|Episode Guide||Teaser||Act 1||Act 2||Act 3||Act 4|
INT. SMALL ROOM Ė MORNING
Autolycus is seated at a small table enjoying a breakfast fit for The King of Thieves. Heís not paying attention to the noises around him and barely flinches at a loud crash just outside the door.
He does look up when the door is thrown open. For a moment he is speechless then a broad smile lights his features as he stands up.
They are standing in the doorway, neither of them looking particularly happy. Autolycus is on his way around the table to hug them until he gets a look at them.
Good to see you?
Autolycus, whatís going on here?
And why are you a part of it?
One at a time.
He gestures to the table.
Please, just tell us....
Okay. Itís simple really. This fellow
Kadmus, he got wind of the fact
there were people out there in the
world who were fans of yours. He
decided that holding the symposiums
were a great way for them to get together.
While he makes a small fortune
charging them for the right.
Iím sure thatís what it
seems like on the surface....
You mean it isnít?
He hesitates for a moment then smiles.
Okay it is like that, but really
Gabrielle, itís not like he forces
these people to come here.
They come of their own free will.
And thatís supposed to
make this all right?
I get the feeling that no
matter what I say; Iím
not going to win here.
Iím glad your leg healed
so nicely. Itíll make a better
noise when I break it.
Donít you ĎNow Xenaí me, you....
Autolycus, why are
you doing this?
Because they pay well?
That was totally the
wrong thing to say.
How could I turn it down? I got
a message a few weeks ago.
Kadmus offered me a small fortune
to come speak at this thing.
Define small fortune.
Five thousand dinars.
Yup, thatís a small fortune.
Autolycus, Gabrielle and I
arenít wild about someone
using us to make money.
Iím getting a sense of that.
Xena, before we do something
rash I think we need to understand
this thing from both sides.
And you suggest?
Gabrielle takes Xenaís arm and pulls her off to the side for a private conference.
INT. MERCHANTíS ROOM Ė MORNING
Xena is now alone and walking through a room with tables arranged all around it. As she looks at the tables she sees they are piled high with scrolls and pictures and replicas of her sword and chakram and Gabrielleís sais.
Oh, this just gets
better and better.
Approaching the table she picks up one of the chakrams. Itís much lighter than the real one, but the detail is pretty good.
Xena motions to the woman behind table.
Hundred and fifty.
She places it back on the table and continues to walk around the room. In a corner she sees several young people sitting at a table playing something that looks like a card game. As she approaches, she listens to their conversation.
I have a Joxer Iíll
trade for a Caesar.
Yeah, right. Keep dreaming.
How about an Aphrodite
for an Ares?
Sure. Dite is
more fun anyhow.
Isnít that the truth?
They stop what theyíre doing and look up at her.
Thanks, itís just something
I threw on. What are you
guys doing here?
Weíre trading to
complete our decks.
Gotcha. You enjoy this game?
Itís great! After you trade and
make the best deck you can,
then you can play and Xena and
Gabrielle can beat the bad guys.
Whoís the best card?
Why, Xena of course. She
beats just about anything.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Gabrielle and Autolycus are moving down a hallway, crowded with people who apparently work for Kadmus.
He should be around
Autolycus spots his quarry and leads Gabrielle over.
A middle-aged man turns to him. The first thing Gabrielle notices is that he appears to be in a perpetually bad mood.
Autolycus, what can
I do for you?
Actually, I think itís more what I
can do for you. This is a very dear
friend of mine that I think youíll
enjoy meeting. Kadmus, may I
present Gabrielle, the Battling Bard?
My, my. It is a pleasure
to meet you.
Gabrielle smiles and nods, but remains quiet.
INT. MAIN ROOM Ė DAY
Xena has gone back out to the innís main room where the symposium attendees are gathered. Seeing a small group seated at a table near the fire, she makes her way over.
Can I ask you a
The women all smile and gesture for her to join them.
I donít mean be
rude, but why?
Iím not sure I understand?
Well, why come here and listen
to stories about someone else?
Why pay good money to do this?
Because the stories are great.
Gabrielle wrote some of the most
amazing scrolls about their
adventures and itís nice to hear
people who really knew them.
But why Xena and Gabrielle?
Why not Hercules and Iolaus?
Because Hercules and Iolaus
are not two ass kicking babes.
Ass kicking babes?
Sure, not only are they two
women out on their own, but
damn, theyíre beautiful too.
I see. And this is appealing?
Have you been under a rock?
The strain is starting to get to Xena and she pinches the bridge of her nose as she tries to stop an oncoming headache.
INT. STAGEROOM Ė DAY
Autolycus, Kadmus and Gabrielle are walking through a large room with a stage set in the front of it and several benches set up through it for the audience.
And this is where
our guests speak.
And exactly what
do they speak about?
Knowing you. They come here
and tell their adventures with you.
Then they answer questions.
Questions about us?
I can only imagine
Autolycus affects a falsetto voice and swoons.
Oh, is Xena really that tall?
Are Gabrielleís eyes really green?
Arenít you in enough trouble?
So Iíd like to offer you the
chance to speak here.
Iíll be happy to pay you.
He seems to be thinking about it before he finally shrugs out his answer.
A thousand dinars?
Again, Gabrielle doesnít say anything, she just gives him a smile, that Autolycus knows isnít a happy one.
I have a couple of things to
attend to before the show starts.
Why donít you think about it
and Iíll be back in a while?
Gabrielle watches him leave then turns back to Autolycus.
And heís a dirty thief too.
Hey! I resent that. Heís
a crook, not a thief.
Heís got no style.
He sighs and shakes his head as he lays his hand on her shoulder.
Iím sorry about that.
I didnít realize.
Itís not your fault. Just goes to
prove if something sounds too
good to be true, it probably is.
Youíre going to get
him, arenít you?
You know it.
INT. MERCHANTíS ROOM Ė DAY
Xena is back to inspecting the tables. This time Kazia is with her.
Thanks for the rescue
No problem. I know how
some of them can get.
Kazia chuckles as they continue through the room with Xena inspecting each table.
Itís not that. Really. Theyíre just
very passionate about all this.
See, thatís the part I donít
understand. Why not get
passionate about their
Because most of our lives
are boring as wheat
growing in Amphipolis.
Okay, THAT I understand.
Exactly, and your adventures give
us something more in our lives. Itís
not that we donít do fine the way we
are, but most of us donít have the
courage or even the means to go out
and do what you two did. By
celebrating your adventures, we get
a little adventure of our own.
But why not just get together
on your own? All of this
costs a lot of dinars.
Because itís fun.
Kazia takes Xena to a table piled high with scrolls. She picks one up and hands it to Xena.
Your adventures have inspired other
bards to start writing. Some stories
are about you, fictional accounts
of adventures. Look at this.
Xena takes the scroll; she reads a few lines and looks to the guy running the table.
With a sigh she, retrieves a few coins and hands them over, then she sticks the scroll in a pouch at her belt.
Gabrielleís gonna freak.
END OF ACT TWO