I Found My Heart in San Francisco: Book 15

 

Osmosis

 

A gradual, often unconscious process of absorption or learning

 

By SX Meagher

 

 

 

 

Part Five

 

 

It took her a day to decide, but once Mia had made up her mind, she told Jordan. Even though it was just 5:30 in the morning and Jordan was barely awake, she scooted over to her, closing the gap that had grown between them during the night. Jordan’s hair was loose and it lay haphazardly across her pillow. Mia swept a handful of it from Jordan’s shoulder and pressed her lips to her lover’s ear, kissing it tenderly.

 

“I’m not going to Russia,” she said. Her hand was resting on Jordan’s waist, and she felt the quick intake of breath as her lover woke up and made sense of what she was saying.

 

Turning and swiping at the hair tickling her eyes, Jordan tried to see Mia’s face, but she was facing the wall and didn’t have enough room to turn over. Blindly, she reached out and patted Mia’s hip, their signal for more space. Mia moved just enough for Jordan to be able to roll over and face her. “Are you sure?” Jordan asked. Her expression gave nothing away. They could have been talking about what to have for breakfast.

 

“Yeah, I am.”

 

Jordan was searching Mia’s face—her cool, blue eyes darting from her eyes to her lips. “Wanna tell me why?”

 

“Sure.” Mia put her hand on the small of her lover’s back and pulled her closer. “Jamie helped me think it through. Even though she might not know it.” One blonde eyebrow lifted. “I talked to her on Sunday when you were working out. I told her that I didn’t really want to be alone when you were playing, and I didn’t have the money to go on a good tour.”

 

“We have enough—”

 

“Shh,” Mia said, gently pressing her finger to Jordan’s lips. “I know you would have paid for me to go anywhere I wanted to go, honey, but I felt guilty about using our money for myself.” Jordan started to speak again, but Mia stroked her cheek and said, “Let me finish, babe.”

 

“Do I ever get to talk?”

 

“Yes.” Mia smiled at her. “You can say anything you want.”

 

“Uhm … I wanna know how Jamie helped you.”

 

Kissing her quickly, Mia said, “That’s what I was getting to. I know what’s on that little mind.” She tapped Jordan’s forehead, then kissed it. “Jamie arranged for me to use the tour guide she and her family used when they went to Russia when she was in high school. She was going to pay for anything I wanted to do and even tip the woman.”

 

“Damn!” Jordan blinked, then her smile faltered. “You were gonna let her pay for you?”

 

“Yeah. I was. I know that’s not my usual reaction, but if I thought you needed me to go, I was going to let her pay for me to really experience Russia. She made me see that it’s a huge waste to go on a trip like that and not get something out of it.”

 

Jordan’s forehead was wrinkled in confusion. “But … that made you decide not to go.”

 

“Yeah. Once I didn’t have the excuse of not having the money to see stuff, I had to look at what made the most sense. And I decided that we’d both be better off if I didn’t go this time.”

 

“Okay.” Jordan still looked puzzled, but she was nodding thoughtfully.

 

“I spent some time actually talking to our roommates on Saturday,” Mia said. “Don’t look so shocked!”

 

“I am! Have you ever talked to any of ’em when I’m not around?”

 

“No, but that’s partly because they’re not here if you’re not here. Anyway, I talked to Jill and Toni about what it’s like to play in a tournament like that. Toni said that her husband went to a few international tournaments with her when she was on her first team, but he stopped pretty quickly.”

 

“How come?”

 

“Too much pressure. Toni said that she was so focused that she completely ignored him and his feelings were hurt the whole time they were traveling. They convinced me that you’d be a nervous wreck playing in your first big tournament and that being around the other players would be better for you than hanging out with me.”

 

Scowling, Jordan said, “I’d always rather be with you.”

 

“I know, honey, but I think they have a good point. You can bond with your teammates better if you’re not rushing to get back to me. And I can go to Berkeley for a week and see my parents and check on my classes and hang with J & R. We can each fill ourselves up with the things that mean a lot to us.”

 

Jordan wasn’t smiling, but her face was relaxed and she looked untroubled. “That sounds good. Not what I really want, but I think you’re right.”

 

Mia reached up and slid her thumb across Jordan’s forehead. “If you need me to go with you, I will. You don’t have to ask twice.”

 

“No, no, I think Jill and Toni know what they’re talking about. I’m glad you asked ’em. I should have thought of that.”

 

Squeezing Jordan’s bicep, Mia said, “You’re the brawn. I’m the brains in this operation.”

 

Jordan wrapped Mia in a bear hug and rolled onto her back. Nose to nose, she said, “We’re in big, big trouble!”

 

***

 

Tuesday morning, Ryan nodded at Ellen when she opened the door. Just as Ellen started to give her a questioning look, the outside door opened and Barb rushed in, breathing heavily. “Slow bus,” she said.

 

“You’re right on time,” Ellen said. They went in and got settled, then Ellen said, “Since Barb has to catch her breath, why don’t you start, Ryan? Anything to report?”

 

“Yeah.” Ryan fidgeted a little. “This is gonna sound strange, but I had a good weekend, partially because my lover broke her arm.” She glanced quickly at Barb and Ellen, but neither reacted very strongly.

 

“Go on,” Ellen said. “I’m sure there’s more.”

 

Ryan laughed. “Yeah, there’s more. I hated to see her get hurt, of course. She’s never had a major injury before and it’s really hard for her. I think she’s having a hard time realizing her body’s not as impervious as she thought it was.”

 

Ellen nodded, looking interested but saying nothing.

 

“But even though I’m upset for her, I’m not upset about her.” She looked at both women. “Know what I mean?”

 

“I think I do, but tell us how that’s different for you,” Ellen said.

 

“I’m not … worried or anxious about her. I was afraid that I’d be freaked out if she broke a nail, but this shows it’s not that way at all.” She was smiling brightly, her energy level so high that she was practically hovering above the sofa. “I’m not worried about everything, just the thought of someone hurting her.”

 

“That must feel really good,” Barb said. “But I bet you can’t tell her,” she added, chuckling.

 

She laughed, looking more relaxed than she ever had in the room. “No, I don’t have the guts to tell her that I’m happy I’m not more upset about her breaking her elbow. I’ve learned something in the past year.”

 

“I’m happy for you, Ryan,” Ellen said. “And I can see why it’s a relief to feel that your anxiety is more limited than you’d thought.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I feel like it’s not such a big battle now, like there’s a chance I can get over this if it’s limited to worrying about violence.”

 

“I’m sure you can get over it,” Barb said. “You don’t seem like the type who gives up easily.”

 

“Not so far,” Ryan said smiling.

 

***

 

After Jamie enjoyed her morning rituals, she went into the house and called her father’s office. It took a few minutes, but his secretary got him on the phone. “Hi, cupcake,” he said, sounding a little breathless.

 

“Bad time, Dad?”

 

“No, not at all. I was in the hallway talking to one of my esteemed colleagues.” He chuckled softly. “But since we were talking about golf, I think it can wait. How are you?”

 

“Pretty good. But I had an accident on Friday night and broke my elbow.”

 

“You what?”

 

His voice was so loud, Jamie was sure his secretary had heard him.

 

“Were you driving?”

 

“No. I wasn’t in a car. I fell … off a sidewalk.”

 

There was a pause and he started to laugh, obviously trying not to. “How much had you had to drink?”

 

“I wasn’t drinking,” she said, starting to laugh as well. “That’s what makes it worse. Falling off a sidewalk is bad enough, but to do it when you’re stone cold sober just makes you sound like a klutz.”

 

“I’m sorry for laughing, honey; the image just struck me. But there’s nothing funny about your being in pain. How exactly did it happen?”

 

“We were at a tournament in Arizona and I was outside with one of my teammates. She was sitting on a bench and when she got up, we kinda collided. She started to fall and I tried to stop her, but she pulled me over with her. I landed on top of her with my arm hurting like heck.”

 

“Ow! That sounds awful! Was she hurt?”

 

Not as badly as I wish she’d been. “Not really. Bruised her tailbone a little, but she can play.”

 

He made a whistling sound, then said, “Your season …”

 

“Over,” she confirmed. “The break isn’t bad. I chipped off the end of the bone that sticks out when you flex your arm. Luckily it didn’t affect the joint or anything. But it’s in a splint and will be for at least six weeks.”

 

 “Have you seen a good specialist? I can help—”

 

“Mom already called in her chits,” she said, laughing softly. “I saw the best orthopedist in the city yesterday. I’m gonna go later today to get a nifty splint that Mom insisted they custom make for me.”

 

“It sounds like she’s taking good care of you,” he said, sounding a little wistful.

 

“She and Ryan both. The doctor said I could wear the splint they made for me in Arizona, but Mom didn’t think it fit well enough, and she didn’t like his suggestion to wrap it up tighter.” She chuckled. “You know she won’t take no for an answer when she has her mind made up.”

 

“I … didn’t really know that about her until this last year.”

 

Jamie blinked, stunned that her father had revealed something so intimate … so embarrassing for a man who’d been married for over twenty years to admit. “Maybe she wasn’t always so forthright, but she is now,” she said, feeling a wellspring of pride in her mother’s growth over the past year.

 

“I screwed up my marriage by not knowing your mother as well as I should have,” Jim said. “I don’t want to make that mistake with you. Why don’t I come home this weekend and spend a little time with you?”

 

“Ooo … this isn’t the best weekend, Dad. We have a three-day tournament at Stanford, and even though I’m not gonna play, I told my coach I’d ride around in the cart and help him keep track of things. How about … the week after that? Ryan’s in a softball tournament at Stanford and we’ll be staying with Mom.”

 

“I … could … sure,” he said, his indecision momentary. “I’ll stay at my apartment in the city, get a little work done at my local office.”

 

“Great. Just don’t make plans for Saturday. I’d like you to go to the game with me.”

 

“I’d like that too.”

 

“Oh … uhm … Mom usually goes. Will that make you uncomfortable?”

 

“No, honey.” His voice sounded so sad that Jamie’s heart clenched in sympathy. “Your mother doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all. But you’d better ask her the same thing. If she doesn’t want me there, I’ll just see you another time.”

 

“Okay, Dad,” she said. “I’ll mention it to her, but I’m sure she won’t mind. She didn’t mind your bringing Kayla to my birthday party, so why would she mind now?”

 

“I won’t bring Kayla this time,” he said. “I want to spend time with you.”

 

“Oh … okay. That’ll be nice. Would you like to me come get you at the airport? Oh, wait, I can’t drive my car.”

 

“Don’t even think of it, Jamie. It’s nice of you to offer, but I can take a limo or have someone from my office come get me. It’s a nice way to have a meeting while stuck in traffic.”

 

“Okay. But you’ll call me when you get in, right?”

 

“Absolutely. I’m looking forward to seeing you, honey.”

 

“Me too, Dad. See you in … a week or so.”

 

***

 

After Ryan had shared her news about Jamie the trio resumed talking about the same topic they’d started at the previous session. “We spent most of last time talking about Ryan,” Ellen said, “and I think we did a pretty thorough job of giving her our impressions of her. Ready for your time in the hot seat, Barb?”

 

“No, but I never am,” she said grimly. “Hit me.”

 

As Barb had done the previous week, Ryan composed her thoughts, faced Barb and said, “I’ve been thinking about what you told me one of the first weeks I was here. You said that you were going to quit the police force because you didn’t think you could stand to do the job again.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

 

“Do you still feel that way?”

 

“I think so. I can go back if the police psychologist clears me, or I can go on permanent disability. But I don’t wanna go through all of the stuff I’d have to do to get disability. I’d probably just quit.”

 

“How many years do you have in?” Ryan asked.

 

“Seven. Lucky seven.”

 

“And how long were you and … Phil?”

 

“Yeah, Phil,” Barb said, her face taking on the mask of pain it always carried when she talked about her partner on the force.

 

“How long were you partners?”

 

“Two years. My first partner retired. They try to put rookies with an older cop if possible. Phil and I were peers. He was just two years older than me.”

 

“I think,” Ryan said, her eyes narrowing a little, “that you hold yourself to a higher standard than the rest of the world does.”

 

“Mmm … the world’s standards aren’t very high in my book,” Barb said.

 

“No, but the police department’s are. And if they determined you weren’t negligent in your partner’s death—I believe them. They go over things like that more carefully than anything they do. And if they thought you did anything … anything …wrong, you would have been called on it. True?” she asked, staring at Barb.

 

“Yeah, that’s mostly true. Nobody would want to partner with someone who they thought had been given a pass.”

 

“Do you think anyone would want to partner with you?”

 

Barb squirmed in her seat. “Yeah. Everybody I’ve talked to said it wasn’t my fault. A couple of people have said they’d like to pair up with me if I go back.”

 

“But you don’t trust them?”

 

“Hell, yeah, I trust ’em! That’s not it.”

 

“You don’t trust yourself,” Ryan said, and Barb nodded. “I know what that’s like, I really do. But I don’t know what it’s like to accidentally kill someone I cared about.”

 

“Nobody does,” Barb said. “Well, most people don’t. The lucky ones don’t.”

 

“No matter what you do, you’re always gonna struggle with Phil’s death. But other cops know what it’s like to shoot someone. They know what it’s like to make the kind of decision you made the day Phil died. If you go into some job where people don’t understand the stress—you’re gonna feel even more alone—more cut off.”

 

“Not many people have shot their partners,” she mumbled.

 

“Probably true. But it could happen to anyone at any time. Other cops know that. They don’t wanna think about it, but they all know it. They’ll have more empathy for you than anybody else, Barb. They’re your best support group. Going back to work and getting on with your career is the best thing you could do for yourself.”

 

“I just don’t think I can face anyone,” Barb said, her jaw starting to tremble. “I haven’t seen anyone from the force since the funeral.”

 

“That’ll be hard,” Ryan said. “But there’s someone you have to face every minute … and that’s yourself. You’ve said that I’m not a quitter … well, you’re not either. No woman who goes through the police academy is a quitter. I worry about you because I think you’re gonna hate yourself if you quit. If you give up now, you’ll always feel like you ran away. I hate to say it this way, but you will have run away. And that’s something that I think you’ll always be ashamed of.”

 

“That’s what stops me from quitting,” Barb said. “I hate quitters. I’ve wanted to put a slug through my head a dozen times, but that would be the easy way out.” Her jaw stuck out in defiance, and she looked more self-confident than Ryan had ever seen her. “That’s what a coward would do.”

 

“You’re no coward,” Ryan said. “The people who investigated the accident know that, your fellow cops know that, and I know you know that. You just have to make yourself believe it.”

 

“Easier said …”

 

“I know that. People have been telling me to forgive myself ever since the day of our carjacking, but I’m my toughest critic. I think that’s true for you, too.”

 

“Yeah, it is. Phil’s girlfriend and his mother keep telling me that it wasn’t my fault, but that makes me feel worse. It’s hard for me to face either one of them, and seeing them upset about me just makes me … wanna scream. They shouldn’t waste their time thinking about me.”

 

“They care about you,” Ryan said softly. “And if they held you responsible … even a little … they probably wouldn’t be able to face you.”

 

“Maybe.” She shrugged and looked away. “I don’t know.”

 

There was a pause and Ellen said, “I think Barb has a pretty good idea of how you see her situation, Ryan. Do you have any questions for Ryan, Barb?”

 

“No, but I’m gonna think about what you said about the cops being a good support group. Maybe I’ll be able to make up my mind about going back if I start to talk to one or two of the people I used to hang out with. Get a feel for how they think it’d go for me if I went back.”

 

“It couldn’t hurt,” Ryan said. “I know a lot of cops, and they’re usually good at giving it to you straight.”

 

Barb gave her a half smile. “Without a doubt.”

 

***

 

Ryan was just getting on her bike to ride home when her cell phone rang. “Ryan?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Robin Berkowitz.”

 

“Hi, Professor. What’s up?”

 

“Professor Skadden just got the results for the Putnam Competition. He’s going to announce them at 10:00 in the Common Room in Evans Hall. I thought you might like to be there.”

 

“Mmm … I was gonna work on my project today. I hate to waste the time.”

 

“Aw, come on. I’m calling all of the people I know who took it. Surely you’re curious.”

 

“Sure. I wanna know how I did, but I could have my girlfriend go by and check. She’s on campus today.”

 

The professor laughed. “You’re the most incurious woman I know!”

 

“No, not really. But since I wasn’t on the team …”

 

“No, but you know some of the people on the team, don’t you? You should come and support them.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Ryan said, laughing. “You guilt-tripped me into it.”

 

“Good. Now that that’s settled, I’d like to postpone our meeting for this afternoon, if possible. My husband lucked into a pair of tickets for the Giants’ opening day, and I can’t pass that up.”

 

“Now I know why you called,” Ryan joked. “You had an ulterior motive.”

 

“I always do. See you at 10:00.”

 

***

 

Ryan reached Jamie when her partner was half-dozing through a lecture on supply-side economics. “Hi,” Jamie whispered. “Thanks for making my pants vibrate. Most excitement I’ve had in an hour.”

 

“That bad, huh?”

 

“Macro economics is, quite possibly, the dullest course offered at this fine university. Luckily, a zillion people take it, so I can sit in the back row and pray for the clock to move. What’s up?”

 

“Are you free at 10:00?”

 

“Yeah, but I have class at 10:30.”

 

“I know that,” Ryan said, feigning offense. “I know your schedule. I just didn’t know if you had anything else going on.”

 

“No, no secret trysts today. I was just gonna go over my notes while they’re still pooled in a lifeless mass in my head.”

 

“Wanna meet me in your hall? They’re announcing the results of the Putnam.”

 

“It’s not my hall,” Jamie said, giggling at Ryan’s insistence that the math building, named Evans Hall, had been named for her. “God, it’s been forever! Did they have one guy grading ’em?”

 

“No, but almost three thousand people took it, and they have to grade them by hand.”

 

“They should do it the easy way and make it multiple choice.”

 

“I’ll put that in the suggestion box. See you a little bit before 10:00. It’s in the common room on the tenth floor. Save me a seat if you get there first.”

 

“Unless someone cuter comes in before you do.”

 

“Honey, I hate to sound like I’m full of myself, but this is the math department. Get real!”

 

***

 

Ryan slid into a seat next to Jamie in the large room overlooking the Bay. “No one cuter got here first, huh?”

 

Jamie leaned over and kissed her. “No, but I’m sure I could give some of these guys their first contact with a woman.” She surreptitiously looked around. “We might be the only non-virgins here.”

 

Ryan giggled and poked her partner with her elbow. “You’re very naughty today. I like it when you’re naughty.”

 

“I’m in a strangely good mood,” Jamie said. “It’s such a nice day for April. The sun makes me wanna do something … silly.”

 

“Hmm … silly, huh? Maybe we can think of something later.” She turned her head and nodded at the man in the front of the room. “That’s the esteemed Professor Skadden.”

 

“He’s the jerk who wouldn’t put you on the team, right?”

 

“He’s your man. Come to think of it, you might be able to give him his first contact with a woman.”

 

“Ugh! He dissed my baby. No nookie for him.”

 

Ryan turned and stared at her. “What’s gotten into you today?”

 

Grinning, Jamie shrugged. “Don’t know. I just feel playful.”

 

Ryan put her arm around her and said, “Shh … the great man is about to speak.”

 

The professor stood at the podium and adjusted his glasses, then he spoke in a flat, nasal voice. “I have the results from the 1999 Putnam Competition. The committee reports that twenty-nine hundred people sat for the test, and teams represented three hundred and forty-six schools.”

 

“Cal obviously didn’t win,” Ryan whispered, “or he would have started with that.”

 

“I don’t know,” Jamie said. “He doesn’t look like he knows how to build suspense.”

 

“The top five teams are as follows,” he said. “The University of Waterloo, Harvard University, Duke University, the University of Michigan, and the University of Chicago.”

 

Everyone in the room let out a disappointed sigh. People shifted around in their seats, and a few people started to get up.

 

“Some people from our department performed very well,” he said. People stopped moving and paid attention again. “We aren’t given team results lower than the top five, but Gabriel Dominguez placed third in the entire competition.”

 

Ryan let out a whoop and everyone in the auditorium applauded. “That’s Gabe,” Ryan said, pointing to a man who stood up and waved. “We’ve been in a lot of classes together. He’s real smart,” she added, wrinkling up her nose.

 

Professor Skadden continued, “Hiroshi Matsuhita, also on our team, placed ninetieth.

 

Ryan pointed out Hiroshi when he stood. “I don’t know him. I think he’s a freshman.”

 

“And lastly, Siobhán O’Flaherty …” Jamie grabbed Ryan’s arm and squeezed it hard. “…placed twenty-fifth and has been awarded the Elizabeth Lowell Putnam prize for particularly meritorious performance by a woman.”

 

Jamie kissed Ryan on the lips, squeezing her tight while the entire room looked on in stunned silence. Ryan broke away and stood, and, after a pause, the crowd applauded vigorously.

 

“Congratulations to all of you,” Professor Skadden said. “You should all be proud of your efforts.” He walked over to Gabe and shook his hand, and Hiroshi walked over to him to be congratulated, too.

 

“That’s so cool!” Jamie squealed. She put her good arm around Ryan and patted her hard on the back. “And you’re the best women! I could have told ’em that!” Ryan looked happy, but not as happy as Jamie expected. “What’s up? You’re not jazzed.”

 

Distracted, Ryan gave her a quick glance. “Oh, I am.” Jamie followed her eyes and saw her staring at Professor Skadden. “He should have mentioned me after Gabe. I came in twenty-fifth and Hiroshi came in ninetieth.”

 

“Oh … right!” Jamie glared at the elderly man.

 

Professor Berkowitz walked over and threw her arms around Ryan. “Glad you came?”

 

Ryan smiled at her. “You knew, didn’t you!”

 

“Yeah. I knew that you won the ELP, but I didn’t know how well you did. Damn, twenty-fifth place is awesome, Ryan.”

 

Sheepishly, Ryan nodded. “I’m happy, really happy. Especially because of how I had to take it.”

 

“I’d hate to see how you’d do if you hadn’t been on a bus all day after playing a basketball game!”

 

“Who knows? That might have relaxed me. I have an odd metabolism.”

 

“I’m really happy for you,” the professor said again. “I never cracked the magic one-fifty when I took it, and I took it four times!”

 

“Just goes to show it doesn’t mean much,” Ryan said, grinning at her.

 

“I’ve gotta go, but I’m really glad you two could make it. Good job!” She smiled at both of them, then was immediately approached by a student as she turned to go.

 

“She’s nice,” Jamie said.

 

“Yep. She’s nice and smart. My favorite combo.”

 

“You gonna go talk to your friend?”

 

“Yeah, as soon as Skadden takes off. He probably thinks there was a mistake in the grading.”

 

Jamie gazed at the back of Ryan’s head as her partner leaned forward, watching the professor chat with a few students. It wasn’t like Ryan to get upset about someone not noticing her or not giving her the respect she deserved, and it puzzled her. She put her hand on her back and said, “I think he’s leaving. Let’s go.”

 

Ryan grabbed her backpack and reached Gabe and Hiroshi as they were about to leave. “Hey, guys, good job,” she said, awkwardly hugging each man.

 

“You kicked some serious tail, O’Flaherty,” Gabe said, laughing. “Twenty-fifth is righteous!”

 

Hiroshi, whose English skills didn’t match his mathematical abilities, nodded politely and mumbled something like, “Good job. Nice.”

 

“You guys did great,” Ryan said. “But I didn’t hear Serban’s score.”

 

Gabe shrugged. “I’ll go check out the announcement when Skadden has his secretary post it. I think they list the top hundred and fifty.”

 

“Yeah,” Ryan said. “I think they do.” She smiled and shook each man’s hand and took Jamie by the hand to lead her out.

 

“Who’s this Serban … is that right?”

 

“He’s the third guy on the team. He got the spot I should’ve gotten … if Skadden wasn’t a sexist.”

 

“Well, I hope he’s learned his lesson. You did great, honey! And you beat all of the other women!”

 

Ryan made a face. “That doesn’t impress me. I think it sucks that they even give that award out. It’s like the ‘We know women can’t beat the men, so we have a special little prize for them’ award.”

 

“Ooo … that’s why you didn’t look happy.”

 

“Partly,” Ryan said, checking her watch. “Time for you to leave for class, punkin.”

 

“What are you gonna do?”

 

“I thought I’d go home and work on my project. Same as always.”

 

“Let’s do something silly,” Jamie said. “Just you and me.”

 

“You’re gonna skip class?”

 

“Yep. I haven’t missed this one except for one golf match. I’m due.” She kissed Ryan again. “And you’re due a little celebration!”

 

“You also gave a lot of the guys in the room a bonus,” Ryan said, chuckling. “Seeing two girls kiss probably shorted out some circuits in those tidy little brains. They may not have to resort to animé porn tonight.”

 

“Ack!” Jamie threw her hand over her mouth. “I kissed you! I mean, I really kissed you!”

 

“Sure did. I liked it,” Ryan said, linking her arm through Jamie’s.

 

***

 

When they were standing in the bright, warm sunshine, Jamie took out her cell phone and called her mother. “Hi, Mom,” she said. “Do you mind if we go get my splint tomorrow?”

 

“No, that’s fine. I thought you’d be in a hurry to get it, since it will fit so much better than the one you have.”

 

“I am,” she admitted. “But my sweetheart just found out she placed twenty-fifth out of almost six thousand people who took that big math test last fall. I think she deserves a treat!”

 

“Twenty-fifth! Goodness, that’s wonderful! She really is gifted, isn’t she?”

 

“Oh, she’s the most gifted little pixie in the world.” She stuck her tongue out at Ryan, reeling it back in just as it was nearly grabbed.

 

“She’s with you, isn’t she?” Catherine asked. “I can always tell. Your voice takes on the happiest tone.”

 

“That’s because she makes me happy. Always.” She blew Ryan a kiss.

 

“Can I speak with her?”

 

“Sure. Mom wants to say hi,” Jamie said.

 

Ryan took the phone. “Hi!”

 

“Hello to you! Congratulations on doing so well in that test. That’s quite an accomplishment.”

 

“Thanks. I was pleased.”

 

“So self-effacing,” Catherine said, gently chiding her. “Would you like to go out for a nice dinner tonight? Or do you two have plans?”

 

“No, we don’t have plans for tonight, do we, Jamie?” Jamie shook her head. “We’re free. But I have softball practice until six.”

 

“I’ll make reservations for seven,” Catherine said. “You don’t have to get too dressed up.”

 

Ryan smiled. “Thanks for that. You know I’d prefer not to wear shoes if I didn’t have to.”

 

“Any place I pick will probably require shoes, but I’ll try to keep it casual.”

 

“Thanks, Catherine. We’ll see you later.” She clicked off and smiled at Jamie. “Now what?”

 

“Hmm … what would you do if you could do anything this afternoon?”

 

“That’s easy. I’d go to opening day at PacBell Park.”

 

Jamie slapped at her gently. “Why don’t you tell me things like this? You know I could have easily gotten us tickets!”

 

“I know, I know. But I couldn’t have, and I hate to take advantage of your contacts and your money for things like that.” She shrugged, looking a little guilty. “I know you don’t like it, but I still feel that way.”

 

Jamie hugged her, then rubbed her back. “No, I don’t like it, but I like you, so I guess I have to live with all of your awful habits.”

 

“You bear it well,” Ryan said. She bent slightly and kissed the top of Jamie’s head.

 

Eyes lighting up, Jamie said, “I’ve got a brilliant idea. It won’t cost much and I can guarantee some fast driving and a unique experience.”

 

“Duh,” Ryan said, making a face. “When have I ever refused that combo?”

 

***

 

When they got home, Jamie made a few phone calls without allowing Ryan to hear any of them. At 11:00, she went into Ryan’s room and said, “Dress warmly, but in layers. And bring a jacket.” She paused, eyes narrowed in thought. “And an extra set of clothes.”

 

Ryan leaned back in her desk chair and gazed contemplatively at her partner. “Ooh, I love a mystery. Where could we be going that I might have to change? Hmm …” She scratched her head and said, “I hope it’s because you’re going to rip my clothes off me.”

 

“Maybe, if you play your cards right. Now get ready! We’ll barely make it as it is!”

 

***

 

Even though she didn’t know where they were going, Ryan drove Jamie’s car. She assumed they were going across the Bay Bridge to San Francisco, but Jamie had her turn at the exit for the Berkeley Marina. “Cool! We’re going sailing!”

 

“No, we’re not,” Jamie said. “But you’re warm.”

 

Ryan looked at her, her face showing puzzlement. “Uhm … I like to guess, but I have a feeling I’m missing some of the variables. It’s hard to solve an equation when you’re missing too many.”

 

“I barely passed Algebra I, so you’re wasting your breath making math analogies,” Jamie said, smirking. “But you won’t have to guess for long. Park anywhere in here.”

 

Ryan did and got out, spending a few seconds stretching. “Now where?”

 

“Pick up our bag?”  Jamie held up her splint, looking pathetic. “I’m injured.”

 

Ryan draped an arm around her and hefted the bag with her other hand. “I know you are,” she said, speaking as she would to Caitlin. “And I think it’s just awful and terrible.”

 

“Thank you.” Jamie smiled up at her and led her to the harbormaster’s office.

 

“This looks like it’s gonna cost —”

 

“Nope. It’s not. Really.” They went inside and Jamie smiled at the young man behind the desk. “Hi. I’d like the keys to slip number sixteen.”

 

The clerk smiled back, his gaze lingering a little longer than Ryan liked. “Name?”

 

“Evans. Jamie Evans.”

 

“Could I see some I.D?” She showed him her driver’s license and he nodded, looked through a registration book, and then turned it around. “Sign right on the X, next to the slip number.”

 

She complied, then gave Ryan a smile while the young man retrieved a set of keys. As he handed them over, he said, “She hasn’t been out this year, but we’ve been starting her every week. If you have any trouble, just let me know and I’ll come out and get ’er going for you, Jamie.”

 

The  combination of his familiar use of her name and the smile he gave Jamie, made Ryan want to rearrange his face.

 

Oblivious, Jamie said, “Thanks,” waving goodbye in her typically friendly way that inevitably made men want to follow her around like puppies.

 

As soon as they got outside, Ryan tucked her arm around Jamie possessively. “Jag-off can look all he wants, but I get to take you home.”

 

Jamie looked up at her, puzzled by her attitude. “Did I miss something?”

 

“Nah.” Ryan shook her head. “You never seem to notice how guys look at you. Bugs me sometimes.”

 

“I bug you or the guys bug you?”

 

“The guys.” Ryan grinned. “You can’t help being gorgeous.”

 

“Yeah. That’s me. Since Jordan’s been unavailable, Ralph Lauren keeps calling.”

 

“Go ahead, make fun. But I, and most of the men in the Bay Area, think you’re prime eye-candy.”

 

Jamie reached out and squeezed Ryan’s hand. “I love every delusional thought in that pretty head.”

 

Quickly over her disgruntlement, Ryan glanced around the docks, then back at Jamie. “Right now my head’s wondering what’s in slip sixteen.”

 

“Go down this aisle and you’ll find out.”

 

They turned and walked past a few boats, then Ryan stopped beside Jamie in front of a power boat. “Do you own this?”

 

Jamie shrugged. “Kinda. One Saturday when we were tailgating at a Stanford football game, my dad and some of his friends from college decided to buy a boat. I think they’d all had too many Bloody Marys,” she said, laughing. “They’ve had it for a long time … maybe ten years. I don’t think we’ve been on it more than ten times. Why my father wanted another boat when he spent almost every weekend down in Pebble Beach is a mystery.”

 

Ryan walked down the dock, coolly appraising the boat. “It looks … kinda small. I’d have pictured your father going in for something like…” she pointed at a bright red Cigarette boat berthed just a few slips away, “…that.” The sleek boat looked fast and dangerous, even just sitting placidly in the water.

 

“No. He’s not really into power-boating. They bought this one for skiing. We took it up to Lake Tahoe a couple of times, ’cause I’m not dumb enough to ski in the bay.”

 

“I am,” Ryan said, eyes dancing. “Or wake boarding. That’s what I’d really like to try.”

 

“I’ll drive for you anytime, baby, but I am not getting into the bay without a full wetsuit, and I don’t own one.”

 

“I own something you don’t?” Ryan clutched dramatically at her heart.

 

With a wry grin, Jamie said, “Yes, you do. Probably a lot of things judging from the stuff I’ve seen in your closet. I’ve never yearned to open my own sporting goods store.”

 

Ryan looked appraisingly out at the other crafts already out on the water. “I’d love to ski out here. You never see anyone doing it.”

 

Jamie cocked her head and gazed at her partner for a long moment. “Does it ever occur to you that there’s a reason other people don’t do it?”

 

“Nope.” Ryan gave her a happy smile. “I just figure I’m the first one who’s thought of it.”

 

“Delusional, but gorgeous; that’s my girl. Now, help me take off the cockpit cover and we can rock.”

 

Not wanting Jamie anywhere near the deck of the boat with her broken elbow, Ryan performed the task on her own. She stowed the cover as instructed and then held out a hand to help Jamie board safely. “I’ll cast off,” she said, jumping back out onto the dock.

 

Watching Ryan’s child-like exuberance, Jamie smiled. “Okay. I’ll start ’er up.” She sat down in the white contoured bucket seat on the right-hand side, and adjusted it to her liking. When she turned the key, Ryan’s eyes grew wide.

 

“Crap! How big are those engines?”

 

Jamie cupped her hand over her ear. “What?”

 

Realizing that her partner wouldn’t be able to hear her without a megaphone, Ryan made the hand signal for “Never mind.” Jamie let the boat idle for a while, then signaled Ryan, who released the docking lines and jumped aboard. “How big are the engines?” she asked, right into Jamie’s ear.

 

“Engine. Just one. An inboard diesel 350,” Jamie said. “Small boat, big engine. You do the math.”

 

“Physics,” Ryan said, grinning toothily. “Water displacement, weight, force, thrust … that’s physics.”

 

“That’s nice, honey. Now shut up, sit down, and hold on.”

 

Ryan’s eyes bugged out, but she did as she was told, settling herself in the seat next to Jamie. A few moments later, she was grateful for the instruction—except for the shut up part—when Jamie smoothly guided the small boat out of the slip and put it into gear. Though they were moving relatively slowly, Ryan could feel the force of the powerful engine, and was almost drooling at the thought of being able to open it up once they were free of the marina.

 

Jamie grinned when they left the calm, protected waters and she slowly eased the throttle forward. Ryan’s heart picked up at seeing the pleasure in her partner’s eyes at doing something a little risky. They were moving pretty quickly, the mist hitting them in the face and whipping their hair around—even though Ryan had tied hers back. “We can’t ski at this speed,” Ryan said, projecting her voice to be heard over the engine.

 

“We’re not going skiing!” Jamie smiled and shook her head. “You’d get hypothermia in two minutes!”

 

“Okay. Just riding around is fun. But you’ve gotta go faster to make me happy.”

 

“Wanna drive?” Jamie asked nonchalantly, already knowing the answer.

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Have you ever driven a power boat?”

 

“Nope. But I’m sure I could. How hard can it be?”

 

Ryan was smiling so brightly, that Jamie ignored her lack of experience and cut the throttle to switch seats. “Now, don’t go nuts,” she warned. “I’m not sure whether this engine could flip the boat, and I don’t wanna find out.”

 

Ryan scowled at her. “I’m not reckless. Just … reck-deficient.”

 

“It responds very quickly,” Jamie said. “Doesn’t take much to change direction, so don’t over steer. You do know that the stern turns when you steer, don’t you?”

 

“I forget what the stern is.” Ryan said with a grin. “Just let me play a little. I’ll go slow and see how it moves.”

 

She did as she’d promised, keeping the boat at low speed while she eased it through a series of gentle, then sharp turns. Then she increased the speed to see how that changed the dynamics. “You could easily lose your tail-end at full throttle,” she said. “Easily.”

 

“That’s the stern, by the way,” Jamie provided. “And it’s very easy to get into trouble with a small, fast boat. Add a little alcohol and you’ve got an express ticket to the trauma unit.”

 

“You’ve had enough trauma for one lifetime,” Ryan said, making a sad face when she looked at Jamie’s splint. “I’ll be a good girl.”

 

“You don’t have to be too good. Just don’t flip it.”

 

“Can I go anywhere I want?”

 

“Sure. But do me a favor and head down south. You’ll like it better there.”

 

“Cool. We can go under the Bay Bridge.” Ryan headed for the massive structure and gazed up in wonder as they passed underneath it. “Cool! Way cool!” Frowning, she said, “Could use a little maintenance. I’m gonna cross my fingers next time we drive over it.”

 

Ryan followed Jamie’s suggestion and continued to head south, picking up speed as they went. She kept increasing the speed until she began to doubt her ability to handle the boat, then backed off a hair. The thrill of the water flying in her face, the wind whipping her hair and clothes, and the thud of the boat hitting the small swells had Ryan giddy with happiness. “You sure do know how to give me a treat,” she yelled.

 

“That’s my job,” Jamie yelled back.

 

They continued hugging the coast until they approached the new ball park. “Looks so cool from this perspective!” Ryan marveled.

 

“Slow down!”

 

Ryan did, slowing until they could hear each other. “What?”

 

“Pull into the cove.”

 

Ryan grinned. “Really?”

 

“Yeah. If we hang out here and turn on the radio, we can listen to the game and catch home runs.”

 

“Cool!” Ryan slowly motored around, surprised at how many other people were doing the same thing.

 

“In case you haven’t noticed, there aren’t any brakes, so go super slow. When you get to where you want to be, just put it in neutral. I’ll set the anchor when you’re ready.”

 

Ryan looked at the stadium, then at the position of the other boats. There were sailboats and powerboats, and a row boat that made her wonder how in the heck it had gotten that far. She made a guess at how far a ball would have to travel to clear the low, right field fence, then said, “This is good.”

 

Jamie got up and moved carefully to the bow, where she opened a small hatch. She grabbed the anchor and tossed it. “Just let the current position the boat properly to keep us still.” When she got back to the cockpit, she said, “Good job.”

 

“You shouldn’t have been up there,” Ryan said. “I’m worried about your balance.”

 

“I’m fine,” Jamie assured her as she sat and turned on the radio, tuning it to the station that carried the Giants. The announcer was talking about the park, noting that the visiting Dodgers were just about to take batting practice.

 

“They won’t announce when a ball’s gonna reach the wall,” Ryan said, frowning. “Not like they will during the game.”

 

“True. But why would you want to hear an announcer describing batting practice?”

 

“So I’d know where to look to see a ball fly out.”

 

Jamie looked at her, a little puzzled. “I guess you’ll just have to look up.” With a little help from Ryan, she took off her jacket then leaned her seat back. Looking up into the clear, blue sky, she sighed dramatically. “La dolce vita, eh?”

 

“Oui,” Ryan said, grinning back. She lowered her seat as well, lacing her hands behind her head. “I guess I don’t mind some of your connections and some of your money.”

 

“My dad has to pay his quarter share every month, whether he uses the boat or not, so all we have to do is fill ’er up when we get back.”

 

“I don’t know how much that’ll cost, but it’s probably less than paying a scalper for tickets. I heard they were going for up to a thousand bucks.”

 

“I probably could have had my dad get us a pair,” Jamie said, shooting a glance at her partner, “but I know you don’t like that.”

 

“No, not so much. Although it was cool when he gave us the tickets his law firm had.”

 

“I don’t think he has access to those like he used to, but I’m sure they’d jump through hoops to give them to him if he asked.”

 

“That’s why I don’t like to ask.” Ryan took in the raised eyebrow. “He was powerful before, but now …” she shook her head, “he could get whatever he asked for.”

 

“I hope he doesn’t abuse his power,” Jamie said idly. “I’m sure it’s hard not to.”

 

They heard the crowd start to murmur, then people started to cheer. “Somebody must have hit one out,” Ryan said, craning her neck.

 

“Cool. The crowd will tell us what’s happening. That’s as good as having an announcer.”

 

They bobbed in the water, basking in the warm, sunny day. They could feel the excitement from the capacity crowd, and Ryan pointed out that pedestrians could stand just outside the stadium and watch the action through a large gate.

 

The announcer’s voice was soothing and calm, and the sun was making Jamie so sleepy that she wished she’d had an extra coffee before they’d left. The Giants were taking batting practice and she vaguely heard the crowd start to roar, just as Ryan tried to stand up. Jamie’s quick reflexes, combined with Ryan’s difficulty in getting out of the small cockpit, allowed her to throw herself at Ryan and grab her jeans pocket an instant before Ryan tried to jump into the water.

 

A ball made a splash about ten feet in front of their boat, and several nearby boats converged, trying to reach the ball before anyone else. Jamie yanked hard, pulling Ryan back down into her seat just a moment before another boat hit them just to the right of the bow. Their boat was pushed hard to the left, as they both shifted hard to the right. Hitting the gunwale with her right arm, Jamie yelped in pain.

 

“Fuck!” Ryan cried. “Mother-fucker hit us!”

 

“God damn it! If I hurt my good arm, somebody’s gonna pay!” Jamie cradled it close to her body.

 

Ryan reached for her and carefully inspected her arm from wrist to shoulder, seeing nothing but a faint red mark. “Does it hurt?” she asked, moving it gently.

 

Jamie rubbed the spot, testing it, then shook her head. “Not too much. I think it’s just a bruise.” She looked over and saw the passenger from the boat that hit them fighting over the ball with another man who’d jumped out of his boat, leaving it idling with no one in the captain’s seat. “What in the hell do these idiots think they’re doing?” She turned and punched Ryan hard on the shoulder. “What in the hell were you doing?”

 

“Ow!” Looking thoroughly chastised, Ryan rubbed her shoulder. She shifted her eyes downward as she answered, “I was gonna jump in to get the ball.” She met Jamie’s eyes and said, “It was irresistible!”

 

“Change seats,” Jamie said, nearly growling.

 

Ryan got up and stood behind the two chairs, seeing and waving down a police boat. The officers acknowledged her, but first went to the two men who were still in the water. They helped the pilot of the large boat get back into his craft, then fished out the other man. The second man held the ball while the first tried to lean over and take it from him, reaching around the police officer to try and grab it.

 

The policemen separated them, then began writing citations. Amid loud accusations and complaints, they cited each man then moved back to Jamie and Ryan. “What happened?” one officer asked.

 

“When the ball landed, the guy in the navy blue Chris Craft zoomed in on it and hit us. He didn’t even stop to see if we were all right.” Jamie cast a look of disbelief at the offending pilot.

 

“Where’d he hit you, ma’am?”

 

“Just off the bow, on the starboard side. He was the give-way vessel!” she fumed. “I was at anchorage, you dim-wit,” Jamie shouted to the other boat. “Have you ever heard of the stand-on vessel!”

 

“He can’t hear you, ma’am,” the officer said, flinching when Jamie shot him a withering look. The police boat moved up a little and an officer jumped onto their boat. “I don’t see any damage,” he called back to his partner.

 

“Great,” Jamie snapped. “But he should be cited for being reckless.”

 

“He was,” one officer said. “And the other guy was too. Are either of you ladies hurt?”

 

“I bumped against the gunwale pretty hard, but I’m just bruised. How about you?” she asked, looking at Ryan.

 

“I’m fine. But I’d like to get one free swing at that idiot. Any chance of that?”

 

“’Fraid not, Ma’am,” the officer said, trying not to laugh. “I can give you his registration number if you want to make an insurance claim.”

 

“I’d like that,” Jamie said. “If I get whiplash …”

 

The officers took their information for a police report, then motored away, leaving Jamie to glare at her partner. “And you’re almost as bad. Do you have any brains?”

 

“No,” Ryan mumbled contritely.

 

Jamie grasped her ponytail and pulled until Ryan had to look at her. “How do I convince you that you can’t react like a dog when you see something you want?”

 

Shaking her head, Ryan said, “I don’t think you can. My father’s been trying since I was a baby.”

 

“Damn it, Ryan!” Jamie was so angry she was shaking.

 

“I’m so sorry, really I am.”

 

“If you’d dived in when you intended, you could’ve been hit by one of those propellers. Do you think those idiots would have cared?”

 

“No.”

 

“Do you think they would’ve even noticed if they’d run over you?” Jamie prodded

 

“No.”

 

“I just don’t understand what gets into your head, Ryan.”

 

“Nothing. Really. Nothing. I just … react.”

 

“Well, you’d better learn to react less and think more.” She pushed Ryan’s forehead with the heel of her hand. “You’ve got a huge brain. You’ve got to use it!”

 

“I know I should,” Ryan said plaintively. “I just … don’t.”

 

“Don’t talk to me, right now. Just … don’t talk.” Jamie turned her head and stared out at the dozens of boats surrounding them. After a few minutes, she said, “I don’t wanna be in this crowd. I’m gonna pull the anchor. Start the boat and go forward just a little bit.” Silently, Ryan followed instructions, letting Jamie bring the anchor back up. “Now take us over there,” she said, pointing. Ryan gave her a quick look, but did as she asked. When they were well away from any other boats, Jamie told her to cut the engine and she set the anchor again.

 

By the time they were settled, Bobby McFerrin was singing the National Anthem and a squadron of jets flew by in formation. Jamie didn’t speak again until the bottom of the first inning, when she said, “Will you sit in the back with me?”

 

Ryan nodded, then got up and helped Jamie to make sure she had her balance. There was a nicely padded bench that curved around the stern, and when Jamie sat down, she patted the bench next to her and Ryan joined her. Looking into Ryan’s eyes, Jamie quietly said, “I’m sorry.”

 

“You? What’ve you got to be sorry for?”

 

Sighing, Jamie said, “For trying to make you be who I want you to be.”

 

Ryan smiled tentatively. “Aww, honey, you can’t help that. You don’t want me to be an idiot. That’s not asking a lot.”

 

“It’s the same as asking you to be right-handed.” She took Ryan’s hand and kissed it gently. “You are who you are. And you react to things in your own way. I don’t have to like it, but I can’t change you. I’ve obviously got an impulsive nature, too. Yelling at you and hitting you are just as instinctive for me, but I’m going to do my best not to give in to those instincts. It’s wrong of me to get that angry with you for something you can’t control. And I’m very, very sorry for that.” Still holding Ryan’s hand, she placed it over her breast. “Will you forgive me?”

 

“Jamie,” Ryan soothed, stroking her hair, “you don’t owe me an apology. I could’ve gotten myself killed! What I did was incredibly stupid and if you weren’t upset, you’d be as crazy as I am.”

 

“Will you behave differently in the future?”

 

Ryan looked into those open, trusting eyes and told the truth. “No.”

 

“Then what purpose does it serve for me to scream at you and hit you? That’s like hitting a little kid for running after a toy. If you don’t have the ability to control yourself … it’s just not fair of me to be so punitive.”

 

Ryan took her hand and chafed it between her own. “You lashed out because you were worried and scared, right?”

 

“Of course. I can’t bear the thought of losing you. Especially to something so pointless.”

 

“So … how will you stop? I know I’ve told you that Da never hit us, but he’s grabbed me so hard he pulled me off my feet. Heck, he pulled out a handful of my hair when I was little. He cried when he saw what he’d done, but he couldn’t help himself.”

 

“My God!” Jamie’s face drained of all color. “What had you done?”

 

“I don’t remember. I did so many dumb things, there’s no way to remember half of ’em. I think he caught me, like you caught the back of my pants, only I didn’t stop. He wound up with a handful of my hair.” She shrugged. “I didn’t blame him. It hurt like hell, but I didn’t blame him. I felt really bad when he cried. I knew it was all my fault, but I didn’t … and still don’t know how to stop.”

 

Jamie leaned against her partner. “What are we gonna do? I hate myself for being rough with you! No one has ever raised a hand to me, Ryan. Why do I react like that? Where did I learn that?”

 

“I don’t know, babe. I guess it’s just instinct. But I really, really don’t blame you. The boys have done much worse when they were watching me.” She smiled, but Jamie didn’t. “Rory’s as gentle as a lamb, and he once tackled me and knocked out my front teeth.”

 

“Jesus!”

 

“I was about to run into traffic chasing a ball. They were just baby teeth,” Ryab added, as though that made it better. When Jamie didn’t lighten up, she said, “Come on … don’t let what you did bother you. It’s a perfectly normal reaction to being afraid.”

 

“I don’t think it’s normal. And I don’t want to do it again.” Jamie’s jaw was set and her eyes had gone steely.

 

“Let’s both work to not get in that position again.” Ryan kissed her head. “Okay?”

 

“All right.” Jamie gave her a grudging smile. “I’m gonna talk to Anna about this and see if she has any advice. I refuse to act like this with our kids, and if I can’t stop myself from doing it with you, I’m worried that I won’t be able to control myself with them.”

 

“Don’t worry about that.” Ryan put an arm around her and held her close. “Da grabbed me, and yanked on me, and picked me up roughly, and all sorts of things. He had to do something or he would have gone mad! I understood, Jamie. I really did.”

 

“I’m gonna find the two most calm, gentle, least-impulsive people on earth and pay them to have babies for us. It’s clear that neither of us should pass on our genes.”

 

Ryan looked at her for a long time before she spoke very seriously. “Please don’t say things like that. Even if you’re kidding—it hurts me.”

 

Jamie rested her head against Ryan’s shoulder. “I was kidding. But you’re right—I shouldn’t kid about something like that. I want all of your sweet genes in our babies.”

 

“And I want yours. You’re the woman I love, and I’d love nothing more than to have a little girl just like you.”

 

“Not a little boy?”

 

“Ahh … no. A little boy just like you would get the snot kicked out of him,” Ryan said, laughing. “The boys have to be more like me.”

 

“It’s a deal. Boys like you, girls like me. But without the impulse-control or anger-control issues.”

 

“Tall order, but we’ll work on it.”

 

***

 

That night at dinner, Ryan told Catherine about their afternoon, including her attempt to jump into the water. Catherine was justifiably shocked, but after considering the picture for a moment, she laughed. “Jamie, you must have been beside yourself!”

 

“Don’t remind me,” Jamie grumbled. “I hit her, Mom. I slugged her on the shoulder and she has a bruise!”

 

“Well, I’m not a big believer in violence, but I think you were justified, honey.” She and Ryan laughed, but Jamie didn’t join in. “You don’t mind getting a punch for doing something so foolish, do you, Ryan?”

 

“No. As a matter of fact, I prefer it. If she didn’t hit me, she’d cry, and that’s much worse. I’d rather make her angry than sad.”

 

“See?” Catherine said, smiling at Jamie. “Ryan’s able to look at this logically.”

 

Jamie shook her head. “If the two of you think punching is logical … you’ve both lost your minds!”

 

***

 

When they got home from dinner, Ryan took the phone into the living room, flopped down on the sofa, and called Conor. Jamie smiled when she heard her telling him about their afternoon, but when Ryan started to complain about the lack of hitting with men on base, she went up to their room. She had no idea who won the game or under what circumstances, but she knew that Ryan’s capacious mind hadn’t missed a trick.

 

 

Continued in Part Six