morning to night again."

Gabrielle smiled. "I shall welcome you to my bed and love you in return."

Xena traced Gabrielle's lips with her fingertips. "We may yet give Aphrodite reason to blush."

Argo and Geld raced down an open stretch of beach, their respective mistresses intent on their contest. Argo and Xena easily reached the finish line first. Xena trotted Argo back to Gabrielle and Geld, stopping aside of the beaten team.

Xena petted Geld. "I hate to say it boy, but your Queen's horsemanship out-strives your abilities."

Gabrielle was skeptical. "Are you trying to ease my loss by placing the responsibility on Geld?"

Xena continued to stroke the gelding. "I have never been anything but forthright in regards to your abilities."

Gabrielle was thoughtful, slowly accepting Xena's observation. Unable to completely embrace the compliment she redirected the conversation. "I am not ready to give Geld up."

"There is no reason why you should. You know each other well."

Geld bobbed his head in agreement.

Gabrielle laughed. "We have a consensus."

"Argo hasn't had her say." Xena signaled the mare with a press of her heels. Argo pranced in place. "There," Xena laughed, "it's unanimous." She stood up in her stirrups, stretching. "It is a good day!"

"Happy?" Gabrielle never tired of hearing Xena say she was so.

"Yes! I was smart to leave the distasteful business of Stavros and Tracate to Jared."

Gabrielle had purposely chosen not to raise the subject. It was now a topic of conversation and she pursued it.

"What was decided?" Gabrielle coaxed Geld to an easy walk.

Xena kept pace with Argo. "Jared was against Tracate. He wouldn't tell me why - a personal reason. I told Judais I would not grant the commissions. I left it for him and Jared to break the news to the men."

Gabrielle silently blessed Jared. "How did Judais react?"

"He was disappointed for his nephews. In all, he took the decision well." Xena chose to pursue a topic of greater interest. "I think Judais was more disappointed that you did not accept his invitation to dine. I tried to lessen the blow by sharing a private meal with him."

Gabrielle shifted in her saddle, keeping her eyes forward.

Xena continued. "Judais has always struck me as a good man. He is devoted to his family. He's disciplined and fair in managing his affairs."

Gabrielle looked askance. She spoke sternly. "Are you trying to convince me of his goodness?"

Xena felt Gabrielle's challenge. A cool guise had overtaken her partner. Information was being withheld. That she was certain of. Her gentle response was equally uncompromising. "I am trying to understand your failure to show him hospitality."

Chastised, Gabrielle faltered in her resolve. "You didn't speak of it at the time?"

"Because you seemed upset," Xena confessed. "I did not want to disturb you further."

"And now…" Gabrielle's defenses rose anew.

Xena reined Argo to a halt. She waited for Gabrielle to hold Geld. Only then did she speak. "It's not like you to be so abrupt…"

Gabrielle felt a suffocating contraction of her world. "You're so sure I'm in the wrong."

"I'm not talking about right or wrong."

"Did you ever stop to think that I might not want to have a meal with Judais or any other noble for that matter? I've had my fill of their arrogance and corruption."

Though a number of nobles deserved Gabrielle's assessment, not all did. Xena could easily list the men Gabrielle was fond of. She mentally set the list aside and kept her focus on the one man that had triggered their argument. "Judais is not like that. If you had given him a chance…"

Gabrielle struggled to keep her anger in check. She had limited success. "The fact that you like him doesn't mean I have to."

Xena continued calmly, trying her best to diffuse Gabrielle's passion without retreating from her objective. "You spoke to him for only a moment."

"Am I not free to make my own judgments?" Gabrielle demanded.

"Of course you are."

"Then give me the respect I deserve by honoring my judgments."

Xena held her response for a few heartbeats. She spoke deliberately. "I do respect you."

Gabrielle retorted, "As long as I agree with you."

Xena tasted Gabrielle's caustic venom. She would not be detracted. "That is not true. From the first day we met I have listened to your opinions and given them great weight."

"But you reserve the right to decide if and when to heed me." Gabrielle pointed to Xena as she continued in her accusation. "You have always set the terms of engagement."

"You are not being fair."

Gabrielle's hand closed into a fist. "I am!"

Xena chose silence as her response. She would have Gabrielle reflect on their exchange.

Gabrielle trembled with emotion. Her gaze shifted from Xena to her fist. She dropped her hand to her saddle in shame. It would have been easier for her if Xena had countered her accusations, as she rightly could. Gabrielle looked up; her voice was cold and distant. "Embrace Judais. Just don't expect me to."

"So be it." Xena withdrew from the confrontation. She knew they hit an impasse and that she needed to continue to exercise her patience. "Gabrielle, if there is anything I can do to prevent your hurt, I wish to know it."

Gabrielle could no longer withstand Xena's conciliatory approach. The most fragile part of her neared breaking. She took shelter from the truth by denouncing Xena's entreaty. "My hurt? You think this is about … I'm sorry if what I feel causes you any inconvenience or embarrassment."

"Gabrielle…"

"Xena, you are a powerful woman capable of many things, but one thing you cannot do is wash me clean like a new born babe, to always be happy because I've not been touched by violence. If that is who you want beside you, you will need to look elsewhere for a partner." Gabrielle pulled Geld's reins sharply and drove him back to the beach house.

Xena held an anxious Argo in her stance. Dismayed by Gabrielle's fervent reaction, she struggled with her own emotions. She dismounted. Feet planted firmly in the sand, she watched Gabrielle and Geld wane from sight.

Gabrielle's accusation lodged itself in Xena's heart. She wanted Gabrielle free from the tortures that marked her still. That did not equate to wanting Gabrielle to be someone she was not, to strip away her history, to ask her to deny or pretend that she had known nothing of the cruelties of warlord and slaver.

Xena had wanted what was deemed rightfully hers to ask - the truth. When given Gabrielle's truth, she had a chance to place a salve on the younger woman's wounds, wounds that had the power of taking Gabrielle from her, wounds that caused Gabrielle to withdraw from her. Xena now thought herself arrogant. She had no right to Gabrielle. Gabrielle was a freewoman. Even if she were still a slave, Xena had no right to Gabrielle's soul. And yet, she longed to reach Gabrielle's soul, a soul at times generously open and at other times forbidding. Xena knew Gabrielle's soul only in part, she knew least its brokenness, a brokenness resulting from the violence inflicted by those who took no pity upon the young and innocent.

There was a dark truth resident in Xena's heart. Her own hands were bloodstained. She and her army were first indiscriminate subjugators of the peasantry. Only when she watched the village of Cirra burn did she change the tone of her command. Bloodshed continued, but not without reason. She could never return innocence to the violated, she could never heal the scorched flesh of the maimed, and she could never instill life to those cut down by her sword.

As the village of Cirra burned in front of her eyes, as her ears were assaulted by the cries of the dying, she faced in the reflection of the hot blue flames who she had become and hated herself for it. Though the fire that swept the village was unintended, it was by her men's actions that it had ignited. It was because of the peasants' fear of her that they refused to leave burning shelters and seek safety within the village courtyard. Amidst the fire, her unheeded pleas to the villagers to trust her with their lives resulted in a holocaust. The darkest vengeance for Cortese could never justify the destruction of Cirra. Xena had proof that she was equal to those she most despised. That truth had taken her to a secluded patch of woods where she kneeled down and leaned against her sword ready to take her own life and meet Hades' judgment to Tartarus. All value of her life had long been defiled by her violence.

In the patch of woods, with the point of her cold bronze blade against her skin, she remembered a moment in her life that promised a destiny unlike her current existence. She had a choice. She could help rebuild with the strength of her arms, she could help ease the pain with her knowledge of healing and she could, by her will, do all in her power to safeguard the lives of the few Cirrian survivors and of the people of Greece.

Her destiny brought her now to a secluded beach in Megara, with the mirror image of the consequences of her most horrid acts reflected in the haunted eyes of her lover. Xena led Argo in a track away from Gabrielle. She sought her solitude, deep in regret.

Gabrielle rode Geld hard, past the beach house, to the cove. She pulled him to a halt and dismounted. She turned on her feet looking back. There was no trace of Xena. "Oh, Gods!" she sobbed. She hated what she had done. She did not know how to undo the harm.

The compound had quieted after evening meal. All noticed the Conqueror's absence, though no one spoke of it. Trevor observed Gabrielle's sullenness and conjectured that the Royals had fallen into a disagreement. He ordered the sentries to report any sign of the Conqueror or Argo.

Samuel stood at the crest of the beach, near the pathway to the beach house. Samuel was a big man. He was thoughtful and when not in battle slow in movement, leading those who did not know him to think him simple or worse, stupid. His mind was methodical and precise in its determination. When first given the assignment to guard the slave Gabrielle, many thought it an indication of the lesser his skills were valued. They thought this though they would not have made an equal judgment of Trevor.

The Conqueror had become aware of the fact that Samuel had taken a liking to the young slave. That liking, his steadfast loyalty to the Conqueror and his fighting skills, convinced the Conqueror that Samuel was a good choice for what she judged a prestigious position, though she knew it was not received in kind by all her Guardsmen.

Time proved the Conqueror's judgment correct and vindicated Samuel in the eyes of his brothers. He was a member of the select Queen's Guard. It did not escape those who cared, that Samuel was a great beneficiary of the Queen's protocol, enjoying a personal relationship with Gabrielle that was the envy of those who loved her. Their intimacy had grown gradually, always dictated by the younger woman. She was his 'little sis'; an endearment once accidentally voiced, causing Gabrielle delight at the hearing of it. So much so, she would not accept Samuel's apology for the liberty.

Gabrielle went to Samuel. "Any sign of the Conqueror?"

"I'm sorry, no." Samuel noted Gabrielle's dolefulness. He offered, "I can go search for her."

"No." Gabrielle gratefully placed her hand on the Guardsman's arm. "She won't want to be found."

They stood quietly in companionship, listening to the sounds of the sea, the surging wind and the gulls flying overhead.

Gabrielle felt the loneliness of her error. She sought a confessor. "Sam…"

"Yes?" The Guardsman's reserve scythed a space for Gabrielle to trespass, if she so chose.

"I was…" Gabrielle struggled with her shame. "I hurt her. She didn't deserve it."

Samuel cast his eyes down to the formidable, yet fragile young woman. Knowing the depth of Gabrielle's love for the Conqueror, he found her admission difficult to accept. "You?"

"Yes Sam, me," she affirmed.

The Guardsman, true to his nature, did not immediately speak. He considered the woman before him and the Sovereign he had served for many years. "I don't think there is anything you could do that the Conqueror wouldn't forgive."

"You're wrong." Gabrielle could not minimize the force of her angry words. "There are certain lines no one can cross."

Samuel was steadfast in his resolve. "I don't believe you are capable of crossing those lines."

Gabrielle looked out toward the void. "Sometimes, I'm not so sure."

"She'll come home to you." Samuel placed his hand on Gabrielle's shoulder. "Do you know how I know?"

"Tell me." Gabrielle was in want of his reassurance.

Samuel spoke with confidence. "We men of the Guard are privy to the Conqueror's secret. She will do anything for those she loves. The Conqueror allows us to openly be your brothers. We are also hers. We just do not say it. We would die for the Conqueror because she would die for us. We love her because she loves us. We all know that there is no one she loves more than you. I think our Conqueror stopped living before she met you. And now, I don't think she can breathe without you. Maybe she could, but she wouldn't want to. She'll come home to you, because for her there is no longer a choice."

Gabrielle desperately needed to believe Samuel. She hugged him; her tears fell freely. Samuel held Gabrielle until her weeping subsided. He offered her a gentle smile. "You should rest."

Feeling her exhaustion, Gabrielle did not protest. She nodded.

Samuel escorted Gabrielle back to the beach house with a promise to summon her if there was any news of Xena's whereabouts.

She entered the beach house, sheltered from the elements, alone, painfully exposed to her fears.

It was late night when Trevor knocked on Gabrielle's bedroom door. She had fallen asleep finding alternating comfort in her dreams and disquiet in her nightmares. She opened the door both hopeful and dreadful of what she would learn. She did not wait for Trevor to speak. "Tell me she's all right."

"We spotted a fire ring. It could be Xena. Sam is saddling Geld for you. He's packing a couple extra blankets in case you choose not to return until morning."

"I'll get my boots."

"And your cloak. There is a chill in the air."

Gabrielle sat on a chair as she put on her boots. "Trevor, no argument about an escort?"

The Guardsman conceded. "I know better."

Gabrielle finished tying her laces. She grabbed hold of her cloak. Trevor accompanied her to where Samuel and Geld waited. Gabrielle mounted Geld.

Samuel held a torch. He instructed. "If all is well, raise the torch over your head twice like this." He demonstrated the signal. "We'll answer your signal. He pointed to the watch post up on a jutting cliff. If you need help keep repeating the signal. We'll mirror you to let you know we're coming for you."

Gabrielle took the torch from him. "Thank you."

Samuel and Trevor watched Gabrielle ride away. Samuel wished the best for his charge. "Captain, I hope the Conqueror receives Gabrielle well."

Trevor understood that with the Conqueror, a rent of trust, even one with Gabrielle, left nothing certain. "Me too, Sam. Let's go to the watch. We'll wait together for Gabrielle's signal."

With caution Gabrielle drew near to the fire. She knew better than to think her approach would go undetected. She wanted to give Xena plenty of time to set herself ready.

Xena stood by the fire; her sword remained in its sheath. Gabrielle stayed Geld. Xena persisted in a silent wait.

Gabrielle accepted that it would be for her to speak first. "I'm sorry."

The wind wafted through the torch causing a fluttering sound that melded with the sonance of the seawaters lapping the shore.

"Is that all you have to say to me?" Xena questioned remotely.

Gabrielle swung her leg over Geld's neck and slid off the saddle, carefully holding the torch with her far hand. "Tell me what I must do to make things right between us and I will do it."

Xena beheld Gabrielle as the complicated woman she was. Xena knew what she wanted. She knew it was not yet possible. She would not ask Gabrielle to bare her soul. She would not ask Gabrielle to trust her with the demons that continued to haunt her. She would not ask Gabrielle to share knowledge that would help Xena cope with the unwarranted outbursts, though understood to be misdirected, no less devastating to absorb.

Xena knew how inconceivable the thought of sharing one’s nightmares could be. Gabrielle's nightmares were founded on actions unjustifiably executed against her. Xena's nightmares were fueled by her own actions, forever regretted. The difference between them was that in their private nightmares she was the perpetrator and Gabrielle was the victim. When Gabrielle lashed out, she expressed an anger righteous in its make-up. Though it was not by Xena's hand that Gabrielle was harmed, Xena could not set aside the truth that there were many in the world that had reason to feel an equal rage against her as Gabrielle felt against others. Xena began to turn away.

"Xena, please," Gabrielle pleaded.

"There is nothing more to be done. I accept your apology." Now that she received Gabrielle's atonement Xena felt she did not deserve it. It was obscene to have Gabrielle ask for forgiveness. The scales of justice were terribly unbalanced.

"Will you come back with me?"

Knowing that the younger woman sheltered herself away from reach, Xena felt too vulnerable to consent to Gabrielle's company. She had difficulty meeting Gabrielle's eye. "I am not ready."

Gabrielle would wrench a place for herself in Xena's camp. "May I stay?"

"Go back." Xena's direction was dully precise. "Your brothers will be concerned for you."

"Not if I signal all's well." Gabrielle raised the torch.

"Go back, Gabrielle!" the Conqueror demanded.

Gabrielle waited, hoping Xena would offer a sign that would contradict the command, giving her reason to stay. Xena stood unmoved, her face a mask, beyond reading. By Gabrielle's thoughtless words, the Conqueror had been called forth to Megara to insulate Xena's tender soul, a soul that had budded open during the preceding days.

Disheartened, Gabrielle took Geld's reins and began her walk back to the beach house. She felt desolate and could blame no one but herself.

Xena watched Gabrielle's retreat into the darkness, the light of the torch becoming ever smaller with the increasing distance. For a moment she dared look up to the cliff watch, confirming two torch lights still present, sign that Gabrielle was observed, her safety assured. Xena returned her sight upon Gabrielle's torch. She could not break free from it, her eyes fixed upon it. She measured that the flame held steady, getting neither smaller nor larger. Xena waited thinking Gabrielle might be mounting Geld for the remainder of her return. She felt a tug in her heart. With it a growing fear for Gabrielle's well-being. Instinctively, Xena began to walk toward the light. Her walk became a jog, and then a run. She heard Gabrielle's sobs before she saw the younger woman's despairing figure barely holding the torch.

Xena called to her.

Gabrielle turned, stepping forward until Xena came into the circle of light. Upon seeing the Sovereign, Gabrielle fell to her knees. Head low, she beseeched, "My Lord, please forgive me."

Gabrielle's supplication was more than Xena could bear. It shocked her. She moved quickly, meeting Gabrielle upon the earth, taking the torch from her hand and embedding it into the sand upright with one hand as she encircled Gabrielle with her free arm.

Gabrielle cleaved to the Sovereign, her tears unchecked. "Don't send me away. I can't lose you again."

"Gabrielle." Xena held her lover close. Gabrielle's words brought back a pledge Xena had sworn, never to leave Gabrielle behind, always to give her the choice to be by Xena's side. A promise made to temper Gabrielle's fear of being sent away as she had been once before. "I'm here. I'm yours."

Hearing Xena's assurances, Gabrielle clung all the tighter. With gentle words and a steadfast embrace Xena slowly calmed Gabrielle, until the younger woman was silent and her embrace relaxed from its anxious hold.

Xena gently requested. "Tell me, what is the all's well signal?"

Gabrielle took a deep breath as she struggled to compose herself. "Two overhead strokes."

"A moment then?"

Gabrielle nodded.

Xena stood, torch in hand. She completed the signal and waited. It was quickly answered. She replaced the torch in the sand and enfolded Gabrielle into her arms. "Shall we get Argo and my things and go back to the house?"

Again, Gabrielle nodded.

"Good."

Gabrielle placed her hands on Xena's forearms, keeping the warrior in place. "Xena."

"Yes?" Xena was tender in her regard.

"You've asked me how I could love you. How can you love me when…" Gabrielle faltered. She bowed her head again.

With her fingertips, Xena raised Gabrielle's chin until their eyes met. She spoke softly, "Because you are true. Sometimes it is a difficult truth I cannot completely understand, but I do trust it. Even when there is pain, it brings us closer, it gives me a chance to see you more completely. Gabrielle, I love you for letting me touch your life, even in its darker moments… especially in its darker moments."

"How much of my darkness can you withstand?"

"All that you dare show me." Xena confessed her heart's desire.

Gabrielle felt the manacles of shame that bound her truth away from those who sought it. "Xena, I can't share all…"

"I know." She understood that there is only so much of one's darkness that can be shared without facing an ugliness that thwarts life completely.

Gabrielle woke alone. She called for Xena. Silence was her answer. She scanned the room. Xena's things were in their place. They and the memory of falling asleep in Xena's embrace returned a quickened heartbeat to its normal pace.

It was late morning. She washed and dressed. Out by the beach, Trevor informed her that Xena was fishing at the cove. Gabrielle walked the distance feeling an unresolved fragility from the previous evening.

Xena stood between two large fishing poles firmly staked into the sand. Her vision, cast out to the sea, shifted to acknowledge Gabrielle's progress. She offered a smile allaying Gabrielle's doubts.

Gabrielle placed her hand on Xena's back. Standing on her toes she gave the warrior a kiss upon the cheek. She stepped forward toward the waters. A memory of she and her sister Lila playing in the shallow sea waters gently claimed her. Gabrielle had a story in mind, one she needed to tell.

"I remember the day I first saw the ocean. I was twelve summers old. My father had packed our family into our wagon. We were going on a holiday. Where was a secret. I remember smelling the sea and tasting the salt upon my tongue before ever seeing the Aegean. The water was endless. I never imagined it could be so beautiful. During that holiday, my father was generous in a way he never had been before or after. Lila and I were given permission to explore the beach freely as long as we promised never to go further than our knees into the water. It was the only rule we had. Lila and I roamed about collecting different treasures that drifted to shore. The seashells, in all shapes and sizes, were priceless to us.

"One morning having woken early, I walked alone on the beach. The sea birds kept me company as I watched the sunrise. At its most brilliant, I stopped and sat; staring at the horizon seeing hues of color I had no names for. I was in awe of the world. Whoever painted the sky knew beauty. It brought tears to my eyes.

"The life I knew seemed so dull in comparison. It broke my heart to go back to Poteidaia. The prospect of returning to a place I didn't feel I belonged in, nearly drove me to run away. At that age where would I have gone?" Gabrielle turned to Xena. "I didn't have the courage to brave the world alone.

"When I was a slave I was beaten because I fought for a better life. A part of me wouldn't be mastered. I chose the lash over being… I fought not to lose sense of who I was. My father had shown me beauty and I refused to completely surrender myself to the ugliness that was overtaking me. I felt most comfortable… safe, when I was alone or in the company of the few fellow slaves who showed me kindness.

"Xena, when you first brought me here… I wanted to tell you. But for those rare dark moments which I fear will always come to me unexpectedly," Gabrielle paused and opened her arms wide, "this is my life now. I shall never be able to thank you enough."

Xena had listened attentively. She was given a glimpse of Gabrielle's demons. More so she witnessed Gabrielle reclaim a joy; transient, yet precious for the hope it gave her. Xena went to her. Gabrielle met her in an embrace.

Moved deeply Xena whispered. "Gabrielle of Poteidaia, you break my heart as you make it whole."

"Are we right again?" Gabrielle dared to solicit still needed reassurance.

"Yes."

They separated gently. Gabrielle rested her forehead on Xena's chest. "I wish we didn't have to leave."

Xena tightened her embrace. "We have three more days. And, we shall return often, I promise."

"I shall hold you to your promise, My Lord."

"That is the Queen's right."

Gabrielle claimed Xena's tunic in a tightened fist. "The magic here is that there are no Sovereigns or Queens."

Xena understood the magic of Megara as a unique suspension from the Gods’ interference. "I say the Fates have left us to our own devices. If only the rest of our days were as free."

Xena stood alone in the turret. Megara was a memory she visited often during the two passing moons. Issues of state had once again intruded upon her peace. The dispatches from General Dymas documented raids against small villages in the northern regions. The violence had no reason to it. Little was taken. The acts of men against men and women were cruel and meant to humiliate. Lord Judais shared the most disturbing intelligence. He suspected that Tracate was leading the insurgence. Xena kept this latter information to herself and answered Judais with instructions to keep silent until she arrived. She feared she would rue the day she left Jared to deal with Tracate while she traveled to Gabrielle in Megara.

If Tracate was indeed leading the raids to provoke her, he would get his wish and entertain a personal audience with the Conqueror. The question that gnawed at her was, "Why?" Had a commission been so important to Tracate? What was it about Tracate that Jared abhorred? One way to get the answers to her questions was to have the two men face each other. Under the circumstances, a confrontation with Jared, the General of the Royal Guard, would be no surprise to Tracate. The same could not be said for Jared, or at least that was what Xena thought. It was Jared's reaction she was most uncertain of and equally wanting to observe.

"Xena." Gabrielle interrupted the warrior's thoughts.

"It's a still night." Xena kept her eyes forward.

"Would you rather I leave you to your privacy?"

Xena turned to Gabrielle. "I've been distant, haven't I?"

"Yes." Gabrielle had felt the growing estrangement. "I understand…"

Xena interrupted, "Don't be so understanding. I wouldn't argue too much if you set your claim upon me." With that said she reached out invitingly.

Gabrielle accepted the invitation and entered into Xena's embrace. Xena held Gabrielle silently; stillness overcame her, a momentary respite, a slight wisp of peace edged into her soul, a soul imbued with a wracking torture.

Gabrielle listened to Xena's heartbeat. It was steady and strong, and yet she felt there was something left unsaid between them. "You're worried."

"I'm confused. I pride myself in knowing how raiders and warlords think. What is happening in the north doesn't make sense to me."

"Has Dymas disappointed you?"

"I don't think I could have done much better."

"This reminds me of the eastern raiders."

"I see it differently." Xena had considered the far-reaching ramifications of northern discontent. "They wanted Greece and Persia to go to war leaving them to ransack both sides of the borders. They were seeking the spoils of war. Whoever is leading this northern band is staying clearly within Greece. The people's discontent is being fueled, I say manipulated. This could escalate to a civil conflict. The people complain that they are taxed yet receive no protection from the realm. They may come to believe that they would do better on their own."

"A break from Greece?"

"It's suicide. Even if I allowed it, which I won't, Caesar would annex the land for Rome the moment I turned my back."

"Whoever is leading this must either be with Caesar or a fool." Gabrielle concluded

A few moments of silence passed between them before Xena spoke in a hush. "What makes a man or woman believe they deserve the right to rule others… I look at myself and how wrong… Who is to say someone can't step in and do better?"

Gabrielle leaned back. "You can't be serious to think whoever is leading the northern raids will be better for Greece than you?"

"No, but there are others who oppose me. Even you…" Xena turned her gaze back toward the night. "How many times have we disagreed? We will continue to disagree."

Gabrielle recognized the haunted look upon Xena. "You allow an open forum in Court. I know I don't attend often, but there isn't a day you don't talk to me about the decisions you've made. I know you don't share your thoughts with me just to train me on issues of state. You do it because you are open to challenge. There have been times you've tempered your judgment or changed your strategy because of something that was said to you in Court or that I have said to you privately. Xena, you are not a despot. I don't think I could love you if you were."

Xena cringed at Gabrielle's final declaration.

Gabrielle continued to search for her answer. "Xena, what troubles you?"

"Not a year…" Xena's vented her frustrations. "…Not one year has Greece known peace under my rule. The people in the villages, the men under my command… their lives are claimed by the sword. For what?"

"The battles are not of your making." Gabrielle found great merit in Xena's governance. "You fight to defend."

Xena leaned against the turret parapet. "Don't you ever wonder why Ares chose me?"

Gabrielle offered her keen insight. "Because you are everything he could dream of having. You're intelligent, strong, unbelievably skilled, willful and beautiful. And, you harbor an uncontrollable rage and inconsolable guilt."

Xena shifted her gaze to Gabrielle.

Gabrielle was tender. "Loving you hasn't stopped me from seeing you for who you are."

Again, Xena looked away into the night. She knew Gabrielle did not see her completely. She was unwilling to lay ruin to Gabrielle's illusion.

Gabrielle stepped to Xena's side. "Has Ares come to you?"

Xena shook her head. She whispered, "No."

"Do you want him to?"

Xena closed her eyes, silently damning the question. She answered sternly. "No."

Gabrielle observed. "Your nightmares have worsened."

Xena looked at her hands. Gabrielle did not see the stain of blood she could never erase from her mind's eye. "There is something I need to do. I'm going to send Jared ahead to the north garrison. I'll meet him on the road. You can travel with Jared or wait here for our return."

"I can't come with you?" Her exclusion troubled Gabrielle.

Xena would not negotiate. "I need a few days."

Gabrielle considered if in traveling alone Xena sought a release of her darker side, a release that would not touch her. Such a possibility harkened back to a promise made early in their shared life. It was a promise rarely acknowledged for the revelation of its discharge had the power to hurt them both. She set the possibility aside. If Xena acted such it was best for her not to know. She had to rely on Xena's discretion. "Meet me in Megara. We'll travel north together."

"Megara?" Xena wondered if they were of one mind.

"We can spend a day or two alone. Traveling only with my Guard we will be able to easily make up the distance."

Xena did not have to be convinced. She wanted Megara. "Very well."

Gabrielle felt she had overstayed her welcome. She placed her hand on Xena's arm. "I'll wait for you."

Xena nodded. The meaning behind Gabrielle's words was manifold. Gabrielle would wait on this night in their bed, she would wait in Megara, and if necessary, she would wait until Xena found her way back from her encroaching darkness.

Gabrielle kissed Xena on the cheek before returning alone to their suite. She sensed that on this night she would sleep alone. She did.

Xena traveled to the Temple of the Moirae. She entered, a pack over her shoulder. Situated in an alcove, a half-dozen candles burned to their base stood dormant. Xena removed her pack and withdrew a large candle placing it among the others. From her belt she took a flint, striking it at the candlewick until it ignited. A tear fell down her cheek. Her words were spoken with love. "In memory of my brother Lyceus."

Her eyes fell upon the altar, recalling a memory from years past. She steeled her heart. At her birth, Clotho had spun the wool of her life string. Lachesis continued to draw the string. When, she wondered, would Atropos grant relief and make the cut that would end her life? By the Fates she knew her life. On this day, there was no joy in it.

It was a cool morning. Dressed in her cloak, Gabrielle stood near the palace gates as the Royal Guard marched on their journey north.

Jared rode to her. "Lass."

She stepped up to his stallion. "Jared. Safe journey."

"I expect to see you and Xena before we reach Phillippopolis."

Gabrielle shared a contingency. "We shall send word if we are delayed in Amphipolis."

Jared was nonplused. "Amphipolis? I did not know you planned to visit Cyrene."

Gabrielle thought the visit to Xena's mother obvious. "I assumed Xena would want to take advantage of being near."

Jared was sober. "No lass, not now."

"Why not?" Gabrielle's confusion was genuine.

"It's too close to the day of Lyceus' death. Cyrene and Xena mourn alone. It is too painful for them to be together. Every year at this time I pray that Xena will stay among us. Every year she disappears to where I do not know. As you have learned lass, it is best to let her go to shed her private tears."

Gabrielle nodded. The cause of Xena's darkened mood explained, it pained her that her partner grieved alone.

Jared consoled. "Don't worry. She always comes back better than she left."

A sentry's signal announced the Conqueror's arrival. Word quickly reached Gabrielle. She left her writing desk and stood on the beach house porch. She was determined to ask nothing of Xena. Her only desire was to allay the grief that had taken Xena away from her.

Xena rode directly to the house, bypassing the stables. She dismounted Argo. She approached, her fatigue clearly etched on her face. She paused at the porch lower step, offering a gentle greeting to her partner. "Hello."

Gabrielle measured the warrior. Xena was covered with dust and perspiration, the remnants of the road. "How are you?"

"Well." She hoped that in their bed she could find more than the fitful, haunted sleep of the past few days. "A bit tired."

Gabrielle reached out her hand. "Come then."

Xena took Gabrielle's hand and allowed herself to be guided to their bedroom. Upon crossing the threshold, Xena released Gabrielle and proceeded to disarm herself, placing her sword scabbard and chakram on a nearby table.

Gabrielle retrieved a clean sleep shirt.

Xena took the offered garment. "Thank you." She felt her loneliness profoundly. She wanted Gabrielle but could not broach the space of cautious regard.

Well practiced in caring for the warrior, Gabrielle knew it was not for her to set the terms of their reunion. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Xena bared her need nakedly. "Be here when I wake."

"Shall I lie with you?"

A moment of aching silence passed before Xena answered. "Please."

Gabrielle went to the clothes cabinet and removed her own sleep shirt. The two women changed dress in silence. Xena stepped to the window looking out to the sea.

Gabrielle sat on the edge of their bed. "Xena, come to bed."

Xena turned and went to Gabrielle. "Last night I dreamt of you waiting here for me. Such sweet dreams never came true for me until you entered my life."

Gabrielle took Xena's hands. "I'll hold you safe. I promise I'll fight anyone or anything that tries to make you doubt our life together."

Xena confessed for a second time. "Gabrielle, I'm tired."

"I know love. Come sleep. I'll be here when you wake."

Xena took to their bed. Gabrielle covered them both with a blanket. She lay beside her lover gently embracing the exhausted warrior.

Xena closed her eyes. "I missed this."

Gabrielle held tight, grateful to have Xena back in her arms.

It was mid-day when the Royals and their escort arrived at the northern garrison. Jared, Dymas and Judais stood together in front of the Conqueror's quarters. The Royals dismounted. The Conqueror offered a terse greeting to the men as the Queen stood two paces behind her.

Wasting no time the Conqueror directed herself to Judais. "Come, let's talk."

The two walked privately, leaving Jared and Dymas to stand dumb. Gabrielle silently observed the brief exchange. It was clear that the two generals were surprised by and did not approve of their dismissal. She did not comment. She would patiently wait for Xena to brief her.

"Have you learned anything new?" the Conqueror inquired.

Judais kept pace with the Sovereign. "I'm ashamed to confirm that Tracate leads the men."

"You're sure?" The Conqueror paused; satisfied their conversation was secure.

Judais explained. "Yes. He came to me. He knows I have access to you. He wants a meeting."

"What on earth would that accomplish?"

"I dare say he wants the mantle of Ares' Chosen."

"What!" Though she had denounced Ares', the Conqueror continued to live with the residual affect of their alliance.

"By beating you, he would win the favor of the God of War."

The Conqueror could not fathom Tracate's arrogance. "Tracate actually believes he can beat me in combat?"

"No, I don't believe he's that much of a fool."

"Then what?"

"A contest of wits and will," Judais surmised. "I think he believes that if he gets you to concede to his demands he will gain a measure of Ares' admiration. He is out to satisfy his emerging ego."

The Conqueror vented her anger. She spat her words. "He's a short-sighted, greedy bastard. He won't be satisfied. Few are."

"I agree."

Xena took control of her temper. This was not, and to her dismay it would not be, the last time she was challenged because of the unworthy ambition of a man. She regretted what had to be done. "Judais, I'm going to have to kill him."

The noble foresaw the inevitable. "He has given you no choice. My allegiance has always been with your Majesty."

Xena decided it was time to mine for other motives. "What history does Tracate have with Jared?"

Judais was confused by the question. "General Jared and Tracate? Other than Jared's conveyance of your refusal of Tracate's commission, none that I know."

Xena was not satisfied. "There is something. This is not just about Tracate's idiotic campaign to prove himself to Ares. Jared refused Tracate's commission citing personal reasons."

"Did he? Your Majesty, I honestly don't know what could be behind the refusal. I was with the General when we informed my nephews of your decision. It was the first time they had met. The General was very matter-of-fact. There was no obvious hostility."

Judais' assessment did not alter Xena's strategy. "Set up the meeting for tomorrow. Say nothing to my camp. This mystery will be solved, and I shall be the one to dictate how."

The noble conceded willingly to the Conqueror's command. "As you wish, Your Majesty."

Gabrielle spent the balance of the day inspecting the ancillary services of the army. After evening meal she granted a request for a story. Sitting with the men around a fire ring, the master storyteller weaved tales of adventure, courage and honor. Gabrielle knew her audience well. Each day they moved closer to battle. They needed to believe in each other and in themselves. Her heroes were ordinary men and women fighting a just cause. The smallest victory was of equal merit to bold strokes of genius. Though the Conqueror was never mentioned, great leaders were. The men believed the finest warrior in Greece, if not the known world led them. Gabrielle gave them reason to be confident.

The Conqueror had purposely remained in the background. The focus was on the young Queen, not only as a bard, but also as a leader. The Queen's storytelling had matured. She understood military strategy. She instructed as she entertained. The men would interrupt with questions and she was ready with answers.

The Guardsmen were unique. They did not fight for spoils. They fought for glory and for the greater good. The Conqueror listened as the Queen spoke of the greater good. It was to be found in the lives of the peasantry, the men and women who worked incessantly to keep shelter over their heads, food on their tables, and clothes on their backs.

Xena scanned Gabrielle's attentive audience. How many would die within the fortnight? How many would live with injury and pain? She was determined not to let her pride cost these men their lives. Tracate was taunting her. She was the target. She cursed the Fates and Tracate as their instrument. The price of her legacy was never only hers to pay. If she failed to forestall a battle, her legacy would once again claim the lives of good people.

Gabrielle had kept close watch on Xena. The complex woman changed in times of war. In times of war Xena manifested the Conqueror's presence, a bearing that made powerful men tremble. War also brought the Conqueror to her most savage self. Maintaining her equilibrium, her humanity, was a constant struggle. War also changed how Xena related to Gabrielle. For Gabrielle, the challenge of war was first and foremost to maintain her bond with Xena. Away from war Gabrielle could forget that she was the intimate of Ares' Chosen. In the face of war she could not. To be of any service to Xena, Gabrielle could not allow herself to be repulsed by the Conqueror's actions. She had to hold to her knowledge of the other aspects of the warrior. There was the woman who sought, standing in the palace turret high above the Corinth streets, the peace of night while she mourned war's casualties even before they were realized. There was also the woman who spent quiet days at Megara, fishing, walking the beach, dreaming of a life of simple pleasures, her armor and weapons stored away out of sight.

Ending her storytelling early, Gabrielle walked to where Xena stood. Wordlessly she took the Sovereign's hand and they walked to their tent. Soon they were both lying in their bed, Gabrielle resting against her lover's shoulder waiting to be told what the morrow would bring.

Xena had debated throughout the evening how best to confront Tracate. She made her decision as she listened to Gabrielle. "Tomorrow there will be a meeting with the leader of the outlaws."

Gabrielle's curiosity peaked. "You know who it is?"

Xena was very much the succinct Conqueror. "Tracate."

Gabrielle recoiled, sitting up. "What?"

Xena turned to her partner. "The fool is trying to prove himself to Ares at the expense of Greece. He will be stopped. Tomorrow, you and Jared will ride with me."

Her inclusion took Gabrielle by surprise. "I? But why?"

Xena covered Gabrielle's hand with her own. "It's time you witness field negotiations. It will be good learning. Gabrielle, you are the Queen and our armies need to see that you are with them."

Gabrielle tried to harness her rising panic. "What does Jared think of Tracate?"

"I haven't told him."

Gabrielle now understood that Jared had not been given the opportunity to prevent her misfortune. "It's not like you to keep something this important from Jared."

Xena openly expressed her displeasure. "It's not like Jared to keep things from me."

Gabrielle paused. Her thoughts whirled about her. She focused, as Xena had taught her, finding a place to stand within the eye of the storm. She calmed. "What do you suspect?"

"There is something being kept from me." Xena ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't know what."

Gabrielle knew better than to argue with Xena's instincts. "Is this meeting the only way to avoid a battle?"

"It's what he's been wanting all along - an audience with the Conqueror."

Gabrielle offered a knowledgeable warning. "Xena, you must be careful. You don't know what he's capable of."

"But I do." Xena assured. She was all too familiar with the egos that drive men and, to her chagrin, women to Ares. "He's no different than any other unscrupulous warlord vying for a kingdom of his own. I will play him to learn as much as I can and then I will give him a choice to either put down his weapons or die."

Gabrielle fell silent. Internally her shame debated her fear. She had limited success in convincing herself that with the grace of the Gods both she and Xena would survive their meeting with Tracate unscathed.

Xena took note of her partner's grave demeanor. "Gabrielle…"

The young Queen deflected Xena's concern. "What do you think he'll do?"

"There is nothing I've heard about Tracate that gives me hope that we will settle without a sword."

"I'm sorry." Gabrielle's sympathy extended to an event she refused to believe was inevitable, an event that Xena could not foresee.

Xena beckoned, extending her hand in invitation. "Come, let's try to get some sleep."

Gabrielle held close to her Lord. She dreaded that the morrow would not be a good day.

The Conqueror strategically dispersed four units of men to detect and counter any possible ambushes. Riding Argo, she approached the center of the field. Jared, Gabrielle, Trevor, Dymas and Judais comprised a second line. The armies of Greece followed, an imposing vision of military strength.

Tracate approached followed by six of his men. His less formidable forces stood in formation behind him.

The Conqueror and Tracate faced off on their mounts.

The Conqueror spoke dully, keen not to grant Tracate a reason to be proud. "So, you are Tracate."

Tracate maintained a respectful countenance. "Yes, Your Majesty."

"Courtesy?" The Conqueror smirked. "That is unexpected."

Tracate made claim to his dignity. "I am no barbarian."

The Conqueror measured the man. Tracate presented himself as a professional soldier, well-groomed and well-weaponed. "You have caused havoc in this province. That does not bode well if your intention was to make a good impression."

"I sought an honorable means of being of service to you, but you turned me down without even granting me an audience to argue my case."

The Conqueror accounted for her actions. "Word of you was not to my satisfaction."

"Lies!" Tracate countered. "I have never acted against you or Greece."

"Until now," the Conqueror corrected.

"Only to prove my value to you. I and my men will stand down on your command given two conditions."

"And they are?"

Tracate leaned forward in his saddle. "Full amnesty for our recent excursions and to become the core of a new army of Greece."

"You no longer want to be stationed with General Dymas and the northern garrison?" The Conqueror's suspicions heightened.

"I don't believe that would be wise. There is now bad blood between us." Tracate sat back straight, his pride evident. "My men have beaten them well."

The Conqueror inquired reasonably. "How many men do you have?"

"Near seventy."

"Only a fledging army," the Conqueror assessed.

"Skilled and determined." Tracate argued.

"I would say ambitious."

Tracate smiled knowingly. "A quality I have admired in you, Your Majesty."

The Conqueror allowed for a few moments of silence. She noticeably steeled. "Your uncle does not support you." Having Judais with her emphasized the point.

Tracate snapped. "He is a fool bound to old ways."

Again, the Conqueror held her tongue, allowing heartbeats to pass without interruption. She smiled with a devilish gleam. "You offer me new ways?"

Encouraged, Tracate blatantly presented his plan. "I can be just the beginning. We can build the armies of Greece to conqueror the nations of the world."

The Conqueror took note of Tracate's use of 'we'. "I have my generals."

"Who are happy to sit idle." Tracate nodded toward Jared. "You need new, young blood."

The Conqueror looked over her shoulder silently affirming Tracate's reference. "You are not shy in expressing your opinions."

"I say…" Tracate paused, distracted. He stared at Gabrielle. He shifted his perception imagining her with long blond hair. He knew her well. He laughed. "Well, well. Bri. You have come up in the world. I almost didn't recognize you."

Gabrielle remained still, her appeal to the Gods for mercy denied.

Jared was sharp. "Shut up, Tracate."

"General, is she yours?" Tracate taunted. "Bri's a pretty thing when cleaned up. I pray she's warmer in your bed than she was in mine."

Xena stared at the man in complete disbelief. That he referred to Gabrielle as Bri - a nickname Gabrielle disliked, and given Gabrielle's countenance, proved that the exchange was not one of mistaken identity. Xena looked over to Gabrielle. Gabrielle dropped her head.

Xena directed her question to Tracate. "You know this woman?"

"Know her?" Tracate laughed derisively. "She was my slave. A disappointment from the first. Willful bitch. I have broken mad horses more easily than her."

"What is the name of our Queen?" Xena demanded.

Tracate was confused by the question. He answered it assuredly. "Lady Gabrielle." He stopped. He knew the Conqueror had taken a former slave as her Queen. He never thought Bri to be the same woman.

Xena removed her sword from its scabbard. She heard movement behind her. She did not mind it, determined to gut the pig in front of her.

"No." Gabrielle placed her hands on Xena's sword arm.

A defiant Xena turned to Gabrielle.

Tracate moved his hand toward his sword.

Jared warned. "Tracate, don't even think about it."

Xena spoke sharply. "He raped you!"

Gabrielle responded gently. "I was his slave. Under the law he had the right. Xena, when his time comes Hades will give him a just sentence. Killing him here will do me no good."

Xena's rage churned. She turned to Tracate. She glared. "Get out of my sight."

Tracate felt the full force of the Conqueror's fury. He reined his horse. Trevor, Dymas and Judais witnessed the exchange, quickly assessing the acute danger confronting their companions. For Judais the revelation shamed him deeply.

Xena watched Tracate leaving, tasting the bile of hatred she refused to swallow. She jerked her sword arm free from Gabrielle's hold. She signaled Argo forward. Standing a good ten paces away from the others she recalled recent events. Many, but not all of her questions had been answered. Xena turned Argo about. Her gaze found and held Jared. She accused with undisguised menace. "You knew."

Jared spoke plainly. "Yes, My Liege."

Gabrielle interjected fearful for the General's life. "I swore Jared to silence."

Xena's gaze traveled from Jared to Gabrielle. In one quick burst Xena pulled away and galloped back to the military line.

Gabrielle watched Xena draw back to the army. Argo sped, carrying her mistress through the line of soldiers unimpeded. Overwhelmed, Gabrielle's body trembled uncontrollably. "Oh, Gods."

Jared guided his stallion to stand beside his ward. He placed his hand on Gabrielle's shoulder. He offered no words of assurance. As much as he wished Xena would see reason, his confidence wavered. On this day, fortune had not smiled on either him or Gabrielle.

Xena rode to camp, released Argo's reins to a groom and entered her tent leaving orders she was not to be disturbed. Driven by her darkest nature, she was not thinking. She did not want to think. There was murder in her heart, a desire for vengeance against Tracate. There was also the profound wound carried by one who believed she had been betrayed. She had given Jared and Gabrielle every opportunity to be truthful. They had yet to learn that withholding the truth was equal to a lie. They had yet to learn that the truth would not be denied. She wanted nothing to do with the two. They compromised her position. She felt the humiliation that often accompanies the breach of a trust.

Jared and Gabrielle led the army back to camp, each in their own thoughts, both addressing the consequences of their respective choices, both coming to the painful conclusion that their relationships with Xena were forever altered. To what extent neither knew.

Jared had no regrets. He still believed honoring Gabrielle's request was for the best. Gabrielle, in turn, felt she should have sacrificed her privacy the moment that keeping it placed Xena at a disadvantage. Upon first hearing Tracate's name spoken, she had an obligation to warn Xena that her history with the man could be used against them both. Gabrielle doubted that an apology would be enough to reconcile the breach of trust. She had to prepare herself for any outcome short of physical violence. She had no fear of Xena's hand. She did fear that Xena would banish her from Corinth.

Immediately after their arrival at camp, Jared and Gabrielle were informed of the Conqueror's orders. Their wait was not done; the wronged party would dictate the wait.

Xena reacted tempestuously to a rap against her tent entrance. "What is it?"

Jared entered. He found Xena sitting alone in a chair, radiating tension. He addressed the Conqueror formally. "My Liege, Stephen's unit hasn't returned. I've sent two search parties for him."

"Damn the Gods!" Xena had had enough of the day. She stood up, her mounting frustration finding no relief. "Anything else?" She dared the General.

Jared accepted the dare and broached the personal. "Xena, at the time I learned Tracate's name, he was no threat to Greece."

Xena would now have answers to her lingering questions. "How long have you known?"

"A couple moons after you brought Gabrielle back to Corinth from the east garrison."

The timing surprised her. "How did you come to know it?"

Jared went back to the days when he stood helpless witness to what seemed an incomprehensible rupture between Xena and the younger woman Xena had grown to love deeply. "When Gabrielle refused to accept your proposal to be openly with you I suspected that her expected presence at Court had influenced her decision. I took it upon myself to learn all I could about her transfer to Corinth. In the process I confirmed that two members of Court had dealings with slavers. They had… contact… with Gabrielle while she waited to be sold. She could not face them. She did not want them killed. So, I arranged for them to be escorted out of the realm. I learned more than their names. I also learned the name of her original owner in Serdica. I gave Gabrielle my word that you would never be told."

Xena's anger eased. "And when Judais asked for Tracate's commission?"

"You will have no officer who owns slaves or rapes women. Tracate was not an acceptable candidate. Gabrielle's name did not need to be disclosed."

"If you had to do it again, would you have kept the truth from me?"

Jared had no doubt. "Yes."

Xena felt a renewal of her injury. "You choose your ward over your Sovereign."

"I love you both." Jared stepped forward. "I did what I thought was best."

Xena turned aside. "I will not hold your allegiance to Gabrielle against you. But neither will I forget that your allegiance stands between us. This is not the first time you have chosen her over me and I am certain it will not be the last." She faced him. "Enough has been said. Go now and keep me informed of our search for Stephen."

Jared accepted his charge. He had taken the first step toward earning Xena's confidence. It would take time to be welcomed back without qualification.

Gabrielle and Trevor walked away from the meal tent. Trevor's attempt to have the Queen eat was futile. She picked at her food taking no more than a few bites. The men in the tent did not ask for a story. Though both Trevor and Dymas, as witnesses to the day's events refused to tell what happened between the Conqueror and Tracate, it was obvious that the confrontation had not gone as the Conqueror would have liked and that for reasons beyond their ability to speculate, a consequence of the confrontation was that the Conqueror had refused the Queen.

"Lady Gabrielle!" Judais walked to her. "A private word, Your Majesty?"

Though he had never harmed her, Gabrielle was tempted to deny his request. Instead she assured Trevor. "It's all right."

Trevor stepped away.

Judais was determined to ease the Queen's suffering by placing the responsibility for the past where it rightfully belonged. "I am ashamed that Tracate is of my kin. I know there is nothing I can do to right the wrong you suffered by him. My militia is at the Conqueror's command. We will send him to Tartarus."

Gabrielle appreciated Judais' gesture, misdirected as it was. "You have served the Conqueror's needs, not mine."

Sincerely, Judais requested. "Name what I can do for you."

"I know better than to ask you to free your slaves. I do ask that you guarantee their well-being."

The noble was relieved that he met her expectations. "You ask nothing more than I already provide."

Gabrielle believed him. "Then consider following the Conqueror's example and free your slaves after a set period of indenture. Are you not rich enough, Sir?"

Judais considered her request. He was rich enough to fund more than one lifetime. "Is five years a fair expectation?"

Gabrielle pressed. "The Conqueror has set three years in her household with an opportunity to remain as a servant at a living wage."

"Four years then. Upon my homecoming, a good third of my slaves will know their freedom."

Gabrielle offered the noble a gentle smile. "They will thank you."

Judais would not be thanked. "They will be told to thank their Queen."

Night fell, forcing Gabrielle to make a decision. She had taken temporary shelter in the infirmary. She could choose to make a bed for herself in the back of the large tent or return to the Royal quarters. Jared had come to her after his interview with Xena. He was optimistic that his wounded friendship with the warrior would mend with time. He encouraged Gabrielle to seek Xena out.

Knowing Xena, Gabrielle anticipated a severe meeting. Jared's offense was honoring Gabrielle's request. Xena respected anyone who placed himself in peril to protect her partner. Seen in such a light Jared's actions were noble.

Gabrielle had been the instigator of the deception. She had withheld a truth. She remembered the day, fearful she was pregnant with Inis' child, she readied herself to leave Corinth. Xena made only one request of her. She asked for the truth. Gabrielle braved her fears and shared the truth. Her life was forever changed. On that day, secrecy set aside, she was able to accept Xena's proposal. She would be Xena's Queen.

Gabrielle entered the royal tent. Xena sat sitting up on their bed of furs, the space surrounding her lit by an oil lamp.

"Xena," Gabrielle called to her.

Xena raised and held her gaze upon the younger woman.

Gabrielle chose to return to their beginning. "You never asked me who I had been sold to. There had to be a reason."

The warrior spoke gravely. "You're right. It was the same reason I didn't want to know about Inis. When I touch you I don't want them in my mind - whether lover or rapist." She got to her feet and walked to her desk. There she raised a decanter of wine and poured a generous portion of the liquid in a goblet. She drank from the cup. It was not her first drink that night. She turned to Gabrielle. Her passions rose as she spoke. "If I had a choice between living with the image of you with them and having Greece in peace or not knowing and having Greece in a civil war, I would have stopped the war. I would not have imperiled the lives of Grecian soldiers, or sacrificed the farms and shops of the Grecian people that have been decimated by Tracate's raiders."

The magnitude of her error further humbled Gabrielle. "I'm sorry."

Xena found no merit in Gabrielle's atonement. "Don't tell me you're sorry. You can't begin to right this wrong."

Gabrielle knew she was at a disadvantage. She had to find a way to cut through the effect of the intoxicating wine. "I thought of you."

"You did not!" Xena slammed the cup down, spilling what contents remained. "You thought only of yourself. You can never truly be my Queen. I have tried time and time again to see you to the throne. At each opportunity I have given you to claim your station, you have left me and Greece to wallow in your self-pity. This time you took Jared down with you. You corrupted the only man I trusted with my life, and with the good of Greece."

Stunned, Gabrielle accepted that on this night she had no chance of reaching Xena. She went to the tent exit. Stopping, feeling the injustice of Xena's accusation, she turned around. "You give me too much credit. This fight would have happened whether Tracate had been given his commission or not. I know him, Xena. By rejecting him, his tactics became more obvious. He didn't get his chance to infiltrate your army and turn them against you."

Xena was not placated. "He wouldn't have lived through his first words of treason."

Gabrielle retorted. "If he approached a Guardsman, yes. I'm not so sure with the army."

Xena leaned forward on her desk. "So, you did me a favor and I should be grateful."

"No." Gabrielle shook her head. She would not go so far as claim she acted for the greater good.

Xena charged. "You never lie, Gabrielle. But, you never tell me the whole truth. Your silences are lies."

"I didn't want him dead!" Gabrielle's own anger flared.

It was that assertion that demarked Gabrielle from Xena. Xena wanted Tracate dead. She wanted him to know how it felt to be scourged as he had scourged Gabrielle. Xena wanted to personally inflict the lash on his body as recompense. She wanted him to wear scars comparable to Gabrielle's. Xena could not honor Gabrielle's request. What Gabrielle called vengeance, Xena called justice. There was no changing the world if there were no consequences for wrongs committed, especially wrongs that could not be undone, wrongs that haunted a gentle woman's dreamscape causing her to push away her lover in the middle of the night, fearful that who lay beside her was intent on committing a heinous crime against her. Xena had despised Tracate long before she knew his name. She hated him because by his acts against Gabrielle, Xena knew her own crimes with an unbearable intimacy. She could not face herself. She could not face Gabrielle.

"You are not my Queen!" Xena's declaration came with measured precision. "You haven't the courage. Go cower away in a past that should have no hold upon you. You betrayed me. You betrayed Greece." Xena flung the cup to the ground. "Get out!"

Gabrielle backed out of the tent, stumbling as she did. Nearby at different stations, hidden in the shadows stood Samuel, Trevor and Jared. Gabrielle walked to the center of the quiet camp. She looked up to the stars. She shared the stars often with Xena, the same woman who on this night would have nothing to do with her. Gabrielle questioned whether Xena was right. Did she cower in her past? Did she lack the courage to lead Greece? Had her actions been an unforgivable betrayal, the cause of which was a shame that could never be rooted out of her soul, leaving her always a risk to the realm?

Xena had assured Gabrielle that participating in the government of Greece, specifically Court, was never required of her. The truth was that she did participate through her influence upon Xena. It was not the decisions Gabrielle shied from; it was Court.

She was still the peasant from Poteidaia taken against her will and stripped of her dignity. She was at home privately with Xena, and less privately with the Guardsmen and the palace household. She was at home with the villagers she visited and cared for as a healer or entertained as a bard. She was never at home as Queen to nobles or visiting dignitaries.

Xena was patient with her and would have remained patient with her if she had not breached Xena's one uncompromising expectation - to always be truthful. Gabrielle searched her soul. She understood her transgression and she understood what drove her to it. She needed to determine if she could become what Xena ultimately asked of her - to be Queen of Greece.

The morning came without word of Stephen and his men's whereabouts. Seeking an outlet for her frustrations, Xena joined the Guardsmen's’ sparring matches. She began with hand-to-hand combat. After pummeling the best fighters, she shifted to the sword. The thrashings continued. Guardsmen watching pitied their brothers. None walked away without cuts or contusions.

Gabrielle, staff in hand, entered the circle. Attentively, she watched the contest of skills. Against the Conqueror there was no match. The fate of her opponents was foreordained. Samuel stood by Gabrielle. She placed her hand on his arm, a sign for him to stay his place. Gabrielle stepped forward into the field of engagement. Her brothers recognized the unspoken challenge she posed to her partner.

Xena caught sight of Gabrielle standing in wait. She raised her sword, a signal to a grateful Guardsman that she was done making sport of him. Xena sheathed her sword, walked to the weapons master and retrieved a staff. She balanced the staff in her hands, satisfied with its well-distributed weight.

As Gabrielle stepped further into the center, Samuel retreated in search of Jared and Trevor. Gabrielle presented her staff. Xena approached, maintaining a handful of paces between them. She welcomed the opportunity to teach a lesson. She presented her staff and nodded.

Gabrielle studied the warrior who she knew well. Xena had honed Gabrielle's weapons skills. In the process Gabrielle learned Xena's strengths and weaknesses. The younger woman moved to the left, seeking a reasonable opportunity for a first strike. For a moment her thoughts drifted to the previous night. It had been long and lonely, replete in self-crimination. She could not bear another night like it. On this day she sought resolution. She was willing to risk her life to achieve closure, whether that closure brought her back to Xena or left her exiled.

From Gabrielle's first blow, the sparring match was not familiar in tone. There was no rhythmic warm-up. Xena's strikes embodied the full extent of her power. Soon Gabrielle found herself breathing rapidly, her heart pounding from the exertion. There was no shared banter. They fought without the sound of human voice. Each meeting of staff resounded with the sharp cracks of wood against wood, no less loud than a hammer against an anvil. The men that surrounded them were uneasy spectators.

Xena wore no taunting grin, made no sarcastic gestures. She took no pleasure in the confrontation. She was angry. She focused on the exchange, restraining her emotions by her will.

The sparring continued as three men joined the circle. Of the three Jared knew the combatants best. Each woman demonstrated unerring skill. He was impressed by Gabrielle's stamina, though it did not compare with the Conqueror's. Gabrielle was weakening. He judged it would not be long before the Conqueror would take the offensive. As the thought crossed his mind, Xena charged Gabrielle with relentless stokes, seizing the advantage. Gabrielle deflected the blows, aware that failure could end her life. She saw the fire in Xena's eyes; felt the warrior's singular determination to overpower her. Xena forced Gabrielle to her knees. Gabrielle consciously presented herself to Xena's mercy by shifting her staff in an uncharacteristic angle, leaving her upper-body exposed. Xena held her staff at shoulder height aiming a lethal blow.

Trevor jerked forward anxiously. "The Conqueror will kill Gabrielle!" he cried as Jared restrained him.

"No she won't." Jared warned, "But if you interfere, she will kill you."

Trevor restlessly held his position.

Gabrielle kept her staff lowered, not in surrender, but in trust that the Conqueror's wrath would not physically wound her.

Aware that she was presenting a blow that would kill Gabrielle, aware that Gabrielle took no action to protect herself, Xena's suspended her rage. Gabrielle was submitting to Xena's justice before a congregation of her brothers. Xena dropped her staff in a violent stroke. She stood over Gabrielle. They were not done. Closure to their confrontation would not come as easily as a blow. Xena knelt on one knee beside Gabrielle. Her bearing did not betray the fact that she trembled to her core. She whispered so no one other than Gabrielle could hear her. "Would you have me kill you?"

Gabrielle responded in an equal whisper. "No, My Lord."

Gabrielle's use of her endearment impressed itself upon Xena. Xena felt everything that the endearment meant to Gabrielle and to her. "What would you have me do?"

Gabrielle cast her eyes down. "Forgive me."

Xena continued to speak in a measured, almost inaudible tone. "Nothing will change if I do. The day will come when we will face each other again. Once, I can forgive, and I have. This is the second time you have withheld the truth from me. I have no confidence that there won't be a third. Why should I expose myself to your failing once again?"

Gabrielle looked up, her gaze upon Xena's profile. "My Lord, I have no more secrets."

Xena turned her eyes to Gabrielle. "How can I know that to be true?"

Gabrielle held to their connection. "I swear it."

"And what happens when you are left to face your past again?"

Gabrielle bowed her head. Her voice quaked. "I will place Greece before all else."

There was no more to say. The lesson had been taught. "So be it." Xena stood up and walked away.

Jared followed her, waiting until they were well past the other Guardsmen. He reached out and placed his hand on Xena's arm as he spoke her name.

Xena stopped. "Jared, not now!"

Jared demanded. "What passed between you and Gabrielle?"

Once again Xena felt Jared's allegiance was not with her. "A confession and an oath."

"Do you stand by her?"

Xena was rueful. "What life would I have without Gabrielle?" She swung her arm free and continued to walk away.

It was after evening meal when Jared entered the Conqueror's tent. Xena sat at her desk. She looked at him, waiting.

"Tracate staked Stephen in the field for the scavengers to pick apart."

Xena had prepared herself for the loss of Stephen. Notwithstanding, the confirmation of his death grieved her. She nodded dispassionately. Xena had exercised her greatest patience. She had been determined to wait for Tracate's next move. She suspected a calculated raid. In fact, she invited such a raid by not reinforcing her defenses. He did not take the bait. Instead, he chose to provoke her at a distance. She had doubled the search for Stephen. There was no sign of him, his men or their horses in the surrounding environs or in Tracate's camp. With Stephen's capture confirmed; she reasoned that Tracate had hidden the men and horses either in tents or nearby caverns. Whether he realized it or not, by his own making she was now Tracate's worst nightmare.

Jared made his intentions known. "I will go out tonight and bring him back. He deserves a proper funeral."

"No." Xena forbade. "It's suicide."

The general was not deterred. "He's staked like a battered scarecrow. I'm willing to take the risk."

"No," Xena repeated, her voice low, uncompromising.

"There's no moon," Jared reasoned.

Xena slammed her fist upon her des